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Defeat The Godmodder

Reader mode
"ooohhhhh noooooo..."
"Where... are we?"
"I don't believe this! This is Minecraft!"
"You know this place?"
"This place was the greatest place to be in. Well... besides what happened with this world."
"What happened?"
"It's a long story. Now, I need to get this stuff off me. This is weakening me!"

Action 1: I try to take off the Gauntlet of Weakness but it is not so easily taken off. So I have an Idea, I decided to use this to my advantage. I take my one hand and infuse my player powers into it. This slowly changes to the Gauntlet of Strength.
Action 2: Once I was done with the Gauntlet, I move on to the has boots of slowness. I then use my both hands to Convert it to the Boots of Speed.


Kirby, Still on the ship has now seen that all players have stood still, Including Bill Nye. It seems like time has stopped. Kirby then goes to the terminal and contacts Shadrix, "We got a problem."
"I am kinda in the middle of *grunts* something here!"
"It's about Bill. He... just stopped. It seems like time has stopped."
Shadrix pauses and deploys a shield. Asgore jumps in to try to destroy it to no avail. Shadrix then sits down and gives a sigh, "Anything else?"
"No, sir!"
"Cool! Well let me-"
"Wait, I forgot one thing, The machine is now installed. On your command I will activate the machine. I will call back if I found anything."
"Thanks. Shadrix out."
Shadrix turns off his shield which only got a dent in it and performs a MEGA PUNCH. This deals 1000 Damage to him. Flowey then summons lots of Friendliness pellets and shoots them at Shadrix. Gaster notices this move and fires a laser towards The pellets, Destroying them. Gaster, however, gets slashed by Chara. His body splits open due to the slash but it doesn't hurt him. Chara looks on with a surprised look as Sans fires 4 Gaster Blasters at Chara, Chara takes the blast and loses 70 HP. The blast continues and goes straight to Flowey who takes 3000 damage. Asgore, after recovering from his punch jumps up and throws his trident as Shadrix. This nails him right on the shoulder and losses 1 HP. Shadrix was pinned down to the floor and can't move. Asgore laughs at him. Gaster then turns his hands blue and crumbles the trident to pieces. Asgore gets angry and creates 2 more tridents. He rushes towards Gaster and proceeds to stab him multiple times. While the jabs only go through him, Gaster can't seem to move or do anything.


TO BE CONTINUED...


BATTLE SCHEMATIC

Scene = Throne Room

AC
Shadrix HP: 99999999999998 ATK: ??? DEF: ??? (Suit set into ATK mode) (Filled with DETERMINATION)
sans HP: 1 DEF: 1 (Powered by Shadrix's DETERMINATION) (Has a 100% dodge rate) (dodge rate can lower if tired)
Gh@st3r HP: 666666 ATK: 6666 DEF: 66666 (Can't be harmed by normal means) (Can glitch out the enemy) (Stunned)

PC
Chara HP: 29 ATK: 99 DEF: 99 (Filled with Determination) (Has 7 Butterscotch Pies) (can be revived upon death)
Flowey HP: 9000 ATK: 31 DEF: 20 (made with Chara's Glitches) (Can trap an entity) (can hide underground)
Asgore HP: 6000 ATK: 160 DEF: 160 (made with Chara's Glitches) (can stun one entity)

D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N Integrity status: 0.9999% hehheh
 
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1. I use a strong magnet to detach that stupid helmet from my head
2. I butter my fingers to easily make the ring goes away
3. I pull out a flamethrower and start going wild on the spiders.
 
Boots of Slowness? That certainly won't do, as always I need every action of mine to achieve anything.

Okay, look at me. Now look away.

Now back at me. Now to the The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

*cue a few hundred more of these*

Now back at me, don't mind the missing Boots of Slowness. Now back to The Itsy Bitsy Spider and its new fashionable pair of boots. Yep, those Boots of Slowness do look much better on The Itsy Bitsy Spider. (x1)

Sliding across the ground to Ray, Sealed Game Master I tackle Ray as my body bulks up to five times its normal size, bulging muscles covering my body as Ray hits the ground painfully.

Picking up Ray with my vastly enhanced strength I pose like a baseball pitcher and hurl Ray right into The Itsy Bitsy Spider's face...ouch it looks like Ray's body is now embedded in one of the Spider's eyes. Ray might have to cut himself free when he Unseals, can't stab anyone like that. (x1)

"It's truly amazing to have you back Temporal Guardian, it's been so long since I've seen you and you've managed to achieve so much in that time. It's so great to see a prosperous entity of mine, I'm honestly at a lost for words. The current circumstances make this reunion limited to a few mere words yet after this we'll do this properly. I know at least Rotaz will be overjoyed to have you back, there's few reasons for joy in this war but let's make sure your return is one of those rare moments."

"However," I shake my head, "at the moment we must instead focus on compact. Given the current situation I recommend you focus on getting rid of the Sealed Bosses, starting with the most troublesome ones such as the Sealed Snowball and the Sealed Player Thief. Always kill the snowballer and Player Stealing is not something we can afford right now."

I pause. "Of course only attack if you can do so without compromising the Za Warudo, I won't tarnish your moment of glory especially under these present circumstances."
 
Right, let's get to work.

2x I take off the Boots of Slowness and the Ring of Temptation and put them into a large magical cauldron. I then pile the cauldron with a bunch of other nasty stuff: Ghost Peppers, arsenic, muddy stagnant water, durians, surstromming, old gloves, used motor oil, super mario Poison Mushrooms, zonbie flesh, Rafflesias, and other nasty stuff. With a fire roaring under the cauldron I stir and stir and stir until all the nasty stuff, including the Ring and the Boots, has dissolved into a uniform dark-orange icky sloppy gloop.

1x Now, did you know that spiders don't eat solid food? They inject their prey with stomach acid to pre-digest it into a slop that they then drink. Knowing that, I take out a grappling hook and grapple up to the Itsy Bitsy Spider's head. There, I stick a funnel into its mouth and pour the probably very toxic and most certainly highly-debuffing sloppy gloop I made into the funnel, pouring it into the beast's mouth.

As for my most hated fictional character, well... I quickly change clothes into a hipster outfit that just screams 'entitled clueless leftist ""intellectual"" person' and look at Go An Na. You want to know who I absolutely LOATH, Goanna? Well I'll tell you. It's Gandalf, that white and/or grey so-called wizard from lord of the rings, that infamous reactionary propaganda. For starters, He claims to act in the service of so-called "maiar" or "gods".[1] Disgusting enough that he claims their existence, even worse is that he uses it as a justification for promotion of genocide. Genocide of the Orcs, I mean, creatures that for no apparent crime other than black wrinkled skin and a preference for quantity over quality in military tactics [2] he makes out to be deserving of extermination. He claims that these massacres are necessary to cleanse (that old excuse for religious massacres) the world of the influence of Morgoth, Melkor, and Sauron [3], other supposedly-divine beings who's crime is going against the desires of their fellows and making the world variant in shape instead of a homogeneous grassland. His crowing sin is when he gathers up a small band of western nobles[4]- yes NOBLES, those maniacs out of touch with the common man- to sneak into Mordor and sabotage their government, destroying any hope the orcs have of avoiding extermination. And did I mention that Gandalf and his band are MASSIVE mary sues, triumphing against enemy armies two hundred times their size simply because the author wants that to happen! [5] He also has an inexplicable desire to drive large arachnids to extinction with the excuse they were creations of this "Morgoth". HOW I LOATH HIM!

[1] Much like the various lesser and greater gods that have helped us out before the Godmodder killed them off, right?
[2] Really, the Godmodder's various killbots and such make Tolkien's Orcs looks both friendly and militarily competent.
[3] the BIG BAD GOD MAN sees these people as inspirations, he's basically them but overclocked.... and Goanna has similarities of it's own.
[4] Our band of players is just the Fellowship of the Ring except massively jacked up, right?
[5] What is our kill-death ratio now? fifty-thousand to one?
[6] Shelob, Ungoliant... the Itsy Bitsy Spider wouldn't look out of place near them.
GEE I wonder what side Gandalf would be on?
 
ES spends his first action tapping the Ring of Temptation with his other, gauntlet-clad hand. Its spatial position, registered in the Reality Code, is overwritten violently, and so it teleports several hundred kilometres to his left. That's that problem solved.

Then, he spends both his remaining actions on the same thing, solving Cake Quest permanently. Specifically, they both are attempts at the same method, just in case one gets overwritten to try and solve it the "normal", foolish way. Redundancy ho! If he's lucky, both actions will go through, because you can't be distracted by Cake Quest if you're on Cake Quest, just more efficiently.

"I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this," ES muttered to himself. "But this calls for my ultimate technique..."

He looks at the Cake Shop, and notes it as a shop, then quickly reads a microeconomics textbook before confirming the need. "Yes, this calls for capitalism. God help us all."

He immediately sets to work, and does a census of everyone even remotely alive as well as a survey of all resources and artefacts on the plane, putting them in a database of all possible things that might be involved in the fetch quest. He can do this instantaneously because he doesn't actually have to talk to anyone, unlike doing the fetch quest normally, so he just has to perform a topological analysis with Player Powers. He then finds the local rulers, should there be any, and overthrows them. Monarchy, democracy, theocracy, he doesn't actually care he just overthrows them with instant lightning strikes. More of a subduing than overthrowing, but same deal.

Then, he organises everyone into a single governmental structure, with a unified monetary system, intra-polity trade, resource extraction, and taxation. To handle the truly immense amount of bureaucracy this entails, he appoints Amelia as Chairman of the Eternal Party ("But I didn't agree to-" "Shhh. No tears, only paperwork.") He also immediately starts off with the taxation and resource extraction based on the survey he'd already did, and starts mining immediately and gets his first taxes. There are some objections, but they are quelled with promises of renewed public safety and a commitment to better living standards for all that the government that didn't exist thirty seconds ago makes. Also quelled by the many police drones ES spawns in, them to.

After minting some of the new money and having Amelia authorise a stimulus package to get it into circulation, ES walks into the Cake Shop with a handful of golden MineCoins, so named because they're in Minecraft. As in real life, gold is shiny and rare but not very useful in Minecraft, so is ideal for making currency.

He takes out the coins from his pocket and slams them on the counter. "Your finest cake, please."

The NPC shook his head. "I am sorry, but I will only exchange it for-"

"Old Man Jenkins' xylophone, I know." ES leaned forward, expression flat and serious. "Do ya know why money's better? It's because money can be exchanged for goods and services. It has flexibility. In technical terms, we say it 'avoids the double coincidence of wants'. Old Man Jenkins wants something, I'm sure. He can take this money, and then use it to get what he wants. If he wants a good, he can buy it from our Everything Stores." ES pointed at a massive building that had sprouted up opposite the Cake Shop. "If he wants something from someone specific, he can buy it from them and then they can use the money to get whatever they want, because everyone wants something generally speaking. And everyone accepts this currency, there's a crying orphan girl in an office making sure of that. If nothing else, accept the cash for her sake."

The NPC frowned. "What if Old Man Jenkins wants a dragon slain or something?" He asked.

