Defeat The Godmodder

[Moniker]

I challenge the GM to a match (best 2 out of 3) of Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker. Winner gets the Shen Gong Wu (necklace of the hare, which adds +1 to the total actions a person can do per turn(does not stack with legendary weapon so a player on gets 7 not 8) and a legendary weapon of their choice.

Click to shrink...

(Do note that this game will take your full concentration! You won't be able to affect the battlefield while playing.)

SIDEQUEST BEGUN: Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker!

You and one of the godmodder's clones (which are directly controlled by his consciousness, essentially acting as an extension of himself, allowing him to participate without leaving the battlefield - an ability which you unfortunately lack) find yourselves in a massive, brightly-lit room, with a table in front of you. The both of you sit down, and it's time to play.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

First up, the small set of rules Eevee Shadow Bacon laid out beforehand are thrown in the garbage. The godmodder's been training at Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker for 16 YEARS, and he considers himself a true master!

The deck is shuffled and each of you are dealt a hand. You look down at your own cards. You've got...

D20 ROLL: 16

Good luck! You have three red bishops, a pawn, and a queen. Three of a kind!

Godmodder's D20 ROLL: ?? + 1

Is the godmodder boosting his luck somehow? Of course he is. In any case, what move will you make now?


CURRENT SITUATION:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon The Godmodder
(Has three red bishops, a pawn, and a queen) (Has ???)

Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon


(OOC: It's too late to back out now, Eevee. I am going to have some FUN with this sidequest!)

 

[Moniker]

"Brown!? What alignment is brown?!" I think upon hearing the attendant speak. Maybe the merchant alignment...?

Despite the fact that he seems to be a regular merchant, I still don't trust food and drink in this world. "No need, but thank you for your offer anyways!"

Now, time to continue onwards, to the castle!

Click to shrink...

You head right back out the shop. You make a decision: No more stopping. You are heading STRAIGHT to the castle. No interruptions!

You keep walking along the road. You don't see any buildings aside from the coffee shop, but the road keeps making these weird twists and turns. All you need to do is go straight, but the road dodges left and right, and even goes backwards at one point! You think about leaving the road to walk to the castle without it, but then have second thoughts and decide to stay on the path. Finally, you reach the foot of the castle. Outside are two more guards, who bow upon noticing you.

Guard 1: Please come inside. An escort will be with you shortly.

Why does everyone seem to be expecting you? In any case, you head inside the castle as requested. No reason not to.

Inside the castle is a stark contrast to everywhere else you've been. Everything is opulently decorated, and the place is bustling with life and activity. The castle's insides are completely white, same color as the outside. The chandelier is white. The couches and cushions are white. Looking closer, the people are ALSO white - dressed in white armor, that is. You still can't see anything underneath. Thinking back, the Attendant from the coffee shop... you can't even remember what he looks like. You're sure you saw him, but you can't remember...

You move to talk to someone, but before you can, your "escort" arrives. Two particularly large guards.

Bulky Guard: Right this way. Master wishes to meet you.

You don't really think it's optional.

You're led to an elevator. They push a button, and you're off to the 999th floor. This elevator ride... will probably take a while.

So, while you're riding up, you should go over what you know so far... some weird path, with trees that had faces twisted into them, but despite that, still managed to be the most lifeless forest you've ever seen. A stream, which you ignored. A guard, who let you in saying you were expected. A coffee shop, which you didn't order anything from. And now, this elevator ride, with these "escorts."


Do you want to talk to them? Ride patiently? Press every button to make the elevator stop on every floor just because? What do you want to do?

Dreamland Castle: Elevator
Bulky Guard 1(can be talked to)
Bulky Guard 2(can be talked to)
Elevator Panel

 

[Moniker]

I pop my neck, removing the kinks in it (which also makes a lovely popping sound) and slowly scan my hand, feild, and surrounding areas, all while remembering what is the optimal play I can make before performing it.

Click to shrink...

You play your COP-OUT CARD! There's an audible boo from an audience you didn't even know you had. What a cop-out! The cop-out card automatically makes a good play for you, but you only get one. If you ever try anything like that again, it'll be sure to backfire!

You law down your three red bishops. One in an upper-left corner. One in the middle. One in the lower-right corner. That's right...

TIC! TAC! TOE!

The godmodder is sent reeling. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? He loses 1 Health + right off the bat! But he's quick to recover. A new hand is dealt, but suddenly, you realize that one of the cards in your hand... it's... DEATH TWISTER!

A standard twister mat appears next to the table Then, you get a voodoo doll. You must "strip" the voodoo doll of its clothes (its not anatomically correct, don't worry), and every motion the doll makes, you ALSO have to make (This does not extend to the doll's/your clothes, just the limbs)! But... you have to play Twister at the same time! The game immediately gets rolling. You get a brief glance at the godmodder and see he's doing perfectly. The spinner lands; you have to put your right hand on a red circle!

Quick! What do you do? What's your strategy?

