Defeat The Godmodder

[EternalStruggle]

ES curses. He was worried about something like this.

Still, even if the Defenders stabbed him in the back, this was probably still the way to go to deal with the Spider, so onward he pressed regardless. Drawing up his full power, he spent 3 actions on shattering the remaining webbing with a barrage of gravitic waves, shattering it and clearing the way for their advance. The lava and spiders could deal with the enemy spiders, not to mention his allies.

Forward, for victory!

 

[Daskter]

I run through the webbing that eternalstruggle destroyed and throw a bunch of shrapnel grenades at the biggest or first hostile entity I find.

 

[Bill Nye]

Action 1-2: I respawn.
Action 3: I start to get nausea and decide to give it to the Sealed Summonspitter

STORY CONTINUES WHEN I GOT THE WHOLE THING PLANNED OUT!!!

 

[WHM Sukamia]

I revive myself.

I imagine that the Helmet Of Betrayal has spikes or horns on it, so I charge headfirst into the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Sadly, the helmet gets stuck inside the spider, damaging it and removing it from my head.

 

[Krill13]

x2:
Eyowe revives in [Lemon] Quest style.

x1:
Now that he is [Lemon] Quest himself, Eyowe must now do the next best thing to that: advertising [Lemon] Quest/himself. Eyowe sets out to advertise [Lemon] Quest/himself to the nearest entity he sees.

No officer I swear the Itsy Bitsy Spider being the closest entity to Eyowe was totally a coincidence and I'm not just narrating stuff to our advantage.

 

[Ranger_Strider_]

Into the breach men! EternalStruggle has opened a gap! CHARGE! SAVOIAAAAAAAAAA!
FOCUS!
I create a massive spear, and throw it forward at the largest thing behind the webbing (likely another barrier) It should drill through that thing and open a path.

 

[JOEbobobob]

Personally, I hate lemons. They're sour and thats not a taste I like.
[2x] REspown
[1] I point out the Zombie was still bribed, and Sealed Bosses maintain mental continuity across unsealings so it's on our side now.
Then I point it towards the Sealed Summonspitter and throne.

 

[CaptainNZZZ]

A loud eruption of dirt shoots up from the ground as a coffin rises up from six feet under, a gleaming object made of bones, gold, and polished oak wood. The coffin swings open and I step out, newly revived, with a pained expression plastered across my face. That accursed spider, that one entity surpasses the threat of all the Sealed Bosses in my opinion. (x2)

With most of my power having been devoted to bring myself back I merely get to work finishing the necklace of spatial warping for the Temporal Guardian. With that finished at least we'll have something to counter the Itsy Bitsy Spider's attacks towards the Temporal Guardian for a turn. If no one wants to distract the spider, very well. As long as I can get this out the Temporal Guardian will be saved from an otherwise fatal blow. (x1)

"Temporal Guardian your targets today are the Unsealed Lightshard and Starscream, assuming they're both still on the PG side. Crusher's idea of trying to use the Lemon Quest NPC as cover is a good idea, invincible things are just asking to be used as a shield, so if it's possible go for it."

To all other entities I tell them to ignore the Sealed Throne and the Sealed Summonspitter, those unsealing is not what we need right now and we all know you entities have a habit of doing the worst actions possible when left alone. No offense, the last has just made me cautious.

 

[The quiet watcher]

The quiet watcher is shocked to see Old Man Henderson in the league of hated fictional characters, but he wasn't going to worry too much about it. Instead, he shouts to him, "The Itsy-Bitsy spider and its allies stole and destroyed your gnomes!" Being Old Man Henderson, that would undoubtedly lead to its death if everything lasted long enough.

He then preforms a speedrunning strategy for the Lemon quest, and trades away the unsealed Lightshard before it can react for the Eyowe chandelier, which was going to be necessary later in the questline as a necessary item that normally involved getting a lightshard from the elemental plane of light. The fact that an unsealed lightshard was available meant that he could skip a few hundred steps straight up, though he did burn his hands from how fast they moved to handle the trade before anything happened. Still, that automatically removed the unsealed lightshard from any side, as it automatically became an item during the trade.

Finally, he cuts out the middleman between the sealed assassin and its intelligence, mostly by removing its brain and giving it to the unsealed zombie to eat.

 

[pionoplayer]

I just don't die. The Itsy Bity spider killed me but I was feeling rather disgruntled about being randomly chosen as the sacrifice so I just didn't die.
I was so disgruntled about being chosen though that I spent two entire actions complaining about it on the internet, which no one will ever see because the internet is frozen in time.
(tl;dr: 2 actions spent respawning)

Final action:
I wander over to Old Man Henderson and tap him on the shoulder.
I quickly step out of the way, avoiding his angry shotgun blast, and hold up my hands.
"heeeyyyy no, no, I'm a friend. Well, maybe. Me and my buds are doing something for Old Man Jenkins, who seems to be your friend, right? That means our interests align, at least, right now. Tell you what, I know where Jenkins is, I'll show you the way."
I gesture for Henderson to follow me. After moving about 100 meters and ruining 50 different extensively planned tabletop RPG campaigns, we arrive at Old Man Jenkins' house.
"Knock knock, Old Man Jenkins? Guy by the name of Henderson says he wanted to check up on you."

