Defeat The Godmodder

[Moniker]

Oh, some big hole in the ground? Whatever.

I attach some plasma booster jets to the bottom of the Armored Red Road Roller, which allow the vehicle to briefly accelerate upwards into the air! Enough of a boost to climb a cliff or jump over a ravine, say.

Click to shrink...

The Plasma Booster Jets give you extra lift! But you notice they have limited fuel! Will it be enough??

"A bold statement. Bold and also wrong on that last point, as we're about to demonstrate."

ES votes that the Koopa Tower is fired immediately at the Red Team's Replica Truck, specifically if possible their Replica Engine. Slowing them down could prove crucial in the coming time, and better to do it now before their powerup comes into effect.

Meanwhile, he gets to work alongside Amelia, and installs a Ray Shield to supplement the Particle Shield already aboard. Whereas one protects against environmental hazards, the other will mitigate damage dealt. It's also situated notably inside the Bullet Time Field, taking into affect only those attacks not deflected, improving its efficiency.

Click to shrink...

The Koopa Tower will do as you say without other votes!

You install a weak Ray Shield, which reduces damage from long-range attacks by 300! However, it doesn't defend against close-up attacks!

"Alrighty! Let's get em!"

THREE ACTION FOCUS - BOARD AND SWORD: I turn Ultimo Durana into a Sword and Shield and jump on the Blue team truck. "Hey." I stab the balista with a classic SnS combo. Clearly the best weapon.

Click to shrink...

Throwing caution to the winds, you leap through the air, doing a backflip and making a clean landing on the Blue team's truck! They react with shock as you immediately tear into the ballista, then prepare to fight back!

I proceed to hastily make a ramp by solidifying air into one! Where did the air come from? The Red Team's Replica Engine! Probably very damaging, considering that those things need oxygen to work. And also because I used some VERY crude Airbending to yoink it all out. I mean, it'd probably have been less damaging if I have teleported it out, but that's against the rules! (Action X2)

I also vote to use the Koopa Tower on on the Red Team's Replica Engine. And then, Just to be sure Valla has yet another thing to counter, I proceed to remotely hack into the Red Team's Autoturret, causing it to recognize the Red Team's Truck and occupants as the Boarders instead, shooting them all up until they destroy it themselves! (Action X 1)

I ignore the fact that my vision swam a bit.

==================================================================================================

The Tragedy of Alastair Dragovich (Part 2):

When Alastair returned to the Battlefield, he saw firsthand the devastation of a Godmodder hopped up on so called 'Omnipotence'. Perhaps this was the case. perhaps it wasn't. But either way, it was enough.

The Godmodder rampaged uncontested, and it was only by sheer luck that the devastation shattered everything to pieces rather than a clean molecular wipe. In doing so, Alastair fell into the Void. the uncontested, all absorbing Nothing. The kind of Nothing that corroded all that entered into more of itself.

However, Alastair was, and perhaps always will be, a Player. He swiftly wrapped himself in shards of Reality and made them into a cocoon. However, he still took on a lot of Nothing. So he meditated. For who knows how long, he meditated, focusing and shaping and reshaping his powers endlessly until it began to fight off the effects. He ceaselessly flooded himself with the powers of Creation to save himself.

At first, it took every last bit of his concentration. Then, over time, he refined the process, bit by bit. It took less effort. It took less energy. Soon, he could focus on things like stray thoughts. These grew to more pressing concerns, like acknowledging bodily functions. Eventually, though he couldn't push himself, he could both purge himself AND do other things.

And by the time he found himself in a new universe - a new plane of existence and, as far as he knows however accurately, a new Reality - the purification was a background process that, one day, would drive out the Nothing for good.

That is, unless something made him forget it existed in the first place. And what happened next would indeed set up for that exact scenario.

Click to shrink...

The Red Team's Replica Engine takes a very small amount of damage, reducing its Units/turn by .5! Note that these units can be reduced by decimals, and are rounded up. An air ramp solidifies! Combined with the plasma booster, this jump is looking better!

The Autoturret shoots a Replica Player for 500 damage, who whacks it with a wrench to fix it, dealing 250 damage to the autoturret!

So, the Blue Team is about to reach a powerup. They're getting closer, closer, and...wait. Where'd that tiny sinkhole come from? Some Player used geokinesis to effectively drop the powerup into a hole smaller than the Blue Team's vehicle? That's too bad, that'll take more effort to get. (x1)

Wow, so the same Player just summoned up and drop kicked a dozen small boulders to roughly between the Blue Team vehicle and the powerup before them? Huh, that Player must be a dick for trying to add questionable speed bumps for the Blue Team. (x1)

Finally, this particular Player is working on their own stuff. They appear to have created a pair of strangely shiny bicycles crewed by robots which are hooked up to the Armored Red Road Roller's front with thick cables. The robots are inexplicably managing speeds far beyond what a bicycle should be able to, pulling the slower Armored Red Road Roller along. The sheer bulk of the Armored Red Road Roller limits their impact but the Armored Red Road Roller is moving a bit faster than before. (x1)

Unsurprisingly, this Player also votes for the Koopa Tower is to shoot the Red Team's Replica Engine. At least they're spreading out their offensive actions to more than just the Blue Team.

Click to shrink...

The hole drops the Blue team's powerup down lower! Also, boulders appear in their path, and the Blue Team gets ready to deal with the problem...

+.5 Units of speed/turn!

Focused Action:
Piono glowers at the voice in the sky, and then slings a massive magnet forwards up into the air. Suddenly, the two powerups for Red and Blue team creak and groan before shooting up and slamming into the magnet. The magnet isn't a racer, so all it does is hold onto them while Piono whips out his fishing pole enchanted with the elemental power of YOINK and reels in the magnet towards Green Team. Once Green Team (our team) hits 21 distance we will acquire the powerups ourselves! How about that!

Click to shrink...

You feel a mysterious, as a ghostly, yet familiar-looking apparition appears next to you and lends additional strength to your attempt... The Blue and Red team powerups are yours for the taking!

Valla: Nope. Nope. NOPE!

Valla, using her three actions, grabs Red Team's powerup and locks it in position squarely in front of the Replica vehicle! Red Team's powerup is safe! But Blue Team's powerup is yours!

FOCUS

By dint of a great many downward facing fans, I give the Red Road Roller Improved Antigrav! That means it falls slower, which is of great help when, say, jumping a ravine, and has a bit more resistance to groundbound threats.

Click to shrink...

Improved Antigrav is added, and its permanent! This is the coup de grace! With all three things combined, you're feeling confident about the ravine!

[aleph+bet+gimel] Leah looks upon the enemy factions, and sighs. This will be a challenge and a half, won't it?

Leah doesn't feel like blowing her full load of creative power for something as modest as what she's about to do, but she's not going to be a one-liner. That's uncreative. Like green. Green is uncreative. That's why the vehicle they now drive is red. Can't be as uncreative as the two flatbed trucks the other teams got, though. What a joke that is. In any case-Leah reaches her hollow golden frame arm into her crystalline cobalt arm and pulls out a frying pan, worthy of an ordinary factor of fifty averages. She slams it down upon the Spinning Blades that surround the Armored Red Road Roller and inexplicably add a patch of flying pans of similar make around it, with equally deadly force. She withdraws the pan into her arm, and takes out, instead, a... Lemons. No. They're lemons on fire. Combustible lemons. Cave Johnson's thumbs up comes crashing down from the sky above like a bolt of lightning, slamming into the flying derbis around the Armored Red Road Roller without interfering with it in any way, shape or form, save if you count adding a ring of combustible lemons to the spinning blades for a fiery hazard to be an interference. An interference of the good kind. Finally, she stores the combustible lemon and returns with a collection of four dollar cheap movie DvDs, the kind that are in every grocery store and more and the kind that contain every average-to-poor but still watchable movie under the sun and stars. She opens the case, and the power of cheap DvDs fills the air as the DvDs join in unison with the other obstacles, upgrading the spinning blades to the Whirling Dervish of Many Things, improving its damaging factor to incoming foes by a great deal!

Leah can't really think of the next part of her story with all of this racing to focus on!

Click to shrink...

The Spinning blades now deal 2,000 damage! Note that with all the debris currently in the air, further upgrades will be even more expensive...

---------

Your Koopa Tower sends a koopa shell flying at Red Team's Replica engine! It damages it, slowing it down by 1 Unit of speed per turn!

RED TEAM:

Valla's already used all her actions!

One Red Replica Player dives through the air, landing squarely on the back of the Blue Team's truck! They're ready to fight! They start by stabbing a Blue Replica Player for 1,000 damage!

Two other Red Replica Players charge up and fire two MEGA BOULDERS at your Red Road Roller! The bullet time field stops them, but it'll only delay them if you don't follow up...

The final Red Replica Player spends a turn upgrading their engine to go faster! It's got +2 Units/turn of speed!

Red Team's autoturret fires at Blue's anti-vehicle Ballista, doing 750 damage! It turns towards your team next...

BLUE TEAM:

One Blue Team Player launches themselves across the gap, landing on Red Team's truck! They stab the anti-boarding turret array for 1,000 damage, but not before the turrets have already dealt 3,000 damage to them!

A second Blue Team Player grabs the Anti-Vehicle Ballista and fires at Red Team's Anti-Boarding turret array, dealing 2,500 damage!

Another Blue Team Player charges and sends a PSYCHIC BLAST towards your vehicle! The bullet time field slows it just in time!

A fourth Blue Team Player is back at the engines, hammering away... +2 Units of speed per turn to them!

The final Blue Team Player turns towards GoldHero101, charges, and tackles them! Goldhero101 is sent reeling, and gets slammed onto the ground, taking 3,000 damage! Another hit like that, and they're out!

----------

Your cars surge forward!

The Red Team hits their SHIELD POWERUP, gaining immunity to damage for one turn! They move 21 Units forwards!

The Blue Team's Replica Truck bumps and whumps on boulders, taking 1,000 damage! They surge 22 Units forwards!

Your team collects the SPEED POWERUP meant for Blue, gaining a permanent +5 Boost to your Units/turn! As you approach the ravine, you turn on the Plasma Jets, roll up the Air ramp, and everyone grabs onto something... but you make it past the gap, and land... decently... thanks to the help of the antigravity engines! Why, you even had a whole 2 meters to spare! You all release your breath. Success! You surge 16 Units forwards!

AND NOW FOR OUR NEXT ROUND OF OBSTACLES!

RED TEAM FACES... A DOUBLE-ACTION POWERUP! WHICHEVER PLAYER COLLECTS THIS POWER-UP GETS DOUBLED ACTIONS FOR A TURN!

BLUE TEAM FACES... A REINFORCEMENT BOOSTER! IF THEY COLLECT IT, THEY GET AN EXTRA REPLICA PLAYER ADDED TO THEIR TEAM!

THESE TWO POWERUPS ARE SPECIAL, IN THAT IF GREEN TEAM COLLECTS THEM, THE RED ROAD ROLLER WILL INSTANTLY EXPLODE!

GREEN TEAM FACES... A MASSIVE HORDE OF ZOMBIES! HOPE THEY CAN PLOW THROUGH!

Ah crap... up ahead, there's a massive heard of zombies, stretching at least 10 Blocks... they're again too large to swerve around, and way longer than the canyon you just jumped over! You'll have to equip your vehicle with something to destroy the zombies as you're plowing through them!

Valla: Of course, Blue Team is getting all the good powerups...! My team is so oppressed and discriminated against, I swear...!

Valla: Something must be done!

----------

Back at the Gymnasium, a mysterious, dark figure enters, and begins running up behind you... they're catching up quickly! You'll need to keep ahead of them...!

THE RACES:

----------------------------------------+++----------------------------------------------- 41/100

-----------------------------------------+++---------------------------------------------- 42/100

?----------------------------+++---------------------------------------------------------- 26/100

RED TEAM:
Shielded - Can't take damage!
Valla: 5,000/5,000 HP (countering ability!)
Replica Player: 4,500/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Shielded - Can't take damage!
Replica Truck
Durability: 15,000 HP
Replica Engine: Fantastic Condition (+20 Units/turn)(Last-minute speed blast, +10 Distance units once!)
Autoturret: 2,750 HP, 3,000A (automatically fires at an enemy vehicle every turn)
Anti-Boarding Turret Array: 4,000 HP (boarding enemies take 3,000 damage)
Speed: +21 Units/turn
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP

BLUE TEAM:

Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 4,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Replica Truck
Durability: 14,000 HP
Replica Engine: Perfect Condition (Decent damage resistance)(+19 Units/turn)
Anti-Vehicle Ballista: 2,000 HP, 5,000A (Needs Player to spend all three actions firing)
Anti-Attack Shield Generator: Perfect condition (reduces long-range attacks to 1/4 damage!)
Speed: +22 Units/turn
GoldHero101: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP

YOUR OBSTACLE: MASSIVE HORDE OF ZOMBIES!

GREEN TEAM:
Eternalstruggle: 5,000/5,000 HP
ThatRandomGuy: 5,000/5,000 HP
Alastair Dragovich: 5,000/5,000 HP
Piono: 5,000/5,000 HP
The Nonexistent Tazz: 5,000/5,000 HP
CaptainNZZZ: 5,000/5,000 HP
General_Urist: 5,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Armored Red Road Roller
Durability: 6,000 HP
Speedy Improved Antigravity Big Rigs Engine: Perfect condition (+8 speed)(Modest damage resistance)(Clutch boost - get +5 units of distance once!)
Particle/Ray shield engine: Perfect condition (weak protection against environmental damage)(blocks 300 long-range damage)
Spoiler: 1,000 HP, allows for one emergency turn!
Spinning blades: Deals 2,000 damage to boarders!
Koopa Tower: 3,000 HP, Special: 2,000A long-range attack: 1/2
Bullet Time Field: Holds up to 3 attacks/attackers in place for a turn, granting increased reaction time!
Robot Cyclists: +.5 Units/turn!
Speed: +15.5 Units/turn

MEGA BOULDER (3,000 damage, slowed by Bullet Time Field!)
MEGA BOULDER (3,000 damage, slowed by Bullet Time Field!)
PSYCHIC BLAST (3,000 damage, slowed by Bullet Time Field!)

 

[Moniker]

FOCUS: I open the orange box.

Click to shrink...

There are more than 4 levels on the urple scale.

I open the 2nd box from the top x1-3.

Click to shrink...

The Green door is not rated Burple.

Known Ratings:
Flurple, Nurple, Durple, Smurple, Burple.
maximum ratings number:
6 (one possibly unknown rating)
best known approximation of scale:
(?)
Flurple
(?)
Nurple
(?)
Durple
(?)
Possibly: Burple.

Flurple is the most dangerous rating of the relatively known ratings. we know four of the ratings with some idea of their position (empty note doesn't sound dangerous, suggesting Burple is low on the scale).
our knowledge on individual doors says:
Red - Flurple
Blue - not Durple
Green - not Smurple.
As such, we know red is probably fairly dangerous- even if both smurple and the unknown possible rating are above it, that puts red Slightly above-average.
That said, blue also probably isn't the Safest... and green we haven't a clue because Smurple could mean anything.
At the moment, we don't have enough information.
Possible trends in Level names / level positioning: B(?)->D->F no; a B->D trend would go on to F, but it goes to N instead, and F is further so it can't just be missing knowledge.
gap from D->n is bigger then n->s, so it's unlikely to be that.
odds are decent the scale's order is randomized or something; at least, there are no clear patterns..
a theoretically possible one is that the length of the non-urple parts plays a part, since FL urple is ahead of N urple and D urple, in which case SM urple would be fairly high too... but, not enough information.

[full] red box.

Click to shrink...

The Red door is at the second highest level of danger.

The quiet watcher sits a while and begins puzzling out everything that they already had, knowing that they were racing against the clock.

As of right now, there were, at max, six levels in this urple scale. Burple seemed to be the lowest level, likely at a one, as no one had died when the green box had been opened. Of course, that might simply mean that there had been a neurotoxin hidden on the paper or in the box, but that was why he was glad he hadn't handled the blank paper or had been near the box. Durple was likely to be the next level up, though Smurple could be there instead of being higher up. Either way, above Durple was Nurple, and above that was Flurple, with a possible space for the Smurple at all of those levels due to how little was known about it. The remaining level, or even if it existed, was still unknown though, so he was working on what he had.

The red door was Flurple(4-6), and thus the highest level range in possibilities. If the levels couldn't repeat, that meant that the green door was either Durple(2-4) or Nurple(3-5), and the blue door was either Smurple(2-6) or Nurple(3-5). That meant that the green door had the best chance of being the lower level on the urple range. That leads into a different problem though, namely what that range was. Was it based on information? On Danger? On the basis of communication? Either way, what he was going to do was clear.

The quiet watcher goes to the green door, throws up a field behind him to prevent additional casualties if he was incorrect, and slowly opens the door with all three of his actions.

