Defeat The Godmodder

[hungry visitor]

It seems people still are in doubt about my true identity.

Your word doubts the law of Moniker

Your doubts are [NOT VALID]

You shall not doubt the word of your God beloved OP

 

[Daskter]

I whisper to the winds... I wish for something that can increase my soldiers damage by a factor of their original damage... To increase their Firepower and get better armor


3 Actions:
I create a Massive Party Cake, it can satisfy thousands for Party
and it is absolutely the best for Parties.

Ingredients Include:
Deliciousness
Vanilla
Chocolate Frosting
The happy feelings from this turn

Recommended you eat with a group/party for maximum Delectability!

 

[JOEbobobob]

A Man by the name of Archmage Xilith walks to the HEXAGONFIELD.
Bleeding from his right leg and using his great Voidmetal capped Ichorium Stave as a humble walking stick, he hobbles towards the presents. after casting an obscure shield spell, he uses the wand focus: portable hole to retrieve a potion of instant health, drinking it quickly and sighing as his wound quickly heals.
He surveys the line of presents, looking for the one closest to dark, partially desaturated purple, and walks to it, radiating an aura of regale power... which literally everyone ignores because of his lack of power by comparison to anyone else on the field.
"I vipx gjo qxm csbdifaqijf jg dy ompmaocx, qxm kmogmcq vmakjf. qxm qaifq."
"Qxaq vxicx caf hmpqojy mumoyqxife, ymq rm tmkq aq ray ry qxip pidkbm gbjvmo."
"I vipx gjo a pifebm pxaoh, qxm qifimpq kimcm, tmymh qj dy pjsb. ifhmpqoscqirbm mwcmkq ry dy vibb."
"Afh pj I xaum paih,a afh pj iq pxabb rm."
encoding method. Key: Archmage Xilith.
Do not open the spoiler unless you can't get the encoder to work or, having quoted the post, it is auto-opened.

Spoiler

"I wish for the culmination of my research, the perfect weapon. the taint."
"That which can destroy everything, yet be kept at bay by this simple flower."
"I wish for a single shard, the tiniest piece, keyed to my soul. indestructible except by my will."
"And so I have said, and so it shall be."

Out from the present he pulls a globule of tainted substance, purple and dripping, though it cannot function so close to the flower which he holds. he runs off to a distant area of the HEXAGONFIELD, bringing his source of taint with him. this shall do nothing yet, or for a very, very long time.

/PresentClaimPostSemiNull

 

[The_Two_Eternities]

the Wolf pack, monkeys, and Simurgh are cuddling,

Click to shrink...

"Awwwwwww-"

the Scarlet Prince is... existing...

Click to shrink...

"... Well that sounds kind of mean."

Taking the present in the seasonal theme, I whisper to the wind. "I wish for something that the Second Scarlet Prince can cuddle, like a giant teddy bear." Then, I reach into the present and pull out what I feel, while revving up my jetpack in case it's something really tall.

"Simurgh, Second Scarlet Prince, Pack of Packed Wolves, Monkeys, there's been a change of plans. Everyone, attack Xerath!"

I looked at the cooking contest. "Hmm. You know, I bet the Foundation could do something pretty cool with

FOCUS: 914 AND PANCAKES

."

After sending the request back to the Foundation, I waited... and waited... Until suddenly a portal opened and two things came through. First, a platter with five delicious-looking pancakes and a stick of butter, and second,

Spoiler: a piece of paper.

Name: Dr. Clef
Date: 12/██/2017
Total Items: Thirty (30) identical buttermilk pancakes grouped into three (3) stacks (Other notable ingredients: Vanilla, cinnamon, ginger), six (6) unopened sticks of [REDACTED] brand butter

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Fine
Output: The pancakes were uniformly golden brown, due to the fact that they appeared to have been made by heat transfer from a fourth spatial dimension. The butter, after chemical analysis, was found to be completely chemically uniform.

Note 1: Not bad. Anyone want some before they spoil? Bright ate all the butter, though.
-Clef

Note 2: I did not! You did! And also, what just happened? I made a joke about the pancakes being hungry and they just spontaneously turned into pieces of paper saying "[NOT VALID]"!
-Bright

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Fine
Output: The pancakes displayed small cosmetic differences, due to the fact that they appear to have been made with a different recipe, with similar changes for the butter. Five (5) pancakes and one (1) stick of butter were used in flavor testing.

Note 3: Okay, those were a lot better than regular pancakes.
-Clef

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Similar results to the second test. The opinions of the researchers who consumed one (1) pancake and one-fifth (¹/5) of a stick of butter each in flavor testing are as follows:

Agent P█████ W███: [Excited gesticulation]
Agent M█████: [Excited gesticulation]
Agent S██████: "Meh. What's so special about them?"
Agent S█████ S. P█████: "I can't really taste anything."
Doctor Alto Clef: "These are really good pancakes."

Input: Five (5) pancakes from the second test, one (1) stick of butter from the second test
Setting: Fine
Output: Upon opening the output door of SCP-914, [DATA EXPUNGED] self-replicating [DATA EXPUNGED] emergency relative defictionalization [DATA EXPUNGED] when Mr. Davis was contacted, SCP-3086 breached containment when the conversation derailed into the subject of a blue cat [DATA EXPUNGED] But you know who pays a lot more respect to his characters than Mister Davis? My creator Saul Szyslak, that's who! He made every single panel absolutely unique! [DATA EXPUNGED] And- Oh. Oh dear. This place doesn't look friendly. I think I want to go back.

I turned the page over, and found some handwriting on the back. "Nice going. Now I have to avert the avertion of the assassination of Kennedy while wearing a teal chinchilla suit. -TX"

"Ooooookaaaay. Well, by process of elimination, I guess this is from the third test."

Still a little baffled, I enter the pancakes into the cooking contest.

 

[Arsenical]

THE BURNING BULGOGI created! DELECTABILITY RATING: 140 - Lip-smacking! It goes into Slot 5: Attack!

-------

The present looks big and beautiful, attracting the attention of the entire HEXAGONAFIELD. You see, it's to celebrate something very special.

5 years ago, TT2000 (who is now called Moniker, and is me) created the original game: Destroy the Godmodder! Okay, five years and two days, December 7th 2012. It's been a long time since then, and for a random forum game to gain so many sequels and survive so long is truly a cause for celebration. Thus, on the HEXAGONAFIELD today, all the entities have stopped fighting in order to celebrate. It's as though it's the Christmas Truce, but with a random forum game's anniversary instead! The Godslayer does a barrel roll, everyone on the Space Station does the office secret santa party (and nobody gets murdered, THIS turn), the Wolf pack, monkeys, and Simurgh are cuddling, and the Scarlet Prince is... existing... and getting healed by Pike!

The Starcraft army shares their drinks with Grog Strongjaw, the Sith Army and Temporal Guardian are napping on the Apex, the Snake Charmer is entertaining the Soulraze builders, and the Void army is dancing a dark satanic dance. Everyone is at peace! Your entities will obey the orders you gave them, just... next turn.

The present, the celebratory centerpiece, will remain on the field for 2 turns! Each player can use it once, reaching inside and seeing what they grab out - and it's a free use, not costing one of your precious actions! Simply whisper to the wind what you hope to get for Anniversarymas, and you might just get it!

Note: Please actually say what you want to get for best results
Note2: Our currently sidequesting players will be guaranteed to get a chance to open the present when they return

-------

THE HEXAGONAFIELD:

COOKING CONTEST:

Player dishes:
1/HP: Cheesecake of Life: 210 Delectability!
2/HP: Love Ramen: 90 Delectability!
3/HP: Weird Cake: 50 delectability!
4/A: AMAZING Ice Cream: 80 Delectability!
5/A: Burning Bulgogi: 140 Delectability!
6/Dodge Rate: Combo Dinner: 270 Delectability!
7/Regen: N/A
8/Special: N/A
9/Special: N/A
10/Damage Resistance: N/A

Total delectability: 840

Complete in 1 turn!

MYSTERIOUS PRESENT:
No players have opened it yet!

Click to shrink...

Taking a short break from cooking, Arsenical wanders over to the box in the center of the hexagonafield. "Tis' the season, ey?"

There was a few things he could get. His memories back, Travelius back, hot chocolate, maybe a pony, but no. He could get all of that later. Right now, he needs one thing, and one thing only.

"For Hexagonamas, I wish... That I can be freed from all debts, and all oaths! I want to be freeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

While he waits for that to take effect (or some other effect, knowing our hero's luck), he decided to take part in some other actions.

Action Number One & Two: Humble Tea

Well, back to the cooking. He could only make one more thing, but what?

... There isn't many drinks.

So, Arsenical got to work. He pulled his mobile kitchen back into his pocket, and took out only a few items: A worn tea kettle, a set of chipped cups, a small jar of crushed tea leaves, and a comfy mat, for him to sit on.

The kettle is filled with water, and a fire is lit beneath. Our cook thinks of the tea, and of this time of peace. It's nice. With such constant war and destruction, you can forget what you truly want. It is a fragile peace, and it will wither away. But you can gain something from it before the battle is over. Just like tea.

Oh, the water is boiling. Better remove the heat.

Once the heat is removed, the water is poured into the teacups and pot, then the water is returned to the teapot. This was a step that was supposed to keep the cup's temperature consistent, or so Arsenical heard.

Finally, the crushed tea leaves are put into steep in the hot water. The fragments of the plant dance in the water, falling gently, until the rest at the bottom. These leaves weren't special. They weren't grown from a plant that was several thousand years old, or blessed by a god. They were, for all intents and purposes, just regular tea leaves.

But even the most simple ingredients can make a wonderful creation, if you put your heart into it. Knowing all of you, though, I should warn you that that's not literal.

Now, with the tea finely steeped, Arsenical pours the tea into four cups. This tea had no need for a name. It was simply tea.

Action Number Three: TNT! I'M DYNAMITE!