 

[DanganMachin]

1. Respawn
2. Respawn
3. I paint Dragon of Hope's helmet black and since the helmet is covered in paint it can't see and therefore can't make someone betray their team.

 

[The Ego]

I summon several POW blocks (as entities), which will cause a large, PG-damaging shockwave when hit with enough force. Fortunately there's nothing on the field that will lift them into the air and then drop them afterwards or anything, right?

Since Ray is destined to die soon, we dont actually have to go out of our way to attack him. He's going to die either way. Instead, I murder Scrappy Doo with poor CGI.

For my last action, I spit at lemonquest thieving my actions. And spit at starscream. Water causes himm to short circuit and explode.
I remember that being canon I think.

 

[Karpinskaya]

FOCUS

I summon a few hundred ordinary garden gnomes and give them to Old Man Henderson, placating him.

 

[Ender_Smirk]

The heir does something smart and throws up an obsidian barrier over one of the small holes. Should buy some time, allowing the others to do some real damage.

 

[FlamingFlapjacks]

I introduce Henderson and Jenkins, then I inform them Go An Na RAILROADED us. Not only that, he's using Cake Quest to RAILROAD us, even just RNGing our actions away.
x3. I whip out a shotgun. This isn't any shotgun. This is the Shotgun of the Blaster the Third, slayer of the Dragon of Notgoanna, antique of the Gun Elemental Titans. It is a legendary weapon, revered by many throughout the Planes. I hand it to Henderson, a gift, a powerful weapon.

 

[GoldHero101]

Alrighty. The weaker threats...

3 ACTION FOCUS - BLOW EM AWAY!: I channel my energy into one giant burst, meant to kill the weaker threats. "Eat this!" As I unleash, the smaller threats are terrified. However, they get Half-Life 2 energy orb.jpg'd.

OOC: Also, next turn, let's beseech that Moniker helps us complete Lemon Quest in some way. A multiplier, perhaps?

 

[Paradoxdragonpaci]

(x2)I wander around as a soul before entering a Paradoxdragon Clone as my new vessel. //Respawning

(X1)Lemon Quest??:I Create the Second Draft of the Treaty of Economics as my Clones begin pushing out the second phase of it's integration into the Economics

 

[AnyaOfFlame]

Action One: I read the cake-hunting guide for dummy's. (Fine print included)

Action Two: I summon another instance of SCP-871

Action Three: I summon cake-hunting gear.

 

[That-Random-Guy]

Action 1+2: I attack the Itsy Bitsy Spider with a spider squisher made of spider spouts.

Action 3: The Itsy Bitsy Spider wants, no, needs the Lemon, and therefore wastes attacks trying to destroy the factors of size and intelligence that keep it from completing parts of lemon quest.

I also ask Defender E to use the mortar on the League of Game of Thrones characters.

 

[Alastair Dragovich]

The Itsy Bitsy Spider nods, but stays strong! Its a boss! It must remain aloof from Lemon quest!

Click to shrink...

So, it is its integrity as a boss that keeps them from participating?

Alistair does not have a nice grin. Invoking the very power of shenanigans themselves, Alistair steals the boss tag and, using the very nature of the instability of the Lemon quest, somehow entangles it into the Quest! Now if the Itsy Bitsy Spider wants to get it, they'll have to participate in Lemon Quest! And good luck for it- it's at least 552 Tasks into the thing from the moment Alistair nabbed it! Action 1 down.

Then for his second Action, Alistair points out that the Rings of Temptation are all explicitly for Cake Quest, but there's no more Cake Quest, just Lemon Quest. The Ring he is wearing, in fact, realizes this in horror and leaves, now freshly out of a job.

However, Alistair feels that familiar feeling. A feeling he has known all of his life. The feeling of incredibly acute guilt for doing something bad and making people feel horrible when he thought he was doing a good thing. With his third Action, he hires the now out of work rings to repair Lemon Quest's Integrity, so that TM Bad Things don't happen! considers hiring them to deal with the integrity, but instead gets a better idea.

EDIT: Alistair, with his third Action, hires the Rings to tie up 11 of the Itsy Bitsy Spider's legs each, removing 77 of its actions since there were seven rings! Now, how can this work? Well, for one, the legs are really thin at the end for maximum stabbiness.

For another I'm invoking the Arbiter Action that the updop says we still have!

 

[Cephalos Jr.]

Uneaten Actions 1 and 3: I stop up one of the holes with a plug of various materials.
Action 2: I summarily execute the worst Game of Thrones characters from the League of Game of Thrones characters based on convictions for various death penalty-carrying crimes that they were convicted of by a logic engine. I even have the documents to prove their convictions!

