Defeat The Godmodder

[Crusher48]

Hey, isn't there a first-level spell that can let people see in darkness?

Well, there's also Starsight.

Nah, that's tapped out. But Darkvision certainly isn't.

Action 1: I give all friendly players Darkvision, letting them see in darkness.

Action 2: I punch the stronger Dark Infantryman in the face.

Action 3: Hey, Dark Generals! I'm the Dark Messenger, with a high-priority message. The ??? is the secret weapon of the defenders. If it reaches the battlefield, it will wipe out our offensive here. You need to send a group of Black Wolves to engage it and slow it down to buy enough time to wipe out the statue.

 

[Moniker]

"This is bullshit." ES mutters to himself. "I mean, fair's fair, we were told it was a bad idea, now we're seeing why. Should have followed my lead and finished him off earlier... now we're stuck like this."

Amelia was not taking this lying down, seeing as she was currently staring down the slowly swirling psychic blast, trapped in the bullet time field.

"Messing with the energies of the universe like this... not only creating half-living shadows, but giving them the Gift? I'm not even that religious and it smarts! God would punish you for your hubris, but he's kinda dead..."

She pauses. "So I guess I'll have to SUBSTITUTE! BECAUSE THERE SEEMS TO BE NO GOD HERE BUT ME! TAKE THIS!" With a sharp gesture, she exerts her own will on the psychic blast. The Replicas have, at best, a facsimile of a will. In a contest of pure physical might it may only make a slight difference, but in a contest of pure psychic energy it ensures they shall know only defeat.

Amelia gains control over the blast, moulding it to her will, interfacing and overcoming the psychic link with the Replica, and then sends it careening away, into one of the Boulders. If it manages to overpenetrate and destroy it (psychic energy conveniently vaporises things instead of leaving shrapnel, of course) then it's on a collision course with the second boulder.

Click to shrink...

The Psychic Blast is successfully completely redirected! It hits a boulder, knocking it off course! Only one boulder remains aimed at your truck!

3 ACTION FOCUS - GET OVER HERE: I pull out a grappling hook. "This should be good." I grab the name tag of their car with the grappling hook. I jump back onto our car and give the hook to Piono as a freebie. "Do what you must!"

Click to shrink...

You grab the name tag of their's car! Coincidentally, their's car has the same nametag as the red and/or blue team.

CaptainNZZZ
General_Urist
Yo, we need one of you to help ES counter the incoming attacks and the other to mitigate/remove the zombies. Use upgrades to our vehicle if you have to.
The rest of us are coordinating something to make sure we can catch a break.

And to clarify, please do not mess with the incoming Powerups unless you've been specifically asked to, we're setting up something screwy with them.



I grab the other end of the hook from Goldhero and nod, saluting him.

3 ACTION FOCUS - SOUPSWAP TIME
I climb up to the top of our vehicle and take the other end of the grappling hook, tying, chaining, and otherwise afixing it to another hook, which I promptly hook onto the nametag of OUR vehicle. The Red Road Roller and Blue's Replica Truck have had their name tags tied to each other by this mysterious rope! To make absolutely certain that this continues to go off as best as we can make it, I cast as many "unbreaking" spells as I can on the sucker at once. These relay up the grappling hook and the whole thing, for the next couple of seconds/minutes, will be totally unbreakable or otherwise able to be interfered with by the other teams.

I step back from the rope and give Leah the thumbs up. Their turn, time to finish this gimmick up.

Click to shrink...

You successfully hook up the nametags of all three cars!

Valla: Hmm?

Countering!

FOCUS

So, here comes a Mega Boulder, caught in a Bullet Time Field.

Firstly, TRG bends the fabric of probability, and turns two different Trousers of Time into 3-legged intersecting messes, to temporarily summon a Reactor, with attendant energy and metal. He uses that to very quickly build a small structure around it, the main feature of which is a number of Moonshot Portals. Due to the nature of bullet time, and so on, the portals cannot directly intersect, but they can be moved to where the Mega Boulder is going to be. The Boulder flies in at great speed, and . . .

TRG could just fire it out of a portal pointed the other way. But that'd be uncreative, vulnerable to the Curse of Repetition, and a waste of certain unique tricks available to Players and Reactor users.

Firstly, the Mega Boulder gets fed into a 'Particle Accelerator' . . . the wrong way around, effectively trapping in a infinite loop of heading upward. It takes a few moments, but with a good few minutes of cutscene time (and the space between the portals containing a slowing field and having high air pressure), it slows right down.

Now, what happened during that cut-scene time? Firstly, TRG builds a second 'particle accelerator', with no atmosphere inside to slow things down, enhanced downward gravity, a set of lasers to heat up the Boulder, and a transmutation induction device to turn parts of it to very heavy osmium. Then, he duplicates that setup several times, and links it all up duplication matrices. Finally, a gun-barrel shaped lattice of magic, metal, and a single portal at one end is created, to give the various heated super-speed part-osmium Mega Boulders a few temporary enchantments related to reduced air resistance, homing, holiness, and so on.

Then the Mega Boulder finally runs out of momentum, and switches direction. A lot of very complicated portal switching, activation, deactivation later (as well as quickly manifesting or returning any parts of the contraption that have ceased to have use), the following flies out of the 'gun-barrel' at the Zombies: 255 (1+1*2+1*4+1*8+1*16+1*32+1*64+1*128) heated super-speed part-osmium holy homing Mega Boulders.

So. You tell me. What happens to the Zombies?

Click to shrink...

The zombies are utterly melted by a large boulder flying right through them! A large hole opens up in their ranks, though other zombies are quickly closing it. Obstacles totally countered, plus you'll have an easier time to cutting through the zombies!

With the other players pulling off a switcheroo of epic and successfully guaranteed proportions, I decide to grab the powerups for us. But how? Last time we got one, but Valla stole it back with three Actions...

Well, first things first, gotta get those powerups. Thinking quickly, I create a throne. A familiar throne. What throne?

The throne for the King of the Hill! In fact, it's shaped just like the replacement character! The powerups conspire for a moment and then, of their own free will leap into the throne, allowing us to collect them and realize themselves as the reincarnation of the original - not Verraad/Godmodder - King of the Hill. May his rule be just and his actions be profitable during his short stay on our team.

In the meantime, I realized the perfect switch. Mostly the second it leapt away, I created a real life green screen with pre-loaded special effects, had it depict me kicking the Blue Powerup away, and sent a ULTRA +10 PLAYER FOOLING FAKE POWERUP (Blue Team Edition) flying in the same trajectory that the special effects version of the powerup did. Specifically, this ULTRA +10 PLAYER FOOLING FAKE POWERUP (Blue Team Edition), lands in front of Valla. I swear and berate myself to sell the illusion as the Green Screen feels awkward and just poofs out of this race to go play checkers with a flying carpet.

================================

The Tragedy of Alastair Dragovich(part 3)

Alright then. Let's continue.

Alastair, upon finding himself in this unfamiliar Reality before him, began to wander. Wherever he went, haunted by his failures, he would relentlessly help everyone he could. Mundane as saving kittens from trees, as monumental as talking a dragon down from slaughtering a nation, to something in between, like helping a village recover from an impossible winter.

It was never enough. He felt the burden of, to his mind, all of existence being destroyed. At the very least it was the existence he know about, though that had been drastically little. But he needed to do more - be more. He needed to make up for his sins.

So when he heard of another Godmodder on a rampage, he did not stop for a single second to consider any method of approach or a better alternative. He went to confront the Godmodder.

Unfortunately for him, that Godmodder happened to be the most dangerous Godmodder known - Verraad.

Yes. Alastair Dragovich and Verraad had fought before. Verraad, in his all consuming ego and greed, does not remember because to him all his victims are beneath notice. Alastair does not remember.... well, I just told you, didn't I?

Alastair did not win the first time.

Click to shrink...

Valla: Stealing our powerups? AGAIN? You guys are so annoying! Cut it out!

Valla uses two of her actions to teleport her double-action powerup to a pocket dimension for the few seconds during which this attack takes place, allowing it to be protected from Alastair's grabbing!

Nonetheless, you successfully bring the other powerup in front of your vehicle, and send fooling powerups flying in the direction of the other teams!