The now MOSTLY FULL-GROWN EXPLOSION ELEMENTAL considers exploding from the pocket.

... Eh, nah. It was comfy in here, and the guy was making tea. That would just be rude.

They kind of wondered how they still fit in the pocket, however, since they were much bigger then when they were a baby.

(5/10)

 

[pionoplayer]

Ah, if me giving charges to other people doesn't result in me dropping in the neutraladder I'll stick around as an AG then.

Present: the improbabiltiy drive dings and instead of Piono pulling out something out of the present, the improbability drive follows some preprogrammed orders and pulls out "something that will enable Piono to go on a journey of self-discovery while still charging stuff outside of the sidequest... but not yet."

Piono looks out over the field.
"Hmm... I should probably help with the cooking contest. I'm gonna need all three of my actions for this."
Piono messes with his watch and temporarily deactivates the improbability drive.
Piono turns back to the three NPCPs.
"You guys wait here, I'm gonna try and do something crazy"
Piono pulls out what looks like a pizza with a face, then opens up the mouth and steps through it into his inventory.
The pizza's mouth closes and it winks out of existence.

"Alright... food... food... food... Maybe I can prepare something myself?"
"But I don't know how to cook!"
"Hm... maybe there's something around here that can help with that."
Piono begins looking and looking in the food section of his inventory, and finally finds a massive shelf full of cookbooks.
"Betty Crocker's Family Cookbook... 1001 Low Carb Recipes... Food of the Gods! This one looks promising."
Piono pulls the book from its shelf, flips through it, thne sighs and throws it over his shoulder. "Nope, just how to make different kinds nectar and ambrosia. I need something with PUNCH, not just magical endorphine exxageration."
Then Piono notices a light, he turns around, and on a pedastal rising up out of the ground is a cookbook, a cover that is the brown of perfectly cooked steak, with trim of purple the color of the finest of grapes and a golden color that reminds one of fields of ripe wheat, fresh and ready for harvesting to be ground, rolled and turned into the most magnificent of breads.
Piono lets out a low whistle and reads the title of the book. "How to Make Decent Food, by Caelli Apitii, high godking of the cooking pantheon."
Piono flips through a few of the pages, and gasps, "This... it's perfect!"

Piono steps through the pizza portal onto the battlefield, carrying the book under his arm, and a small cube with him.
Piono looks around at the festivities going on, and affirms, hey look! It's actually safe to do stuff. Glad he doesn't need to take up the deck of the Godslayer to make his work have the proper space with which to do things, he sets down the small cube, presses a button on top of it, then begins to back up as the cube rattles around and shakes up. A small voice is heard from the cube. "Hello, thank you for choosing the TechCore Corp instant kitchen. Please select the configuration you would like to use today." "Upscale Italian, please." and the cube shakes even more violently, suddenly exploding outwards into a kitchen with stoves, ovens, a refridgerator, racks of knives and cooking utensils, everything you'd need for cooking Italian food. Piono didn't back up far enough and had a countertop spawn on top of him, and has to lift it off of himself. Great start to the cooking show.
Piono, acfter getting out from underneath the countertop, drags the trash can over to the fridge and immediately dumps all the food into it, before triggering the built in incinerator function, burning all of the food to ash.
"Sorry insta-kitchen, I'm going to be using my own ingredients for this dish." He cracks his knuckles and sets out a menu, with a single item circled on it.
Spaghetti la Deus Rex with a side of Supreme Ceasar Salad and a fine vintage of Extrulean Wine

Action the first: Spaghetti
The first thing to do, is ready the spaghetti. There are four major parts to any proper spaghetti, the noodles, the sauce, the meatballs, and the cheese. We shall do these one at a time, with only the greatest ingredients and the best of cooking techniques.
First, the noodles. In order to make the finest noodles, we need the finest grains. Some would use wheat, some rice, both have their merits, but Glampesh, from the fourth planet of the star Perilon, reknowned for its nearly-glowing golden sheen and a warm taste that envelops the taste buds even once cooked, our first step is to grind up the Glampesh into a fine powder, with these powerful rollers I have brought out of my inventory. The rollers will grind up the flour, and while they are doing that we will begin on the sauce.
Now, there are few things like tomatos, so I will be using special tomatoes, juicy and red, grown under the light of a blue star from the future colony of Andross 5, they have more flavor than just about any tomato you will ever taste. So we set the pot of water (for all the ingredients needed, since the spaghetti noodles are going to need it too) to a boil while we cut the tomatos, and peel them, with a careful edge. It has to be a knife, not a laser edge, as the application of the intense heat might somewhat spoil the flavor of the tomato, fortunately, I have a deft hand. Flashstepping techniques, when applied to cooking, allow for much cleaner and quicker slicing.
We bring the tomato slices to a light simmer, and while they are simmering we move back to the noodles. The flour has been properly ground up, and so we mix it together with some pure salt. Nothing but NaCL, purified through a process of atomic reassembly to ensure no impurities reach into our meal. Anyways, light amounts of salt, mixed with the flour. Next we take an egg, now, I WOULD use a more exotic form of egg, however, chicken eggs are the base used for most Italian cuisine, and I can't change up that without risking having some of the chemical reactions in the cooking process going awry, so we shall remain with the chicken egg (properly selected from a stock of one million for perfect of course) and crack it open into a bowl, before beating it lightly, and then adding it to our flour mixture, mixing it thoroughly. Now, our mixture is a LITTLE bit dry, so, to moisten it up just a little bit, we add a smidgen of water.
Now, we take the dough, and on a lightly floured surface with more of our Glampesh flour, we knead the dough. Careful pushes and strokes to knead the dough to perfection. Once perfection has been achieved, we roll the dough out flat, very thin, and cut it into strips, which we then hang on the rack to dry a bit before we cook them into proper spaghetti.
So, the tomatoes are simmering, the spaghetti is drying, let's start on the meatballs. First we pre-heat the oven, so that that can be ready when we have the meatballs all set up. Meatballs are fairly simple, we simply take a variety of different foodstuffs and roll them together. Let's start with the meat, now, most meatballs use pig or cow meat, that's not exotic enough. Fortunately, at some time in the past, I killed a dragon and butchered it (really wish I could remember that it must've been intense) so I have plenty of meat on hand. The nice thing about dragon meat is that it is naturally spicey and somewhat sweet, so it doesn't really require THAT much extra seasoning to make it taste good, but there are still other ingredients required to make the ball. We have some breadcrumbs made from Glampesh toast (Glampesh, when combined with proper yeast cultures, makes a light, fluffy bread that is savoury and absolutely delicious) a bit of milk from the celestial cows of the cooking pantheon, a bit of that ultra purified salt from before, a power onion (known to make some people temporarily gain super powers) and a perfect duplicate of the perfect chicken egg from before. This is all mixed together in a large bowl with a few drops of Nectar. Not the kind that comes from flowers, but the grand food of the Greek Gods. The ultimate drink, it also works well as a sweet and savoury sauce.
We mix all of these together, and to roll them all together, we will use the rollers we used to grind the flour. But first we need to clean the rollers. A quick power rince from a fire hose with a quick dry of fire magic rerouted from the stoves gets all the food particulates out quite fast, with no water leftover, we just set it into the additional setting, and slide in our meatball paste. We wait a few seconds, and put in a tray, there we go, 12 perfect spheres of meaty perfection. Now, slide these into the fire magic oven to cook...
And now we go back to our pasta! We have it prepared, and now, our water (prepared from the holy springs of Antiqua, among the purest waters you will ever find. Don't worry, Antiqua is a practical goddess and does not mind her holy spring being used for culinary purposes) is at a steady boil. So we carefully slide in the spaghetti noodles, and allow them to cook.
While they are cooking, the sauce needs to be seasoned. The ultimate tomatoes we have, while impressive, are not enough on their own, so we shall use my special blend of 13 spice. A particular blend of Waluigi Thyme, Runner's Leaf, Avendesora root, bacon powder, Anthron (a kind of leafy plant), Sagesalt, Condensed Plastrith, Yellow Spice (yes its an uncreative name), Cumin, Ginger, Coriander, Cinnamon, and Black Pepper. Carefully stir the mixture of special spices into the dish, and voila! The sauce is done.
And with a bit of time manipulation inherent to the cooking suite, so are the meatballs and pasta.
We take the pasta and lay it down in swirls on the titanium plate (silver's for fools), and pour the sauce over it with care. Then plop the meatballs down in strategic positions. Next comes the cheese, which is actually, in this case, a special form of dairy-based ambrosia. It is of the highest quality, but I don't possess the facilities to make it on-site, so I had to just use some I had handy in my inventory.

The Spaghetti is ready.

Action the second: Salad
Salad is a simple enough meal to prepare, you take some lettuce, you tear it up and put it on a plate, right?
WRONG.
Or, well, mostly wrong.
It is normally pretty easy, you just forgot the dressing.
But we're not doing this the easy way!
First off, we need leaves of the most tasty variety, and surprisingly, Yggdrasil, the world tree, has leaves that have quite the flavor to them. The problem is that they come with a woody/waxy exterior. This is simple enough to fix. We simply take them over to the stove and simmer them for a while. The waxy exterior flows right off in the heat, and we are left with a single large leaf that can be broken down to make the proper base for a salad.
Now we move over to the salad plate, and add some ancient grecian olive oil, fit for the gods. Crush some special garlic, crushed in our rollers (once again cleaned out the power way) a pinch of ultra purified salt, a pinch of 13 spice, some striped lemon juice, a dash of nectar sauce, sprinkled cheese ambrosia, and of course, some of that Glampesh bread, toasted to a ripe brown-ness over an open fire pit into croutons, and sprinkled all over the top of the salad.

There we go, that was simple enough.