 

[Captain.Cat]

'I never was fond of dogs, or at least cartoon dogs.' I think to myself as I spy Scrappy Do from across the field. 'Well I guess it would be a bit immoral of me to simply kill him as he is just a puppy so how about I have him sent to the pound instead?' Closing my eyes I focus a bit of my energy onto my wish. 'I wish for Scrappy Do to be teleported to a pound in a alternate universe!' Suddenly a red flash of light appears under Scrappy Do, Scrappy Do looks down below him for a moment and sees a Red portal leading to a cage, Following cartoon physics gravity only now takes effect and Scrappy Do is sent plummeting down to his new home for the foreseeable future. The portal then closes behind him. (1 CP)

'Well hopefully that is dealt with. Now how about patching up and pulling down Misaka Mikoto.' Looking up in the air I see that Misaka Mikoto is very high up. 'Hmm okay maybe Patching up and giving a attack shield to her.' I focus the rest of my power into my next two wishes. 'I wish for Misaka Mikoto to be healed and given a Attack shield!' Suddenly in a flash of red light next to Misaka Mikoto a stimpack from Fallout appears next to her and then injects itself into her, Nearly instantly healing her for all of the damage she has taken. Next a red ring appears on her pinky finger. Looking it over she can red a label on it which reads one time use ring of protection. If she is attacked then the ring of protection will activate and form a shield around her protecting her from harm. (1 CP for healing, 1 CP for attack shield)

 

[General_Urist]

I use one action to take out a huge axe and chop the Unsealed Zombie in half, then use my other two to cover Starscream in flaming napalm.

 

[Moniker]

1 action: I hit the Unsealed Zombie with a tombstone. whack whack whack

2 actions: I set up a Winter-Thingy-Launcher. It's like an automatic tennis ball server, but it shoots zombies with frostbite. I aim it at the League of Game of Thrones characters and watch as it fires, trying to figure out if it's ironic or not... and then it runs out of zombies.

Click to shrink...

Two of your actions get appropriated for Lemon Quest! You run around, in search of LEMON... now you have to get the Eyowe from the Free Cake Emporium!

With your remaining actions, the League of Game of Thrones characters loses multiple of their number to biting! They beat a hasty retreat, several brutal and gory on-screen deaths occurring on the way! 60,000 damage!

Attempted Disruption of Lemon Quest did not work. Now what?

I've got several ideas. Let's do them all at once.

Entity Orders: Hey, Temporal Guardian! You're a human-sized entity. There's a human-sized, invulnerable, cover object nearby. Take cover behind the invulnerable NPC, and the spider's ludicrous damage will be meaningless. If you can attack from that position, target something that isn't a sealed boss.

Action 1+2: I deploy a large contingent of Fetch Drones, and begin an aggressive marketing campaign, leveraging the Daemon Personality Shards in everyone's mind.

Distributing additional energy and sub-units to match new mission parameters for Daemon Personality Shards.

Want that Lemon? Don't try to get it yourself. Instead, call the free Fetch Drone hotline at 1-800-FETCH, and have one of our drones do it! Our drones are certificed to be 10x as effective as any Player action, getting you the cake much, much faster than you ever could yourself. Then, just go about your action as usual. All you need to do is not interfere in the quest in any way.

But wait! That's not all! To demonstrate the power of Fetch Drones, they'll work for free! That's right, for every action you take that doesn't complete a part of Lemon Quest, our drones will complete two parts!

However, the drones aren't as effective as they're being advertised. In fact, they'll be lucky to even complete one part of Lemon Quest each before breaking down or getting thrown out by an angry NPC. Hey, I'm not an engineer. The daemon personality shards will work to cover up the fact that the Fetch Drones are garbage by discarding/glossing over the appropriate sensory data, as well as by blocking any attempts by the brains of the fellow players to doubt the claims. Even if the drones were completely useless (say, because the NPCs tried to make them take "I am not a robot" test before trading with them), they would still do their primary job of making people do what they actually want to do rather than being disrupted constantly by this stupid quest.

Action 3: I tell Old Man Henderson what's really going on.

So, you're on the wrong side. You're currently on the side of Go An Na, an eldritch abomination above all others. It won't simply destroy our world, it will create an unbreakable time loop across all of reality. I'm not sure how he relates to Hastur, exactly, but unless I'm wrong, I don't think you're in the same boat as those cultists you wiped out.

I've got one way you can help. That Lemon has been inflicting a wide-area corruption effect, destroying the sanity of everyone here. The NPC guarding it will only part with it if he gets Old Man Jenkins' prized Xylophone. I'd eliminate him, if not for the fact that he's got a stupid amount of DM-enforced Plot Armor.

Click to shrink...

The Temporal Guardian tries to maneuver behind the Quest managing NPC! The NPC just shuffles to the side!

Three fetch drones deployed! The next 2 times somebody WOULD get distracted by Lemon Quest, these drones will be launched instead!

Old Man Jenkins initially ignores your spiel. But at the end, he stops. Did somebody say... DM-ENFORCED? "Well, we'll just see about that!" He grumbles, strolling off towards the Quest-Manager NPC...

ES curses. He was worried about something like this.

Still, even if the Defenders stabbed him in the back, this was probably still the way to go to deal with the Spider, so onward he pressed regardless. Drawing up his full power, he spent 3 actions on shattering the remaining webbing with a barrage of gravitic waves, shattering it and clearing the way for their advance. The lava and spiders could deal with the enemy spiders, not to mention his allies.

Forward, for victory!

Click to shrink...

The webbing is expelled as quickly as it is fast. With the last shreds torn away, you can see what lies behind...

Within the flesh of this spider, you see a star-shaped window. Through the window, a very tiny spider sits at a very tiny control panel, pressing spidery little buttons and moving spidery little levers. You could probably attack right through the window... but you feel that even this little spider shouldn't be trifled with.

The spider hasn't noticed you all yet.

You glance down at your can of Spider-B-Gone. Now's your chance. You have to strike with something while it's distracted...

