Defeat The Godmodder

[Moniker]

ahem.
turns out I need to put all actions into entering the sidequest.
well, I do that. if someone wants to attack the godmodder and has no attack ideas, feel free to use this attack I guess.
[3x action]
whatever that game Eeveeshadowbacon is playing is called, I join it, drawing my cards...
and immediately playing blanket, because I brought a fuzzy green blanket which I borrowed from a friend with me. since its green, and I'm playing it on a green thing, so it works.
what? I was cold! halloween tends to be cold enough to need a coat under costumes where I live.
having played thing with the [fuzzy green] propertys, I gain the first of the 5 Srovy tokens.
there's more! when I wear blankets, I always bring 2, one of which is thin and red , because then it looks like a cape and capes are cool! (said child me when he made this commitment)... and yes, I did swear it on the river sticks back then, that was dumb of me, but oh well.
I take the red blanket-that-I-use-like-a-cape and play it on top of the fuzzy green blanket. since I played a red item while holding a Srovy Token, I gain a Communist Token. sadly, I am now out of things to do, but all I need now is a "The" Token, and I can channel them into 3 times the power of a bullshtick token, normally restricted to pebbletopia-style games!

Click to shrink...

The godmodder and Eevee welcome you. This game is always more interesting with three players! Eevee and the godmodder are both playing for themselves, so you'll be playing for the AG side! Since you don't have a Legendary Weapon to bet with, you'll be pulling an Arsenical and betting one Legendary Weapon's worth of debt! Unless you can conjure up something else of value, that is. Winner takes all!

With your plays, you successfully exhaust both of the blankets you brought in! The godmodder then deals you in. Darn.

JOEbob's D20 card roll: 6

You aren't looking at a very good hand. No power-up cards, but at least they're mostly the same color.

I use the green 10 and slap the newcomer on the back, saying "WELCOME TO THE SHOWDOWN! What you bring to bet with?"

Click to shrink...

You cannot use the green 10! The card currently in play is "red blanket"! You could have used your color-changing card, but the rules of the game force you to draw cards until you get one you can play whenever you try to make an impossible play!

D20 CARD ROLL: (15 or above succeeds): 10

Yellow 5.

D20 CARD ROLL: (15 or above succeeds): 11

Green 6.

D20 CARD ROLL: (15 or above succeeds): 20

One draw 4! You place it down triumphantly! The godmodder growls as he picks up 4 new cards...

D20 CARD ROLL: ?? + 1

The godmodder growls even more, but not TOO much. The two other players suddenly see a twinkle in the distance, and look at it, but it's gone. When you look back, the godmodder is eyeing his hand happily...

--------

The godmodder smiles, and copies JOEbob's style: One full on STUPIDITY TOKEN!? Oh no! Those things let you play THREE CARDS IN A ROW! The godmodder triumphantly lays them down: Draw 4! Draw 4! Draw 4! Split neatly among his opponents!

JOEbob's D20 CARD ROLL: 10

An utterly average 8 cards for JOEbob.

Eevee's D20 CARD ROLL: 10

Again. An utterly average 4 cards for Eevee.

The godmodder sets the color to green. Coincidentally, this is pretty much the worst color for both of his enemies.

CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
UNO
Facing card: Draw 4(Green)
Eevee's/JOEbob's turn

Health: ++++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon
(Has a pawn, and a queen, and "Y")
UNO cards: Blue skip-turn card, color-changing card, yellow 3, green 10, blue 4, yellow 5, green 6, blue draw-2, blue 9, green 8, yellow 5

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
UNO cards: blue 4, blue 7, blue 2, red 5, yellow 2, yellow draw-2, red 6, red 8, blue 1, blue 3, green 7, yellow 9, blue 8

Health: +++++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you


You get this weird feeling like this game won't play out very well for you if some innovation doesn't happen.

 

[Moniker]

Insert evil laughter here.

As I look at my hand, I realise, Yes, I can win this no problem. I slap down my 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10, then shout, "NO FACE STRAIGHT! I WIN!"

Click to shrink...

You don't have a "7" card! And Draw-2 would function more as a Jack than as a 2 card, anyways!

