It would be better to have something going on while the hiatus is active, right? For the next few weeks, how about we try something completely different? @The Ego will now be in charge of GMing for the next few weeks. GMing what, you may ask? A boss fight against Thanos, the Mad Titan. That's right, you're fighting Thanos now. You can roleplay in this bit, but it's doubtful whether it'll be canon or not. Just enjoy the ride, alright?
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
[A] Mind Gem. Take over any Non-Elite Entity. [A] Time Gem. Stun any Non-Elite Entity for 2 rounds. [A] Reality Gem. Summon a 50-Charge Entity with an action. [A] Soul Gem. Can store any Non-Elite Entity inside.
Blue fire mysteriously begins to appear, swirling around. Slowly, it forms into a shape, solidifying into a robed figure. With.. a eye for a head? Okay then. The figure raises their hand, and more blue flame appears, shaping into a large, floating hand. The figure snaps his fingers, and two more hands appear. He gestures towards the time gem, and the hands, which begin duplicating, rush towards it, grabbing it. More hands appear, shoving away Thanos and his friends, bringing the Time Stone back to the figure, who takes it. "A powerful artifact, already? Well then."
He then abuses the powers of the time gem, sending more of these hands back in time, where they hunt down Thanos as he finds the Power gem, and grab it from him, trying to return to the present with the gem.
If he still has actions left, he summons a barrier of time energy, teleporting anyone who tries to take the gem from him back to say... the Big Bang.
11/?? Charges.
Your flaming palms grab the Time Gem. You feel a rush of temporal energies flowing through you. (Don't ask me to describe what that feels like. I wouldn't know.) Thanos' goons are annoyed at being shoved around.
Your hands travel back in time to attempt to stop Thanos from grabbing the Power Gem. Seeing as he currently has it in his possession, you can safely assume that they will (have) fail(ed).
11/50
I am the Cake Descended.
I used to be a normal person like you (points at proxima midnight), But then I took a Cake to the Descendancy.
I made a cake with it.
Then I made more cakes with it!
I became so good at making Cakes with it, it became basically all i knew how to do!
I control Cakes, and bake make cakes.
I have Cakeokinesis!
and...
CAKE. a massive cake appears in the air above Proxima Midnight. it squishes them beneath its girth. while weak in structure, it's a really big cake.
I grab the Reality Gem with the power of pseudopoding around it with various demon pillars. I posted before JOE edited their placeholder, so if I don't get it he gets it.
Welcome to the game, Desparademon (tempted to call you a Pillar Man but whatever)!
You pseudopod your way to the point JOE managed to dig to and, by spinning your pillars like a drill, dig the rest of the way to the Reality Gem, nabbing it. Your methods of perceiving Reality are unbound by your mortal coil. You can barely handle it.
You whip out a shotgoanna ("Hi there I'm Goanna, your plastic pal who's fun to be with! Let's go shoot some bad guys, yeah?!") and shoot Thanos with it. 50,000 damage!
You seize the Soul Gem, and feel... something inside it. You can't quite explain it, but you can feel the essences of a thousand beings long-dead within it.
You attempt to utilize your newfound artifact to tear Corvus Glaive's soul from their body, but find it to be a bit difficult. You engage in a spiritual game of tug-of-war!
Meanwhile, the Soul Gem copies Corvus Glaive's soul and stores it within itself. You can observe it at any time.
The figure summons up even more hands, and points at.. let's say, mister thanos over there. The hands proceed to unleash a rapid punching barrage, smashing Thanos backwards, into a portal made by the time gem, leading to the future, where the heat death of this universe is starting, consuming Thanos in the wrath of a dying sun.
A robot wielding a green laser sword, and wearing decently well built armor, rushes over to grab the mind stone, before pointing his arm at Cull Obsidian, bending the creature to his will. His command is clear: Attack Thanos.
11/50
Welcome to the game, Duelbot 2.0 (at least, that's what I'm assuming you're based off of)!
Cull Obsidian's will is too much to be made to bend before a tincan like yourself (his words). You decide to try and make him physically bend, but that turns out to be far more difficult than you'd expect if all you knew about him was his name.
At the very least that cracking sound was a good sign (for you).
20,000 damage.
12/50
If I have the Reality Gem, I use the Reality Gem to summon...
[AG] The Cake 400,000/350,000 HP 1/3 Let Them Eat Cake 1/5 I Dub Thee... Knight of Kake! 1/11 To Me, Confectionarians!
Passive: A Cake. Can only be destroyed by eating it. may cause diabetes when eaten in sufficient quantities. Delicious.
Passive: Cake = 42. Cakes are The meaning of life the universe and everything. Being so integral to reality, the Reality Gem clearly cannot be stolen while they live, unless this passive is overwhelmed. Powers itself off special charges if necessary.
Let Them Eat Cake: Replace all the enemies Bread/"food" with Cake. raises their food costs, putting them in debt. Strains supply trains, making them starve. provides insufficient nutrients, making them malnourished. Then, reveal control of all Cakes. Enemies may implode.
Even after use, enemies cannot avoid eating these cakes. Cakes taste good.
I Dub Thee... Knight of Kake!: grant a player or entity the Knight of Kake buff, if they accept. The buff has infinite duration, until they die. The Buff makes their health harder to damage, boosts any cake-based actions they do significantly, and forces them to serve The Cake while active.
To Me, Confectionarians!: Buff Knights of Kake significantly. For each knight on the field, spawn several cakes(20,000 HP, has the A Cake passive, protect The Cake). heal Knights by half their mhp. heal yourself by 1/4 their resulting current HP, converted to Cake. Any Cake entities on the field will also heal by 1/3 their mhp, and heal you by 1/5 their resulting current hp. If you have no Knights of Kake, take 100,000 damage by eating yourself.
math: 280,000+(20,00*10)= 480,000 is the base health.
actions are all non-standard.