Click to shrink...

You approach the green door...

Mm... so far, 5 urples are found... guess more box opening is required...

I pick out the box just above the grey box and open that.

Click to shrink...

The danger level Nurple does not exist.

I open the red box

Click to shrink...

The Red box is open, so you open the purpleish box instead!

The Blue and Green doors are at most 2 levels apart on the danger scale.

I open the yellow-green Box near the bottom of the list.

Click to shrink...

My friends, please... think of the big picture.

---------

The Quiet Watcher approaches the Green Door, clearly intending to open it... then gets sucked in before anybody can react!

Then, the silence is broken. Somebody has warped into the room with you.

Across the room is a man dressed in black. Black hood. Black sunglasses. Black scarf, raised high enough to cover their mouth. Just looking at them fills you with dread. Have you... made a mistake with your approach here...?

On his gloves (guess what... they're black), is a white symbol that stands out. Two crossed swords.

You feel immense murderous intent.

If you stay here, you will die.

-----------

The Quiet Watcher is in some kind of odd colored room. The walls are a bright orange and red pattern. Its... a carnival tent.

On the other side of the room is a door. There's nothing in your way. But on the sides of the room... mirrors. Dozens of them, all lined up. You can see a dark reflection with the corner of your eyes... it fills him with fear. The Quiet Watcher clutches at his clothes.

On the ground is a note. Courage is hastily scribbled onto it.

CURRENT ROOM DEPTH: 1

Green Door (leads to mirror room)
Blue Door
Red Door

Table:
The Red Door is rated Flurple.
The Green door is not rated Burple.
Box
Box
Box
Box
Box
The Blue Door is not rated Durple.
Box
Box
The Blue and Green doors are at most 2 levels apart on the danger scale.
The rating Nurple is below Flurple on the scale, but above Durple.
The danger level Nurple does not exist.
The danger level of the green box is Burple.
The Red door is at the second highest level of danger.
There are more than 4 levels on the urple scale.
There are less than 7 levels on the urple scale.
My friends, please... think of the big picture.
*empty*
The green door is not rated Smurple.

Karpinsky: 5,000/5,000 HP
JOEbob: 5,000/5,000 HP
Winkins: 5,000/5,000 HP
Ranger Strider: 5,000/5,000 HP
Cephalos Jr.: 5,000/5,000 HP
Bill Nye: 5,000/5,000 HP

[Anti-AG]???: Seemingly Invincible!

MIRROR ROOM (DEPTH: 2)
Mirrors
Exit Door

The quiet watcher: 5,000/5,000 HP

 

[Moniker]

C'thun? I turn one of C'thun's worshippers into... Cthulhu!

Click to shrink...

The worshippers immediately switch the target of their worship into the newly awakened Cthulhu! Except, it isn't really Cthulhu... its just a toy Cthulhu plushie! C'thun then smites the followers for their ignorance!

1x I quickly put down the 1,000HP Blackwolf with a rock.

2x A concentrated field of landmines appear in the path of the mysterious [Anti-AG] forcing him to take a detour, for even if he bulldozes right into the minefields, the explosion and damage is enough to slow him down.

Click to shrink...

Blackwolf mercy-nomercy-killed!

The Anti-AG unit curves a little, trying to move around the minefields! +.5 turns until they arrive!

x3 Action:
Eyowe, using the power of remote homophony, turns the Seraph into Syrup, which he then drops to the ground instead of eating it. How wasteful.

Click to shrink...

Seraph slain! Somebody should probably pick up that syrup. Assuming they can find it in the darkness.

Ah, an eldritch abomination. It's been a while since I've fought one of these.

Focused Action: I crush C'Thun down into only three spatial dimensions, causing severe damage to it. Then, I hit it with a barrage of distortion beams, shredding it.

Click to shrink...

35,000 damage! C'Thun quickly expands back into their original four-dimensional proportions.

Action 1:
I open my jaw horrifyingly wide, to the point that it's wider than I am tall. I use my horrific gaping maw to dig the trench (or somehow repair the wall if the trench is dug).

Action 2:
With the trench dirt still in my mouth, I violently expel it at the adamantium golem as a projectile.

Action 3:
I glare at a wall angrily until it starts to reassemble itself.

Click to shrink...

NOM NOM NOM +12% digging!

1,500 damage to the adamantium golem!

+11% wall!

(x3)Trench Clearing via use of Explosions Experiment 1,2 and 3 is a go

Click to shrink...

Ancient Trench complete!

Now, every time an enemy attacks you, they take 1,000 damage! This trench upgrade should help keep low-tier enemies from building up!

It occurs to you that you could possibly upgrade the trench with spikes (or other damaging things) to make it deal even more damage.

I immediately spot the forces coming into the power generator and cry out. "Can somebody reinforce that line? I would if I could, but I'm stuck prepping for a big one."

With that said, I get on with what needs doing. If the trench still needs more digging, I will put one action into it, if no, then just put it into my other idea.

With all of my power, I sink it into making enhancing my shield. The cold seems to sink into it somehow. And as I look further( atomic level) the bonds between atoms seem to be reinforcing one another to a whole mother level of strength, making it very hard for anybody to get through it.

Click to shrink...

You create the Protective Shield! Its worth 2 attack shields. Currently, you have it equipped on yourself.

I see the other defenders placing a fair deal of effort into digging the Trench and it should hopefully be finished very soon. Just then I hear Gnich calling out the enemies near the power generator. 'Yeah I better get over there otherwise we might find ourselves fighting blind.' I think to myself as I assess the situation. Quickly I move onto the teleporter that would take me to the Darkness 2 and I press the button the cause the teleporter to activate. Suddenly I feel a little bit of energy drain from me as I feel myself suddenly moved to a different location. (1 CP)

'Okay here we are.' I think to myself as I look around the field and see the Dark Archer and General. 'Okay I won't be able to do enough damage to kill the General immediately and I don't think I can get the Archer in range while at the same time still have enough to then take them out. So in lieu of a better option I'll give a attack shield to the Power Generator as to prevent the archer from damaging it and then attempt to take out the archer next turn.' I mentally plan out.

Closing my eyes I focus my energy into my wish. 'I wish for attack shield to appear as to protect the Power Generator from damage!' Suddenly in a burst of red light a red translucent bubble appears over the Power Generator. The bubble I can tell is fairly firm and should be able to hold off an attack. 'Okay, good.' I think to myself. (2 CP)

Click to shrink...

You warp to The Darkness II, and summon an attack shield! The generator is protected!

3x: The MTF operative frantically builds the Ancient Wall. Bricks, then mortar, then bricks, then mortar, then...

"Is anyone else a little worried about that statue? Like... what's inside of it that's so good? Or so bad?"

Click to shrink...

Ancient Wall complete!

The Ancient Wall has 20,000 HP! Also, all healing directed towards the Wall will be doubled! The wall remains on the field even at 0 HP, and can continue to be repaired. So long as it has HP, it will provide complete protection from enemy attacks!

------------

AG:

The Deprecated Robot stabs a Black Wolf for 1,000 damage!

V:

The injured Black Wolf rushes up and bites the Wall, dealing 2,000 damage, but on the way back trips into the Trench and dies!

The Adamantium Golem and Dark Infantryman attack the Wall, dealing 3,000 damage! C'thun lends them support with their paranoiac stare for 4,000 more damage, but the trench somehow deals 10,000 damage to them as well!

Over on the Darkness II side, the Dark Archer shoots at the power generator, but is blocked by the attack shield! Meanwhile, the Dark General summons a Black Wolf!

N:

The enemy continues to approach... you've delayed them a little, but they're getting closer...!

---------

From the black appears another Dark infantryman, and TWO Dark Generals! Look out!

Meanwhile, on the Darkness II side, another Dark Archer appears, along with this turn's "familiar" enemy - the Cyber Dragon! Still ready to use Bide!

THE DARKNESS:

Endless Blackness (more enemies every turn!)

[Anti-AG]??? (1.5 turns away)

[V]Dark General: 10,000 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Dark General: 10,000 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)

[V]Adamantium Golem: 500 HP, 2,000A (miniboss!)

[V]C'thun: 55,000/100,000 HP(takes x10 damage), 4,000A (deathly touch)(paranoic stare)

[V]Dark Infantryman: 1,000 HP, 1,000 x Infantrymen!A (attack multiplies by number of infantrymen alive on field)
[V]Dark Infantryman: 2,000 HP, 1,000 x Infantrymen!A (attack multiplies by number of infantrymen alive on field)

Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)
Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)
Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)

Ancient Trench: Ready! Deals 1,000 damage to attackers! Spike Upgrade: 0% complete!

Ancient Wall: 11,000/20,000 HP (protects everything)(x2 healing)
Ancient Wall: 0% repaired!

Ancient Forcefield Generator: Use once to completely protect Godmodder Statue!

[AG]Deprecated Robot: 3,000 HP, 1,000A (stronger if zombified)(can't be zombified by Players)(???)

[N]Godmodder Statue: 13,500 HP (DEFEND!)

Teleporter (Use one action to teleport to The Darkness II)

[AG]DanganMachin: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Crusher: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]ExoSkeletal: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]DragonOfHope: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Daskter: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Eyowe: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]ParadoxDragonPaci: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Gnich: 5,000/5,000 HP (next attack does triple damage, plus inflicts effects on nearby enemies!)(Protector Shield, protects from 2 attacks)
[AG]Strider: 5,000/5,000 HP

THE DARKNESS II:

[V]Cyber Dragon: 11,000/11,000 (uses bide)

[V]Dark Archer: 2,000 HP, 4,000A (too far away to attack!)
[V]Dark Archer: 2,000 HP, 4,000A (too far away to attack!)

[V]Dark General: 10,000 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Black Wolf: 3,000 HP, 2,000A

Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)

Ancient Wall: 0% repaired!

Shield generator: Grants recharging 2,000 HP shield to Power generator!

Teleporter (Use one action to teleport to The Darkness)

[N]Power Generator: 10,000 + 2,000 HP (powering electric lights!)(protected from 1 attack)

[AG]Captain.cat: 5,000/5,000 HP (protected from 1 attack)

 

[Moniker]

"This is bullshit." ES mutters to himself. "I mean, fair's fair, we were told it was a bad idea, now we're seeing why. Should have followed my lead and finished him off earlier... now we're stuck like this."

Amelia was not taking this lying down, seeing as she was currently staring down the slowly swirling psychic blast, trapped in the bullet time field.

"Messing with the energies of the universe like this... not only creating half-living shadows, but giving them the Gift? I'm not even that religious and it smarts! God would punish you for your hubris, but he's kinda dead..."

She pauses. "So I guess I'll have to SUBSTITUTE! BECAUSE THERE SEEMS TO BE NO GOD HERE BUT ME! TAKE THIS!" With a sharp gesture, she exerts her own will on the psychic blast. The Replicas have, at best, a facsimile of a will. In a contest of pure physical might it may only make a slight difference, but in a contest of pure psychic energy it ensures they shall know only defeat.

Amelia gains control over the blast, moulding it to her will, interfacing and overcoming the psychic link with the Replica, and then sends it careening away, into one of the Boulders. If it manages to overpenetrate and destroy it (psychic energy conveniently vaporises things instead of leaving shrapnel, of course) then it's on a collision course with the second boulder.

Click to shrink...

The Psychic Blast is successfully completely redirected! It hits a boulder, knocking it off course! Only one boulder remains aimed at your truck!

3 ACTION FOCUS - GET OVER HERE: I pull out a grappling hook. "This should be good." I grab the name tag of their car with the grappling hook. I jump back onto our car and give the hook to Piono as a freebie. "Do what you must!"

Click to shrink...

You grab the name tag of their's car! Coincidentally, their's car has the same nametag as the red and/or blue team.

CaptainNZZZ
General_Urist
Yo, we need one of you to help ES counter the incoming attacks and the other to mitigate/remove the zombies. Use upgrades to our vehicle if you have to.
The rest of us are coordinating something to make sure we can catch a break.

And to clarify, please do not mess with the incoming Powerups unless you've been specifically asked to, we're setting up something screwy with them.



I grab the other end of the hook from Goldhero and nod, saluting him.

3 ACTION FOCUS - SOUPSWAP TIME
I climb up to the top of our vehicle and take the other end of the grappling hook, tying, chaining, and otherwise afixing it to another hook, which I promptly hook onto the nametag of OUR vehicle. The Red Road Roller and Blue's Replica Truck have had their name tags tied to each other by this mysterious rope! To make absolutely certain that this continues to go off as best as we can make it, I cast as many "unbreaking" spells as I can on the sucker at once. These relay up the grappling hook and the whole thing, for the next couple of seconds/minutes, will be totally unbreakable or otherwise able to be interfered with by the other teams.

I step back from the rope and give Leah the thumbs up. Their turn, time to finish this gimmick up.

Click to shrink...

You successfully hook up the nametags of all three cars!

Valla: Hmm?

Countering!

FOCUS

So, here comes a Mega Boulder, caught in a Bullet Time Field.

Firstly, TRG bends the fabric of probability, and turns two different Trousers of Time into 3-legged intersecting messes, to temporarily summon a Reactor, with attendant energy and metal. He uses that to very quickly build a small structure around it, the main feature of which is a number of Moonshot Portals. Due to the nature of bullet time, and so on, the portals cannot directly intersect, but they can be moved to where the Mega Boulder is going to be. The Boulder flies in at great speed, and . . .

TRG could just fire it out of a portal pointed the other way. But that'd be uncreative, vulnerable to the Curse of Repetition, and a waste of certain unique tricks available to Players and Reactor users.

Firstly, the Mega Boulder gets fed into a 'Particle Accelerator' . . . the wrong way around, effectively trapping in a infinite loop of heading upward. It takes a few moments, but with a good few minutes of cutscene time (and the space between the portals containing a slowing field and having high air pressure), it slows right down.

Now, what happened during that cut-scene time? Firstly, TRG builds a second 'particle accelerator', with no atmosphere inside to slow things down, enhanced downward gravity, a set of lasers to heat up the Boulder, and a transmutation induction device to turn parts of it to very heavy osmium. Then, he duplicates that setup several times, and links it all up duplication matrices. Finally, a gun-barrel shaped lattice of magic, metal, and a single portal at one end is created, to give the various heated super-speed part-osmium Mega Boulders a few temporary enchantments related to reduced air resistance, homing, holiness, and so on.

Then the Mega Boulder finally runs out of momentum, and switches direction. A lot of very complicated portal switching, activation, deactivation later (as well as quickly manifesting or returning any parts of the contraption that have ceased to have use), the following flies out of the 'gun-barrel' at the Zombies: 255 (1+1*2+1*4+1*8+1*16+1*32+1*64+1*128) heated super-speed part-osmium holy homing Mega Boulders.

So. You tell me. What happens to the Zombies?

Click to shrink...

The zombies are utterly melted by a large boulder flying right through them! A large hole opens up in their ranks, though other zombies are quickly closing it. Obstacles totally countered, plus you'll have an easier time to cutting through the zombies!

With the other players pulling off a switcheroo of epic and successfully guaranteed proportions, I decide to grab the powerups for us. But how? Last time we got one, but Valla stole it back with three Actions...

Well, first things first, gotta get those powerups. Thinking quickly, I create a throne. A familiar throne. What throne?

The throne for the King of the Hill! In fact, it's shaped just like the replacement character! The powerups conspire for a moment and then, of their own free will leap into the throne, allowing us to collect them and realize themselves as the reincarnation of the original - not Verraad/Godmodder - King of the Hill. May his rule be just and his actions be profitable during his short stay on our team.

In the meantime, I realized the perfect switch. Mostly the second it leapt away, I created a real life green screen with pre-loaded special effects, had it depict me kicking the Blue Powerup away, and sent a ULTRA +10 PLAYER FOOLING FAKE POWERUP (Blue Team Edition) flying in the same trajectory that the special effects version of the powerup did. Specifically, this ULTRA +10 PLAYER FOOLING FAKE POWERUP (Blue Team Edition), lands in front of Valla. I swear and berate myself to sell the illusion as the Green Screen feels awkward and just poofs out of this race to go play checkers with a flying carpet.

================================

The Tragedy of Alastair Dragovich(part 3)

Alright then. Let's continue.

Alastair, upon finding himself in this unfamiliar Reality before him, began to wander. Wherever he went, haunted by his failures, he would relentlessly help everyone he could. Mundane as saving kittens from trees, as monumental as talking a dragon down from slaughtering a nation, to something in between, like helping a village recover from an impossible winter.

It was never enough. He felt the burden of, to his mind, all of existence being destroyed. At the very least it was the existence he know about, though that had been drastically little. But he needed to do more - be more. He needed to make up for his sins.

So when he heard of another Godmodder on a rampage, he did not stop for a single second to consider any method of approach or a better alternative. He went to confront the Godmodder.