heheh.
the godmodder was a fool! a fool I say!
oh, and so is eevee.
calling upon a tradition known as "lets see how far away I am from victory", I act regardless of whether Eevee succeeded.
if Eevee succeeded, the current card is a green 10. otherwise its a green draw something or the other.
I play down green 7 and blue 7.
the cards fuse, turning into a cyan of luck card!
green + blue in RGB computer colour, and cyan is the colour of perception. 7's represent luck. perception lets me do whatever I so please within reason, so I choose to cast "just as planned", revealing that I had a "The" token stuffed up my butt the entire time! granted, if there where an available way to obtain it without my butt, then both tokens would explode, but who cares? not me! it worked out!
using the "Srovy" token, "The" token, and "communist" Token, I obtain the power of 3 bullshit tokens!(which I use to make 3 bullshit tokens) Bullshit tokens are bullshit! they are so bullshit that they can be used to make more bullshit tokens with even moderate luck. as a counterbalance, the first cannot be obtained with just one turn of action, (I took 2) and the first turn where a person is aiming to get them, they must announce their plan (as i did, by saying what i could do if I got a "The" Token.). if eevee succeeded, this concludes my turn... or it would, if not for me revealing that we were never playing uno at all! in fact, this was all an elaborate ruse to allow me to make the most out of my fuzzy and not-fuzzy blankets! the real game we were playing is pokemon TCG! however, I had just used a card which said "play rock paper scissors. if you win, deal 920 damage to your opponents active pokemon. if not, play a game of Uno. the person who is the most opportunist in the most bullshitty way wins. if this is you, deal 360 damage to your opponents active pokemon."
since I was way more opportunist then Eevee and the godmodders actions didn't do anything with regards to pokemon, we return to the match of pokemon.
Eevee and the godmodder are both missing one prize card, and my active pokemon is a mew star, who has taken 60 damage out of its 120 hp, though it also has a giant cape attached, raising its current MHP to 160 and current HP to 100. as well, on my bench, I have a Nincada. the mew has 4 rainbow energys attached.
I end my turn, having just knocked out both the godmodders active and eevees active with 360 damage- more then any pokemon has.
and defensive abilitys won't damage me since its not an attack, its an item card.
godmodders turn.


Oh, also, I'm not AG, remember? I help whoevers entitys I deem the coolest, which was the army men so far, so I'm also playing as myself. yeah, I'll probably toss the legendary weapon to the AG's after my first turn of use, but I'd still keep shen gon whatever its called, and if the godmodder makes a cool enough entity I'll give him starcalibur if I win.
EDIT: hey, why is my health-+ count the same as the godmodders? he and Eevee both started with one more then this, then took 1 and 2 damage, respectively! I should have one more health + then him.

Click to shrink...

You successfully exit the fake UNO game, and enter into the Pokemon game! With your destruction of the godmodder's pokemon, you deal 1 damage to his health bar! However, you exit the fake game of Pokemon TCG to enter the REAL game you were playing all along: Magic: The Gathering!

The godmodder had just played the "spell of water" card, with the effects: "Play a game of Pokemon TCG - the loser takes 1 damage!". The godmodder currently has 100 Godmodder Monsters in play, with a lot of attack! The cards in your hand are all blank.

OOC: That's right, you're neutral! You, too, are now playing for yourself! Also, since you joined the game late, you were given a small health handicap to keep the game... *snicker*... fair.



CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
Magic: The Gathering
Cards in Play: Godmodder Monster x 100 - always serve the godmodder, 1 million defense, 1 million attack
Eevee's/JOEbob's turn

Health: ++++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon
(Has a pawn, and a queen, and "Y")
UNO cards: Blue skip-turn card, color-changing card, yellow 3, green 10, blue 4, yellow 5, green 6, blue draw-2, blue 9, green 8, yellow 5
MAGIC cards: Three blank cards

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
UNO cards: blue 4, blue 2, red 5, yellow 2, yellow draw-2, red 6, red 8, blue 1, blue 3, yellow 9, blue 8
MAGIC cards: Three blank cards

Health: ++++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you


My friend made me play a Magic game one time to show me how it works. So I'm basically an expert.

 

[Moniker]

Treating blank cards as being like a blank scrabble piece (can mimic any card i want), I play Goblin Bombardment (1 mana), Shield Sphere (for 0 mana) and Enduring Renewal (2 mana).
then, goblin bombardment sacrifices shield sphere. 1 damage to the godmodders magic the gathering HP.
with enduring renewal, I get back shield sphere, and play it again for 0 mana. I sacrifice shield sphere. 1 damage. I get back shield sphere. I play it. I do 1 damage. I get back shield sphere. repeat ad infinitum. (well, until the godmodder dies. then I do the same to eevee. then my turn ends, with both opponents defeated, and me having won.)
and yes, this combo is legal (according to the internet), though not possible on first turn, but this isn't first turn.

Click to shrink...

Oh no! NOT OVERPOWERED BUT NOT TECHNICALLY AGAINST THE RULES COMBOS THAT WERE ACTUALLY RESEARCHED WITH GOOGLE AND NOT MADE UP ON THE SPOT THAT THE GAME DEVELOPERS OVERLOOKED! NOOOOOOOO!!!

The godmodder just forfeits. Some combos are simply too overpowered. The FEAR strategy in Pokemon. And now, this. You win the game of Magic: The gathering, dealing 2 damage to the health bars of both Eevee and the godmodder! Looking good...