2 actions: Plow through the zombies? OK then! I attack a gigantic armored snowplow thingy (one of those wedge-shaped/cowcatcher ones) to the front of the road roller to allow it to plow more efficiently. Just in case its status a a road roller is't enough to steamroll some zombies.

1 action: I attach a whole bunch of rubber sealant to various parts of the crew compartment, to make sure there's no risk of aerosolized zombie stuff or whatever getting inside and infecting people.

Spoiler: OLD POST, depreciated

1 action: Plow through the zombies? OK then! I attack a gigantic armored snowplow thingy (one of those wedge-shaped ones) to the front of the road roller to allow it to plow more efficiently. Just in case its status a a road roller is't enough to steamroll some zombies.

1 action: Fuck no, I ain't letting the Blues get more people! I'm removing that reinforcement booster from the equation, because it's not like it'll be much help for us with our actual unique personalities! With that, I proceed to duel wield RPG-7s (one rocket launcher in each hand), and in quick sucession fire both of them at the reinforcement booster! Even if it doesn't destroy the booster, the power of the blast should push it somewhere that the blues cannot collect it.

1 action: Let's try messing with their control. I take out a crossbow and try to shoot out some tires on Blue team's replica truck.

Click to shrink...

You attach a plow to get some of those zombies out of the way! Looking good! You might need a coup de grace to make sure the zombies don't slow you down, though... Also, the zombies now definitely won't get inside, or climb up onto the car and become enemies that you need to kill!

[aleph+bet+gimel] Leah nods at Piono and GoldStar and readies herself for her switcheroo. "Omniglot!"

"Readying linguistic metatransitioning protocols," Omniglot hums, as his frame glows a serene green. At the same time, the rope that Piono and Goldstar have switched the nametags on glows a similar color. Leah flies up to the rope and grabs it with both of her arms, which morph to give Leah a surefire grip. And then, she starts swinging herself around on it-looping around and around, somehow flinging herself to and fro along the cable! With each rotation she flies a bit further forwards (or back) and each time she goes to and fro the Red Road Roller and Blue Replica Truck, each time touching the vehicle-but only that-before leaving to return to the other vehicle. It almost looks like she's not acutally doing anything of value other than showing off...

...Well, to anyone other than the not-replica players of Green Team, who clearly see what's going on. For each touch, Leah's created the ghastly image of a letter, while simultaniously trading the previous letter off to the other vehicle, if any. To the green team, the ghastly letters feel of raw identity and targeting properties; the very essence of the names of both vehicles is being transferred and altered, one letter at a time, all at a surprisingly fast rate.

Leah soon hops right off the tether, causing it to explode in a shower of terrible explosion gifs, confetti and question marks, just in time to see the fruit of her work-by some inexplicable powers, though the two vehicles are otherwise untouched, the vehicles have swapped names entirely! The Green Team's Vehicle is now called and known as 'Replica Truck,' while the Blue Team's vehicle is called and known as 'Red Road Roller.'

This combination of actions is pretty useless on its own, natch. However, the helpful announcer gave word that if Green Team collected either (or both) of the 'obstacles' that were lined up for the Red or Blue teams, the Red Road Roller would instantly explode.

Rather handy, then, that the Green Team's vehicle is not the Red Road Roller; its now the Replica Truck. The Blue Team, though riding the same vehicle before Leah's action as they were, are now riding a vehicle named 'Red Road Roller.'

Hope they came prepared for abrupt conceptual explosion application.

Leah's story will have to continue elsewhen, alas! She spent all her concentration on this now-completed combo action.

Click to shrink...

Blue team's name switched!

Valla: Oh boy, this is gonna be good... hmm...

Valla spends her third action preparing for something.

That's certainly a lot of zombies before us. It's like someone decided to just start stealing zombies from some major zombie genre and just dump them all over the track. Hmmm, given their sudden appearance, they're probably from the Walking Dead. Those hordes always do have the magical ability to suddenly appear out of nowhere...

Anyway, onto the issue of punching out way through this undead mess. As a semi-regular user of undead entities, I am aware of both the advantages and disadvantages of using undead beings. They might not need substance or rest, but they suffer from a notable issue as a horde. The power of giant, heavily modified vehicles with terrible cg explosions! From Dawn of the Dead to the Resident Evil 3 movie, this truth rings out loudly.

Currently, the vehicle we currently have isn't too bad. There's a gigantic wedge stuck on the front, anti-gravity, and spinning blades. Not enough but it's still something. Something that soon will become even greater!

Leaving the issue of modifying the vehicle itself to other, I focus on offensive capabilities. Even ignoring the importance of offense for punching through a zombie horde according to movies, dead or damaged zombies are a fair bit easier to get past with an anti-gravity vehicle.

After quickly giving the robot cyclists shotguns and forward facing armored wedges, I move onto the main vehicle. On the top of the vehicle I create 'Generic Zombie Movie Protagonist #378' and supply the rugged looking survivor with the ultimate weapon: homemade explosives. With the power of cgi based explosions, these homemade explosives are perfect for the task of getting us through the zombie horde. Surprisingly powerful, inexplicably unable to damage anything that's not a zombie, and repeatable, they'll be far more effective than just creating 'Generic Zombie Movie Protagonist #378' and giving them something like machine gun.

...oh, and I guess the side mounted flamethrowers I just added to the main vehicle will also be handy. (x3)

Click to shrink...

Generic Zombie Movie Protagonist 378 is locked and loaded! ...With explosives.

------------

Red and Blue team's actions are delayed as you rapidly approach this turn's obstacles...

You hit the zombies head-on! The path made by That_Random_Guy's boulder has been closed by more zombies, but the overall numbers are reduced! Your plow knocks all zombies you hit head-on aside, right into the paths of the side-mounted flamethrowers! As you're approaching the end, and the zombies have begun to slow the vehicle down, Generic Zombie Move Protagonist 378 decides to heroically sacrifice himself for the team, throwing himself into the crowd with his explosives! The resulting blast clears a clean way for your vehicle to exit and carry on! Obstacle completely solved! +15.5 Units! You also hit the Reinforcement Powerup meant for the Blue Team! A friendly Replica Player spawns in on your team!

The Blue Team hits the Fake Player Fooling powerup with the properties of the normal powerup!

UH OH! IT LOOKS LIKE THE RED ROAD ROLLER HAS... WAIT, HANG ON HERE, THAT'S NOT RIGHT, LET'S SEE, IT'S...

OH MY! IN A BRILLIANT PLAY BY THE GREEN TEAM, IT SEEMS THE BLUE TEAM WILL BE EXPLODING INSTEAD!

Blue Team's vehicle explodes! All the machinery and defenses on it are destroyed! The Blue Replica Players barely manage to leap from the vehicle in time! The Red Replica Player already on the vehicle is caught in the blast and destroyed! All take 3,000 damage! One of the Blue Replica Players fails to launch themselves properly, and ends up a bloody pulp on the racetrack!

As the others float in the air, Red Team uses their actions to... levitate the Blue Replica Players safely towards their vehicle?

Valla: (Hope this works...)

Valla: Hey, Blue Replica Players! These Players are the REAL threat!

Valla: Just LOOK at what they did to you! Let's team up and take them down!

The Blue Replica Players agree! Red Team collects the Double Actions powerup, and of course Valla gets it - Valla will take 6 actions this turn! +21 Units to the Red Team!

The Red Team and the remnants of the Blue Team have merged!

IN A SHOCKING AND RARE TWIST, IT SEEMS THE RED AND BLUE TEAMS HAVE TEAMED UP TO DEFEAT THE GREEN TEAM! THE SITUATION TURNS AGAINST THEM ONCE MORE!

AND NOW, FOR THIS TURN'S DELIGHTFUL UPCOMING OBSTACLES!

RED TEAM FACES... NOTHING! THIS TURN.

GREEN TEAM FACES... AN ENTIRE MOUNTAIN!

Yup. Its an entire mountain, many miles tall. Also, there's no road on, around, or through it.

THIS IS REALLY DEVASTATING FOR GREEN TEAM! NO TEAM PRIOR TO THIS HAS MANAGED TO FACE THE MOUNTAIN OBSTACLE WITHOUT INSTANTLY LOSING THE GAME! WILL THEY MAKE A COMEBACK!?

That person behind you is catching up...

