Defeat The Godmodder

[Karpinskaya]

FOCUS; asking for Arbiter action

Ray is currently the second-most dangerous entity on the field, but I have an idea to deal with him. Moniker, I need you to slow him down so he can't just dodge everything. Even if you can only do it for one turn, that'll be enough for us to end him.

If Moniker manages to slow down Ray, I unload everything I've got onto him. I walk up to Ray (but since he's slowed down, he sees it like a flash-step), then start pummeling him. I punch him into the ground until his face is practically buried. Then I lift him up and throw him into the air before taking out a Plasma Cannon and blasting him with it. Then I switch to a cold-gun and freeze what's left of Ray in ice before shattering it with a blow from a Giant Hammer.

 

[EternalStruggle]

ES suggests the the Arbiter Power is used on his action this turn.

"Moniker, here my plea!" ES raises the Spider-B-Gone to the sky, and it is sealed within an orb of pure light, surrounded by runic circles. Streams of data peal off the blinding sphere as it is analysed with every measure, both ordinary and esoteric. Its future and past are seen, chemical composition laid bare, and narrative significant unravelled. "Tell me, will this device work to slay the spider, or will it simply doom us to a worse fate? Is this another example of NPC betrayal, or have we been given a gift to use justly, effectively, and truly?"

 

[The_Two_Eternities]

3 actions: I bribe Field Marshal George Van Demon to fire General Georg Von Damon, since their names are way too similar and things could get very confusing in a situation with lots of pressure. Stripped of his generalship and in disgrace, Von Damon flees the battlefield and does not return.

 

[Ender_Smirk]

The Heir chuckles at the Spider's fear. He then jumps straight through the hole in the spider's abdomen, joining EternalStruggle in the beast. He sets ablaze the web, using a fire charge he made from materials obtained in the nether battle, and throws a fire resistance potion on himself and EternalStruggle, although the spiders are less fortunate. He then adds a lava bucket to complete the look. Neither the spiders, nor the web seem like they will favor this action. Plus, since both players are near the center of the lava, the spiders can't reach them as well, lowering attack accuracy for the little pests.

 

[The quiet watcher]

The quiet watcher is annoyed at how the Cake quest had somehow taken over part of his action, despite how he didn't have any items that would have effected him in such a manner. Clearly the quest had some kind of in-built hypnosis effect. However, he didn't actually have all that much time to dwell on it, as the league of most hated fictional characters needed to die.

He forms an infinite bandoleer of TNT, and starts tossing lit sticks into the group of enemy characters to start killing them. He also tosses more at every hostile mob nearby, as explosives make every day better. This is especially true for insane teleporting maniacs, as they tend to run right into the blasts.

 

[DanganMachin]

1. I try to convice Misaka Mikoto to join our side by confronting her and refusing to fight.
2. To prove my determination, I will keep doing this over and over until I convince her.
3. Repeat

 

[Daskter]

3x getting myself a flamethrow I reinfroce EternalStruggle by burning the Webs. Burn the spiders! Burn them allll.

 

[JOEbobobob]

1 + 2: I respawn
only action this round: I give the temporal guardian a 10-hat hatstack, containing 10 hats which raise poison resistance! with 20% resistance appiece, this makes the temporal guardian 200% resistant to poison! Since they're more then immune, they heal from poison while the Hatstack's intact. Then I poison them, a little. If it does, in fact, heal them, I take about 1/10 of an atom of poison from Ray's daggers and (if the guardian consents) apply it to them, healing them more! I continue applying the poison afterwards at a steady rate, until I run out or it stops healing. The slow speed is so I can stop if the guardian takes damage: If Go An Na interferes, I wouldn't want to kill the Guardian (or damage it) by accident!

[0] I proceed to get an idea. It might be a bit of a gamble, but if Go An Na did have any more tricks up his sleeve and is not-terrible at tactics, then any potential enraged reactions can only be beneficial. This text Transparent in case Go An Na can see the terminal. also, any attempts by him to get more information will Also be beneficial, since they would waste his power(however much he has) on non-winning aims.
"Go An Na, how's Pricey12345 nowadays?"
"Actually, I know of someone who went through a similar situation to what I suspect happened to him... though not so extreme i suppose"

 

[Ranger_Strider_]

I'll second slowing Ray! Do it Moniker!
1. I levitate the area Ray is in. 100 square miles near Ray. He must be dragged up by this!
2. Into the incision! I take out a fireman's hose and spray the webs.
3. I then begin electrocuting the wet monsters.

 

[GoldHero101]

Leo: We believe in you man! YOU'LL GET OUT!
Thank you!

3 ACTION FOCUS - FOCUS RAY: Pulling out a literal Ray Gun (a gun, made of Ray) I tell Moniker to help me use this to aim Ray's attention towards the spider instead of us. That way, we kill two birds with one stone. If not... I'll just fire the Ray Gun at the spider anyways.

 

[That-Random-Guy]

2 Actions

I attack the Itsy Bitsy Spider with a Spider Spout, like a waterspout but with spiders.

1 Action

I tempt the Ebon Dragon with the Cake, so as to improve the chances of him switching to our side. (and maybe even staying a little longer)

 

[Cephalos Jr.]

Free Action: I displace some gestures by means of space-warping to ask the Darkshard why it's not coming out.
One of my Actions, whichever is the first to not get eaten by Cake Quest, Third Uneaten Action if possible: I Postselected Spacewarp Ray. This reduces his dodge rate in an undodgeable manner.
Second Uneaten Action: I go inside The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

 

[CaptainNZZZ]

With the third action, you try to put an inverted attack redirector on Ray. But of course, such an item would be extremely OP. The whole point of attack redirectors is that the enemies can avoid taking damage! But with an inverted attack redirector...

However, you do discover a new recipe that might cost 2 actions: An attack randomizer! When placed on an enemy, its attack will hit a random thing, friend or foe!

Click to shrink...

A handy recipe for later, not currently though. I can just see it now, applying this and cue the strongest Sealed Bosses getting Unsealed.