Unfortunately for him, that Godmodder happened to be the most dangerous Godmodder known - Verraad.

Yes. Alastair Dragovich and Verraad had fought before. Verraad, in his all consuming ego and greed, does not remember because to him all his victims are beneath notice. Alastair does not remember.... well, I just told you, didn't I?

Alastair did not win the first time.

Click to shrink...

Valla: Stealing our powerups? AGAIN? You guys are so annoying! Cut it out!

Valla uses two of her actions to teleport her double-action powerup to a pocket dimension for the few seconds during which this attack takes place, allowing it to be protected from Alastair's grabbing!

Nonetheless, you successfully bring the other powerup in front of your vehicle, and send fooling powerups flying in the direction of the other teams!

2 actions: Plow through the zombies? OK then! I attack a gigantic armored snowplow thingy (one of those wedge-shaped/cowcatcher ones) to the front of the road roller to allow it to plow more efficiently. Just in case its status a a road roller is't enough to steamroll some zombies.

1 action: I attach a whole bunch of rubber sealant to various parts of the crew compartment, to make sure there's no risk of aerosolized zombie stuff or whatever getting inside and infecting people.

Spoiler: OLD POST, depreciated

1 action: Plow through the zombies? OK then! I attack a gigantic armored snowplow thingy (one of those wedge-shaped ones) to the front of the road roller to allow it to plow more efficiently. Just in case its status a a road roller is't enough to steamroll some zombies.

1 action: Fuck no, I ain't letting the Blues get more people! I'm removing that reinforcement booster from the equation, because it's not like it'll be much help for us with our actual unique personalities! With that, I proceed to duel wield RPG-7s (one rocket launcher in each hand), and in quick sucession fire both of them at the reinforcement booster! Even if it doesn't destroy the booster, the power of the blast should push it somewhere that the blues cannot collect it.

1 action: Let's try messing with their control. I take out a crossbow and try to shoot out some tires on Blue team's replica truck.

Click to shrink...

You attach a plow to get some of those zombies out of the way! Looking good! You might need a coup de grace to make sure the zombies don't slow you down, though... Also, the zombies now definitely won't get inside, or climb up onto the car and become enemies that you need to kill!

[aleph+bet+gimel] Leah nods at Piono and GoldStar and readies herself for her switcheroo. "Omniglot!"

"Readying linguistic metatransitioning protocols," Omniglot hums, as his frame glows a serene green. At the same time, the rope that Piono and Goldstar have switched the nametags on glows a similar color. Leah flies up to the rope and grabs it with both of her arms, which morph to give Leah a surefire grip. And then, she starts swinging herself around on it-looping around and around, somehow flinging herself to and fro along the cable! With each rotation she flies a bit further forwards (or back) and each time she goes to and fro the Red Road Roller and Blue Replica Truck, each time touching the vehicle-but only that-before leaving to return to the other vehicle. It almost looks like she's not acutally doing anything of value other than showing off...

...Well, to anyone other than the not-replica players of Green Team, who clearly see what's going on. For each touch, Leah's created the ghastly image of a letter, while simultaniously trading the previous letter off to the other vehicle, if any. To the green team, the ghastly letters feel of raw identity and targeting properties; the very essence of the names of both vehicles is being transferred and altered, one letter at a time, all at a surprisingly fast rate.

Leah soon hops right off the tether, causing it to explode in a shower of terrible explosion gifs, confetti and question marks, just in time to see the fruit of her work-by some inexplicable powers, though the two vehicles are otherwise untouched, the vehicles have swapped names entirely! The Green Team's Vehicle is now called and known as 'Replica Truck,' while the Blue Team's vehicle is called and known as 'Red Road Roller.'

This combination of actions is pretty useless on its own, natch. However, the helpful announcer gave word that if Green Team collected either (or both) of the 'obstacles' that were lined up for the Red or Blue teams, the Red Road Roller would instantly explode.

Rather handy, then, that the Green Team's vehicle is not the Red Road Roller; its now the Replica Truck. The Blue Team, though riding the same vehicle before Leah's action as they were, are now riding a vehicle named 'Red Road Roller.'

Hope they came prepared for abrupt conceptual explosion application.

Leah's story will have to continue elsewhen, alas! She spent all her concentration on this now-completed combo action.

Click to shrink...

Blue team's name switched!

Valla: Oh boy, this is gonna be good... hmm...

Valla spends her third action preparing for something.

That's certainly a lot of zombies before us. It's like someone decided to just start stealing zombies from some major zombie genre and just dump them all over the track. Hmmm, given their sudden appearance, they're probably from the Walking Dead. Those hordes always do have the magical ability to suddenly appear out of nowhere...

Anyway, onto the issue of punching out way through this undead mess. As a semi-regular user of undead entities, I am aware of both the advantages and disadvantages of using undead beings. They might not need substance or rest, but they suffer from a notable issue as a horde. The power of giant, heavily modified vehicles with terrible cg explosions! From Dawn of the Dead to the Resident Evil 3 movie, this truth rings out loudly.

Currently, the vehicle we currently have isn't too bad. There's a gigantic wedge stuck on the front, anti-gravity, and spinning blades. Not enough but it's still something. Something that soon will become even greater!

Leaving the issue of modifying the vehicle itself to other, I focus on offensive capabilities. Even ignoring the importance of offense for punching through a zombie horde according to movies, dead or damaged zombies are a fair bit easier to get past with an anti-gravity vehicle.

After quickly giving the robot cyclists shotguns and forward facing armored wedges, I move onto the main vehicle. On the top of the vehicle I create 'Generic Zombie Movie Protagonist #378' and supply the rugged looking survivor with the ultimate weapon: homemade explosives. With the power of cgi based explosions, these homemade explosives are perfect for the task of getting us through the zombie horde. Surprisingly powerful, inexplicably unable to damage anything that's not a zombie, and repeatable, they'll be far more effective than just creating 'Generic Zombie Movie Protagonist #378' and giving them something like machine gun.

...oh, and I guess the side mounted flamethrowers I just added to the main vehicle will also be handy. (x3)

Click to shrink...

Generic Zombie Movie Protagonist 378 is locked and loaded! ...With explosives.

------------

Red and Blue team's actions are delayed as you rapidly approach this turn's obstacles...

You hit the zombies head-on! The path made by That_Random_Guy's boulder has been closed by more zombies, but the overall numbers are reduced! Your plow knocks all zombies you hit head-on aside, right into the paths of the side-mounted flamethrowers! As you're approaching the end, and the zombies have begun to slow the vehicle down, Generic Zombie Move Protagonist 378 decides to heroically sacrifice himself for the team, throwing himself into the crowd with his explosives! The resulting blast clears a clean way for your vehicle to exit and carry on! Obstacle completely solved! +15.5 Units! You also hit the Reinforcement Powerup meant for the Blue Team! A friendly Replica Player spawns in on your team!

The Blue Team hits the Fake Player Fooling powerup with the properties of the normal powerup!

UH OH! IT LOOKS LIKE THE RED ROAD ROLLER HAS... WAIT, HANG ON HERE, THAT'S NOT RIGHT, LET'S SEE, IT'S...

OH MY! IN A BRILLIANT PLAY BY THE GREEN TEAM, IT SEEMS THE BLUE TEAM WILL BE EXPLODING INSTEAD!

Blue Team's vehicle explodes! All the machinery and defenses on it are destroyed! The Blue Replica Players barely manage to leap from the vehicle in time! The Red Replica Player already on the vehicle is caught in the blast and destroyed! All take 3,000 damage! One of the Blue Replica Players fails to launch themselves properly, and ends up a bloody pulp on the racetrack!

As the others float in the air, Red Team uses their actions to... levitate the Blue Replica Players safely towards their vehicle?

Valla: (Hope this works...)

Valla: Hey, Blue Replica Players! These Players are the REAL threat!

Valla: Just LOOK at what they did to you! Let's team up and take them down!

The Blue Replica Players agree! Red Team collects the Double Actions powerup, and of course Valla gets it - Valla will take 6 actions this turn! +21 Units to the Red Team!

The Red Team and the remnants of the Blue Team have merged!

IN A SHOCKING AND RARE TWIST, IT SEEMS THE RED AND BLUE TEAMS HAVE TEAMED UP TO DEFEAT THE GREEN TEAM! THE SITUATION TURNS AGAINST THEM ONCE MORE!

AND NOW, FOR THIS TURN'S DELIGHTFUL UPCOMING OBSTACLES!

RED TEAM FACES... NOTHING! THIS TURN.

GREEN TEAM FACES... AN ENTIRE MOUNTAIN!

Yup. Its an entire mountain, many miles tall. Also, there's no road on, around, or through it.

THIS IS REALLY DEVASTATING FOR GREEN TEAM! NO TEAM PRIOR TO THIS HAS MANAGED TO FACE THE MOUNTAIN OBSTACLE WITHOUT INSTANTLY LOSING THE GAME! WILL THEY MAKE A COMEBACK!?

That person behind you is catching up...

-----------

The ghostly Player apparition from before appears to be attempting to sway Red Team's Replica Truck! They're not doing much do to lacking power...

THE RACES:

-------------------------------------------------------------+++--------------------------- 62/100

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --/100

---------------------------?--------------------+++------------------------------------------ 42/100

RED TEAM:
Valla: 5,000/5,000 HP (countering ability!)
Replica Player: 4,500/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 1,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Replica Truck
Durability: 15,000 HP
Replica Engine: Fantastic Condition (+20 Units/turn)(Last-minute speed blast, +10 Distance units once!)
Autoturret: 2,750 HP, 3,000A (automatically fires at an enemy vehicle every turn)
Anti-Boarding Turret Array: 4,000 HP (boarding enemies take 3,000 damage)
Speed: +21 Units/turn

YOUR OBSTACLE: AN ENTIRE MOUNTAIN!

GREEN TEAM:
Eternalstruggle: 5,000/5,000 HP
ThatRandomGuy: 5,000/5,000 HP
Alastair Dragovich: 5,000/5,000 HP
Piono: 5,000/5,000 HP
The Nonexistent Tazz: 5,000/5,000 HP
CaptainNZZZ: 5,000/5,000 HP
General_Urist: 5,000/5,000 HP
GoldHero101: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Replica Truck
Durability: 6,000 HP
Speedy Improved Antigravity Big Rigs Engine: Perfect condition (+8 speed)(Modest damage resistance)(Clutch boost - get +5 units of distance once!)
Particle/Ray shield engine: Perfect condition (weak protection against environmental damage)(blocks 300 long-range damage)
Spoiler: 1,000 HP, allows for one emergency turn!
Spinning blades: Deals 2,000 damage to boarders!
Koopa Tower: 3,000 HP, Special: 2,000A long-range attack: 2/2
Bullet Time Field: Holds up to 3 attacks/attackers in place for a turn, granting increased reaction time!
Robot Cyclists: +.5 Units/turn!
Speed: +15.5 Units/turn

 

[Moniker]

Nothing for it. I enter the blue door.

Click to shrink...

Into the blue door.

The quiet watcher forces himself to remain calm as he lets go of his clothes before he examines each mirror as best as he can. The definition of Courage isn't the absence of fear, after all, but standing against it despite whatever happens next.

Click to shrink...

Overcoming the fear, you turn and stare at the mirrors head-on!

Your reflection shimmers for a moment, then the darkness disappears. It's... you. Just a normal mirror.

You suddenly feel a bit silly. Why were you ever afraid? With renewed self-confidence, you stride towards the next room.

Welp! Gotta go friends! I run into the blue door.

Click to shrink...

Blue door!

"Red door is second highest. That means something is above Flurple. There isn't a Nurple door. Durple is below Nurple and blue is not durple, and green is not (probablylowest). Since Blue and Green are either 1 level or 2 levels apart, a few possibilities for what the right choice is are:
Green can't be Smurple. Smurple has a 50% chance of being the thing above Flurple, more or less, which is to say, being the worst option. So, Green has a ~50% chance of having extra reason to not be the highest thing. if the scale goes:
? Smurple
? Flurple
? Nurple (EMPTY)
? Durple
? Burple
? ???
Then Smurple(top) must be an empty slot; Flurple is occupied, nurple is empty, and if there's a not-red in smurple something has to be in nurple.
So, either nothing is in the top, the top is the unknown possible rating, or the unknown rating is between flurple and nurple. So:
Smurple (empty) ???(something or empty)
Flurple (red) Flurple (red)
Nurple (empty) Smurple (something if ??? or blue if durple is green)
Durple (green?) ...ech, I'm doing a chart. the spaces aren't even formatting right. hold on..
Burple (blue?)
??? (green or blue)"
"Now, one might wonder Why I'm not feeling hurried about this."
"Your Imminent Adversary seems quite dangerous, this I grant. But you know what else?"
"They're not [PG]. They're not [V]. They're not [SR]. They're not even [N]!"
"They are [Anti-AG]. And one thing I'm not, haven't been, and likely never will be, is [AG]."
"I'm [N]. [N+2], technically, but that's not for hatred of the Godmodder. I rose through the ranks of Neutrality not through fighting, not through a principled stand against him, no."
"I rose through the ranks because I occasionally tested out if I was good at Godmodder attacks for fun, and then later on because I wanted to get some Godmodding energy for experiments. I went on, what, four sidequests of my own will? five? I gave the Godmodder two legendary weapons and then spent like a month arguing about a deal I made with him? Point is, I wasn't a typical [AG], nor [AG] to start with. I'm [N], and I won't accept any commitments that come with being [AG]. Come to think of it, why am I even here?"
"I'll tell you why! Outside is a deathtrap where I wouldn't get to act and my powers would slowly drain away with no or nearly no possibility of getting the power lock in time, because I'd have exactly none of the ingredients available. Because Outside of the Ruins I wouldn't be able to do much of anything. And because Outside the Ruins, I wouldn't have anything interesting to do, really do and not just narrate, until the end of reality."
"Inside the Ruins? Well, at least there's a logic puzzle. That's better then nothing, I guess."
"Oh, and [Anti-AG] entities can't target neutrals. I quote reality:"

"And I'm not AG, so I'm not the faction it wants to destroy, so it won't attack me."
At this point, I turn away from the figure and start scribbling combinations down on a piece of paper. Since doing that isn't an action, and I've got the time to think, I could open another box, but I respect the spirit of the challenge everyone else is facing. The hints we have now are all the hints anyone else would get, and the chalange would probably be trivial with every box opened. So. only this information, and what to do with my actions?
Simple. For the first action, [1x]I try to figure out the properties of Something, specifically using my player powers, vision, gravitational detection, free-association with probability magic, and a few other things to experimentally determine if it can do anything. For the Second,
[1x] I add some teleporter machines to my Second Body, since I only have two Something actions and therefore have an action to spare on boosting it up. Remember, the curse is only extreme item weakening, not nullity. Finally, for the third,
[1x] I set up a machine to render myself completely incapable of remembering or complaining about Something, and similarly incapable of looking under rocks in the future, if I don't figure out what Something is by the end of this round. Since Moniker had a Prophetic Dream about myself finding Something under a rock and then complaining about it some time(a few rounds but not many) before the Deleter started up, and I then signed a contract to make sure I can't complain about it unless it's worth/as useful as 8 CP or more, the only way to maintain the Temporal Stability of the universe and for his dream to be consistent is for me to, this turn, right now, find a use of/the properties of Something by the end of this round (and then complain about it.), which means I will succeed, hooray! Plus the universe will end soon so it kinda has to happen before then and stuff.





Chart I made:

Basicawow I messed up math bad there. ahem.
Basically, there are two cases listed here where a non-red Door is the worst door (because N comes after F and N is empty and blue-green need to be near so for blue or green ahead of red we need both 'free' doors there and since green can't be S there's only 2 such configurations of doors+levels.), and the rest of the time blue and green are just sorta better then red for sure basically.
blue can be better then green, when red isn't best, by 1, or 1, or 1, or 2, or 2, or 1, or 1, or 1, or 2, or 2, or 2... ok that's not how to word it, uh.
Most S can be anywhere and can't be green. so, when S is on the right, green is the worse choice if S is involved, but S can be on the left, but S only connects to D which is left so the gaps then are generally smaller anyway. DB connection has green worse and blue best, and DB is a constant arrangement. so, the combos with S in the last 3 tend to have green the worse choice ecept, like... one of them.
Without S involved, with ? involved, if ?... is, green is worse off in the first set, and the second set, and the third set, except some edge cases...
Basically, Green is More Commonly worse then blue and most/all of the equalizers require assuming the 6th urple, so its likely that the order of doors, in order of descending baddness, is:
Red,
Green,
Blue.
Green
but since there's an [Anti-AG] figure to avoid, splitting up is probably the right choice for the AG people. Myself, though, I'm not sure. do I want a bigger challenge or to finish faster? hm...
I'll decide once I see what blue is from other people going there, i guess.