I activate the card Marvel, which lets me look at the top six cards of my deck and then cast one free of any cost. I see an Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger, and activate it, locking the GM and JOE from their resources and is indestrucable. It attacks, causing both the GM and JOE to mill the top 20 cards of their decks.

Click to shrink...

You might have been able to make a comeback, but you were already dead! Making plays from beyond failure in a game is valid, but you have to specifically mention how! Your blank cards remain unused.


------

Right then. Moving right along to the next round... we've nearly reached the halfway point of this game! As the game goes on, failure forces to to take more and more damage. The easy, forgiving parts of the game are over! Now, let's move onto a game played only by real men. A tactical duel of minds and wit greater even than chess. A game whose mere name causes the unworthy to tremble in fear...

Candyland.

A simple candyland board appears - it's Checkers-themed! A special Checkers board meant to hold three sides! Pieces of candy are scattered about, with Eevee controlling the black licorice candies, JOEbob controlling the blue gumballs, and the godmodder having command of the yellow suckers. Every player has 12 pieces of candy. Each player draws a card:

JOEBob d20 card roll: 18

Purple! That means all your units can move one extra space.

Eevee's d20 card roll: 17

Also purple!

Godmodder's d20 card roll: ?? + 2

The godmodder isn't TOO happy... He has some special ability or restriction you don't know!

Now then! What's your Checkers Candyland strategy?

CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
Candyland: Checkers edition
Board status: Three-way board, all pieces in starting positions

Health: ++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon
(Has a pawn, and a queen, and "Y", and a purple candyland card)
UNO cards: Blue skip-turn card, color-changing card, yellow 3, green 10, blue 4, yellow 5, green 6, blue draw-2, blue 9, green 8, yellow 5
MAGIC cards: Three blank cards

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
(Has a Purple candyland card)
UNO cards: blue 4, blue 2, red 5, yellow 2, yellow draw-2, red 6, red 8, blue 1, blue 3, yellow 9, blue 8

Health: ++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you

 

[Moniker]

I play blue 1, 2, 3, and 4 on one of my blue gumballs, raising it from the point value of 1 (like a pawn), raising it to 4 +1 = 5 points. it has become a blue rookball!
then, I roll and use my cop-out card because I don't currently understand this game.
then, preforming the second of my 5 non-move actions, I play blue 8 and red 8, making a purple 8! then I mix up Uno and Crazy Eights, turning it into functionally a purple card: Any! using the purple card: any, I turn my back-most line into bishops with broken legs. the bishops with broken legs move the same as a normal checkers piece, but their technically bishops.
the first 2 bishops with broken legs begin to sing their sermons, raising my hype meter from stage one to stage 2! the remaining 2 are too busy praying to god to let them survive the coming ordeal.
the hype meter dictates how many physical moves I can make a turn, and is currently at 2. I can preform up to 5 non-move actions a turn. this does not increase with hype.
I've so far:
NM1)turned one gumball into a rook
M1)possibly moved my army depending on copout's choice
NM2) turned back line into bishops
NM3) Bishops raised hype meter by one
M2 from hype meter) continued to play by the choice of the copout card.
NM4) gumball to the top-right of my rook: reveal an interest in archery, become archer.
NM5) Gumball to bottom-left of my rook: train in the art of gumballness. become able to bounce off the walls of the board, gaining an extra move when you do.
that concludes my turn.
the kind of board off which I am basing this :
so yeah.

Click to shrink...

Both you and Pluff0 attempted to play your COP-OUT CARD this turn! The two cop-out cards cancel each other out, and go back to each player's hand! Only your normal actions this turn go through!

Bishops have appeared! Movements have been made! Prayers have been sung! The Blue army gains power!

ORYX! helps defend the princess.

I walk over to the PBVRFDHCSP table, pulling up a chair.

"Well, lads, this looks like fun. Room for another?"

(Moniker)

Click to shrink...

You arrive at the table... with nothing to bet, you too are risking one legendary weapon's worth of debt. You attempt to play your COP-OUT card, but JOEbob's same play blocks it! Luckily for you, since you arrived late, you have 8 health and no candyland boost card! Wait, no. That's not good at all. You'll have to play extra-well to come out on top in this stupid game.

I invoke the house rule of "Three's a Company and Four's a Crowd", which states that at 4+ players/factions, anyone can take their bounty and leave, and receives no penety. I take my necklace of the hare, flip off the remaining players and leave.

Sidenote: I'm losing brain cells with this sidequest, I'm just taking my stuff and going. Enjoy fighting over the legendary weapon, cause I'm out. And I'm taking my necklace and its +1 action effect with me.

Click to shrink...