Ray, the Unsealed Game Master, attacks the Temporal Guardian twice, and spends his other actions looking for his missing daggers and such! 1,980,000 damage to the Temporal Guardian! He cries out to attack the Unsealed Game Master - its his current greatest threat, and the Temporal Guardian can't kill him thanks to his dodge rate!

Click to shrink...

"Indeed, Ray is a major issue who needs to die quickly. You're authorized to attack Ray as soon as you can reliably do so, the moment that dodge rate fails kill that dagger wielding man. Otherwise keep one shotting the fodder Sealed Bosses and the strongest League of Most Hated Fictional Characters, we need to keep ahead with the healing-damage ratio."

Then I give the Temporal Guardian a shot of pure BADASS and ACCURACY, temporarily amplifying the Temporal Guardian's accuracy for this turn. If the debuffs other Players are trying work out then hopefully Ray will be no more. (x1)

I also give the Temporal Guardian a necklace of spatial warping, adding an unexpected additional to their powerset in terms of survival. Upon activation complex spatial manipulation will take place, both making things look strange and saving the Temporal Guardian from a single fatal blow. After all, hard to hit something when they're suddenly behind you, to the left, and the path of an attack literally curves away from them. Hmmm, I really should get around to creating my spatial manipulator entity. (x2)

 

[Krill13]

Simply doing Cake Quest just ain't doing it for Eyowe anymore. Now, it's not that he's getting bored of doing Cake Quest or anything, it's just that he knows he can do more. Or maybe...he can be more.

What better way to show his dedication to Cake Quest than BECOMING CAKE QUEST HIMSELF?! By that I mean he's assimilating the entirety of Cake Quest into himself, taking over all that is Cake Quest, from the NPCs to the items to the merchandises and all that. Eyowe is Cake Quest, and Cake Quest is he.

 

[WHM Sukamia]

Using a free action, I challenge Old Man Jenkins to a duel for the Cake!

Using my 3 actions (finally!) I summon my own spiders to attack the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Or at least support EternalStruggle.

 

[Alastair Dragovich]

In order to solve CakeQuest once and for all, Alistair proceeds to map out everything from start to finish, politely borrowing Eyowe's CakeQuest memorabilia and using the many references and sequences of events to map every part of the fetch quest. In doing so, he doubles the effectiveness of all actions being used on CakeQuest specifically because the information improves travel efficiency!

Next, he assists Eyowe in his takeover of CakeQuest by promoting it! Alistair promotes CakeQuest to everyone super hard, making them susceptible to the same effects as the Players! This means that, fortunately, all of our enemies are now vulnerable to uncontrollably being co-opted into CakeQuest even without those Rings of Temptation!

Lastly, Alistair points out that the Cake, aside from being special, has no defined size. Since the crowd of Players is arbitrary and hypothetically infinite, then so too is the size of the Cake. Furthermore, Alistair points out, since the Cake is thought to be delicious by all, its flavor must be variable, meaning that it becomes the flavor of whoever is currently eating it! Alistair explains this all to the Itsy Bitsy Spider to reassure it that all of its component spiders can have the cake they desire.

This is done to double the chances of the Itsy Bitsy Spider enemy to chase down that Cake. And also done by Alistair to low key guess the secret gimmick of the Itsy Bitsy Spider.

 

[pionoplayer]

Action:
I throw up a bunch of badly mastered games, causing Ray to flip out and hastily begin repairing them. This doesn't actually hurt him but it distracts him a bunch.

x2 action; ask for Arbiter help:
I look at the Sealed Zombie. Since it's by far the weakest of the current sealed boss enemies, it is well within range of doing something screwy...
I bribe the Sealed Zombie with an unending supply of brains. This causes the Sealed Zombie to change sides.
Then, because the Unsealed Game Master is the smartest enemy on the field, the Zombie goes for him. Because of the previous distraction, he totally missed the Sealed Zombie changing sides and doesn't realize that it's an attack he needs to dodge until its too late and he's already been zombified!

Speaking of which I seem to recall that the side owning the Sealed/Unsealed Zombie by default controls all zombified entities...

 

[Paradoxdragonpaci]

(x2) I heal up the Temporal Guardian by Drawing on the Lifeforce of Ray,Unsealed Game Master,if Ray is already dead then the Healing comes from me creating some Green Mana and using it

(X1) Cake Quest Action:I create my First Draft for a Treaty of Economics,drawing on my Enlightenment and various teachings and submit it to my helpful Clones who are still here after the Multi-Questing who begin refining the Treaty and implementing it's most useful parts straight away

 

[General_Urist]

I use two actions to revive as is legally obligatory.

With my last action I take off the Ring of Temptation, and I pull out a forge hammer. I spend a few moments beating at the ring until it becomes a flat disc, creating the Coin of Temptation! Of course it's legal tender, why do you ask? I promptly go off to the nearest item shop and exchange the tempting coin for the next item needed to the cake quest. A fair trade, I'm certain.

 

[Winkins]

(Action 1 & 2)
Blinking the odd lights away, I groggily get up from my downed state to shake myself fresh to get through this sidequest.

(Action 3!)
Noticing the Level 5 Railgun, I squee inside as I read both magic and science side light novels she was from! In fact, she is one of my most loved characters aside from the protagonist from the series!

In fact... from what I see using my extensive knowledge of the Toaru Majustsu No Index (A Certain Magical Index) series, I easily determine that this Misaka had finished the 1st Novel and into the 2nd Novel of the New Testament series where she starts thinking about the Spiky Haired Boy which she Definitely Does Not (Cough cough, Lol, Cough cough) have a crush on which had been developing throughout the Old Testament. Said boy was said to be MIA after the conclusion of WW3. Upon deeper inspection on how she's acting, I conclude that she's been bribed the safety of the boy as I recall that she was rather desperate at the time.

So with all this information in mind, I craft a scheme to get her out of the field immediately using my knowledge on her and summoned the Dense, unlucky, and frozen popsicle Kamijou Touma who had fallen into the Arctic sea after dealing with the instigator of the WW3.