Action the third: Wine
Finally, we have the wine. Now, the vintage is actually a Discord Reannual grapes wine, which are grown a year in the future, and come up the year before. they are exceptionally sweet, and this vintage has a nutty aftertaste to it, sure to tickle the tastebuds. Normally reannuals also grant visions of the future, but for certain reasons the magical fixtures to the wine have been removed, which shall be explained later.
BUT! BUT!
As we all know, the REAL value to any good wine is the history behind it, not just the age. Any old wine can survive 100 years in an oaken cask at the bottom of a cellar that got bricked over and forgotten, nobody will care. It has to, at the very least, have been buried with an age old pharaoh in his crypt beyond time.
And this vintage has quite the story to it.
First grown during the tumultuous years after Lord Havelock Vetinari's assassination, this vintage is unique in that it's one of the few that was never actually planted, as thanks to the visions of the future the farmer got from drinking it, the farmer decided they didn't have enough time to actually get around to planting their crops and instead skipped country. This didn't help them of course, as they were later eaten by a camel while crossing the Klatchian desert (they got VERY lost indeed) Most of the vintage was sold off to various different noblemen, all of whom began scheming immediately as to how to best take advantage of the patrician's death, which, ironically, was what led to him being assassinated in the first place. The wine's visions became self-fulfilling. All but one case of it.
The farmer took this case with him, along with his numerous other possesions, just in case he needed something to sell later into his journey.
He never got to sell it on account of the aforementioned camel eating.
But providence was on the side of this case of wine, it lay undisturbed in the sands for almost a year before an adventurer, chasing rumors of the last case of the "Doomsayer Vintage" went out into the Klatchian Desert and, by sheer fortune, found the case left by the unfortunate farmer. Having found the entire purpose behind his expedition, the adventurer was able to head home early, and, unbeknownst to him, saving a fortune on hourglasses that he would've spent had his adventure continued onwards.
And so the case of the Doomsayer Vintage was brought back to civilization, where it was passed between a number of different hands before ending up in the vaults of Pseudopolis.
From which it was pulled by a defictionalization device.
You see, there was a certain rich man in the world who decided he wanted to try out the taste of reannual wine, and spent trillions of dollars funding research into how to defictionalize things. Some people tried to recreate reannuals themselves through quantum entanglement, others tried to research inter-universal magic systems, but in the end the only group that appeased him were the ones that reached into the pages of the book and pulled the very object from the story.
The only downsides to this was that it removed any and all magical qualities, and disabled any tech not compatible with the physics system within the current universe.
The man was ecstatic, he now had a vintage of wine straight from the pages of his own fanfic, with a rich and valuable history within a few years, and it was all his. And he tasted it, and it was even a good vintage.
He used almost all of the bottles on parties following up, safe in the assurance that he could just use his defictionalization device again should he run out...
And then the apocalypse came. A nuclear blast not too far away from the man's house rendered everyone within his household dead, and only the contents of the deep basement, including the last bottle of the doomsayer vintage, were preserved.
And there it rested for 200 years before it was dug out by a primitivized tribe of hunter warriors, who found the bottle of wine and set up a shrine around it, worshipping it as an act of pilgrimage.
I wonder how I got it in my inventory.
Oh well.
Regardless, here is your glass of wine, drink it, and remember the wonderful and terrible times this wine has been through.

And now you have your drink. One of a kind and immensely valuable.

 

[That-Random-Guy]

It seems people still are in doubt about my true identity.

Your word doubts the law of Moniker

Your doubts are [NOT VALID]

You shall not doubt the word of your God beloved OP

Click to shrink...

Through the power invested in by this my wonderful keyboard, I doubt and declare INVALID your doubting and INVALID-ating.

I do the same to the rest of your responses, because I need to go and, uh, I just noticed that almost everyone seems to have made a dish. Since they've probably filled up all 4 slots, I'm instead going to do a really neat attack on Xerath.

 

[Winkins]

(Free Action)
I put up Christmas decor on my part of the HEXAGONAFIELD for the coming of Christmas with a simple eggnog machine to the side.

Settling down on my knees for for such occasion I Whispered to The Wind "May you be Strong Disco-orb chan, so we may meet in better circumstances in the future..."

(Action!)(3Charges)
(1 Charge)
Dusting off my knees of dust or whatever particles that may have gotten on my Robe, I look at the Slots I decided to pull one for this occasion.
(1 Charge)
Waiting for the slot to stop I turned towards my Siths and Bestow them some healing with the cat energy which still lingers in the air.
(1 Charge)
I beckon for the Catmancer Sith to help cast Catnap onto the [V] forces forcing all their units to roll a 6d to stay awake. (They just need to get higher than 2 on their dices to stay awake.)

(Orders)
Cat Siths are to follow their previous orders.
The Catmancer Sith is to use this turn to aid strengthen the effect of Catnap.

 

[Page of Time]

FOCUS!

The cheery girl runs at Xerath and uppercuts him before slamming him down on the ground and moving to an armlock to snap his arm off.

 

[MrMirrorMan]

Back on the Hexagon field, a single piece of paper is seen "A simple wish for a simple Man of Mirror: For a simple, working solution to one of the AG's problems."

 

[hungry visitor]

Back on the Hexagon field, I single piece of paper is seen "I simple wish for a simple Man of Mirror: For a simple, working solution to one of the AG's problems."

Click to shrink...

But not to the Problems of a certain imposter. Do you agree?

 

[JOEbobobob]

So you admit yourself an imposter.
/nul

 

[MrMirrorMan]

/Null
"Aren't you AG right now?"

 

[hungry visitor]

They hated him because he told them the truth.

What are you trying here? Make me say : "Oh yes. I AM an imposter."

You know who I meant. HV of course!

 

[Paradoxdragonpaci]

I postpone my Alchemiter Charge 12/15

I FOCUS and start working on my Dish: THE ULTIMATE STEAK OF LEGENDS!!

Preparation step!!
I go looking for the ingredients for the ULTIMATE STEAK OF LEGENDS!! I will need the Sides that sastify all, the Sauce that perfectly complements and the Main Part, the STEAK THAT IS ALL! Also I need some UNIVERSAL INGREDIENTS that will be used for the Cooking and the APPLIANCES OF LEGENDS also for the cooking, I will also need the ULTIMATE CHEFS to actually cook the food

For the UNIVERSAL INGREDIANTS, which are the Herbs, spices and other flavourings. I have been shipped the Salt
from the Dead 7 seas of an alternate Dimension,purified by sunlight for 7 years and 7 Days, exposed to the Moonlight of the Full Moon only,done by the Pure Witch oF Oceans Who has gathered the saltwater with her Bare Hands
I asked politely for the pepper from the pepper plants grown on an Active Volcano, erupting for 13 years, on its Last Eruption, cultivated by the Unorthodox Monks of Time, headed by an Elder Sauceror specialising in Spice, crushed by hand , in a runic altar as a offering and a Eulogy to a Dead Food Goddess
I have finally bought The Herbs from the Hippies and Wizards in Ivory Towers Community Garden,grown organically,magically,glowing with Kindness and zapping with Magic, carefully and tenderly uprooted with Apologies aNd Words of Numbing, Carefully packaged in Arcane Paper and Sent to the Shop in the City of Cheliver, where it sits in the ambience of the City that's both Noisy and peaceful for a year and a day

Next, for the APPLIANCES OF LEGENDS, I will need the PLATINUM FILTER,SAUCEPAN,FRYING PAN and some EVERLASTING DRAGONIC FIRE.

The last one is easy, I just turn into my Dragon Form and breathe out Everlasting Fire and turn back into a human,simple. The Fire heats all equally making it an ideal source of heat for the cooking.

Next the Platinum Everything-Else, I will need to get those from the the Goblin Mines, as the Goblins don't quite like Humans or Dragons, I will have to steal it.Hiding myself in an Invisibility Cloak, I quietly trode to their Storage Chamber and use a Skeleton Key to open it,I then steal some unrefined chunks of platinum ore and escape the mines as quickly as possible before they discovered the missing ores. I then use my paradoxify skills to summon forth the Ghost of Smelters Future-Past, Past-Future , Future-Future,Past-Past and Now-Now. I then ask them to use their Ghost Smelting Powers to smelt the Pure Ghost material of the Platinum Ores into the Filter,Saucepan,Oven and Frying Pan. After doing so I thank the Ghosts and dismiss them before doing a Ritual to Paradoxify the Real Pure Platinum Versions of the equipment.

I then Trick and Persuade some Elementals, Embodiments and Spirits to Enchant the Equipment to Burn away Evil and other such Negativity.

For the Potatoes and Broccoli for the Sides,I head to the Garden of Eden and ask the kind Archangel there to help me pick some Platonic Potatoes and Broccoli of the Heavens

For the Sauce, will be using a Garlic Sauce,for the Garlic,I get the first Garlic cultivated by the Zen Monk of Truth meditating for 1111 consecutive years,living on the Mountain of Despair in the Continent of Depression and Hopelessness,surrounded by the Seas of Hate and Doom

And for the STEAK THAT IS ALL!! I went to the Divine Butcher, to get Steak from the Enchanted Golden Apple Cows, Enchanted by the Creatve majicks of Minecraft, fed on Grass by Terraria, Watered by the Waters of Creation which is created in the First Sun in a Multiverse in the Plane of Creatio, given Life by the Creators and Architects,ifused with Hope,slaughtered in their sleep to prevent suffering, the Steak is infused with the essence of Hope,Creativity and the innate Healing properties of the Enchanted Golden Apple Cows
Recruitment Step

I call out for help for cooking the dishes,I thus recruit the following in assisting the Cooking:

Cooking Mama
A Gamer who has Maxed out and Prestiged Cooking 3 times over
Charity Carpenter from The Dresden Files
Jarlsberg the Chef-Magus from the Kingdom of Loathing
Shirou Emiya,Rin and Sakura of Fate/stay Night
Jake the dog from Adventure Time
Pinkie Pie
Greedy Smurf

Actual Cooking!