You decide to make a tactical retreat. By which I mean, desperately sprint for the exit of this stupid game, clutching your legendary weapon, with the crowd throwing tomatoes and screaming "BOO" as you retreat. There's a runner every game, I suppose.

Upon your return to the HEXAGONAFIELD, your Shen Gong Wu melts into a pile of rainbow goop. You realize that the Terms and Conditions that came with it included "had to win it through an arbitrarily complicated sidequest first". Darn.

----------

The godmodder nods with approval at JOEbob's maneuvering. Suddenly, he summons some pink female jelly beans! The blue and black armies have their front-line forces seduced! Half of both sides defect! The godmodder's troops gain a HUGE amount of power!


CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
Candyland: Checkers edition
Board status: Three-way board, it doesn't even matter where the pieces actually are

CANDY POWER:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Health: +++++++
Pluff0
(Has Cop-out card)(Control of black candyland pieces)

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
(Has a Purple candyland card, Cop-out card)(Control of blue candyland pieces)
UNO cards: blue 4, blue 2, red 5, yellow 2, yellow draw-2, red 6, red 8, blue 1, blue 3, yellow 9, blue 8

Health: ++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")(Control of yellow candyland pieces)
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
Pluff0 being one legendary weapon in debt to you
One legendary weapon from the godmodder's stash
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you

 

[Moniker]

[I ask if I can replace my "one weapon in debt" with more-or-less the same thing eevee just pulled out?]
you forgot to remove the UNO cards I used.
this is a checkers board, so most pieces move diagonally, 1 at a time. my rook, however, is immune to godmodder mind control because its literally a stone tower...
and it moves horizontally.
and it can always hop over because most pieces can't move on half the spots.
time to utilise my non-move actions. first,I begin construction of a cannon. this will take 5 more actions (move or not) to complete.
then, I play the yellow draw-2. the yellow front line (but not the mind controlled pieces) gains weight, and a 60% chance to be unable to move when the godmodder tries.
thirld, the bishops continue to play their sermons, becoming more enthusiastic and raising our hype meter by 1. it was close though... looks like 4 - 1 will be a bit harder to get.
I transform 2 pawns into eye of the watcher towers at once.
for the fifth non-move action, they stare at the yellow candyland pieces, raising my Sweet Moves! meter and lowering their hype meter. with their hype meter lowered bellow one, and my army so clearly leading in the Sweet Moves! department, they take a hit to raise the hype meter back to one, with some pieces switching back to me, specifically the 2 rook-helpers that I upgraded last round.
now for the move actions! the rook blitzes forwards, striking a pawn, then chaining (which is a thing in checkers) the attack by moving to the blank (and normally inaccessible) space behind its target, then taking another target in the same way. all in all, I kill about... four pieces is sadly the maximum, with one action. taking advantage of troop movements to go on a killing spree raises my Sweet Moves! meter, as any sweet move is wont to do.
its been five actions! I drop my cannon where the rook was (this is a free action that doesn't count as move Or non-move) and load in the auto-constructed quick-bomb. I fire at the top-right corner of the godmodders not- hypnotized forces, killing all troops in a 3-by-3 around my shot. this kills another four.
Sweet moves! near-total annihilation! You just started some Sick Fires!
the godmodder has four non-seduced forces left, and I still have an action!
the eye of the watcher towers gaze at the godmodders side. his hype meter falls again, because its pretty non-hype to be so weak your enemy decides to spend an action just Looking at you. (yes, I could attack if I wanted to- I have an archer gumball remember?) my Sweet Moves meter starts to fall slightly...
before the remaining seduced people decide they value their life over their love, lowering the godmodders army size to 4 troops. as well, some of the people from Pluff0's army decide my army is better, and come join me instead of Pluff. I am Reaping the benefits of a high Sweet Moves meter!
note: if the purple candyland card is still mine, and it grants an extra action, I order a pawn (one who wasn't just called back from seduction) sacrificed as a cannonball for the cannon, firing it into the last of the godmodders ranks and leaving him with a mere 2 members in his army.

Click to shrink...

You've gained a large amount of power, and taken a large amount of the godmodder's power away!

The Shen Gong Wu is under the curse of repetitiveness now... you'd probably need to think of a new weapon!

I litter the middle of the feild with trap cards, rendering it impassable!

Then, I utilize the rainbow trail shortcut to move a piece to the godmodder's side! It hits the back of his side, becoming a queen!

Click to shrink...

You've gained power!

----------

CANDY POWER:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


The godmodder isn't doing so hot... But he isn't going to lose. In fact, all this so far was just him LETTING you get this far.

The godmodder decides to celebrate the SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN SEASON by going trick-or-treating! He knows all the best houses and routes, and moves ultra-fast, and knows how to squeeze the most candy out of every house! Better yet, he eventually comes upon a box full of candy with a "take-one" sign, which he takes all of!