Click to shrink...

You give a very nice speech about how the Anti-AG enemy can't attack you. It doesn't seem to care.

Something has some amount of gravity, some magical influence... I mean, really, you basically know everything you need to know about Something.

You can't create new items.

You decide to stay in the room, and wait to see what the others do.

Right seeing as I have no choice but to go forward due to big bad baddie over him, I bodily launch myself at the blue door to get away from the big bad baddie.

Click to shrink...

Blue door!

Action 1-3: welp, throwing caution to the wind, I go through the blue door

Click to shrink...

Blue door!

----------

Everyone hurriedly rushes to the Blue Door, totally ignoring the Red Door! Somebody grabs Cephalos Jr and drags him along, too!

??? cracks his knuckles, and flashes JOEbob a smile. Staying around? Not even attempting to deal with him? Big mistake.

Before JOEbob can blink or react, a knife is embedded in his heart! Quickly, he activates his emergency backup pocket dimension. He'll need to be off the field for a moment to rest... he'll rejoin the Players later! As he rests, he realizes... that Something is... really and truly... without a doubt...

...It's...

...something!

JOEbob eliminated!

-----------

Moving through the Blue Door, the five-man group finds themselves in a small dark room with only one thing in the middle... it's... a very, very creepy wooden dummy. It only has one thing on it... a tattered, old shirt reading "GODMODDER'S FRIEND". The room doesn't appear to have any exits. Or entrances. The one you used is definitely gone.

The creep vibes here are OFF THE CHARTS. You get the sense that only one thing will satisfy this dummy: You out-creeping it! Think of something more creepy, more unsettling than this horrific dummy!

-----------

The Quiet Watcher walks through the hallway into the next room. It seems to be a large, circular room stretching upwards, with no ceiling within your limited vision.

At the center of the room is a pedestal, dimly readable in the torchlight.

"ONE MUST TIE UP A LOOSE END TO PROCEED."

The Quiet Watcher thinks. Hmm. A loose end? Well, there's a few things... like that Tree of Lithium for the Heal Block. A few Books are scattered on the ground. The Quiet Watcher senses that they're Hint Books - spending a focused action, he could read one to get a hint on how to find the Tree of Lithium!

Embedded in the wall is a door. The door looks... well, really out of place. It's bright, glowing Magenta, and has glowing yellow signs posted nearby. "ENTER HERE! EASY WAY TO COMPLETE THE RUINS! PLAYERS COME QUICK!" Entering that door may be an option, as well.


LOOSE ENDS ROOM (DEPTH: 3)
Pedestal (You need to tie up a loose end!)
Hint Book
Hint Book
Hint Book

The quiet watcher: 5,000/5,000 HP

CREEPY DUMMY ROOM (DEPTH: 2)

Wooden Dummy (has shirt: GODMODDER'S FRIEND)

Karpinsky: 5,000/5,000 HP
Winkins: 5,000/5,000 HP
Ranger Strider: 5,000/5,000 HP
Cephalos Jr.: 5,000/5,000 HP
Bill Nye: 5,000/5,000 HP

OOC: Dead Players can still "cheer" the action of another Player in the same challenge they were in, boosting its power by one action.

 

[Moniker]

I stare into C'thun's eyes, and turn my eyes into eldritch abominations.

Click to shrink...

C'thun is a little creeped out. 35,000 damage!

Hey, isn't there a first-level spell that can let people see in darkness?

Well, there's also Starsight.

Nah, that's tapped out. But Darkvision certainly isn't.

Action 1: I give all friendly players Darkvision, letting them see in darkness.

Action 2: I punch the stronger Dark Infantryman in the face.

Action 3: Hey, Dark Generals! I'm the Dark Messenger, with a high-priority message. The ??? is the secret weapon of the defenders. If it reaches the battlefield, it will wipe out our offensive here. You need to send a group of Black Wolves to engage it and slow it down to buy enough time to wipe out the statue.

Click to shrink...

You give everyone Darkvision! Unfortunately, it turns out that "Darkvision" actually means "your vision is entirely dark", causing everyone to fall around blind! You quickly reverse the spell.

1,000 damage to the stronger Dark Infantryman!

The Dark Generals ignore you. They may not even possess the capacity to understand.

I use my posh english accent(not really it's horrible, soo horrible that it deals extra damage)
And bones of freaking destruction to tear through the enemy lines
Biltz them with my bones like a porcupine
Then i jump back
I use one of my abilities to create literal spikes of bone from the ground
And fill the trench with bones that disintegrate every entity it touches(for every entity that somehow survives the bones grow and split into smaller spikes and deals more damage by growing within them)

Then just stare at the damn enemy, then start to chuckle
I channel every evil bastard i know and all of my killing intent into that chuckle
Let them feel their deaths coming
Feel that tickle on their spines(this one doesn't let people go super saiyan, just fyi)
Lemme see how you bastards deal deal with this

Click to shrink...

1,500 damage to both enemy dark generals - they're too big and slow to get out of the way in time! +10% spikes to the trench!

3x: The MTF operative adds spikes in the shape of Gabriel's Horn to the trench. They have finite volume, so they're easy to create ex nihilo, but they have infinite surface area, so it's impossible for the... darkness... monsters... to avoid them!
"Yes, that's not how geometry works, but I don't think they know that."

Click to shrink...

+33% spikes to the trench! Whatever Gabriel's Horn is, it sounds dangerous enough to impale some foes.

Action 1:
I stick the second wall together with some melted marshmallows. Strangely, they have greater adhesive properties than gorilla glue.

Action 2:
I lay down some traffic spikes in the trench.

Action 3:
I take an impossibly sharp razor and slowly slice into C'thun's skin. Once I can get a good grip on it, I peel it up and tie it around his face like a ribbon. You know, if ribbons were made of eldritch flesh. With that done, I box him up and ship him off to the Path of Pain.

Click to shrink...

+11% progress to trench and second wall!

NOT THE PATH OF PAIN! C'thun screams, but its too late! He's headed for the Path of pain! C'thun dealt with!

(x1)I repair the Ancient Wall somewhat
(x1)I use the Teleporter
(x1)I begin repairing the Ancient Wall

Click to shrink...

+2,000 HP to the Ancient Wall!

Warp!

+10% repair to the Ancient Wall!

With more than a few worries, I bundle up all my actions into one and immediately set up obstacles for the Anti-AG. Walls so high they cannot be crossed, thick enough they cannot be destroyed normally. The labyrinth winds around the creature and ensures it must make many detours before arriving.

Click to shrink...

Anti-AG delayed by .6 turns! It won't be arriving for longer, now... far off, you can sense it moving through your obstacles with single-minded determination.

1. I rip the black wolf spine with telekinesis and throw it as hard as I can on a random enemy
2.

Click to shrink...

The Black Wolf is at The Darkness II, so you warp there with one action! 1,000 damage to the Black Wolf, and 1,000 damage to the Cyber Dragon! The Cyber Dragon bides...

x2 Action:
Eyowe swings an imaginary leg at C'thun's no-no. He then swings an actual leg at C'thun's other no-no.

x1 Action:
Eyowe reenacts that one Lion King scene with a 1000 HP Dark Infantryman, with Eyowe as Rafiki and the Dark Infantryman as Simba.

Yes, I'm talking about that one scene where Rafiki YEETed Simba off of a cliff.

Click to shrink...

C'thun is dead. Good thing too, C'thun's no-nos would kill you if you got close. But you know who isn't dead? The Dark Generals! 2,500 damage!

Dark Infantryman dramatically slain!

'Ah... Bugger.' I think to myself as even more enemies come to destroy the Power Generator. 'Okay we can't let them take out the generator at this time otherwise we are probably screwed.' I mentally note to myself as I eye my opponents. 'I don't have a good way of taking out more then one enemy at a time and a few of them I cannot kill in one hit due to being very tough. I'm going to need some help very soon.' I conclude to myself as I pick out a target.

Looking towards a Dark Archer I think I have an idea about how to get them close to me. Closing my eyes I make a quick wish. 'I wish for a portal to appear right under the Dark Archer so they will fall in and appear right next to me!'
Suddenly I see off in the distance as one of the Dark Archer is preparing to fire a arrow a flash of red light as a red portal opens up right under the Dark Archer and they slip and fall into it as their arrow goes flying off onto the darkness.

I then see a glow of red light appear above me a little to the left. Looking up I see the same Dark Archer fall from a portal that is in mid air and onto the ground. (1CP)

Quickly I pull out my combat knife from it's sheath and rush towards the Dark Archer but I am to slow and the Dark Archer has already recovered from their sudden unwanted teleportation and while kneeling they are able pull out a backup weapon that turns out to be a Mace.

I still attempt a over head stab at them but I am force to jump back as the Dark Archer performs a wide horizontal swing at me that would have caught me in the stomach if I had not broken off. 'Damn it!' I let out a growl as I switch to a ready stance while the Dark Archer quickly gets up and takes up a fighting stance with their mace and prepares to fight me.

The Dark Archer starts to slowly move to the left to try and get an angle on me and I likewise start moving to the right keeping perpendicular to them as we size each other up. 'Okay, due to the mace they have a advantage in reach, but I should have advantage in speed as the mace needs a moment to build power behind a swing while the knife needs only a quick thrust to cause injury.' I think to myself as I keep eyeing the Dark Archer.

After a few more moments past the Dark Archer rushes towards me with their mace already wind upped for a swing. As they close in I ready myself to dodge. Dark Archer with a silent yell swings their mace at me in a overhead swing and I dodge to their left and follow it up with a counter-strike with my knife aiming for the left side of the stomach area but they are able to quickly recover and jump away as my knife comes within centimeters of their skin. I quickly follow this up with another slash and a jab but I am only able to nick them both my attacks and not cause any real harm. The Dark Archer is able to retreat fast enough to get way from me a bit and perform a swing with their mace. I step back from the attack but not far enough and the mace collides with the blade of my knife which forces it out of my hand and clattering off into the darkness away from my sight.

'Shit!' I think to myself as I dodge the Dark Archer's back swing and they start pursuing me with their mace doing swing after swing in attempt to hit me. After a few more swings and misses I am able to back up enough that I have a moment to form another fighting stance. I don't have long as the Dark Archer quickly charges at me again with a single handed over head swing. I wait until they are at the apex of their swing to quickly launch myself at them and with one hand reach up and grab their wrist and with my other hand I grab them by the tricep on the same arm and I use their own momentum from their charge as I use their arm to control their movement and I force them into the ground face first.

As soon as they hit ground I kneel forward and place one of my knees onto their back as to keep them on the ground and I use my hold of their arm to force it behind their back and I start to twist it as to force them let go of the mace.
After a few moments of struggle I twist their wrist to the point that I hear an audible snap and the Dark Archer yells out in pain as their hand goes limp and the mace slips out of their hand. Without thinking twice I snatch the mace before it can even hit the ground and I quickly move my other hand to the back of the Dark Archer's neck to try and hold their head still.

Despite the pain that the Dark Archer is feeling they thrash and buck ferociously in an attempt to get me off of their back but I manage to hold on and I slam their mace down upon the back of their head, The first strike does not quite do it but the it dazes them and that allows me to bring the mace down again and again until they cease moving all together.

I pant out several breaths of air as I see the Dark Archer's body start to break down into nothingness and return to the darkness that spawned it. (2 CP)

'That was-' I gulp in another breath of air. 'Tough... Damn this reduced power. I was so used to being able to deal with enemies easier then this.' I think to myself as I eye the other enemies. 'I better call for some help, I'm not going to be able to hold the line here just by myself.' Pulling off my walkie talkie from my belt while keeping an eye on the other foes I speak into it. "Hey If any of you fellows can hear this I would really appreciate some back up in Darkness Zone 2, The enemy is going for the power generator that charging the lights. Probably nothing good will come of them destroying it. So if you can lend a hand or two I would be grateful." With that I finish speaking and I hope someone will come to assist me soon.

Click to shrink...

After an epic fight, the Dark Archer is slain! The fight is so epic that, eager to help its comrade, the other Dark Archer gets closer!

You send out a reminder to everyone that The Darkness II needs defenders, as well! If the generator falls, things on the main front are going to get significantly more difficult! Luckily, there's three people here now.

-----------

AG:

The Deprecated Robot stabs the Adamantium Golem, finishing it off! Phew...

V:

At the Darkness I, thankfully, the majority of the enemies have been eliminated! The Dark Infantryman attacks the Wall, dealing 1,000 damage (and dying from the trench)! The Dark Generals bring 2 new Black Wolves into being, immediately giving you more reinforcements to deal with! Just great.

For new enemies, you see another familiar one... the Bat Battalion! They have high attack power, so they're best dealt with quickly!

In addition a Dark Infantryman captain appears, along with another Dark Infantryman! He'll summon new Dark Infantrymen every turn! Deal with him sooner rather than later!

Whatever is back there continues to approach... they're closer than they were last turn, despite delays...

Over at THE DARKNESS II, the Cyber Dragon continues to Bide...

The Dark General brings in a new Black Wolf! The Black Wolf already on the field moves to attack, but... suddenly, they feel something... an orb of light! From that apparition again... Black Wolf slain! The nearby Dark General takes 1,000 damage!

The Dark Archer, now closer, shoots the Power Generator, dealing only 2,000 damage thanks to the Generator's shield! The Power Generator is in a bit of a rough spot. Remember, you can bodyguard with your own bodies, if you don't mind dying...

At the back, a Dark Creeper approaches quickly. It's a kamikaze enemy! It might be enough to finish off the generator if left alone!

----------

THE DARKNESS:

Endless Blackness (more enemies every turn!)

[Anti-AG]??? (1.1 turns away)

[V]Dark General: 8,500 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Dark General: 6,000 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Black Wolf: 3,000 HP, 2,000A
[V]Black Wolf: 3,000 HP, 2,000A

[V]Dark Infantryman Captain: 5,000 HP (summons a Dark Infantryman every turn!)
[V]Dark Infantryman: 2,000 HP, 1,000 x Infantrymen!A (attack multiplies by number of infantrymen alive on field)

[V]Bat Battalion: 8,000 HP, 6,000A

Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)
Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)
Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)

Ancient Trench: Ready! Deals 1,000 damage to attackers! Spike Upgrade: 54% complete!

Ancient Wall: 13,000/20,000 HP (protects everything)(x2 healing)
Ancient Wall: 11% repaired!

Ancient Forcefield Generator: Use once to completely protect Godmodder Statue!

[AG]Deprecated Robot: 3,000 HP, 1,000A (stronger if zombified)(can't be zombified by Players)(???)

[N]Godmodder Statue: 13,500 HP (DEFEND!)

Teleporter (Use one action to teleport to The Darkness II)

[AG]Crusher: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]ExoSkeletal: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]DragonOfHope: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Daskter: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Eyowe: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Gnich: 5,000/5,000 HP (next attack does triple damage, plus inflicts effects on nearby enemies!)(Protector Shield, protects from 2 attacks)
[AG]Strider: 5,000/5,000 HP

THE DARKNESS II:

[V]Black Creeper: 1,500 HP, 5,000A (kamikaze attack!)

[V]Cyber Dragon: 10,000/11,000 (uses bide)(stored damage: 2,000)

[V]Dark Archer: 2,000 HP, 4,000A

[V]Dark General: 9,000 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Black Wolf: 3,000 HP, 2,000A

Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)

Ancient Wall: 10% repaired!

Shield generator: Grants recharging 2,000 HP shield to Power generator!

Teleporter (Use one action to teleport to The Darkness)

[N]Power Generator: 8,000 + 2,000 HP (powering electric lights!)(protected from 1 attack)

[AG]Captain.cat: 5,000/5,000 HP (protected from 1 attack)
[AG]ParadoxDragonPaci: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]DanganMachin: 5,000/5,000 HP

 

[Moniker]

I take stock of the situation. Not looking good. I look to my team. In the span of a single look, we hatch a plot. I then sigh.

"I suppose I can't have everything." I turn back to our enemies, the Red Team, and cup my hands.

"HEY VALLA!" I cry out. "EAT SHIT!"

I then open with an entire minigun salvo of port-a-pottys on Valla. Naturally. She counters.

I then take another deep breath... and I breath a gout of fire fit to put the Dragons of the Fire Nation to shame! Valla counters.

Then I turn into a Boat and RAM Valla! She counters it!

I then throw a pebble at her face. Due to the Curse of Repetition, it does nothing, but it does get her to blink and think- 'Wait, that's a fourth Action. That isn't possible!'

Wanting to be free of the Action limitations, she pulls up my Action Summary Early, despite it not being around for a few turns.

=============================================================

Action Summary:

3 ACTION FOCUS + Bullet Time Field: Freeze Valla and her Actions for 1 turn.

=============================================================

I wink and give her the dual finger guns as she's effectively frozen by the Bullet Time Field. All of that was just a flavortext distraction to get her to not notice my real move.