Just as I summon him, I quickly break him out of the ice and awaken him. After that, I start feeling his arm containing one of the factors that makes him the main character of his series start erasing my summoning Player energy binding here and quickly explain how Misaka was forcibly summoned here and can be unsummoned as she most likely influenced by a supernatural mean and can be dispelled by his arm containing Imagine Breaker.

Of course, being the Good Guy and a large person of admiration and love interest to Misaka was quickly noticed by Misaka as in her time, he was MIA after the conclusion of WW3 in her world. Being the slightly tomboyish girl that Misaka is, she quickly confronted the spiky-haired boy and make their reunion as he explains that he can cut break the tie that's binding here due to the contract which is more than likely be counted as magical which fall in the category of being supernatural, thus susceptible to his arm's effect.

Seeing as the boy is safe, her Tsundere scale weights in the dere side and quickly trust. Grasping the boy's right hand, the sound of breaking glass signifies the hold on Misaka breaks and she disappears back to her world, and just in time as well as Kamijou's arm finally erased my player energy binding him here and he disappears as well to his world and be the big damn hero.

With a happy sigh, I take some time to re-read through the series as I wait for the turn to end and wait for the translation team to finish up translating the rest of vol.22 New Testament.

(Toaru Fanboy)

 

[Captain.Cat]

First I'll spend 2 CP to re-spawn. Second I'll back up Daskter by giving his attack with a flamethower a bit of extra energy so it can better kill the spiders (1 CP).

 

[AnyaOfFlame]

Action One: I summon a cake-hunting guide for dummy's. (-1)

Action Two: I begin to complete the Cake Quest, and of course it ends with a simple thing. (-1)

Action Three: I summon another instance of SCP-871. (-1)

 

[Moniker]

Action 1-3: I hire some people who's only job is to "Destroy The Sealed Lightshard." After an epic battle with high jinx and low jinks and lots of explosions, They leave with the pay.

STORY CONTINUES NEXT POST! NEED TO PLAN OUT THE STORY.

Click to shrink...

Sealed Lightshard destroyed! Uh oh...

Arbiter Action Suggestion: Drop a giant glass over the Itsy Bitsy Spider, preventing it from attacking.

This cake quest is pissing me off. We shouldn't be forced to complete it, it's pointless. Time to destroy it.

Focused Action: Alright, time for drastic measures. Cake Quest is so powerful, I'll need to obliterate the very concept of Cake to stop it. And I don't have the power for that.

However, I don't need to obliterate Cake from reality. I just need to obliterate it from everyone's minds. Or, failing that, make them unable to recognize the Cake as a seductive source.

Omega, initiate Fractal Defense Pattern A, followed by Mental Conception Obliteration: Cake.

Fractal Defense Pattern A will likely result in heavy energy expenditure, enough to cause backlash in a few rounds. Following that with a mental rewrite..,

We aren't running under normal backlash rules. Player Power takes care of most of that. Otherwise, we would have had to take a break ten rounds ago.

Understood.

Generating Barrier-type daemon personality shards. One core personality generated for each Player currently present on the field. Each core personality has been given sufficient energy buffer to generate one hundred mental barrier constructs.

Opening widespread telepathic network. Distributing daemon personality shards to all Players.

Anyone with extremely high mental awareness may now notice a personality fragment taking nest in their brain. For anyone else, well, there's now an additional personality shard resting in your mind. Don't worry, it won't influence your actions in any way, it's only there to defend against outside threats.

Barrier shards are now generating anti-infohazard countermeasure walls. Disruptive mental effects will be contained by mental barrier constructs.

Now, every time the Cake would tempt someone to ignore their normal course of action to complete a part of the near-infinite quest, the temptation effect will be caught by one of the mental barrier constructs. That mental barrier construct will then be heavily inspired to attempt to complete the fetch quest, but since it's just a mental barrier construct with no authority over the body, it won't be able to do anything. It won't even be able to reach the host's mind, due to the fact that uncorrupted mental barrier constructs will work together to suppress the corrupted mental barrier constructs.

First line of defense is under serious pressure, and will not hold for long. More time is necessary for phase 2. Recommend disrupting path of infohazard distribution.

The Cake's Temptation appears to be partially distributed among a memetic vector. However, it seems that a massive chunk of that is actually from its smell.

I surround the Cake with a barrier that blocks anything larger than an oxygen atom, trapping the particles that transmit the smell of the cake inside. That weakens its temptation effect enough for the final phase to be executed.

Problem: some individuals wish to engage with Cake Quest for strategic reasons, as their primary intention. Mental Conceptual Deletion: Cake would interfere with those actions, but if they're left out, they could counter-spread the effect.

That's a problem. Give me a few milliseconds to think about it.

Alright, revised plan: substitute Mental Conceptual Deletion: Cake for Mental Conceptual Apathy: Cake. That way they'll still be able to do cake quest for strategic purposes, but it should be sufficient to discourage anyone from falling for temptation effects.

Plan change noted. Executing revised plan. Should also be much easier to implement.

Daemon personality shards moving to new mental locations, and screening sensory input. All perceptions of Cake are now modified to appear absolutely disgusting and inedible, across all sensory forms. Secondary memory fog deployed to reduce chance of friendlies noticing and questioning irregularities in perception.

Click to shrink...

Cake is now no longer really so tempting. Everyone suddenly finds that they're no longer tempted by the CA-!*$*!UEJE!NJN!ENJK!

Your measures completely fail to stop the temptation of Lemon Quest! Everyone else is still slathering saliva over that juicy looking lemon!

All mentions of Cake Quest from here on out become mentions of Lemon Quest!

x2 My ghost hires 500 clerics to cast Truest Resurrection on me! AKA: Bandaids! Because we all know that Bandaids heal any wounds. Even soulkills.
x1. I then harness the power of PROBLEM SLUETH, trapping the Itsy Bitsy Spider in a office! It then breaks through the floor due to sheer weight, and falls right onto the Boots of Slowness, equipping them! Then, Demonhead Monster Kingpin swoops down and performs a CHAOS DUNK, forcibly equipping the Helmet of Betrayal
I then run far away from the spider,
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BIG SPIDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Click to shrink...

