Defeat The Godmodder

Page of Time · Dec 11, 2017

1/10 Churge

FOCUS!

The cheery girl decides to heal the Slot Machine by repairing it.

Crusher48 · Dec 11, 2017

I attempt to figure out what the hell is going on here, and I do it by taking a random PG and using enhanced interrogation methods on it.

Moniker · Dec 11, 2017

MooGoesCow21 said:
I kill Zeta

You walk up and stab Zeta! Let's review the evidence...

He had a Phone, presumably with a browser... and anonymous connection was going slower than normal!

He slept perfectly still, as though he had replaced himself with a dummy!

He was a janitor for the Large Room, even though it was JUST BUILT!

Zeta was... the PG SABOTEUR! You have succeeded!

Finally, the Space Station can begin to recover. The teal godmodding goop preventing everything from working begins to recede, and before long, replacement staff can be brought in, and the Space Station's functions can start coming back online. You've saved the Space Station! ...For now.

That-Random-Guy said:
First things first, I pass off the Starcalibur to Captain.Cat and ask him to perhaps help with the cooking contest. If we both put 3 actions and some decent fluff towards it, than an AG victory should be almost assured.

Then, I tell everyone that it would be really good if one or two people other than me and Captain.cat were to work on the Cooking Contest. It would provide us with a bit leeway, and I suspect that items made for the contest will be better overall. Also, it would be horrible if we were to lose the contest at this point.

I whisper to the wind: For Anniversarymas, I want an upgrade to the attack-redirecting properties of the portal gun in the quote above. (its in the player inventory)

If it is a free action, I use one of the medkits (at the bottom of the player inventory) on the Scarlet Prince.

I will do my real actions later.

You've handed the Starcalibur to captain.cat! But, captain.cat is currently taking a break from posting. So, it might be better if someone else has it. If he doesn't post this turn, then someone else can take it.

You reach into the present, and pull out a small chip... attaching it to the Portal Gun... it is now the REDIRIFLE, and it grants a significant boost to attack-redirecting actions! However, it now heats up pretty fast, and if you don't give it a break for a few turns between uses, you risk damaging it!

MooGoesCow21 said:
I reach into the present and grab out a better portal making tool

Instead of an attack-redirecting tool, you get a Portal making tool, the Miniature Doormaker Plushy - it can create portals to mysterious and wonderful places! Use it creatively!

EternalStruggle said:
The man considers the present, and decides to use it for good. He whispers to the wind, "I wish that I can find the most convincing informational pamphlet ever inside the present, and upon showing it to the currently Soulraze Builders, they will realize the error of their ways and join the Peacekeepers, along with their currently under construction buildings." Also, if relevant, it would be nice if the pamphlet contained counter-memetics to shut down any loyalty codes or cranial bombs or the like.

FOCUS - IT CARRIES ON

Using the Charge Booster once again, the man furthers his agenda, stockpiling resources at a far away location and preparing to move them into position when the time is right. Two more rounds, and he'd be able to activate the Dockyards and begin refining the Apex into the finest weapon of war the Hexagonafield had ever seen.

12/20

A projection of the man, sent forth by his mind, appeared before Xerath, wagging his finger and tutting. "Xerath, Xerath, Xerath! I'm afraid you overestimate yourself. I'm the only one who can get away with attacking AGs, it's a Player privilege I want to restrict. That's why I'll attack you now, and if your precious Alice gets punished due to your incompetence?" He smirks widely here. "Why, I couldn't care less! Do your best only to cry out when you fall, fool. Wash your neck!"

The projection disappeared as the Apex turned to fire. Its energy cannons, arrayed along its spine, turned as one to face the foe, skyward pointing barrels dropping down to attack angle. So too did the lesser, tighter packed railguns along the sloped armor plate below turn and depress their barrels. Naturally, there was an equal railcannon battery along the other side, but it could not be brought to bear. Such was the disadvantage of broadside design.

As one, the weapon systems fired, after taking a bit of time to acquire their target.

(This is fluff for the Apex attacking Xerath during the EotB, naturally.)

CHARGE BOOSTER ROLL: 9/19 It works fine.

You get the CONVINCING PAMPHLET! It goes into the Player Inventory! It looks like a pamphlet for Jehova's Witnesses, but it's for joining the AG side instead! Maybe you could give it to someone weak-minded to make them help you...

Apex's damage slightly boosted this turn! Xerath is utterly focused on fighting.

CaptainNZZZ said:
Reaching out to the Temporal Guardian I grant it limited access to it's own time stream, allowing it to alter it to a minor degree. In simple terms the Temporal Guardian can now regenerate its health every turn by selectively reversing time upon itself. (x2)

Finally I use my powers to make a wish that my entities that were evacuated will return to the HEXAGONAFIELD still under my control despite the fact players have lost their entities due to choosing Standard Processing Option in the past. (x1)

Whispering into the wind I say, "For Anniversarymas the only thing I truly want is the ability to make it so my entities will always remain loyal to me, despite whatever bribes, mind control, and the like others might try to take my entities for themselves."

I order the Temporal Guardian to attack the Void entities.

The Temporal Guardian now has a small amount of health regen! And wants to attack [V] entities.

Reaching into the present, you get an ENTITY BETRAYAL PUNCH CARD! On it is a slogan: "Every ten entities that betray you, get one entity back!" Nine out of ten holes are punched already. The next time someone betrays you, you can use this to return an entity to your side! Not perfect, but it's insurance!

Your processing response comes through...

EVACUCORP ENTITY STATEMENT:

CLAIM TICKET STATUS: DENIED
Reason: Ticket was processed after Ticket expiry update

However, you also get, thanks to your wish, a sidequest terminal update. It outlays two options you can take from here:

Player-power entity pullout:
You use your player powers to withdraw your entities immediately. The Buff While you Wait service will make them come back with stronger stats, to make up for the inconvenience.

Sidequest option:
You go on a sidequest to navigate the bureaucracy of Evacucorp and retrieve your entities! The Buff While you Wait service will make you get your entities back significantly stronger, and there may be more rewards as well.

hungry visitor said:
!Update! Attention this is an official update !Update! Very official! Serious business!

The carbonbased-lifeform that brought you this update right now can just be me, Moniker because only Moniker has control over updating, who else could've updated this?

How did I do this?
Well after finding out the secret identity of hungry visitor I visited him. How ironic! And decided to make this update with his account. Where did he go?

Hey hungry visitor! Did you just take over my account? Pretend to be me if you did!

Law of Moniker of the Hexagonafield can't be overthrown, but do you know the law of Moniker?

Everything goes after MY will! Nobody can say otherwise or I will declare your action as [NOT VALID]. That's all. Thanks.

Hey! No! HEY!

Oh dear...

Eevee shadow bacon said:
I wish for more charges to my summon.

You get +3 charges to your summon, no strings attached!

But I mean... that's like asking for money for christmas...

Daskter said:
I whisper to the winds... I wish for something that can increase my soldiers damage by a factor of their original damage... To increase their Firepower and get better armor

3 Actions:
I create a Massive Party Cake, it can satisfy thousands for Party
and it is absolutely the best for Parties.

Ingredients Include:
Deliciousness
Vanilla
Chocolate Frosting
The happy feelings from this turn

Recommended you eat with a group/party for maximum Delectability!

You make a Party Cake, with the taste of friendship and good cheer! Delectability Rating: 100: Great! It goes into Slot 7: Regen!

Reaching into the present, you pull out... a huge hoard of random upgrades and add-ons for the Starcraft army! Your soldiers become a little more powerful, a little more capable...

JOEbobobob said:
A Man by the name of Archmage Xilith walks to the HEXAGONFIELD.
Bleeding from his right leg and using his great Voidmetal capped Ichorium Stave as a humble walking stick, he hobbles towards the presents. after casting an obscure shield spell, he uses the wand focus: portable hole to retrieve a potion of instant health, drinking it quickly and sighing as his wound quickly heals.
He surveys the line of presents, looking for the one closest to dark, partially desaturated purple, and walks to it, radiating an aura of regale power... which literally everyone ignores because of his lack of power by comparison to anyone else on the field.
"I vipx gjo qxm csbdifaqijf jg dy ompmaocx, qxm kmogmcq vmakjf. qxm qaifq."
"Qxaq vxicx caf hmpqojy mumoyqxife, ymq rm tmkq aq ray ry qxip pidkbm gbjvmo."
"I vipx gjo a pifebm pxaoh, qxm qifimpq kimcm, tmymh qj dy pjsb. ifhmpqoscqirbm mwcmkq ry dy vibb."
"Afh pj I xaum paih,a afh pj iq pxabb rm."
encoding method. Key: Archmage Xilith.
Do not open the spoiler unless you can't get the encoder to work or, having quoted the post, it is auto-opened.

"I wish for the culmination of my research, the perfect weapon. the taint."
"That which can destroy everything, yet be kept at bay by this simple flower."
"I wish for a single shard, the tiniest piece, keyed to my soul. indestructible except by my will."
"And so I have said, and so it shall be."

Out from the present he pulls a globule of tainted substance, purple and dripping, though it cannot function so close to the flower which he holds. he runs off to a distant area of the HEXAGONFIELD, bringing his source of taint with him. this shall do nothing yet, or for a very, very long time.

/PresentClaimPostSemiNull

You get... The Taint. It's in your personal inventory, whatever you may wish to do with it.

The_Two_Eternities said:
"Awwwwwww-"

"... Well that sounds kind of mean."

Taking the present in the seasonal theme, I whisper to the wind. "I wish for something that the Second Scarlet Prince can cuddle, like a giant teddy bear." Then, I reach into the present and pull out what I feel, while revving up my jetpack in case it's something really tall.

"Simurgh, Second Scarlet Prince, Pack of Packed Wolves, Monkeys, there's been a change of plans. Everyone, attack Xerath!"

I looked at the cooking contest. "Hmm. You know, I bet the Foundation could do something pretty cool with

FOCUS: 914 AND PANCAKES

."

After sending the request back to the Foundation, I waited... and waited... Until suddenly a portal opened and two things came through. First, a platter with five delicious-looking pancakes and a stick of butter, and second,

Name: Dr. Clef
Date: 12/██/2017
Total Items: Thirty (30) identical buttermilk pancakes grouped into three (3) stacks (Other notable ingredients: Vanilla, cinnamon, ginger), six (6) unopened sticks of [REDACTED] brand butter

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Fine
Output: The pancakes were uniformly golden brown, due to the fact that they appeared to have been made by heat transfer from a fourth spatial dimension. The butter, after chemical analysis, was found to be completely chemically uniform.

Note 1: Not bad. Anyone want some before they spoil? Bright ate all the butter, though.
-Clef

Note 2: I did not! You did! And also, what just happened? I made a joke about the pancakes being hungry and they just spontaneously turned into pieces of paper saying "[NOT VALID]"!
-Bright

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Fine
Output: The pancakes displayed small cosmetic differences, due to the fact that they appear to have been made with a different recipe, with similar changes for the butter. Five (5) pancakes and one (1) stick of butter were used in flavor testing.

Note 3: Okay, those were a lot better than regular pancakes.
-Clef

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Similar results to the second test. The opinions of the researchers who consumed one (1) pancake and one-fifth (¹/5) of a stick of butter each in flavor testing are as follows:

Agent P█████ W███: [Excited gesticulation]
Agent M█████: [Excited gesticulation]
Agent S██████: "Meh. What's so special about them?"
Agent S█████ S. P█████: "I can't really taste anything."
Doctor Alto Clef: "These are really good pancakes."