I set my assistants to their tasks after first placing that Platinum saucepan and Frying pan on the EVERLASTING DRAGONIC FIRE and having the Platinum Oven properly pre-heated to 250F

First,the chefs season the raw steak with salt and pepper and some crushed and uncrushed herbs on all sides before placing it on a wire grid with some baking sheets underneath it and the baking pan,secondly we let it refrigerate the steaks uncovered overnight to dry out their exteriors and marinate the Steak, however as we are pressing for Time, i will set it to marinate off now in a pocket dimension with a time ratio of 720:1.after waiting for a minute,i removed the Steak.
Secondly,the chefs put the Steak(including the herbs and stuff) into the oven and waited for around 27 minutes until their refined Senses tell them tha the Steak is "done", that is the the internal temperature is around 118F.
Third,the chefs remove the herbs before placing it into the frying pan, prepared in advance with a tablespoon of vegetable oil or other high-temp-friendly oil before setting it to preheat,strting to smoke just as the Chefs put in the Steak with a tablespoon of butter as well.They then started tocook, swirling and lifting the steak occasionally, until the Steak is nicely browned on the first side They then Flipped the steaks and get the second side, then held the steaks sideways to sear their edges.Te roma during this is indescriable, ok maybe thats a slight exageration.It smells like the herbs,the butter and the steak cooking all combined into a melting pot of Aromas that tingle the senses and makes the mouth water,i know mine are,you ca nearly taste the steak just with a whiff of the scents.The steak is now done medium-rare,now onto the sides.There is an Aura surrounding the plate that is holding the majestic meal, it becomes made of Ur-metal.

For the Platonic Potatoes, i set th oven to 220F andlet the chefs work thir magic again,literally in some cases.They cut the potatoes in half lengthways, then cut each half into 1.5cm-thick wedges and place in a large bowl. Added the 2 tablespoons of olive oil, salt and pepper and used clean hands to toss the potatoes until they were well coated with the oil.They then Spread the potatoes in a single layer over the lined tray and drizzled them with any oil remaining in the bowl.The chiefs the put the tray into the preheated oven for 10 minutes. They then reduced the oven temperature to 200°C , turning the potatoes every 10 minutes, for a further 33 minutes .For the Broccali,they snapped them into medium-sized florets.They then put the florets into a steamer or colander set over the Platinum saucepan full of boiling water. They then covered it with a lid steamed for 5 mins.After that they drizzled some melted butter over the Broccali of the Heavens,somehow there is a Ray of Sunlight shining on the dish now.

For the Sauce,the chefs Placed the garlic, salt, lemon juice, vegetable oil, and olive oil into the saucpan to cook for a few minutes, before adding in some potato starch,thcikening the mixture into a creamy texture, this will be our sauce.However this where my part plays in,i gather some paradoxical energy nd then use the platinum filter to filter all the bad stuff from the energy, i then infuse the sauce with the energy.

i then assemble the full meal,Legends hold that this meal is the Sublime,and is the most delicious steak anyone will ever have,the Medium-Rare steak is perfectly even in colouring and in taste which is said to have knocked giants off with a tiny morsel,the sides have been tasted and then Blessed by the numerous Spirits of the Underneath,for the sauce,the gods may even die for a chance to even taste a drop of its garlicy-godness.

I Whisper to the Wind for a Blessing,Hope in the Worst of Times and an Assurance that there will be a Happy Ending

 

[gilded king]

Action FOCUS :
I chuck a gae bolg , a cursed spear that invokes an image of lightning straight at Xerath . It's forms turns into something strange like as if someone dyed a bolt of lightning blood red and forged into a spear , as if it broke apart and became what it originally was . It twists and spirals like a mad dog constantly rewinding casualty until eventually it bits deeps AND RIPS STRAIGHT INTO HIS HEART . The spear returns unnoticeably bloodier , crackling with red lighting into my hands .
(Note : ooc : please read the article so helpfully hilighted to understand all of its details )

UNIVERSAL SUPLEX : 8/10

 

[hungry visitor]

!Update! Attention this is an official update !Update! Very official! Serious business!
Patch note:
Players are now no longer invulnerable, but the Godmodder is also more vulnerable.

I kill Zeta

Click to shrink...

You have killed Zeta. Right now nobody wants to work for you, a dangerous murderer, but they are also very scared of you. They plan to escape your influence and plot your death.

If it is a free action, I use one of the medkits (at the bottom of the player inventory) on the Scarlet Prince.

Click to shrink...

You use the medkit on Scarlet Prince. Or you try it.
"Peasant, who do you think I am? I am your Prince and demand more respect! Give me that medkit, I can do this by myself."
The Prince rips the medkit out of your hands and proceeds to heal himself. (Prince can't do anything else this round, gains +10% HP (5000) and the skill "Healing Lv.1")

FOCUS - IT CARRIES ON

Click to shrink...

Using the Charge Booster once again, the man furthers his agenda, stockpiling resources at a far away location and preparing to move them into position when the time is right. Two more rounds, and he'd be able to activate the Dockyards and begin refining the Apex into the finest weapon of war the Hexagonafield had ever seen.

12/20

A projection of the man, sent forth by his mind, appeared before Xerath, wagging his finger and tutting. "Xerath, Xerath, Xerath! I'm afraid you overestimate yourself. I'm the only one who can get away with attacking AGs, it's a Player privilege I want to restrict. That's why I'll attack you now, and if your precious Alice gets punished due to your incompetence?" He smirks widely here. "Why, I couldn't care less! Do your best only to cry out when you fall, fool. Wash your neck!"

The projection disappeared as the Apex turned to fire. Its energy cannons, arrayed along its spine, turned as one to face the foe, skyward pointing barrels dropping down to attack angle. So too did the lesser, tighter packed railguns along the sloped armor plate below turn and depress their barrels. Naturally, there was an equal railcannon battery along the other side, but it could not be brought to bear. Such was the disadvantage of broadside design.

As one, the weapon systems fired, after taking a bit of time to acquire their target.

Click to shrink...

The ultimate weapon ripens in a distant place. Like a baby, waiting for its birth.
The Apex is using his weaponry to kill Mr. Xerath in the name of EternalStruggle. Big craters and smoke remain. From afar a tourist notices the crime and calls the police.

Reaching out to the Temporal Guardian I grant it limited access to it's own time stream, allowing it to alter it to a minor degree. In simple terms the Temporal Guardian can now regenerate its health every turn by selectively reversing time upon itself. (x2)

Finally I use my powers to make a wish that my entities that were evacuated will return to the HEXAGONAFIELD still under my control despite the fact players have lost their entities due to choosing Standard Processing Option in the past. (x1)

Click to shrink...

The Temporal Guardian now can reset himself to the last turn, which he will do, should he be damaged. He gains invincibility until he gets one-shot, but loses the ability to dodge right after a reset because he is confused.
The Peacekeepers will return under your command (10 rounds before returning).

3 Actions:
I create a Massive Party Cake, it can satisfy thousands for Party
and it is absolutely the best for Parties.

Click to shrink...

The Party Cake is baked. Delicious vanilla ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ... (is that chocolate frosting?) ... happy feelings... Oh yeah this is the true party cake.

A Man by the name of Archmage Xilith walks to the HEXAGONFIELD.
Bleeding from his right leg and using his great Voidmetal capped Ichorium Stave as a humble walking stick, he hobbles towards the presents. after casting an obscure shield spell, he uses the wand focus: portable hole to retrieve a potion of instant health, drinking it quickly and sighing as his wound quickly heals.
He surveys the line of presents, looking for the one closest to dark, partially desaturated purple, and walks to it, radiating an aura of regale power... which literally everyone ignores because of his lack of power by comparison to anyone else on the field.
"I vipx gjo qxm csbdifaqijf jg dy ompmaocx, qxm kmogmcq vmakjf. qxm qaifq."
"Qxaq vxicx caf hmpqojy mumoyqxife, ymq rm tmkq aq ray ry qxip pidkbm gbjvmo."
"I vipx gjo a pifebm pxaoh, qxm qifimpq kimcm, tmymh qj dy pjsb. ifhmpqoscqirbm mwcmkq ry dy vibb."
"Afh pj I xaum paih,a afh pj iq pxabb rm."
"I wish for the culmination of my research, the perfect weapon. the taint."
"That which can destroy everything, yet be kept at bay by this simple flower."
"I wish for a single shard, the tiniest piece, keyed to my soul. indestructible except by my will."
"And so I have said, and so it shall be." Out from the present he pulls a globule of tainted substance, purple and dripping, though it cannot function so close to the flower which he holds. he runs off to a distant area of the HEXAGONFIELD, bringing his source of taint with him. this shall do nothing yet, or for a very, very long time.

Click to shrink...

The Archmage Xilith got his convenient taint, a simple flower that keeps the taint at bay and his trusty shield spell. He also got a tiny shard of taint inside his soul.
Countdown until flower wilts (3 rounds) but this will do nothing yet or for a very, very long time. He just loses the flower.

Ah, if me giving charges to other people doesn't result in me dropping in the neutraladder I'll stick around as an AG then.

Present: the improbabiltiy drive dings and instead of Piono pulling out something out of the present, the improbability drive follows some preprogrammed orders and pulls out "something that will enable Piono to go on a journey of self-discovery... but not yet."

Piono looks out over the field.
"Hmm... I should probably help with the cooking contest. I'm gonna need all three of my actions for this."
Piono messes with his watch and temporarily deactivates the improbability drive.
Piono turns back to the three NPCPs.
"You guys wait here, I'm gonna try and do something crazy"
Piono pulls out what looks like a pizza with a face, then opens up the mouth and steps through it into his inventory.
The pizza's mouth closes and it winks out of existence.