Band-aids cover you, reviving you with a full 20 health!

Spider now has 1 less attack each turn, and 1 more Helmet of Betrayal!

I handle two problems with one cat by letting the fangirl fawn over Tigerstar, who I throw at her
at mach 10.

I summon several POW blocks (as entities), which will cause a large, PG-damaging shockwave when hit with enough force. Fortunately there's nothing on the field that will lift them into the air and then drop them afterwards or anything, right?

Since Ray is destined to die soon, we dont actually have to go out of our way to attack him. He's going to die either way. Instead, I murder Scrappy Doo with poor CGI.

Click to shrink...

The fangirl's eyes light up with glee, followed promptly by them bursting out of her head as she explodes from being hit with a supersonic cat!

Your other 2 actions are stolen by Lemon Quest! You go on various lemon related adventures!

FOCUS; asking for Arbiter action

Ray is currently the second-most dangerous entity on the field, but I have an idea to deal with him. Moniker, I need you to slow him down so he can't just dodge everything. Even if you can only do it for one turn, that'll be enough for us to end him.

If Moniker manages to slow down Ray, I unload everything I've got onto him. I walk up to Ray (but since he's slowed down, he sees it like a flash-step), then start pummeling him. I punch him into the ground until his face is practically buried. Then I lift him up and throw him into the air before taking out a Plasma Cannon and blasting him with it. Then I switch to a cold-gun and freeze what's left of Ray in ice before shattering it with a blow from a Giant Hammer.

Click to shrink...

Right! Sounds good, and Ranger_Strider agreed as well! At the end of this turn, I'll slow him down!

ES suggests the the Arbiter Power is used on his action this turn.

"Moniker, here my plea!" ES raises the Spider-B-Gone to the sky, and it is sealed within an orb of pure light, surrounded by runic circles. Streams of data peal off the blinding sphere as it is analysed with every measure, both ordinary and esoteric. Its future and past are seen, chemical composition laid bare, and narrative significant unravelled. "Tell me, will this device work to slay the spider, or will it simply doom us to a worse fate? Is this another example of NPC betrayal, or have we been given a gift to use justly, effectively, and truly?"

Click to shrink...

Unfortunately, I can't use Arbiter power to help since the action was already taken! What I CAN say is that your data analysis scans the inside of the can, and returns... nothing! Absolutely nothing! Your results would be the results you're getting now if what was inside of that can was nothing but empty space!

3 actions: I bribe Field Marshal George Van Demon to fire General Georg Von Damon, since their names are way too similar and things could get very confusing in a situation with lots of pressure. Stripped of his generalship and in disgrace, Von Damon flees the battlefield and does not return.

Click to shrink...

You end up dipping out for a quick bit of lemon quest (now you need to get the OBJECT from the LOCATION), and when you come back, you find General Georg Von Damon has lost 110,000 HP to tears! He's somehow still on the field.

The Heir chuckles at the Spider's fear. He then jumps straight through the hole in the spider's abdomen, joining EternalStruggle in the beast. He sets ablaze the web, using a fire charge he made from materials obtained in the nether battle, and throws a fire resistance potion on himself and EternalStruggle, although the spiders are less fortunate. He then adds a lava bucket to complete the look. Neither the spiders, nor the web seem like they will favor this action. Plus, since both players are near the center of the lava, the spiders can't reach them as well, lowering attack accuracy for the little pests.

Click to shrink...

Players within the spider now have fire resistance! The lava is spreading rapidly, killing 3 spiders every turn!

The quiet watcher is annoyed at how the Cake quest had somehow taken over part of his action, despite how he didn't have any items that would have effected him in such a manner. Clearly the quest had some kind of in-built hypnosis effect. However, he didn't actually have all that much time to dwell on it, as the league of most hated fictional characters needed to die.

He forms an infinite bandoleer of TNT, and starts tossing lit sticks into the group of enemy characters to start killing them. He also tosses more at every hostile mob nearby, as explosives make every day better. This is especially true for insane teleporting maniacs, as they tend to run right into the blasts.

Click to shrink...

Somehow, you find yourself distracted by Lemon Quest again. 25% chances abound. Now, you need to get the baby from the cradle!

Your TNT hits the Sealed Summonspitter and Misaka Mikoto, dealing 30,000 damage to each of them!

1. I try to convice Misaka Mikoto to join our side by confronting her and refusing to fight.
2. To prove my determination, I will keep doing this over and over until I convince her.
3. Repeat

Click to shrink...

You stand in front of her! She admires determination! ...But, of course, the effect is totally ruined when, for your third action, you dash off because you need to complete a lemon quest part. Next, you need to get the Skyrim source code from the latte!

In the end, Misaka Mikoto is only somewhat convinced.

3x getting myself a flamethrow I reinfroce EternalStruggle by burning the Webs. Burn the spiders! Burn them allll.

Click to shrink...

You leap into the spider's belly and begin to roast the sticky web covering! 160,000 damage! You think you can start to see something behind these choking webs...

1 + 2: I respawn
only action this round: I give the temporal guardian a 10-hat hatstack, containing 10 hats which raise poison resistance! with 20% resistance appiece, this makes the temporal guardian 200% resistant to poison! Since they're more then immune, they heal from poison while the Hatstack's intact. Then I poison them, a little. If it does, in fact, heal them, I take about 1/10 of an atom of poison from Ray's daggers and (if the guardian consents) apply it to them, healing them more! I continue applying the poison afterwards at a steady rate, until I run out or it stops healing. The slow speed is so I can stop if the guardian takes damage: If Go An Na interferes, I wouldn't want to kill the Guardian (or damage it) by accident!

[0] I proceed to get an idea. It might be a bit of a gamble, but if Go An Na did have any more tricks up his sleeve and is not-terrible at tactics, then any potential enraged reactions can only be beneficial. This text Transparent in case Go An Na can see the terminal. also, any attempts by him to get more information will Also be beneficial, since they would waste his power(however much he has) on non-winning aims.
"Go An Na, how's Pricey12345 nowadays?"
"Actually, I know of someone who went through a similar situation to what I suspect happened to him... though not so extreme i suppose"

Click to shrink...