When he returns to Candyland Checkers(the time is only 2 seconds for your perception), he has an entire bucket full of yellow-colored candy, which he dumps on his side of the board. The pieces pile up, and spill over into JOEbob's and Pluff0's side. You can hardly see the board under all this candy!


How will JOEbob or Pluff0 EVER win NOW? The godmodder looks like he's prepping for a finishing move...

CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
Candyland: Checkers edition
Board status: Three-way board, it doesn't even matter where the pieces actually are

CANDY POWER:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Health: +++++++
Pluff0
(Has Cop-out card)(Control of black candyland pieces)

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
(Has a Purple candyland card, Cop-out card)(Control of blue candyland pieces)
UNO cards: red 5, yellow 2, red 6, red 8, yellow 9, blue 8

Health: ++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")(Control of yellow candyland pieces)
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
Pluff0 being one legendary weapon in debt to you
One legendary weapon from the godmodder's stash
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you

 

[Moniker]

I feel suspicious about this development. Something isn't right...

I reach over and open one of the yellow candies... and underneath the wrapper, it's a black candy.

Eyebrow raised, I rifle through the rest of the candies in the blink of an eye. Half of them are black. Did the godmodder really think he could get away with this.

Click to shrink...

You've seized half the godmodder's power!

new weapon: energy collector. when the owner does damage to a target, gain energy proportional to the energy. once you have enough energy, you can use it to simulate double-actions or empower something.
bullshtic, man. you don't know how to do it. the candyland-checkers pieces were plastic, not real candy, and there's no rule against eating any snacks a friendly opponent brings. I get to work, nomming false piece after false piece, noting also that most of them ain't even yellow, I mean really. I then thank the godmodder for the meal, pause time, brush my teeth for 15 minutes so they won't rot, and get to playing. (this also eats most of the black pieces pluff unhid) most of the godmodders new power base is gone because it was fake, and I just ate it, so its time I finish him off.
now for my actions! my counter (eating) bottomed out the godmodders Sweet Moves meter again, so he doesn't get its benefits, and my Sweet Moves meter rose proportionally. 4 non-move actions and 3 move actions to go!
first, I start a sacrifice circle to sacrifice the rook and cannon. this will take 4 actions to complete, non-move or otherwise, counting this one.
the eye of the watcher towers are empowered by the red 5 and red 6, turning them both into the worth-5-points/pawns eye of sauron towers! the bishops with broken legs proceed to convert to sauronism, turning into Ring-Priests.
1 non-move action left!
the Ring-Priests preach sermons to the glory of sauron, converting all but one of the godmodders troops to my side. the remaining godmodder troop becomes a king- impervious to mind control, can move forwards and backwards, and losing it will lose him the game.
the sacrifice circle finishes automatically, killing the cannon and rook. then, sauron descends to the field, before gaining a power boost from the eye of sauron towers. the first troop to hit him will die, and he can survive 2 attacks. as well, sauron can move like an uber-queen (can move on all cardinals, diagonals, and can skip the triangle sector of the board).
sauron is also empowered by the ring-priests.
Sick fires meter rose! Hype meter rose partway, because saurons powers are like, so hype.
Sauron uses black magic with his powers, manipulating the luck meter to rise! luck manipulation is also pretty hype, so I gain the 4th hype meter tier, and an extra action!
3 move actions left!
sauron flys to Check! the godmodder king. Check!
the godmodders sweet moves, luck, sick fires, and hype meters all bottom out! he'd normally get to escape now, but I still have 2 move actions. sauron calls on the powers of my troops, sacrificing the bouncing gumball and archer gumball for life energy. he kills the godmodders final yellow sucker, sucking up its soul into the Red Crazy 8 card, then breaking it. Sweet moves! Luck bonus ensures the godmodder can no longer act, though this returns my luck meter to its base state. looks like the godmodders going to have to wait for me and pluff to finish up.
Also defeating one of the enemy sides gives me a Hype boost!
I still have one move action left though, so Sauron begins creation of a ring unit to allow a single revival if the godmodders been finished off, or otherwise wastes the action on killing any yellow suckers on the board, just in case.

Click to shrink...

You've gotten to eat delicious candy, AND wiped the godmodder off the map!

--------------

This game sure turns around fast! The godmodder gets out his phone and starts doing something. Meanwhile, Pluff0 is staring down the rather intimidating might of JOEbob's army. May the best man win!