ES shrugged. "We have killbots in our Everything Stores, it still works. And if the money changing hands ever drops below a needed threshold, our brave men and women..." He paused. "Drones and woman singular of the Cake Quest Subsidisation Office will be there to boost it back up. Listen, take the cash, buy the xylophone, give the cake. It's that simple."

He held out his hand. "So do we have a deal?"
 
1 action: Helmet of Betrayal.
HELMET OF BETRAYAL
Code: 
 HELMETOFBETRAYAL
 AABEEEFHLLMORTTY
 METAREBELHAYLOFT
META REBEL HAYLOFT
Meta-rebel Hayloft.
After that little anagram, the helmet is now a hayloft, in rebellion against its former nature. I wonder how the "meta" part will express itself, howev- "OW Why am I wearing a hayloft on my hea- oh. Grr... that was a counter-rebellion right there if I've ever seen one. A meta-rebellion, you might say."

1 action: I use a shoehorn to slowly... slowly.... slowly... pry the boots off of my feet. Wait, that's only one boot. I pry the other one off... (slightly less) slowly... (slightly less) slowly... done!

My least favorite fictional character... I would have to say Murphy Law. He's a quasi-noir detective with the morals of Punisher and the ability to turn stories he's involved with into a bad Humphrey Bogart-like fanfic. And you can't defeat him except by deconstructing him in the literary sense. Vaguely like 682, but if 682 was a detective who majored in liberal arts.

WHY IS MURPHY LAW A TYPEWRITER COMPANY'S BEST FRIEND BECAUSE A PARAGRAPH OR TWO IS TOO LITTLE TO DESCRIBE HIM IN DETAIL, AND HE KEEPS SHOOTING TYPEWRITERS, CREATING DEMAND FOR THEM
there I typed your stupid antijoke now are you going to stop using me for anagrams
- a 1937 Olympia Elite typewriter
 
'Well Buggery.' Is all I can think for a few moments has I look out across the current mess we are in. 'We have to defeat all of these bosses that we had fought earlier, remove all of these items that are placed on us, complete multiple side quests and finally defeat a supposedly unbeatable entity.' I let out a sigh at odds. 'Well I guess it's like they say, The only easy day was yesterday.' With that I prepare to fight.

Looking down at my hand I look over the ring of temptation and began to ponder how to get it off. 'I don't suppose it could be just as simple as taking it off could it?' I bring my left hand over to the ring and take hold of it and attempt to remove it. 1 tug, 2 tugs, 3 tugs. No dice. 'Nope, Why could it not be simple?' I attempt to see if I can twist it around but the ring remains firmly in place. 'Hmm, what to do, what to do?' I think to myself as I look it over. 'Hmm, Maybe I cou-' Just before I can finish that thought I see a portal open right in front of me. "What the -" "TTTTTHHHHEEEE PRECIOUSSSS!" I am then tackled to the ground by a nearly naked humanoid. "OI GET THE HELL OFF ME!" I deliver punch straight to the chin of the crazed lunatic and send them sprawling to the ground away from me. "TTTTTHHHHHEEEEE PPPPREEECCCIOOUUUSSSSS WWIIILLLL BE MINEEEE!" The humanoid screams out as I start to stand back up. "What the hell are you talking about?" I ask in momentary confusion as to who in the hell was attacking me at this time.

Instead of answering the humanoid leaps at me again with surprising speed and nearly grapples me again but I manage to dodge out of the way. Reaching down to my belt I take hold of the hilt of my K-bar fighting knife and pull it free from it's sheath, I then bring the knife up to a ready position. "Alright try that again, See what happens!" I say to the humanoid as he gets back up and we began to circle each other. After a few moments of this the humanoid stops and looks to the side and a portal opens, Then it leaps through it and the portal closes. 'Ehhhh, Okay are you one of those pricks that tele-' My thoughts are cut short by the conformation that yes he is indeed one of those pricks that teleports as again a portal opens up right above me and I am tackled again.

"TTTTTTHHHHEEEE PPPRREECIOOUSSS ISSS MINE!" The Humanoid yells again as we twist and tussle against each other. I manage to get a few good cuts in with my knife against him but it does not seem to faze the bastard as he is dead set on staying on me. Just then I hear the sound of another portal opening and before I realize what is happening me and the humanoid fall through it before it then closing again.

A few minutes later.

A portal open up not to far from where me and my attacker where last seen and out from the portal The humanoid leaps through it grasping a bloodied finger with the Ring of Temptation on it. "TTTHHHEEE PPPRREEECIOOUSS! YYOOUR MINE AGAINN!" The humanoid cries out in joy as he pulls the ring of temptation off the severed finger and places the ring of temptation onto his own hand. After that the humanoid just starts jumping up and down while ranting that the ring was his again all the while forgetting that the portal that he came from is yet to close.

Just as the humanoid is seemly beginning to calm down a shot rings out and a second later the humanoid drops to the ground with a quarter of his head missing. Out from the portal I reemerge, battered, bloodied, scratched all over and missing my ring finger on my right hand where there is a bloodied stump of where the finger once was. All the while holding a 1911 pistol in my left hand.

I walk over the fallen form of the humanoid lays and stand there for a few moments and I just look exhausted. Finally I rise up my pistol and shoot the body 6 more times, emptying the pistol. I then toss the pistol hard at the now very much dead body for good measure. "And...*Deep breathing* Stay dead!" I then walk away from the corpse and after moving to be a few yards away I seat down and reach down to my belt and pull out my canteen and manage to open it with one hand. Then taking a deep breath I pour some of the water onto my injured right hand to try and wash away some of the blood that covers it. It hurts but it is not unbearable. After that I pull out a small first aid and start painful process cleaning and bandaging my injuries. (3 CP used)
 
(x1)I attempt to tap into the a fraction of the sheer Timelessness outside this Plane..of Infinite Stillness and Invert it to become Infinite Speed which promptly destroy the Boots of Slowness via balancing out it's slowness and thus making it useless and thus dissolving into thin air
(x1)I engage Deep Meditation using Zen Teachings from the Monks that live on the Hill of Serenity who contemplate and reflect on the nature pf Tranquility and the Paradoxical Union of Quick Actions and Planned Foresight and gained deep understanding and Wisdom on the Philosophical Nature of Reality.I pick up the Helmet while in Zen Mode and simply place it to the side while thinking nothing and thus have nothing for it to latch on,rendering it useless and thus destroying it

Clearly my most hated Character is...Frisk,look at them,by the Golden Ending they are basically a Mary Sue turning previously vicious enemies into best friends within a short time span,somehow making friends with the entirety of the Underground within such a short amount of time that they never needed a toilet Break,they are ridiculous and a Bad Character and i hate them most absolutely,how can they make friends so easily,thus they are a Mary-Sue
 
Defeat the GoAnNa II
  • Threadmarks
    • The Ego said:
    I prepare to perform some martial arts, which must of course be done barefoot. Therefore, I take off my boots and give them to the itsy bitsy spider, who is in desperate need of shoes (and less actions).

    I then channel my inner Canadian by throwing off my gloves before getting into a fight. CANADA!
    (The Gauntlets land on the itsy bitsy spider's third eye)

    I then karate chop the snowball.


    (As an aside, my most hated fictional character is the LUDICROUSLY OVERPOWERED PC from DLE: JOEbob! He had this most annoying tendency to longpost at the drop of a hat, and take advantage of GM's art appreciation by spewing art and animation out of his various orifices directly at my face. All because I was the most powerful person in that game. If he were here, he'd probably shoot for the strongest boss in an obnoxious attempt to gather more power, which I HATE! (thanks real!JOE-who-isn't-DLE!JOE for being a chill guy who isn't DLE!JOE btw))
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    The Boots don't fit! But you don't stick around to try to make them do so. Your boots and you are GONE!

    CANADA! The Gauntlets bonk the itsy bitsy spider for 20,000 damage!

    You're out of actions this turn!

    Hated character noted.

    pionoplayer said:
    Alright, time to try some crazy ideas

    I look at the Defender Captain.
    "If that's true, then prove it to us. Help us take down these monsters, ALL of them, and we'll make sure to not attack the tower. But don't sabotage us, or anything like it. All of reality is at stake here, for both of our groups, we can't afford petty infighting. If we wind up having to remove you you'll be removed, but hopefully it won't come to that. I'll do something for you in return, next round (can't do it this round, my current stuff is a little time sensitive) to make sure your tower doesn't get inadvertantly wiped out by something else."

    I also tell Go An Na who my least favorite character is.
    He is known as The Great Destroyer, and was not only one of the most hated characters in all of fiction, but in all of Fiction as well. You see, he was an extremely powerful being, a Godmodder (though much lesser compared to The Godmodder of this game), and master of the elements. He scourged reality with vast and pointless destruction across its width and breadth, killing people, families... favorite characters. Everyone inside of the story hated his guts because where ever he went, devastation followed. Everyone outside of the story hated him because he was a poorly written power fantasy wish fulfilment character who derailed the plot whenever he appeared. Even his creator hated him upon looking back on his old writing, because he was the epitome of all the poor writing decisions he made. Literally everyone hated him, but there was little they could do for he was immensely powerful, capable of rending entire universes and so entrenched in canonical lore that he could not be excised...
    I have an extra personal reason to hate him, he wound up stealing the spotlight from my main character in the thing repeatedly, and killed an entire cast of characters that I could have done tons of really cool stuff with if he hadn't. Basically he ruined a ton of the stuff I tried to do back then, it was awful.
    If The Great Destroyer were to be summoned here, I'd probably flip out.

    Actions 1, 2 and 3 (Not sure if this would all be 1 action, or all 3 or just 2, but I figured it'd be safest to just apply all 3 and do my other stuff next round):
    I go talk to Old Man Jenkins about what he wants, and find out about it. I nod my head, and say I'll go do the thing for him, but I need him to hold onto something for me, since I'm pretty certain that this will take a while, and I don't want to lose my ring. I give him the Ring of Temptation to hold onto briefly, and leave the house to go deal with step 2 of the sidequest.
    Old Man Jenkins is immediately overwhelmed by the intense desire for cake. Since I didn't actually tell him what I needed the xylophone for, he immediately leaves the house to go down to the cake shop and barter with the shop owner for the cake. He is ecstatic to discover that all he needs for this is his old xylophone back at home, so he dashes up the hill to retrieve. Only to find that I snuck around the back of the house instead of going on to the next step of the sidequest, then came back around the front in his front door when he rushed down to the cake shop, waltzed in the door he left unlocked in his hunger-addled hurry, and took the xylophone. I went back out to the side of the house, waited until I saw him running back up the hill, and teleported down to the cake shop, turned the xylophone in for cake, and distributed it to the playerbase.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    The Defender Captain's expression twists to a smile.

    Defender Captain: Excellent! We can teach you all the ins and outs of every boss you fight. Please, do not hesitate to ask us for advice.

    Hated character noted! But do be careful, the characters Go An Na summons tend to end up on his side!

    Old Man Jenkins takes the ring... and puts it in his bedside drawer.