-----------

The ghostly Player apparition from before appears to be attempting to sway Red Team's Replica Truck! They're not doing much do to lacking power...

THE RACES:

-------------------------------------------------------------+++--------------------------- 62/100

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --/100

---------------------------?--------------------+++------------------------------------------ 42/100

RED TEAM:
Valla: 5,000/5,000 HP (countering ability!)
Replica Player: 4,500/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 1,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 2,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Replica Truck
Durability: 15,000 HP
Replica Engine: Fantastic Condition (+20 Units/turn)(Last-minute speed blast, +10 Distance units once!)
Autoturret: 2,750 HP, 3,000A (automatically fires at an enemy vehicle every turn)
Anti-Boarding Turret Array: 4,000 HP (boarding enemies take 3,000 damage)
Speed: +21 Units/turn

YOUR OBSTACLE: AN ENTIRE MOUNTAIN!

GREEN TEAM:
Eternalstruggle: 5,000/5,000 HP
ThatRandomGuy: 5,000/5,000 HP
Alastair Dragovich: 5,000/5,000 HP
Piono: 5,000/5,000 HP
The Nonexistent Tazz: 5,000/5,000 HP
CaptainNZZZ: 5,000/5,000 HP
General_Urist: 5,000/5,000 HP
GoldHero101: 2,000/5,000 HP
Replica Player: 5,000/5,000 HP

VEHICLE:
Replica Truck
Durability: 6,000 HP
Speedy Improved Antigravity Big Rigs Engine: Perfect condition (+8 speed)(Modest damage resistance)(Clutch boost - get +5 units of distance once!)
Particle/Ray shield engine: Perfect condition (weak protection against environmental damage)(blocks 300 long-range damage)
Spoiler: 1,000 HP, allows for one emergency turn!
Spinning blades: Deals 2,000 damage to boarders!
Koopa Tower: 3,000 HP, Special: 2,000A long-range attack: 2/2
Bullet Time Field: Holds up to 3 attacks/attackers in place for a turn, granting increased reaction time!
Robot Cyclists: +.5 Units/turn!
Speed: +15.5 Units/turn

 

[Strider626]

I use my posh english accent(not really it's horrible, soo horrible that it deals extra damage)
And bones of freaking destruction to tear through the enemy lines
Biltz them with my bones like a porcupine
Then i jump back
I use one of my abilities to create literal spikes of bone from the ground
And fill the trench with bones that disintegrate every entity it touches(for every entity that somehow survives the bones grow and split into smaller spikes and deals more damage by growing within them)

Then just stare at the damn enemy, then start to chuckle
I channel every evil bastard i know and all of my killing intent into that chuckle
Let them feel their deaths coming
Feel that tickle on their spines(this one doesn't let people go super saiyan, just fyi)
Lemme see how you bastards deal deal with this

 

[Alastair Dragovich]

I take stock of the situation. Not looking good. I look to my team. In the span of a single look, we hatch a plot. I then sigh.

"I suppose I can't have everything." I turn back to our enemies, the Red Team, and cup my hands.

"HEY VALLA!" I cry out. "EAT SHIT!"

I then open with an entire minigun salvo of port-a-pottys on Valla. Naturally. She counters.

I then take another deep breath... and I breath a gout of fire fit to put the Dragons of the Fire Nation to shame! Valla counters.

Then I turn into a Boat and RAM Valla! She counters it!

I then throw a pebble at her face. Due to the Curse of Repetition, it does nothing, but it does get her to blink and think- 'Wait, that's a fourth Action. That isn't possible!'

Wanting to be free of the Action limitations, she pulls up my Action Summary Early, despite it not being around for a few turns.

=============================================================

Action Summary:

3 ACTION FOCUS + Bullet Time Field: Freeze Valla and her Actions for 1 turn.

=============================================================

I wink and give her the dual finger guns as she's effectively frozen by the Bullet Time Field. All of that was just a flavortext distraction to get her to not notice my real move.

"You know, you're pretty predictable for all of your rambling about being free," I say casually. "Your self-serving quest for power has bound you even more than any alliance, friendship, or relationship would. A fitting end to your rampage, I'd say."

Reason-you-suck-speech delivered and trap snapped shut, I slump backwards and cringe in visible pain.

It's not ignored or hidden this time. Anyone who cares to pay attention can see me coughing up conceptually corrosive Voidstuff.

"...I think I was in the Void at some point. Guess the Godmodder's Prison destroyed some memories when my MIND was hit during my stay." I finally put together. "Ah... Well, Reality first, death later."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Tragedy of Alastair Dragovich (Part 4)

Alastair's fight against Verraad the Godmodder wasn't short lived. For one thing, the Godmodder didn't see his 2,000 Charge Attack coming. For another, NO ONE saw his attack coming since he had charged it so far away from the fight, his Player Powers shouldn't have been a thing.

For another, the mandatory isekai adventure sidequest Verraad had to undergo due to getting hit by a 2,000 charge truck was time consuming. Time consuming enough for all of the Players that had been fighting him to clear out and dismantle his operations to the point that he held 50% less power than before he got hit.

Needless to say, the fight began in earnest. However, despite having dismantled half of his operation, the front was by no means united. Over 70% of the time the Godmodder was away, the players were fighting amongst themselves. Anytime Alastair saw someone summon a demon he went berserk and ended up attacking his own allies, making things more difficult.

By the time Verraad returned, things had fully devolved into incoherence. Naturally, Verraad was attacked upon his return, but too many people were tied up in their own personal stories or power trips. One by one, Verraad destroyed the power tripper's means of production. Alastair tried to stymie his efforts, but the revenge attacks sent his way proved to be too much to overcome.

By the time everyone was finished infighting, it was too late. The Godmodder had already killed all of the Entities. He proceeded to put his fist through Alastair's head, ending his life...

And transferring him into the Soul Orb. Disoriented and without any entities to protect him, the Soul Orb Godmodder continued his assault. Other Players, as they died, came in, but none of them offered to help. Partly because they used this time to build up their charge pools.

Partly because Alastair never asked for any help. In his eyes, perhaps rightfully, he was responsible for his own death, and the beatdown was just that train of Justice continuing. However, he still fought and healed and fought some more.

Until Verraad figured out his weakness. Verraad, during a feint, entered Alastair's memories and turned them against him. The sight of everything dying, of Reality being so thoroughly broken.... It reminded the Player of what he had been trying to forget.

When Verraad left his mind, Alastair was on his knees, eyes full of tears, the fight in him spent. Verraad ignobly put him out of his misery by slapping the Player in the face.

And so he ended up in the soul Jail. And when he finally fell asleep and the monsters came for his MIND...

He let them. And so he lost the memories of the time interim his first failure, and his entrapment in the soul jail.

And so he fell into a deep, deep Darkness of sleep. Soon, he forgot even the subconscious impulse to remove the corrosive Nothing, just before it was fully purged. It took a long, long time for it to build back up and do proper damage...

But now, like the guilt and shame that ate away at him, the nothing hollows out Alastair Dragovich. And his odds are not good on surviving it now.

 

[pionoplayer]

EternalStruggle hey, would you mind beginning a combo attack on the replica truck for the rest of us to chain into? We've got enough firepower to smash it. especially if we expend a couple of vehicle upgrades to boost the power (thinking koopa tower and robot cyclists, so long as the former uses its attack in the process)


/strategynull


Urist, NZZZ, you guys can jump in on the chain if you want, you can do your own attacks, either will work. We just need to smash the thing all at once.


Note to self: order replica player to interfere with Valla if Alastair's trick doesn't work all the way. Attack the Red Replica Truck otherwise.

 

[Moniker]

Nothing for it. I enter the blue door.

Click to shrink...

Into the blue door.

The quiet watcher forces himself to remain calm as he lets go of his clothes before he examines each mirror as best as he can. The definition of Courage isn't the absence of fear, after all, but standing against it despite whatever happens next.

Click to shrink...

Overcoming the fear, you turn and stare at the mirrors head-on!

Your reflection shimmers for a moment, then the darkness disappears. It's... you. Just a normal mirror.

You suddenly feel a bit silly. Why were you ever afraid? With renewed self-confidence, you stride towards the next room.

Welp! Gotta go friends! I run into the blue door.

Click to shrink...

Blue door!