I run through the webbing that eternalstruggle destroyed and throw a bunch of shrapnel grenades at the biggest or first hostile entity I find.

Click to shrink...

You pause with your armful of shrapnel grenades, JUST as the webbing is torn aside... would hate to break the cover... for now, you pocket the shrapnel grenades.

Action 1-2: I respawn.
Action 3: I start to get nausea and decide to give it to the Sealed Summonspitter

STORY CONTINUES WHEN I GOT THE WHOLE THING PLANNED OUT!!!

Click to shrink...

Respawn!

The Sealed Summonspitter feels nauseous! He takes 60,000 Nausea damage!

I revive myself.

I imagine that the Helmet Of Betrayal has spikes or horns on it, so I charge headfirst into the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Sadly, the helmet gets stuck inside the spider, damaging it and removing it from my head.

Click to shrink...

Revive!

The Helmet of Betrayal feels stuck... but you aren't beaten so easily! You manage to PRY it off your head using the Itsy Bitsy Spider's flesh, finally and properly getting it off your head! Your inventory is clean!

x2:
Eyowe revives in [Lemon] Quest style.

x1:
Now that he is [Lemon] Quest himself, Eyowe must now do the next best thing to that: advertising [Lemon] Quest/himself. Eyowe sets out to advertise [Lemon] Quest/himself to the nearest entity he sees.

No officer I swear the Itsy Bitsy Spider being the closest entity to Eyowe was totally a coincidence and I'm not just narrating stuff to our advantage.

Click to shrink...

Lemon!

After hearing your incredible x8 temptation spiral, the Itsy Bitsy Spider is feeling pretty tempted! They decide to spend half their attacks this turn on lemon quest!

Into the breach men! EternalStruggle has opened a gap! CHARGE! SAVOIAAAAAAAAAA!
FOCUS!
I create a massive spear, and throw it forward at the largest thing behind the webbing (likely another barrier) It should drill through that thing and open a path.

Click to shrink...

The spear cracks the glass on the window, neatly removing it as an obstacle! Itsy Bitsy is now totally unshielded! They still haven't noticed you...

Personally, I hate lemons. They're sour and thats not a taste I like.
[2x] REspown
[1] I point out the Zombie was still bribed, and Sealed Bosses maintain mental continuity across unsealings so it's on our side now.
Then I point it towards the Sealed Summonspitter and throne.

Click to shrink...

Respown!

The zombie is too stupid to remember its on your side! It trips while charging at The Throne, and dies!

Unsealed Zombie slain!

...(So apparently at some point that thing was strong enough to be a legitimate boss fight?)

A loud eruption of dirt shoots up from the ground as a coffin rises up from six feet under, a gleaming object made of bones, gold, and polished oak wood. The coffin swings open and I step out, newly revived, with a pained expression plastered across my face. That accursed spider, that one entity surpasses the threat of all the Sealed Bosses in my opinion. (x2)

With most of my power having been devoted to bring myself back I merely get to work finishing the necklace of spatial warping for the Temporal Guardian. With that finished at least we'll have something to counter the Itsy Bitsy Spider's attacks towards the Temporal Guardian for a turn. If no one wants to distract the spider, very well. As long as I can get this out the Temporal Guardian will be saved from an otherwise fatal blow. (x1)

"Temporal Guardian your targets today are the Unsealed Lightshard and Starscream, assuming they're both still on the PG side. Crusher's idea of trying to use the Lemon Quest NPC as cover is a good idea, invincible things are just asking to be used as a shield, so if it's possible go for it."

To all other entities I tell them to ignore the Sealed Throne and the Sealed Summonspitter, those unsealing is not what we need right now and we all know you entities have a habit of doing the worst actions possible when left alone. No offense, the last has just made me cautious.

Click to shrink...

You are resurrected! The spider can't keep you down!

You feel the itch of Lemons. You deploy one of Crusher's drones to save time. There are 2 drones left, but your action isn't wasted.

The Temporal Guardian now has the spatial necklace once again! They can be saved from an Itsy Bitsy Spider rampage!

The quiet watcher is shocked to see Old Man Henderson in the league of hated fictional characters, but he wasn't going to worry too much about it. Instead, he shouts to him, "The Itsy-Bitsy spider and its allies stole and destroyed your gnomes!" Being Old Man Henderson, that would undoubtedly lead to its death if everything lasted long enough.

He then preforms a speedrunning strategy for the Lemon quest, and trades away the unsealed Lightshard before it can react for the Eyowe chandelier, which was going to be necessary later in the questline as a necessary item that normally involved getting a lightshard from the elemental plane of light. The fact that an unsealed lightshard was available meant that he could skip a few hundred steps straight up, though he did burn his hands from how fast they moved to handle the trade before anything happened. Still, that automatically removed the unsealed lightshard from any side, as it automatically became an item during the trade.

Finally, he cuts out the middleman between the sealed assassin and its intelligence, mostly by removing its brain and giving it to the unsealed zombie to eat.

Click to shrink...

Old Man Henderson's grumbling continues. Gnomes, too? He'll investigate it once he's done with this dagnabable NPC.

Twice, you feel the temptation of Lemon Quest! You end up deploying the last of Crusher's drones in order to still complete your actions.