If I don't have reality Gem, I bake a cake anyway. This Cake will be ready... if Ever the Reality Gem switches ownership, the Cake will be there, forcing the person trying to gain ownership to eat it first. This will take at least a minute, because they have to Savour the taste.
this will give time for others to retrieve the Gem, naturally. Specifically, Me, of Cakes.
12/50
~~~~~~~
I promptly decide to get the heck out of Dodge. And by get the heck out of Dodge, I mean inject myself with Accelerated Perception Serum, increasing my Dodge rate.
You up your dodge rate by 20%. Unfortunately, fast-acting drugs have a tendency to wear off quickly too. This effect will only last until the end of next round, slowly decreasing in potency as time goes on.
"HEY THANOS, LOOK AT ME!"
Unfortunately for Thanos, I am wearing my basilisk costume. Thus, when they look in my direction, they are immediately petrified and lose an action for this turn.
Thanos, not clever enough to put two and two together (the hissing sounds flew way over his head), only barely manages to turn away from you before being petrified. He'll still have to lose an action this round trying to figure out how to work around the danger you pose.
I force Thanos to read utopian fanfiction, making them reconsider their opinions on universal governance and/or seducing Death in the light of reality warping power!
BONUS: If I grabbed the Reality Stone instead of JOE, I summon the Great Distortion God with it! Instead of attacking directly normally, it redirects damage directed toward allies into whatever enemy it would attack regularly. And I guess give it a Distortion charge meter it can use to create alternative worlds and copies or whatever.
You force Thanos to read 1984, broadening his horizons. It may not have changed his views much (although it did so slightly), but at least it distracted him for an action.
This seems like a good time to drop in. and this seems like a good of a time if any to drop in. And so I do and I shoot at Thanos, as well he's the bigger threat.
Oh hey, welcome (back) to the game, Dropop! Currently, we're in the middle of a possibly-non-canon sidequest/intermission (run by yours truly), so feel free to RP and charge and post with Literally Zero Consequences!
You shoot at Thanos (the biggest threat), doing 20,000 damage to him.
Charging: 11/50
"Thanos! It is so good to see you. How have you been?" A small sphere forms in the battlefield. The sphere then seems to open up, revealing a short, blue humanoid with a fin on his head. He wears a strange, purple jumpsuit with red lines jumping around everywhere. By now, the sphere has completely disappeared and the alien steps forwards. "Don't you remember me? Stanglose Brigade? Sector 23? Come on! Ah, I see. You've deliberately forgotten how badly you lost. That's it. Well, you'll probably remember it soon." The alien finally stops talking for long enough to tap a few buttons on his wrist controller. He points his arm at Thanos and a line of light fires out of his wrist. As it reaches Thanos, it stops. The light just sits there staring. "Stupid... I thought I recalibrated it right before I got here." He hits his wrist controller and a spark flies out of it. The light beam starts to cool, solidifying into a dense pole with a point at the end. "I guess I can work with this." The alien jabs his arm forwards, stabbing Thanos right between the eyes. However, as it makes contact, the pole disappears. "Come on! Why isn't this thing working!?" He whacks his wrist again. Suddenly, the light is back, but it all seems to have condensed right in front of Thanos's eyes. The alien presses the fire button again, and the small light pierces right through Thanos's head as a high energy, condensed projectile. "There, did I loosen any recurring nightmares of your harsh loss? I bet I did."
Thanos, having learned and strengthened since his last tango with you mangos, is quick to utilize the Space Gem to create a portal in between his eyes before your spear can impale him.
The other end of the portal is, of course, inside your liver. Ouch.
You've managed to burn one of his (Space Gem) actions, though, which is a win in your book (though not in your liver).
The Robot looks straight at Thanos, who is currently being shot at by an annoying blue alien. He watches the attack with a certain level of... amusement? He then rushes straight at Thanos, giving the mad titan no time to decide to harm the alien. He slashes his energy blade straight across the titan's chest, and then backflips backwards, before stating, "Thanos. Your intents are known to me. My creator tasked me with doing what is right, and defending the innocent, above all else. If you cease this endeavor, then I shall allow you to live. If not, then I am programmed to have to kill you. So please, don't make this harder than it has to be."
12/50
Thanos takes your attack (20,000) in stride. He then begins to speak:
"Robot. Your nature is known to me. I have tasked myself with doing what is right, and returning balance to reality, above all else. If you cease this endeavor, then you may die or live on in peace, safe in the knowledge that you have done what is right. If not, I will be forced to kill you."
He raises his fists to fight you, already secure in the knowledge of your answer. His fists begin to glow with a mauve energy...
12/50? ( what does this mean? First time seeing this in defeat god modder.)
: Cue the High Heavens, The realms of light in which washes down into creation. Making life, Fate, energies and so forth. From this a woman in white clothing with 100 arms and a glowing orange third eye musters a being into creation. The figure takes the form of a man in Black with a silver mask with blue glowing eyes.:
" I have seen this one Thanos. His desire affects only one universe. But the plan is so, disruptive the backlash could cause hope to fall in nearby clusters. We cannot allow this. You, my guardian are to go. Help the ones, stop the mad Titan. I know I could do it with ease. The energy backlash would kill them all though and it is my power more to create."
" Which is why you created me. To be your gun."
" Indeed, now go my agent and happy hunting."
" I hope in the end, I return here. This is the fourth time doing this work. I want to retire already."
" You will come to me in paradise, this I promise you. Try not to die, it gets really hard to fix your body, mind, and soul."
" Off to do my job."
He moves his hands, Strange alien geometry patterns make a hole in space. He then appears in this battle field. Due to riding the existence waves, All was seen as slow motion. His first act he decides on is to check this Thanos Being and aim for his gems. The blue one seems rather important as he attempts to grab it, turning fingers into seizing talons to pry it out as the others distract him in real time. While the agent in hyper time attempt the stone steal.:
Failing that his next plan of action is getting rid of his lackeys.