CANDY POWER:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Health: +++++++
Pluff0
(Has Cop-out card)(Control of black candyland pieces)

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
(Has a Purple candyland card, Cop-out card)(Control of blue candyland pieces)
UNO cards: red 5, yellow 2, red 6, red 8, yellow 9, blue 8

Health: ++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")(Control of yellow candyland pieces)
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
Pluff0 being one legendary weapon in debt to you
One legendary weapon from the godmodder's stash
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you

 

[Moniker]

[[the "new weapon: energy collector. when the owner does damage to a target, gain energy proportional to the energy. once you have enough energy, you can use it to simulate double-actions or empower something." was intended as to replace the me being in debt with a reward.]]
5 non-move actions and 4 move actions this round. no, I'm not ditching the hype meters! also all my red uno cards should be gone.
Firstly, Ring-Priests preach their sermons. two black pieces break ranks and join my side, gaining a slight power boost.
Secondly, I start construction of a sauron empowerer (takes 3 more actions to finish)
Thirdly, I upgrade the newly-gained black pieces into Eye of the watcher towers.
Fourthly, ring-priests begin construction of a Ring-High Bishop, which will take until next Post to finish.
fifthly, the eye of the watcher towers uses level 5 disconcerting oogle on the black licorice pieces, reducing any gathered hype. they probably didn't have any to begin with, since they wasted their actions last round on nothing while the commander preformed a single non-move action... though they do have a lot in their Sweet Moves meter, since capturing half the godmodders army in one action is a pretty sweet move
the sauron empowerer item then drops, empowering both eye of the watcher towers into mini-Eye of Sauron towers, together worth equivalent to one normal eye of sauron tower.
now for the four move actions!
sauron looks around and remembers a pluff troop used a shortcut to reach the godmodder area. he then fires a sauron lazer into the single troops face. they die.
Sauron proceeds to move into pluff territory, using a hop-chain-combo like the rook once did, clearing out about half the army.
Sweet moves!
sauron has 2 moves left, so he transforms a nearby licorice piece into a - bomb, thats really more of a laser cannon- it fires to its left and right, clearing out an entire row. this troop has a delay of one before firing, and dies after firing. as a cost, sauron empties out my Sick Fires meter that wasn't that full anyway but whatever.
finally, sauron flees back to my base...
and the - bomb explodes, killing a row of pluff troops.

Click to shrink...

Pluff0's forces are utterly obliterated! Mostly because him quitting the game really makes his pieces morale drop.

I glance at my non-existent watch, and my eyebrows shoot up.

"Well, would you look at the time," I say, "between homework and binging Stranger Things, it seems that I won't have any time for games!"

I stand and saunter away from the triple candy-checker board, taking my legendary weapon debt with me. Looks like JOEbob will have to deal with the godmodder on his own.

Click to shrink...

You've rejoined the HEXAGONAFIELD, and absconded while you had the chance!

--------

CANDY POWER:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

JOEbob is the indisputable winner! The godmodder loses 3 health!


And now, this game is rapidly reaching its conclusion. The godmodder is battled down to his last shreds of HP. So then... that means its time. Time for the final game. The final trial. The only game left to even possibly play. Sudden... deathmatch...

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!!

This is no ordinary rock paper scissors. This is EXPANDED rock paper scissors! In addition to your standard plays, you also have Fire/Dynamite/Gun, which beats rock, paper, and scissors, but can only be played once! Then you have Water, which beats Fire/Dynamite/Gun, but loses to everything else!

You're playing 2 out of 3. JOEbob and the godmodder face each other, and throw their hands down...

ROCK...

PAPER...

(What do you play?)


CURRENT SITUATION:
Game: Rock Paper Scissors

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
(Has a Purple candyland card, Cop-out card)
UNO cards: red 5, yellow 2, red 6, red 8, yellow 9, blue 8

Health: +++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
One legendary weapon from the godmodder's stash
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you

 

[Moniker]

so can I put energy collector. when the owner does damage to a target, gain energy proportional to the damage. once you have enough energy, you can use it to simulate double-actions or empower something in the place of me being in debt as the reward the winner'd get (coloured instead of quotes or brackets because wynut)?
anyway, moi actionorino.
ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, Shoot!
now, dear moniker/the godmodder, try to guess what I've chosen! and no, I don't plan to yatzee his battleship with my sauron from space 7D in Chinese checkers.
make your guess, oh godmodder (IC) and moniker (OOC) and open the spoiler below.

Spoiler

so, you made your guess?

Spoiler

just to make sure...

Spoiler

I'll give you a few

Spoiler

more seconds.

Spoiler

I played Combo hand: Srovy token, The token, and communist token, combining into the power of 3 bullshtick tokens. a bullshtick token beats everything, except knife, but I have the power of three bullshtick tokens. the first, I play. the second, I use to ensure the godmodder can't make the required hand-movements for knife. the third, I use to ensure that we are not including knife as an option in this game of rock paper scissors. that is so bullshit, the godmodder might exclaim, but hey, it is in the name.
to put it another way, I use those bullshtick tokens for an insta-win.