Input: Five (5) pancakes from the second test, one (1) stick of butter from the second test
Setting: Fine
Output: Upon opening the output door of SCP-914, [DATA EXPUNGED] self-replicating [DATA EXPUNGED] emergency relative defictionalization [DATA EXPUNGED] when Mr. Davis was contacted, SCP-3086 breached containment when the conversation derailed into the subject of a blue cat [DATA EXPUNGED] But you know who pays a lot more respect to his characters than Mister Davis? My creator Saul Szyslak, that's who! He made every single panel absolutely unique! [DATA EXPUNGED] And- Oh. Oh dear. This place doesn't look friendly. I think I want to go back.

I turned the page over, and found some handwriting on the back. "Nice going. Now I have to avert the avertion of the assassination of Kennedy while wearing a teal chinchilla suit. -TX"

"Ooooookaaaay. Well, by process of elimination, I guess this is from the third test."

Still a little baffled, I enter the pancakes into the cooking contest.

You enter the FINE PANCAKES! Delectability Rating: 200 - Mmmm... They go into Slot 8: Special!

Reaching into the present, you pull out your gift to the Scarlet Prince... a GIANT BODY PILLOW! It's the perfect size for him! Whatever his size is! Giving it to him makes the Scarlet Prince happy and grateful! The Scarlet Prince gains a permanent boost to max HP!

Arsenical said:
Taking a short break from cooking, Arsenical wanders over to the box in the center of the hexagonafield. "Tis' the season, ey?"

There was a few things he could get. His memories back, Travelius back, hot chocolate, maybe a pony, but no. He could get all of that later. Right now, he needs one thing, and one thing only.

"For Hexagonamas, I wish... That I can be freed from all debts, and all oaths! I want to be freeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

While he waits for that to take effect (or some other effect, knowing our hero's luck), he decided to take part in some other actions.

Action Number One & Two: Humble Tea

Well, back to the cooking. He could only make one more thing, but what?

... There isn't many drinks.

So, Arsenical got to work. He pulled his mobile kitchen back into his pocket, and took out only a few items: A worn tea kettle, a set of chipped cups, a small jar of crushed tea leaves, and a comfy mat, for him to sit on.

The kettle is filled with water, and a fire is lit beneath. Our cook thinks of the tea, and of this time of peace. It's nice. With such constant war and destruction, you can forget what you truly want. It is a fragile peace, and it will wither away. But you can gain something from it before the battle is over. Just like tea.

Oh, the water is boiling. Better remove the heat.

Once the heat is removed, the water is poured into the teacups and pot, then the water is returned to the teapot. This was a step that was supposed to keep the cup's temperature consistent, or so Arsenical heard.

Finally, the crushed tea leaves are put into steep in the hot water. The fragments of the plant dance in the water, falling gently, until the rest at the bottom. These leaves weren't special. They weren't grown from a plant that was several thousand years old, or blessed by a god. They were, for all intents and purposes, just regular tea leaves.

But even the most simple ingredients can make a wonderful creation, if you put your heart into it. Knowing all of you, though, I should warn you that that's not literal.

Now, with the tea finely steeped, Arsenical pours the tea into four cups. This tea had no need for a name. It was simply tea.

Action Number Three: TNT! I'M DYNAMITE!

The now MOSTLY FULL-GROWN EXPLOSION ELEMENTAL considers exploding from the pocket.

... Eh, nah. It was comfy in here, and the guy was making tea. That would just be rude.

They kind of wondered how they still fit in the pocket, however, since they were much bigger then when they were a baby.

(5/10)

Reaching into the present, you gain the DEBT-FREE PREPAID ACTION VISA! You put it against your debt to the devil, and it runs dry after 2 posts worth. That leaves you with 2 posts to repay to the devil.

You make TEA! Delectability Rating: 110 - A nice break to drown all the others! It goes into Slot 9: Special!

pionoplayer said:
Ah, if me giving charges to other people doesn't result in me dropping in the neutraladder I'll stick around as an AG then.

Present: the improbabiltiy drive dings and instead of Piono pulling out something out of the present, the improbability drive follows some preprogrammed orders and pulls out "something that will enable Piono to go on a journey of self-discovery while still charging stuff outside of the sidequest... but not yet."

Piono looks out over the field.
"Hmm... I should probably help with the cooking contest. I'm gonna need all three of my actions for this."
Piono messes with his watch and temporarily deactivates the improbability drive.
Piono turns back to the three NPCPs.
"You guys wait here, I'm gonna try and do something crazy"
Piono pulls out what looks like a pizza with a face, then opens up the mouth and steps through it into his inventory.
The pizza's mouth closes and it winks out of existence.

"Alright... food... food... food... Maybe I can prepare something myself?"
"But I don't know how to cook!"
"Hm... maybe there's something around here that can help with that."
Piono begins looking and looking in the food section of his inventory, and finally finds a massive shelf full of cookbooks.
"Betty Crocker's Family Cookbook... 1001 Low Carb Recipes... Food of the Gods! This one looks promising."
Piono pulls the book from its shelf, flips through it, thne sighs and throws it over his shoulder. "Nope, just how to make different kinds nectar and ambrosia. I need something with PUNCH, not just magical endorphine exxageration."
Then Piono notices a light, he turns around, and on a pedastal rising up out of the ground is a cookbook, a cover that is the brown of perfectly cooked steak, with trim of purple the color of the finest of grapes and a golden color that reminds one of fields of ripe wheat, fresh and ready for harvesting to be ground, rolled and turned into the most magnificent of breads.
Piono lets out a low whistle and reads the title of the book. "How to Make Decent Food, by Caelli Apitii, high godking of the cooking pantheon."
Piono flips through a few of the pages, and gasps, "This... it's perfect!"

Piono steps through the pizza portal onto the battlefield, carrying the book under his arm, and a small cube with him.
Piono looks around at the festivities going on, and affirms, hey look! It's actually safe to do stuff. Glad he doesn't need to take up the deck of the Godslayer to make his work have the proper space with which to do things, he sets down the small cube, presses a button on top of it, then begins to back up as the cube rattles around and shakes up. A small voice is heard from the cube. "Hello, thank you for choosing the TechCore Corp instant kitchen. Please select the configuration you would like to use today." "Upscale Italian, please." and the cube shakes even more violently, suddenly exploding outwards into a kitchen with stoves, ovens, a refridgerator, racks of knives and cooking utensils, everything you'd need for cooking Italian food. Piono didn't back up far enough and had a countertop spawn on top of him, and has to lift it off of himself. Great start to the cooking show.
Piono, acfter getting out from underneath the countertop, drags the trash can over to the fridge and immediately dumps all the food into it, before triggering the built in incinerator function, burning all of the food to ash.
"Sorry insta-kitchen, I'm going to be using my own ingredients for this dish." He cracks his knuckles and sets out a menu, with a single item circled on it.
Spaghetti la Deus Rex with a side of Supreme Ceasar Salad and a fine vintage of Extrulean Wine

Action the first: Spaghetti
The first thing to do, is ready the spaghetti. There are four major parts to any proper spaghetti, the noodles, the sauce, the meatballs, and the cheese. We shall do these one at a time, with only the greatest ingredients and the best of cooking techniques.
First, the noodles. In order to make the finest noodles, we need the finest grains. Some would use wheat, some rice, both have their merits, but Glampesh, from the fourth planet of the star Perilon, reknowned for its nearly-glowing golden sheen and a warm taste that envelops the taste buds even once cooked, our first step is to grind up the Glampesh into a fine powder, with these powerful rollers I have brought out of my inventory. The rollers will grind up the flour, and while they are doing that we will begin on the sauce.
Now, there are few things like tomatos, so I will be using special tomatoes, juicy and red, grown under the light of a blue star from the future colony of Andross 5, they have more flavor than just about any tomato you will ever taste. So we set the pot of water (for all the ingredients needed, since the spaghetti noodles are going to need it too) to a boil while we cut the tomatos, and peel them, with a careful edge. It has to be a knife, not a laser edge, as the application of the intense heat might somewhat spoil the flavor of the tomato, fortunately, I have a deft hand. Flashstepping techniques, when applied to cooking, allow for much cleaner and quicker slicing.
We bring the tomato slices to a light simmer, and while they are simmering we move back to the noodles. The flour has been properly ground up, and so we mix it together with some pure salt. Nothing but NaCL, purified through a process of atomic reassembly to ensure no impurities reach into our meal. Anyways, light amounts of salt, mixed with the flour. Next we take an egg, now, I WOULD use a more exotic form of egg, however, chicken eggs are the base used for most Italian cuisine, and I can't change up that without risking having some of the chemical reactions in the cooking process going awry, so we shall remain with the chicken egg (properly selected from a stock of one million for perfect of course) and crack it open into a bowl, before beating it lightly, and then adding it to our flour mixture, mixing it thoroughly. Now, our mixture is a LITTLE bit dry, so, to moisten it up just a little bit, we add a smidgen of water.
Now, we take the dough, and on a lightly floured surface with more of our Glampesh flour, we knead the dough. Careful pushes and strokes to knead the dough to perfection. Once perfection has been achieved, we roll the dough out flat, very thin, and cut it into strips, which we then hang on the rack to dry a bit before we cook them into proper spaghetti.
So, the tomatoes are simmering, the spaghetti is drying, let's start on the meatballs. First we pre-heat the oven, so that that can be ready when we have the meatballs all set up. Meatballs are fairly simple, we simply take a variety of different foodstuffs and roll them together. Let's start with the meat, now, most meatballs use pig or cow meat, that's not exotic enough. Fortunately, at some time in the past, I killed a dragon and butchered it (really wish I could remember that it must've been intense) so I have plenty of meat on hand. The nice thing about dragon meat is that it is naturally spicey and somewhat sweet, so it doesn't really require THAT much extra seasoning to make it taste good, but there are still other ingredients required to make the ball. We have some breadcrumbs made from Glampesh toast (Glampesh, when combined with proper yeast cultures, makes a light, fluffy bread that is savoury and absolutely delicious) a bit of milk from the celestial cows of the cooking pantheon, a bit of that ultra purified salt from before, a power onion (known to make some people temporarily gain super powers) and a perfect duplicate of the perfect chicken egg from before. This is all mixed together in a large bowl with a few drops of Nectar. Not the kind that comes from flowers, but the grand food of the Greek Gods. The ultimate drink, it also works well as a sweet and savoury sauce.
We mix all of these together, and to roll them all together, we will use the rollers we used to grind the flour. But first we need to clean the rollers. A quick power rince from a fire hose with a quick dry of fire magic rerouted from the stoves gets all the food particulates out quite fast, with no water leftover, we just set it into the additional setting, and slide in our meatball paste. We wait a few seconds, and put in a tray, there we go, 12 perfect spheres of meaty perfection. Now, slide these into the fire magic oven to cook...
And now we go back to our pasta! We have it prepared, and now, our water (prepared from the holy springs of Antiqua, among the purest waters you will ever find. Don't worry, Antiqua is a practical goddess and does not mind her holy spring being used for culinary purposes) is at a steady boil. So we carefully slide in the spaghetti noodles, and allow them to cook.
While they are cooking, the sauce needs to be seasoned. The ultimate tomatoes we have, while impressive, are not enough on their own, so we shall use my special blend of 13 spice. A particular blend of Waluigi Thyme, Runner's Leaf, Avendesora root, bacon powder, Anthron (a kind of leafy plant), Sagesalt, Condensed Plastrith, Yellow Spice (yes its an uncreative name), Cumin, Ginger, Coriander, Cinnamon, and Black Pepper. Carefully stir the mixture of special spices into the dish, and voila! The sauce is done.
And with a bit of time manipulation inherent to the cooking suite, so are the meatballs and pasta.
We take the pasta and lay it down in swirls on the titanium plate (silver's for fools), and pour the sauce over it with care. Then plop the meatballs down in strategic positions. Next comes the cheese, which is actually, in this case, a special form of dairy-based ambrosia. It is of the highest quality, but I don't possess the facilities to make it on-site, so I had to just use some I had handy in my inventory.