Welcome to the game, Heaven's Guardian! I see you're adapting to the intermission well enough. I guess you're from DefeaTG, what with not knowing about charging, huh?
Alright, the charge bar (which should only be at 11/50 for you, as it started at ten and goes up by one each round) is a mechanic in most Destroy The Godmodder games (a franchise Moniker spawned long ago, and which Defeat The Godmodder is based on). Normally, the charge goes from 1/(any number from 1-50) to (any number up to fifty)/(any number up to fifty). It increases by one each post, and can be unleashed to increase an action's power at any time. Charging is meant to represent gathering power or resources in the background before performing a devastating move (like charging up a Kamehameha, or slowly constructing a starship).
The rules are somewhere in the OP, if you want to head back there to check them out.
Anyways, you appear in accelerated time, and start prying the Space Gem from his Gauntlet. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a lot harder than you'd expect.
A man named Dragovich appears on the field in a blaze of pure fury. This occurs behind Thanos, thankfully masking his presence from ghe Mad Titan in particular for the moment.
He immediately grabs the Mind Stone and uses it as a conduit for the entirety of his charge at once! He does not mind it being used by the other person. In fact, it's been proven before that multiple entities using an Infinity Stone makes it easier on them to channel it's powers properly.
Plus, it was less being used for it's special ability and more as a conduit for the seething hot furious attack being lobbed at Thanos by the man.
'THANOS! YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!"
He then shows Thanos Solution after Solution after Solution ad infinitum by forcing the imagery into Thanos' head via the Mind Stone. He also forcibly shows the results of his actions, from the past to the calculated future, showing the instances where he effectively killed off everyone because civilization was irreversibly ruined due to the random ass ahlf the population death and thus events such as asteroid collisions and Suns dying wipe out all the life he supposedly saved. He does this forcibly, unignorably, and repeatedly until the power of his Charge runs dry. This is done to crush and kill the Mad Titan's resolve, dealing massive damage Mentally and emotionally.
Dragovich is not holding back. He is filled with a righteous fury and a seething hatred for the Mad Titan's stubborn insanity.
Hello, Dragovich, and welcome to the game! I take it you're new, so I'ma just inform you of the fact that this is currently a non-canon intermission. Feel free to do whatever and have fun.
You grab the Mind Gem. You hear the psychich screams of the sapience surrounding you.
You burn 10 charge mentally blasting Thanos with a dozen different ways he could've made his plan better. Although some more description would've been nice, that's decent enough to hurt him. Severely.
25,000+40,000 Damage to be decided, and one action lost to philosophical contemplation.
"..."
Thanos is now vulnerable to ideological attacks.
12/50
"Really, how does no one remember me!? I fought all of you guys, and none of you want to recognize my existence!" The alien looks around at the battlefield, contemplating why no one remembers him. He then turns back to his wrist controller. He presses a button. The suit begins to be filled with air. It continues to expand out into a large orb. "Oops, wrong button." He starts shaking around, trying to reach his wrist controller. he succeeds, but he instead begins growing more. "I pressed inflate, not deflate! Stupid wrist thingy." He continues shaking, but then starts rolling. He rolls on towards Thanos. "No no no no no. Not towards the purple guy. Anyone but the purple guy." No matter how much he pleads, he keeps rolling slowly, dramatically. He reaches Thanos. As the suit touches Thanos, it explodes, releasing a ton of air into Thanos's face. The alien falls, but is still in his suit. He hits the ground and shudders. "Ugh. It's a good thing I prepared another suit. Just in case."
You blast Thanos with a bunch of air, doing 22,000 damage.
Thanos, works around not being able to look at Basilikeness and the sudden destruction of his philosophy. He, firstly, dispatches of the Duelbot 2.0 by slapping it with the full force of the Power Gem, sending them flying into Desparademon, Karpinsky(?) (whose dodge fails to save them, unfortunately. SOrry man, the dice said eat butt) and Dragovich, crushing them for a solid 20.666666666666666666 damage.
"Solid."
Anyways, all three are killed by the kinetic damage, freeing Thanos from having to justify himself to Desparademon. Murder is standard logic of the mad.
With his final action, he picks up the Mind Gem.
"Perfect. I hear the depths of your minds cry out for mercy. I will grant you the mercy of death."
Cull Obsidian, distracted by that cake, are forced to waste their actions eating it.
Proxima Midnight digs her way out of the massive cake.
Proxima Midnight and Corvus Glaive grab the Reality Gem at the same time. Aww, aren't they a cute couple, barely surviving an onslaught of Reality and opened perceptions? #marriagegoals.
Ebony Maw telekinetically lifts the Soul Gem and observes it.
"Interesting... Very Interesting... Yes..."
Shotgoanna is disappointed in Desparademon's demise, and fires off angrily.
[N][BOSS] Thanos. 383,000/500,000 Hp. 15 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. [A] Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Decimation: Unavailable. [A] Space Gem. 40% pried off. Allows control over Space. [A] Power Gem. Purple. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [N] Ebony Maw. 100,000/100,000 Hp. 125,000 Shp. Has a loose, telekinetic grip on the [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Corvus Glaive. [N] Cull Obsidian. 250,000/250,000 Hp. 5 AC. [N] Corvus Glaive. 150,000/150,000 Hp. 5 ACpierce. [A] Corvus Glaive's Glaive. Ignores AC. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. [N] Proxima Midnight. 170,000/200,000 Hp. 50% Accuracy. Helping Corvus Glaive wield the Reality Gem.
[A] Shotgoanna. +40,000 damage. Angry.
[AT] Flaming Magi. 20/20 Hp. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time. [AT] Desparademon. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Karpinsky(?). 0/20 Hp. [AT] Dragovich. 0/20 Hp.