"Red door is second highest. That means something is above Flurple. There isn't a Nurple door. Durple is below Nurple and blue is not durple, and green is not (probablylowest). Since Blue and Green are either 1 level or 2 levels apart, a few possibilities for what the right choice is are:
Green can't be Smurple. Smurple has a 50% chance of being the thing above Flurple, more or less, which is to say, being the worst option. So, Green has a ~50% chance of having extra reason to not be the highest thing. if the scale goes:
? Smurple
? Flurple
? Nurple (EMPTY)
? Durple
? Burple
? ???
Then Smurple(top) must be an empty slot; Flurple is occupied, nurple is empty, and if there's a not-red in smurple something has to be in nurple.
So, either nothing is in the top, the top is the unknown possible rating, or the unknown rating is between flurple and nurple. So:
Smurple (empty) ???(something or empty)
Flurple (red) Flurple (red)
Nurple (empty) Smurple (something if ??? or blue if durple is green)
Durple (green?) ...ech, I'm doing a chart. the spaces aren't even formatting right. hold on..
Burple (blue?)
??? (green or blue)"
"Now, one might wonder Why I'm not feeling hurried about this."
"Your Imminent Adversary seems quite dangerous, this I grant. But you know what else?"
"They're not [PG]. They're not [V]. They're not [SR]. They're not even [N]!"
"They are [Anti-AG]. And one thing I'm not, haven't been, and likely never will be, is [AG]."
"I'm [N]. [N+2], technically, but that's not for hatred of the Godmodder. I rose through the ranks of Neutrality not through fighting, not through a principled stand against him, no."
"I rose through the ranks because I occasionally tested out if I was good at Godmodder attacks for fun, and then later on because I wanted to get some Godmodding energy for experiments. I went on, what, four sidequests of my own will? five? I gave the Godmodder two legendary weapons and then spent like a month arguing about a deal I made with him? Point is, I wasn't a typical [AG], nor [AG] to start with. I'm [N], and I won't accept any commitments that come with being [AG]. Come to think of it, why am I even here?"
"I'll tell you why! Outside is a deathtrap where I wouldn't get to act and my powers would slowly drain away with no or nearly no possibility of getting the power lock in time, because I'd have exactly none of the ingredients available. Because Outside of the Ruins I wouldn't be able to do much of anything. And because Outside the Ruins, I wouldn't have anything interesting to do, really do and not just narrate, until the end of reality."
"Inside the Ruins? Well, at least there's a logic puzzle. That's better then nothing, I guess."
"Oh, and [Anti-AG] entities can't target neutrals. I quote reality:"

"And I'm not AG, so I'm not the faction it wants to destroy, so it won't attack me."
At this point, I turn away from the figure and start scribbling combinations down on a piece of paper. Since doing that isn't an action, and I've got the time to think, I could open another box, but I respect the spirit of the challenge everyone else is facing. The hints we have now are all the hints anyone else would get, and the chalange would probably be trivial with every box opened. So. only this information, and what to do with my actions?
Simple. For the first action, [1x]I try to figure out the properties of Something, specifically using my player powers, vision, gravitational detection, free-association with probability magic, and a few other things to experimentally determine if it can do anything. For the Second,
[1x] I add some teleporter machines to my Second Body, since I only have two Something actions and therefore have an action to spare on boosting it up. Remember, the curse is only extreme item weakening, not nullity. Finally, for the third,
[1x] I set up a machine to render myself completely incapable of remembering or complaining about Something, and similarly incapable of looking under rocks in the future, if I don't figure out what Something is by the end of this round. Since Moniker had a Prophetic Dream about myself finding Something under a rock and then complaining about it some time(a few rounds but not many) before the Deleter started up, and I then signed a contract to make sure I can't complain about it unless it's worth/as useful as 8 CP or more, the only way to maintain the Temporal Stability of the universe and for his dream to be consistent is for me to, this turn, right now, find a use of/the properties of Something by the end of this round (and then complain about it.), which means I will succeed, hooray! Plus the universe will end soon so it kinda has to happen before then and stuff.





Chart I made:

Basicawow I messed up math bad there. ahem.
Basically, there are two cases listed here where a non-red Door is the worst door (because N comes after F and N is empty and blue-green need to be near so for blue or green ahead of red we need both 'free' doors there and since green can't be S there's only 2 such configurations of doors+levels.), and the rest of the time blue and green are just sorta better then red for sure basically.
blue can be better then green, when red isn't best, by 1, or 1, or 1, or 2, or 2, or 1, or 1, or 1, or 2, or 2, or 2... ok that's not how to word it, uh.
Most S can be anywhere and can't be green. so, when S is on the right, green is the worse choice if S is involved, but S can be on the left, but S only connects to D which is left so the gaps then are generally smaller anyway. DB connection has green worse and blue best, and DB is a constant arrangement. so, the combos with S in the last 3 tend to have green the worse choice ecept, like... one of them.
Without S involved, with ? involved, if ?... is, green is worse off in the first set, and the second set, and the third set, except some edge cases...
Basically, Green is More Commonly worse then blue and most/all of the equalizers require assuming the 6th urple, so its likely that the order of doors, in order of descending baddness, is:
Red,
Green,
Blue.
Green
but since there's an [Anti-AG] figure to avoid, splitting up is probably the right choice for the AG people. Myself, though, I'm not sure. do I want a bigger challenge or to finish faster? hm...
I'll decide once I see what blue is from other people going there, i guess.

Click to shrink...

You give a very nice speech about how the Anti-AG enemy can't attack you. It doesn't seem to care.

Something has some amount of gravity, some magical influence... I mean, really, you basically know everything you need to know about Something.

You can't create new items.

You decide to stay in the room, and wait to see what the others do.

Right seeing as I have no choice but to go forward due to big bad baddie over him, I bodily launch myself at the blue door to get away from the big bad baddie.

Click to shrink...

Blue door!

Action 1-3: welp, throwing caution to the wind, I go through the blue door

Click to shrink...

Blue door!

----------

Everyone hurriedly rushes to the Blue Door, totally ignoring the Red Door! Somebody grabs Cephalos Jr and drags him along, too!

??? cracks his knuckles, and flashes JOEbob a smile. Staying around? Not even attempting to deal with him? Big mistake.

Before JOEbob can blink or react, a knife is embedded in his heart! Quickly, he activates his emergency backup pocket dimension. He'll need to be off the field for a moment to rest... he'll rejoin the Players later! As he rests, he realizes... that Something is... really and truly... without a doubt...

...It's...

...something!

JOEbob eliminated!

-----------

Moving through the Blue Door, the five-man group finds themselves in a small dark room with only one thing in the middle... it's... a very, very creepy wooden dummy. It only has one thing on it... a tattered, old shirt reading "GODMODDER'S FRIEND". The room doesn't appear to have any exits. Or entrances. The one you used is definitely gone.

The creep vibes here are OFF THE CHARTS. You get the sense that only one thing will satisfy this dummy: You out-creeping it! Think of something more creepy, more unsettling than this horrific dummy!

-----------

The Quiet Watcher walks through the hallway into the next room. It seems to be a large, circular room stretching upwards, with no ceiling within your limited vision.

At the center of the room is a pedestal, dimly readable in the torchlight.

"ONE MUST TIE UP A LOOSE END TO PROCEED."

The Quiet Watcher thinks. Hmm. A loose end? Well, there's a few things... like that Tree of Lithium for the Heal Block. A few Books are scattered on the ground. The Quiet Watcher senses that they're Hint Books - spending a focused action, he could read one to get a hint on how to find the Tree of Lithium!

Embedded in the wall is a door. The door looks... well, really out of place. It's bright, glowing Magenta, and has glowing yellow signs posted nearby. "ENTER HERE! EASY WAY TO COMPLETE THE RUINS! PLAYERS COME QUICK!" Entering that door may be an option, as well.


LOOSE ENDS ROOM (DEPTH: 3)
Pedestal (You need to tie up a loose end!)
Hint Book
Hint Book
Hint Book

The quiet watcher: 5,000/5,000 HP

CREEPY DUMMY ROOM (DEPTH: 2)

Wooden Dummy (has shirt: GODMODDER'S FRIEND)

Karpinsky: 5,000/5,000 HP
Winkins: 5,000/5,000 HP
Ranger Strider: 5,000/5,000 HP
Cephalos Jr.: 5,000/5,000 HP
Bill Nye: 5,000/5,000 HP

OOC: Dead Players can still "cheer" the action of another Player in the same challenge they were in, boosting its power by one action.