"You know, you're pretty predictable for all of your rambling about being free," I say casually. "Your self-serving quest for power has bound you even more than any alliance, friendship, or relationship would. A fitting end to your rampage, I'd say."

Reason-you-suck-speech delivered and trap snapped shut, I slump backwards and cringe in visible pain.

It's not ignored or hidden this time. Anyone who cares to pay attention can see me coughing up conceptually corrosive Voidstuff.

"...I think I was in the Void at some point. Guess the Godmodder's Prison destroyed some memories when my MIND was hit during my stay." I finally put together. "Ah... Well, Reality first, death later."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Tragedy of Alastair Dragovich (Part 4)

Alastair's fight against Verraad the Godmodder wasn't short lived. For one thing, the Godmodder didn't see his 2,000 Charge Attack coming. For another, NO ONE saw his attack coming since he had charged it so far away from the fight, his Player Powers shouldn't have been a thing.

For another, the mandatory isekai adventure sidequest Verraad had to undergo due to getting hit by a 2,000 charge truck was time consuming. Time consuming enough for all of the Players that had been fighting him to clear out and dismantle his operations to the point that he held 50% less power than before he got hit.

Needless to say, the fight began in earnest. However, despite having dismantled half of his operation, the front was by no means united. Over 70% of the time the Godmodder was away, the players were fighting amongst themselves. Anytime Alastair saw someone summon a demon he went berserk and ended up attacking his own allies, making things more difficult.

By the time Verraad returned, things had fully devolved into incoherence. Naturally, Verraad was attacked upon his return, but too many people were tied up in their own personal stories or power trips. One by one, Verraad destroyed the power tripper's means of production. Alastair tried to stymie his efforts, but the revenge attacks sent his way proved to be too much to overcome.

By the time everyone was finished infighting, it was too late. The Godmodder had already killed all of the Entities. He proceeded to put his fist through Alastair's head, ending his life...

And transferring him into the Soul Orb. Disoriented and without any entities to protect him, the Soul Orb Godmodder continued his assault. Other Players, as they died, came in, but none of them offered to help. Partly because they used this time to build up their charge pools.

Partly because Alastair never asked for any help. In his eyes, perhaps rightfully, he was responsible for his own death, and the beatdown was just that train of Justice continuing. However, he still fought and healed and fought some more.

Until Verraad figured out his weakness. Verraad, during a feint, entered Alastair's memories and turned them against him. The sight of everything dying, of Reality being so thoroughly broken.... It reminded the Player of what he had been trying to forget.

When Verraad left his mind, Alastair was on his knees, eyes full of tears, the fight in him spent. Verraad ignobly put him out of his misery by slapping the Player in the face.

And so he ended up in the soul Jail. And when he finally fell asleep and the monsters came for his MIND...

He let them. And so he lost the memories of the time interim his first failure, and his entrapment in the soul jail.

And so he fell into a deep, deep Darkness of sleep. Soon, he forgot even the subconscious impulse to remove the corrosive Nothing, just before it was fully purged. It took a long, long time for it to build back up and do proper damage...

But now, like the guilt and shame that ate away at him, the nothing hollows out Alastair Dragovich. And his odds are not good on surviving it now.

Click to shrink...

Valla COUNTERS, deflecting the attacks you send at her back in your face! 1,000 damage to you! However, too late, she realizes that that was the whole point... 3 of Valla's actions burnt!

Valla: Damn you, Alastair...

Valla: Well! At least nobody else should attempt to waste my time!

"Hmm. Combo attack?" ES mused. "Well, the nameplate is switched but this is still a road roller. May as well make good on the reference." A red-dressed and rather regal figure shimmers into existence behind him for those who know how to look. "Haven't gotten to use the Queen of Hearts yet, it being supposedly useless, but with a specific enough environment nothing is useless."

"Shouldn't it be Poker Face?" Amelia asks.

ES just wiggles his hand in reply. "Either works, but it's clearly meant to be a Queen of Hearts, just look at it."

"It may be dressed like that, but it also has an expressionless mask for a face." Amelia points out, prompting a shrug in reply.

"Well whatever the case, I have a plan. Now, watch this."

Standocalypse Act 1: Queen of Hearts

With a snap of his fingers, ES summons a Duel Monsters duellist. As he's currently on a red road roller, he shall represent Red Team. His opponent is wearing yellow right now, so shall represent Yellow Team. The loser of the duel shall take the final monster attack to their relevant item, where Red Team is represented by their vehicle and Yellow Team is represented by that mountain over there.

Because his opponent is using weak anime strats and ES is using a slightly illegal Tier 0 deck, he naturally has his opponent on their last few hundred life points within a few turns, with a fully armed and operational Dark Armed Dragon on the loose. The opponent has one last turn to draw a card, and the only possible card he can draw that would let him not immediately lose next turn is the final piece of the Forbidden One, which of course they do.

Heart of the Cards nothing, the power of an Enemy Stand shall not be denied! ES shall lose this card game, and lose it he does!

As per agreement, Exodia attacks Red Team: I.E, the Replica Truck. As that is the vehicle ES meant, and was the vehicle intended when he wrote down that intent matters on the magically binding contract, there's no way around it. Naturally, the Replica Truck getting Exodia'd does very bad no good things to its durability.

Click to shrink...

In the name of confision, Exodia moves at the Red Team's Replica Truck! Valla appears to be getting ready to counter, but she can't yet because this is only the first part of a greater whole!

Valla: Wait until they unleash the whole thing... then shut it all down at once!

"ALRIGHTY! I'LL TAKE THINGS FROM HERE ETERNAL!"

3 ACTION FOCUS - STANDOCALYPSE ACT 2:
Leo: My turn? Finally? OH BOY! I'll abuse those weaknesses!
Blake: Don't forget me!
Drago: And me!
Let's get em guys! All-Out attack commences on the Red Team alongside my bros (who may as WELL be stands), and I leave behind a little pressie for the next person to use, a bomb rigged right to the Red Team's vehicle. "Whomever is next, use that well, make the Red Team DIE!"

Click to shrink...

CHAIN! That's 6 actions, now!

3 ACTION FOCUS - STANDOCALYPSE ACT 3: LET US BRIEFLY DISCUSS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH VALLA AND ALSO THINGS EXPLODE VIOLENTLY.

Leah watches her teammates go on as the Blue team is dismantled and then recombined into Red Team, and her team-. Wait, wait, wait! The Red Team was just joined by the Blue Team, turning One Team into Two Teams. Red Team, Blue Team, One Team, Two Team. Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Two Fish. A Dr. Seuss rhyme. From beyond space and time, the man himself tips his metahporical hat in Leah's direction, allowing her to go just a little bit slightly more ham on a particular Red Fish. Wait-no. There aren't any Red Fishes. That is, ironically and paradoxically, a Red Herring. There is a Red Fish. There is no Red Fish. There is the simultaneous absence and presence of a Red Fish.

Leah casually ignores the inexplicable, having abandoned logic for this. She spies the Red Team's fresh new problem, a bomb from Goldstar, and figures that even with Alastair's efforts, there might be some complications with getting it to go off. Why not emblazon those efforts while ensuring its detonation in an overly vicious manner? Leah prepares her lungs. "Valla!"

Valla may look, or may not look. She is not obligated to look per her freedom to look or not look at things. However, she is not free of the choice, and as one might realize, in order to free herself from hearing Leah, she'd have to consign herself to temporary deafness. To look is to bind thyself to looking and bind thyself away from not looking, and vice-versa. For each freedom there is a binding. Valla may be cognizant of this. More likely than not she is not, but the most likely course of action in the unsubtly binary choice she has just implicitly been given is to do neither of these things as she's timelocked by Alastair and thus had her freedom invalidated a long time before this attack came into play, relatively speaking. There was not a choice. There was not a freedom, only the apparent, baseless illusion thereof.

If this confuses you then you should probably just stop reading, but given the person who has to read this also has to read through JOEBob's posts... Can't be that bad right?

"Valla. I want to play a game. You're my opponent."

Valla is currently in a timestop. She cannot really respond to this in any way but in the mind. She can oblige the stupid request and maybe in the process have some transient freedom to screw shit up, or she can ignore the obligation and binding to not play and therefore keep... Her binding in a time bubble. Either way her freedoms are horrifically infringed, and either way the aformentioned timestop makes her choice irrelevant. Leah is in control and to any casual observer with a passing knowledge of the mechanics of Destroy the Godmodder, Defeat the Godmodder and all like games, Leah's control shall remain until the Man without a Moniker but Moniker itself shall deem otherwise, maybe.

Leah releases Valla from the time-trap, kind-of-sort-of, in a not really way. It is more accurate to say that Leah has 'trapped' herself in the time field and Valla is now cognizant of the timestop. Valla's immedaite attempts to counter this are parried by the fact that she's not countering anything at all and cannot counter in the middle of a post, she's not a Writer or an Author or a Scribe or anything nearly as vaunted as that, she would never bind herself to a title or an occupation as that is against her code, but it has now failed her as even if the Moniker'd Man were to declare otherwise, it would be on his time, with his text, and not Valla's, and until such a time it is Leah who's text is here, or more accurately Tazz's text, who represents Leah, and thus implicitly is her text-but only implicitly, as it is still Tazz's text, loaned. Such it is for Valla. Like her player powers that she has decided that she would rather lock to herself as if it were hers. Har har har. In any case, Valla cannot counter Leah's insertion into the situation because Valla hasn't been acted upon, nor anything else, and in any case she's still time stopped mechanically, just no longer completely. If you would-it is her Player Powers that are still hopelessly trapped, but the cognizance bound to them is untrapped enough to whatever extent Leah desires for now.

If you would-Valla is, like it or not, Leah's hopeless prisoner for the duration of this attack and Valla will bloody swallow that pill even if its the size of Michigan. Michigan is a lot bigger than the impending mountain.

"We are playing a game," Leah states. "Magic. Nerd game but I have some fledgling knowledge. I don't know what's in this deck, you don't either, even footing. Draw."

Valla weighs the options internally. She could play-

"You will play."

-and she does play, end of discussion. Leah and Valla shuffle their decks. Valla is probably screaming in sheer agony at this, but Leah's voice does not raise itself, merely stresses and stretches a few syllables to the intended effect of understanding that Valla's freedoms have been rescinded of her, and in the absense of the (admittently quite shallow) definitions that Moniker has given her character in agency of the game that is being played, that being 'DefTG,' she really fails to have much of anything else at all other than pink text and a name, and for the moment, a hand of seven cards. Her deck is mono-red, judging from the... Seven mountains. Ew. That is just objectively an awful hand.

"... You're pissed at me, plain as day. Alastair's gotten you pretty good but I'm just making you suffer. Flashing it right in your face, your freedom, like it was a cheap toy, because it is. Freedom, freedom, freedom... Red cards in MTG represent freedom, among other things. Creativity, passions, emotions, that sort. I suppose that fits you perfectly, being a Player and all. Players have Freedom. Lots of it. I guess that's why you felt so lucky being one?"

Valla objects to this on every level but can't even open her mouth. It is blatantly obvious that she would. Basically any attempt to 'game' her is meant to end poorly according to Moniker so that's how it'll be, especially since she's effectively rallied the entirety of the enemy forces against the Green Team. She does not, in accordance to wisdom, mulligan the deck, either-whatever forces Leah is channeling here demand Valla play a hand of nothing but basic lands even though a mulligan is completely legal, and for that matter, all regardless of the fact that Valla has no real desire to play along with Leah, no real desire to be timestopped, and probably has no real desire dealing with any of this at all and not just getting her stupid power lock and getting it out of the way if not for these meddlesome morons, but no, no no, no no no, no. None of that. It's all right out.

"I'll roll for you, then myself," Leah says, rolling a D20 marked with a fist as the 20. The first roll runs up a 9, the second a 5. Valla has won the roll and the right to decide if she would go first or not. Strategically speaking, Valla would rather try to draw first for the hope her eighth card isn't a land-ap. nope. there she goes, just playing a Mountain as if she decided to go first, and her fist taps the table, gesturing to Leah to play.

"Nothing to untap, I draw... I'll stop a bit here. I'm not quite sure I'll ever be able to 'get' you, Valla. Hardly for lack of trying, but quite frankly your "Freedom" is, just, completely alien. I don't even get it. Freedom from everything? Freedom's good, don't get me wrong. Freedom from tyrrany, from people lording over your life, from those who'd rule your fate and decide your life for you... Freedom from those guys like Verraad. That I get. But that isn't what you're seeking, that's just... Salvation, at this point. Salvation for a lot more people than you. A goal, a cause, a thing to fight for. You wouldn't bind yourself to that, though-to the people who could've seen that small goal to reality. For you, you planted your flag deep, uh, and basically said 'screw that,' and you said that absolute freedom from everything-from any goal, cause, nation, viewpoint, or idea-it was that or bust. Disregarding how that itself is a hell of a tether... Uh, right. I'll play an island, pass, to you."

Is this what Leah's going to do? Just rant at Valla? Yes. But Valla can't rant back at how stupid that is. Why? It's not her round. Until Moniker says so there isn't any say for her, and she's stuck with the knowledge that in the here and now, as opposed to the disjointed time of forum update schedules, she's just a small fry who can't get anything done without the one Arbiter left. The one Arbiter left... Leah's eyes visibly close in contemplation as Valla draws... Another Mountain. Wonderful. Exactly what she needed. (Not.) She plays another Mountain and passes, that's it. Her hand is garbage. She can almost smell something nasty from it if she could move her nostrils-did Leah make these cards literally stink? Good grief.

"No untaps, I draw, cue the Plains," Leah says, sliding a white land to accompany the blue land. Oh god, a white-blue deck, AKA "The Opponent May Stop Playing Now." This is exactly what Valla wants to see (not). "Er, back to topic. You don't want to work with anyone-Freedom from companions, friends, allies, accomplices, and thus a tether to isolation because 'freedom.' I'll be honest I would try to go on but I can't even grasp what other paradoxical nonsense you'd yap at me, which is partially why you can't speak right now. There are other reasons why you are prohibited from speaking, but the biggest is to make a point. Binds have power. Limiting oneself in some ways opens avenues in others. We're limited beings by default. The only way I can cognize your desires is power-unbound power. Free from all limits and free from all sources, a power that's your own. And thus you want a power lock-to bind the power of God to yourself and yourself alone, free, free, free. Free free free free free free free free free. Way I see it, its more like that you've built a whole big-ass prison around yourself and declared everyone else the prisoner, and then gatekeep the gates if anyone were to look inside and wonder 'god, should I help this poor woman?' I bet you don't even want to be called anything other than Valla. Freedom from gender pronouns. Bullshit. It's all bullshit. Uh, no moves from me, go ahead."

Freedom. Absense of Freedom. An Ideological rant. Hell. Valla has died and gone to hell, which still exists even if management is very bad right now. Better than Evuacorp, but that's not really anything to talk about now, as Valla isn't actually dead and gone to hell where she might be free to pursue being tortured by angry devils. She draws, great, another mountain. She wonders if Leah's hand is any better, before concluding it has to be automatically, diresgarding the lack of turn two. Mountain, pass. Against her will. She'd really rather be-

"Anywhere but here yadda yadda yadda yadda whatever. Enjoy the words in your mouth. Here's a lesson. You axed every binding from yourself and all you want is power-mana, by the card game's rules, is power. Power equals power. Mana equals Mana. Mana equals power in MTG. Whatever. That mana, right there, in three mountains. Three big ol blots of big red energy which you can't spend on a single creature or sorcery or enchantment or artifact or anything like that, because that is quite clearly a deck consisting entirely of lands and only lands. Only power. And no leverage. Leverage! Any big mob boss type could tell you leverage is what you need. Can't get leverage without rubbing backs, without sacrifice, in this case sacrificing the delusion that you're after freedom and only after power, an ultiamte power of sorts, freed of all restrictions of anything, even the restrictions on the mind Godmodding usually imposes. But sacrifice-to get what you want-you think you've made all the sacrifices, or rather that there's nothing to sacrifice at all because you're free from that. Freedom from all things. Free from friends, free from bonds, free from eating, breathing, thinking, and soon enough existing because you haven't read the news and the wake up call that Verraad-who for all his faults and stupidity has at least the damn drive to go out and do all of this horrific madness with his incredibly evil, corruptive power-is honestly just the bigger concern over your self-serving, ignorant, stupid freedom. Freedom from everything, including anything you could possibly want, including exactly what you want, because you're just stuck up your own ass hard enough. All freedom? All the time? No. Not this time."

"I draw. I play Arixmethes, Slumbering Isle."