"Alright... food... food... food... Maybe I can prepare something myself?"
"But I don't know how to cook!"
"Hm... maybe there's something around here that can help with that."
Piono begins looking and looking in the food section of his inventory, and finally finds a massive shelf full of cookbooks.
"Betty Crocker's Family Cookbook... 1001 Low Carb Recipes... Food of the Gods! This one looks promising."
Piono pulls the book from its shelf, flips through it, thne sighs and throws it over his shoulder. "Nope, just how to make different kinds nectar and ambrosia. I need something with PUNCH, not just magical endorphine exxageration."
Then Piono notices a light, he turns around, and on a pedastal rising up out of the ground is a cookbook, a cover that is the brown of perfectly cooked steak, with trim of purple the color of the finest of grapes and a golden color that reminds one of fields of ripe wheat, fresh and ready for harvesting to be ground, rolled and turned into the most magnificent of breads.
Piono lets out a low whistle and reads the title of the book. "How to Make Decent Food, by Caelli Apitii, high godking of the cooking pantheon."
Piono flips through a few of the pages, and gasps, "This... it's perfect!"

Piono steps through the pizza portal onto the battlefield, carrying the book under his arm, and a small cube with him.
Piono looks around at the festivities going on, and affirms, hey look! It's actually safe to do stuff. Glad he doesn't need to take up the deck of the Godslayer to make his work have the proper space with which to do things, he sets down the small cube, presses a button on top of it, then begins to back up as the cube rattles around and shakes up. A small voice is heard from the cube. "Hello, thank you for choosing the TechCore Corp instant kitchen. Please select the configuration you would like to use today." "Upscale Italian, please." and the cube shakes even more violently, suddenly exploding outwards into a kitchen with stoves, ovens, a refridgerator, racks of knives and cooking utensils, everything you'd need for cooking Italian food. Piono didn't back up far enough and had a countertop spawn on top of him, and has to lift it off of himself. Great start to the cooking show.
Piono, acfter getting out from underneath the countertop, drags the trash can over to the fridge and immediately dumps all the food into it, before triggering the built in incinerator function, burning all of the food to ash.
"Sorry insta-kitchen, I'm going to be using my own ingredients for this dish." He cracks his knuckles and sets out a menu, with a single item circled on it.
Spaghetti la Deus Rex with a side of Supreme Ceasar Salad and a fine vintage of Extrulean Wine

Action the first: Spaghetti
The first thing to do, is ready the spaghetti. There are four major parts to any proper spaghetti, the noodles, the sauce, the meatballs, and the cheese. We shall do these one at a time, with only the greatest ingredients and the best of cooking techniques.
First, the noodles. In order to make the finest noodles, we need the finest grains. Some would use wheat, some rice, both have their merits, but Glampesh, from the fourth planet of the star Perilon, reknowned for its nearly-glowing golden sheen and a warm taste that envelops the taste buds even once cooked, our first step is to grind up the Glampesh into a fine powder, with these powerful rollers I have brought out of my inventory. The rollers will grind up the flour, and while they are doing that we will begin on the sauce.
Now, there are few things like tomatos, so I will be using special tomatoes, juicy and red, grown under the light of a blue star from the future colony of Andross 5, they have more flavor than just about any tomato you will ever taste. So we set the pot of water (for all the ingredients needed, since the spaghetti noodles are going to need it too) to a boil while we cut the tomatos, and peel them, with a careful edge. It has to be a knife, not a laser edge, as the application of the intense heat might somewhat spoil the flavor of the tomato, fortunately, I have a deft hand. Flashstepping techniques, when applied to cooking, allow for much cleaner and quicker slicing.
We bring the tomato slices to a light simmer, and while they are simmering we move back to the noodles. The flour has been properly ground up, and so we mix it together with some pure salt. Nothing but NaCL, purified through a process of atomic reassembly to ensure no impurities reach into our meal. Anyways, light amounts of salt, mixed with the flour. Next we take an egg, now, I WOULD use a more exotic form of egg, however, chicken eggs are the base used for most Italian cuisine, and I can't change up that without risking having some of the chemical reactions in the cooking process going awry, so we shall remain with the chicken egg (properly selected from a stock of one million for perfect of course) and crack it open into a bowl, before beating it lightly, and then adding it to our flour mixture, mixing it thoroughly. Now, our mixture is a LITTLE bit dry, so, to moisten it up just a little bit, we add a smidgen of water.
Now, we take the dough, and on a lightly floured surface with more of our Glampesh flour, we knead the dough. Careful pushes and strokes to knead the dough to perfection. Once perfection has been achieved, we roll the dough out flat, very thin, and cut it into strips, which we then hang on the rack to dry a bit before we cook them into proper spaghetti.
So, the tomatoes are simmering, the spaghetti is drying, let's start on the meatballs. First we pre-heat the oven, so that that can be ready when we have the meatballs all set up. Meatballs are fairly simple, we simply take a variety of different foodstuffs and roll them together. Let's start with the meat, now, most meatballs use pig or cow meat, that's not exotic enough. Fortunately, at some time in the past, I killed a dragon and butchered it (really wish I could remember that it must've been intense) so I have plenty of meat on hand. The nice thing about dragon meat is that it is naturally spicey and somewhat sweet, so it doesn't really require THAT much extra seasoning to make it taste good, but there are still other ingredients required to make the ball. We have some breadcrumbs made from Glampesh toast (Glampesh, when combined with proper yeast cultures, makes a light, fluffy bread that is savoury and absolutely delicious) a bit of milk from the celestial cows of the cooking pantheon, a bit of that ultra purified salt from before, a power onion (known to make some people temporarily gain super powers) and a perfect duplicate of the perfect chicken egg from before. This is all mixed together in a large bowl with a few drops of Nectar. Not the kind that comes from flowers, but the grand food of the Greek Gods. The ultimate drink, it also works well as a sweet and savoury sauce.
We mix all of these together, and to roll them all together, we will use the rollers we used to grind the flour. But first we need to clean the rollers. A quick power rince from a fire hose with a quick dry of fire magic rerouted from the stoves gets all the food particulates out quite fast, with no water leftover, we just set it into the additional setting, and slide in our meatball paste. We wait a few seconds, and put in a tray, there we go, 12 perfect spheres of meaty perfection. Now, slide these into the fire magic oven to cook...
And now we go back to our pasta! We have it prepared, and now, our water (prepared from the holy springs of Antiqua, among the purest waters you will ever find. Don't worry, Antiqua is a practical goddess and does not mind her holy spring being used for culinary purposes) is at a steady boil. So we carefully slide in the spaghetti noodles, and allow them to cook.
While they are cooking, the sauce needs to be seasoned. The ultimate tomatoes we have, while impressive, are not enough on their own, so we shall use my special blend of 13 spice. A particular blend of Waluigi Thyme, Runner's Leaf, Avendesora root, bacon powder, Anthron (a kind of leafy plant), Sagesalt, Condensed Plastrith, Yellow Spice (yes its an uncreative name), Cumin, Ginger, Coriander, Cinnamon, and Black Pepper. Carefully stir the mixture of special spices into the dish, and voila! The sauce is done.
And with a bit of time manipulation inherent to the cooking suite, so are the meatballs and pasta.
We take the pasta and lay it down in swirls on the titanium plate (silver's for fools), and pour the sauce over it with care. Then plop the meatballs down in strategic positions. Next comes the cheese, which is actually, in this case, a special form of dairy-based ambrosia. It is of the highest quality, but I don't possess the facilities to make it on-site, so I had to just use some I had handy in my inventory.

The Spaghetti is ready.

Action the second: Salad
Salad is a simple enough meal to prepare, you take some lettuce, you tear it up and put it on a plate, right?
WRONG.
Or, well, mostly wrong.
It is normally pretty easy, you just forgot the dressing.
But we're not doing this the easy way!
First off, we need leaves of the most tasty variety, and surprisingly, Yggdrasil, the world tree, has leaves that have quite the flavor to them. The problem is that they come with a woody/waxy exterior. This is simple enough to fix. We simply take them over to the stove and simmer them for a while. The waxy exterior flows right off in the heat, and we are left with a single large leaf that can be broken down to make the proper base for a salad.
Now we move over to the salad plate, and add some ancient grecian olive oil, fit for the gods. Crush some special garlic, crushed in our rollers (once again cleaned out the power way) a pinch of ultra purified salt, a pinch of 13 spice, some striped lemon juice, a dash of nectar sauce, sprinkled cheese ambrosia, and of course, some of that Glampesh bread, toasted to a ripe brown-ness over an open fire pit into croutons, and sprinkled all over the top of the salad.
There we go, that was simple enough.

Action the third: Wine

Click to shrink...

You get "Spaghetti la Deus Rex with a side of Supreme Ceasar Salad and a fine vintage of Extrulean Wine"- a full course. Seems like a decent meal.
I can proudly inform you that we have resurrected and constructed the top 10 creatures with the best taste of the whole multiverse of all time to make this competition a great success.

(Action!)(3Charges)
(1 Charge)
Dusting off my knees of dust or whatever particles that may have gotten on my Robe, I look at the Slots I decided to pull one for this occasion.
(1 Charge)
Waiting for the slot to stop I turned towards my Siths and Bestow them some healing with the cat energy which still lingers in the air.
(1 Charge)
I beckon for the Catmancer Sith to help cast Catnap onto the [V] forces forcing all their units to roll a 6d to stay awake. (They just need to get higher than 2 on their dices to stay awake.)

Click to shrink...

You roll the slot machine... ∞. The slot machine rolls away... and it seems to get faster.
All hail Sith! Cat energy heals the the army (9999... Healing overdose) the army seems very healed and the Hexagonafield looks even emptier without any cat energy.
The [V] forces roll 1. Critical failure. They have a good night sleep (Sleeping makes them regain all their health, but they will awake only if someone is too loud...)

The projection disappeared as the Apex turned to fire. Its energy cannons, arrayed along its spine, turned as one to face the foe, skyward pointing barrels dropping down to attack angle. So too did the lesser, tighter packed railguns along the sloped armor plate below turn and depress their barrels. Naturally, there was an equal railcannon battery along the other side, but it could not be brought to bear. Such was the disadvantage of broadside design.

As one, the weapon systems fired, after taking a bit of time to acquire their target.