The Spaghetti is ready.

Action the second: Salad
Salad is a simple enough meal to prepare, you take some lettuce, you tear it up and put it on a plate, right?
WRONG.
Or, well, mostly wrong.
It is normally pretty easy, you just forgot the dressing.
But we're not doing this the easy way!
First off, we need leaves of the most tasty variety, and surprisingly, Yggdrasil, the world tree, has leaves that have quite the flavor to them. The problem is that they come with a woody/waxy exterior. This is simple enough to fix. We simply take them over to the stove and simmer them for a while. The waxy exterior flows right off in the heat, and we are left with a single large leaf that can be broken down to make the proper base for a salad.
Now we move over to the salad plate, and add some ancient grecian olive oil, fit for the gods. Crush some special garlic, crushed in our rollers (once again cleaned out the power way) a pinch of ultra purified salt, a pinch of 13 spice, some striped lemon juice, a dash of nectar sauce, sprinkled cheese ambrosia, and of course, some of that Glampesh bread, toasted to a ripe brown-ness over an open fire pit into croutons, and sprinkled all over the top of the salad.

There we go, that was simple enough.

Action the third: Wine
Finally, we have the wine. Now, the vintage is actually a Discord Reannual grapes wine, which are grown a year in the future, and come up the year before. they are exceptionally sweet, and this vintage has a nutty aftertaste to it, sure to tickle the tastebuds. Normally reannuals also grant visions of the future, but for certain reasons the magical fixtures to the wine have been removed, which shall be explained later.
BUT! BUT!
As we all know, the REAL value to any good wine is the history behind it, not just the age. Any old wine can survive 100 years in an oaken cask at the bottom of a cellar that got bricked over and forgotten, nobody will care. It has to, at the very least, have been buried with an age old pharaoh in his crypt beyond time.
And this vintage has quite the story to it.
First grown during the tumultuous years after Lord Havelock Vetinari's assassination, this vintage is unique in that it's one of the few that was never actually planted, as thanks to the visions of the future the farmer got from drinking it, the farmer decided they didn't have enough time to actually get around to planting their crops and instead skipped country. This didn't help them of course, as they were later eaten by a camel while crossing the Klatchian desert (they got VERY lost indeed) Most of the vintage was sold off to various different noblemen, all of whom began scheming immediately as to how to best take advantage of the patrician's death, which, ironically, was what led to him being assassinated in the first place. The wine's visions became self-fulfilling. All but one case of it.
The farmer took this case with him, along with his numerous other possesions, just in case he needed something to sell later into his journey.
He never got to sell it on account of the aforementioned camel eating.
But providence was on the side of this case of wine, it lay undisturbed in the sands for almost a year before an adventurer, chasing rumors of the last case of the "Doomsayer Vintage" went out into the Klatchian Desert and, by sheer fortune, found the case left by the unfortunate farmer. Having found the entire purpose behind his expedition, the adventurer was able to head home early, and, unbeknownst to him, saving a fortune on hourglasses that he would've spent had his adventure continued onwards.
And so the case of the Doomsayer Vintage was brought back to civilization, where it was passed between a number of different hands before ending up in the vaults of Pseudopolis.
From which it was pulled by a defictionalization device.
You see, there was a certain rich man in the world who decided he wanted to try out the taste of reannual wine, and spent trillions of dollars funding research into how to defictionalize things. Some people tried to recreate reannuals themselves through quantum entanglement, others tried to research inter-universal magic systems, but in the end the only group that appeased him were the ones that reached into the pages of the book and pulled the very object from the story.
The only downsides to this was that it removed any and all magical qualities, and disabled any tech not compatible with the physics system within the current universe.
The man was ecstatic, he now had a vintage of wine straight from the pages of his own fanfic, with a rich and valuable history within a few years, and it was all his. And he tasted it, and it was even a good vintage.
He used almost all of the bottles on parties following up, safe in the assurance that he could just use his defictionalization device again should he run out...
And then the apocalypse came. A nuclear blast not too far away from the man's house rendered everyone within his household dead, and only the contents of the deep basement, including the last bottle of the doomsayer vintage, were preserved.
And there it rested for 200 years before it was dug out by a primitivized tribe of hunter warriors, who found the bottle of wine and set up a shrine around it, worshipping it as an act of pilgrimage.
I wonder how I got it in my inventory.
Oh well.
Regardless, here is your glass of wine, drink it, and remember the wonderful and terrible times this wine has been through.

And now you have your drink. One of a kind and immensely valuable.

You create the 10th meal: The ITALIAN MEAL! Delectability Rating: 280 - Flowers for Algernon Your Taste Buds! It goes into Slot 10: Damage Resistance!

Reaching into the box, you pull out the Sidequest Charge Token! If you go on and complete a sidequest, you can redeem the Sidequest Charge Token for 5 free charges!

Winkins said:
(Free Action)
I put up Christmas decor on my part of the HEXAGONAFIELD for the coming of Christmas with a simple eggnog machine to the side.

Settling down on my knees for for such occasion I Whispered to The Wind "May you be Strong Disco-orb chan, so we may meet in better circumstances in the future..."

(Action!)(3Charges)
(1 Charge)
Dusting off my knees of dust or whatever particles that may have gotten on my Robe, I look at the Slots I decided to pull one for this occasion.
(1 Charge)
Waiting for the slot to stop I turned towards my Siths and Bestow them some healing with the cat energy which still lingers in the air.
(1 Charge)
I beckon for the Catmancer Sith to help cast Catnap onto the [V] forces forcing all their units to roll a 6d to stay awake. (They just need to get higher than 2 on their dices to stay awake.)

(Orders)
Cat Siths are to follow their previous orders.
The Catmancer Sith is to use this turn to aid strengthen the effect of Catnap.

The power of the present strengthens your BOND. Despite the distance between you, you feel Disco-Orb Chan grow in power...

SLOTS ROLL: 4 5 4

You get a Minor Damage Ticket! Using them is a free action, so you can use them to damage any enemy you wish!

Cait Sith army healed to full! You use the Sith's turn and your action to cast CATNAP!

Gummy Worm Roll: 4 - Awake!

Monkey Roll: 6 - Awake!

Ronald McDonald Roll: 4 - Awake!

Your slots roll and sleep roll almost perfectly mimiced each other... that's gotta be some low odds!

Page of Time said:
FOCUS!

The cheery girl runs at Xerath and uppercuts him before slamming him down on the ground and moving to an armlock to snap his arm off.

Xerath runs over, picks up his arm, and pops it back on! Ow! 27,000 damage!

MrMirrorMan said:
Back on the Hexagon field, I single piece of paper is seen "I simple wish for a simple Man of Mirror: For a simple, working solution to one of the AG's problems."

You pull out the GODMODDER REPELLENT! An incredibly powerful artifact, it can do... well, a whole lot of stuff. You just have to figure out the right way to use it. It goes into your personal inventory.

Paradoxdragonpaci said:
I postpone my Alchemiter Charge 12/15

I FOCUS and start working on my Dish: THE ULTIMATE STEAK OF LEGENDS!!

Preparation step!!
I go looking for the ingredients for the ULTIMATE STEAK OF LEGENDS!! I will need the Sides that sastify all, the Sauce that perfectly complements and the Main Part, the STEAK THAT IS ALL! Also I need some UNIVERSAL INGREDIENTS that will be used for the Cooking and the APPLIANCES OF LEGENDS also for the cooking, I will also need the ULTIMATE CHEFS to actually cook the food

For the UNIVERSAL INGREDIANTS, which are the Herbs, spices and other flavourings. I have been shipped the Salt
from the Dead 7 seas of an alternate Dimension,purified by sunlight for 7 years and 7 Days, exposed to the Moonlight of the Full Moon only,done by the Pure Witch oF Oceans Who has gathered the saltwater with her Bare Hands
I asked politely for the pepper from the pepper plants grown on an Active Volcano, erupting for 13 years, on its Last Eruption, cultivated by the Unorthodox Monks of Time, headed by an Elder Sauceror specialising in Spice, crushed by hand , in a runic altar as a offering and a Eulogy to a Dead Food Goddess
I have finally bought The Herbs from the Hippies and Wizards in Ivory Towers Community Garden,grown organically,magically,glowing with Kindness and zapping with Magic, carefully and tenderly uprooted with Apologies aNd Words of Numbing, Carefully packaged in Arcane Paper and Sent to the Shop in the City of Cheliver, where it sits in the ambience of the City that's both Noisy and peaceful for a year and a day

Next, for the APPLIANCES OF LEGENDS, I will need the PLATINUM FILTER,SAUCEPAN,FRYING PAN and some EVERLASTING DRAGONIC FIRE.

The last one is easy, I just turn into my Dragon Form and breathe out Everlasting Fire and turn back into a human,simple. The Fire heats all equally making it an ideal source of heat for the cooking.

Next the Platinum Everything-Else, I will need to get those from the the Goblin Mines, as the Goblins don't quite like Humans or Dragons, I will have to steal it.Hiding myself in an Invisibility Cloak, I quietly trode to their Storage Chamber and use a Skeleton Key to open it,I then steal some unrefined chunks of platinum ore and escape the mines as quickly as possible before they discovered the missing ores. I then use my paradoxify skills to summon forth the Ghost of Smelters Future-Past, Past-Future , Future-Future,Past-Past and Now-Now. I then ask them to use their Ghost Smelting Powers to smelt the Pure Ghost material of the Platinum Ores into the Filter,Saucepan,Oven and Frying Pan. After doing so I thank the Ghosts and dismiss them before doing a Ritual to Paradoxify the Real Pure Platinum Versions of the equipment.

I then Trick and Persuade some Elementals, Embodiments and Spirits to Enchant the Equipment to Burn away Evil and other such Negativity.

For the Potatoes and Broccoli for the Sides,I head to the Garden of Eden and ask the kind Archangel there to help me pick some Platonic Potatoes and Broccoli of the Heavens

For the Sauce, will be using a Garlic Sauce,for the Garlic,I get the first Garlic cultivated by the Zen Monk of Truth meditating for 1111 consecutive years,living on the Mountain of Despair in the Continent of Depression and Hopelessness,surrounded by the Seas of Hate and Doom

And for the STEAK THAT IS ALL!! I went to the Divine Butcher, to get Steak from the Enchanted Golden Apple Cows, Enchanted by the Creatve majicks of Minecraft, fed on Grass by Terraria, Watered by the Waters of Creation which is created in the First Sun in a Multiverse in the Plane of Creatio, given Life by the Creators and Architects,ifused with Hope,slaughtered in their sleep to prevent suffering, the Steak is infused with the essence of Hope,Creativity and the innate Healing properties of the Enchanted Golden Apple Cows
Recruitment Step

I call out for help for cooking the dishes,I thus recruit the following in assisting the Cooking:

Cooking Mama
A Gamer who has Maxed out and Prestiged Cooking 3 times over
Charity Carpenter from The Dresden Files
Jarlsberg the Chef-Magus from the Kingdom of Loathing
Shirou Emiya,Rin and Sakura of Fate/stay Night
Jake the dog from Adventure Time
Pinkie Pie
Greedy Smurf

Actual Cooking!