Leah slaps down a 4-Mana 12/12, the aformentioned Arixmethes. It, nominally, requires a green and a blue mana plus two more to play, and then requires an additional five sleep counters to be put upon it when it reaches play, which are then tediously removed via casting spells before it can be used as anything other than a fancy land, albeit one that can give two mana of two different colors. Of course, once its awake, its a 12/12, and that'll be painful. But, wait-Leah hasn't bothered with the sleep counters. She also doesn't have a Forest to tap for green mana. And hasn't tapped the blue mana, or any mana at all. Also the card's text has been altered, with Player power so it looks indistinguishable from the real deal-its now a 500/500 for no mana at all with Haste, Indestructible, Hexproof, immunity to Blocking, and 'if this creature attacks, win the game.'

This isn't just regular cheating, this isn't even advanced cheating, the spongebob reference flying right out from how much cheat was just packed into that cheat. No. This is going above and beyond cheating and goes straight up to something that is still cheating but probably needs a new name that doesnt' even contain the word 'cheating' at all. In fact, it ascends even that theoretical realm, ollies outy into the sun, and lands in a pile of steaming hot bullshit.

"Oh, and I play an ox."

She taps a plains and plays a 0/4 Yoked Ox.

"This is nothing short of torture for you at this point. I wanted to play a game, but this is what playing a game with you is like-from the other side. Its unreasonable, stupid, and generally only has one outcome, that being 'whatever prevents me from having to deal with it.' Its lazy, dumb, its, its just infuriating. Rebuffing everything. Rather irritating, but it relies upon you playing by your 'rules.' Well, buddy, I don't have to play by your rules, if you can even swallow your dumb pride enough to call it that, or acknowledge your pride, or acknowledge that this 'freedom' gimmick is just that, a poorly thought-out gimmick that you've bought like a chump, or however many hoops you want me to walk through before I pound it into your head that you chose, this, you bound yourself to this, and far from freeing yourself you're taking the narrow, confined, trapped path of some horrific combination of a tyrant wannabe and a fool that I can't even believe exists, and you're suffering the final consequence, the inevitable outcome, the one you bound yourself to with molecular strength. That is to say, in neglecting every possible tool to get your prize but your precious player powers, that I hope to the God-that-was to go away forever after all of this, for everyone, you kind of... No. Not 'kind of.' You ruined yourself! And ruined everyone around you. You're surprised at all of this, I bet, but really, this is just the last part of a long, long fall. This is the part where your hopes and dreams fucking die!"

Nothing. A solid second of nothing. It almost feels wrong to comment upon it.

"I win, quite obviously," Leah says, chucking the player-power generated table and the player-power generated fake magic cards into a player-power generated incinerator that burns on player-power generated fire to player-power away everything and then harmlessly implode into a cube. "Because 'winning' obviously means that the bomb over there is going to go off with like a gazillion times more force than normal, you are "free" to stay right there, and watch hopelessly as the bomb goes off, detonates like a nuke, and somehow leaves a perfect trail of shrapnel that cuts into the base of the mountain, shaped suspiciously like a golf club. And, then, afterwards, to get slapped. By me."

And thus it is so. Leah's victory causes an incalculable multiplication of force within Goldstar's bomb, causing it to go off with like a gazillion times more force than normal. Valla watches hopelessly as the bomb goes off, detonating like a nuke, and somehow leaving a perfect trail of shrapnel that cuts into the base of the mountain, the last single bit shaped suspiciously like a golf club. The Red Team's vehicle-and not even Valla-was the attacks target, and it shall take the full wrath of this segment of the combination attack.

And then the Red Team Replica Truck rams directly into the aforementioned Red Fish and simultaneous absence of a Red Fish. This shocking Chekhov's gun is shocking and probably some kind of freaky opening on top of the golf club thing. Does this attack have anything to do with stands? Well. Uh. No. Deal with it.

"Piono, blow that stupid truck to hell!"

Click to shrink...

You finish your lecture to Valla. Additional force is added to GoldHero's bomb! There's 9 actions and a whole bundle of creativity, now!

Valla: Hmm? What was that?

You see something in the corner of Valla's eye. A little head-mounted video player.

Valla: Sorry, I got really into this one youtube video.

Valla: I didn't really hear you. Could you, uh, repeat that?

Valla flashes you a smile... but it wavers.

Valla's last 3 countering actions wasted!

"Roger!"

Piono pulls an enormous gun out of his inventory. Ultimatum. The only of Piono's giant super weapons that wasn't totally obliterated back in the Bank of Actions. He hefts it up over his shoulder, and sets it down on a pedestal on Green Team's Replica Truck. This is a secret surprise item, it'll be helpful for later.
Having done that he jumps off the truck.
Wait what.

Piono backflips off of the truck and winks at Valla as he suddenly plants his foot down on a cushion of air and rockets forwards ahead of Green Team's vehicle. Soaring forwards right up until he hits the mountain. Or rather, close by the mountain. One of the pieces of shrapnel from Leah's attack looked like a golf club. It turns out, it IS a golf club. But it's so much more than that.
Piono skids to a stop on the side of the mountain, holding up the Golf Club.
"You know, this mountain would be a lot more intimidating if I hadn't already dealt with far worse in the past."

Piono raises the club up into the air, and begins to grow in size. Piono growing taller and taller until he's the size of a giant, and the golf club in his hand no longer an ordinary golf club but a giant hammer made of rock and crystal.
"Do you remember that time I picked up a mountain and smashed it down on the Godmodder's head for a sub-segment of a larger attack? I do.
Interestingly enough, back when I pulled off that particular feat, I also did something a lot bigger: I shattered the ground of the Hexagonafield. Causing millions of years of tectonic movement across trillions of miles of area all in just a few seconds."
He hefts the golf-hammer in his hands.
"I think a mudpile like this isn't such a big issue. FORE!"
He swings the hammer.

With a mighty shockwave as the hammer swings through the air in a smooth, magnificent arc the mountain begins to tremble even before Piono hits it, and once he does...
A mighty, cracking BOOM shudders the entire track, as the mountain sails up into the air. Away from Green team's track... and right for Red team's truck. Red Team can only look on in horror as the massive mountain, and the enormous fountains of debris come sailing towards them.

Piono lands lightly back on the Green Team's Truck.
"That was fun."
He looks over at Ultimatum, still mounted on its podium and waiting to be used in some manner other than its intended usage. He waves the next player in the chain over to it.
"Alright, so all you need to know is pull the trigger and everything in the general direction in front of it will die. Be careful about recoil. That's it, have fun."


...wait what about the fish from Leah's action?
Well it turns out they were just a red herring.
The awfulness of the pun deals further damage to the truck.


Entity orders: the replica player will attempt to accelerate the koopa tower into attacking early so that its full 2000 damage happens before Red Team gets to act. If Red Team has already been disrupted, the replica player will attempt to slow down the mysterious figure that's currently following us.

Click to shrink...

The Red Replica Player will do as you say!

The entire mountain is lifted up, and sent soaring! Granted, you still have a giant portion of missing track where the mountain was, so you can expect a bumpy ride. However, Valla's eyes widen as an entire mountain comes hurtling towards their vehicle...

Oh, hello Replica Truck! I see you're enjoying all the joys of being hit with a Player combo. Now, now, don't worry about me adding onto the chain. I simply don't have the time for that.

...fortunately, I do have the time to attack by myself. So, dear Replica Truck of the Red Team, I have a gift for you!

As seen here, I'm currently holding a king bed sized spear. Its golden exterior swimmers in the sunlight, a blinding reflection that almost hides the rocket thrusters strapped onto the back of the spear. The blood red blade has been folded folded one trillion times, crafted with careful replication of the Japanese metallurgy techniques.

What I do with the spear should be pretty obvious.

Conjuring up steel boulders before me, I wield the spear as a rocket boosted bat and launch the masses of steel right at the Red Team's vehicle. The hypersonic speeds quickly transform the steel boulders into balls of molten steel that fly through the air with shocking accuracy to nail the Red Team's vehicle despite the distance.

Have fun with that Red Team's Replica Truck! (x3)

Click to shrink...

Balls of molten steel soar through the air! Not just a mountain, or balls of steel, but both a mountain AND balls of steel? Valla's team is feeling pretty oppressed and discriminated against right now.

FOCUS

Time to finish off the Truck, through the final portion of this combo attack.

The anonymous figure picks up the Ultimatum. They heft it. They brace themselves, with the help of a lot of structural steel. Then the Ultimatum fires its latest ammunition: Hammers!

Big, small, comical, nasty, spiked, bouncy, firey, iced, explosive, implosive, heavy, and, most importantly, every single one is a ROCKET HAMMER!!11!!!1

That means that everyone has some form of rocket like propulsive device attached to the handle and head, enabling extra impact power on top of the 'basic' capability of the Ultimatum.

Did I mention most of them self-duplicate just before impact? (And the ones that don't contain stuff like antimatter, rust inducer, or even The Godmodders Smelliest Socks !!!!!!1!) (Don't ask me where those came from.)

Some pop the tires and some crack the axles and there are others that do such things as smash glass, invert joints, crack engines, cause fuel to explode, and, most importantly, RUIN the DELICIOUS SNACKS in the MINIFRIDGE!!!1!!! (That last one has next to no actual effect, as Valla has been distracted and the Replica players can't exactly interrupt. Except for the wave of sorrow that makes many of the nuts in the Truck crumble out of sympathy.)

This continues. And continues. And continues. At more then one point the mountain becomes a hammerhead, in the tool part sense and in the shark sense. Meanwhile, the structural bracing breaks down, and as per the principals of action and reaction, as seen in a certain xkcd what-if, I take to the skies. With a bit of effort, I stablize, with the help of a few temporary self-duplicates.

Soon, there is more hammer then Truck, at least while my Descendancy reality alteration field persists.

Then, the hammer-wreckage dwarves the Mountain itself.

Then, for the finalee, I surge forth my powers one last time.

In the last moments before the Ultimatum runs out, I reverse my aim roofward, and aim my fist down.

Through the impact, I channel a grand twist of my influence. Perhaps 1% of the area is Truck instead of Hammer, which naturally should be rounded down to 0%. (I, of course, am MC Hammer.) Then, from that very energy expenditure, my action-power runs out, and all the hammers disintegrate. (Except me. This isn't a Mortal Action, after all.)

Click to shrink...

H A M M E R

These actions will take effect at the end of the turn!

Welp, looks like the combo attack is concluded. Might as well focus on the usual task: GOTTA GO FAST:

3 actions: I construct a large numbers of hamster wheels (or hedgehog wheels, is there such a thing???), and attach them to the Road Roller's drivetrain. I then summon an equal number of miniature Sonic the Hedgehog 'clones'. They aren't really clones, since they have almost no mental functions. But they do have the instinct to run SANIC FAST. I place the mini-sonics inside the wheels I constructed, in hopes of giving us a large speed boost.

Click to shrink...

+3 units of speed/turn!

------------

It was too late to do anything. As soon as Valla lost her actions, Red team's Replica Truck didn't stand a chance. Exodia! A mountain! Hammers! Explosions! REALLY LONG BREAKING SPEECHES! With Valla's vehicle having much less long-distance attack protection than Blue Team's vehicle, there's only one possible outcome: COMPLETE DESTRUCTION! The Koopa Tower, accelerated by your new friend, Replica Player, adds JUST enough damage to be the coup de grace!

15,000 damage to the Red Replica Truck!

Red Replica Truck destroyed!

Valla: Get off of it! Now!

The engine, heavily damaged, is running down fast in the warped hunk of metal that was the Replica Truck! Three Replica Players scoop everyone up in giant hands, and hurl themselves and the entire Red Team to the side as the Red Replica Truck slows down, and eventually catches fire.

Valla: Ugh... well, that was...

The Red Replica Truck then explodes.

Valla: ...

Valla: I have a new plan.

Valla: Wait to use your actions for now, my minions...

----------

AND IT SEEMS RED TEAM'S TRUCK HAS BEEN DESTROYED!

WITH NO INTACT VEHICLE, IT IS NOW IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM TO WIN THE RACE BY REACHING THE FINISH LINE. HOWEVER!

RED TEAM MAY STILL CLAIM VICTORY BY COMPLETELY ELIMINATING THE PLAYERS ON OTHER TEAMS! CAN THEY DO IT??

WITH ONLY ONE TEAM LEFT, GREEN TEAM IS NOW APPROACHING THE MOUNTAIN! THE PREVIOUS GOLFING GAME DID NOT CLEANLY SEPARATE IT FROM THE GROUND, AND SO NOW IT SEEMS THEY'RE IN FOR A ROUGH TIME...

+18.5 Units!

You approach the point where the mountain was! Immediately, you're forced onto a big hill! There's no track here, and the ground isn't straight at all! Your vehicle isn't built for offroading, and everyone clings for dear life as the vehicle is jostled around!

4,000 damage to your Replica Truck! The engine is taking a real beating!

Suddenly, you feel an unusual sense of heat coming from the engine... and smoke! Wait! That's not right!

Immediately, somebody uses the emergency fire extinguisher you equipped on the vehicle earlier, but without action power, it isn't doing much! The engine catches fire! There's no way you can carry on! You're dead in the water!

Surrounded by giant mounds of stone, and without a working engine, you then look up to find your current position surrounded by Red Team operatives!

Valla: Excellent work, you two with the heat. And same for those of you over there, with the speed potions.

Valla: Now, Replica Players... we outnumber them!

Valla: Green team shall be destroyed here! TAKE THEM OUT!

ITS THE FINAL CONFRONTATION! THE FINAL SHOWDOWN! WHO WILL WIN?? RED TEAM, OR LOSER TEAM??

THERE ARE NO OBSTACLES THIS TURN! WE WOULDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT THIS FIGHT!

-----------

If you can get your engine repaired, you can get the vehicle moving again and try to escape to the finish line! But if the Red Team's Replica Players can be defeated here...

Valla fully intends to use her countering powers to nope your attacks. Watch out! Your bullet time field is aflame, too... put out the fire on that thing to give yourself an advantage!


THE RACES:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --/100

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --/100

---------------------------------------------------?--------------+++------------------ 61/100


RED TEAM:
Valla: 5,000/5,000 HP (countering ability!)
Replica Player: 4,500/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP

GREEN TEAM:
Eternalstruggle: 5,000/5,000 HP
ThatRandomGuy: 5,000/5,000 HP
Alastair Dragovich: 4,000/5,000 HP
Piono: 5,000/5,000 HP
The Nonexistent Tazz: 5,000/5,000 HP
CaptainNZZZ: 5,000/5,000 HP
General_Urist: 5,000/5,000 HP
GoldHero101: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Replica Truck
Durability: 2,000 HP
Speedy Improved Antigravity Big Rigs Engine: Moderate condition (+4 speed)(Modest damage resistance)(Clutch boost - get +5 units of distance once!)(on fire! Needs to be put out to make vehicle move again!)
Particle/Ray shield engine: Perfect condition (weak protection against environmental damage)(blocks 300 long-range damage)
Spoiler: 1,000 HP, allows for one emergency turn!
Spinning blades: Deals 2,000 damage to boarders!
Koopa Tower: 3,000 HP, Special: 2,000A long-range attack: 0/2
Bullet Time Field: Holds up to 3 attacks/attackers in place for a turn, granting increased reaction time! (On fire! Can't block attacks until put out!)
Robot Cyclists w/sanic-powered wheelios: +3.5 Units/turn!
Speed: +14.5 Units/turn

 

[Moniker]

We have to creep out the creepy dummy, huh?

I give it a hug. Because who in their right mind would hug the creepy dummy?

Click to shrink...

You hug the creepy dummy.

It feels nice and squeezy.

The quiet watcher flips off the clearly worthless (for now) magenta door before looking at the hint books, as the only easy way to handle the ruins would be to turn back or die, neither of which were options he could accept. He then picks up the third hint book and Reads it fully.

Click to shrink...

The magenta door is unfazed. One flip-off will not change it.

You grab the third hint book.

The Tree of Lithium is located in the past, at the physical location the Players already discovered it earlier. Finding it is mostly a matter of discovering it, and then pointing out to everyone both that you have found it and where it is.

I change the dummy's shirt to read Godmodder's foe. After all, our comrades in our war against the Godmodder are never creepy! We have worked with extradimensional horrors! Great guys! Need to gert around to that poker game...

Click to shrink...

Creepy Dummy is now less creepy and thus easier to creep out!