Thanos dop
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
13/50
I bake a cake. upon the cake are the words "Nedben or whatever your name is, would you be willing to use the Reality Gem to make The Cake?". Then I throw the cake in Proxima Midnight's face. The Trauma of the last Cake burying them causes them to experience such PTSD that they fall down, allowing the cake to hit Corvus Glaive's Glaive into Corvus Glaive's face, leading to both of them dropping the reality gem.
>Equip cakerealitycake reality gem
He was unable to pry the Gem out. Damnit! He then realized he would run out of hyper time soon, disengagement was in order.
He managed to boosted out of range of Thanos and looks to his minions. He had a great, wonderful idea. He began to glow a unsettling green aura as his battle aura flares out and he stomps the arena. Under the surface a patterning disrupting energy weave reached in radius of a Thanos goons. Then converts the area mass, 50 foot wide and 120 feet deep from solid, dense mass to actual energy. This was bad for them. As such a reaction was tons of tnt going off in a mushroom cloud.
A non nuclear nuke basically with atom shengians.
Now has to stay back to recharge. ( that and so busy with stuff already so going to be charging for a while.
14/50
If one of them is still holding on, I make cakes in each direction from them, 6 meters away. The indecision of which CAKE to get first distracts them into not noticing when I steal the Reality Gem, despite its transcendant experiential thingies.
If I have the Reality Gem, I summon The Cake like i wanted to do last time.
[0] Talking.
I bake a cake. The Cake is very smart, and it explains to Thanos that there are numerous ways Descended, Godmodding, The Reality Gem, and other powers in the void could be used to defeat entropy. Furthermore, with the space gem he need but find One universe which doesn't have entropy as a law, and expand it. I know of one where it is avoidable: [insert generic-earth-universe-1 co-ordinates here]. In that particular universe, entropy would normally be an issue, but time-frozen matter behaves like it is of 0 degrees kelvin, which allows them to 'break even' with no net change in entropy over time. If nothing else, one could create a new universe with no entropy law. perhaps a world where things are made of ideas, instead of atoms? At any rate, there are better uses then killing half of reality, and killing 50% of people is wildly immoral regardless.
Thanos contemplates a second before answering.
"I have no access to the powers of Descendancy, nor that of Godmodding."
He then proceeds to tackle your second criticism.
"Morality... mortality is subjective. One might argue that allowing the most lives to exist as possible is what is most moral. Others might argue that some lives are more valuable than others. Perhaps those that exist already are more valuable than those that might be. Others still may argue that quality of life is more valuable than the amount of lives.
By any of these measures, it is better to shed a few branches of the tree off of the tree of life now, before they can continue to split and grow. If we do not, eventually the tree will be unable to sustain itself, and will be uprooted under its own weight before its time is come.
I am the farmer who tends to life, and these Gems are my shears. Should any thorns prick me as I reach for them, then those vines shall be the first to be cut."
Your thieving from Glaive (who is too stunned to fight back) succeeds~ You now have the Reality Gem! Thanos stops you before you use it, though.
"...If you truly believe that the Gems may work that way, then allow me to try them. I beg of you."
Charging: 13/50 "Whoa whoa whoa. I... I didn't think I had a liver? Did I have a liver? I might have had a liver. I guess having a liver is better than no liver. Even if it isn't very happy with me. Well, anyways. It is time to use my ULTIMATE ATTACK! Ha ha ha ha ha!" The Blue Brigadier taps a big red button on his wrist controller. The button begins to glow and flash. An arm extends out of the wrist controller. Out of that extends a humongous barrel. "Ha ha! Thanos won't know what hit him!" He presses the red button again and a huge smoke cloud erupts from the barrel. A bang echoes through the battlefield. Out of the smoke, the ultimate payload fires out. And that payload is... a small plunger with a string attached to it. It flies at Thanos and hits the power stone. "Oh. Umm... ta-da." The alien tugs at the rope. It won't come off. He keeps trying. Nothing happens. Finally, either the Infinity Stone or the plunger gives way and the rope comes flying back to the alien. "Umm... I stand by the fact that Thanos doesn't know what hit him."
The robot looks over at the Arbiter for a second. "Scans indicate you are the Arbiter, but readings indicate you are a different one than the one my maker has encountered. Do you guys have a union, or anything? My name is True Neo, by the way. My creator never gave me a clear answer on why. He always said something about having worked a bit more on the defenses." True Neo then rushes to the mad titan once more. He puts away his sword, and his hands become laser emitters. He swings them around, front and center, and then shoots the laser beams, focused by a floating prism that came off him as he moved, with the beam going straight into the power gem. The gem is in fact a crystal, focusing it further, and then the blast comes out the other end, straight into the gauntlet, forcing the gem further out of the gauntlet.
13/50
I, uh, arbiter?
Uhhhh, you aren't supposed to be able to see me. Or this. Any of this. You're supposed to be "in character", I think.
I'm not quite sure how any of this is actually supposed to work. I just stole this laptop from my boyfriend while he was out and have been running this program out of boredom ever since, honestly.
The file with the instruction manual crashed every time I tried to open it, so I'm just winging this here.
I, uh, hope I'm doing alright.
Failing to take advantage of the plunger does nothing to diminish its helpfulness, somehow. +35% removal of Power Gem.
He then looks to see that things, are far from over and just getting a breather. Hopefully blast would harm/kill or distract them from the gems. That purple bastard has three of them!
He needs more energy, yet right now not sure what to do! He will need to be trickier with the gems. That damn space gem. Also has a idea of what to do to Thanos. Though it maybe much. Something with more energy, he forgot his place.
This is not the realm of light, he has to work on physics of this universe otherwise would blow it all to hell.
Oh gorillaing dammit , they're all dead. Oh well. I teleport over to Thanos, and level my hand at him. The time stone glows, and a wave emits from it, the area around it.. glitching, for lack of another word. The time stone flies up, and...
Slams down, too fast to be grabbed.
Thanos is thrown backward, onto the glaive.
He then notices the armada of hands slowly advancing towards the space stone, swirling around, slowly prying it, and...