I proceed to shiver. its a bit cold in here, and I don't have my blankets any more.

Click to shrink...

The Energy Collector seems neat, but difficult to account for, compared to the Shen Gong Wu's one-note effect. Maybe try something... simpler?

-------

JOEbob pulls out all his tokens, and plays BULLSHTICK! He wins this match against the godmodder, but wait... The godmodder couldn't play Knife, but he DID play "blade of grass" a special secret technique that immediately destroys everything in the enemy player's inventory, and removes the ability to use any sort of token or power-up or ANYTHING! This includes JOEbob's cop-out card. JOEbob's won this round, but he won't win another. Because you're playing 2 out of 3, of course. Who DOESN'T play Rock-Paper-Scissors 2 out of 3?



CURRENT SITUATION:
Game: Rock Paper Scissors

Joebob: 1/2 Wins
Godmodder: 0/2 Wins

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
(Can't use powerups!)

Health: +++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
One legendary weapon from the godmodder's stash
JOEbob being one legendary weapon in debt to you

 

[Moniker]

[hm, not the energy collector... how about a booster to charges (IE: they charge an extra 50% faster or something)? it'd help both the godmodder and a player, so, what do you think?]
[if not, how about a shade machine (on death of an entity, stores the entitys shade indefinitely. when you want it, you can use the shade for a themed effect?)]
[or, since I don't want the end result being my debt cuz thats useless for me if I win, how about being able to give entitys (you don't own?) an extra action (as a free action)
yeah, you already said this RPS match was 2/3.
now, my action is below.

Spoiler

have you decided?

Spoiler

liar, you didn't decide in advance last time

Spoiler

now Make a choice.

Spoiler

because thats how the game is played.

Spoiler

I play RPS!
that is to say, rocket propelled sledgehammer.
I swing it back for a sec, then slam it into the godmodders chosen move. rocks get shattered, scissors get broken, paper burned by the rocket, explosives get knocked away, water is ineffectual, knifes are too short range, dragon is too anachronistic, blade of grass gets burnt, etc.
I then combo the blow, slamming into the godmodder himself. he gets knocked back a mere centimeter, but before he can react...
I remind him of the physics stuff from the past. classical conditioning causes him to get constipated, because he had to use the washroom really bad when I told him that stuff.
the godmodder got a headache from the physics stuff.
headaches hurt.
pain is not damage, though.
not... directly.
as the godmodder rushes into his bathroom, the headache intensifies as he realises that there weren't any mind-controled army men left to pardon him, and that a black-hole-immune gravity-stabilization field generator would not be immune to white holes, and break down soon after my attack as a white hole appears in his stomach, removing the GS field generator. the size of the white hole is unspecified, and since we don't know how white holes work, and his blank map corresponds to blank territorys via his reality warping godmodder powers, white holes don't have any weird requirements and can be of any size, so now he has indigestion, and his gravity stabilization field generator is broken, and the white-hole is much smaller then the black hole, so the black hole pulls up the rock...
the rock which regained what power it had back when I was preserving it in the past. and regained even more of its power just now as i called attention to it. no, it wasn't as strong as yorehammer, but it worked the same way. the headache gets worse as he stumbles onto the toilet, and begins to... relieve himself. he trys to do so, but it hurts to try. he godmodds away the problem. now he can poo, yay.
the rock comes out his butt.
the pain of trying to relieve himself was the well-timed impact of the rock flying up his butt. he'd have noticed, but mumbo-jumbo headache. the rock was drawn in by the black hole as stated.
oh, and he still hasn't bothered to make himself immune to rocks, highly-compressed planet-mass ones or otherwise.

Spoiler

this does not deal damage. it merely distracts him a bit too much to choose something to counter the sledgehammer, letting me win the sidequest. heh, knew I'd find a use for it.

also, you clearly didn't choose the godmodders move before opening the last time spoiler. shame on you! you don't get to change your move to account for your opponents in real RPS!

Click to shrink...

The godmodder tells you how he knows what you're going to play: He studies competitive Rock-Paper-Scissors for 15 years. As you start to move your hand to make a specific shape, the godmodder immediately reads the shape in 1 microsecond and then plays the appropriate counter. So the spoilers and such are pointless. As is all resistance. For example, this "RPS" move is clearly just a "fire" equivalent, and it was made quite clear at the start that "fire" equivalents all count as "fire", and are countered by water - which the godmodder plays. You lose. Sheesh. If you're going to try to pull something like that, at least go the full way and play DOUBLE fire. Looks like it's game point...

(Oh, and your attack did 1 damage. The godmodder makes himself immune to rock damage, re-immunizes himself against any bathroom-related damage, and rock damage, and blah blah blah, etc.)

YOREHAMMER STEAL ROLL: Failure. Though, you could have wagered it, if you had won it.