I chose to respawn in the room the Quiet Watcher is in as discussed on discord.
[1x] Well, it doesn't say to do the Tree specifically, right? And Something is a loose end, so if I can figure out what it is, I can put it on the pedestal. ok, but, hear me out here... what if Something exists Only to be a loose end for this quest? Of course, I haven't figured out what Something does. But I don't have to! My third action last round already tidied up the loose thread that was Something. Something was a loose thread because it was determined by prophetic dream that I would complain about it, and I had rendered myself incapable of doing so without it being of genuine value. So, it was a lose thread until just now, because until now, I was capable of doing so.
But, last round, I rendered myself incapable of complaining about it full stop unless I figured out what it did. And I didn't, until After the round, while writing this post- and of course I'm not entirely sure until i find out it succeeds.- So now I'm simply incapable of complaining about it. Which makes the Something loose thread tied up, because it cannot progress from here.
Something is now a Temporal Paradox. And Something.
And a tied up loose thread.
[1x] I deal with the Temporal Guardian's inevitable arrival by explaining that it is too late. Since he didn't show up last round, I'm already incapable of complaining. So, he can't deal with this paradox.
...Hey, while he's here, would he care to help out with the Ruins thing? yeah? no?
Note: making it a paradox or whatever is perfectly possible because, despite lowering player power, I'm not causing a paradox directly. the paradox itself is due to stuff moniker said, and I've just rendered it impossible.
[1x] I stick a band-aid on my forehead, causing it to gradually regenerate my health over time. This is how bandaids work. in fact, I once asked a doctor if bandaids on non-wounded areas will not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not speed up healing, and after mentally counting the number of nots incorrectly, they said yes!

Click to shrink...

You explain very clearly why your shenanigans with Something should count.

And yet, it doesn't. Nothing happens.

Why?

Simple.

For some reason.

+1,000 HP, not not not not for only one turn. Note that everything in these rooms can be expected to do either 4,999 damage or 5,000 damage.

Action 1-3: out-creeping it huh... alright then. I take a knife, and a baby, and I [censored]. it was so bad that the system can't handle what I did.

Click to shrink...

The creepy dummy tilts backwards. You sense some shock. But, hmm... shock value alone doth not make for great creepiness.

--------

In the Loose Ends Room, all is quiet... except for faint game-show type music from behind the magenta door.

The Creepy Dummy Room continues to stare from within its own room. Its creepiness has been weakened... a nice, solid, reliable burst of creepiness should do it in!

You hear someone familiar enter the room behind you. It's the assassin again! They stare you down... they'll definitely kill you in one hit if you don't clear the room or spend effort restraining them! If you don't have any ideas for dealing with the creepy dummy, try to hold back this mysterious enemy!


LOOSE ENDS ROOM (DEPTH: 3)
Pedestal (You need to tie up a loose end!)
Hint Book
Hint Book

The quiet watcher: 5,000/5,000 HP
JOEbob: 1,001/5,000 HP

CREEPY DUMMY ROOM (DEPTH: 2)

Wooden Dummy (has shirt: GODMODDER'S FOE)

Karpinsky: 5,000/5,000 HP
Winkins: 5,000/5,000 HP
Ranger Strider: 5,000/5,000 HP
Cephalos Jr.: 5,000/5,000 HP
Bill Nye: 5,000/5,000 HP

[Anti-AG]???: Seemingly Invincible!

 

[Moniker]

(X2) I invoke the Spirit of Radiance, the Power of the Lamp, the Rising,Noon and Setting Sun and blast the Dark Creeper into some radiant bits, the Dark Archer May or may not be caught in the Attack if it manages to penetrate through the Dark Creeper into it.

(x1)I sing a Builder's Song/as I continue to repair the ancient wall, one day I will Guard is all/from the terrors of Dark beyond.

Click to shrink...

Black Creeper slain! Phew! One less thing to worry about.

+11% wall repair!

With all of my thoughts into one idea(3X actions), I take all of my frustration and manifest them on my protector shield.

Immediately, there is a distinct change as the shield itself gets warped and the colour seems to smolder. Waves of spiteful energy arises from the powerful shield, and i see that the shield face twists in on itself as softer colours change to a more red hue, bringing with them the heat of anger and the inability to do much but be there. The edges start to sharpen and the face itself seems to become more unevenly faced, growing small spikes that are covered by the wrathful energy to be unleashed only when attacked, where it manifests in the form of a highly unstable energy that shoots out at the opposition and stabs into them before calming down, and gathering more resentment into more attacks. A small note is that the energy can build up and release in one go, increasing the damage it can do if it is left on its lonesome, but it can only attack in bursts. (upgrade protection shield to recharging thorn shield that can build up hatred when not used, and is able to release when attacked, though will need at least two turns to recharge for combat use)

Click to shrink...

You gain the Recharging Thorn Shield! Now, it damages enemies who attack it, and can be manually recharged once per turn for one action!

You may want to throw yourself in front of the generator or Ancient Wall to use this shield to bodyguard.

Action 1:
I chop a few letters off of the infantryman captain's name, turning him into the infant captain. As a baby, he's powerless, so I simply pick him up, put him in a cannon, and launch him into the beyond.

Action 2:
I scatter a few caltrops in the trench.

Action 3:
I whack the wall with a wrench a few times.

Click to shrink...

1,500 damage to the Infantryman captain! Somehow, he's normal the next time you look at him.

+11% spikes! +2,000 HP to the Ancient Wall!

I create a bunch of Skeleton spawners from Minecraft. It'll only last this turn, but it should still do something.

Click to shrink...

A large number of skeletons appear, and begin shooting arrows! The Bat Battalion, flying nearby, is struck many times over, taking 4,000 damage! Angered, the bats fly towards the skeletons, separating their bones from their other bones!

3x: "Must... finish... spikes!" The man in an MTF uniform frantically adds even more spikes to the trench. Red spikes! Blue spikes! Lone spikes! Dual spikes! Sponges! Wait, those last one's weren't spikes, they were just the packaging. Shrugging, the man in an MTF uniform turns the sponges into SPONGE SPIKES. They're sponges, but they're spiky. Like coral or something.

Click to shrink...

How many spikes are there now? Yes... ALL THE SPIKES.

Spike Upgrade complete! Now, attackers will take 2,000 damage!

The Trench is as good as its going to get!

Focused Action: I head over to the secondary area and throw a fire charge at the Dark Creeper. This lights the Dark Creeper's fuse, causing it to detonate at a safe distance from the base.

But wait, I throw it into the Cyber Dragon just before it explodes, causing severe damage to the Cyber Dragon.

Click to shrink...

2,500 damage to the Cyber Dragon! The Bide absorbs the damage!

I appear in Darkness II!
Channeling the power of D U C K, I conjur a glowing yellow staff made of pure, holy, duckian light. I then use it to materialize a barrier of light around the Generator, protecting it from foes and darkness.
Then I ask the ducks if they could send us a bit of aid, please. Maybe a entity? We're in trouble.

Click to shrink...

You appear in the Darkness II, seemingly from nothing! But really, you came from... from... from wherever you were when you were AFK.

The Shield Generator is protected!

The Ducks have heard your plea! You or someone else can invoke the power of DUCK - once - to double the damage of any attack or chain attack combo!

Focus: It's Black Friday day!

The Dark Infantryman Captain (or General if the captain is dead) quickly enters a store seeking for his favourite and weapons, however he's always too late. By the time he enters a store all his favourite weapons have been taken by all the other captains.
He's always mocked for his poor quality of weapons, how can he possibly be a captain if all he got is a rusty sword? He's simply not rich enough to get anything better except on Black Friday, however he's always the person who sees the last item going out of stock.

He's a failure... Always too late. How can he possibly be considered has a captain with those shabby equipment that any peasant can get?

Click to shrink...

The Dark Infantryman bursts into tears. The reason why he has no attack, and can only summon, is because he's too ashamed to pull out his old and weak weapons! 4,000 emotional damage! Dark Infantryman captain slain!

I focus and create a drill on my arm made of bones
I focus on my target, the dark infantry man captain(if he's dead any entity that's a summoning unit)

I i throw some sand into his eyes
And stab him as hes distracted, i don't stop there i wanna make sure he's dead
So i go full JoJo on his ass

Mudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudsmudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamuda

Mudaaaaa

Mudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamuda

I stike a pose as i look at his hole ridden corpse
And say some cheesy one liner in Arnold's voice

Click to shrink...

4,000 damage to a Dark General! First, pocket sand! Then, Jojo power! These references are on-point.

'Oh Good! some others are now here, Much better.' I think to myself as the other players start helping with stemming the tide of enemies. Looking around I see that Paradoxdragonpaci is dealing with the Dark Creeper and that FlamingFlapjacks has given the Generator another attack shield. 'Well best deal with the other Dark Archer before they can attack again.' I note to myself as I rest the recently acquired mace against my shoulder.

Closing my eyes I focus a little bit of power for a wish. 'I wish for a stable portal to open up next to me that leads right behind the Dark Archer.' Suddenly in a flash of red light a red oval shaped portal opens in front of me and peering into the portal I see the Dark Archer on the other side. Quickly I enter the portal and a second later I pop out on the other side behind the Dark Archer who just starting to turn around as they felt that someone was right behind them but they are to slow and are unable to prevent me from slamming the Mace right into the back of their head which lets out a loud crack and they crumble onto the ground. (2 CP)

I quickly follow up with a second strike to the head to ensure they are dead. 'Okay, That was much easier then the other one.' I think to myself as I pull the mace from the back of Dark Archer's head just before they dissipate into nothingness. Looking towards the Black Wolf I decide to attack them as well. 'Well the Dark Archer's Bow and one of their arrows has not vanished yet, Lets trying using that.' I tuck the mace into a loop in my belt and I quickly pick up the Bow and one of the remaining arrows. I then ready the bow and notch the arrow and I aim at the Black Wolf. Just as I let loose of the arrow the string on the bow snaps which messes up my aim and I end up only nicking the Black Wolf with my arrow switch leaves a long cut across it's side. (1 CP)

Click to shrink...

Using a COMBO MOVE, you destroy the Dark Archer and do 1,500 damage to the Black Wolf! The Dark Archer's bow snaps in your hands after firing. You must just be too strong to use a weapon this relatively weak.

x3 Action:
Eyowe bats his eye as he bats the Bat Battalion with a lot of bats conjoined into a giant Battle Bat.

Click to shrink...

3,500 damage to the Bat Battalion! Bat!

1. I summon a white creeper for him to kamikaze with the black creeper
2.I launch an EMP at the cyber dragon
3. I throw a flash grenade at the Dark General

Click to shrink...

1,500 damage to the cyber dragon and Dark General! The Cyber Dragon continues to Bide...

----------

AG:

The Deprecated Robot, whirring and beeping strangely, stabs a Black Wolf for 1,000 damage!

V:

The Dark Generals bring about 2 more Black Wolves! Their numbers are adding up!

The two black wolves already here attack the Wall, dealing 4,000 damage, but taking 2,000 damage from the trench! The wolf already injured by the robot dies! The Dark Infantryman and Bat Battalion also attack the Wall, dealing 7,000 damage! The Wall is barely holding on... however, both die afterwards!

In the Darkness II, the Black Wolf bites the Generator, but only succeeds in taking out the regenerating 2,000 HP shield! The Dark General summons another Black Wolf!

In the background, the Cyber Dragon is almost done biding! This is likely to hurt...

---------

The Anti-AG is very nearly here...! It may be too late to delay it. You'll have to fall back on trying to stun it and keep it away every turn here!

In The Darkness, a third Dark General shows up! Their numbers are increasing too fast...! In addition, EXAMON appears, another entity from your past, this one more powerful than ever! You might want to use stunning-type moves to keep it at bay instead of burning effort working at that massive HP bar!

In The Darkness II, two more Dark Archers show up!

----------

You hear a grinding noise from the Godmodder Statue... its arm is moving, slightly... are you getting close?


THE DARKNESS:

Endless Blackness (more enemies every turn!)

[Anti-AG]??? (.1 turns away)

[V]Examon: 30,000/30,000 HP, 6,000A, Special: Dragconic Impact: 0/4(Space attack!)

[V]Dark General: 10,000 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Dark General: 8,500 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Dark General: 6,000 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Black Wolf: 1,000 HP, 2,000A
[V]Black Wolf: 3,000 HP, 2,000A
[V]Black Wolf: 3,000 HP, 2,000A

Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)
Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)
Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)

Ancient Trench w/Spikes: Ready! Deals 2,000 damage to attackers!

Ancient Wall: 4,000/20,000 HP (protects everything)(x2 healing)
Ancient Wall: 11% repaired!

Ancient Forcefield Generator: Use once to completely protect Godmodder Statue!

[AG]Deprecated Robot: 3,000 HP, 1,000A (stronger if zombified)(can't be zombified by Players)(???)

[N]Godmodder Statue: 13,500 HP (DEFEND!)

Teleporter (Use one action to teleport to The Darkness II)

[AG]ExoSkeletal: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]DragonOfHope: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Daskter: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Eyowe: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Gnich: 5,000/5,000 HP (next attack does triple damage, plus inflicts effects on nearby enemies!)(Recharging Thorn Shield, protects from 2 attacks and damages attackers, recharge one use for one action)
[AG]Strider: 5,000/5,000 HP

THE DARKNESS II:

[V]Dark Archer: 2,000 HP, 4,000A (too far away to attack!)
[V]Dark Archer: 2,000 HP, 4,000A (too far away to attack!)

[V]Cyber Dragon: 6,000/11,000 (uses bide)(stored damage: 10,000)

[V]Dark General: 7,500 HP (summons a Black Wolf every turn!)
[V]Black Wolf: 3,000 HP, 2,000A
[V]Black Wolf: 1,500 HP, 2,000A

Electric Light(allows you to see enemies!)

Ancient Wall: 21% repaired!

Shield generator: Grants recharging 2,000 HP shield to Power generator!

Teleporter (Use one action to teleport to The Darkness)

[N]Power Generator: 8,000 + 2,000 HP (powering electric lights!)(protected from 2 attack)

[AG]Captain.cat: 5,000/5,000 HP (protected from 1 attack)
[AG]ParadoxDragonPaci: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]DanganMachin: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]Crusher: 5,000/5,000 HP
[AG]FlamingFlapjacks: 5,000/5,000 HP

 

[Moniker]

First thing I do is point out that the spinning blades should've procced as we were boarded. As previously established, hopping off the vehicle and staying on the ground gets you killed.
I laugh maniacally as 3 of the enemy replica players retroactively explode into giblets, and everyone else on Red Team takes 2000 damage.
Nevermind, was cleared up on Discord.

Somebody yank the three weakened players into the line of fire of the whirling blades please. Letting the blades get at them will kill all 3 instantly.


3 ACTION FOCUS: VALLA SUCKS AND I CAN PROVE IT MATHEMATICALLY

Piono stares down Valla.
"Hello there sweetheart, do you hear that noise?"
The distant sounds of airhorns can be heard. Growing louder and louder.
"It's the sound of you getting your comeuppance, [small female dog but italicized]"

Valla immediately tries to counter, but is met with a giant No U Reverse Card (like an Uno reverse card, but it contains the power of BOTH the ultimate counter counter memes).
The only thing Valla can feel in that one moment following is best summed up with an image:


Valla violently explodes upon realizing that her own action counters have countered her own counter actions. This sends her flying off into the distance, where I zoom off into the distance and prepare something special.
A classroom.

Now, this is doubly cruel because not only does school suck to an inordinate extreme but it is one of the absolute antitheses of freedom. You're locked in a classroom, divested of any forms of individual expression, and forced to work on the same monotonous tasks over and over until you've been "educated". While not all schools embody the true power of the classroom, this one does. I've yanked it right from the elemental plane of imprisonment, its very heart and core.
If I had to make a guess at what Valla's critical soul weakness is it would probably be school but guessing people's CSW has proben futile in the past so that has nothing to feature in here.
I'm just doing it because Valla sucks and needs to be taught a lesson in WHY she sucks.

Valla comes screaming in and slams headfirst into the schoolroom. The roof and foremost wall snap shut behind her. The trap has been triggered and it's time to teach her a lesson. Both literally and figuratively. Bands made of pure Stoppium (nullifies all escape and freedom based powers) wrap around her arms and legs, the chair magnetically pulls her upright and her eyes are snapped open by robotic arms. The power of school will set in shortly and remove her ability to resist but until that happens I have to hold her in place physically.