I set my assistants to their tasks after first placing that Platinum saucepan and Frying pan on the EVERLASTING DRAGONIC FIRE and having the Platinum Oven properly pre-heated to 250F

First,the chefs season the raw steak with salt and pepper and some crushed and uncrushed herbs on all sides before placing it on a wire grid with some baking sheets underneath it and the baking pan,secondly we let it refrigerate the steaks uncovered overnight to dry out their exteriors and marinate the Steak, however as we are pressing for Time, i will set it to marinate off now in a pocket dimension with a time ratio of 720:1.after waiting for a minute,i removed the Steak.
Secondly,the chefs put the Steak(including the herbs and stuff) into the oven and waited for around 27 minutes until their refined Senses tell them tha the Steak is "done", that is the the internal temperature is around 118F.
Third,the chefs remove the herbs before placing it into the frying pan, prepared in advance with a tablespoon of vegetable oil or other high-temp-friendly oil before setting it to preheat,strting to smoke just as the Chefs put in the Steak with a tablespoon of butter as well.They then started tocook, swirling and lifting the steak occasionally, until the Steak is nicely browned on the first side They then Flipped the steaks and get the second side, then held the steaks sideways to sear their edges.Te roma during this is indescriable, ok maybe thats a slight exageration.It smells like the herbs,the butter and the steak cooking all combined into a melting pot of Aromas that tingle the senses and makes the mouth water,i know mine are,you ca nearly taste the steak just with a whiff of the scents.The steak is now done medium-rare,now onto the sides.There is an Aura surrounding the plate that is holding the majestic meal, it becomes made of Ur-metal.

For the Platonic Potatoes, i set th oven to 220F andlet the chefs work thir magic again,literally in some cases.They cut the potatoes in half lengthways, then cut each half into 1.5cm-thick wedges and place in a large bowl. Added the 2 tablespoons of olive oil, salt and pepper and used clean hands to toss the potatoes until they were well coated with the oil.They then Spread the potatoes in a single layer over the lined tray and drizzled them with any oil remaining in the bowl.The chiefs the put the tray into the preheated oven for 10 minutes. They then reduced the oven temperature to 200°C , turning the potatoes every 10 minutes, for a further 33 minutes .For the Broccali,they snapped them into medium-sized florets.They then put the florets into a steamer or colander set over the Platinum saucepan full of boiling water. They then covered it with a lid steamed for 5 mins.After that they drizzled some melted butter over the Broccali of the Heavens,somehow there is a Ray of Sunlight shining on the dish now.

For the Sauce,the chefs Placed the garlic, salt, lemon juice, vegetable oil, and olive oil into the saucpan to cook for a few minutes, before adding in some potato starch,thcikening the mixture into a creamy texture, this will be our sauce.However this where my part plays in,i gather some paradoxical energy nd then use the platinum filter to filter all the bad stuff from the energy, i then infuse the sauce with the energy.

i then assemble the full meal,Legends hold that this meal is the Sublime,and is the most delicious steak anyone will ever have,the Medium-Rare steak is perfectly even in colouring and in taste which is said to have knocked giants off with a tiny morsel,the sides have been tasted and then Blessed by the numerous Spirits of the Underneath,for the sauce,the gods may even die for a chance to even taste a drop of its garlicy-godness.

I Whisper to the Wind for a Blessing,Hope in the Worst of Times and an Assurance that there will be a Happy Ending

You prepare the ULTIMATE STEAK OF LEGENDS! Delectability Rating: 250: Truly Legendary! Your steak replaces the Weird cake, which goes into the Player Inventory as a free action healing item!

You reach into the present... and... no, you're not grabbing hold of anything, maybe if you just reach a little more...

You withdraw your hand, defeated. Nothing. You can make another Anniversarymas wish, you think.

gilded king said:
Action FOCUS :
I chuck a gae bolg , a cursed spear that invokes an image of lightning straight at Xerath . It's forms turns into something strange like as if someone dyed a bolt of lightning blood red and forged into a spear , as if it broke apart and became what it originally was . It twists and spirals like a mad dog constantly rewinding casualty until eventually it bits deeps AND RIPS STRAIGHT INTO HIS HEART . The spear returns unnoticeably bloodier , crackling with red lighting into my hands .
(Note : ooc : please read the article so helpfully hilighted to understand all of its details )

UNIVERSAL SUPLEX : 8/10

20,000 damage to Xerath!

hungry visitor said:
-fake UPdop snip-

Oh NO.

As soon as the fake update is posted, co-inciding with the real update, the path of the HEXAGONAFIELD splits into two timelines. The real timeline, wherein Moniker continues to preside as QM. And the Doomed Timeline, where Moniker ceases to exist, all his functions taken over by Hungry Visitor.

Crap. Doomed Timeline player groups tend to go on quests to duel the Players in the REAL timeline, to kill them all and take over their functions! It's always super awkward when that happens... no choice. I'll have to destroy the Doomed Timeline right now. The energy penalty for doing that is 4 godmodder health, but I mean, it's more than worth it to not have two sets of Players running around godmodder, I'm sure. Right? Well, you don't have a choice. Timeline... DESTROYED! 4 damage to the godmodder!

Okay. That is IT. From now on, any attempts whatsoever to take over the QM's position or duties are BANNED! No more fake updops, or Moniker takeovers! This arc is over!

Cyanogynist said:
Terry: "OH COME ON I OVERSLEPT AGAIN"
----
Terry: "for hexagonamas i want a bunch of cool swords, i guess"
Terry: "really just out of ideas"
----
FOCUS!
Terry whacks Xerath repeatedly with his microphone-staff. Remember that?

25,000 damage to Xerath!

Opening the present, you get the COOL SWORD! Give it to any entity to give them a significant boost to their regular attacking power! Or sacrifice it to gain a major one-time damage boost to your own attack!

hungry visitor said:
I use the X-blade to cut myself and get some blood on the Statues of me that were named Moniker, but now maybe are no longer named Moniker.

The statues seem to be alive... of course I knew that. Why else would I get blood on the Statues?
The inner Initiator heals the wound instantly and now I got a lot of Driver pillar men.

Attack shield the Driver pillar men.
They should be able to absorb anything that has mass, but better be save than sorry.

X-blade super combo!
Time to make use of these no longer ultra rare X-blades! Me and the pillar-mes shoot blinding rays out of the X-blades.
They free the soul of the body, which weakens and kills the enemy.

Alright, I think I'm gonna have to ask you to do these actions next turn. Trying to take over the QM's position uses all three actions, fun fact.

Page of Time said:
1/10 Churge

FOCUS!

The cheery girl decides to heal the Slot Machine by repairing it.

Charging and then doing a FOCUS! means your focus gets 2 actions. Charging takes a full action, don't forget! Slot Machine fully repaired!

Crusher48 said:
I attempt to figure out what the hell is going on here, and I do it by taking a random PG and using enhanced interrogation methods on it.

You grab the Snake Charmer:

You: I KNOW YOU HAVE INFORMATION! TELL ME!!!!!!!

Snake Charmer: No! Please! I'm just a mindless drone of the godmodder's! He didn't give me any briefing or information but to kill you!

You: YOU'RE LYING! RRRAAAAGHHH!

You butcher the Snake Charmer, killing them!

--------

Cera orders an attack on Xerath, firing one of the guns himself! 5,000 damage to Xerath!

Cera: I'm not sure what to wish for... anyone have any suggestions?

Ash finishes his charge! Minecraft dirt blocks appear out of nowhere, flying towards the unprotected Shadow Portal! They completely cover and seal 4 of the portals! Jamie continues charging...

Xerath targets Simurgh! In a whirling tornado of blades, Simurgh comes out with 20,000 HP!

V:

Ronald Mcdonald bops the completely unprotected Barrel of Monkeys, destroying it! The monkeys finish off their barrel-less enemy counterparts. The gummy worms split up to attack the Scarlet Prince and Grog Strongjaw, taking an attack shield from each of them! The Shadow Portals spit out 2 new monkeys and 2 new gummy worms... looks like they'll speed up if you don't close them!

AG:

All of The_Two_Eternities entities attack Xerath, leaving him on the verge of defeat!

Jamie: XERATH! GET BACK TO OUR TEAM! YAH!

The Godslayer activates TARGET STRIKE! Homing in on Xerath, launching... the GREAT MISSILE. It's really great, and lands a final hit on Xerath! 70,000 damage!

But when the dust clears... a small shield has appeared around Xerath, at the last second. The godmodder's about to teleport him away. He's making sure you don't auto-convert him. Xerath remains with 1 HP...

Xerath: All of you... I hate you all, with your torments... I'll beat you, and save Alice...

Xerath is warped out. He's gone for the moment, licking his wounds, and possibly getting a healthy dosage of godmodding power for next time. And the Soulraze Headquarters is open for attack.

Pike heals the Scarlet Prince! Grog Strongjaw and the Starcraft army team up to take down the Soulraze builders, ensuring that they don't try for a last-minute comeback!

The Space Station, back in business, once again has its cooldowns start ticking down and the quantum computer start ticking up. With all the staff reductions though, it's slow going.

PG:

The snakes bite Grog Strongjaw, for 3,000 damage. The soulraze HQ puts out 25 new builders, what little good it will do.

The godmodder decides: It's time to look at the cooking contest banquet! Let us CONCLUDE!

The banquets are revealed!

Player dishes:
1/HP: Cheesecake of Life: 210 Delectability!
2/HP: Love Ramen: 90 Delectability!
3/HP: Ultimate Steak: 250 Delectability!
4/A: AMAZING Ice Cream: 80 Delectability!
5/A: Burning Bulgogi: 140 Delectability!
6/Dodge Rate: Combo Dinner: 270 Delectability!
7/Regen: Party Cake: 100 Delectability!
8/Special: Fine Pancakes: 200 Delectability!
9/Special: 110 Delectability!
10/Damage Resistance: 280 Delectability!

Total Delectability: 1620!

Godmodder dishes:
1/HP: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
2/HP: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
3/HP: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
4/A: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
5/A: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
6/Dodge Rate: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
7/Regen: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
8/Special: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
9/Special: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!
10/Damage Resistance: Perfect Flavor Cube: 100 Delectability!

Total Delectability: 1000!

But... how? The godmodder's food is OBJECTIVELY PERFECT! Who needs variety when one can achieve such amazing flavors without creativity... But... there's nothing the godmodder can do. Your dishes are simply more delectable than his. And... that... means... that...

It's time to proceed to: COOKING CONTEST PREVIOUSLY UNNANOUNCED SECOND ROUND!

Suddenly, all 20 dishes from all 20 slots rise up... they fuse together, into two writhing masses that twist, warp, and finally, settle down. Your and the godmodder's dishes are in the shape of two opposing chefs, ready to duel each other with cooking utensils! The stats of each are made up from the delectability ratings of the dishes in the various slots pertaining to specific entity attributes! Now, your dishes were more delectable, so this is easy, right?

WRONG! The godmodder spends his action giving his entity buffs... doubling all its stats! Now, your two Foodies stand opposing each other, ready to tear each other apart... but the godmodder's is stronger! Help your Foodie win the duel!