You have wagered the CHARGE BOOSTER! Use it to charge x2 instead x1 with your actions! It's... kind of a crappy Legendary Artifact, though. It tends to burn out, or sometimes draw on a little too much entropy, when used a lot.


CURRENT SITUATION:
Game: Rock Paper Scissors

Joebob: 1/2 Wins
Godmodder: 1/2 Wins

Health: +++++++++
JOEbob
(Can't use powerups!)

Health: +++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
One legendary weapon from the godmodder's stash
Charge Booster (x2 charging)

 

[Moniker]

please read this post in the way it displays after posting, as opposed to in the edit view where spoilers do nothing.
tsk tsk tsk.
if its game point now it was game point before. I have 3 times as many health +'s as him, and the scaling of damage so far means even if I lose I'd lost at most 6 of them, and thats being generous. its more likely that I'd lose like 4.
and I'm pretty sure game point means one of people could win right now, but not the other.
I reply to the godmodder that thats very strange, aSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFDOPSGJUISSHFNIDRSIKLA:LDOK
engaging impartial narration...
it would appear that JOE is having a seizure. this is strange, as he has never had one before. well, shall you play rock paper scissors with him while he has this problem as opposed to waiting? yes? good good.
placing blindfolds on JOE and the godmodders eyes...
searching for void players....
detected heir of void. mindcontrolling... removing flaws... controlling... forcing to aid...
it is now impossible for omnisience to allow knowledge of one anothers thoughts, and we are shrouded from one anothers view, though the godmodder can probably pierce that, and indeed does, so he can still see the spazzing out JOE. JOE continues to have a siezure. rock, paper, scissors, shoot, freezing time, removing void effect, checking godmodders move, checking JOE's move...
JOEs move at the moment of timefreeze seemed to be...

Spoiler

banana split which is on fire and has lazers. guess it was too much to expect him to be...

Spoiler

coherent. luckily, the godmodder didn't know which hand was going to focussed on. the other hand was splayed, which most closely resembles paper. don't ask how to make bswiofahl, trying to do it will usually break...

Spoiler

the users bones. the godmodder used scissors, which would counter me if I had been playing with my dominant hand like before...

Spoiler

but having a seizure somehow reversed my handedness temporarily, meaning my left hand was the one I had a modicum of control over and as such the one...

Spoiler

that would be judged. bswiofahl loses to fire and anything involving excessive....

Spoiler

heat. scissors does not have those properties, so bswiofahl can defeat it with...

Spoiler

Heh, bet I had you going there. his hands show paper and bswiofahl, but his body is contorted into the shape of a giant weird plus sign.
giant weird plus sign loses only to paper, on which you can write it.
did I fool you? if you didn't realise the whole thing was a Distaction, then that means JOE won. heh. mind games. heheh.

If you are not moniker and read this post, please do not comment on it and only react to it as if the last spoiler did not exist.

in other news, yay, I managed to deal damage to the godmodder in the middle of a sidequest!
also, though this isn't my action, the description of the game said:
"Then you have Water, which beats Fire/Dynamite/Gun, but loses to everything else!".
which would mean it Would lose to RPS, which isn't fire, or dynamite, or a gun, so you be inconsistent.

Click to shrink...

Fire/Dynamite/Gun was clearly meant to indicate an instant-win move equivalent! You are a fool for not recognizing it.

You use SECRET TECHNIQUE PLUS SIGN! The thing is, of course, the godmodder wasn't using mind-reading to see moves, though he could if he wanted to. He was reading the motions your hands would make, and then playing. The godmodder has x-ray vision, which lets him see through ANYTHING, including blindfolds! He easily sees what you're trying to pull! In one hand is Fire. In the second hand, scissors. His body is temporarily flattened, revealing PAPER. Beaten. Beaten. Beaten.

--------

The godmodder uses his hands and body to roast JOEbob, to cut JOEbob, and to cover JOEbob up! ...Yeah, paper was always kind of weird. In any case, JOEbob has LOST! He's blasted away, losing 8 HP!

The godmodder grins wickedly. He had a chance. And he lost. Next up. The FINAL game, the game of JOEbob's brutal execution.

Hangman.

A set of gallows appears. JOEbob is led up the steps by the executioner. The godmodder, watching from far above, tells JOEbob that he'll give him one more chance: He just has to guess a word, and he'll be free. Each turn, he can guess either the entire word or one letter of the word. For every wrong guess he makes, he loses a body part! Good luck, JOEbob!

THE WORD:
_ _ _ _


CURRENT SITUATION:
Game: Hangman

JOEbob: All body parts normal

Health: +
JOEbob
(Can't use powerups!)

Health: +++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
UNO cards: 6 cards

Current stakes:
One legendary weapon from the godmodder's stash
Charge Booster (x2 charging)