Welcome to Why You Suck 101

A large chalkboard is at the front of the classroom where I stand. A single equation is written on it:
VALLA = SUCK
"Hello class" Valla's the only one here "Today we are going to talk about why you suck. Specifically, why Valla sucks. It's been mathematically proven so it's a good place to start."
"First, we need to know the value of VALLA, and that's quite simple, within the Poybo Theory of Valla Sucking each of the letters is representative of their place in the alphabet. Each A is equal to 1, each L equal to 12, the V equal to 22. Given the syntax, these are all multiplied together to make a nice, even 3168. This also happens to be the Moron's Number as proven by famed metafictional mathematics professor I. Diot, but this is mostly a side note and is not relevant to today's class."
"We'll start with the first variable, S. S stands for Serendipity which is stated as being a chance or coincidental manner of things going in a beneficial way. For Valla this number is worth about -9KiloFortunes, so -6. The reason for this is because in this case S can be found as a result of the equation bs + B^3."
"Those of you that were here for the FIRST LESSON" he glares at Valla "will recall that bs is the Bollocks-Stupidity Quotient, and b is equivalent to ️enevolence. Valla, I hope you're writing your punishment paper from last time."
Valla nods slowly, and realizes that without noticing, she'd begun writing "VALLA = SUCK" on the piece of paper in front of her. Not even in her own color, it's a dull grey. The color of school.
Valla tunes out the next bit of lecturing, as Piono rambles on about how high her bollocks-stupditiy quotient is but that it's balanced out by having a benevolence rating so low that when combined with her anti-memelord status drops her bs quotient into the dirt and then some, giving a final score of -6. She can't believe this, school, trapped in school again. It's even worse than she remembered.
"VALLA!"
Valla suddenly snaps to attention. She doesn't want to. Every bone in here body wants to rebel and fight back, but she can't. The bands aren't even on her arms anymore but the dreary energies have seeped into her soul and all she can do is try to make it through the rest of the class.
"If you don't pay attention I'm going to have to hold you in after class."
Valla panics and shakes her head. This is torture already, doubling the length of time she spends here would make in unbearable.

"Good, next up is Uselessness. This is equivalent to the" Piono then rattles off a very long and complicated chain of mathematical formulas. From the point of her immense powers not doing something useful for her once, to being effectively useless against the Godmodder and towards her goals every time she's showed up on the field, right down to the fact that she's wasted every single one of her actions in the race countering things. Countering things that made no difference. She got the shield powerup but then her team didn't get attacked. She got double action but surprise surprise she wasted all of that on countering actions so that she could fail to protect her team's vehicle.
Each statement is irrevocably true, even if it's wrong. All of it is her fault for being useless, even with her massive amounts of power. All of this is true even if it isn't because that is the way of school. Even facts and logic cannot free you from the endless chain of the unending grind against one's soul.
"So finally, once you divide power functionality by competence and multiply the results by the inverse of inevitability's stopgap function, you come to the final result of Uselessness = 22. Now, I hope you've got that." She doesn't got that, but she doesn't dare raise her voice. "We are now moving on to the third number."

"C is the variable for Childishness. As we all know Valla is a childish punk who would rather weasel her way out of actually facing the consequences than accept that maybe she's wrong, but this can be put into mathematical terms with the use of the Modified Chancellor Steve's sliding scale of childish tendencies."
"Of course, the maths community uses sliding scales from 0 to 7 now, after having been proved by I.N. Compie that 7 point sliding scales are the most scientifically sound, hence the use of the Modified scale. And while Valla may not be to the level of throwing tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants, she DOES take things without asking, break promises because 'crossies doesn't count', and stop listening to people and fidget with things because she doesn't like what they're saying. This rates her at a solid 4/7 on the scale. Translating to four sevenths equally as her Childishness value."

"Finally, K. Or Karpinsky's Constant, from the wonderful thesis on Player Ephemerality as written several posts down from here. It is equal to negative 42 and I will not be covering the exact meaning of it in this class."
Piono's been writing the entire time. It's been too fast for Valla to follow, but it finally coalesces on the board. The numbers all line up, coming to form one, final truth that she cannot escape.

S = Serendipity = -6
U = Uselessness = 22
C = Childishness = 4/7
K = Karpinsky = -42
SUCK = -6*22*4/7*-42 = 3168 = 22*1*11*11*1 = VALLA
It all makes sense.
She hates it, but it makes perfect sense and it will never not make sense ever again.

"So now you see Valla, not only do you suck, but you suck in a mathematically provable way. Class dismantled."
Wait dismantled?
And then the chalkboard leaps off the wall, the numbers and constants assaulting Valla with the pure power of how much she sucks until she's been torn apart on the subatomic level.
Class dismantled indeed.

Click to shrink...

Valla uses her three counter actions to desperately escape the quickly-dismantling class! Once she's out, she decides that she will have VENGEANCE! ...After picking up her tasteless school lunch. My goodness she is mentally drained.

Amelia and ES grumble about the state of the vehicle, but have already encased the Bullet Time Field in a vacuum-sealed cover and pumped out all the air. Without the fuel it needs to continue burning, the fire would wither and soon after die.

Click to shrink...

The bullet time field fire begins rapidly decreasing!

I sigh. "Come on..."

3 ACTION FOCUS - NEED MORE SCRAP METAL: I steal ammo from Valla and use it to start making repairs on the engine. "Sorry, needed more scrap metal Valla."

Click to shrink...

You rapidly repair the engine! As the engine is still on fire, you're not sure how much this is really helping!

I assist GoldHero by putting out the engine fire with some bloodbending - I use the blood of our enemies to douse the flames and, conveniently, grease the various parts of the engine! Not only is there no more fire, but it runs better than it did before!

Click to shrink...

1,000 damage to a Replica Player! The engine now has significantly less fire, but it still needs a bit more work!

I take notice of the two Red Replicas with only 2000 HP left. I notice the spinning blades that deal 2000 damage to boarders. Hmm, if I could entice those three to quickly stop over... Yeah, I'll burn 3 actions on this!

I could just yank them in, but then they wouldn't really be boarders then. Not to say I can't do some yanking. Let's get creative! I first summon a trio of small motorcycles. These area all primed to self-district in 5 minutes in case my plan doesn't entirely work. Next, I bake a pizza. It is the most delicious pizza one could imagine! Bacon, olives, double cheese, it has ALL! And on top of that, I endow it with a memetic hazard that makes everyone who sees it desperate to nom it! Of course, I set up the memetic hazard such that it cannot affect myself and my fellow players, and even has a mild turning-away effect so we don't get distracted by the mouthwatering taste and smell.

I then put on a cowboy hat, dramatically shoot a revolver in the air for no real reason, then grab a lasso. With a mighty Texan YEEHAW I swing the lasso around towards the Red Team vehicle, grabbing the three 2000HP replica players, and swing them up into the air! Given their trajectory they'd splatter undramatically onto the pavement behind us... but I, in my endless generosity, deploy the three preciously constructed motorcycles under their landing spot in just the right orientation for the three replicas to land in perfect driving postures! Now with those they could easily catch back up to their own vehicle... But they don't want to, because I put the supernaturally mouthwatering pizza on the back of the Road Roller! Who cares about a few spinning blades, those Repilca Players MUST HAVE IT! No doubt that the pizza will entice and distract them, leading them to drive up to us and (try to) climb aboard and get chopped it bits.

Click to shrink...

The Replica Players, falling for it completely, drive right into the horrific blades and to the tantalizing pizza! One, missing his lower torso, manages to land on the pizza, and enjoy a few bites before horrible death... mmm....

Three 2,000-HP Replica Players slain!

Valla: Nobody else go for that pizza! We'll eat it after they're all dead!

FOCUS: NEEDS MORE COWBELL

Suddenly, the Replica Players not being explicitly lured in by the actions of the other players on my team finds them selves trying to wade through a pile of cowbells, which clearly won't do.

Cause it needs more cowbell, another pile for every instance ever of the statement needs more cowbell.

Pushing through that should force most of them to spend a action.

Click to shrink...

The Replica Players will need to burn 3 actions to clear away the Cowbells!

I quickly toss an attack shield onto the Speedy Improved Antigravity Big Rigs Engine to avoid any last second energy blasts rendering our efforts irrelevant. (x2)

With the vehicle itself in terrible shape, I grab a hammer and get to work. Increasing its general durability to a less critical condition isn't the most creatively demanding task but there's certainly a lot of hammering and patchwork to do. Hammering the metal back into shape here, using flex tape on the framework there, and hot glued popsicle sticks to handle the worst of the damage. It's not a pretty repair job, but at least the Replica Truck won't be destroyed from a stray spit ball. (x1)

Click to shrink...

Engine protected!

You rework some of the damaged parts of the engine! Its almost back to normal!

[aleph+bet+gimel] Leah looks upon Valla. Using her power seems to just let her into all sorts of wonderful trance-like states now, if she's got any reigns on it. "... I really hoped that rescuing you from the Godmodder's clutches wasn't some kind of awful mistake when we met you, but I guess it is. Kind of awful to say or think about. I guess it doesn't matter in the end. My opinions on the, uh, immienntly deceased don't really matter."

Leah's hollowed golden arm raises itself to the sky. An immediate countermeasure in case of Valla shenanigans is deployed as well-in the form of Omniglot's aburpt and constant stream of bullets, Leah's sword-wings coming to life to try for Valla's neck, and Leah's remaining cobalt arm whirling into a vast, thin series of strip-like tentacle blades to further harass Valla's concentration, each single strip playing the hydra effect if ever they were cut, Omniglot's constant hovering and erratic movement making pinning or tracking the fellow difficult, and the fast, furious, relentless nature of the blades (as well as their surprise force) in tandem make Valla only a witness to events as a single strand of the golden frame slings itself up... And up... And up... And up.

"You didn't even bother to honor my statements, even if they were basically, like, insults. It was hardly as if you were even being harmed. You only proved me right, though. You might as well be a Godmodder construct for all anyone cares, but that's an insult to Godmodder constructs," Leah says. As Valla fights off a fourth war from incineration via deathly insult, the golden strand keeps going sky-high. If Valla were to find herself able to beat back the now fourfold assault upon her personage to shoot or stabotage the strand, the strand finds itself unbending and also immensely regenerative, and Leah herself abruptly covered in a simple forcefiled made of gold strands. Still, the single strand rushing to the sky/roof of the area, and beyond, now becomes immensely concerning.

"A lot of people count on us. A lot of people. It's kind of mind-numbing to think about, I just completely blank. People I've never even met not only know my name but look up to me as some kind of heroine goddess thing, the next Architects in how utterly important I've wound up. From some stupid random girl to some stupid random anmesiac to some stupid random heroine of all reality. But, thing is, when you're the stupid random heroine of all reality, well. I 'unno how to say it but you'd think I'm one for a reason," Leah says, as her cobalt tendrils add a new equation to Valla's mix-rocks. Regular, plain rocks from around the area, albeit gigantic-boulders the size of houses find themselves sent at bullet speeds at Valla's direction wtih just a touch of a tendril, inflamed from the force, as the golden tendril goes higher and higher. If Replica players were to attack it, a gigantic holographic 'No U' card appears and slaps the attack away, before thereafter barraging the offender with deadly lasers, deadly shuriekn, deadly bullets, and deadly deadlies, oh my! Whether Valla sees fit to create barriers or dance an intricate dance of death to keep the attacks away doesn't seem to matter-Leah's various vectors of attack all seem to just catch Valla in the right way, not to harm but to interfere. How annoying! Which, as mentioned, is exactly what Leah thinks of Valla. How fitting!

Leah's verbal assault doesn't seem to let up either. "I'll be straight with you all. I feel awful. I'm not awful myself, but I've said that I get not being controlled by others? I've been thinking about that a lot recently. I've been basically at the mercy of the kindness of others and I haven't really made any worthwhile contributions to any real endeavor. I'm pretty sure my friends could've dealt without me just fine in our adventures, and the old man could've picked Meghan or Grimm to bear these wings. Further still, a lot of the fighting I wound up doing afterwards was... How do I put it, I just don't know, but it felt like it wasn't for any purpose. But now I've become this idol without power to her-some figurehead, I suppose? Like everyone else here except I feel more hollow, like there's nothing to really back it up. Like no-one would've noticed if my contributions were gone and I just, sat there. Being worthless with ultimate power-how's that for a joke?"

Valla's response is probably shouting with dealing with all of Leah's crap, as she slowly doubles in intensity what VAlla has to deal with-energy projections of invisible warriors, lava geysers from below, walls of lightning from above, a cannon that shoots boots, a boot that shoots cannons, a statue of Moniker being used as a flail, that sort of thing.

"You have a different problem along those lines. I don't think you're incompetent or that no-one would notice you, but you're just using these powers for... All the wrong reasons. Like, what? I don't think you've even thought for a second, or cared for a second, what's gonna happen after you complete your precious player lock. The rest of us have and we don't like what we see, so now you're worthless in a different matter, but while I guess I just feel like a nonentity, you're an active obstacle. And I really can think of only one thing to show someone like you, who's literally willing to endanger reality, including themselves, to have a shot at the big fat infinite power you so desperately crave."

And millions of millions of miles above-no, now millions upon millions of Astronomical Units long, uninterrupted regardless of all that has happened, the single strand of gold finally stops.

...

That's it.

Nothing else happens. It just, stays there.

The assault upon Valla's person abruptly ceases with no loss in damage.

Confusion arises. Is that it? Player-empowered scanning of Leah's singular super-long strand reveal it to have no special purpose.

Right until they look at the base, at Leah's arm, where the strand's base is. Overlooked until now, it is now quite obvious that it springs forth from her centermost finger, while the rest are curled up.

...

Oh.

Valla's own HP bar betrays her at the sight of the biggest flipping of any bird ever flipped. Its various values curl themselves into zeroes, even the zeroes, then shrink into nothingness and explode, taking Valla with them in their haste to depart from the withering nature of Leah's hand. In other words, desperate insubordination in the face of Leah's golden gesticulation.

Click to shrink...

As you give the ULTIMATE BIRD, Valla's expression curls into one of horror! Screaming, she flies towards her end of the track! 4,999 damage to Valla!


-----------

Valla is too busy flying through the air and screaming to attack, even if she had actions left!

One Replica Player clears away the cowbells! The other two grab The_Nonexistent_Tazz and Eternalstruggle and slam them into each other! 3,000 damage! This fight seems to be swinging pretty hard in your favor!

Valla finally lands back near the red track...

Valla: Haha... AHAHA!

Valla: I'm... I'm NOT worthless...! And I'll mathematically prove it... by winning this race!

Valla: BECAUSE YOU SEE! MY MASTER PLAN! OF FREEDOM! IS NOW BEING EXECUTED!

Valla: You see, as you failed to notice last turn...

Valla: ONE OF THE REPLICA PLAYERS WAS MISSING! BECAUSE THEY HAD ACTUALLY GRABBED OUR BURNING WRECK OF A VEHICLE AND BEGUN CARRYING IT TOWARDS THE FINISH LINE!

Indeed, one of the Replica Players from earlier had, instead of approaching your vehicle, grabbed the flaming and destroyed vehicle, and is now carrying it towards the finish line! They'll make it there in 2 turns!

Valla: REPLICA PLAYERS! KEEP THEM LOCKED DOWN! WE'LL WIN THE RACE! YES! I WILL PROTECT THIS REPLICA PLAYER WITH MY COUNTERING POWERS! YES!

Valla: AHAHAAHAAAAAAAAANAAHHAHA FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM

Your attacks seem to have affected Valla's demeanor somewhat.

---------

You can't attack Valla or the Replica Player she's protecting until you clear out the Replica Players near you! Also, once your engine is ready to go, you'll need to give it a jump-start to get it properly moving again! Your bullet-time field is back online, as well.

??? appears! You can start fleeing him if you get your vehicle out of this rut! You might also want to stunlock them. You have a feeling the bullet-time field won't be enough to protect you...

WE CAN ONLY WATCH HOW THIS MADNESS PLAYS OUT, FOLKS!


THE RACES:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------+------------ 90/100

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --/100

---------------------------------------------------?--------------+++------------------ 61/100

RED TEAM(vehicle):
Replica Player: 1,000/5,000 HP (carrying burning wreck! +5 Units of distance/turn!)
Valla: 1/5,000 HP (countering ability!)(bodyguarding Replica Player!)

RED TEAM(attackers):
Replica Player: 4,500/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 4,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
[Anti-AG]???: Seemingly Invincible!

GREEN TEAM:
Eternalstruggle: 2,000/5,000 HP
ThatRandomGuy: 5,000/5,000 HP
Alastair Dragovich: 4,000/5,000 HP
Piono: 5,000/5,000 HP
The Nonexistent Tazz: 2,000/5,000 HP
CaptainNZZZ: 5,000/5,000 HP
General_Urist: 5,000/5,000 HP
GoldHero101: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Replica Truck
Durability: 2,000 HP
Speedy Improved Antigravity Big Rigs Engine: Great condition (+7 speed)(Modest damage resistance)(Clutch boost - get +5 units of distance once!)(somewhat on fire! Needs to be put out to make vehicle move again!)(protected from 1 attack)
Particle/Ray shield engine: Perfect condition (weak protection against environmental damage)(blocks 300 long-range damage)
Spoiler: 1,000 HP, allows for one emergency turn!
Spinning blades: Deals 2,000 damage to boarders!
Koopa Tower: 3,000 HP, Special: 2,000A long-range attack: 1/2
Bullet Time Field: Holds up to 3 attacks/attackers in place for a turn, granting increased reaction time! (On fire! Can't block attacks until put out!)
Robot Cyclists w/sanic-powered wheelios: +3.5 Units/turn!
Speed: +17.5 Units/turn