    With that done, section complete! Next, you have to get the pie from the baker!

    FlamingFlapjacks said:
    x1 First, I wrap myself in a combination of Flex Tape, Gorilla Glue, and Bubble Wrap, and cast a spell for it to disappear once I clear my inventory! This way, I won't hurt my allies if my attacks are affected by the helmet of betrayal
    x1 then, I start a love triangle between the boots of slowness, the helmet of betrayal, and myself. I slowly entrance the helmet, and then, right as it's about to propose, the boots, feeling betrayed by the helmet, leaps in and stabs the helmet to death, destroying it. It realizes what it's done, and sobs, not noticing me pulling out a shotgun.
    It then realizes it's about to be shot, and grabs the corpse of the helmet, and runs away! It runs to the mountains, where it practices necromancy to bring the helmet back to life. The newly revived helmet and the boots decide to defeat me, they must help my enemy. They turn into item form, and pop into the Spider's inventory, where the curse of binding and the curse of auto equip I stuck on them activates, automatically equipping them! They ready themselves for battle, ignoring the spider's screeching at them.
    I tell Go An Na my least favorite character is Old Man Henderson, for his vile killing of Played Characters!
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Betrayal attempts from the helmet will now fail!

    The Boots of Slowness equip themselves on the itsy bitsy spider, reducing their available actions by one! However, the itsy bitsy spider is DEFINITELY attacking you every change it gets! You sigh as you notice the Helmet of Betrayal betrayed the Boots of Slowness in their new alliance, and is back on your head once again...

    Uh... least favorite character... registered...?

    Daskter said:
    Attempt #1 I grab my necklace and Vylad's necklace, and then I make the necklaces hold each other. Has they both desire to kill their holder they are both destroyed in their attempts to kill the other necklace.

    2x The itsy bitsy spider is trapped inside a terrarium.

    I declare that I hate the Raynor's Raiders from Starcraft. They are too soft when their trying to save the world against the tyrants. Not pragmatic enough.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Cake Quest distracts you from necklace grabbing! Section complete! Now you need to get the tree from the forestmaster!

    Cake Quest distracts you from your terrarium trapping - but it still goes through since you spent 2 actions on it! Section complete! Now you need to get the mine from the ore!

    The itsy bitsy spider manages to find a secret spout-shaped exit and escape!

    Most Hated character selected!

    Crusher48 said:
    Great. Apparently all of my allies are gone, trapped on the Hexagonafield that is frozen in time. I'll have to win this fight myself.

    Action 1: I go talk to-

    Stop. Dangerous memetic hazard detected. Mind penetration at 60%. Deploying emergency mental purge countermeasures.

    Wait, what was I doing?

    Purge countermeasures deployed. Memory of previous fifteen seconds wiped, all sensory input censored.

    Wait, what? Why?

    A surprise infohazard almost got to you. Even with your mental defenses, you simply were not prepared.

    Well, then initiate all countermeasures and resistance layers.

    All of them? The threat isn't that strong.

    First, all memory of the threat was wiped. It may truly require our full mental defenses to handle, but we won't know until we re-engage. And secondly, even if we don't need all of our defenses, we may need to expand a mental network to protect all of our teammates, and that would but more stress on our defenses.

    Action 2: I take the obvious solution to a Clingy MacGuffin on my feet, and cut my legs off at the knee. It hurts a lot, but the boots are no longer attached to my feet, and thus not in my inventory.

    Now that I am no longer being slowed, I now have a third action again.

    Action 3: I propose that this action be Arbiter-boosted.

    I steal the power of Contessa, the master of winning in 1 in a trillion odds, and calculate a simple Path To Victory.

    Calculate Path: Kill the Itsy Bitsy Spider.
    Result: Have all players assault it nonstop for a period of approximately 2844444 rounds.

    Alright, maybe a bit more complex than that.

    Calculate Path: Kill or permanently neutralize the Itsy Bitsy Spider within a period of 1 round
    Result: Calculating...

    Now that Path To Victory has been forced to go all-out, it will project all possible realities that could ever occur from this starting point, searching for one where the Itsy Bitsy Spider was killed or permanently neutralized within a period of one round.

    Now, I know for a fact that there is at least one possible reality where that has occured. Everything that exists has a Critical Soul Weakness, and in at least one reality, someone did a random attack that just happened to be the Itsy Bitsy Spider's Critical Soul Weakness, killing it instantly.

    Once that reality is found, the projections will then shift to show me a way to hit that Critical Soul Weakness with my attack. I follow that Path to Victory, and kill the Itsy Bitsy Spider.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    You successfully wipe your memory of Cake Quest! ...But wait, now that you've seen this, you've just remembered it again. Well, it protects your other 2 actions this turn.

    5 damage to yourself! Boots removed successfully!

    Well, you only had 2 actions this turn, but proposing is a free action so you're fine. Alright, planed noted.

    The quiet watcher said:
    The quiet watcher punches That_Random_Guy down and brutally rips his necklace off before pocketing it. Seeing the way it would automatically kill things gave him an idea that he could preform, and hitting another player counts as a betrayal and as such prevents it or later actions from being effected by his helm's effects.

    Then, he opens a door to the inside of the Itsy-bitsy spider, and replaces its venom sac with the necklace, giving him something that he could do a lot more damage to anything with.

    Then, he slowly drips the venom down upon his helmet to destroy it via the super-powerful acid that the spider was going to use in its bites.

    Of course, his most hated fictional character was Lord Sunday, the Eldest son of the Architect of all reality.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    You are correct on the count of the helmet of betrayal! You can't betray someone you're already betraying! And it looks like betraying your allies makes you immune to Cake Quest's mind-takeovers, too!

    3 damage to That_Random_Guy! You get his necklace! Of course, now its in YOUR inventory, so its not dealt with.

    You replace one of the spider's venom sacs with the necklace! Its attack count is reduced by 1! It looks like it's going to take effect soon...

    The helmet melts away! Your inventory is somewhat cleaner.

    BlackJesusTheOne said:
    I descend from the heavens, housing a smug look on my face.
    Surely a 'godmodder' is easy pickings for the literal son of Black God.

    I sit on a rock, the holy spirit perched on my shoulder.

    Let's see whether or not I need to intervene.
    Click to expand...
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    Oh, hello. Are you... somebody's Most Hated character? No, no, doesn't seem like it... okay, you're new! Welcome to the game! Things are pretty chaotic right now. Everybody is currently fighting Go An Na, a horrible monstrosity that will eternally loop Reality if not stopped! You can help clear other Player's inventories, or try to stop the Spider or other bosses around.

    Ranger_Strider_ said:
    1. I need to take off these shitty boots! Ah... Or I could just make them go off like that.... oh.... That could work... I fly up to the sun and dip my boots into it. This pain.... IS NOTHING!!!! I pull away from the sun, the boots melted away from me.
    2. I send the spider off (hopefully already in a terrarium) By flinging the terrarium to the other side of the map.
    Defenders..... I see no real problem with working with you.
    I would also truly hate it if my absolute LEAST favorite character was spawned! It would be so terrible to have a perfect Mary Sue Naruto who was uber friendly and disgustingly chipper. He's the kind of overpowered piece of trash that just ruins a good story. Him being such a meddling do-gooder is also a shame as well....
    Click to expand...
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    Your boots are destroyed in the fires of a star! Everybody wonders how you managed to get up to Minecraft's sun, but nobody seriously questions it.

    The Spider, who was at that moment about to escape the spout, suddenly finds itself very, very far away. This may be an impediment.

    Most Hated character selected!

    Ender_Smirk said:
    The Heir looks at the twin objects he has been forced to possess currently. He thinks for a moment, and then, he gets a look in his eye. It looks... Princely. His Hoodie changes, having the pants on half of him begin to look odd, and scrunched up. The hood itself seems to look odd on that side as well. Suddenly, the two objects he was forced to have begin to glow. He says, "Once I was a prince, in a land that was bulldozed to make room for a land much like this. Prince, one who destroys that aspect. Heir Parallel, one who can be any class, or any aspect, along his cross section, but not both. I think... that I can count as a prince, for this." Suddenly, the two identical, at least in function, items begin to glow brighter. "Two Parallel items given to the Heir Parallel. Why did you not guess this, Go An Na? Also, to give you a fair fight, I will tell you my worst fear. You should see dimensional coordinates being broadcast to you for a specific Ender Dragon. I will be honest, in saying that it is one of the most powerful creatures I have met. I suggest you summon that for a fair defense against me." As he says this, the other side of his hoodie begins to glow teal, as the dimensional coordinates are broadcast, and simultaneously, everything that is parallel between the two helmets, vanishes. They no longer have their effects, neither is a helmet, instead simply two flat metal sheets of different shapes, and both now are off of him.
    (Sum up, specifies an ender dragon for Go An Na to shoot at him, and ruins the betrayal helmets using direct application of a power that would be incredibly difficult to harm literally anyone else by using.)
    Click to expand...
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    You pass all your RNG checks and your action goes through!

    The helmets become ordinary, and thus utterly useless.

    Go An Na considers. Does this count as a Most Hated Character? Probably not, he concludes. It won't be summoned.

    Karpinsky said:
    1x action:
    I notice that my Ring of Temptation is actually a Calamari Ring of Temptation. And I happen to like Calamari Rings. So I take it off of my finger and eat it.

    1x action:
    I set the Sealed Snowball on fire, killing it.

    /hatenull
    As for my most hated character, I'd have to say it's Superman. I mean, the dude's stupid OP. He's strong and fast and durable and shoots laser beams from his eyes AND he can FLY, for Arbiter's sake! And that stupid holier-than-thou super-moral "truth and justice" attitude he has... well, they don't call him the Big Blue Boy Scout for nothing. No, sir, I would not want to be on his bad side.
    Click to expand...
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    You would've removed the ring of temptation, and set the sealed snowball on fire, but you feel compelled... CAKE...

    Part complete! Now you need to get the pezza from the piper.

    Part complete! Now you need to get the cloud from the olympic gymnast.

    If you have bad RNG luck for too long, maybe somebody else in a better position could remove some of these items for you?