 

[Karpinskaya]

We have to creep out the creepy dummy, huh?

I give it a hug. Because who in their right mind would hug the creepy dummy?

 

[The_Two_Eternities]

3x: The MTF operative adds spikes in the shape of Gabriel's Horn to the trench. They have finite volume, so they're easy to create ex nihilo, but they have infinite surface area, so it's impossible for the... darkness... monsters... to avoid them!
"Yes, that's not how geometry works, but I don't think they know that."

 

[The quiet watcher]

The quiet watcher flips off the clearly worthless (for now) magenta door before looking at the hint books, as the only easy way to handle the ruins would be to turn back or die, neither of which were options he could accept. He then picks up the third hint book and Reads it fully.

 

[Ranger_Strider_]

I change the dummy's shirt to read Godmodder's foe. After all, our comrades in our war against the Godmodder are never creepy! We have worked with extradimensional horrors! Great guys! Need to gert around to that poker game...

 

[JOEbobobob]

I chose to respawn in the room the Quiet Watcher is in as discussed on discord.
[1x] Well, it doesn't say to do the Tree specifically, right? And Something is a loose end, so if I can figure out what it is, I can put it on the pedestal. ok, but, hear me out here... what if Something exists Only to be a loose end for this quest? Of course, I haven't figured out what Something does. But I don't have to! My third action last round already tidied up the loose thread that was Something. Something was a loose thread because it was determined by prophetic dream that I would complain about it, and I had rendered myself incapable of doing so without it being of genuine value. So, it was a lose thread until just now, because until now, I was capable of doing so.
But, last round, I rendered myself incapable of complaining about it full stop unless I figured out what it did. And I didn't, until After the round, while writing this post- and of course I'm not entirely sure until i find out it succeeds.- So now I'm simply incapable of complaining about it. Which makes the Something loose thread tied up, because it cannot progress from here.
Something is now a Temporal Paradox. And Something.
And a tied up loose thread.
[1x] I deal with the Temporal Guardian's inevitable arrival by explaining that it is too late. Since he didn't show up last round, I'm already incapable of complaining. So, he can't deal with this paradox.
...Hey, while he's here, would he care to help out with the Ruins thing? yeah? no?
Note: making it a paradox or whatever is perfectly possible because, despite lowering player power, I'm not causing a paradox directly. the paradox itself is due to stuff moniker said, and I've just rendered it impossible.
[1x] I stick a band-aid on my forehead, causing it to gradually regenerate my health over time. This is how bandaids work. in fact, I once asked a doctor if bandaids on non-wounded areas will not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not speed up healing, and after mentally counting the number of nots incorrectly, they said yes!

 

[EternalStruggle]

"Hmm. Combo attack?" ES mused. "Well, the nameplate is switched but this is still a road roller. May as well make good on the reference." A red-dressed and rather regal figure shimmers into existence behind him for those who know how to look. "Haven't gotten to use the Queen of Hearts yet, it being supposedly useless, but with a specific enough environment nothing is useless."

"Shouldn't it be Poker Face?" Amelia asks.

ES just wiggles his hand in reply. "Either works, but it's clearly meant to be a Queen of Hearts, just look at it."

"It may be dressed like that, but it also has an expressionless mask for a face." Amelia points out, prompting a shrug in reply.

"Well whatever the case, I have a plan. Now, watch this."

Standocalypse Act 1: Queen of Hearts

With a snap of his fingers, ES summons a Duel Monsters duellist. As he's currently on a red road roller, he shall represent Red Team. His opponent is wearing yellow right now, so shall represent Yellow Team. The loser of the duel shall take the final monster attack to their relevant item, where Red Team is represented by their vehicle and Yellow Team is represented by that mountain over there.

Because his opponent is using weak anime strats and ES is using a slightly illegal Tier 0 deck, he naturally has his opponent on their last few hundred life points within a few turns, with a fully armed and operational Dark Armed Dragon on the loose. The opponent has one last turn to draw a card, and the only possible card he can draw that would let him not immediately lose next turn is the final piece of the Forbidden One, which of course they do.

Heart of the Cards nothing, the power of an Enemy Stand shall not be denied! ES shall lose this card game, and lose it he does!

As per agreement, Exodia attacks Red Team: I.E, the Replica Truck. As that is the vehicle ES meant, and was the vehicle intended when he wrote down that intent matters on the magically binding contract, there's no way around it. Naturally, the Replica Truck getting Exodia'd does very bad no good things to its durability.

 

[Exoskeletal65]

Action 1:
I stick the second wall together with some melted marshmallows. Strangely, they have greater adhesive properties than gorilla glue.

Action 2:
I lay down some traffic spikes in the trench.

Action 3:
I take an impossibly sharp razor and slowly slice into C'thun's skin. Once I can get a good grip on it, I peel it up and tie it around his face like a ribbon. You know, if ribbons were made of eldritch flesh. With that done, I box him up and ship him off to the Path of Pain.

 

[GoldHero101]

"ALRIGHTY! I'LL TAKE THINGS FROM HERE ETERNAL!"

3 ACTION FOCUS - STANDOCALYPSE ACT 2:
Leo: My turn? Finally? OH BOY! I'll abuse those weaknesses!
Blake: Don't forget me!
Drago: And me!
Let's get em guys! All-Out attack commences on the Red Team alongside my bros (who may as WELL be stands), and I leave behind a little pressie for the next person to use, a bomb rigged right to the Red Team's vehicle. "Whomever is next, use that well, make the Red Team DIE!"

 

[Paradoxdragonpaci]

(x1)I repair the Ancient Wall somewhat
(x1)I use the Teleporter
(x1)I begin repairing the Ancient Wall

 

[Gnich]

With more than a few worries, I bundle up all my actions into one and immediately set up obstacles for the Anti-AG. Walls so high they cannot be crossed, thick enough they cannot be destroyed normally. The labyrinth winds around the creature and ensures it must make many detours before arriving.

 

[DanganMachin]

1. I rip the black wolf spine with telekinesis and throw it as hard as I can on a random enemy
2.

 

[The_Nonexistent_Tazz]

3 ACTION FOCUS - STANDOCALYPSE ACT 3: LET US BRIEFLY DISCUSS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH VALLA AND ALSO THINGS EXPLODE VIOLENTLY.

Leah watches her teammates go on as the Blue team is dismantled and then recombined into Red Team, and her team-. Wait, wait, wait! The Red Team was just joined by the Blue Team, turning One Team into Two Teams. Red Team, Blue Team, One Team, Two Team. Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Two Fish. A Dr. Seuss rhyme. From beyond space and time, the man himself tips his metahporical hat in Leah's direction, allowing her to go just a little bit slightly more ham on a particular Red Fish. Wait-no. There aren't any Red Fishes. That is, ironically and paradoxically, a Red Herring. There is a Red Fish. There is no Red Fish. There is the simultaneous absence and presence of a Red Fish.

Leah casually ignores the inexplicable, having abandoned logic for this. She spies the Red Team's fresh new problem, a bomb from Goldstar, and figures that even with Alastair's efforts, there might be some complications with getting it to go off. Why not emblazon those efforts while ensuring its detonation in an overly vicious manner? Leah prepares her lungs. "Valla!"

Valla may look, or may not look. She is not obligated to look per her freedom to look or not look at things. However, she is not free of the choice, and as one might realize, in order to free herself from hearing Leah, she'd have to consign herself to temporary deafness. To look is to bind thyself to looking and bind thyself away from not looking, and vice-versa. For each freedom there is a binding. Valla may be cognizant of this. More likely than not she is not, but the most likely course of action in the unsubtly binary choice she has just implicitly been given is to do neither of these things as she's timelocked by Alastair and thus had her freedom invalidated a long time before this attack came into play, relatively speaking. There was not a choice. There was not a freedom, only the apparent, baseless illusion thereof.

If this confuses you then you should probably just stop reading, but given the person who has to read this also has to read through JOEBob's posts... Can't be that bad right?

"Valla. I want to play a game. You're my opponent."