5 CHARGE EXPENDED!
They glow, and the power of the time stone speeds them up, and they speed up, ripping it out, as a few more hands grab the glaive from the owner's hands, and out of Thanos's back, and chuck it at high speeds into thanos's head, as I grab the Space Stone from my minion hands, and speeding myself up with the time stone, and running, getting as far away from thanos as I can while the hands hold him down, until i get out of range and the hands explode, no longer sustained.
You manage to nearly steal the Space stone, although Thanos just barely manages to hold onto it! It's almost there, though! One more action should do it!
The Glaive and exploding hands do about 20,000 damage (ignoring his armor entirely). Corvus Glaiveless panics!
OOC: (Nope. Arbiter is name for the DM. They technically exist in universe as an arbiter. Mostly just yell at us. Occasionally useful for plot knowledge dispensers. Only good for deep plot. Mainly wanted to be conversational.)
IC:
14/50
True Neo continues his bid for the power stone.
He suddenly shrinks, saying "Pym particles activated." He shrinks down to a ridiculously small size.
He then flies over to the infinity gauntlet. But here is the thing. He is smaller than the gems. There is room under the power stone currently, both from previous prying attempts, and also the fact that the space stone could be grabbed by claws. And he is small enough that the distance doesn't need to be much. He climbs under the stone, and then prepares himself for what comes next.
He says, "Enlarging particle dose, go." He suddenly begins growing towards normal size, from directly between the gauntlet, and the stone. The stone is loose by this point, and he pushes with all he has, kicking it up and out as he grows. By the time Thanos can see him, since the mind stone isn't helping with a robot with circuitry where a brain would be, he has already forced the stone to separate from the gauntlet fully. He pushes a button appearing on his arm, and he jumps back to normal size. He then rushes away, not wanting Thanos to try to get the thing back too quickly.
Charge expended= as much a necessary, used to maintain integrity while pushing the gem from the gauntlet.
You easily manage to pry the Gem without expending any charge, thanks in no small part to the plunger you again don't explicitly use! The Power Gem is yours!
EXPENDING 5 Charge
I timestep over to Thanos, and do a series of overly complicated Judo Arts, before slamming a chair into his face! Then, I expend 5 charge, and empower my minion hands with timespeeding up or something, and they work thrice as fast, prying the Space Gem away! I grab it, and run like the wind, using the space and time stone to speed myself up.
Your attempt to use the Time Gem is stopped, as you can feel it eating away at your very fourthdimensional being! You can only use the Gem about once per round without it starting to harm you in some way.
You decide not to attack Thanos.
The Charge is enough to pry away the Space Gem! You're about to grab it, until you remember that wielding more than one Gem at a time is literally impossible for one of your powerlevel. You decide to just leave it there for someone to grab.
Charging: 14/50
"Now, it's time to play... Will I Press The Right Button!? Today's contestants are me, myself, and I! Today, I'll be pressing... this button!" The alien taps a random button on his wrist controller. The button disappears into the controller and becomes a small hole. From that hole, another mechanical arm appears. This one holds a buzz saw. "Yes! Yes! I finally got a good one! Ha ha ha!" The alien presses another button, and the buzz saw starts spinning. He approaches Thanos with a wicked grin on his face. "It's me!" he screams at the mad titan. He swings his arm down and the buzz saw cuts at Thanos. Interestingly enough, the blade hits Thanos's gauntlet arm. The buzz saw cuts it off in such a graphic way that, by the end of the attack, a huge censored box replaces the buzz saw's saw. Anyways, this means that the Infinity Gauntlet is a. Still attached to Thanos('s arm), and b. has been removed. Or, at least Thanos's arm has a paper cut...
Dragovich roars, the roar echoing out... from the Mind Stone! Apparently he somehow had his own mind copied into it when no one was looking! And now the Mind Stone glows with incredible power, its ability being warped in a way not intended, but certainly related to its field - Psychic powers! A psychic shell of Dragovich emerges from the Mind Stone, forcefully grabbing and pulling on it as hard and viciously as possible!
Thanos had no actions disrupted this round (except one stopping JOE from misusing a Gem), and therefore perfectly capable of kicking [redacted], despite having lost two stones this round.
Firstly, he uses the Mind Gem to clear Proxima Midnight of her PTSD, making her immune to cake-based-trauma-as-attacks.
Secondly, he grabs the Shotgoanna. He spins it once, cocks it (incorrectly), and then takes aim at Flaming Magi.
Third action. He fires the Shotgoana. It shouts "Bang!" as it does 20 damage, flat-out.
Not his taste in weapon, personally, but he can't argue with those numbers. Nor with that corpse.
With his fourth action, he heads over to the corpse of his latest victim. He reaches down and picks up the Time Gem.
"I see Time, and I am one with it. I see your futures. My victory shall lead to a perfect life for you. Or perhaps a perfect afterlife, for those that refuse my rule."
His fifth and final action is used to pull an action from the future into the now. A rift in time appears, and from it fires yet another "Bang! Gottem, boss!", as True Neo is hit full-force by the Shotgoanna blast from the future. 20 damage. On the bright side, this means that Thanos won't be able to use it at some point in the future.
Cull Obsidian begin bodyguarding Proxima midnight.
Proxima Midnight grabs Corvus's Glaive and hands it back to him.
Corvus Glaive is still stunned from their holding of the Reality Gem alone and cannot act this round.
Ebony Maw telekinetically continues to observe the Soul Gem from afar.
"..."
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand in come the Calvary!
The A-list Actors arrive, ready for action!
The B-list Actors are here to support the protagonists!
A hundred or so extras just kinda shuffle onto the field.