The Sealed Lightshard goes on a rampage in the NPCs inventory, killing a bunch of NPCs and eventually making it back onto the battlefield! He takes 100,000 damage in the process, but you find yourself 100,000 steps further on in Lemon Quest! One extra thing: With all the NPCs dead and the order of the quest once again violated, Lemon Quest loses 30% functionality!

Lemon Quest functionality is reaching dangerously low levels... NPCs are giving you false directions, re-giving you quests after you've already completed them... with liberal usage of the multiple online guides for Lemon Quest, you're still managing to make some progress, but you're worried at some point the chain will get severed and stymie progress entirely.

I just don't die. The Itsy Bity spider killed me but I was feeling rather disgruntled about being randomly chosen as the sacrifice so I just didn't die.
I was so disgruntled about being chosen though that I spent two entire actions complaining about it on the internet, which no one will ever see because the internet is frozen in time.
(tl;dr: 2 actions spent respawning)

Final action:
I wander over to Old Man Henderson and tap him on the shoulder.
I quickly step out of the way, avoiding his angry shotgun blast, and hold up my hands.
"heeeyyyy no, no, I'm a friend. Well, maybe. Me and my buds are doing something for Old Man Jenkins, who seems to be your friend, right? That means our interests align, at least, right now. Tell you what, I know where Jenkins is, I'll show you the way."
I gesture for Henderson to follow me. After moving about 100 meters and ruining 50 different extensively planned tabletop RPG campaigns, we arrive at Old Man Jenkins' house.
"Knock knock, Old Man Jenkins? Guy by the name of Henderson says he wanted to check up on you."

Click to shrink...

Henderson is temporarily distracted from the Lemon Quest NPC by the promise of his old friend! Old Man Jenkins invites him into his house, and they get to chatting...

Old Man Henderson is going to be off the field for a little while!

1. Respawn
2. Respawn
3. I paint Dragon of Hope's helmet black and since the helmet is covered in paint it can't see and therefore can't make someone betray their team.

Click to shrink...

You're back up.

DragonofHope's Helmet is already off, so you do it to CaptainNZZZ's gauntlet of weakness instead! Now the gauntlet can't see and therefore... can't... be weak...?

CaptainNZZZ's inventory clean!

I summon several POW blocks (as entities), which will cause a large, PG-damaging shockwave when hit with enough force. Fortunately there's nothing on the field that will lift them into the air and then drop them afterwards or anything, right?

Since Ray is destined to die soon, we dont actually have to go out of our way to attack him. He's going to die either way. Instead, I murder Scrappy Doo with poor CGI.

For my last action, I spit at lemonquest thieving my actions. And spit at starscream. Water causes himm to short circuit and explode.
I remember that being canon I think.

Click to shrink...

A POW block is now on the field! Uh oh...

Scrappy Do slain! Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. FINALLY.

65,000 damage to Starscream! Well, its canon NOW!

FOCUS

I summon a few hundred ordinary garden gnomes and give them to Old Man Henderson, placating him.

Click to shrink...

A vast army of garden gnomes appear outside of Old Man Jenkins house. Henderson will notice, once he leaves.

(One of your actions is spent collecting 10 bear butts for Lemon Quest)

The heir does something smart and throws up an obsidian barrier over one of the small holes. Should buy some time, allowing the others to do some real damage.

Click to shrink...

An obsidian barrier quickly appears over a Small Hole! The spiders can't use it anymore! One source of reinforcements is eliminated!

I introduce Henderson and Jenkins, then I inform them Go An Na RAILROADED us. Not only that, he's using Cake Quest to RAILROAD us, even just RNGing our actions away.
x3. I whip out a shotgun. This isn't any shotgun. This is the Shotgun of the Blaster the Third, slayer of the Dragon of Notgoanna, antique of the Gun Elemental Titans. It is a legendary weapon, revered by many throughout the Planes. I hand it to Henderson, a gift, a powerful weapon.

Click to shrink...

Henderson and Jenkins quickly have their discussion turn to matters of Go An Na. Jenkins has been seeing Go An Na every day he leaves to mow his lawn, and its becoming a real problem! Henderson nods. And the railroading just makes it worse! Grumbling continues.

Henderson's attack increases! It looks just badass enough to be suitable for him. He's beginning to wonder now if his allegiance was really the correct one. Is this a gift, or a bribe?

Alrighty. The weaker threats...

3 ACTION FOCUS - BLOW EM AWAY!: I channel my energy into one giant burst, meant to kill the weaker threats. "Eat this!" As I unleash, the smaller threats are terrified. However, they get Half-Life 2 energy orb.jpg'd.

OOC: Also, next turn, let's beseech that Moniker helps us complete Lemon Quest in some way. A multiplier, perhaps?

Click to shrink...

Even as you try to smash some weaker threats, you can't help but spend some time running around in the hope of Lemon... 2 parts complete...

Your anti-weaker threat blast eliminates the Sealed Assassins of Power and Speed! They fall to the ground, ready to unseal...

(x2)I wander around as a soul before entering a Paradoxdragon Clone as my new vessel. //Respawning

(X1)Lemon Quest??:I Create the Second Draft of the Treaty of Economics as my Clones begin pushing out the second phase of it's integration into the Economics

Click to shrink...

The Treaty of Economics is achieving more adoption! People are more and more using money for everyday tasks! A bit more of a push...