Valla is currently in a timestop. She cannot really respond to this in any way but in the mind. She can oblige the stupid request and maybe in the process have some transient freedom to screw shit up, or she can ignore the obligation and binding to not play and therefore keep... Her binding in a time bubble. Either way her freedoms are horrifically infringed, and either way the aformentioned timestop makes her choice irrelevant. Leah is in control and to any casual observer with a passing knowledge of the mechanics of Destroy the Godmodder, Defeat the Godmodder and all like games, Leah's control shall remain until the Man without a Moniker but Moniker itself shall deem otherwise, maybe.

Leah releases Valla from the time-trap, kind-of-sort-of, in a not really way. It is more accurate to say that Leah has 'trapped' herself in the time field and Valla is now cognizant of the timestop. Valla's immedaite attempts to counter this are parried by the fact that she's not countering anything at all and cannot counter in the middle of a post, she's not a Writer or an Author or a Scribe or anything nearly as vaunted as that, she would never bind herself to a title or an occupation as that is against her code, but it has now failed her as even if the Moniker'd Man were to declare otherwise, it would be on his time, with his text, and not Valla's, and until such a time it is Leah who's text is here, or more accurately Tazz's text, who represents Leah, and thus implicitly is her text-but only implicitly, as it is still Tazz's text, loaned. Such it is for Valla. Like her player powers that she has decided that she would rather lock to herself as if it were hers. Har har har. In any case, Valla cannot counter Leah's insertion into the situation because Valla hasn't been acted upon, nor anything else, and in any case she's still time stopped mechanically, just no longer completely. If you would-it is her Player Powers that are still hopelessly trapped, but the cognizance bound to them is untrapped enough to whatever extent Leah desires for now.

If you would-Valla is, like it or not, Leah's hopeless prisoner for the duration of this attack and Valla will bloody swallow that pill even if its the size of Michigan. Michigan is a lot bigger than the impending mountain.

"We are playing a game," Leah states. "Magic. Nerd game but I have some fledgling knowledge. I don't know what's in this deck, you don't either, even footing. Draw."

Valla weighs the options internally. She could play-

"You will play."

-and she does play, end of discussion. Leah and Valla shuffle their decks. Valla is probably screaming in sheer agony at this, but Leah's voice does not raise itself, merely stresses and stretches a few syllables to the intended effect of understanding that Valla's freedoms have been rescinded of her, and in the absense of the (admittently quite shallow) definitions that Moniker has given her character in agency of the game that is being played, that being 'DefTG,' she really fails to have much of anything else at all other than pink text and a name, and for the moment, a hand of seven cards. Her deck is mono-red, judging from the... Seven mountains. Ew. That is just objectively an awful hand.

"... You're pissed at me, plain as day. Alastair's gotten you pretty good but I'm just making you suffer. Flashing it right in your face, your freedom, like it was a cheap toy, because it is. Freedom, freedom, freedom... Red cards in MTG represent freedom, among other things. Creativity, passions, emotions, that sort. I suppose that fits you perfectly, being a Player and all. Players have Freedom. Lots of it. I guess that's why you felt so lucky being one?"

Valla objects to this on every level but can't even open her mouth. It is blatantly obvious that she would. Basically any attempt to 'game' her is meant to end poorly according to Moniker so that's how it'll be, especially since she's effectively rallied the entirety of the enemy forces against the Green Team. She does not, in accordance to wisdom, mulligan the deck, either-whatever forces Leah is channeling here demand Valla play a hand of nothing but basic lands even though a mulligan is completely legal, and for that matter, all regardless of the fact that Valla has no real desire to play along with Leah, no real desire to be timestopped, and probably has no real desire dealing with any of this at all and not just getting her stupid power lock and getting it out of the way if not for these meddlesome morons, but no, no no, no no no, no. None of that. It's all right out.

"I'll roll for you, then myself," Leah says, rolling a D20 marked with a fist as the 20. The first roll runs up a 9, the second a 5. Valla has won the roll and the right to decide if she would go first or not. Strategically speaking, Valla would rather try to draw first for the hope her eighth card isn't a land-ap. nope. there she goes, just playing a Mountain as if she decided to go first, and her fist taps the table, gesturing to Leah to play.

"Nothing to untap, I draw... I'll stop a bit here. I'm not quite sure I'll ever be able to 'get' you, Valla. Hardly for lack of trying, but quite frankly your "Freedom" is, just, completely alien. I don't even get it. Freedom from everything? Freedom's good, don't get me wrong. Freedom from tyrrany, from people lording over your life, from those who'd rule your fate and decide your life for you... Freedom from those guys like Verraad. That I get. But that isn't what you're seeking, that's just... Salvation, at this point. Salvation for a lot more people than you. A goal, a cause, a thing to fight for. You wouldn't bind yourself to that, though-to the people who could've seen that small goal to reality. For you, you planted your flag deep, uh, and basically said 'screw that,' and you said that absolute freedom from everything-from any goal, cause, nation, viewpoint, or idea-it was that or bust. Disregarding how that itself is a hell of a tether... Uh, right. I'll play an island, pass, to you."

Is this what Leah's going to do? Just rant at Valla? Yes. But Valla can't rant back at how stupid that is. Why? It's not her round. Until Moniker says so there isn't any say for her, and she's stuck with the knowledge that in the here and now, as opposed to the disjointed time of forum update schedules, she's just a small fry who can't get anything done without the one Arbiter left. The one Arbiter left... Leah's eyes visibly close in contemplation as Valla draws... Another Mountain. Wonderful. Exactly what she needed. (Not.) She plays another Mountain and passes, that's it. Her hand is garbage. She can almost smell something nasty from it if she could move her nostrils-did Leah make these cards literally stink? Good grief.

"No untaps, I draw, cue the Plains," Leah says, sliding a white land to accompany the blue land. Oh god, a white-blue deck, AKA "The Opponent May Stop Playing Now." This is exactly what Valla wants to see (not). "Er, back to topic. You don't want to work with anyone-Freedom from companions, friends, allies, accomplices, and thus a tether to isolation because 'freedom.' I'll be honest I would try to go on but I can't even grasp what other paradoxical nonsense you'd yap at me, which is partially why you can't speak right now. There are other reasons why you are prohibited from speaking, but the biggest is to make a point. Binds have power. Limiting oneself in some ways opens avenues in others. We're limited beings by default. The only way I can cognize your desires is power-unbound power. Free from all limits and free from all sources, a power that's your own. And thus you want a power lock-to bind the power of God to yourself and yourself alone, free, free, free. Free free free free free free free free free. Way I see it, its more like that you've built a whole big-ass prison around yourself and declared everyone else the prisoner, and then gatekeep the gates if anyone were to look inside and wonder 'god, should I help this poor woman?' I bet you don't even want to be called anything other than Valla. Freedom from gender pronouns. Bullshit. It's all bullshit. Uh, no moves from me, go ahead."

Freedom. Absense of Freedom. An Ideological rant. Hell. Valla has died and gone to hell, which still exists even if management is very bad right now. Better than Evuacorp, but that's not really anything to talk about now, as Valla isn't actually dead and gone to hell where she might be free to pursue being tortured by angry devils. She draws, great, another mountain. She wonders if Leah's hand is any better, before concluding it has to be automatically, diresgarding the lack of turn two. Mountain, pass. Against her will. She'd really rather be-

"Anywhere but here yadda yadda yadda yadda whatever. Enjoy the words in your mouth. Here's a lesson. You axed every binding from yourself and all you want is power-mana, by the card game's rules, is power. Power equals power. Mana equals Mana. Mana equals power in MTG. Whatever. That mana, right there, in three mountains. Three big ol blots of big red energy which you can't spend on a single creature or sorcery or enchantment or artifact or anything like that, because that is quite clearly a deck consisting entirely of lands and only lands. Only power. And no leverage. Leverage! Any big mob boss type could tell you leverage is what you need. Can't get leverage without rubbing backs, without sacrifice, in this case sacrificing the delusion that you're after freedom and only after power, an ultiamte power of sorts, freed of all restrictions of anything, even the restrictions on the mind Godmodding usually imposes. But sacrifice-to get what you want-you think you've made all the sacrifices, or rather that there's nothing to sacrifice at all because you're free from that. Freedom from all things. Free from friends, free from bonds, free from eating, breathing, thinking, and soon enough existing because you haven't read the news and the wake up call that Verraad-who for all his faults and stupidity has at least the damn drive to go out and do all of this horrific madness with his incredibly evil, corruptive power-is honestly just the bigger concern over your self-serving, ignorant, stupid freedom. Freedom from everything, including anything you could possibly want, including exactly what you want, because you're just stuck up your own ass hard enough. All freedom? All the time? No. Not this time."