You're back up and kicking!

The temporal guardian now has poison resistance! This reduces damage he takes from Ray's attacks by 10%!

You get no response.

I'll second slowing Ray! Do it Moniker!
1. I levitate the area Ray is in. 100 square miles near Ray. He must be dragged up by this!
2. Into the incision! I take out a fireman's hose and spray the webs.
3. I then begin electrocuting the wet monsters.

Click to shrink...

Ray is levitated somewhat...

You leap into the spider, bringing the number of Players inside to 4! Your fireman's hose combined with the flamethrower to neutralize it and wash away the webs easily! 155,000 damage to the web covering! The remaining webs reveal what seems like a wall, but you think you can see a window through it...

Leo: We believe in you man! YOU'LL GET OUT!
Thank you!

3 ACTION FOCUS - FOCUS RAY: Pulling out a literal Ray Gun (a gun, made of Ray) I tell Moniker to help me use this to aim Ray's attention towards the spider instead of us. That way, we kill two birds with one stone. If not... I'll just fire the Ray Gun at the spider anyways.

Click to shrink...

Ray's about be taken care of! But, of course, you absolutely can shoot the spider! 150,000 damage to the big spider! The spider doesn't seem to flinch too much...

2 Actions

I attack the Itsy Bitsy Spider with a Spider Spout, like a waterspout but with spiders.

1 Action

I tempt the Ebon Dragon with the Cake, so as to improve the chances of him switching to our side. (and maybe even staying a little longer)

Click to shrink...

Once again, the Spider reacts strongly at the mention of a Spider Spout! However, the attack only deals an ordinary 100,000 damage.

The cake? What cake? All you can think of is lemons! Speaking of lemons, you head out and complete a part of lemon quest! Next you need to get the piano from the college dorm room!

Free Action: I displace some gestures by means of space-warping to ask the Darkshard why it's not coming out.
One of my Actions, whichever is the first to not get eaten by Cake Quest, Third Uneaten Action if possible: I Postselected Spacewarp Ray. This reduces his dodge rate in an undodgeable manner.
Second Uneaten Action: I go inside The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Click to shrink...

The Darkshard points at the Lightshard. Seems to indicate that its waiting.

One of your actions indeed gets eaten by Lemon Quest! Regardless, you drag Ray down, reducing his dodge rate by 10%! I'll take care of him in but a moment...

You enter the Itsy Bitsy Spider's inside! There's plenty of you in here now!

A handy recipe for later, not currently though. I can just see it now, applying this and cue the strongest Sealed Bosses getting Unsealed.

"Indeed, Ray is a major issue who needs to die quickly. You're authorized to attack Ray as soon as you can reliably do so, the moment that dodge rate fails kill that dagger wielding man. Otherwise keep one shotting the fodder Sealed Bosses and the strongest League of Most Hated Fictional Characters, we need to keep ahead with the healing-damage ratio."

Then I give the Temporal Guardian a shot of pure BADASS and ACCURACY, temporarily amplifying the Temporal Guardian's accuracy for this turn. If the debuffs other Players are trying work out then hopefully Ray will be no more. (x1)

I also give the Temporal Guardian a necklace of spatial warping, adding an unexpected additional to their powerset in terms of survival. Upon activation complex spatial manipulation will take place, both making things look strange and saving the Temporal Guardian from a single fatal blow. After all, hard to hit something when they're suddenly behind you, to the left, and the path of an attack literally curves away from them. Hmmm, I really should get around to creating my spatial manipulator entity. (x2)

Click to shrink...

The Temporal Guardian nods again! Away he goes!

Temporal Guardian's accuracy increased by 50% for this turn! He aims at Ray...

You half-complete a necklace of spatial warping, then find yourself running around completing another part of Lemon Quest! Dangit, you just keep crawling back... You can finish the other half of the spatial warping necklace next turn!

Simply doing Cake Quest just ain't doing it for Eyowe anymore. Now, it's not that he's getting bored of doing Cake Quest or anything, it's just that he knows he can do more. Or maybe...he can be more.

What better way to show his dedication to Cake Quest than BECOMING CAKE QUEST HIMSELF?! By that I mean he's assimilating the entirety of Cake Quest into himself, taking over all that is Cake Quest, from the NPCs to the items to the merchandises and all that. Eyowe is Cake Quest, and Cake Quest is he.

Click to shrink...

Vast numbers of Lemon Quest NPCs are replaced with nonsensical copies of Eyowe! Even the items are Eyowe! Lemon Quest is increasingly glitchier... -10% Lemon Quest Functionality!

Using a free action, I challenge Old Man Jenkins to a duel for the Cake!

Using my 3 actions (finally!) I summon my own spiders to attack the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Or at least support EternalStruggle.

Click to shrink...

Old Man Jenkins accepts! Before you can react, he pulls out a pistol and shoots you, dealing 5 damage to you and winning the duel! He tells you its "East West style".

One of your actions is taken by Lemon Quest! Now you need to get the Eyowe from the Music box!

Your spiders enter the Itsy Bitsy Spider, making friendly answers to the enemy small spiders!

In order to solve CakeQuest once and for all, Alistair proceeds to map out everything from start to finish, politely borrowing Eyowe's CakeQuest memorabilia and using the many references and sequences of events to map every part of the fetch quest. In doing so, he doubles the effectiveness of all actions being used on CakeQuest specifically because the information improves travel efficiency!

Next, he assists Eyowe in his takeover of CakeQuest by promoting it! Alistair promotes CakeQuest to everyone super hard, making them susceptible to the same effects as the Players! This means that, fortunately, all of our enemies are now vulnerable to uncontrollably being co-opted into CakeQuest even without those Rings of Temptation!

Lastly, Alistair points out that the Cake, aside from being special, has no defined size. Since the crowd of Players is arbitrary and hypothetically infinite, then so too is the size of the Cake. Furthermore, Alistair points out, since the Cake is thought to be delicious by all, its flavor must be variable, meaning that it becomes the flavor of whoever is currently eating it! Alistair explains this all to the Itsy Bitsy Spider to reassure it that all of its component spiders can have the cake they desire.