What's more, the godmodder also unleashes his 3-charge summon he didn't last turn! It is the ANTI-AIRCRAFT TURRET! It does massive damage against Air-based allied entities... LIKE THE GODSLAYER! Moo wah hah hah!

Ash sighs...

Cera: Well... Now's as good a time as any to use Collide!

N:

The Cait Sith charge the PG snakes and kill them! The Apex, with Xerath dead, fires on the Soulraze HQ! 28,000 damage! The Temporal Guardian attacks both horde entities on the V side, killing 2 Gummy worms and 3 monkeys!

--------

A quick reminder to the players who haven't opened the present yet: Nanosoldier! Sunbreaker! Gilded King! Page of Time! Ranger Strider! Captain.cat! And Corebrute! And anyone else who hasn't opened it yet. Do it this turn!

---------

ITINERARY:
-Defeat The Godmodder! Damaging him gives you a shot at a legendary weapon! A musical instrument-related method...
-Find a good target for Godslayer's Collide ability! The Anti-Aircraft Turret looks like it's about to try and destroy it!
-Defeat Xerath and the Soulraze Forces! Just need to destroy the HQ, now.
-Win the cooking contest to keep Starcalibur! Help the AG Foodie defeat the PG Foodie!
-Open the present and get your gift!

Minor tasks:

Protect the Space Station! It can gain helpful support abilities!
Protect the SCVs building Starcraft buildings!
The Slot Machine can give you buffs or debuffs.
The monkey barrel gives a new minion each turn!
The Soulraze builders and their contraptions are high priority, buffing the main Soulraze army!
Pike is healing friendly entities!
Close the shadow portals! They're spawning [V] entities!

THE HEXAGONAFIELD:

COOKING CONTEST:

[AG]Foodie: 550,000/550,000 HP, 44,000A, Special: Dinner's Ready(ready in 3!) (27% dodge rate)(+1,000 HP per turn!)(-3,000 damage from all attacks!)

[PG]Foodie: 600,000/600,000 HP, 80,000A, Special: Dinner's Ready(ready in 2!)(20% dodge rate)(+2,000 HP per turn!)(-2,000 damage from all attacks!)

MYSTERIOUS PRESENT:
Opened by: MooGoestheCow, ThatRandomGuy, EternalStruggle, CaptainNZZZ, Eevee Shadow Bacon, Daskter, JOEbob, The_Two_Eternities, Arsenical, Pionoplayer, Winkins, Mr Mirror Man, Cyanogist

[AG]Godslayer: 200,000/200,000 HP, 22,000 x 2A, Specials: Target Strike (ready in 5!), Collide (ready!)(Boss)(20% dodge chance)(protected from 1 attacks)(2 votes: Godmodder attack, needs 4)
[AG]Cera
[AG]Ash
[AG]Jamie(Has minor healing ticket)(3/4)

[AG - MooGoesCow]Space Station(25% dodge rate)
Shield array(protecting space station)
Super Laser: Can unleash 25,000 damage support attack(ready in 1!)
Reinforcement Beacon: x5 Space mook deployment(50 HP, 50 Attack)(ready!)
Anti-Mind control Beacon: protects Space Station from mind control
Portal Frame: Mysterious Portal(166% open)(+33% open per turn)
Very Large Room: Quantum computer: 11% complete (cost: 20)
Space engineers+1: 100/100 HP x 60(building space station!)(x1.4 effectiveness)
Winry: 6,000/8,000 HP, inventing skills! (1 teleport vest)(worth 30 engineers)(operating Crime Lab)
Lament the Technician: 20,000/20,000 HP (worth 30 space engineers)(AI building ability)

[AG - TheTwoEternities]Scarlet Prince: 67,000/70,000 HP, 20,000A (-3,000 damage from all attacks)(protected from 3 attack)(+3,000 HP per turn)
Wolf pack: 2,000/2,000 x 5 HP, 2,000 x 5A
Simurgh: 25,000/45,000, 13,000 x 2A (40% dodge chance)

[AG - Daskter]Starcraft Army(12,500 TA)(protected from 5 attack):
SCVs: 50/50 x 43 HP(schedule: Get to 10 barracks, then build factories)
Marines: 200 x 30 HP, 150 x 30A(12 guarding Space Station!)
Marauders: 400 x 10 HP, 250 x 10A
Hellions: 400 x 10 HP, 350 x 10A
Orbital command centers: 8,000/8,000 x 1 HP, 2,000 x 1A
Command centers: 5,000/5,000 x 1 HP (+1 SCVs per turn)
Barracks: 3,000/3,000 x 8 HP (+1 marine each, each turn)
Barracks: 2 complete each turn (1 builder = 5.5%)

[AG - Ranger Strider]Grog Strongjaw: 22,000/25,000 HP, 10,000A
Pike: 10,000/10,000 HP, +10,000A(healer!)(protected from 1 attack)

[N]Slots Machine: 50,000/50,000 HP

[N - EeveeShadowBacon]TF2 Zoo (Flashy)(Defended)

[N - Winkins]Sith army: 10,000/10,000 HP, 4,000A(x2 damage against Snakes)
Catmancer: 7,000/7,000 HP, 3,000A(leading Sith army!)

[N - EternalStruggle]The Apex: 65,000/65,000 HP, 25,000A (+1 repair drone/turn)
Repair Drone: 100 x 1 HP(+500 repair per turn!)

[N - CaptainNZZZ]Temporal Guardian: 45,000/45,000 HP, 7,000 x 2A, Special: Za Warudo(ready!!)(-1,000 damage from all attacks)(20% dodge rate)(+2,000 HP per turn)(1 teleport charm)(protected from 1 attack!)

[P]Peacekeepers(822,175 total attack)(Unbribable)(protected from 2 attack):
Tower: 30,000/30,000 HP(protecting Peacekeepers)
The Negotiator: 10,000/10,000 HP
Riflemen V: 100 HP x 999, 225x999A(+3 squad leader)
Machine gunners VII: 250 HP x 999, 600x999A(+3 squad leader)
Medics: 125/125 x 999 HP, Healing A(+3 squad leader)
Squad leaders: 100 x 10 HP(3 leading riflemen, 3 leading machine gunners, 3 leading medics)
Engineers: 10 HP x 999(constructing Special power Armor suit, done in 2!)(adding turret to tower, done in 1!)
Scientists: 10 HP x 999, re-researching Godmod armor(done in 3!)(researching improved machine gunners, done in 1!)
HQ: 20,000/20,000 HP x 2, calling in 999 commandos(done in 1!), filing land expansion permit(done in 2!)
Shield generators: 15,000 x 6 HP(Adding 1 attack shield each every turn!)
Barracks II: 30,000/30,000 x 3 HP (producing Riflemen x 999 for death-elite training camp, done in 1!)(producing squad leader x 989, done in 1!)
Bar/Brewery
Death-elite training camp: 100,000/100,000 HP
Special Weapons depot: 40,000/40,000 HP (upgrading grenade launchers, done in 1!)
Possesses infinite plastic, anti-godmodder bullets(equipped), anti-regen bullets, Grenade launchers(equipped), Anti-Mind control, Upgrade Limit Break Eternity, Dual Pathways, Godmod building plating(equipped)

[SR]Soulraze Foot Soldiers: 1,000 x 0 HP, 1,000 x 0A

[SR]Soulraze Builders: 800 x 25 HP
Barracks: 76% complete (1 builder = 2% completion)
Super Barracks: 0% complete (1 builder = 1% completion)
Regen Generator: 12% complete (1 builder = 1% completion)
Anti-Everything Turret: 0% complete (1 builder = 1.5% completion)

[SR]Soulraze Guard: 3,000 x 0 HP, 250 x 0A (not currently protecting anyone - getting in the way of all AG attacks!)

[SR]Soulraze Headquarters: 44,000/100,000 HP (+25 builders each turn)(Thresher Maw, -8,000 HP each turn)

[PG]Anti-Aircraft Turret: 250,000/250,000 HP, 3,000 x 10A (x10 damage against airborne entities!)

[PG]Godmodder: 209/300 HP(Status-Effect Boost buff ticket)(Yorehammer: Bypasses defenses)

[V]Shadow portals: 100% open x 6 (spawning minions each turn!)

[V]Gummy Worm army: 3,000 x 7 HP, 2,000 x 9A
Monkey army: 2,000 x 4 HP, 2,000 x 7A

[V]Ronald Mcdonald: 8,500/20,000 HP, 10,000A

Player info:

Captain.cat(has King of the Hill)(Starcalibur - x2 actions)
Corebrute(lightly wounded)
MooGoestheCow (Charge: 1/???)
[N-2]Eevee Shadow Bacon(New charge: 19/100)(effect-curing power)
[N]CaptainNZZZ (Entity Loyalty Punch Card - redeems one disloyal entity)
[N]EternalStruggle (Increased HP)(12/??)
Hungry_Visitor(Ascendance)(New being - gets 1 attack shield)
The_Two_Eternities(Starcalibur: x2 actions)
That-Random-Guy(Echolocation)(protected from 4 attack)(1/5)
Arsenical(2 posts in debt!)(5/10)(Protection from Demons - protects from devil takeovers!)
[N+1]JoeBOB
Ranger_Strider_
Daskter
Page of Time(1/10)
[N]Mr Mirror Man(5/10 charge)(1 +2,000 Attack token)(Godmodder Repellent)
Cyanogist(lightly wounded)(Cool Sword)
gilded king(8/10)
Pionoplayer(Sidequest Charge token: Complete a sidequest to make worth 5 charges)
[N-1]Darshelenas Sunbreaker(lightly wounded)
[N+1]Winkins(3/10)(+1,000A Iron sword)(1 10,000 damage token)
Paradoxdragonpaci(protected from 1 attack)(Flight Power)(12/15)
Nano Soldier 2016(behind cover)(has M16, Body Armour)

Player Inventory:
On Players and the Nature of Creativity
Dragonballs x 7(made from Melodic transmitter x 2, Charge Stone x 5)(can be combined to make one wish!)
Melodic transmitter x 3
Temporal Condensor(makes charge stones)
Charge Stone x 12
Redirifle
Miniature Doormaker Plushy
Charge Booster (damage: 1/20)
Bravely Default Asterisks
Medkit x 3
Convincing Pamphlet
Weird Cake(+10,000 HP, free action!)

The Cooking Contest is separate from the rest of the battle going down on the HEXAGONAFIELD. The godmodder will be helping his Foodie wholeheartedly, so don't expect it to only take an attack shield every now and again plus some waiting! The godmodder wants to get Starcalibur back, and he's really getting quite impatient...

The_Two_Eternities · Dec 11, 2017

"Pack of Packed Wolves and the Simurgh, attack the Soulraze Headquarters! Second Scarlet Prince, attack the Soulraze Builders!"

FOCUS: STOP THE VOID

I close all of the shadow portals with Loud and Annoying Duct Tape, the opposite of the Subtle Knife. If I have any duct tape left, I use it to tie down the PG Foodie, reducing its ability to dodge.

(OOC: This is me closing all the shadow portals, and then reducing the dodge of the PG Foodie if I have any actions left.)

Eevee shadow bacon · Dec 11, 2017

I open the present and wish for the [fixed] heart (the ledgenary weapon one).

pionoplayer · Dec 11, 2017

Piono looks at the Godmodder, then at the foodie. Alright, time to do some distracting.
He waves to Jamie and Ash. "YO WATCH THIS. I think I've got an idea."