Action One: I read the cake-hunting guide for dummy's. (Fine print included)

Action Two: I summon another instance of SCP-871

Action Three: I summon cake-hunting gear.

Click to shrink...

The cake-hunting guide tells you that its advice ONLY applies to Cake Quests, and not Lemon Quests. It gives you a piece of advice that if you exploit this bug a certain way, clip through the ground at the start, and get the Demonic Xylophone from the Nether, you can complete Cake Quest with only one action! Man, its a pity you're doing Lemon Quest.

Any day now, the cake apocalypse will start... ANY DAY!

You are now loaded to the brim with cake-hunting gear! Of course, its all worthless if you're really hunting for lemons.

Action 1+2: I attack the Itsy Bitsy Spider with a spider squisher made of spider spouts.

Action 3: The Itsy Bitsy Spider wants, no, needs the Lemon, and therefore wastes attacks trying to destroy the factors of size and intelligence that keep it from completing parts of lemon quest.

I also ask Defender E to use the mortar on the League of Game of Thrones characters.

Click to shrink...

The Itsy Bitsy spider recoils once again, but only takes an ordinary 100,000 damage!

The Itsy Bitsy Spider is going to waste 30 more attacks on Lemon Quest!

So, it is its integrity as a boss that keeps them from participating?

Alistair does not have a nice grin. Invoking the very power of shenanigans themselves, Alistair steals the boss tag and, using the very nature of the instability of the Lemon quest, somehow entangles it into the Quest! Now if the Itsy Bitsy Spider wants to get it, they'll have to participate in Lemon Quest! And good luck for it- it's at least 552 Tasks into the thing from the moment Alistair nabbed it! Action 1 down.

Then for his second Action, Alistair points out that the Rings of Temptation are all explicitly for Cake Quest, but there's no more Cake Quest, just Lemon Quest. The Ring he is wearing, in fact, realizes this in horror and leaves, now freshly out of a job.

However, Alistair feels that familiar feeling. A feeling he has known all of his life. The feeling of incredibly acute guilt for doing something bad and making people feel horrible when he thought he was doing a good thing. With his third Action, he hires the now out of work rings to repair Lemon Quest's Integrity, so that TM Bad Things don't happen! considers hiring them to deal with the integrity, but instead gets a better idea.

EDIT: Alistair, with his third Action, hires the Rings to tie up 11 of the Itsy Bitsy Spider's legs each, removing 77 of its actions since there were seven rings! Now, how can this work? Well, for one, the legs are really thin at the end for maximum stabbiness.

For another I'm invoking the Arbiter Action that the updop says we still have!

Click to shrink...

The Itsy Bitsy Spider screeches and totally loses itself barreling into Lemon Quest! Yeah, its not attacking this turn.

The Ring of Temptation, in shame, leaves your inventory and latches onto the Itsy Bitsy Spider! Now, its reducing its number of attacks by... SEVEN? What a disgusting number!

Uneaten Actions 1 and 3: I stop up one of the holes with a plug of various materials.
Action 2: I summarily execute the worst Game of Thrones characters from the League of Game of Thrones characters based on convictions for various death penalty-carrying crimes that they were convicted of by a logic engine. I even have the documents to prove their convictions!

Click to shrink...

Another Small hole is stopped! Enemy reinforcements are completely cut off! Woohoo!

The moment you poke your head out of the Itsy Bitsy Spider's body, you feel Lemon Quest calling! Wait, but you thought it was - Lemon Quest. It was Lemon Quest all along. You rush back to it, now totally outside of the Itsy Bitsy Spider, and complete 2 parts real fast!

'I never was fond of dogs, or at least cartoon dogs.' I think to myself as I spy Scrappy Do from across the field. 'Well I guess it would be a bit immoral of me to simply kill him as he is just a puppy so how about I have him sent to the pound instead?' Closing my eyes I focus a bit of my energy onto my wish. 'I wish for Scrappy Do to be teleported to a pound in a alternate universe!' Suddenly a red flash of light appears under Scrappy Do, Scrappy Do looks down below him for a moment and sees a Red portal leading to a cage, Following cartoon physics gravity only now takes effect and Scrappy Do is sent plummeting down to his new home for the foreseeable future. The portal then closes behind him. (1 CP)

'Well hopefully that is dealt with. Now how about patching up and pulling down Misaka Mikoto.' Looking up in the air I see that Misaka Mikoto is very high up. 'Hmm okay maybe Patching up and giving a attack shield to her.' I focus the rest of my power into my next two wishes. 'I wish for Misaka Mikoto to be healed and given a Attack shield!' Suddenly in a flash of red light next to Misaka Mikoto a stimpack from Fallout appears next to her and then injects itself into her, Nearly instantly healing her for all of the damage she has taken. Next a red ring appears on her pinky finger. Looking it over she can red a label on it which reads one time use ring of protection. If she is attacked then the ring of protection will activate and form a shield around her protecting her from harm. (1 CP for healing, 1 CP for attack shield)

Click to shrink...

Scrappy Do is, unfortunately, already dead. Instead, you send some Game of Thrones characters to the pound, since they're basically dogs. 70,000 damage!

Misaka Mikoto gets +50,000 max/60,000 current HP, and an attack shield! She calls down that she, as a tsundere, is NOT grateful!