    JOEbobobob said:
    Most Hated: this one dude called Pionoplayer. he nuked all my stuff in this forum-game-godmodder-fight-fanfiction thing called DestroyLordEnglish for BASICALLY no reason and he nuked all the bosses like five times better then everyone else. He had this item called rapture which basically just multiplied his power and gave him two undodgeblockable attacks and i think it had 3 uses for multiplying his power even more and then he nuked my entities when I wasn't bothering anyone with them and he didn't even think it was worth getting mad about and I couldn't even kill him because he would be able to just kill me back.
    One thing I have to admit is he never went as far as actually Killing another player. Oh, he was fine with killing everything they cherish, mostly if they were me. And he did make it nigh-impossible for anyone to get these 'spoil' things by killing everything himself (he killed like 5 bosses at once a few times it was insane and unfair and op pls nrf.). But he wouldn't actually kill players. Not that I cared, really. I was trying to do cool things and he showed up every-so-often and just killed all my stuff. I admit, I might have been a bit unreasonable at the time, but I definitely still hate him more then any other fictional character I know of. It may not be moral or rational to care more just because it happened to me in particular, but I care more, darn it!
    He also accepted Player charge in this 'credit store' thing which was Totally my idea first even though he played the first game and did it there before i knew the games existed, because I was original about it. it was ridiculous, he just wanted more and more charges! Whenever anyone bid on his thing, the other person had better bid higher or everything they cherish dies! he wouldn't accept being bribed by non-players though- didn't want to ride the plot train or something. Still, I hope he doesn't show up. I really hate the guy (HE KILLED MY SHTUFF)

    {If this is aloud and I get cakequest'd, priority order is the same as text order; do the first ones first if possible.}
    [1] I'm wearing a necklace? but I was already wearing a spacial storage drive as a necklace, which isn't an item because it was previously purely cosmetic! Since i'm wearing both, you would think they'd explode by being inside one another, but spacial storage drives have lots of space so clearly the new necklace is stored in the drive. Since it is, and isn't physically around my neck to begin with, it's simplicity itself to turn on the spacial switch of the drive. one explosion of cotton candy composed of dreams later, and the necklace is outside the drive, before quickly falling onto the Spider's neck. turns out, the necklace tried to expand due to being in an expanded space, but it couldn't finish in time to surround my neck, so now it's gigantic.
    And on the spiders neck.
    And requires non-CoR'd stuff to take it off.
    [1]Woo, more player power! All it took as around 10k to steal charmzard energy, and a lot of these bosses are weaker. I bend over, and out of my back surge several pure black tendrils, almost whip-like. out of my shoe comes some tape, which sticks to the edge of the black goo. then, I vomit out of my conk some spikes, which stick to the tape. While the Sealed units are either confused by my actions, or completely indifferent, I tense, and then launch the tendrils at each of them.The barrage slams into the Sealed Zombie, Sealed Snowball, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Sealed Gamemasters knife which is quickly stored in a Sqnfwk snake-poison-proof ball of energy , Itsy Bitsy Spider, Sealed Player Thief, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. With a pulse of light, Their respective energies are drained and stored in my spacial necklace that was double-established last action. With any luck, this mix of energies will be averageable to Go An Na energy, and we can make an anti-Go An Na Lock.

    [1] So, moniker's established on discord that seeing the past of a place is only one action. As such, I rain a teal light on the Tower and see what happened when the Last group of players came along. treachery? combat? or neither?

    [0] free action, so if it fails from cakequest I try it again several times.
    I ask the Temporal Guardian whether Go An Na exists in Doomed Timelines. I also note that there are ways to make Doomed Timelines without Time Paradoxes, in case the guardian is worried, and I have one in mind.
    Click to expand...
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    One of your actions is thiefed by Cakequest! Part complete! Now you need to get the Taint from the Terraria Biome.

    Necklace given to the Itsy Bitsy spider! Now it has 2 of them!

    You get a whole bunch of energy, but its all been corrupted! Now you have Go An Na energy! The Temporal Guardian immediately runs to you, grabs your container, and destroys it. There's no way he can risk even a bit of Go An Na surviving, energy form or no. Besides, Go An Na locks are a myth.

    The Temporal Guardian says that Doomed Timelines are very bad and shouldn't ever be messed with. Of course, even he can't define everything that happens with them.

    GoldHero101 said:
    "Wh... what?"

    3 ACTION FOCUS - SHATTER: Using the latent power within me, I shatter the items, causing shards to fly out, dealing statuses out to all of the monsters.
    Click to expand...
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    Cake quest steals 2 of your actions!

    Part complete! Now you need to get the How to Solve Cakequest instantly manual from the bookstore owner!

    Part complete! Now you need to get the bookstore owner from the bookstore manager!

    With the remaining action, you shatter the Ring of Temptation, and shards ironically hit the Lightshard! The Lightshard for a moment finds themselves wanting to bake all their friends into a cake. But he shakes it off!

    Krill13 said:
    tfw 2 Rings of Temptation

    All Actions:
    Eyowe REALLY loses to the temptation of Cake and goes ham(or cake) on doing Cake Quest. He's so tempted he's even bought all available and unavailable Cake Quest merch and is now wearing all 31115 of them. Of course, as a true Cake Quest (tempted) fan would, the weight of all those merch don't really affect him.
    Click to expand...
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    As a 25% chance is being doubled twice, you have a 100% chance to be tempted by the cake... Of course, if your actions already involve Cake Quest, then you're always successful! You buy all the Cake Quest merch in existence, and complete 3 parts! "All the Cake Quest merch" includes 3 more Rings of Temptation! Oh boy!

    Part complete! Now you need to get the Go An Na-themed china set from the china store!

    Part complete! Now you need to get the bull away from the china store!

    Part complete! Now you need to get the bull food from Tractor Supply!

    Vylad said:
    Action (1) I attempt to make an armour made of Player Energy for myself. (If works, immediately equip) (-1)

    Action (2) Summon all 270 Clones too my location, all of which equipped with sonic guns. (-1)

    Action (3) Summon SCP-294 too my location.

    Free Action:
    Have a clone quickly start smashing the words 'Cup of Itsy Bitsy Spider' into the SCP, over and over and over again.

    My most hated character would have to be... There's not many, but I'd say Momonga (From Overlord).. I really didn't like him..
    Clones: 270
    Click to expand...
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    Momonga added to the list!

    You make some armor that increases your maximum HP by 5! It is now equipped!

    Your clone army is now here with you! You think, maybe you could sacrifice 1 of them to block 1 Itsy Bitsy Spider attack...

    You get distracted before you can summon SCP-294! Cake quest! Part complete! Now you need to get the Bull Food II from Tractorer Supply!

    Alastair Dragovich said:
    Alastair looks at the Ring of Temptation. So, the thing makes him twice as likely to do actions to complete the Cake Quest? Then there's one thing to do to get rid of it and ALL of the infernal things! In fact, if he's doing shenanigans to complete the Cake Quest, then the ring can't stop him, because it only tempts him into doing that action harder!

    Finish the Cake Quest. And since it's a fetch quest and not a combat quest, the Gauntlet of Weakness is utterly useless.

    Now, Shenanigans are the best bet to deal with this. But multiple actions into a single shenanigan is useless! How can he use his Actions to defeat that?

    Simple. He must make THREE SEPARATE SHENANIGANS!

    The horror!

    Now, since Piono was a boss and has already established that Old Man Jenkins is getting the cake for us, all I need to do is ensure that Old Man Jenkins A) gets it and B)Shares it with us.

    Shenanigan one is simply preventing the Xylophone from being stolen. This is complicated, given just how many factions want that Xylophone! Fortunately, The Itsy Bitsy Spider is one of those who wants to seize that Xylophone, so it does most of the work! In fact, anything that is a real threat to the Xyplophone's safety is killed by that thing, leaving Alastair to simply employ ludicrous amounts of traps to subdue the rest until the transaction is made. At that point, they simply give up and go home once they free themselves from their bonds since the NPC is invinicble.

    Next would be getting the Old Man to share the cake with the Players. After all, it was worth his Xylophone. However, this was child's play since it was the Ring's temptation that drove the Old Man to Cakedom. Alastair simply walks up with a note written in Pionoplayer's handwriting saying to give the Ring of Temptation to him. Since the effects don't stack, Alastair isn't any more tempted to do Cake Quest than he was earlier. Shenanigan number two, done.

    Now, Old Man Jenkins is out one Xylophone and has a useless cake! Alastait walks up with the Psychology Doctorate he got to cure himself of the depression and other nastiness that he had back when his family died to the Godmodder! He proceeds to convince Old Man Jenkins to have a session with him, and Alastair helps him go through the five stages of grief, find out what the object was that he wanted in the first place, and help him let go of the desire to have it. Alastair then lets him know that he require a very specific kind of Payment - the Cake Old Man Jenkins just got. Alastair accepts the Cake as payment and immediately splits it among the Players before he either eats it all himself, or they all bum rush him for the darn thing.

    As Alastair eats cake, he thinks about what he hated the most. His most hated character in fiction. Then it occurs to him.

    "Scrappy Doo." He says simply. "That mutt is annoying, useless, and soaked up the attention far too much! Sure, he saved the Scooby Doo franchise, but he then LONG overstayed his welcome and just threatened to end the thing he saved! Gosh DANG IT Scrappy!"
    Click to expand...
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    Xylophone made impossible to steal! Old Man Jenkins thanks you politely!

    Old Man Jenkins nods, and gives you the Ring of Temptation. Now you, also, are in the same boat as Krill13 was, 100% tempted to do Cake Quest all the time!

    Old Man Jenkins happily accepts your therapy session. He details his immense sadness at the death of his wife, and how the xylophone meant everything to her, and why it could only be replaced by whatever it was the next part of the quest was all about. You nod sagely, only to unfortunately realize you will not be paid due to mistaken assumptions.

    That-Random-Guy said:
    Action 1: the Necklace of Death. Ah, yes. The Itsy Bitsy Spiders necklace of death. Who else could bear such majesty? Not me, certainly. The spider cannot possibly refuse the return of its rightful I submit this action for Arbitrator boosting, as it with enough power it will take the Itsy Bitsy Spider, the main threat, out of circulation quite soon.

    Action 2+3: The temporal Guardian needs some attack shields.

    For my least favorite fictional character, I submit DIO, because the ass is so overpowered with his timestop.

    OOC: someone to act as a backup Time Guardian/extra method of tying down Itsy Bitsy Spider/generally useful/
    Click to expand...
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    Action submitted! But, it looks like somebody else already took your necklace of death and got it on the spider.

    One attack shield placed! But then temptation tells you one is probably fine so you go run off and complete a bit of Cake Quest! Part complete! Next you need to get the pizza from the pezza shop.

    Winkins said:
    Hated Fictional Character huh? Well, I don't really have a hated character nowadays, but... When I was a teen, I happened to hate pirates and was a major fan of ninjas at the time. I recall watching Peter Pan and just didn't like Captain Hook, was also the reason why I try not to watch it even though I liked the movie it very much!

    (Action!)
    (Action 1)
    Utterly disgusted by these "Artifacts" on my being, I perform the sacred ritual that involves the expulsion of these items! Clearing my throat and holding the helmet with both hands, I commenced the ritual.

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

    This Ritual cry lasted for a few seconds, seconds which allow me to grasp the helmet and YEET it at the Itsy Bitsy Spider and landed perfectly on the Spider's eye, which now has equipped it.

    (Action 2)
    Having similar feelings about the Gauntlets which I had with the Helmet, I remove them by summoning a tub of Super Slip Oil and dunk my arms into it. Immediately, the Gaultlets slip right off my arm and stay at the bottom of the tub, more than likely to unobtainable for a while due how slippery they are.

    Happy that the gauntlet is off, I teleport the tub away with the gauntlet and wash my arms by washing them in a waterfall.

    (Action 3)
    As for my last action, I work on the Levitate Redirector!
    Click to expand...
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    Captain Hook registered!

    The Helmet of Betrayal lands on the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Its equipped... could it work...?