[N][BOSS] Thanos. 353,000/500,000 Hp. 15 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. [A] Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Decimation: Unavailable. [A] Shotgoanna. +40,000 damage. Excited! [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [N] Ebony Maw. 100,000/100,000 Hp. 125,000 Shp. Has a loose, telekinetic grip on the [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Corvus Glaive. [N] Cull Obsidian. 195,000/250,000 Hp. 5 AC. [N] Corvus Glaive. 150,000/150,000 Hp. [A] Corvus Glaive's Glaive. Ignores AC. [N] Proxima Midnight. 170,000/200,000 Hp. 50% Accuracy. Helping Corvus Glaive wield the Reality Gem.
[A] Power Gem. Purple. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space.
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
15/50
hm... I'm a bit confused.does this mean i do do things or I don't do things?
hmmmmmm....
ah, right! When in doubt, bake a cake!
I Bake another special cake. I love making cakes! but this cake is even more special then the last one! It, too, starts talking to Thanos.
"ahem, testing, testing... hm, it... worked? no, not quite. " "Hm, apparently its harder to take over a descendants mind and body when you are not quite metaphysically identical to that descendant. who'd have thunk it? " "...or maybe I just think its harder. who knows? It seems I'm a cake now. quite Novel, I must say. " "Ah, Thanos. before I continue my argument, I must ask- Have there been any Godmodders fought above or at the level of Omega recently? " "If there have not, it is nigh-impossible for you to win; history would have recorded you in the future. " "At any rate. Perhaps your path would work (Though to my understanding entropy increases in uninhabited regions just as in those inhabited, so it would be better to take direct action to reduce the rate at which it does so in uninhabited regions, first.) " "Your statement as to no access to descendants, while you are literally talking to a construct created by a descendant, while fighting descendants, is rather... strange. Godmodding, on the other hand... There is such a thing as Godmodder Fuel and Chambers, you know. I doubt you would have much trouble acquiring Alpha Godmodding, give your preexisting possession of the Power and Space Gems, and your six actions with 12 php of damage each. " "As for giving you the gem... is there a specific reason you need to hold all the gems at once, which would prevent six individually-capable beings from preforming the same actions in concert? There isn't such a great urgency in this matter as to prevent reasonable discussion as to the possible methods and outcomes (especially with the time stone), and I suspect the Descended in general would be more amenable to working with you to do something if you can convince them it's the right thing, then to giving you unlimited power without being able to take it back. " "Oh, and... sorry in advance. I can't convince the... cake descended... not to bake the Cake with the reality gem on such short notice. "
As for actual action, I make The Cake w/ reality gem. CAKE. (potential expenditure of 15 charge if it'll help The Cake, because The Cake.)
"Your... font. The clashing colors. It is a headache to deal with."
Thanos shakes his head.
"Becoming a Godmodder myself... I couldn't do it. Becoming powerful enough make a difference involves attracting beings with enough power to rival you. More often than not, they do so in a most violent and distracting manner.
As for having access to Descended... well, even if you were to stop attempting to murder me (which I highly doubt, based on the fact that your assault on myself was unprovoked, sudden and is being performed by some horribly irrational and violent people), your powers combined with my own would be nowhere near enough to overcome the Ninth/Zeroth dimension. My way is the only way."
He pauses for a second.
"What did you mean by the bit about an Omega Godmodder?"
He looks disturbed by your words, despite not fully understanding them.
You create The Cake.
"The Paladin. He does not understand how the Reality Gem functions. It believes it to be nothing but a source of power. It is not. It is a powerful artifact that allows control over the element of Reality. He is a fool."
2/50= 0/50 ( I can spend turns recharging right? And I saw a 20 Free charge but guessing that's for other game.)
Sees what has happened and decides to do something about it. He decides to speed to Thanos again and smacks the IG before speeding off. Leaving a imprint that becomes a micro colony for attempting to push out the time stone, while he gets the hell away. Attempts grabbing the Space stone.:
Second act (of three)
While doing this he speaks to Thanos while making a imprint of several universes, arrow to the o e he had in mind.
" Your Plot will not make the universe a better place, it will cause death, pain, suffering and war."
As the image shows universe corroding and other micro verses getting the taint.
" It is such a negative ripple it disrupts life on a subtext Level. Which means it must be stopped. Peacefully or violence. We are well into violence."
((> 2/50= 0/50
I assume this means you wanted to use two charges for an action. Because that's next-to-useless, I will pretend you didnt do that and allow you to be at 3/50 charge. Next post you will be at 4/50. The post after that will put you at 5/50, at which point your charges can *start* being useful.
> ( I can spend turns recharging right?
uhhhhhh, explain?
> And I saw a 20 Free charge but guessing that's for other game.)
Correct.))
The micro colony begins pushing on the Time Gem. Someone has already nabbed the Space Gem.
Thanos looks at you with the disappointment of ten-thousand school teachers. He speaks to you in a similarly shaming voice.
"You are an imbecile. You speak of things you do not understand. You show images and diagrams with no relation to the situation at hand. You know nothing of what I intend to do."
He looks borderline angry at your argument.
"The universe is currently spiraling towards disaster. More and more beings are being born into a harsh, painful life every minute. Uncountable amounts of them will live short lives of suffering that will end in a pointless and horrible death.
Meanwhile, they will drain resources until there are none left. Even for the privileged few who might live peaceful lives were resources not an issue. As poverty rises, so to will crime and violence, until the Void is nothing but a war-torn wasteland of the dying and the dead."
He is filled with renewed vigor by his own speech.
"You are a barbarian who fights not for life or peace, but because you enjoy it. You are the villain that will destroy life as a whole. I am doing what is right. I beg of you to reconsider your position in opposition of the greater good. Join me, and leave a legacy of heaven on earth, as it were."
Riding a bunch of horses, a rampaging mass of Desparademon pillars leads the actual cavalry charge directly into Thanos, running them under heel with a bunch of horses and also demon pillars and...why did Uwashikimaru bring eight boats? Is that a motorcycle? Orobas brought apple pie? Malivenera got rope? Shannon's throwing dishes? Mark's sisters have enchanted swords? Carrie had Beachy Boy? The GCoH forces have police horses? Attila is actually Altera and has laser beams? Marie Antoinette's STAND? Dracian the Minimodder has giant horses? The ponies are running a race? Alex brought a narwhal? The Mongol hordes are here because of Genghis Khan?