CURRENT SITUATION:

Health: ++++++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon
(Has a pawn, and a queen)
(Voodoo doll: All clothes on)
(Twister mat: Right hand - red circle)

Health: +++++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ???)
(Voodoo doll: All clothes on)
(Twister mat: Left foot - blue circle)


Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon

 

[Moniker]

I use my unusually sharp teeth to bite and deconstruct the clothes, thread by thread, off the doll, while holding it steady with my left hand, as I place right hand on a red circle.

Click to shrink...

Ah yes, the old de-thread shenanigans!

You successfully pull off the doll's clothes, with minimal limb jerking! The godmodder has used his powers of extreme dexterity to do backflips, and the two of you manage to finish at the same time! TIED ROUND!

The game of twister stops. Suddenly, you find a cue stick in your hand, and a pool table in front of you. A simple un-numbered white ball is set in front of you, and a triangle full of other colored and numbered balls is on the other side. That's right... it's time for CHUTES AND LADDERS.

You find yourself shrunken down to the size of an ant! It's the godmodders turn... what's he going to roll on the spinner?

GODMODDER'S D10 ROLL: 9+1

High roll! Bad luck! The godmodder successfully executes LADDERSNAKE SMASH, where he hits the balls in such a way that they make a big line as they roll towards you! Also, snakes rise out of the ground and tie your feet down, preventing you from moving your legs or jumping! Quick! What's your dodging strategy!? Or strategy in general?


CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
Chutes and Ladders, Pool Edition
Godmodder's turn

Health: ++++++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon
(Has a pawn, and a queen)
(size of an ant - needs to dodge pool balls!)

Health: +++++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ???)


Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon

Wouldn't it be better to show health as numbers? it's pretty difficult to see a change in the health bar. At least in these colors.

Click to shrink...

Oh sure, showing health as numbers instead of +s might have silly, intangible benefits such as "being easier to understand" and "being way more practical", but using +s has REAL benefits like "being much cooler".

 

[Moniker]

Well, this has been an interesting... However long it took me to get here from the start of the path. An hour? Two hours? "Man, my sense of time is getting really screwed up. Maybe it was caused by of whatever's caused the literal physic breaking path?... Eh, no time to worry about that."

"So..." I start, looking at the guards, "Why does your master want to see me? And who are they, may I ask?"

Click to shrink...

Guard 1: He said he needs to discuss your Legendary Weapon debt with you. He may be able to help you.
Guard 1: They are our master. Little else matters.

As he says the second line, you see him twitch a little.

Dreamland Castle: Elevator
Bulky Guard 1(can be talked to)
Bulky Guard 2(can be talked to)
Elevator Panel

 

[Moniker]

I pullout my potion of invincibility and smash it over my head. The potion tricks down covering me in an aura of invincibility, meaning the snake snap off my legs and I cooly dodge the balls, while carefully tracking the balls trajectory.

Click to shrink...

Invincibility wouldn't make the snakes snap off your legs! Instead, the 1-ball that hits you clatters off and goes spinning into one of the holes! You get a "Y"! You need to complete "YAHTZEE" to win!

The balls scatter all about the field. Now, the godmodder shrinks down, and its your turn to fire at him!

What's your strategy?


CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
Chutes and Ladders, Pool Edition
Eevee's turn

Health: ++++++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon
(Has a pawn, and a queen, and "Y")

Health: +++++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ???)
(size of an ant - needs to dodge pool balls!)

Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon

 

[Moniker]

"Your master, eh? The "decent salary with dental' kind of master, or the 'submit to my will and fulfill my every order' kind of master?" I think, but don't say. The amount of space to move around in the room is too small to fight well in, and considering it's two on one, I don't like the odds.

Instead, I just wait the rest of the ride out, until the top floor is reached.

Click to shrink...

You wait for a few minutes, and eventually, you reach the top floor.

You exit the elevator from a combination of you slowly walking forward and the guards impatiently nudging you out. The elevator closes behind you and leaves for a different floor. The guards do not follow you.

In stark contrast to the bright white of the rest of the castle, this room is dark. The walls might also be white, but you can't see the sides of the room. It could be massive or tiny, but the only light is a small candle on a desk in front of you. You walk over, and sit down on a short chair in front of the desk. You see another, much taller chair behind the desk, with a well-dressed figure sitting on it. It's so dark, you can't quite make out his face.

???: Hello. And thank you, for coming here today.
???: Really, I appreciate your visit! It's an honest thing to do, wanting to clear your debts. It's not often you see such character in our world.
???: Please. Have some tea.

You notice some tea on the desk. Was that there before? It looks piping hot and a normal brown color. After all that walking, you are a little thirsty...

???: In any event, I'm sure you don't want to waste too much more time here. I won't leave you hanging. Let's get straight to business.

The shrouded figure slides a white piece of paper on the text. Flat, computer-type text is written over it.