    The Gauntlets are off, and appropriately dealt with!

    The Levitate Redirector? I'm not sure you have it with you anymore, if its something you started before you entered this Minecraftverse.

    Dragon of Hope?!? said:
    I summon a completely untrained dog, and... I take off the boots of slowness, and throw them! "Fetch boy!" Of course, since the dog is untrained it immediately buries the boots in the mud after tearing them up! And everyone knows you can't wear torn and muddy boots!

    I grab the Helmet of Betrayal and eat it! And since I'm a dragon, my insides are ridiculously hot. Molten metal is spay out soon after. (If the boots need 2 actions, then don't use this and just have 2 actions used for the boots please.}
    Click to expand...
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    Your first action is intercepted by the helmet of betrayal! By accident, you order your dog to bite Ender_Smirk, and he does! Ender_Smirk takes 3 damage! No!

    Your second action you attempt to repeat the first action, but the guilt from your previous betrayal makes you susceptible to temptation! Cake quest part complete! Now you need to get the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon copy from the 3-year old!

    The Helmet of Betrayal and Cake Quest couldn't affect you or tempt you if you were ALREADY doing one or the other... hmm...

    Bill Nye said:
    "ooohhhhh noooooo..."
    "Where... are we?"
    "I don't believe this! This is Minecraft!"
    "You know this place?"
    "This place was the greatest place to be in. Well... besides what happened with this world."
    "What happened?"
    "It's a long story. Now, I need to get this stuff off me. This is weakening me!"

    Action 1: I try to take off the Gauntlet of Weakness but it is not so easily taken off. So I have an Idea, I decided to use this to my advantage. I take my one hand and infuse my player powers into it. This slowly changes to the Gauntlet of Strength.
    Action 2: Once I was done with the Gauntlet, I move on to the has boots of slowness. I then use my both hands to Convert it to the Boots of Speed.


    Kirby, Still on the ship has now seen that all players have stood still, Including Bill Nye. It seems like time has stopped. Kirby then goes to the terminal and contacts Shadrix, "We got a problem."
    "I am kinda in the middle of *grunts* something here!"
    "It's about Bill. He... just stopped. It seems like time has stopped."
    Shadrix pauses and deploys a shield. Asgore jumps in to try to destroy it to no avail. Shadrix then sits down and gives a sigh, "Anything else?"
    "No, sir!"
    "Cool! Well let me-"
    "Wait, I forgot one thing, The machine is now installed. On your command I will activate the machine. I will call back if I found anything."
    "Thanks. Shadrix out."
    Shadrix turns off his shield which only got a dent in it and performs a MEGA PUNCH. This deals 1000 Damage to him. Flowey then summons lots of Friendliness pellets and shoots them at Shadrix. Gaster notices this move and fires a laser towards The pellets, Destroying them. Gaster, however, gets slashed by Chara. His body splits open due to the slash but it doesn't hurt him. Chara looks on with a surprised look as Sans fires 4 Gaster Blasters at Chara, Chara takes the blast and loses 70 HP. The blast continues and goes straight to Flowey who takes 3000 damage. Asgore, after recovering from his punch jumps up and throws his trident as Shadrix. This nails him right on the shoulder and losses 1 HP. Shadrix was pinned down to the floor and can't move. Asgore laughs at him. Gaster then turns his hands blue and crumbles the trident to pieces. Asgore gets angry and creates 2 more tridents. He rushes towards Gaster and proceeds to stab him multiple times. While the jabs only go through him, Gaster can't seem to move or do anything.


    TO BE CONTINUED...


    BATTLE SCHEMATIC

    Scene = Throne Room

    AC
    Shadrix     HP: 99999999999998 ATK: ??? DEF: ??? (Suit set into ATK mode) (Filled with DETERMINATION)
    sans HP: 1 DEF: 1 (Powered by Shadrix's DETERMINATION) (Has a 100% dodge rate) (dodge rate can lower if tired)
    Gh@st3r HP: 666666 ATK: 6666 DEF: 66666 (Can't be harmed by normal means) (Can glitch out the enemy) (Stunned)

    PC
    Chara     HP: 29 ATK: 99 DEF: 99 (Filled with Determination) (Has 7 Butterscotch Pies) (can be revived upon death)
    Flowey HP: 9000 ATK: 31 DEF: 20 (made with Chara's Glitches) (Can trap an entity) (can hide underground)
    Asgore HP: 6000 ATK: 160 DEF: 160 (made with Chara's Glitches) (can stun one entity)

    D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N Integrity status: 0.9999% hehheh
    Click to expand...
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    The Gauntlet of Weakness turns into the Gauntlet of Strength! But it still has its weakness effect, so now its just effectively been neutralized! Same for the boots!

    DanganMachin said:
    1. I use a strong magnet to detach that stupid helmet from my head
    2. I butter my fingers to easily make the ring goes away
    3. I pull out a flamethrower and start going wild on the spiders.
    Click to expand...
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    You realize magnets could be better applied to getting cake quest parts done! Part complete! Now you need to get the IRL Pokemon from Professor Oak.

    The ring slips off your finger right away. Phew!

    Spiders? But there's only one Spider, the inappropriately named Itsy Bitsy Spider! Unless... you did say spiders, plural...

    You spy a small incision in the spider's underbelly! You burn it with the Flamethrower, and it comes apart easily - did someone else already make this incision before? Inside, you can see a way inside the spider's inner body...

    CaptainNZZZ said:
    Boots of Slowness? That certainly won't do, as always I need every action of mine to achieve anything.

    Okay, look at me. Now look away.

    Now back at me. Now to the The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

    *cue a few hundred more of these*

    Now back at me, don't mind the missing Boots of Slowness. Now back to The Itsy Bitsy Spider and its new fashionable pair of boots. Yep, those Boots of Slowness do look much better on The Itsy Bitsy Spider. (x1)

    Sliding across the ground to Ray, Sealed Game Master I tackle Ray as my body bulks up to five times its normal size, bulging muscles covering my body as Ray hits the ground painfully.

    Picking up Ray with my vastly enhanced strength I pose like a baseball pitcher and hurl Ray right into The Itsy Bitsy Spider's face...ouch it looks like Ray's body is now embedded in one of the Spider's eyes. Ray might have to cut himself free when he Unseals, can't stab anyone like that. (x1)

    "It's truly amazing to have you back Temporal Guardian, it's been so long since I've seen you and you've managed to achieve so much in that time. It's so great to see a prosperous entity of mine, I'm honestly at a lost for words. The current circumstances make this reunion limited to a few mere words yet after this we'll do this properly. I know at least Rotaz will be overjoyed to have you back, there's few reasons for joy in this war but let's make sure your return is one of those rare moments."

    "However," I shake my head, "at the moment we must instead focus on compact. Given the current situation I recommend you focus on getting rid of the Sealed Bosses, starting with the most troublesome ones such as the Sealed Snowball and the Sealed Player Thief. Always kill the snowballer and Player Stealing is not something we can afford right now."

    I pause. "Of course only attack if you can do so without compromising the Za Warudo, I won't tarnish your moment of glory especially under these present circumstances."
    Click to expand...
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    The Itsy Bitsy spider loses another attack!

    Sealed Game Master slain!

    The Temporal Guardian nods. Sounds good to him. Player Thief and Sealed Snowball, target locked.

    General_Urist said:
    Right, let's get to work.

    2x I take off the Boots of Slowness and the Ring of Temptation and put them into a large magical cauldron. I then pile the cauldron with a bunch of other nasty stuff: Ghost Peppers, arsenic, muddy stagnant water, durians, surstromming, old gloves, used motor oil, super mario Poison Mushrooms, zonbie flesh, Rafflesias, and other nasty stuff. With a fire roaring under the cauldron I stir and stir and stir until all the nasty stuff, including the Ring and the Boots, has dissolved into a uniform dark-orange icky sloppy gloop.

    1x Now, did you know that spiders don't eat solid food? They inject their prey with stomach acid to pre-digest it into a slop that they then drink. Knowing that, I take out a grappling hook and grapple up to the Itsy Bitsy Spider's head. There, I stick a funnel into its mouth and pour the probably very toxic and most certainly highly-debuffing sloppy gloop I made into the funnel, pouring it into the beast's mouth.

    As for my most hated fictional character, well... I quickly change clothes into a hipster outfit that just screams 'entitled clueless leftist ""intellectual"" person' and look at Go An Na. You want to know who I absolutely LOATH, Goanna? Well I'll tell you. It's Gandalf, that white and/or grey so-called wizard from lord of the rings, that infamous reactionary propaganda. For starters, He claims to act in the service of so-called "maiar" or "gods".[1] Disgusting enough that he claims their existence, even worse is that he uses it as a justification for promotion of genocide. Genocide of the Orcs, I mean, creatures that for no apparent crime other than black wrinkled skin and a preference for quantity over quality in military tactics [2] he makes out to be deserving of extermination. He claims that these massacres are necessary to cleanse (that old excuse for religious massacres) the world of the influence of Morgoth, Melkor, and Sauron [3], other supposedly-divine beings who's crime is going against the desires of their fellows and making the world variant in shape instead of a homogeneous grassland. His crowing sin is when he gathers up a small band of western nobles[4]- yes NOBLES, those maniacs out of touch with the common man- to sneak into Mordor and sabotage their government, destroying any hope the orcs have of avoiding extermination. And did I mention that Gandalf and his band are MASSIVE mary sues, triumphing against enemy armies two hundred times their size simply because the author wants that to happen! [5] He also has an inexplicable desire to drive large arachnids to extinction with the excuse they were creations of this "Morgoth". HOW I LOATH HIM!

    [1] Much like the various lesser and greater gods that have helped us out before the Godmodder killed them off, right?
    [2] Really, the Godmodder's various killbots and such make Tolkien's Orcs looks both friendly and militarily competent.
    [3] the BIG BAD GOD MAN sees these people as inspirations, he's basically them but overclocked.... and Goanna has similarities of it's own.
    [4] Our band of players is just the Fellowship of the Ring except massively jacked up, right?
    [5] What is our kill-death ratio now? fifty-thousand to one?
    [6] Shelob, Ungoliant... the Itsy Bitsy Spider wouldn't look out of place near them.
    GEE I wonder what side Gandalf would be on?
    Click to expand...
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    You put the Boots of Slowness in, but then get distracted before you can add the ring of temptation! Cake Quest part complete! Now you need to get the pokeball from the pokemart!

    Since you had the Boots of Slowness, there were only 2 actions this turn! I should have specified that, I know...

    Gandalf registered as Most Hated character!

    EternalStruggle said:
    ES spends his first action tapping the Ring of Temptation with his other, gauntlet-clad hand. Its spatial position, registered in the Reality Code, is overwritten violently, and so it teleports several hundred kilometres to his left. That's that problem solved.

    Then, he spends both his remaining actions on the same thing, solving Cake Quest permanently. Specifically, they both are attempts at the same method, just in case one gets overwritten to try and solve it the "normal", foolish way. Redundancy ho! If he's lucky, both actions will go through, because you can't be distracted by Cake Quest if you're on Cake Quest, just more efficiently.