Action 1: Terra Firma.
Piono walks over towards the Godmodder, striding confidently forward. People and entities move out of his way, there's a glint in his eye, some sort of force driving him forward, and there's a feeling in the air… like you REALLY don't want to be in his way.
The Godmodder feels this aura, and scoffs at it, he turns to face Piono. Piono faces him back. "Alright, let's hope this works." And Piono digs into the depths of his inventory, searching for the weapons he hopes will still be where he found them, hidden terror and nervousness making him extremely unsure of himself.
But he finds them.
He lifts his hand up in the air, and materializing above him with a thunderclap as air is pushed out of the way of a MASSIVE hammer made out of solid rock, crystal and dirt, all packed together in a massive weapon that looks very unwieldy.
It IS very unwieldy. Piono staggers under the weight of the massive hammer, and immediately drops it, the handle crunches into the ground a little bit, then tips as the hammer falls forwards, lifting the handle, which Piono still has a tight grasp on, up into the air, flinging Piono upwards into the air.
The Godmodder watches with amusement as Piono flies upwards in a sharp arc, flying over the handle of the hammer, and landing right on top of it with a painful sounding thud. Piono staggers to his feet on top of the hammer, and looks at the Godmodder. The Godmodder pulls his hands together, ready to hadouken Piono off the top of his perch.
Piono's eyes suddenly glow.

ЛАПИС
The Godmodder launches his hadouken blast and Piono raises his arms, a massive wall of stone from the ground of the Hexagonafield rises up, intercepting the blast. Piono pushes forward with his hands, and the wall slams down, just barely missing the Godmodder as he steps back away from it.
Piono, eyes still glowing, hops down from the top of the hammer, making a pushing motion with his hands, and the entire battlefield sinks a few inches with a rumble. A massive square sunk into the earth. The Godmodder looks around in surprise, and Piono pushes downwards again. The section of ground he and the Godmodder are standing on (including some distance outwards, such as the hammer and immediate spectators) begins sinking down in levels, dropping down once, then again, then again. The spectators scramble up the walls so as to not get caught in the fight.
The Godmodder gets his wits about him and turns to face Piono only to be struck in the back of the head by a rock. He whirls around, and suddenly rocks are flying at him from all angles, he begins carving them from the air, and a pillar of rock launches itself at him from the wall, he carves it down, but the rock behind it keeps pushing forward, and slams into him, slamming him into the far wall.
The wall closes up around him, sinking the Godmodder into the stone to suffocate him, but he's too wily and strong to be caught, and busts out, shattering the pillar up to its base, leaving a pile of rubble on the ground.
And then Piono clobbers him with a massive boulder. The assault resumes, with pillars of earth and rocks coming from every angle. The Godmodder pushes back, and unleashes a pulse of energy that spreads outwards. This finally gets at Piono and knocks him backwards, but he's not down. The Godmodder advances on him, and Piono stands up, then gets an idea.
He turns and begins sprinting towards the the hammer, pieces of rock flowing up around him, and growing in size, lifting him up into the air. By the time he reaches the hammer, Piono is completely encased in rock and stone, he slams his foot down and a pillar launches the hammer into the air by its head, turning the handle around, which Piono catches and swings around in a side smash that once again slams the Godmodder into the wall. This time spikes of rock impale the Godmodder as he slams into it, before the Godmodder can recover, Piono swings the hammer downwards, carving out a section of the wall… and the Godmodder.
The Godmodder stumbles to his feet, but the assault of stone is back in full effect, and no amount of energy blasts or weapon swinging seems to do anything to slow the onslaught. So he does the only reasonable thing. He tries to get some space between him and the surrounding field of rock. He leaps in the air.
Piono slams the hammer into the ground, and the entire hexagonfield HEAVES. Rock surges up overhead, rendering the two in complete darkness except the light of Piono's eyes and rune markings. But Piono doesn't needs eyes, every time he lands a hit on the Godmodder or the Godmodder blocks another rock, Piono feels it and knows where to target the next one.
The Godmodder continues blocking the assault from all angles, but he's slowly wearing down, he charges right at Piono, and Piono swings down with his hammer… and misses. The Godmodder slams right through the rock and smashes Piono into the wall behind them.
This turns out to be a mistake as Piono sinks right into the rock, taking the Godmodder with him.
The Godmodder feels the crushing weight of the earth around him, but before he can dig back out there's a resounding crack, and it gets worse. Then another, and another, the weight of the rock compressing and multiplying with every thunderous crash.
Up top, Piono has resurfaced in his advanced rock form, and is slamming the hammer down on top of the Godmodder's position over and over again, compressing the rocks and sending the Godmodder deeper into the field, where the rock's pressure gets worse and worse.
Finally, the Godmodder has had enough of this and bursts out of the ground, disrupting Piono's concentration and thus the rocks. He smashes Piono into the dirt then jumps into the air. Piono pushes his arms up and a pillar of dirt smashes into the Godmodder as he comes down, blocking his shot.
Piono backflips out of the way as the Godmodder swings again. Piono thrusts out his arm and makes a "Come get me" Gesture. The Godmodder growls and comes to come get him, charging forward, weapon readied…
And then he gets spiked.
Piono hops backwards as the Godmodder runs facefirst into a sudden wall of stone spikes that rises up. as if he'd sprung some kind of trap, the Godmodder is spiked through by a bunch of different stone spikes. Being the Godmodder, this doesn't actually hurt him that much, it DOES however serve to keep him both distracted and in one place.
Piono flies up into the air, lifting the massive hammer over his head.
ЦАТАЦЛЫСМ
Pieces of rock begin flying up from the ground below, encasing the hammer in a massive block of stone, growing larger and larger. Meanwhile, the Godmodder, still freeing himself from the rock spikes that have entrapped him, doesn't notice as the section of rock he's on begins to lift up into the air.
Piono continues coming down, a veritable mountain of rock and earth coalescing around his weapon as he comes down, jagged spikes forming on the exterior, bigger than a man around and taller too.
The Godmodder finally frees himself from the rock spikes and looks up just in time to curse.
The massive pillar of earth meets the mountain rushing downwards and shatters, the massive ball of rock crashing downwards on top of the Godmodder's position and continuing downwards with great momentum, careening right into the Hexagonafield's main flat area, with a massive resounding shockwave that sends a deafening boom across the battlefield, knocking people over and sending out waves of wind across everything.
The mountain settles on top of the Godmodder, then Piono swings his hammer around and smashes it into the mountain one more time, shattering it and sending a massive shockwave of force down through it, into the Godmodder and the ground.
(The following only happens to the extent that Moniker wants it to happen. If he'd rather not have it happen at all, it doesn't happen)
That's not all though, using so much earth magic in an empty plane has repercussions. Earth magic resonates across the Hexagonafield, spreading out in massive waves, sending out tremors across the stone field, rock juts up, sinks down, turning the featureless stone plane into a featured stone plane wherever the magic goes, leaving mountains, crevisses, random spikes and massive cracks in the ground, spread out everywhere.
The featureless stone plane lies shattered in quite a large radius…
(Back to thing that happen anyways)
Piono lands with a crash, leaving a small crater where he lands, and a larger one where the hammer comes down. He looks up as the hammer fades away, back into his inventory. The light fades from his eyes and he looks around, almost confused.
"Wha…"
And then he collapses. Just toppling over as if he had no muscle strength left. Which he may well not have. An attack like that takes quite a lot out of you.

Action 2:
The Improbability Drive, heedless of its master's overtaxxing of himself, begins a new, more ambitious charge.
1/5 for Fire and Flames.

Action 3:
The Improbability Drive continues going.
2/5 for Fire and Flames.

Arsenical · Dec 11, 2017

With a smirk, Arsenical cracks his knuckles and gazes down the Soulraze HQ.

A Soulraze builder-in-training walks out of the building to get something, but the sheer force of Arsenical's STARE sets his shirt on fire! Don't worry, he might be fine.

"Well, then, HQ, I think we have some business to discuss."

Action number 1 & 2: Operation Seal

A button appears in our hero's hand, and he ever so gently presses down.

*BEEP*

*BRRRKT* *KA-CHUNK*

From the ground, out of a SUSPICIOUSLY CONVENIENTLY-PLACED HOLE, a machine rises. Its body is a sleek bronze color, carved with intricate lines and shapes. Its humanoid limbs are dusty, but every-so-often, slightly twitch.

Where did he get this? Well, there is an old tale.

Long, long ago, A beast lived in a mountain. The beast was a horrid creature, and thought to be undying. Once every year, it climbed down the mountain to the kingdom below, and took 108 of the kingdom's people as a sacrifice. The king could not stand it. He, in his infinite wealth, demanded the best to help him with the issue, and by the next day three people came.

The first was the knight, ever strong and virtuous. He wished for the princess's hand in marriage, and decided to kill this foul beast to win her over. He was the first to undergo the quest. The second was the mage, known far and wide for his incredible knowledge in magic of all sorts, and after getting his staff and tome, he was the second to partake in the quest. Then, there was the smith. The smith was looked down down on by the king, as he was not famous, or strong. But still, he said he would solve the king's problem if he was just given bronze. And so he was granted all the bronze he could need, and went back to smelt it down.

The knight went up to the mountain, where the beast sat watching, and declared his challenge to the beast. He swung his holy blade against the beast's flesh, but the sword broke. With no weapon, the beast found it easy to tear the knight limb from limb.

The wizard went up to the mountain, where the beast sat watching, and fired his greatest magics against it. But yet again, against the beast's flesh the magic felt like a cantrip, and the wizard fell, too.

Finally, the smith went up to the mountain, pulling along a covered wagon. He saw the beast, and instead of attacking it, offered him something else: a incredible full suit of bronze armor, forged in just his size. The beast, not very smart, despite his victory, put on the armor.

The armor was put on the beast, and with a final "CLACK!", the helmet was donned. Yet something wasn't right. It was much too heavy, and then the smith then tapped on the armor's shin.

With another sudden cacophony of noise, the armor shifted, and morphed. The joints tightened, and the beast's armor became its bronze cage. The people of the village were never bothered again...

... Then Arsenical bought this cool statue on Ebay and turns out it was that very same beast in armor. Who knew?

He left it deep in a vault, but finally, he decided to release it. Not without a few caveats.

"I hold the button to your movement. Go against the Anti-godmodders, and I will re-tighten your joints, then put you back in storage. Kill the godmodder, then you're free to go. Understood?"

The armor's head twitched, up and down.

Of course, there was a plan to occur in these events. The beast is sealed in his armor, greatly limiting his power.

It was what you could consider the AG's very own sealed entity. THE SEALED MOUNTAIN BEAST.

Action 3: I Love the Smell of Napalm in the Morning

This explosion elemental is uncharacteristically mellow. He's still sleeping!