Click to shrink...

It is too loud to get a good night sleep. [V] forces loose their mind and 500HP each.

"... Well that sounds kind of mean."

Taking the present in the seasonal theme, I whisper to the wind. "I wish for something that the Second Scarlet Prince can cuddle, like a giant teddy bear." Then, I reach into the present and pull out what I feel, while revving up my jetpack in case it's something really tall.

"Simurgh, Second Scarlet Prince, Pack of Packed Wolves, Monkeys, there's been a change of plans. Everyone, attack Xerath!"

I looked at the cooking contest. "Hmm. You know, I bet the Foundation could do something pretty cool with

FOCUS: 914 AND PANCAKES

."

After sending the request back to the Foundation, I waited... and waited... Until suddenly a portal opened and two things came through. First, a platter with five delicious-looking pancakes and a stick of butter, and second, Name: Dr. Clef
Date: 12/██/2017
Total Items: Thirty (30) identical buttermilk pancakes grouped into three (3) stacks (Other notable ingredients: Vanilla, cinnamon, ginger), six (6) unopened sticks of [REDACTED] brand butter

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Fine
Output: The pancakes were uniformly golden brown, due to the fact that they appeared to have been made by heat transfer from a fourth spatial dimension. The butter, after chemical analysis, was found to be completely chemically uniform.

Note 1: Not bad. Anyone want some before they spoil? Bright ate all the butter, though.
-Clef

Note 2: I did not! You did! And also, what just happened? I made a joke about the pancakes being hungry and they just spontaneously turned into pieces of paper saying "[NOT VALID]"!
-Bright

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Fine
Output: The pancakes displayed small cosmetic differences, due to the fact that they appear to have been made with a different recipe, with similar changes for the butter. Five (5) pancakes and one (1) stick of butter were used in flavor testing.

Note 3: Okay, those were a lot better than regular pancakes.
-Clef

Input: Ten (10) pancakes, two (2) sticks of butter
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Similar results to the second test. The opinions of the researchers who consumed one (1) pancake and one-fifth (¹/5) of a stick of butter each in flavor testing are as follows:

Agent P█████ W███: [Excited gesticulation]
Agent M█████: [Excited gesticulation]
Agent S██████: "Meh. What's so special about them?"
Agent S█████ S. P█████: "I can't really taste anything."
Doctor Alto Clef: "These are really good pancakes."

Input: Five (5) pancakes from the second test, one (1) stick of butter from the second test
Setting: Fine
Output: Upon opening the output door of SCP-914, [DATA EXPUNGED] self-replicating [DATA EXPUNGED] emergency relative defictionalization [DATA EXPUNGED] when Mr. Davis was contacted, SCP-3086 breached containment when the conversation derailed into the subject of a blue cat [DATA EXPUNGED] But you know who pays a lot more respect to his characters than Mister Davis? My creator Saul Szyslak, that's who! He made every single panel absolutely unique! [DATA EXPUNGED] And- Oh. Oh dear. This place doesn't look friendly. I think I want to go back.
I turned the page over, and found some handwriting on the back. "Nice going. Now I have to avert the avertion of the assassination of Kennedy while wearing a teal chinchilla suit. -TX"

"Ooooookaaaay. Well, by process of elimination, I guess this is from the third test."

Still a little baffled, I enter the pancakes into the cooking contest.

Click to shrink...

You entered the pancakes into the cooking contest and ... suddenly I feel the urge to ... write a big: [NOT VALID] try implementing something like that again and your pancakes will dissolve into sulfuric acid.

Action FOCUS :
I chuck a gae bolg , a cursed spear that invokes an image of lightning straight at Xerath . It's forms turns into something strange like as if someone dyed a bolt of lightning blood red and forged into a spear , as if it broke apart and became what it originally was . It twists and spirals like a mad dog constantly rewinding casualty until eventually it bits deeps AND RIPS STRAIGHT INTO HIS HEART . The spear returns unnoticeably bloodier , crackling with red lighting into my hands .
(Note : ooc : please read the article so helpfully hilighted to understand all of its details )

UNIVERSAL SUPLEX : 8/10

Click to shrink...

Xerath is already pierced into his heart. The throw is only a formality. The spear fills the body with iron thorns. Not nice. The tourist relays this action to the local police.
The Universe prepares to react to the Suplex, a meaningless effort.

Action Number One & Two: Humble Tea

Well, back to the cooking. He could only make one more thing, but what?

... There isn't many drinks.

So, Arsenical got to work. He pulled his mobile kitchen back into his pocket, and took out only a few items: A worn tea kettle, a set of chipped cups, a small jar of crushed tea leaves, and a comfy mat, for him to sit on.

The kettle is filled with water, and a fire is lit beneath. Our cook thinks of the tea, and of this time of peace. It's nice. With such constant war and destruction, you can forget what you truly want. It is a fragile peace, and it will wither away. But you can gain something from it before the battle is over. Just like tea.

Oh, the water is boiling. Better remove the heat.

Once the heat is removed, the water is poured into the teacups and pot, then the water is returned to the teapot. This was a step that was supposed to keep the cup's temperature consistent, or so Arsenical heard.

Finally, the crushed tea leaves are put into steep in the hot water. The fragments of the plant dance in the water, falling gently, until the rest at the bottom. These leaves weren't special. They weren't grown from a plant that was several thousand years old, or blessed by a god. They were, for all intents and purposes, just regular tea leaves.

But even the most simple ingredients can make a wonderful creation, if you put your heart into it. Knowing all of you, though, I should warn you that that's not literal.

Now, with the tea finely steeped, Arsenical pours the tea into four cups. This tea had no need for a name. It was simply tea.

Action Number Three: TNT! I'M DYNAMITE!

The now MOSTLY FULL-GROWN EXPLOSION ELEMENTAL considers exploding from the pocket.

... Eh, nah. It was comfy in here, and the guy was making tea. That would just be rude.

They kind of wondered how they still fit in the pocket, however, since they were much bigger then when they were a baby.

Click to shrink...

You add regular tea to the food contest. You are right! Regular food for the win!
Explosion Elemental added. They got a lot of control over air, earth and a bit of control over fire. The sound alone makes you deaf.
Horrible creatures.



ITINERARY:
-Defeat The Godmodder! Damaging him gives you a shot at a legendary weapon (be careful, there is a 1% chance to break this stuff, 20% to succeed and 79% to fail)
-Find a good target for Godslayer's Collide ability!
-Defeat Xerath and the Soulraze Forces! Xerath is vulnerable!
-Open the present and get your gift!


THE HEXAGONAFIELD:

COOKING CONTEST:

Player dishes:
Cheesecake of Life
Love Ramen
Weird Cake
AMAZING Ice Cream
Burning Bulgogi
Combo Dinner
Pancakes (very fine)
Spaghetti la Deus Rex with a side of Supreme Ceasar Salad and a fine vintage of Extrulean Wine
Party Cake
Regular tea


The day of judgement has arrived.
Following Judges are here:

Wasorith

Click to shrink...

Godmodder
Gordon Ramsay
Taste-o-mat 3000

This are the dishes of Godmodder:
Macaroni with cheese
Cheesecake with milk
Garlic bread
C9H13N

Judgement:

Spoiler: The contest

Cheesecake of Life:
Wasorith likes this cake and gives it 7/10
Godmodder dislikes the cake and gives it 0/10
Gordon Ramsay praises the cake and cries tears of joy 10/10
Taste-o-mat 3000 has no feelings and thusly gives 5/10 for good nutrients
Love Ramen:
Wasorith LOVES the ramen 10/10
Godmodder has to admit a small defeat 1/10
Gordon Ramsay likes this, but liked the cake more 9/10
Taste-o-mat 3000 ... too much salt 4/10
Weird cake:
Wasorith wants more 7/10
Godmodder seems to like it 3/10
Gordon Ramsay dislikes this 2/10
Taste-o-mat 3000 dies.
AMAZING Ice Cream:
Wasorith "Tastes like Victory" 10/10
Godmodder "Tastes like my tears" 0/10
Gordon Ramsay "It is f***ing RAW" 0/10
Burning Bulgogi:
Wasorith very HOTT 8/10
Godmodder 0/10 (takes 1 damage)
Gordon Ramsay: What is this shit? 0/10
Combo Dinner:
Wasorith enjoyed the abundance 8/10
Godmodder feels intrigued "So many actions for nothing" 5/10
G. R. thinks this is a mess, but secretly likes it 6/10
Very fine Pancakes:
Wasorith feels strange ?/20
Godmodder writes fanfiction until he [NOT VALID] returns and gives a 15/20
G. R. has fled.
Spaghetti la Deus Rex with a side of Supreme Ceasar Salad and a fine vintage of Extrulean Wine:
Wasorith disliked the cinnamon 5/10
Godmodder feels that this dish will be good for him 10/10 (godmodder gains 1 HP)
G. R. came back and praised this dish 10/10
Party cake:
...
10/10 would try again.
Regular tea:
...
Nothing special 7/10
Dragonsteak with fries:
Wasorith likes the dragonsteak 8/8
The Godmodder seems twisted 1/1
G. R. dies and comes back to life 1000/1000
Taste-o-mat analyses the protein of dragon 10/10
Macaroni with cheese:
Wasorith is full and does not want to eat anymore 0/10
Godmodder 10/10
G. R. believes this is looks like a donkey 3/10
Taste-o-mat finds very good nutrients and vitamins 10/10
Cheesecake with milk:
Amen (but everyone except Taste-o-mat and Wasorith die because they have no baby-head or nonbiological body)
69/10
Garlic bread:
Everyone likes this
10/10
C9H13N:
*Godmodder gets disqualified after Taste-o-mat discovers that this substance is addictive*
The winner is:
Dragonsteak with fries

MYSTERIOUS PRESENT:

"For Anniversarymas the only thing I truly want is the ability to make it so my entities will always remain loyal to me, despite whatever bribes, mind control, and the like others might try to take my entities for themselves."