This is done to double the chances of the Itsy Bitsy Spider enemy to chase down that Cake. And also done by Alistair to low key guess the secret gimmick of the Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Click to shrink...

All attempts to complete lemon quest now complete 2 parts instead of one thanks to increased efficiency and shared information!

All non-boss foes now have a 10% chance to waste time in Lemon quest!

The Itsy Bitsy Spider nods, but stays strong! Its a boss! It must remain aloof from Lemon quest!

Action:
I throw up a bunch of badly mastered games, causing Ray to flip out and hastily begin repairing them. This doesn't actually hurt him but it distracts him a bunch.

x2 action; ask for Arbiter help:
I look at the Sealed Zombie. Since it's by far the weakest of the current sealed boss enemies, it is well within range of doing something screwy...
I bribe the Sealed Zombie with an unending supply of brains. This causes the Sealed Zombie to change sides.
Then, because the Unsealed Game Master is the smartest enemy on the field, the Zombie goes for him. Because of the previous distraction, he totally missed the Sealed Zombie changing sides and doesn't realize that it's an attack he needs to dodge until its too late and he's already been zombified!

Speaking of which I seem to recall that the side owning the Sealed/Unsealed Zombie by default controls all zombified entities...

Click to shrink...

Ray distracted somewhat!

The Sealed Zombie eats brains! However, it is too stupid to realize that it needs to stop eating brains at some point! It keeps eating until it explodes! Sealed Zombie slain!

(x2) I heal up the Temporal Guardian by Drawing on the Lifeforce of Ray,Unsealed Game Master,if Ray is already dead then the Healing comes from me creating some Green Mana and using it

(X1) Cake Quest Action:I create my First Draft for a Treaty of Economics,drawing on my Enlightenment and various teachings and submit it to my helpful Clones who are still here after the Multi-Questing who begin refining the Treaty and implementing it's most useful parts straight away

Click to shrink...

+50,000 current/max HP to him! It was going to be 100K, but you found yourself once again in Lemon Quest. Now you need to get the Eyowe from the cathedral!

More and more people adopt various Lemon-quest related economic reforms. This new "money" concept is becoming increasingly popular, especially with the youth. More investment and its sure to have some effect on Lemon Quest.

I use two actions to revive as is legally obligatory.

With my last action I take off the Ring of Temptation, and I pull out a forge hammer. I spend a few moments beating at the ring until it becomes a flat disc, creating the Coin of Temptation! Of course it's legal tender, why do you ask? I promptly go off to the nearest item shop and exchange the tempting coin for the next item needed to the cake quest. A fair trade, I'm certain.

Click to shrink...

You're back in tippety top shape!

Since your action was spent on lemon quest, you can't be distracted from it by lemon quest! Coin of Temptation exchanged away!

(Action 1 & 2)
Blinking the odd lights away, I groggily get up from my downed state to shake myself fresh to get through this sidequest.

(Action 3!)
Noticing the Level 5 Railgun, I squee inside as I read both magic and science side light novels she was from! In fact, she is one of my most loved characters aside from the protagonist from the series!

In fact... from what I see using my extensive knowledge of the Toaru Majustsu No Index (A Certain Magical Index) series, I easily determine that this Misaka had finished the 1st Novel and into the 2nd Novel of the New Testament series where she starts thinking about the Spiky Haired Boy which she Definitely Does Not (Cough cough, Lol, Cough cough) have a crush on which had been developing throughout the Old Testament. Said boy was said to be MIA after the conclusion of WW3. Upon deeper inspection on how she's acting, I conclude that she's been bribed the safety of the boy as I recall that she was rather desperate at the time.

So with all this information in mind, I craft a scheme to get her out of the field immediately using my knowledge on her and summoned the Dense, unlucky, and frozen popsicle Kamijou Touma who had fallen into the Arctic sea after dealing with the instigator of the WW3.

Just as I summon him, I quickly break him out of the ice and awaken him. After that, I start feeling his arm containing one of the factors that makes him the main character of his series start erasing my summoning Player energy binding here and quickly explain how Misaka was forcibly summoned here and can be unsummoned as she most likely influenced by a supernatural mean and can be dispelled by his arm containing Imagine Breaker.

Of course, being the Good Guy and a large person of admiration and love interest to Misaka was quickly noticed by Misaka as in her time, he was MIA after the conclusion of WW3 in her world. Being the slightly tomboyish girl that Misaka is, she quickly confronted the spiky-haired boy and make their reunion as he explains that he can cut break the tie that's binding here due to the contract which is more than likely be counted as magical which fall in the category of being supernatural, thus susceptible to his arm's effect.

Seeing as the boy is safe, her Tsundere scale weights in the dere side and quickly trust. Grasping the boy's right hand, the sound of breaking glass signifies the hold on Misaka breaks and she disappears back to her world, and just in time as well as Kamijou's arm finally erased my player energy binding him here and he disappears as well to his world and be the big damn hero.

With a happy sigh, I take some time to re-read through the series as I wait for the turn to end and wait for the translation team to finish up translating the rest of vol.22 New Testament.

(Toaru Fanboy)

Click to shrink...

You're back up and running!

Misaka Mikoto... is complete convinced! Thanks to the previous show of goodwill along with this, Misaka Mikoto decides to fight with you rather than against you! Misaka Mikoto is now on the [AG] team!

First I'll spend 2 CP to re-spawn. Second I'll back up Daskter by giving his attack with a flamethower a bit of extra energy so it can better kill the spiders (1 CP).

Click to shrink...

And you are BACK!

Daskter suddenly finds an extra gout of flame coming from his flamethrower! 50,000 more damage to the web covering! Its in tatters, but the Players can't quite get through...

Action One: I summon a cake-hunting guide for dummy's. (-1)

Action Two: I begin to complete the Cake Quest, and of course it ends with a simple thing. (-1)

Action Three: I summon another instance of SCP-871. (-1)

Click to shrink...