Whatever, we'll figure it out running over Thanos!
True Neo begins to reconstitute himself. As he does, his sensors try to figure out how in any reality a shotgun blast of any make managed to do anything to him, let alone take him down. He is a robot for crying out loud. As he scans he figures out that whoever made it built it with emp capacity. And then tried to use it on a living being. Somehow this does not seem wise.
There were, alas, no EMP round in Shotgoanna. The kinetic force of the bullets just happened to be enough to damage your metal chassis. Not exactly impossible, you know.
16/50
Cake! I Pledge allegiance to The Cake and bake some completely identical but powerless mundane cakes, scattering them around. This should make people miss The Cake if they attack! Alternatively, anyone who wants to try my cakes gets the offer of 'join The Cake in exchange for recieving infinite cake.'.
True Neo, now just to be designated Neo in these to save time, finishes his repair cycle. He notices that no one has taken the Power Stone yet, it is still under his hand, and that stone grabbing is effectively a free action. For all these reasons, a compartment in his chest opens up, and he puts the stone there for safe keeping.
You grab the Power Gem, reentering a state of vulnerability. You, meanwhile, feel like you could destroy anything. Conquer worlds. Beat up Timmy from third grade, finally. This is what true power feels like.
Charging: 15/50
"Ooh, actors. I wonder if I can get a job... Never mind! It's button pressing time." He presses a button. Nothing happens. "Hmm... that's not good." He presses the button again. Nothing happens again. He tries another button. Another nothing happens. Finally, he presses every button. Every nothing happens. "Oh come on! I get one good button press and now you stop working! Fine, have it your way." The alien slips off the wrist controller and throws it at Thanos. It flies in the air, covering great distances... if 7 millimeters is a great distance. The wrist controller hits the ground, hitting a button. The button does nothing. "Grr... Why doesn't this thing work!?" He picks up the wrist controller and flips it over to its back. The label reads, "This product was patented by Space Inc., the most generic company you've ever known. If your controller isn't working, simply replace the batteries." The alien groans and does this. Upon completion, he throws the old batteries behind himself. The batteries hit the ground and the tops explode. The alien ducks and yells "What the-" before the batteries go flying over his head and hits Thanos in the face. The alien carefully presses a button on his controller, a towel appears. He wipes his face off and then puts it back. "Sheesh. That label is very misleading."
The remaining cavalry stampede reveals various ranged weapons, and fires at Proxima Midnight! A whole barrage of horseback archers' arrows, laser beams, magic missiles, narwhal electricity, throwing dishes, stakes, apple pie, fishhooks, an actual kitchen sink, and several other miscellaneous items crushes Proxima Midnight!
Charging: 16/50
"Hmm... if we're in a movie, that means that I need a cape!" He instinctively presses one of the buttons on his wrist controller and a red cape sprouts from his jumpsuit. He then proceeds to press another button. The wrist controller starts to move, as if it has a life of its own. The entire controller opens up and a mooing sound echoes within. Suddenly, a mechanical bull comes exploding out of the wrist controller. The inner compartment closes and the bull starts bouncing around. After doing this for a while, the bull stops. It stares right at the red cape. The alien notices this just as the bull begins to charge. He rips at his cape, just barely being able to get it off before the bull hits it. The bull wildly rampages through the battlefield, but ultimately misses everything. Everything except Thanos. The bull rams right into Thanos's chest, pushing him back and goring him with its horns. However, after pushing Thanos for a bit, it just falls apart, being made for convenient storage, not stability. "Note to self: change cape color."
14/50
~~~~~~~~
Then I pull out a Great Hammer and shatter the ice pillar containing Corvus Glaive, embedding many ice shards in his body and also dealing a large amount of damage.
Thanos' confidence is still intact, but his lingering worry over what the Pastry Paladin mentioned earlier remains in the back of his mind.
He decides to solve this problem by taking aim at the source of his bother. With a shotgoanna. "Eat lead, loser! Bang!"
20 damage to the Pasty Paladin, killing them.
He then swings two fists at The Cake. Rolls are good, though, and both attacks hit false cakes.
Angered but defeated, Thanos moves on to the corpse of his kill. He reaches down and grabs the Reality Gem.
"Now, all of Reality bends yet again to my will. And my will is now reality."
Thanos then grabs a B-list Actor and uses the Mind Gem slow their thoughts down, decreasing their dodge by 20%.
Finally, Thanos timestops an A-list Actor for a round, decreasing the group's overall effectiveness.
Ebony Maw has finished studying the Soul Gem. You guys all failed to grab it, despite it being only loosely held. He uses it to scan and copy Proxima Midnight's Soul.
Cull Obsidian attack some extras, doing 22,000 damage to each. Corvus Glaive stabs at an A-list Actor for 42,000 damage, thanks to his Glaive. Proxima Midnight shoots the Extras, doing 110,000 damage because of crits.
The A-list Actors attack Cull Obsidian for 56,700 damage. The B-list Actors support them in a dramatic manner, providing an extra 58,000 damage. The Extras and The Cake do nothing.
The micro colony removes the Time Gem by a small margin.
[N][BOSS] Thanos. 293,000/500,000 Hp. 15 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. [A] Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Decimation: Unavailable. [A] Shotgoanna. +40,000 damage. Excited! [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time. 10% removed. 10% removal/round. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. [N] Ebony Maw. 100,000/100,000 Hp. 125,000 Shp. Has a loose, telekinetic grip on the [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [N] Cull Obsidian. 80,300/250,000 Hp. 5 AC. [N] Corvus Glaive. 80,000/150,000 Hp. [A] Corvus Glaive's Glaive. Ignores AC. [N] Proxima Midnight. 135,000/200,000 Hp. 50% Accuracy.