???: You want a legendary weapon, and I can get you one. But legendary weapons are extremely powerful. I'm not willing to hand it over for anything silly, like money.
???: For a legendary weapon, I want... power. The power of a Player. Your power, specifically.
???: But I'm not so unreasonable as to ask for your entire soul. I just want a very limited amount.
???: 5 posts. If you do it, any time I want, I'll be able to edit your post text. Whether the edit is small or large, it will still count towards that total. Essentially, I'll get to act as you.
???: I could make you do me a favor, or heal an entity I want to keep alive. It doesn't matter. In the long-term, it will be of little consequence.
???: And in exchange, you will have... the Resolute Heart.
???: Though it counts as one of the Legendary Weapons, it isn't exactly a weapon - it serves a dual defensive and offensive purpose.
???: Anything that holds it can't get negative status effects. For example: Paralysis, confusion, etc., etc.
???: I'm sure you're aware of how entities can be stunned or confused or burned or poisoned or weakened, or have their attacks reflected back at them or to one of their own allies. If you held the Resolute Heart, this couldn't happen to you.
???: Players are almost complete invulnerable, but that doesn't make it useless. In attacks you would launch against the godmodder, it would be certain to make it much harder for the godmodder to stop you. And what's more, anyone who held it could give the effects to their entities - curing them of their own status effects, and such.
???: But I'll throw in something more, too. For the first time it's on the AG side, I'll make it so the godmodder can't steal it from you. He can only take it if someone gives it to him willingly.
???: And as long as that doesn't happen, your side can keep it without problems - so long as you keep juggling it between players, of course.
???: So what do you say? Feel free to read over the contract.

You do read over the contract. You aren't a lawyer, but it pretty much says everything he just told you in more legalese-y terms. Nothing seems out of the ordinary.

???: If you have any questions, feel free to ask. This is a great opportunity for you! So many of the Legendary Weapons would be behind much more challenging sidequests.

 

[Moniker]

I glance down at the contract once more, then back up at the shrouded face."Well... The contract does seem to not have any fine print to it, and I can pay off the debt... But there is something kind of suspicious about this guy... Maybe the orange text?"

Well, he did say feel free to ask any questions. "Well, your deal does sound very nice, ah... What is your name, if I may ask? I heard your guards call you 'Master' but I want to know who you really are known as."

"Irregardless, what do you want to use my powers to accomplish? Few people want to have that power just for the fun of it."

Click to shrink...

???: My name? You can call me L.
???: In any event, what I wish to use your powers for is my business.
???: But I wouldn't worry too much. I have objectives of my own to accomplish that are only somewhat related to the war you're fighting.

Now, then, what will it be?

 

[Moniker]

I carefully alline my shot so one ball will are off a chain reaction where all the balls will start bouncing of the walls and each oth and gain speed at an steadily increasing speed.

Click to shrink...

You use PERPETUAL MOTION STRIKE! The balls all hit each other in a perfect way that results in them all eternally gaining speed! Or that's what would have happened, if that was physically possible, which its not. You just hit the balls normally, and the godmodder dodges effortlessly (he escaped the snakes by taming them).

It's your turn again, held in place. But the godmodder doesn't even aim for you. He uses ULTIPRECISION STRIKE, which results in the balls all landing in their holes, in perfect order, with only the cue ball left out. The godmodder has won this round. You lose 2 health! He gets the "A" and "H" of YAHTZEE.

The godmodder smiles. This little game you're playing... it's sure to end in your defeat at this rate. You don't have any crazy plans or hidden victory conditions - you're just trying to play like a normal human. And against the godmodder, that strategy stands no chance. Not even a 19% chance.

Next up, a deck of cards appears in the sky. On its front is a spanish number. UNO!

YOUR D20 CARD ROLL: 9

GODMODDER'S D20 CARD ROLL: ?? + 1

You're dealt a standard hand of five UNO cards. Luckily, you do have two special cards. You don't know what hand the godmodder has, but he has a cruel smile on his face...

The first card laid down is a green "2".

CURRENT SITUATION:

GAME:
UNO
Facing card: Green 2
Eevee's turn

Health: ++++++++
Eevee Shadow Bacon
(Has a pawn, and a queen, and "Y")
UNO cards: Blue skip-turn card, color-changing card, yellow 3, green ten, blue 4

Health: +++++++++
The Godmodder
(Has ??? chess pieces, ??? UNO cards and "A" and "H")
(size of an ant - needs to dodge pool balls!)

Current stakes:
Shen Gong Wu(+1 actions per turn)
One legendary weapon

 

[Moniker]

I almost continued pushing him for answers, but, well, I didn't want to come all this way, and go home empty handed.

"You know what, L? I may still be a little suspicious of you... But you've got yourself a deal."

Click to shrink...

The contract is handed back to you, and a standard ballpoint pen appears in your palms. You sign your full, legal name:

Arsenical

You hand the contract back to L, and he signs in turn:

Lucifer

Lucifer: Correct choice. Now, as is complimentary, you shall be provided safe passage home.

A portal appears before you. Nervous, you step into it.


...And you're back on the HEXAGONAFIELD!


SIDEQUEST COMPLETE!

Rewards: 1x Resolute Heart (Unstealable)


You can feel it... the Resolute Heart is in your hands, and the godmodder couldn't take it from you or any of your AG friends, unless you give it up willingly. But your soul feels heavier... that would probably be your post-debt!

And there's something else, too. An incredible feeling of dread. Something you might have overlooked.

Consider your next move very, very carefully.