Looking at the lemon-hunting guide, it appears to contain a lot of advanced instructions on ways to subvert the quests and complete them much faster. A handful of disclaimers are attached. Do you use the methods prescribed, or read the disclaimer fully? It looks like it has tiny text and will take a full action.

Two parts complete! Now you need to get the Eyowe from the Lemonporium!

24 hours has yet to pass. But now it will be 24 hours less until the cakepocalypse!

---------

Arbiter action, GO! With my power, I punch the Levitated Ray in place! He suddenly finds himself utterly unable to move! Dodge rate reduced to 0%! This is what happens when you make us mad, Ray!

AG:

The Temporal Guardian charges at Ray and the Unsealed Assassin, and with one clean strike, lops off both their heads! Blood sprays everywhere as their bodies fall to the ground! Unsealed Game Master and Unsealed Dagger Assassin slain!

Misaka Mikoto, newly on your side, cuts general Georg Von Damon in half!

Inside the Itsy Bitsy Spider, the lava and your allied spiders clean the place of enemy small spiders! You're safe for a turn!

PG:

4 more small Spiders appear inside the Itsy Bitsy Spider! You can feel more and heavier pairs of feet approaching from the small holes...

The Sealed Lightshard and Sealed Zombie are now the UNSEALED LIGHTSHARD and the UNSEALED ZOMBIE, respectively! Be careful not to unseal too much stuff at once if you aren't prepared to put them in the ground permanently!

The Sealed Throne levitates Misaka Mikoto!

The assassins attack the Temporal Guardian, dealing 10,000 damage to him!

Scrappy Do attacks Misaka Mikoto, dealing 25,000 damage!

The Ebon Dragon considers his current position... Yeah, he's out! The Ebon Dragon is now [AG]!

The Itsy Bitsy Spider rampages forward! It begins to curve to focus on the Temporal Guardian... the Players have failed to distract it at all! With the Itsy Bitsy Spider moving closer to killing the Temporal Guardian, the Players realize what they need to do...

Eight randomly selected Players fly in front of the Itsy Bitsy Spider at the last moment, forming a latticework of barriers delaying the Itsy Bitsy Spider long enough for the Temporal Guardian to retreat to the other side of Minecraft Valley, and be safe for another turn!

In a fury, the Itsy Bitsy Spider's claws lash out and shred through the eight random Players, killing them all! Pionoplayer slain! DragonofHope slain! JOEbob slain! DanganMachin slain! CaptainNZZZ slain! Paradoxdragonpaci slain! Krill13/Eyowe slain! Bill Nye slain! Each of these Players must spend 2 of their 3 actions respawning this turn!

You can't keep losing people and actions like this! Keep the Itsy Bitsy Spider distracted, or deal with it permanently! You can't keep it away from the Temporal Guardian forever, and you certainly can't keep them safe by sacrificing yourself!

N:

The Defender Captain and his Defenders create the Mortar, a long-range weapon to pelt foes with! It must be operated manually to attack. Defender E is designated as the Mortar Firer, at least when he's not building.

The Defenders also shift the alignment of the Cover Wall ever so slightly, making it defend their precious Tower as well.

Five new League of Most Hated Villains characters show their dirty, disgusting faces!

The Raynor's Raiders appear, here to kick butt and take names! ...But since they're just more Starcraft Army units, they get nulled by the Curse of Repetitiveness!

The UEF Commanders appear! Thanks to their alignment status, they actually join your side!

The League of Game of Thrones characters appear! Each member of them is one of the most disgusting, evilest characters from the show itself! Rip them to shreds and give them what they justly deserve!

Starscream appears, straight out of Transformers! He wonders if he couldn't take out GoAnNa and be the new leader...

Old Man Henderson appears! You know right away that you're in for a bad time. You hear Old Man Henderson muttering under his breath, wondering where his old friend Old Man Jenkins is...

----------


MINECRAFT VALLEY:

ITINERARY:
-Destroy the Tower to Win the Sidequest you're currently in!
-Destroy the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Right now, the area inside the incision seems promising...
-Find a way to finish Lemon Quest!
-Kill every Sealed Boss!
-Remove ALL the harmful items from everybody's inventory!
-Defeat the League of Most Hated Fictional Characters! More are showing up each turn!
-Suggest a good action for the Arbiter Action!

Arbiter Power: Ready next turn!

Field Effects: Lemon Quest promotion (Non-boss enemies have a 10% chance to do lemon quest)

[PG]The Itsy Bitsy Spider: 888,888,843,888/888,888,888,888 HP, 88,888,888 x 84A (Boss)(Massive)(angry at FlamingFlapjacks)(weak neutralization resistance)(has necklace of death x 2 - dies x 2 every third turn?)(Helmet of Betrayal x 2- betrays allies sometimes?)
Incision leading inside underbelly (Leads to being caught Inside the Web)
Inside the Web:

Spoiler

Exit: Open!
[AG]Cephalos Jr.: 20/20 HP
[AG]EternalStruggle: 16/20 HP (has can of Spider-B-Gone)
[AG]Ender_Smirk: 17/20 HP
[AG]Daskter: 20/20 HP
[AG]Ranger_Strider_: 20/20 HP
[AG]Lava (Killing 3 Small Spiders/turn)
[AG]Small Spiders: 10,000 x 2 HP, 10,000 x 2A

[PG]Small Spiders: 10,000 x 4 HP, 10,000 x 4A
Small Hole (2 small spiders/1 medium spider exiting every turn)(spider spawn rate increases as time passes)
Small Hole (2 small spiders/1 medium spider exiting every turn)(spider spawn rate increases as time passes)
[PG]Web covering: 135,000 HP (covering ???)