    "I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this," ES muttered to himself. "But this calls for my ultimate technique..."

    He looks at the Cake Shop, and notes it as a shop, then quickly reads a microeconomics textbook before confirming the need. "Yes, this calls for capitalism. God help us all."

    He immediately sets to work, and does a census of everyone even remotely alive as well as a survey of all resources and artefacts on the plane, putting them in a database of all possible things that might be involved in the fetch quest. He can do this instantaneously because he doesn't actually have to talk to anyone, unlike doing the fetch quest normally, so he just has to perform a topological analysis with Player Powers. He then finds the local rulers, should there be any, and overthrows them. Monarchy, democracy, theocracy, he doesn't actually care he just overthrows them with instant lightning strikes. More of a subduing than overthrowing, but same deal.

    Then, he organises everyone into a single governmental structure, with a unified monetary system, intra-polity trade, resource extraction, and taxation. To handle the truly immense amount of bureaucracy this entails, he appoints Amelia as Chairman of the Eternal Party ("But I didn't agree to-" "Shhh. No tears, only paperwork.") He also immediately starts off with the taxation and resource extraction based on the survey he'd already did, and starts mining immediately and gets his first taxes. There are some objections, but they are quelled with promises of renewed public safety and a commitment to better living standards for all that the government that didn't exist thirty seconds ago makes. Also quelled by the many police drones ES spawns in, them to.

    After minting some of the new money and having Amelia authorise a stimulus package to get it into circulation, ES walks into the Cake Shop with a handful of golden MineCoins, so named because they're in Minecraft. As in real life, gold is shiny and rare but not very useful in Minecraft, so is ideal for making currency.

    He takes out the coins from his pocket and slams them on the counter. "Your finest cake, please."

    The NPC shook his head. "I am sorry, but I will only exchange it for-"

    "Old Man Jenkins' xylophone, I know." ES leaned forward, expression flat and serious. "Do ya know why money's better? It's because money can be exchanged for goods and services. It has flexibility. In technical terms, we say it 'avoids the double coincidence of wants'. Old Man Jenkins wants something, I'm sure. He can take this money, and then use it to get what he wants. If he wants a good, he can buy it from our Everything Stores." ES pointed at a massive building that had sprouted up opposite the Cake Shop. "If he wants something from someone specific, he can buy it from them and then they can use the money to get whatever they want, because everyone wants something generally speaking. And everyone accepts this currency, there's a crying orphan girl in an office making sure of that. If nothing else, accept the cash for her sake."

    The NPC frowned. "What if Old Man Jenkins wants a dragon slain or something?" He asked.

    ES shrugged. "We have killbots in our Everything Stores, it still works. And if the money changing hands ever drops below a needed threshold, our brave men and women..." He paused. "Drones and woman singular of the Cake Quest Subsidisation Office will be there to boost it back up. Listen, take the cash, buy the xylophone, give the cake. It's that simple."

    He held out his hand. "So do we have a deal?"
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    The Ring of Temptation is teleported far, far away! Now it lies on the ground somewhere, forgotten.

    CAPITALISM!

    For a moment, your improved system seems to solve some of the issues. However, many people are still reluctant to adopt this system of money! That said, about half the people can now fulfill their needs using only MineCoin, and nothing else!

    Parts of Cake Quest divided by 2!

    The_Two_Eternities said:
    1 action: Helmet of Betrayal.
    HELMET OF BETRAYAL
    Code: 
     HELMETOFBETRAYAL
 AABEEEFHLLMORTTY
 METAREBELHAYLOFT
    META REBEL HAYLOFT
    Meta-rebel Hayloft.
    After that little anagram, the helmet is now a hayloft, in rebellion against its former nature. I wonder how the "meta" part will express itself, howev- "OW Why am I wearing a hayloft on my hea- oh. Grr... that was a counter-rebellion right there if I've ever seen one. A meta-rebellion, you might say."

    1 action: I use a shoehorn to slowly... slowly.... slowly... pry the boots off of my feet. Wait, that's only one boot. I pry the other one off... (slightly less) slowly... (slightly less) slowly... done!

    My least favorite fictional character... I would have to say Murphy Law. He's a quasi-noir detective with the morals of Punisher and the ability to turn stories he's involved with into a bad Humphrey Bogart-like fanfic. And you can't defeat him except by deconstructing him in the literary sense. Vaguely like 682, but if 682 was a detective who majored in liberal arts.

    WHY IS MURPHY LAW A TYPEWRITER COMPANY'S BEST FRIEND BECAUSE A PARAGRAPH OR TWO IS TOO LITTLE TO DESCRIBE HIM IN DETAIL, AND HE KEEPS SHOOTING TYPEWRITERS, CREATING DEMAND FOR THEM
    there I typed your stupid antijoke now are you going to stop using me for anagrams
    - a 1937 Olympia Elite typewriter
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    You now have a Meta Rebel Hayloft! Now, you have a 20% chance of doing what you were already going to do! And the boots? They were destroyed when you pried them off. No more bad items for you!

    Murphy Law set as Most Hated character... oh boy...

    Captain.Cat said:
    'Well Buggery.' Is all I can think for a few moments has I look out across the current mess we are in. 'We have to defeat all of these bosses that we had fought earlier, remove all of these items that are placed on us, complete multiple side quests and finally defeat a supposedly unbeatable entity.' I let out a sigh at odds. 'Well I guess it's like they say, The only easy day was yesterday.' With that I prepare to fight.

    Looking down at my hand I look over the ring of temptation and began to ponder how to get it off. 'I don't suppose it could be just as simple as taking it off could it?' I bring my left hand over to the ring and take hold of it and attempt to remove it. 1 tug, 2 tugs, 3 tugs. No dice. 'Nope, Why could it not be simple?' I attempt to see if I can twist it around but the ring remains firmly in place. 'Hmm, what to do, what to do?' I think to myself as I look it over. 'Hmm, Maybe I cou-' Just before I can finish that thought I see a portal open right in front of me. "What the -" "TTTTTHHHHEEEE PRECIOUSSSS!" I am then tackled to the ground by a nearly naked humanoid. "OI GET THE HELL OFF ME!" I deliver punch straight to the chin of the crazed lunatic and send them sprawling to the ground away from me. "TTTTTHHHHHEEEEE PPPPREEECCCIOOUUUSSSSS WWIIILLLL BE MINEEEE!" The humanoid screams out as I start to stand back up. "What the hell are you talking about?" I ask in momentary confusion as to who in the hell was attacking me at this time.

    Instead of answering the humanoid leaps at me again with surprising speed and nearly grapples me again but I manage to dodge out of the way. Reaching down to my belt I take hold of the hilt of my K-bar fighting knife and pull it free from it's sheath, I then bring the knife up to a ready position. "Alright try that again, See what happens!" I say to the humanoid as he gets back up and we began to circle each other. After a few moments of this the humanoid stops and looks to the side and a portal opens, Then it leaps through it and the portal closes. 'Ehhhh, Okay are you one of those pricks that tele-' My thoughts are cut short by the conformation that yes he is indeed one of those pricks that teleports as again a portal opens up right above me and I am tackled again.

    "TTTTTTHHHHEEEE PPPRREECIOOUSSS ISSS MINE!" The Humanoid yells again as we twist and tussle against each other. I manage to get a few good cuts in with my knife against him but it does not seem to faze the bastard as he is dead set on staying on me. Just then I hear the sound of another portal opening and before I realize what is happening me and the humanoid fall through it before it then closing again.

    A few minutes later.

    A portal open up not to far from where me and my attacker where last seen and out from the portal The humanoid leaps through it grasping a bloodied finger with the Ring of Temptation on it. "TTTHHHEEE PPPRREEECIOOUSS! YYOOUR MINE AGAINN!" The humanoid cries out in joy as he pulls the ring of temptation off the severed finger and places the ring of temptation onto his own hand. After that the humanoid just starts jumping up and down while ranting that the ring was his again all the while forgetting that the portal that he came from is yet to close.

    Just as the humanoid is seemly beginning to calm down a shot rings out and a second later the humanoid drops to the ground with a quarter of his head missing. Out from the portal I reemerge, battered, bloodied, scratched all over and missing my ring finger on my right hand where there is a bloodied stump of where the finger once was. All the while holding a 1911 pistol in my left hand.

    I walk over the fallen form of the humanoid lays and stand there for a few moments and I just look exhausted. Finally I rise up my pistol and shoot the body 6 more times, emptying the pistol. I then toss the pistol hard at the now very much dead body for good measure. "And...*Deep breathing* Stay dead!" I then walk away from the corpse and after moving to be a few yards away I seat down and reach down to my belt and pull out my canteen and manage to open it with one hand. Then taking a deep breath I pour some of the water onto my injured right hand to try and wash away some of the blood that covers it. It hurts but it is not unbearable. After that I pull out a small first aid and start painful process cleaning and bandaging my injuries. (3 CP used)
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    You get tempted twice - but on the third try you succeed! The Ring of Temptation is gone, "dealt with" with... whatever THAT was...

    Part complete! Now you need to get the pie from the pie.

    Part complete! Now you need to get the Full Restore from the tall grass.

    Paradoxdragonpaci said:
    (x1)I attempt to tap into the a fraction of the sheer Timelessness outside this Plane..of Infinite Stillness and Invert it to become Infinite Speed which promptly destroy the Boots of Slowness via balancing out it's slowness and thus making it useless and thus dissolving into thin air
    (x1)I engage Deep Meditation using Zen Teachings from the Monks that live on the Hill of Serenity who contemplate and reflect on the nature pf Tranquility and the Paradoxical Union of Quick Actions and Planned Foresight and gained deep understanding and Wisdom on the Philosophical Nature of Reality.I pick up the Helmet while in Zen Mode and simply place it to the side while thinking nothing and thus have nothing for it to latch on,rendering it useless and thus destroying it

    Clearly my most hated Character is...Frisk,look at them,by the Golden Ending they are basically a Mary Sue turning previously vicious enemies into best friends within a short time span,somehow making friends with the entirety of the Underground within such a short amount of time that they never needed a toilet Break,they are ridiculous and a Bad Character and i hate them most absolutely,how can they make friends so easily,thus they are a Mary-Sue
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Boots of Slowness neutralized!

    Helmet of Betrayal... all thoughts of Betrayal are erased from your mind! The Helmet of Betrayal becomes irrelevant! Also, you feel enlightened.

    Frisk set as most hated character! Hmm.

    -----------

    Right, here we go!

    ARBITER ACTION, ACTIVATE!

    Crusher's suggested action was the best! It was:

    "
    I steal the power of Contessa, the master of winning in 1 in a trillion odds, and calculate a simple Path To Victory.

    Calculate Path: Kill the Itsy Bitsy Spider.
    Result: Have all players assault it nonstop for a period of approximately 2844444 rounds.

    Alright, maybe a bit more complex than that.

    Calculate Path: Kill or permanently neutralize the Itsy Bitsy Spider within a period of 1 round
    Result: Calculating...