Click to shrink...

You gain 100x"forever loyal to CaptainNZZZ" pills. You can't get any more than that, so be careful who you spend them on.

I whisper to the wind: For Anniversarymas, I want an upgrade to the attack-redirecting properties of the portal gun in the quote above. (its in the player inventory)

Click to shrink...

The attack that gets redirected can ignore 1 shield and can't be redirected again.

I reach into the present and grab out a better portal making tool

Click to shrink...

You find a "Doorbuilder-set" inside this package. You can build one portal instantly and can open other portals twice as fast!

The man considers the present, and decides to use it for good. He whispers to the wind, "I wish that I can find the most convincing informational pamphlet ever inside the present, and upon showing it to the currently Soulraze Builders, they will realize the error of their ways and join the Peacekeepers, along with their currently under construction buildings." Also, if relevant, it would be nice if the pamphlet contained counter-memetics to shut down any loyalty codes or cranial bombs or the like.

Click to shrink...

You gain 40*10³³³ mind-money. You can buy anything on the Hexagonafield with it, anything that likes money. Sadly no counter-memetics or similar.

I wish for more charges to my summon.

Click to shrink...

[NOT VALID]... you gain 1 more action.

I whisper to the winds... I wish for something that can increase my soldiers damage by a factor of their original damage... To increase their Firepower and get better armor

Click to shrink...

A great general jumps out of the box. She salutes and in a magic way the damage the soldiers can do is multiplied by 1.5. They also gain a 5% chance of evasion. Protect the general or this will be a sad time.

Taking the present in the seasonal theme, I whisper to the wind. "I wish for something that the Second Scarlet Prince can cuddle, like a giant teddy bear." Then, I reach into the present and pull out what I feel, while revving up my jetpack in case it's something really tall.

Click to shrink...

The prince gains harem of plush. *turns even redder* "T-this is not the thing a true prince should aspire!" ... "Thanks" Scarlet Prince is now forever loyal to The_Two_Eternities and will come back in a final form should he be defeated.

seen "I simple wish for a simple Man of Mirror: For a simple, working solution to one of the AG's problems."

Click to shrink...

MrMirrorMan opens the box and notices a noose. You could end one of the AG's problems with that.

Taking a short break from cooking, Arsenical wanders over to the box in the center of the hexagonafield. "Tis' the season, ey?"

There was a few things he could get. His memories back, Travelius back, hot chocolate, maybe a pony, but no. He could get all of that later. Right now, he needs one thing, and one thing only.

"For Hexagonamas, I wish... That I can be freed from all debts, and all oaths! I want to be freeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

While he waits for that to take effect (or some other effect, knowing our hero's luck), he decided to take part in some other actions.

Click to shrink...

He gets a simple answer. 40*10³³³ mind-money.

I put up Christmas decor on my part of the HEXAGONAFIELD for the coming of Christmas with a simple eggnog machine to the side.

Settling down on my knees for for such occasion I Whispered to The Wind "May you be Strong Disco-orb chan, so we may meet in better circumstances in the future..."

Click to shrink...

Suddenly every bit of air is transformed into an anthropomorphic Disco-orb. Every biological being without protection (players survive of course) dies instantly.
Dico-orb chan tries to speak, but there is no air and this means no sound-waves can travel. In the end she just hugs Winkins.

[AG]Godslayer: 200,000/200,000 HP, 22,000 x 2A, Specials: Target Strike (ready!), Collide (ready!)(Boss)(20% dodge chance)(protected from 0 attacks)(2 votes: Godmodder attack, needs 4)
[AG]Cera
[AG]Ash(2/3)
[AG]Jamie(Has minor healing ticket)(2/4)

[AG - MooGoesCow]Space Station(25% dodge rate)
Shield array(protecting space station)(OFFLINE)
Super Laser: Can unleash 25,000 damage support attack(ready in 2!)(OFFLINE)
Reinforcement Beacon: x5 Space mook deployment(50 HP, 50 Attack)(ready!)(OFFLINE)
Anti-Mind control Beacon: protects Space Station from mind control(OFFLINE)
Portal Frame: Mysterious Portal(133% open)(+33% open per turn)(OFFLINE)
Very Large Room: Quantum computer: 7% complete (cost: 20)
Space engineers+1: 100/100 HP x 60(building space station!)(x1.4 effectiveness)(on strike)
Winry: 6,000/8,000 HP, inventing skills! (1 teleport vest)(worth 30 engineers)(operating Crime Lab)
Lament the Technician: 20,000/20,000 HP (worth 30 space engineers)(AI building ability)
Candidates:



[AG - TheTwoEternities]Scarlet Prince (final version): 100,000/100,000 HP, 40,000A (-6,000 damage from all attacks)(protected from 8 attacks)(+6,000 HP per turn) (completely loyal to TheTwoEternities)
Wolf pack: 2,000/2,000 x 5 HP, 2,000 x 5A
Barrel of Monkeys: 7,000/7,000 HP (+1 Monkey per turn) (Monkeys die as soon they are created)
Monkeys: 1,000/1,000 x 2 HP, 1,500 x 2A
Simurgh: 45,000/45,000, 13,000 x 2A (40% dodge chance)

[AG - Daskter]Starcraft Army(9,400 TA)(protected from 4 attack):
General: all A *1.5 and all gain 5% dodge chance
SCVs: 30/30 x 42 HP(schedule: Get to 10 barracks, then build factories)
Marines: 100 x 24 HP, 100 x 24A(12 guarding Space Station!)
Marauders: 300 x 10 HP, 200 x 10A
Hellions: 300 x 10 HP, 300 x 10A
Orbital command centers: 8,000/8,000 x 1 HP, 2,000 x 1A
Command centers: 5,000/5,000 x 1 HP (+1 SCVs per turn)
Barracks: 3,000/3,000 x 6 HP (+1 marine each, each turn)
Barracks: 2 complete each turn (1 builder = 5.5%)
(all of them are suited for space)

[AG - Ranger Strider]Grog Strongjaw: 25,000/25,000 HP, 10,000A(protected from 0 attack)
Pike: 10,000/10,000 HP, +10,000A(healer!)(protected from 0 attack)

[N]Slots Machine: 40,000/50,000 HP (need speed of a thunderbolt to stop this thing)

[N - JoeBOB] Archmage Xilith 1,000/1,000 (Flower wilts in 3 rounds) (protected from 0 attack)

[N - EeveeShadowBacon]TF2 Zoo (Flashy)(Defended)

[N - Winkins]Sith army: OVERFLOW HP (they will die as soon the OVERFLOW stops), 4,000A(x2 damage against Snakes)
Catmancer: 7,000/7,000 HP, 3,000A(leading Sith army!)

[N - EternalStruggle]The Apex: 65,000/65,000 HP, 25,000A (+1 repair drone/turn)

[N - CaptainNZZZ]Temporal Guardian: 45,000/45,000 HP, 7,000 x 2A, Special: Za Warudo(ready in 1!)(-1,000 damage from all attacks)(20% dodge rate)(1 teleport charm)(protected from 1 attack!) (Only oneshot kills this entity)

[P]Peacekeepers(722,275 total attack)(Unbribable)(protected from 1 attack):
Tower: 30,000/30,000 HP(protecting Peacekeepers)
The Negotiator: 10,000/10,000 HP
Riflemen V: 100/100 HP x 999, 225x999A(+3 squad leader)
Machine gunners VI: 200/200 HP x 999, 500x999A(+3 squad leader)
Medics: 125/125 x 999 HP, Healing A(+3 squad leader)
Squad leaders: 100/100 x 10 HP(3 leading riflemen, 3 leading machine gunners, 3 leading medics)
Engineers: 10/10 HP x 999(constructing Special power Armor suit, done in 3!)(adding turret to tower, done in 2!)
Scientists: 10/10 HP x 999, re-researching Godmod armor(done in 3!)(researching improved machine gunners, done in 1!)
HQ: 20,000/20,000 HP x 2, calling in 999 commandos(done in 2!), filing land expansion permit(done in 3!)
Shield generators: 15,000/15,000 x 6 HP(Adding 1 attack shield each every turn!)
Barracks II: 30,000/30,000x3 HP (producing Riflemen x 999 for death-elite training camp, done in 2!)(producing squad leader x 989, done in 2!)
Bar/Brewery
Death-elite training camp: 100,000/100,000 HP
Special Weapons depot: 40,000/40,000 HP (upgrading grenade launchers, done in 2!)
Possesses infinite plastic, anti-godmodder bullets(equipped), anti-regen bullets, Grenade launchers(equipped), Anti-Mind control, Upgrade Limit Break Eternity, Dual Pathways, Godmod building plating(equipped)

[SR]Soulraze Foot Soldiers: 1,000 x 0 HP, 1,000 x 0A

[SR]Soulraze Builders: 800 x 25 HP
Barracks: 76% complete (1 builder = 2% completion)
Super Barracks: 0% complete (1 builder = 1% completion)
Regen Generator: 12% complete (1 builder = 1% completion)
Anti-Everything Turret: 0% complete (1 builder = 1.5% completion)

[SR]Soulraze Guard: 3,000 x 0 HP, 250 x 0A (not currently protecting anyone - getting in the way of all AG attacks!)

[N-2]Xerath: 150,000/150,000 HP (bodyguarding Headquarters)
[SR]Soulraze Headquarters: 52,000/100,000 HP (+25 builders each turn)(Thresher Maw, -6,000 HP each turn, would be 2000 more without Xerath)(Builders die as they are created)

[PG]Snake Charmer: 3,000/25,000 HP(charming Barrel of Snakes!)
Snake: 2,000/2,000 x 2 HP, 1,500 x 2A

[PG]Godmodder: 213/300 HP(Status-Effect Boost buff ticket)(Yorehammer: Bypasses defenses)(Major charge: 3/3)

[V]Shadow portals: 100% open x 10 (spawning minions each turn!)