(6/10)

JOEbobobob · Dec 11, 2017

Somewhere along the way, Archmage Xilith ended up reaching an ocean.
he swam for 10 days and 10 nights, somehow, leveraging his minecraft-player-like-being-hood and as such lack of need for sleep to keep going the whole time.
He arrives on the continent, and walks, and walks, and walks.
He arrives at the dark one's lair, and gives him one last chance to surrender.
he places silverwood trees at some personally important places to protect them, just in case, and places his Taint Shard on the ground, somewhere, and walks a good distance away.
after it begins to spread, he retrieves the shard, and walks away. he has a line of 'blooms to keep it from destroying anything important... he'll be fine.
the dark ones kingdom is destroyed, just as planned. all is well. they slowly move the ethereal bloom inwards to destroy the remaining taint, until, one day...
The taint is wounded, it is shrinking. it is blind, and in its rage, it tries... something.
it seeps into underground caverns bellow the dark ones base. it makes its way through the ocean, and arrives on the other end of the landmass.
...They never stood a chance.
the taint surged from behind them. there was panic. people where tainted, transformed, and spread the infection. more and more died.
Those who survived the initial shock ran, all the way to the first line of blooms. taint progress is slow with nobody nearby. they had some time, not much.
Xilith... ran. he grabbed as many blooms as he could carry, and his private lab. some resources. he ran to the last millennium. killed the last villager. set up shop. and researched some things. he discovered a 'dawn totem', a Massive range ethereal bloom, but could not safely return to the tainted overworld to test it.
Meanwhile, the other survivors... some holed up in the arctict, where their descendants will live for millennia, insane but untainted. Others protected landmarks. yet others reinforces the defences of Xilith.
An island in the swamp, a giant redwood tree near a village, the well-defended base of the dark one, a volcano for geothermal power...
and so on.
This all takes time. it takes time to swim, time to destroy the dark one, time to do all these things. that is why it shall be irrelevant for now, but eventually... when the godmodder is lower health, perhaps, or once I am ready, most likely.
once this has bearing, people will most definitely destroy the Blight, this Taint, should player ability be as high as I suspect.
And such, this is the prelude to The Blight's Fall... or, as I prefer to put it...

/MostlyRoleplayPartiallyClarification.

Ranger_Strider_ · Dec 11, 2017

I whisper to the wind.... Just something, anything, to grant our Foodie strength!
FOCUS!
THE PORTALS WILL FALL HERE! I lift up the anti aircraft turret, and slam it into the portals (preferably with the guns facing inwards.)
Grog smash the clown, Pike keep on healing, and only heal filthy neutrals if they are N+1 or better, or no AG allies are present.

CaptainNZZZ · Dec 11, 2017

Moniker said:
The Temporal Guardian now has a small amount of health regen! And wants to attack [V] entities.

Reaching into the present, you get an ENTITY BETRAYAL PUNCH CARD! On it is a slogan: "Every ten entities that betray you, get one entity back!" Nine out of ten holes are punched already. The next time someone betrays you, you can use this to return an entity to your side! Not perfect, but it's insurance!

Your processing response comes through...

EVACUCORP ENTITY STATEMENT:

CLAIM TICKET STATUS: DENIED
Reason: Ticket was processed after Ticket expiry update

However, you also get, thanks to your wish, a sidequest terminal update. It outlays two options you can take from here:

Player-power entity pullout:
You use your player powers to withdraw your entities immediately. The Buff While you Wait service will make them come back with stronger stats, to make up for the inconvenience.

Sidequest option:
You go on a sidequest to navigate the bureaucracy of Evacucorp and retrieve your entities! The Buff While you Wait service will make you get your entities back significantly stronger, and there may be more rewards as well.

To keep the Temporal Guardian alive I summon a pair of completely loyal Rock Monsters to body guard the Temporal Guardian and attack whatever attacks CaptainNZZZ's entities. (x1)

Next I boost the Temporal Guardian's damage resistance to increase his survivability. (x2)

Finally with a grimace I turn my attention to Evacucorp's refusal to let me claim my entities and choose the second option, time to begin my first sidequest to reclaim my entities from this organization.

Darshelenas Sunbreaker · Dec 11, 2017

I open the present.

Whilst looking upon the contents of my present my subconsciousness decides to give ronald mcdonald a red lantern ring.

My subconsciousness also upgrades the portals, so now the monkies that come out it have banana guns and drums.

My subconsciousness also summon Sun Wukong the monkey king and fluffles the destroyer of worlds.

Five Mini shadow realm portals open, and mini ronald macdonalds with lantern rings spawn from it each turn.

One of the mini ronald dies and a whisp of shadow goes to ronald mcdonald healing him for 500 health everytime a mini ronald dies it heals Ronald Mcdonald also everytime the mini ronalds kill something it heals ronald by 100 health.

Daskter · Dec 11, 2017

Rescheduling Building Queue: Once at 10 Barracks proceed to build up to 4 Command Centers AND I might think about those factorys (Poor Factorys lol)
(I forgot if I have access to Stimpacks, do I? or I need at least a Tech Lab)
I order the Terran Army to start opening fire on the PG Foodie, got to start somewhere on that massive HP

Focus(3x) I sigh, those SCVs should get some more equipment, something like a fabricator to assist them or something, hmm maybe something a Paristeel foundry or even better a Neosteel Foundry! With a great idea in plan I start the Neosteel Foundry.... A much better material than whatever their using to build the vehicles and buildings. They also get a ready supply of building materials to make those buildings faster...

Orbital Command Center Switches back to SCV production once more.

Also I recall all except 5 Space Station Marines

MooGoesCow21 · Dec 11, 2017

I Start Opening a new Portal with my new summoning tool and my TECHNO Powers 3/???

Paradoxdragonpaci · Dec 11, 2017

I FINISH MY ALCHEMITER SUMMONING 15/15!!

I wish Super-Super extremely Hard for Alchemiter Upgrades to the Wind

EternalStruggle · Dec 12, 2017

The man glares extremely worriedly at the AA Turret currently scanning the skies. That thing will blow the Apex out the sky in a flash! He'd best hope that it gets dealt with sooner rather than later. However, he doesn't let that deter him from working on his personal project.

FOCUS - IT'S HAPPENING

He teleports down to the battlefield, although a fair ways away from its center, and dashes over a large area of spice, sword dragging through the gaps between Hexagons the entire way. Light appears in the crack, and he teleports away, about to finally activate his support creation. Naturally, the Charge Booster is used to aid this endeavor.

16/20

The Apex puts its engines into overdrive, doing minor damage but allowing it to act in the beginning of the AG turn instead of during the N turn. It also copies and mass produces the Persuasive Pamphlet and drops them in crates next to the Soulraze Builders. Who should ideally all read one of the things, naturally there are spares, and the Pamphlets will try and convince them to go help the Peacekeepers, or otherwise the AGs, instead of staying and fighting a losing battle for a losing cause, especially since their HQ is now vulnerable.

hungry visitor · Dec 12, 2017

Moniker said:
Alright, I think I'm gonna have to ask you to do these actions next turn. Trying to take over the QM's position uses all three actions, fun fact.

I wish that you edit these words into something that gives me my pillar men, my attack and the attack shield I gave them. And if you instead give the godmodder damage I will get myself banned.

The_Two_Eternities · Dec 12, 2017

Darshelenas Sunbreaker said:
I open the present.

Whilst looking upon the contents of my present my subconsciousness decides to give ronald mcdonald a red lantern ring.

My subconsciousness also upgrades the portals, so now the monkies that come out it have banana guns and drums.

My subconsciousness also summon Sun Wukong the monkey king and fluffles the destroyer of worlds.

Five Mini shadow realm portals open, and mini ronald macdonalds with lantern rings spawn from it each turn.

One of the mini ronald dies and a whisp of shadow goes to ronald mcdonald healing him for 500 health everytime a mini ronald dies it heals Ronald Mcdonald also everytime the mini ronalds kill something it heals ronald by 100 health.

"Have you heard the tale of Ess Cee Pee twelve thirty-seven? I thought not. It's not a tale the Foundation would want you to know. From the file, 'If these efforts are unsuccessful, sponsorship of organizations participating in campaigns of involuntary sterilization, ethnic cleansing, or genocide is authorized against populations with statistically high rates of SCP-1237-1.' 'SCP-1237 is a state of electrical activity in the human brain (a "brain wave" in common terminology) observed in certain individuals during periods of extremely deep sleep. This state, informally dubbed "level 5 sleep" or "epsilon wave sleep", is profoundly difficult to awaken the subject from - prior to adoption of current containment protocols, experiments with loud noise, bright lights, chemical injections, electrical stimulation, oxygen deprivation, physical injury and mutilation, and [REDACTED] all failed to arouse the subject. The ability to exhibit SCP-1237 is controlled by a gene designated SCP-1237-1. SCP-1237-1 is present in approximately 0.████% of the total world population; however, this number is as high as 1.████% among ███████, ███████████ ███████, and ██████ ethnic groups. ██% of SCP-1237-1-positives experience at least one SCP-1237 event in their lives; █% experience two or more.' If the Foundation is willing to commit genocide to decrease the chance of the existence of an unbounded reality warper, imagine what we will do to you when you reach N-2. Shape up or ship out."

(OOC:

hungry visitor said:
I wish that you edit these words into something that gives me my pillar men, my attack and the attack shield I gave them. And if you instead give the godmodder damage I will get myself banned.

Okay, I figured out what you meant, but... can't you just copy-paste it?
)

hungry visitor · Dec 12, 2017

The_Two_Eternities said:
Okay, I figured out what you meant, but... can't you just copy-paste it?

Wouldn't be a free action then. Like this is my wish to the wind or whoever wants to give me a present.

Moniker · Dec 12, 2017

CaptainNZZZ said:
Finally with a grimace I turn my attention to Evacucorp's refusal to let me claim my entities and choose the second option, time to begin my first sidequest to reclaim my entities from this organization.

(OOC: If you're really worried about your Temporal Guardian, I can take them off the field until you get back. Sadly, they will not be in Evacucorp so there will be no Buff-While-You-Wait service.)

As soon as you express a desire to go to Evacucorp Central Office, Evacucorp's Auto-transport Convenience Portal V1.3.2 opens up next to you. You step through, and...

SIDEQUEST BEGUN: PAPERS, PLEASE

You step into a smoothly polished lobby, as the portal closes behind you. You don't see an exit, but you could probably use your Player powers to escape, if you absolutely needed to.

Looking around, it at first looks like a normal lobby. The floor is smooth white tile, there are many chairs set out (all occupied), and the ceiling stretches high above, with a large chandelier hanging in the center. Through the windows, you can see a bit of the other floors. Looks like a standard office complex. But, you can't help but feel something's off...

On your current floor, you see a help desk, staffed by one attendant. You walk over and ask for help. Before you can even begin, she speaks.

Attendant: Hello, and welcome to Evacucorp central offices. We are your headquarters for anything and everything that needs evacuating or storage, from entities to Players to souls. Please take a number and enter the appropriate line for your grievance.

You explain that you have some entities you need to retrieve from an overdue Claim Ticket, and ask to be pointed to the correct line. The attendant points to desk #12, one in a long, long line of stations, each manned by attendants that look almost the exact same. Despite her referring to it as a line, there is nobody actually in any of the lines. Looks like you'll need to wait for your number to be called. Looking down at the ticket, you're number... #2,423,991,081,321. You notice a digital display...

Now serving: #1,890,432,617,992

This might take a while. You guess you'll wait in the lobby... but looking around a little closer, your suspicions about something feeling off are confirmed. All the people sitting in the lobby's chairs are either staring blankly into space, sleeping, or reading a magazine. Everybody looks bored, and none of them look like Players.

Suddenly, you hear a loud "DING!" Everyone sitting starts for a moment, then goes back to what they were doing. The DINGs aren't a common event.

Now serving: #1,890,432,617,993

You don't see anyone move from their seat. This is going to take a long time. Looks like you'd better poke around.

Evacucorp Lobby, Floor 1:
Restrooms
Magazine dispenser(one per customer)
Help Desk
Bored people
Side door(Employees Only)
Staircase(leads to second floor, sign says "Entity Processing Lobby")

CaptainNZZZ · Dec 12, 2017

Moniker said:
(OOC: If you're really worried about your Temporal Guardian, I can take them off the field until you get back. Sadly, they will not be in Evacucorp so there will be no Buff-While-You-Wait service.)