    Now that Path To Victory has been forced to go all-out, it will project all possible realities that could ever occur from this starting point, searching for one where the Itsy Bitsy Spider was killed or permanently neutralized within a period of one round.

    Now, I know for a fact that there is at least one possible reality where that has occured. Everything that exists has a Critical Soul Weakness, and in at least one reality, someone did a random attack that just happened to be the Itsy Bitsy Spider's Critical Soul Weakness, killing it instantly.

    Once that reality is found, the projections will then shift to show me a way to hit that Critical Soul Weakness with my attack. I follow that Path to Victory, and kill the Itsy Bitsy Spider.

    "

    With Infinite Arbiter Fiat, Path to Victory calculates at the speed of a billion quantum computers! It finally emerges with a 100% correct result!

    Result: Use the Critical Soul Weakness, sp-R@^R&R@*F@J[]]][Q{

    No! GoAnNa interrupted the transmission! Even I can't stop him! But, that first letters, "sp" are definitely correct! Hmm... The Critical Soul Weakness must be an extension of those!

    AG:

    The Temporal Guardian uses his new and cool sword to smash the Sealed Snowball and Sealed Player Thief before they can do anything! They both get taken out!

    Krill13 feels so tempted to do Cake Quest. He feels so tempted, he feels like he could complete 8 parts in one action.

    PG:

    You hear a large amount of tromping in the distance as the Itsy Bitsy Spider easily leaps over the mountain range and lands in front of you! Wow! They came here this fast, all the way from the Far Lands, the other side of the map!

    The Itsy Bitsy Spider doesn't attack this turn, but it gains weak Neutralization Resistance! Every time you neutralize it completely for a turn, it gets harder to do it again!

    The Dagger, Power, and Speed assassins attack the Temporal Guardian in that order, dealing 10,000 damage and eliminating his attack shields!

    The Sealed Zombie bites the Temporal Guardian! But his miniboss tag allows him to resist!

    The Sealed Lightshard attacks him as well, dealing 50,000 more damage!

    The Sealed Throne has nothing to levitate...

    The Sealed Summonspitter summons a Go An Na fanboy!

    Ray is now the UNSEALED GAME MASTER! He's gained back his 5 attacks! Put him in the ground quickly or he'll tear right through the Temporal Guardian's HP! He isn't bothering with questions anymore!

    The Snowball unseals to the UNSEALED SNOWBALL!

    The Player Thief becomes the UNSEALED PLAYER THIEF! This boss also should be killed sooner and not later!

    N:

    The Defender Captain approaches Eternalstruggle, opens his hand, and tosses something at him! Eternalstruggle catches it. It appears to be a can of Spider-B-Gone.

    Defender Captain: There is only thing that can destroy the Itsy Bitsy Spider, and that's this Spider-B-Gone. Together, we spent this turn making it perfect.

    Defender Captain: Eternalstruggle! Take this can, and invade the inside of the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Within, you'll find the Spidery Star. One spray of this Spider-B-Gone, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider will die.

    Defender Captain: I'd suggest taking about other Players with you, to finish as fast as possible!

    Eternalstruggle turns around the can in his hand. It feels very light. He looks towards the incision that Dangan_Machin just flamed open - an opportune point for entry. Hmm.

    -------------

    MOST HATED CHARACTER REGISTRATION:
    Alastair Dragovich: Scrappy Do
    Arsenical:
    Bill Nye:
    Captain.cat:
    CaptainNZZZ:
    Cephalos Jr.:
    Crusher48:
    Dangan_Machin:
    Daskter: Raynor's Raiders
    Dragon of Hope?!?:
    Eevee Shadow Bacon:
    Ender_Smirk:
    EternalStruggle:
    FlamingFlapjacks: Old Man Henderson
    General_Urist: Gandalf
    GoldHero101:
    Joebobobob: Pionoplayer from DLE
    Karpinsky:
    Krill13:
    Paradoxdragonpaci: Frisk
    Pionoplayer: The Great Destroyer
    Ranger_Strider_: Mary Sue Naruto
    That-Random-Guy: Dio
    The_Quiet_Watcher:
    The_Nonexistent_Tazz:
    The_Two_Eternities: Murphy Law
    The Ego: DLE: JOEbob
    Vylad: Momonga
    Winkins: Captain Hook

    Reminder: You need to vote for a most hated character by the end of next turn! If you don't, Go An Na will summon one for you (until the number of most hated characters reaches 20), and you don't want that!

    MINECRAFT VALLEY:

    ITINERARY:
    -Destroy the Tower to Win the Sidequest you're currently in!
    -Destroy the Itsy Bitsy Spider!
    -Find a way to finish Cake Quest!
    -Kill every Sealed Boss!
    -Remove ALL the harmful items from everybody's inventory!
    -Defeat the League of Most Hated Fictional Characters! After they enter the field next turn!
    -Suggest a good action for the Arbiter Action!

    Arbiter Power: Ready next turn!


    [PG]The Itsy Bitsy Spider: 888,888,868,888/888,888,888,888 HP, 88,888,888 x 85A (Boss)(Massive)(angry at FlamingFlapjacks)(weak neutralization resistance)(has necklace of death x 2 - dies x 2 every third turn?)
    Incision leading inside underbelly (???)

    [PG]Sealed Zombie: 20,000/20,000 HP, 0 x 2A (Boss)

    [PG]Unsealed Snowball: 130,000/130,000 HP, 9000A, 44 Power (Abilities: Resistance(-1000 all damage), HP + 10000, Attack + 2000, Flame Immunity)(Boss)

    [PG]Sealed Assassin - Dagger: 50,000/50,000 HP, 7,000A, Special: Penetrating Strike(ready in 3!)(Poison strike)
    Sealed Assassin - Power: 65,000/65,000 HP, 20,000A (Boss)
    Sealed Assassin - Speed: 40,000/40,000 HP, 5,000 x 2A (Boss)

    [PG]Unsealed Player Thief: 250,000/250,000 HP, 15,000A + x2 Player Steal (Boss)(-3,000 damage from all attacks)(+30,000 HP every turn)

    [PG]Sealed Lightshard: 170,000/200,000 HP, 25,000 x 2A, Specials: Glasswall: 1/1 (Boss)

    [PG]Ray, Unsealed Game Master: 200,000/200,000 HP, 999,999 x 5A (Boss)(135% dodge rate)(150% accuracy)

    [PG]Sealed Throne: 500,000/500,000 HP, Levitatex2!A (Boss)

    [PG]Sealed Summonspitter: 300,000/300,000 HP, Summon!A (Boss)

    [PG]Go An Na fanboy: 50,000 HP, 30,000A

    [PG]NPC: Managing Cake Quest! 499,990 parts remaining! (Invincible)

    [AG - CaptainNZZZ]Temporal Guardian: 5,940,000/6,000,000 HP, 500,000 x 2A, Special: Za Warudo: In use! (-10,000 damage from all attacks)(20% dodge rate)(+200,000 HP per turn)(miniboss)(1 teleport charm)

    [N]Defender Captain: 20/20 HP
    [N]Defender A: 20/20 HP
    [N]Defender B: 20/20 HP
    [N]Defender C: 20/20 HP
    [N]Defender D: 20/20 HP
    [N]Defender E: 20/20 HP

    [N]The Tower: 500,000 HP

    Curse of No Charging

    PLAYERS:
    Alastair Dragovich: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)(has Ring of Temptation x 2 - currently 100% susceptible to Cake Quest)
    Arsenical: 20/20 HP (has Necklace of death - instantly kills holder on sidequest updates evenly divisible by 3)
    Bill Nye: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet)(has boots)
    Captain.cat: 20/20 HP (has Helmet of Betrayal - actions have a 20% chance to hurt allies)
    CaptainNZZZ: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)
    Cephalos Jr.: 20/20 HP (has boots of slowness, only gets 2 actions per turn)(has Helmet of Betrayal - actions have a 20% chance to hurt allies)
    Crusher48: 15/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)
    Dangan_Machin: 20/20 HP (has Helmet of Betrayal - actions have a 20% chance to hurt allies)
    Daskter: 20/20 HP (has Necklace of death - instantly kills holder on sidequest updates evenly divisible by 3)
    Dragon of Hope?!?: 20/20 HP(has boots of slowness, only gets 2 actions per turn)(has Helmet of Betrayal - actions have a 20% chance to hurt allies)
    Eevee Shadow Bacon: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)(has boots of slowness, only gets 2 actions per turn)
    Ender_Smirk: 17/20 HP
    EternalStruggle: 20/20 HP (has can of Spider-B-Gone) (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)
    FlamingFlapjacks: 20/20 HP(has Helmet of Betrayal - actions have a 20% chance to hurt allies)
    General_Urist: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)(has boots of slowness, only gets 2 actions per turn)
    GoldHero101: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)
    Joebobobob: 20/20 HP
    Karpinsky: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)(has boots of slowness, only gets 2 actions per turn)
    Krill13: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation x 5 - currently 800% susceptible to Cake Quest)
    Paradoxdragonpaci: 20/20 HP
    Pionoplayer: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)
    Ranger_Strider_: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)
    That-Random-Guy: 17/20 HP
    The_Quiet_Watcher: 20/20 HP
    The_Nonexistent_Tazz: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)(has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)
    The_Two_Eternities: 20/20 HP
    The Ego: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)
    Vylad: 20/25 HP (has Necklace of death - instantly kills holder on sidequest updates evenly divisible by 3)
    Winkins: 20/20 HP

    Current Player Power: 50,000
     
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  • Threadmarks
    • 1) I use telekinesis to steal some of Rays daggers, forcing him to find new ones. also, I make sure to keep the daggers (short term only, of course)
    2) I do the see-the-past-of-the-tower thing that failed because of cakequest taking my action.
    3) I take Karp's ring of temptation and force Ray to wear it. Since it's not an attack, he can't dodge! Now that he super-duper wants the cake, I tell him I'll make sure he can't get the cake unless he tells me the proper tools to make Multiplier Orbs with Charmzard energy! Since he wants Cake so much, even though he's not sure I can stop him from getting the Cake, it's still worth it to him due to the possibility. This forces him to tell me everything in intense detail.
    As a side effect, Ray might spend his actions helping Cakequest! Since this has a good chance of boosting cakequest, it's immune to cakequest! As Such, I do this action if Tempted by Cakequest in any of the previous actions!
     
    Focused Action: Time to make this sidequest stay a sidequest. I polymorph my Ring of Temptation into a fake Cake and distribute it, hopefully convincing everyone that they already got the cake and don't need the actual cake.
     
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    1. I go searching in the Tall Grass for a full restore. I find a deku merchant there and trade him my fancy ring for the full restore.
    2. I jump onto Ray, and when he moves to attack, drag his arm so he strikes at the unsealed Player Thief. Since Ray is 150% accurate he will certainly hit the target.
    3. I attempt to pry a ring of temptation off of alastair and slam it onto one of Ray's fingers. YOU! Give me that.... AND YOU! STOP STRUGGLING AND LET ME PUT THIS ON YOU!!!
     