[PG]Unsealed Zombie: 40,000/40,000 HP, 0 x 3A, Special: Conv-All: 0/5 (Boss)(Super Zombifying Bites)

[PG]Sealed Assassin - Power: 65,000/65,000 HP, 20,000A (Boss)
Sealed Assassin - Speed: 40,000/40,000 HP, 5,000 x 2A (Boss)

[PG]Unsealed Lightshard: 400,000/400,000 HP, 70,000A (Boss)(-3,000 damage from all attacks)

[PG]Sealed Throne: 390,000/500,000 HP, Levitatex2!A (Boss)

[PG]Sealed Summonspitter: 270,000/300,000 HP, Summon!A (Boss)

[PG]Scrappy Do: 10,000 HP, 5,000 x 5A

[PG]League of Game of Thrones characters: 700,000 HP, 120,000A

[PG]Starscream: 500,000/500,000 HP, 200,000 x 2A (30% chance to defect to Neutral each turn)

[PG]Old Man Henderson: 3,000,000/3,000,000 HP, 300,000 x 8A (analyzing the situation)(new skill developer)

[PG]NPC: Managing Lemon Quest! 449,622 parts remaining! Functionality at 70%! 10 parts complete/turn! (Invincible)(All part completion doubled)

[AG - CaptainNZZZ]Temporal Guardian: 4,205,000/6,050,000 HP, 500,000 x 2A, Special: Za Warudo: In use! (-10,000 damage from all attacks)(20% dodge rate)(+200,000 HP per turn)(miniboss)(poison resistant)

[AG]Misaka Mikoto: 245,000/300,000 HP, 100,000A, Special: Railgun: 1/2 (Levitated! Back down in 3!)

[AG]Ebon Dragon: 500,000/500,000 HP, 200,000 x 2A (50% chance of betraying current team each round)

[AG]UEF Commanders: 70,000 x 4 HP, 30,000 x 4A

[N]Cover Wall: 500,000 HP (can be used as shelter)(defending Tower as well)

[N]Mortar: 400,000/400,000 HP, 400,000A (needs to be operated manually, can be fired once per turn)

[N]Defender Captain: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender A: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender B: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender C: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender D: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender E: 20/20 HP (designated mortar operator)

[N]The Tower: 500,000 HP

Curse of No Charging

PLAYERS:
Alastair Dragovich: 17/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)(has Ring of Temptation x 1 - currently 50% susceptible to Cake Quest)
Arsenical: 17/20 HP
Bill Nye: 0/20 HP (has Gauntlet)(has boots)
Captain.cat: 20/20 HP
CaptainNZZZ: 0/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)
Crusher48: 15/20 HP
Dangan_Machin: 0/20 HP
Dragon of Hope?!?: 0/20 HP(has Helmet of Betrayal - actions have a 20% chance to hurt allies)
Eevee Shadow Bacon: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)(has boots of slowness, only gets 2 actions per turn)
FlamingFlapjacks: 20/20 HP (has tophat - contains 1 boots of slowness, 1 helmet of betrayal)
General_Urist: 20/20 HP
GoldHero101: 20/20 HP
Joebobobob: 0/20 HP
Karpinsky: 20/20 HP
Krill13: 0/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation x 5 - currently 800% susceptible to Cake Quest)
Paradoxdragonpaci: 0/20 HP
Pionoplayer: 0/20 HP
That-Random-Guy: 20/20 HP
The_Quiet_Watcher: 20/20 HP
The_Two_Eternities: 20/20 HP
The Ego: 20/20 HP
Vylad: 20/25 HP
Winkins: 20/20 HP (has Epipen)

Current Player Power: 50,000

 

[The_Two_Eternities]

1 action: I hit the Unsealed Zombie with a tombstone. whack whack whack

2 actions: I set up a Winter-Thingy-Launcher. It's like an automatic tennis ball server, but it shoots zombies with frostbite. I aim it at the League of Game of Thrones characters and watch as it fires, trying to figure out if it's ironic or not... and then it runs out of zombies.

 

[Crusher48]

Attempted Disruption of Lemon Quest did not work. Now what?

I've got several ideas. Let's do them all at once.

Entity Orders: Hey, Temporal Guardian! You're a human-sized entity. There's a human-sized, invulnerable, cover object nearby. Take cover behind the invulnerable NPC, and the spider's ludicrous damage will be meaningless. If you can attack from that position, target something that isn't a sealed boss.

Action 1+2: I deploy a large contingent of Fetch Drones, and begin an aggressive marketing campaign, leveraging the Daemon Personality Shards in everyone's mind.

Distributing additional energy and sub-units to match new mission parameters for Daemon Personality Shards.

Want that Lemon? Don't try to get it yourself. Instead, call the free Fetch Drone hotline at 1-800-FETCH, and have one of our drones do it! Our drones are certificed to be 10x as effective as any Player action, getting you the cake much, much faster than you ever could yourself. Then, just go about your action as usual. All you need to do is not interfere in the quest in any way.

But wait! That's not all! To demonstrate the power of Fetch Drones, they'll work for free! That's right, for every action you take that doesn't complete a part of Lemon Quest, our drones will complete two parts!

However, the drones aren't as effective as they're being advertised. In fact, they'll be lucky to even complete one part of Lemon Quest each before breaking down or getting thrown out by an angry NPC. Hey, I'm not an engineer. The daemon personality shards will work to cover up the fact that the Fetch Drones are garbage by discarding/glossing over the appropriate sensory data, as well as by blocking any attempts by the brains of the fellow players to doubt the claims. Even if the drones were completely useless (say, because the NPCs tried to make them take "I am not a robot" test before trading with them), they would still do their primary job of making people do what they actually want to do rather than being disrupted constantly by this stupid quest.

Action 3: I tell Old Man Henderson what's really going on.

So, you're on the wrong side. You're currently on the side of Go An Na, an eldritch abomination above all others. It won't simply destroy our world, it will create an unbreakable time loop across all of reality. I'm not sure how he relates to Hastur, exactly, but unless I'm wrong, I don't think you're in the same boat as those cultists you wiped out.

I've got one way you can help. That Lemon has been inflicting a wide-area corruption effect, destroying the sanity of everyone here. The NPC guarding it will only part with it if he gets Old Man Jenkins' prized Xylophone. I'd eliminate him, if not for the fact that he's got a stupid amount of DM-enforced Plot Armor.