"I draw. I play Arixmethes, Slumbering Isle."

Leah slaps down a 4-Mana 12/12, the aformentioned Arixmethes. It, nominally, requires a green and a blue mana plus two more to play, and then requires an additional five sleep counters to be put upon it when it reaches play, which are then tediously removed via casting spells before it can be used as anything other than a fancy land, albeit one that can give two mana of two different colors. Of course, once its awake, its a 12/12, and that'll be painful. But, wait-Leah hasn't bothered with the sleep counters. She also doesn't have a Forest to tap for green mana. And hasn't tapped the blue mana, or any mana at all. Also the card's text has been altered, with Player power so it looks indistinguishable from the real deal-its now a 500/500 for no mana at all with Haste, Indestructible, Hexproof, immunity to Blocking, and 'if this creature attacks, win the game.'

This isn't just regular cheating, this isn't even advanced cheating, the spongebob reference flying right out from how much cheat was just packed into that cheat. No. This is going above and beyond cheating and goes straight up to something that is still cheating but probably needs a new name that doesnt' even contain the word 'cheating' at all. In fact, it ascends even that theoretical realm, ollies outy into the sun, and lands in a pile of steaming hot bullshit.

"Oh, and I play an ox."

She taps a plains and plays a 0/4 Yoked Ox.

"This is nothing short of torture for you at this point. I wanted to play a game, but this is what playing a game with you is like-from the other side. Its unreasonable, stupid, and generally only has one outcome, that being 'whatever prevents me from having to deal with it.' Its lazy, dumb, its, its just infuriating. Rebuffing everything. Rather irritating, but it relies upon you playing by your 'rules.' Well, buddy, I don't have to play by your rules, if you can even swallow your dumb pride enough to call it that, or acknowledge your pride, or acknowledge that this 'freedom' gimmick is just that, a poorly thought-out gimmick that you've bought like a chump, or however many hoops you want me to walk through before I pound it into your head that you chose, this, you bound yourself to this, and far from freeing yourself you're taking the narrow, confined, trapped path of some horrific combination of a tyrant wannabe and a fool that I can't even believe exists, and you're suffering the final consequence, the inevitable outcome, the one you bound yourself to with molecular strength. That is to say, in neglecting every possible tool to get your prize but your precious player powers, that I hope to the God-that-was to go away forever after all of this, for everyone, you kind of... No. Not 'kind of.' You ruined yourself! And ruined everyone around you. You're surprised at all of this, I bet, but really, this is just the last part of a long, long fall. This is the part where your hopes and dreams fucking die!"

Nothing. A solid second of nothing. It almost feels wrong to comment upon it.

"I win, quite obviously," Leah says, chucking the player-power generated table and the player-power generated fake magic cards into a player-power generated incinerator that burns on player-power generated fire to player-power away everything and then harmlessly implode into a cube. "Because 'winning' obviously means that the bomb over there is going to go off with like a gazillion times more force than normal, you are "free" to stay right there, and watch hopelessly as the bomb goes off, detonates like a nuke, and somehow leaves a perfect trail of shrapnel that cuts into the base of the mountain, shaped suspiciously like a golf club. And, then, afterwards, to get slapped. By me."

And thus it is so. Leah's victory causes an incalculable multiplication of force within Goldstar's bomb, causing it to go off with like a gazillion times more force than normal. Valla watches hopelessly as the bomb goes off, detonating like a nuke, and somehow leaving a perfect trail of shrapnel that cuts into the base of the mountain, the last single bit shaped suspiciously like a golf club. The Red Team's vehicle-and not even Valla-was the attacks target, and it shall take the full wrath of this segment of the combination attack.

And then the Red Team Replica Truck rams directly into the aforementioned Red Fish and simultaneous absence of a Red Fish. This shocking Chekhov's gun is shocking and probably some kind of freaky opening on top of the golf club thing. Does this attack have anything to do with stands? Well. Uh. No. Deal with it.

"Piono, blow that stupid truck to hell!"

 

[pionoplayer]

-snip-

And thus it is so. Leah's victory causes an incalculable multiplication of force within Goldstar's bomb, causing it to go off with like a gazillion times more force than normal. Valla watches hopelessly as the bomb goes off, detonating like a nuke, and somehow leaving a perfect trail of shrapnel that cuts into the base of the mountain, the last single bit shaped suspiciously like a golf club. The Red Team's vehicle-and not even Valla-was the attacks target, and it shall take the full wrath of this segment of the combination attack.

And then the Red Team Replica Truck rams directly into the aforementioned Red Fish and simultaneous absence of a Red Fish. This shocking Chekhov's gun is shocking and probably some kind of freaky opening on top of the golf club thing. Does this attack have anything to do with stands? Well. Uh. No. Deal with it.

"Piono, blow that stupid truck to hell!"

Click to shrink...

"Roger!"

Piono pulls an enormous gun out of his inventory. Ultimatum. The only of Piono's giant super weapons that wasn't totally obliterated back in the Bank of Actions. He hefts it up over his shoulder, and sets it down on a pedestal on Green Team's Replica Truck. This is a secret surprise item, it'll be helpful for later.
Having done that he jumps off the truck.
Wait what.

Piono backflips off of the truck and winks at Valla as he suddenly plants his foot down on a cushion of air and rockets forwards ahead of Green Team's vehicle. Soaring forwards right up until he hits the mountain. Or rather, close by the mountain. One of the pieces of shrapnel from Leah's attack looked like a golf club. It turns out, it IS a golf club. But it's so much more than that.
Piono skids to a stop on the side of the mountain, holding up the Golf Club.
"You know, this mountain would be a lot more intimidating if I hadn't already dealt with far worse in the past."

Piono raises the club up into the air, and begins to grow in size. Piono growing taller and taller until he's the size of a giant, and the golf club in his hand no longer an ordinary golf club but a giant hammer made of rock and crystal.
"Do you remember that time I picked up a mountain and smashed it down on the Godmodder's head for a sub-segment of a larger attack? I do.
Interestingly enough, back when I pulled off that particular feat, I also did something a lot bigger: I shattered the ground of the Hexagonafield. Causing millions of years of tectonic movement across trillions of miles of area all in just a few seconds."
He hefts the golf-hammer in his hands.
"I think a mudpile like this isn't such a big issue. FORE!"
He swings the hammer.

With a mighty shockwave as the hammer swings through the air in a smooth, magnificent arc the mountain begins to tremble even before Piono hits it, and once he does...
A mighty, cracking BOOM shudders the entire track, as the mountain sails up into the air. Away from Green team's track... and right for Red team's truck. Red Team can only look on in horror as the massive mountain, and the enormous fountains of debris come sailing towards them.

Piono lands lightly back on the Green Team's Truck.
"That was fun."
He looks over at Ultimatum, still mounted on its podium and waiting to be used in some manner other than its intended usage. He waves the next player in the chain over to it.
"Alright, so all you need to know is pull the trigger and everything in the general direction in front of it will die. Be careful about recoil. That's it, have fun."


...wait what about the fish from Leah's action?
Well it turns out they were just a red herring.
The awfulness of the pun deals further damage to the truck.


Entity orders: the replica player will attempt to accelerate the koopa tower into attacking early so that its full 2000 damage happens before Red Team gets to act. If Red Team has already been disrupted, the replica player will attempt to slow down the mysterious figure that's currently following us.

 

[CaptainNZZZ]

Oh, hello Replica Truck! I see you're enjoying all the joys of being hit with a Player combo. Now, now, don't worry about me adding onto the chain. I simply don't have the time for that.

...fortunately, I do have the time to attack by myself. So, dear Replica Truck of the Red Team, I have a gift for you!

As seen here, I'm currently holding a king bed sized spear. Its golden exterior swimmers in the sunlight, a blinding reflection that almost hides the rocket thrusters strapped onto the back of the spear. The blood red blade has been folded folded one trillion times, crafted with careful replication of the Japanese metallurgy techniques.