    3 actions: I throw the Unsealed Snowball into Lake Doom. It's like Mount Doom, but it's a temperate lake instead of a volcano mountain. It's just as deadly to the Unsealed Snowball, though, since in Minecraft, snow is dissolved by water.
     
    Most hated character : Misaka Mikoto from A certain scientific railgun

    Reason : She is a tsundere and I hate tsunderes

    1. politely ask the Go An na fanboy if I can take out a bit of his HP
    2. I distract the spider with my amazing D A N C I N G S K I L L Z.
    3. I cut Arsenical's necklace with a chainsaw ( This is safe, right ?)
     
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    I walk for hours. Through sand and mud. Eventually, the boots get so worn down that they need to be replaced.

    I forgot to say who my most hated character is, but that is one of the UEF Commanders. Seriously, the technology is so broken, and they are constantly fighting to save humans, by killing invaders from other dimensions who want to wipe out humans. Especially since they allied with previous enemies to save them!
     
    Hmmm let's see, a single attack shield costs 1 CP. A single attack blocker costs 1 CP. A 1:1 ratio meaning an inverted attack redirector costs 2 CPs as an attack redirector costs 2 CPs.

    However first, Ray's status effect resistances/immunities are disrupted by quirky radiation I just imbued him. Dodge rate you say? Silly goose, the radiation has healing properties and healing can't be dodged! It'd make Nega-HP entities nigh unbeatable after all and as we all know, things just don't work out that way. (x1)

    Then I stealthily apply an inverted attack redirector onto Ray, using my vast skill in placing these kinds of things to avoid notice. Enjoy when your first attack is reflected back into you Ray! It's a shame your Attack and accuracy surpass your defenses. (x2)

    I direct the Temporal Guardian to finish off the Unsealed Snowball and the Unsealed Player Thief, we need to start thinning the horde! (Or start working down from the Sealed Assassin - Dagger in the Assassin section if one or both of those Unsealed Entities are dead)

    My most hated fictional character? The Ebon Dragon, the Shadow of All Things. You want to know why? They're truly the embodiment of stupidity in terms of betrayal. Not just backstabbing your allies, not just betraying for the sake of betrayal, I'm talking so treacherous by nature his very component souls backstab him when his long awaited escape and triumph is within reach. Talk about chronic backstabbing!
     
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    Actions 1+2: I take the gauntlet of weakness and turn it into a rocket gauntlet which shoots up off into the sky, then abruply lands on the Sealed Zombie and explodes, killing it.

    Action 3: I steal the 0 out of the cake quest counter, greatly reducing the number of steps left.
     
    Ranger_Strider_ said:
    1. I go searching in the Tall Grass for a full restore. I find a deku merchant there and trade him my fancy ring for the full restore.
    2. I jump onto Ray, and when he moves to attack, drag his arm so he strikes at the unsealed Player Thief. Since Ray is 150% accurate he will certainly hit the target.
    3. I attempt to pry a ring of temptation off of alastair and slam it onto one of Ray's fingers. YOU! Give me that.... AND YOU! STOP STRUGGLING AND LET ME PUT THIS ON YOU!!!
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Alastair's free action is spent letting Arsenical take his ring because if the Ring is given to Ray, then Ray shall complete CakeQuest. There is no point in resisting and thus it is taken with consent.

    With Alastair's First Action, he uses his Psychology Doctorate to help convince the NPC managing CakeQuest that Piono's removal of the zero is supported in its internal logic since, coincidentally, that many Quests were already repeats of previous sections and the mark of a good sidequest is not overstaying its welcome, so the repeat steps are rolled into each other.

    Alastair then contemplates things a bit more, then his eyes widen. They've completed the Pokemon section of the CakeQuest and cut the intended CakeQuest count in half! That means Alastair just needs to teleport himself to the point that Minecraft map algorithms break down completely - The Far Lands! Since he needed to go there explicitly for the next part of Cake Quest anyway, he isn't tempted to do the cake Quest more directly! In fact, the shenanigan involves him completing said next step! In a certain fashion.

    You see, the next step involves getting the Void Block from the Far Lands, but due to the sequence of events and the general fuckery of the Far Lands, it's possible, if one does extreme platfomer hopscotch and does extreme split second precision, to trick the Event Flag into giving them the Secret of the Void instead, which was a step far, far later in the Quest. if done correctly, then doing extreme pixel perfect hops back to the main Questing area, the Secret of the Void can be immediately traded to the displaced Destroy the Godmodder Player NPC and the Quest continues as normal!

    Naturally, it's super tricky, but Alastair had practiced lots of speedrunning while studying his for his Psychology Doctorate, so it's only a matter of keeping his focus. And since this will get him the Cake that much faster, the Ring of Temptation hones his focus to improve his skill and get that CAKE!

    With the Secret of the Void traded, the exploit is finished! It also just so happens that this also doesn't violate the internal story logic of the Quest, meaning that the shenanigans are secured properly! His second Action is a success!

    For his third shenanigan... Alastair just goes back to a previous step in the CakeQuest and asks to borrow the How to Solve Cakequest instantly manual from whoever or whatever now has it. Alastair reads it for a bit, thennotes that the successful exploit locked them out of the proffered solution. However, th instant solving of the CakeQuest solution does give him an idea.

    Alastair bakes an exact replica of the utterly tempting Cake! He takes a slice for himself and then uses the Rest of the Cake to solve several key steps of the CakeQuest at once, including the CakeQuest itself if possible!
     
    ES frowns, and looks between the Defender Captain and Ray. He grimaced, because first of all he was all too aware of how backstab-happy NPCs tended to be, and also because Ray seemed to be getting on mostly fine. "We need to seriously deal with that man. Get on it, folks."

    He prays this works, he'll check the can with the Arbiter Favouritism next turn to figure out if it does, and teleports over to the Incision. He spends one action transmuting himself to lightning once more, in order to leave the Gauntlet of Weakness lying on the ground, and then spends the next two actions punching inside the Spider with his fast and potent form before changing back and preparing to move or fight his way to the Spidery Star, can of Spider-B-Gone in hand and carefully held defensively so it would not be lost.

    For his most hated character, it has to be Starscream from Transformers. Completely useless, but somehow second in command of the Decepticons. Constantly backstabs the villains, but never dies. Not to say he never get comeuppance, because he gets beaten up constantly. Apparently Megatron once said keeping Starscream around keeps his skills sharp, but really? You can keep your skills sharp from Starscream? He is pretty dangerous in a fight, being a laser cannon armed giant robot that can turn into a jet, but he's likely to backstab you the first chance he gets anyway.

    To summarise, weak and whiny, backstab happy, but somehow second in command of his faction. It's dumb and he loathes him.
     
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    x1. I proceed to turn the helmet of betrayal into a very nice Tophat. as we all know, tophats are neat, and in fact, are so neat, that they don't have any negative effects. In other words, I'm now wearing the Tophat of No Betrayal.
    x2 I channel the amazing powers of tophats being bigger on the inside, as all magicians prove, to shove as many items as I can into the tophat, grabbing tons of the bad items! Then, I enchant them all with a curse of binding, and forcibly make the Spider equip them all!
    then I run around in a circle panicking because OH GOD THE GIANT SPIDER IS MAD AT MEEEE
     
    The quiet watcher begins pulling some ridiculous shenanigans to handle the giant clusterfuck they were now stuck in.

    He starts with opening a giant bundle of dimensional doorways close together, before throwing the unsealed Gamesmaster through its non-portal side. As there is no way to prevent the cutting effect of mono-molecular lines except by not being in the way of said lines, he gets shredded brutally.

    Then, he initiates portal shenanigans to launch a random rock at ridiculously overpowered speeds, impacting the Itsy-bitsy spider hard enough to spread cracks across all of its body.

    Finally, he goes off and hires five hundred trustworthy NPCs to handle the Cake quest in his stead, with all that money he must have had as a player.

    Now, for the quiet watcher's most hated fictional character. That honor goes to Wesley Crusher, the most annoying Mary Sue in canon star trek primarily due to being a whiny young kid that could seemingly out-think some of the best scientists and engineers star-fleet had to offer.
     
    "Alright, Guys... Let's do this!"
    "TAGTEAM!"

    Action 1-3: All of the A.I's converge into one being. Bill's eyes are glowing a rainbow color. Bill floats over to the Sealed Lightshard and proceeds to Throw knives, fire guns, Kicking them with the ballet shoes, Burning them with a frying pan, reading words that actually hurt it, and having a blue aura crushing it from the inside. Finally, All of the weapons convert into a giant hammer which smashes into the Sealed Lightshard. After that attack, Bill floats down and sits down to have a breather.


    Shadrix sees what Asgore is doing and Decides to help. Only to have Flowey and Chara jump in front of him and attack him. Flowey fires pellets and Chara slashes at Shadrix. He dodges all but the one slash. He takes 99999 Damage. Shadrix grunts in pain and puts his hand over his chest. He fires missiles out of his back and flies backward. Flowey goes underground to escape the attack. Chara smiles and jumps towards Shadrix cutting up the missiles that were coming towards it. Shadrix takes out his saber-sword from his back and clashes with Chara. While Chara and Flowey were distracted, Sans fires a Gaster blaster at Asgore which takes away 1000 Hp and pushes him away from Gaster. Gaster and Sans see Chara and Shadrix clashing with each other while Flowey comes out of the ground and prepares to fire more pellets at Shadrix. Sans and Gaster rush in and they both fire lasers at Flowey. Flowey sees the laser but didn't have enough time to dodge. This caused him to take the full brunt of the blast which took out 8000 HP. Flowey goes underground to hide. Sans makes Chara's soul blue and throws it on the ground, dealing 9 HP. Shadrix takes this opportunity and thrusts his sword through Chara which causes 19 HP of damage. Chara was about to eat another Pie but Sans throws a bone towards Chara and goes right through his soul. Chara's soul breaks apart and shatters. Gaster, on the other hand, had enough of Asgore and uses all of his hands to create a deadly laser that completely destroys Asgore. Asgore fades away in glitches.

    Only Flowey was left... or was he?


    BATTLE SCHEMATIC

    Scene = Throne Room

    AC
    Shadrix     HP: 99999999899999 ATK: ??? DEF: ??? (Suit set into ATK mode) (Filled with DETERMINATION)
    sans HP: 1 DEF: 1 (Powered by Shadrix's DETERMINATION) (Has a 100% dodge rate) (dodge rate can lower if tired)
    Gh@st3r HP: 666666 ATK: 6666 DEF: 66666 (Can't be harmed by normal means) (Can glitch out the enemy) (Stunned)

    PC
    Chara     HP: 0? ATK: 99 DEF: 99 (Filled with Determination) (Has 7 Butterscotch Pies) (can be revived upon death)
    Flowey HP: 1000 ATK: 31 DEF: 20 (made with Chara's Glitches) (Can trap an entity) (can hide underground)

    D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N Integrity status: 9.9999% hehhehhehhe
     
    I target Metal Face as my most hated character. "You're going down... once I get back out. "

    3 ACTION FOCUS - Tear: I tear up my last item, and use it to make progress on Cakequest.
     
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