I use one action to take out a huge axe and chop the Unsealed Zombie in half, then use my other two to cover Starscream in flaming napalm.

Click to shrink...

Your first action ends up wasted on Lemon Quest, so instead you burn Starscream to work out your anger at yourself for failing to resist! 110,000 damage to Starscream!

-----------

AG:

Inside the Itsy Bitsy Spider, the truth is now revealed... everything was controlled by Itsy Bitsy all along! Now's your chance to strike! What will you do? Your allied small spiders and the Lava clean up the remaining enemy small spiders.

The Temporal Guardian smacks the Unsealed Lightshard! Unsealed Lightshard slain! The Temporal Guardian also hits Starscream, killing him as well! No neutral defections for them!

Misaka Mikoto begins to drift a little closer to the Earth...

The Ebon Dragon considers their position... Yeah, no. The AG team sucks. He's back on the [PG] side!

The UEF commanders shoot at the League of Game of Thrones characters, dealing 120,000 damage to them!

PG:

The Itsy Bitsy Spider charges towards Lemon Quest, and completes 176 parts to reclaim its boss tag! Unfortunately, that was all 88 actions it could put towards Lemon Quest. Now it can't do anything else this turn.

The Sealed Assassin Speed and Power version rise back up, like the oppressed gamers they are! They are now the UNSEALED ASSASSIN SPEED/POWER!

The Sealed Throne focuses all its efforts on the POW block, which suddenly seems surprisingly appealing! It levitates it high up in the air!

The Unsealed Lightshard now destroyed, the SEALED DARKSHARD comes out from behind its bush! Now, its on once again!

The Sealed Summonspitter realizes it forgot to summon last turn, and doubles up this turn! It summons the Press F to Pay Respects and Sentient Shotgun to fight you!

The League of Game of Thrones characters attack the UEF commanders, destroying 2 of them!

Old Man Henderson's brow furrows as he notices the stack of garden gnomes outside of Old Man Jenkins house. Surely anyone who gives him gnomes can't be completely irredeemable.

N:

The Defender Captain commands his troops to set up a Barracks! The Barracks will produce a number of Autosoldiers each turn to help.

-----------

More League of Most Hated Characters enemies show up to harass you!

Gandalf appears! He realizes that he must side with the Players, to stop the villainy of Go An Na!

Pionoplayer from DLE appears! If Reality wasn't already broken, it would break a second time. As it turns out, there was an infamous movie released back on Earth a while ago called "Destroying pionopLayer English", wherein a character named Pionoplayer starred as the main villain. He was surely the most hated character of all, so its reasonable to let him through. This Pionoplayer is obsessed with being good and right. All it takes is a little talking to from Go An Na to convince him that the morally correct option is to kill the Players here.

Superman appears! Being Superman, he joins the side of the Players. Feel free to kick him out - he'll probably take all the credit, like the jerk he is.

Ca-LEMON Quest Hater appears, Eyowe's least favorite character! He's going to try to reduce the Integrity of Lemon Quest to 0%! Better stop him! He might be fat, shoving cheetos into his mouth, and seemingly busy posting about how bad Lemon Quest is on Reddit, but he's dangerous!

The Great Destroyer appears! He strolls up... uh oh. You're detecting Godmodder-tier levels of power. Kill it. Fast. Use attacks that could damage the godmodder!

Looks like there's not too many more of these Most Hated Characters left in the pipeline. A little less than 2/3rds of these guys are on the field or dead right now. Keep cutting them down!

------------

Arbiter action is a go! Tell me what you need!

MINECRAFT VALLEY:

ITINERARY:
-Destroy the Tower to Win the Sidequest you're currently in!
-Destroy the Itsy Bitsy Spider! You've found the truth - how are you going to use it?
-Find a way to finish Lemon Quest!
-Kill every Sealed Boss!
-Remove ALL the harmful items from everybody's inventory!
-Defeat the League of Most Hated Fictional Characters! More are showing up each turn!
-Suggest a good action for the Arbiter Action!

Arbiter Power: Ready!

Field Effects: Lemon Quest promotion (Non-boss enemies have a 10% chance to do lemon quest)

[PG]The Itsy Bitsy Spider: 888,888,743,888/888,888,888,888 HP, 88,888,888 x 77A (Boss)(Massive)(angry at FlamingFlapjacks)(weak neutralization resistance)(has necklace of death x 2 - dies x 2 every third turn?)(Helmet of Betrayal x 2- betrays allies sometimes?)
Incision leading inside underbelly (Leads to being caught Inside the Web)
Inside the Web:

Spoiler

Exit: Open!
[AG]EternalStruggle: 16/20 HP (has can of Spider-B-Gone)
[AG]Ender_Smirk: 17/20 HP
[AG]Daskter: 20/20 HP (holding handful of shrapnel grenades)
[AG]Ranger_Strider_: 20/20 HP
[AG]Lava (Killing 3 Small Spiders/turn)
[AG]Small Spiders: 10,000 x 2 HP, 10,000 x 2A

[PG]Small Spiders: 10,000 x 0 HP, 10,000 x 0A
[PG]Itsy Bitsy: 1,000,000,000/1,000,000,000 HP (controlling the Itsy Bitsy Spider)(currently unaware of your presence)