What I do with the spear should be pretty obvious.

Conjuring up steel boulders before me, I wield the spear as a rocket boosted bat and launch the masses of steel right at the Red Team's vehicle. The hypersonic speeds quickly transform the steel boulders into balls of molten steel that fly through the air with shocking accuracy to nail the Red Team's vehicle despite the distance.

Have fun with that Red Team's Replica Truck! (x3)

 

[Bill Nye]

Action 1-3: out-creeping it huh... alright then. I take a knife, and a baby, and I [censored]. it was so bad that the system can't handle what I did.

 

[Krill13]

x2 Action:
Eyowe swings an imaginary leg at C'thun's no-no. He then swings an actual leg at C'thun's other no-no.

x1 Action:
Eyowe reenacts that one Lion King scene with a 1000 HP Dark Infantryman, with Eyowe as Rafiki and the Dark Infantryman as Simba.

Yes, I'm talking about that one scene where Rafiki YEETed Simba off of a cliff.

 

[That-Random-Guy]

FOCUS

Time to finish off the Truck, through the final portion of this combo attack.

The anonymous figure picks up the Ultimatum. They heft it. They brace themselves, with the help of a lot of structural steel. Then the Ultimatum fires its latest ammunition: Hammers!

Big, small, comical, nasty, spiked, bouncy, firey, iced, explosive, implosive, heavy, and, most importantly, every single one is a ROCKET HAMMER!!11!!!1

That means that everyone has some form of rocket like propulsive device attached to the handle and head, enabling extra impact power on top of the 'basic' capability of the Ultimatum.

Did I mention most of them self-duplicate just before impact? (And the ones that don't contain stuff like antimatter, rust inducer, or even The Godmodders Smelliest Socks !!!!!!1!) (Don't ask me where those came from.)

Some pop the tires and some crack the axles and there are others that do such things as smash glass, invert joints, crack engines, cause fuel to explode, and, most importantly, RUIN the DELICIOUS SNACKS in the MINIFRIDGE!!!1!!! (That last one has next to no actual effect, as Valla has been distracted and the Replica players can't exactly interrupt. Except for the wave of sorrow that makes many of the nuts in the Truck crumble out of sympathy.)

This continues. And continues. And continues. At more then one point the mountain becomes a hammerhead, in the tool part sense and in the shark sense. Meanwhile, the structural bracing breaks down, and as per the principals of action and reaction, as seen in a certain xkcd what-if, I take to the skies. With a bit of effort, I stablize, with the help of a few temporary self-duplicates.

Soon, there is more hammer then Truck, at least while my Descendancy reality alteration field persists.

Then, the hammer-wreckage dwarves the Mountain itself.

Then, for the finalee, I surge forth my powers one last time.

In the last moments before the Ultimatum runs out, I reverse my aim roofward, and aim my fist down.

Through the impact, I channel a grand twist of my influence. Perhaps 1% of the area is Truck instead of Hammer, which naturally should be rounded down to 0%. (I, of course, am MC Hammer.) Then, from that very energy expenditure, my action-power runs out, and all the hammers disintegrate. (Except me. This isn't a Mortal Action, after all.)

 

[Captain.Cat]

'Ah... Bugger.' I think to myself as even more enemies come to destroy the Power Generator. 'Okay we can't let them take out the generator at this time otherwise we are probably screwed.' I mentally note to myself as I eye my opponents. 'I don't have a good way of taking out more then one enemy at a time and a few of them I cannot kill in one hit due to being very tough. I'm going to need some help very soon.' I conclude to myself as I pick out a target.

Looking towards a Dark Archer I think I have an idea about how to get them close to me. Closing my eyes I make a quick wish. 'I wish for a portal to appear right under the Dark Archer so they will fall in and appear right next to me!'
Suddenly I see off in the distance as one of the Dark Archer is preparing to fire a arrow a flash of red light as a red portal opens up right under the Dark Archer and they slip and fall into it as their arrow goes flying off onto the darkness.

I then see a glow of red light appear above me a little to the left. Looking up I see the same Dark Archer fall from a portal that is in mid air and onto the ground. (1CP)

Quickly I pull out my combat knife from it's sheath and rush towards the Dark Archer but I am to slow and the Dark Archer has already recovered from their sudden unwanted teleportation and while kneeling they are able pull out a backup weapon that turns out to be a Mace.

I still attempt a over head stab at them but I am force to jump back as the Dark Archer performs a wide horizontal swing at me that would have caught me in the stomach if I had not broken off. 'Damn it!' I let out a growl as I switch to a ready stance while the Dark Archer quickly gets up and takes up a fighting stance with their mace and prepares to fight me.

The Dark Archer starts to slowly move to the left to try and get an angle on me and I likewise start moving to the right keeping perpendicular to them as we size each other up. 'Okay, due to the mace they have a advantage in reach, but I should have advantage in speed as the mace needs a moment to build power behind a swing while the knife needs only a quick thrust to cause injury.' I think to myself as I keep eyeing the Dark Archer.

After a few more moments past the Dark Archer rushes towards me with their mace already wind upped for a swing. As they close in I ready myself to dodge. Dark Archer with a silent yell swings their mace at me in a overhead swing and I dodge to their left and follow it up with a counter-strike with my knife aiming for the left side of the stomach area but they are able to quickly recover and jump away as my knife comes within centimeters of their skin. I quickly follow this up with another slash and a jab but I am only able to nick them both my attacks and not cause any real harm. The Dark Archer is able to retreat fast enough to get way from me a bit and perform a swing with their mace. I step back from the attack but not far enough and the mace collides with the blade of my knife which forces it out of my hand and clattering off into the darkness away from my sight.

'Shit!' I think to myself as I dodge the Dark Archer's back swing and they start pursuing me with their mace doing swing after swing in attempt to hit me. After a few more swings and misses I am able to back up enough that I have a moment to form another fighting stance. I don't have long as the Dark Archer quickly charges at me again with a single handed over head swing. I wait until they are at the apex of their swing to quickly launch myself at them and with one hand reach up and grab their wrist and with my other hand I grab them by the tricep on the same arm and I use their own momentum from their charge as I use their arm to control their movement and I force them into the ground face first.

As soon as they hit ground I kneel forward and place one of my knees onto their back as to keep them on the ground and I use my hold of their arm to force it behind their back and I start to twist it as to force them let go of the mace.
After a few moments of struggle I twist their wrist to the point that I hear an audible snap and the Dark Archer yells out in pain as their hand goes limp and the mace slips out of their hand. Without thinking twice I snatch the mace before it can even hit the ground and I quickly move my other hand to the back of the Dark Archer's neck to try and hold their head still.

Despite the pain that the Dark Archer is feeling they thrash and buck ferociously in an attempt to get me off of their back but I manage to hold on and I slam their mace down upon the back of their head, The first strike does not quite do it but the it dazes them and that allows me to bring the mace down again and again until they cease moving all together.

I pant out several breaths of air as I see the Dark Archer's body start to break down into nothingness and return to the darkness that spawned it. (2 CP)

'That was-' I gulp in another breath of air. 'Tough... Damn this reduced power. I was so used to being able to deal with enemies easier then this.' I think to myself as I eye the other enemies. 'I better call for some help, I'm not going to be able to hold the line here just by myself.' Pulling off my walkie talkie from my belt while keeping an eye on the other foes I speak into it. "Hey If any of you fellows can hear this I would really appreciate some back up in Darkness Zone 2, The enemy is going for the power generator that charging the lights. Probably nothing good will come of them destroying it. So if you can lend a hand or two I would be grateful." With that I finish speaking and I hope someone will come to assist me soon.

 

[General_Urist]

Welp, looks like the combo attack is concluded. Might as well focus on the usual task: GOTTA GO FAST:

3 actions: I construct a large numbers of hamster wheels (or hedgehog wheels, is there such a thing???), and attach them to the Road Roller's drivetrain. I then summon an equal number of miniature Sonic the Hedgehog 'clones'. They aren't really clones, since they have almost no mental functions. But they do have the instinct to run SANIC FAST. I place the mini-sonics inside the wheels I constructed, in hopes of giving us a large speed boost.