OOC: Oh that would be great, thank you.

As soon as you express a desire to go to Evacucorp Central Office, Evacucorp's Auto-transport Convenience Portal V1.3.2 opens up next to you. You step through, and...

SIDEQUEST BEGUN: PAPERS, PLEASE

You step into a smoothly polished lobby, as the portal closes behind you. You don't see an exit, but you could probably use your Player powers to escape, if you absolutely needed to.

Looking around, it at first looks like a normal lobby. The floor is smooth white tile, there are many chairs set out (all occupied), and the ceiling stretches high above, with a large chandelier hanging in the center. Through the windows, you can see a bit of the other floors. Looks like a standard office complex. But, you can't help but feel something's off...

On your current floor, you see a help desk, staffed by one attendant. You walk over and ask for help. Before you can even begin, she speaks.

Attendant: Hello, and welcome to Evacucorp central offices. We are your headquarters for anything and everything that needs evacuating or storage, from entities to Players to souls. Please take a number and enter the appropriate line for your grievance.

You explain that you have some entities you need to retrieve from an overdue Claim Ticket, and ask to be pointed to the correct line. The attendant points to desk #12, one in a long, long line of stations, each manned by attendants that look almost the exact same. Despite her referring to it as a line, there is nobody actually in any of the lines. Looks like you'll need to wait for your number to be called. Looking down at the ticket, you're number... #2,423,991,081,321. You notice a digital display...

Now serving: #1,890,432,617,992

This might take a while. You guess you'll wait in the lobby... but looking around a little closer, your suspicions about something feeling off are confirmed. All the people sitting in the lobby's chairs are either staring blankly into space, sleeping, or reading a magazine. Everybody looks bored, and none of them look like Players.

Suddenly, you hear a loud "DING!" Everyone sitting starts for a moment, then goes back to what they were doing. The DINGs aren't a common event.

Now serving: #1,890,432,617,993

You don't see anyone move from their seat. This is going to take a long time. Looks like you'd better poke around.

Evacucorp Lobby, Floor 1:
Restrooms
Magazine dispenser(one per customer)
Help Desk
Bored people
Side door(Employees Only)
Staircase(leads to second floor, sign says "Entity Processing Lobby")

Taking advantage of the long wait ahead of me I cause a holographic display to appear in front of me that shows my current character stats and with a little Player power I massively boost my charisma stat. No doubt it'll help me in the future when my number finally gets called.

Flicking my wrist to dispel the holographic display I look throughout the lobby to find the most attentive looking group of people or most attentive looking person sitting in the lobby's chairs and walk over to them. With a small smile on my face I loudly cough to get their attention and once they look towards me I say, "So this line is a real killer, eh?"

Internally face palming at my horrendous attempt at small talk I awkwardly remain standing in front of them, hoping they'll choose to talk to me despite of what I just said.

The_Two_Eternities · Dec 12, 2017

I look at the anti-aircraft turret in horror, realizing its true power. "I, uh, I think you should use Collide on the Godmodder, Cera. And, out of curiosity, a while back you used a two-action charge to play the Slot Machine twice within a single turn. I thought that wasn't possible. How'd you do that?"

(OOC: I've decided to create a new version of the Unofficial Itinerary. The Action Checklist.

Action Checklist:
[✓] Shield/buff our Foodie (Done by Ranger_Strider_, Cyanogynist, and That-Random-Guy) (U)
[✓] Attack/debuff the PG Foodie (Done by me, will be done by the PG Foodie because of That-Random-Guy) (U)
[ ] Fully heal Winry
[ ] Fully heal the Simurgh
[ ] Fully heal Grog Strongjaw
[✓] Kill all the Soulraze Builders (Will be done by the Second Scarlet Prince)
[ ] Destroy the partially completed Soulraze Barracks
[ ] Destroy the partially completed Soulraze Regen Generator
[✓] Destroy the Soulraze Headquarters (Will be done by the Simurgh, the Pack of Packed Wolves, and the Thresher Maw)
[ ] Destroy the Anti-Aircraft Turret (Partially done by Ranger_Strider_)
[✓] Attempt to damage the Godmodder (Done by Pionoplayer) (U)
[✓] Close all the shadow portals (Done by me and Ranger_Strider_)
[ ] Kill all the Gummy Worm armies
[ ] Kill all the Monkey armies
[✓] Kill Ronald McDonald (Done by Page of Time)

If something is labeled (U), then you can still contribute to it without wasting actions whether or not it has a check mark next to it.)

Moniker · Dec 12, 2017

CaptainNZZZ said:
OOC: Oh that would be great, thank you.

Taking advantage of the long wait ahead of me I cause a holographic display to appear in front of me that shows my current character stats and with a little Player power I massively boost my charisma stat. No doubt it'll help me in the future when my number finally gets called.

Flicking my wrist to dispel the holographic display I look throughout the lobby to find the most attentive looking group of people or most attentive looking person sitting in the lobby's chairs and walk over to them. With a small smile on my face I loudly cough to get their attention and once they look towards me I say, "So this line is a real killer, eh?"

Internally face palming at my horrendous attempt at small talk I awkwardly remain standing in front of them, hoping they'll choose to talk to me despite of what I just said.

OOC: Will do.

You gain Charisma! Maybe you can use this later...

Looking at the people waiting, nobody in particular stands out. You walk up to someone who's... awake, at least. You say your incredible conversation line. His eyes glance over to you for a moment, then back to their original position.

Person: Yeah...

They continue staring off into space.

---------

Nothing changes in the lobby.

Evacucorp Lobby, Floor 1:
Restrooms
Magazine dispenser(one per customer)
Help Desk
Bored people
Side door(Employees Only)
Staircase(leads to second floor, sign says "Entity Processing Lobby")

Players:
CaptainNZZZ(has Charisma)

CaptainNZZZ · Dec 12, 2017

Moniker said:
OOC: Will do.

You gain Charisma! Maybe you can use this later...

Looking at the people waiting, nobody in particular stands out. You walk up to someone who's... awake, at least. You say your incredible conversation line. His eyes glance over to you for a moment, then back to their original position.

Person: Yeah...

They continue staring off into space.

---------

Nothing changes in the lobby.

Evacucorp Lobby, Floor 1:
Restrooms
Magazine dispenser(one per customer)
Help Desk
Bored people
Side door(Employees Only)
Staircase(leads to second floor, sign says "Entity Processing Lobby")

Players:
CaptainNZZZ(has Charisma)

Shrugging at the man's lack luster response I walk away from him, frowning as I notice how the line continues to slowly move forwards. Clearly staying here and making conversation to pass the time wasn't going to work.

Setting up a magical alert-and-teleportation system to inform me when my number gets called and grant me the ability to teleport back here I head over to the staircase and go up to the second floor, might as well see what this Entity Processing Lobby is. Hopefully something in this building will be less boring than the first lobby.

MrMirrorMan · Dec 12, 2017

ACTION:?/3 ITEM(S): 1x2,000 Damage Lottery Token [Token Expended] 1x GODMODDER REPELLENT
AMOUNT:?/3
CHARGE:5/10
$1,100,000 on Hand.
"I thank you for the help, host of this game, for allowing me the opportunity to take one last action. I'll be sure to at least make sure that if JOE fights Altair, it'll be a fair fight." And with those words spoken, JOE starts to tell Altair about how he broke the Resolute Heart, so I decide to take action while JOE is explaining what he did to break the Resolute Heart, I decide to throw out the most vicious of attacks as Altair. So, deciding upon that, I break the clock that is my face. . . wait what? Behind the mirror is static, an endless world of static, Altair, paying attention mostly to the mirror man, is confused, why would he do that? Suddenly, a spear of static crashes into Altair,
1x Combo
initiating a combo attack against him. One of those special combos that are activated by using a special meter, one where you can't escape until it ends. Following being stabbed by the 'static' spear become a fist, punching 2x
Altair into the ground, making them skid 3x 4x 5x
into the ground, before five staticy spikes 6x 7x 8x 9x 10x,
as Altair is in the air three sets of 7 needles, stabbing into him in 1 11x 12x 13x 14x 15x 16x 17x set 18x 19x 20x 21x 22x 23x 24x each 25x 26x 27x 28x 29x 30x 31x.
The static being that the MirrorMan has become grabs Altair's back, pulling them into a bone-crushing bear hug 32x, before spinning at rapid speeds with them like a saw, throwing Altair down into the ground with a sickening crack 33x,
before the now static creature mirror comes down upon them, spinning like a saw into their back 34x 35x 36x 37x 38x 39x 40x 41x 42x 43x 44x 45x 46x 47x 48x 49x,
before kicking them into the air again 50x. Various scratch marks start appearing over Altair's body, in sets of 2, happening 10 times, 52x 54x 56x 58x 60x 62x 64x 66x 68x 70x,
before gravity finally catches up with Altair, where they then are bit into many times by the static beast 71x 72x 73x 74x 75x 76x 77x 78x 79x 80x
Altair is thrown up into the air for a third time, and the static mirror creature swallows a coin. The Damage Lottery Token it won back on the original battlefield. No flair or dramatics, just a flat damage and an increase of the counter by 10, 90x
and to finish this horrible combo of pain, three thirds of a slots machine, each third adding one to the counter 91x 92x 93x
forming a complete slot machine that lands a 777 Jackpot, shooting seven blasts at Altair, finishing this combo at a 100x COMBO!!!
The static goes back into the 'original' body, with the clock face reforming, finishing when JOE finishes explaining how he broke the Resolute Heart. "Whew, I have to say, that was a task, I would be surprised if that finished you off, but maybe it di" before he can finish speaking, he is hit be the actions of JOE's post. . . That was kind of anti-climatic.

Moniker · Dec 12, 2017

CaptainNZZZ said:
Shrugging at the man's lack luster response I walk away from him, frowning as I notice how the line continues to slowly move forwards. Clearly staying here and making conversation to pass the time wasn't going to work.

Setting up a magical alert-and-teleportation system to inform me when my number gets called and grant me the ability to teleport back here I head over to the staircase and go up to the second floor, might as well see what this Entity Processing Lobby is. Hopefully something in this building will be less boring than the first lobby.

Heading up the stairs, you find the entrance roped off, with another attendant standing in your way.

Attendant: Please have a processing pass to allow entry into the next floor.

Looking past the ropes, you see another mostly empty lobby. You can't quite see the whole thing, but it looks very similar to the floor below, but smaller, and with carpet instead of tile. While the rope and attendant don't look like major barriers to entry, you feel like breaking down the barriers preventing you from going places isn't a casual option in this place.

--------

DING!

Now serving: #1,890,432,617,994

It doesn't look like anybody moved from their seat...

Evacucorp Lobby, Floor 1:
Restrooms
Magazine dispenser(one per customer)
Help Desk
Bored people
Side door(Employees Only)
Staircase(leads to second floor, sign says "Entity Processing Lobby")
Digital counter(number #1,890,432,617,994)

Entity Processing Lobby, Floor 2:
Ropes/Attendant(Blocking way in):

Players:
CaptainNZZZ(has Charisma)(Ticket #2,423,991,081,321)

Defeat The Godmodder

Your Choices Don't Matter

The Destroyer

The one who does lots of Striding

Professional Asshole

The Moo That Goes Cow

Schrödinger’s Dragon

(God/Greater)

(God/Greater)

Professional Asshole

Professional Asshole

A clock in a suit.