[V]Gummy Worm army: 2,500 x 7 HP, 2,000 x 7A (Gummy Worms do not need to breathe)
Monkey army: 2,000 x 5 HP, 2,000 x 5A

[V]Ronald Mcdonald: 8,500/20,000 HP, 10,000A

 

[gilded king]

That some impressive dedication but you messed up //null

 

[hungry visitor]

Real shit. Tell me the stuff you see as problematic. Ooops I see

 

[gilded king]

That's right , it ain't threadmarked //null

 

[Moniker]

"We aren't allys? but our text colors are nigh-identical!"
"Jokes aside, when deciding what to do with the prize and in general, I try to be as rational as possible. I'm afraid I'm still unclear on what happens if the godmodder gets all the legendary weapons, but to prove my trustworthiness, know that I willingly (temporarily) sacrificed some of my own life force to destroy one of them, keeping the godmodder from accessing it Forever. "
"I'm also neutral in the conflict. give me some reward worth having, and I'll do whatever I can to help. it is very likely you can help me, since your secret weapon in fighting star was enhanced with godmodding power."
"But. I am still suspicious of you. last time there was a sidequest to retrieve a legendary weapon( someone else did it, it was the weapon I destroyed), the nice-seeming person who tried to help was literally Lucifer and used soul-based magics to force the person who obtained the weapon to instantly give it to the godmodder."
"as well, instead of fighting one another if we win, I suggest a magical contract to ensure neither of us betrays the other, that we hear one another out, and, IF we cannot come to any agreement after arbitrarily large amounts of time, re-engage in combat as if none of that had ever happened."
"Do you believe this to be a fair decision, Altair?
still telepathy, but with dif' target:
"Mirror, my suggestion we find a way to have the person who Would lose seem to be transformed into like, a rock or something... then, if the remaining people are betrayed or need help, you spring out. if you want to contribute to a discussion, you spring out. if, however, you oppose whoever beat you, don't spring out. I will follow the same agreement if you would win."
the same message goes out to Eevee shadow bacon .
as for battle-actions...
"Wizard, School of Divination Portent Feature.
After each long rest, roll two 2d20. Record the results. Then throughout the day, you can expend each result to make that be the outcome of any one attack roll, saving throw, or ability check for you or any creature you can see."
I give fred-golem a wand of Steal and Hold Person, telling him to focus on using hold person to try to stun eevee and mirror.
meanwhile, using my still-present ranks in quickened casting (and 2 ranks in motionless classing and silent casting each), I cast a scroll of time stop, then plane shift. I then get some feats:
Extend spell. Extra Turning, Persistent spell, Divine Metamagic (Persistent Spell), Duplication feet (Persistent spell XII).
I cast a scroll of extended empowered maxed time stop, and rest for about 8 hours, replenishing my spell slots, before the time stop spell gives out.
I return to the main battle area, and quickened cast the "steal" spell 4 times, which means it will succeed an average of once, stealing as much of their money as they concentrate into a single one of their possessions. if fred manages a hold person, he'll use steal on them while they're trapped.


Magic number seven, ask Eevee to pick a card, any card!... wait, no, not that one.... No, not that one either. Also not that one... look, just take this card ok? good? good.
this card happens to be the death card for Eevee! unless seven mixed up the death card for magic seven and eevee, but he made sure it wasn't me, Mirror, or altair. its weird that eevee tried to take everything but their card until forced otherwise, though. they must have really good luck [orbecheating.]

Click to shrink...

Altair: I appreciate the offer. But I hate contracts. If you want to talk, just talk.

Altair: However, JOEbob, you mentioned you destroyed a legendary weapon. To the limits of my knowledge, that should be impossible. My connections would know immediately, even if you somehow managed it.

Altair: Mind telling me how you did it?

Fredgolem given Wand! He's going to try and use Hold Person...

You activate STEAL! You take $500,000 from both Eevee Shadow Bacon and Mr Mirror Man, and give it to yourself!

Lucky Number Seven is trying to counter Eevee Shadow Bacon's action...

I'll buy a DEATH CARD-O!

Click to shrink...

Lucky Number Seven intervenes! He holds up a bunch of cards and asks you to pick one! You ignore him and go for the terminal.

You sacrifice $4,950,000, and press the bottom-most button on the terminal! The giant tournament-ladder display temporarily switches to a card, about to flip over and reveal a face... the loudspeaker crackles...

???: Oh, I forgot to mention something earlier. Well, no.

???: Actually, we just lied about how the Death Card works.

???: Since it's such an obvious cop-out move, any gambler forced to draw it isn't worth their salt. So it just eliminates the gambler who drew it!

???: Think about it this way. You were taking a gamble that we weren't lying to you about how it worked. And you lost.

???: May the remaining gamblers have a great tournament!

Eevee Shadow Bacon DIES! By which I mean, they lose all but $1, which they've bet on Mr Mirror Man winning for them, and are made to sit in the audience until the match is over. They can still shout encouragement! Or alternatively, drop out and go back to the HEXAGONAFIELD. Which would leave Mr Mirror Man's team without a final opponent if they win. Well, the management will surely find some way to deal with that if it comes down to it!

ACTION:?/3 ITEM(S): 1x2,000 Damage Lottery Token
AMOUNT:?/3
CHARGE:5/10
$4,500,000 on Hand.
Seeing Eevee shadow bacon go for a Death Card, I pray to whatever may listen that it does not choose me to die. I like JOE's plan, but what ever is running this tournament would clearly be able to tell if one of us was still in the game or not, though we might be given some leeway due to the actions of Altair, I might be able to stay in the game if I let a piece of myself be broken off of myself when I'm hit, allowing me to jump out later. Other then that. I collect '???' not-positive feelings about how Altair made their way to this round into a scroll burning spell, destroying their scrolls of Time Stop.

Click to shrink...

You've agreed to JOEbob's proposal of trying to remain in the game if you lose! Success is not guaranteed, however. You destroy Altair's scrolls of Time Stop!

--------

Fredlem tries to use Hold Person on Mr Mirror Man! Mr Mirror Man quickly gets out of the way, and the attack hits Somnolem instead! Somnolem counters by not doing anything, since they didn't have orders, and also they don't have any special items. The effect wears off as soon as Somnolem's turn is over.

Altair pulls out six knives, held between his fingers, and strides menacingly towards Mr Mirror Man, clearly uninterested in the terminal. He throws all six of them at once, hitting Mr Mirror Man in the gut! All he feels is his wallet getting lighter. He loses $2,900,000, leaving him with $1,100,000!

???: I helped you out there, Mr Mirror Man! I'd hate to see the match be completely lopsided...

???: The power-up terminal is yours to use.




2v2 Round:

JOEbob/Fred as golem minion+wand/Lucky Number Seven:
Has $3,900,000(possessing random gambler)

Altair:
Has $11,000,000, 3 scrolls of Time Stop

VS.

Mr. Mirror Man/Somno as golem minion:
Has $1,100,000

Eevee Shadow Bacon:
Has $1
Spectating!

POWER-UP TERMINAL:
Digital Slot Machine: Bet your money for a chance to win more money!
Invulnerability: Pay half your current cash for invulnerability for all of the turn following the one you purchase it on. Can only be used once per person.
Boost Roulette: Pay $1M for a completely random boost to yourself, or a random debuff on the enemy gamblers!

 

[Eevee shadow bacon]

I'm dead...THANK FUCKING GOD!

 

[Featherfall]

Terry: "OH COME ON I OVERSLEPT AGAIN"
----
Terry: "for hexagonamas i want a bunch of cool swords, i guess"
Terry: "really just out of ideas"
----
FOCUS!
Terry whacks Xerath repeatedly with his microphone-staff. Remember that?

 

[JOEbobobob]

"I was holding yorehammer at the time and the godmodder was holding the heart. I hit the godmodder with a conditional attack, and won the heart steal roll on one of the godmodder versions. that godmodder version, and his corresponding JOE, then went to the non-existent corner of the hexagonfield, taking 1 yorehammer with him and disappearing."
"Meanwhile, there was now:
the main yorehammer, in my hands.
The main Resolute heart, in the godmodder's hands.
And A timeduplicated perfect copy of the resolute heart, in my hands."
"I didn't have much time left before the weapons got rid of all my life force, so I rushed forwards, bypassing the godmodders defences with yorehammer, and forcefully pushed the timeduplicated resolute heart into contact with the real one."
"I'd previously been tipped off by some divine force of some sort that a perfect copy should be impossible, and that this would allow for a massive explosion."
"It also consumed the hearts, real and fake, in said explosion."
"and dealt 2 - 3 (unsure) damage to the godmodder"
"I think godmodder also got yorehammer back in the process?"
"But yeah, thats how I destroyed the resolute heart."
"I'm probably going to brag about it till the end of my days."

"Maximized empowered extended Enchanted POLYMORPH: Other!"
alrighty then.
the polymorph spell flys forwards. magic number seven enhances it further, and golemfred uses multiple hold person castings to keep them from dodging . the polymorph spell transforms mirror into...
a Enormous Dragon.
"Charm Moanster!"
it wouldn't work if they had a bunch of money left but they've got barely any. they have been """charmed"""(not actually but remember the deal.) to my side and turned into a dragon. as the round ends, I transform somno-golem into a more somno-like state with partial dispel magic.

 

[hungry visitor]

I use the X-blade to cut myself and get some blood on the Statues of me that were named Moniker, but now maybe are no longer named Moniker.

The statues seem to be alive... of course I knew that. Why else would I get blood on the Statues?
The inner Initiator heals the wound instantly and now I got a lot of Driver pillar men.

Attack shield the Driver pillar men.
They should be able to absorb anything that has mass, but better be save than sorry.

X-blade super combo!
Time to make use of these no longer ultra rare X-blades! Me and the pillar-mes shoot blinding rays out of the X-blades.
They free the soul of the body, which weakens and kills the enemy.