[PG]Unsealed Assassin - Power: 120,000/120,000 HP, 40,000A, Special: Crushing Blow: 0/2 (Boss)
Unsealed Assassin - Speed: 70,000/70,000 HP, 5,000 x 3A, Special: x6 Knife Insanity: 0/3 (Boss)

[PG]Sealed Throne: 390,000/500,000 HP, Levitatex2!A (Boss)

[PG]Sealed Summonspitter: 210,000/300,000 HP, Summon!A (Boss)

[PG]Sealed Darkshard: 400,000/400,000 HP, 30,000 x 4A, Modes: FA(switching in 2!), P(switching in 4!), Specials: Glass storm: 0/1(Boss)(??? effect)

[PG]League of Game of Thrones characters: 450,000 HP, 120,000A

[PG]Old Man Henderson: 3,000,000/3,000,000 HP, 400,000 x 8A (analyzing the situation)(new skill developer)(OFF THE FIELD)

[PG]Press F to pay respects: 70,000 HP, 300,000A

[PG]Sentient Shotgun: 100,000 HP, 50,000 x AllEnemies! A

[PG]Ebon Dragon: 500,000/500,000 HP, 200,000 x 2A (50% chance of betraying current team each round)

[PG]Pionoplayer(from DLE): 1,000,000 HP, 70,000 x 5A, Special: Smashpost: 0/2

[PG]Lemon Quest Hater: 100% Hatred (sustained by Hatred of Lemon Quest)

[PG]The Great Destroyer: 3/3 HP

[PG]NPC: Managing Lemon Quest! 349,418 parts remaining! Functionality at 40%! 10 parts complete/turn! (Invincible)(All part completion doubled)

[AG - CaptainNZZZ]Temporal Guardian: 4,205,000/6,050,000 HP, 500,000 x 2A, Special: Za Warudo: In use! (-10,000 damage from all attacks)(20% dodge rate)(+200,000 HP per turn)(miniboss)(poison resistant)(has spatial warping necklace - saves from fatal blow)

[AG]Misaka Mikoto: 305,000/350,000 HP, 100,000A, Special: Railgun: 2/2 (Levitated! Back down in 2!)(protected from 1 attack)

[AG]UEF Commanders: 70,000 x 2 HP, 30,000 x 2A

[AG]Gandalf: 300,000 HP, 100,000 x 2A

[AG]Superman: -----/----- HP, One-Hit-Kill!A

[N]Pow Block (hurts all enemies if levitated then dropped)(Levitated! Back down in 3!)

[N]Cover Wall: 500,000 HP (can be used as shelter)(defending Tower as well)

[N]Barracks: 600,000 HP (+10 AutoSoldiers/turn)

[N]Mortar: 400,000/400,000 HP, 400,000A (needs to be operated manually, can be fired once per turn)

[N]Defender Captain: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender A: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender B: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender C: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender D: 20/20 HP
[N]Defender E: 20/20 HP (designated mortar operator)

[N]The Tower: 500,000 HP

Curse of No Charging

PLAYERS:
Alastair Dragovich: 17/20 HP (has Gauntlet of Weakness - deals 25% of normal damage)
Arsenical: 17/20 HP
Bill Nye: 20/20 HP (has Gauntlet)(has boots)
Captain.cat: 20/20 HP
CaptainNZZZ: 20/20 HP
Cephalos Jr.: 20/20 HP
Crusher48: 15/20 HP
Dangan_Machin: 20/20 HP
Dragon of Hope?!?: 20/20 HP
Eevee Shadow Bacon: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation - twice as susceptible to Cake Quest)(has boots of slowness, only gets 2 actions per turn)
FlamingFlapjacks: 20/20 HP (has tophat - contains 1 boots of slowness, 1 helmet of betrayal)
General_Urist: 20/20 HP
GoldHero101: 20/20 HP
Joebobobob: 20/20 HP
Karpinsky: 20/20 HP
Krill13: 20/20 HP (has Ring of Temptation x 5 - currently 800% susceptible to Cake Quest)
Paradoxdragonpaci: 20/20 HP
Pionoplayer: 20/20 HP
That-Random-Guy: 20/20 HP
The_Quiet_Watcher: 20/20 HP
The_Two_Eternities: 20/20 HP
The Ego: 20/20 HP
Vylad: 20/25 HP
Winkins: 20/20 HP (has Epipen)

Current Player Power: 50,000

OOC: The next update will be on Tuesday, rather than Sunday like normal! However, in the meantime, I will try to update the main post on Sunday to get the "Story so Far" section up to date!

 

[EternalStruggle]

ES isn't taking chances with the Great Big Can of Empty he probably has. This was just way too easy besides. Of course, if that was a cunning trick by GoAnNa/the universe and this really is the way to do it and he tries something conventional, that probably won't work either. So that's all not great.

Luckily, he has a third option available to him. "Moniker, seriously, this time listen to me, this one is important." He withdraws two Spider-Subjugating Objects from his jacket: the Great Cup of Capture and the Blessed Paper of Sealing. Are they an entirely normal glass cup and sheet of blank paper? Possibly.

Using the power of Infinite QM Favouritism to reinforce the objects, and using spatial warping to widen the window if needed, he quickly reaches in, scoops up and traps the True Spider, or Itsy Bitsy as it seems to be called, before speed walking out of the giant spider mech and back over to the AG lines, decisively captured creature with him. That should solve the problem.