[AT] A-list Actors. 158,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. Timestopped. 90% effectiveness. [AT] B-list Actors. 250,000/250,000 Hp. -10% dodge. [AT-Dropop] Extras. 268,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 5 [AT-Pastry Paladin] The Cake. 30/30 Hp. 4 Fake cakes (5% dodge/fake cake). Birthed with Reality Element. [AT] Dropop. 20/20 Hp. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [AT] True Neo. 20/20 Hp. [A] Power Gem. Purple. [AT] Pastry Paladin. 0/20 Hp.
Thanos Dop
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Okay guys, wait. I know you've been trying to get past the auto-censor, but it's been blocking all attempts to. It only allows information to be passed by game entities, right?
Give me a bit...
14/?? Charge.
EXPENDING ALL CHARGE
0/?? Charge.
14 charge being funneled into action.
To counter the Shotgonna, I summon the Priceytag. As the Shotgoanna is based off of Goanna, the Priceytag is based on Pricey12345. It's a artifact, so lets go over its powers.
Being a price tag, it has powers over money, cost, and greed, along with limited glitch and jpeg powers, because pricey. It mainly buffs attempts to distract and/or debilitate targets.
It also has the secondary power of being linked to me, in a way. This gives it the effect of being twice as hard to take then regular artifacts, and requires twice as many actions for people who aren't me to use. So for people who are not me, it requires two actions to pick up, and two to use, so Thanos would have to waste two of his six actions.
I equip the Priceytag around my neck, like, well, a necklace of sorts, and project a wall of glitch around me, causing any would be attackers or projectiles to get lagged out when they try and hit me.
The eyes that have known all reflect. A maze of pillars, a cocoon of wrath.
The scenes of death that we have all remembered. I II Ii L, the fall of Titans and Atlantises by the thousand. Empires across genres collapse.
But our real strike is analysis. We explain in excruciating detail the causes of these events and how to curtail them, and recovery in the aftermath should we fail. We show Thanos what their path perpetuates, starting from the suicide of creation and collapse of society that began it. We trace what has been spoken and tear their fouled arguments apart, and explain their twisted logic's unblessed birth as mistaken impulse, with countless voices impossible to ignore, clearer than thought, more comprehensible than all royalty. The origins and processes of strange thoughts and better alternatives are expressed finer than any iron.
No silence, pollution, or mindguard can save the Mad Titan from the uttered unaltered truth.
Thanos is debilitated by all the mental yelling, but he has the Mind Gem to solve that. Muting all but one of the voices, he has an easy time debunking your argumentless argument. He loses an action to this, though.
15/50
Neo looks over the battlefield. He decides that there is only one threat that warrants full force at the moment. He therefore rushes straight at Thanos, before... Tendrils of green energy shoot out of his hands, taking advantage of the space made by the microcolony, and then he pulls with all his strength, discluding the power stone, since he will use that next, using up however much is necessary of his current CP in the process, trying to pull the Time stone out of the gauntlet. If it works, it is launched out in the direction of the alien who keeps yammering about having fought thanos previously.
It's all useless. I don't like that. I remove the concentrated uselessness by making Corvus Glaive take damage from it, due to making the surrounding air useless at handling the immense atmospheric pressure and sonic attacks of existing on a DTG battlefield with all this loud music playing on the ground!
17/50 The Pastry Paladin appears from cake, for he is of cake apparently he didn't die? and still has the gem? and shotgoanna exists in two places at once?
anyway if still has Gem the paladin tries to make The Cake have 'I dub the Knight of Kake' as a special and maybe some of the others.
Otherwise he tries to reshape The Cake to have the special, just without the Gem.
The Special Cake of Talking and "It's me stop describing it already" alright alright.
They apologize for the clashing colors and instead create their words in floating, glowing text format. "ach, anyway."
"Yeeeah, the Paladins an idiot. I think he used to be kinda smart but then I made him like cake."
"It seemed like a good idea at the time, ok?"
"...anyway. The Omega Godmodder."
"Given you haven't heard of him... Of a grand fight of Godmodding and descended... of a court case on ownership of a forgotten star... Of a thousand born and fallen in breaths... of a dark god crushed and resurfacing... and so forth..."
"I am from the Future. Distant or near, I know not for certain."
"I will be and have been and am a descended who joined the initial assault. But I did not come there to fight the new Godmodder. I came to join them, protect them, help them. explore and learn, and, admitadly, i hoped to have a good time in the process. but everyone has vices."
"Time Passed. I helped them. They were stronger then they ought have been. had grand pillars to weaken the descended and weapons from an age long, long, long passed."
"There were some... difficulties, on the level of reality itself i believe, and so I came to myself however long ago, and to 'Adrian Celstus', and insinuated myself into their minds such as I could, even as I was already within myself, taking back power. regardless..."
"The strangeness and difficulties taught me a lot about reality, some of which I have since confirmed."
"The Godmodder I will/have help(ed) was not what was thought. He was an Omega, or perhaps Plus... memory forgets the strangest things."
"anyway, I am from the Future, and in that future I heard no tale nor whisper of your massively parallel killing."
"And so any plan which would lead to such memory is doomed to fail, I feel."
"Also, what ninth/zero dimension, and..."
"Why would you-with-all-6-gems be stronger then you-and-these-descended-working-together-and-wielding-3-gems-each?"
"As for why the Paladin came here to fight you... I wasn't really watching him at the time, not until I felt the Gem, but I'd guess he heard something about the Gems and concluded the Reality Gem would let him make The Cake. "
You respawn, and your action fails. Other than that, your post goes through.
"You're lying. You have to be. That makes no sense that... I...
No. Every element of this universe will bend to my whim. Even time. The future is meaningless if I can win in the now and ascend to the level of power greater than any that have come before. I have to."
I Tell the Extras to..start building a lab for super science. because as Extras, while they may not be Main characters they are extremely adaptable unlike the A or B listers who only settle into one role.
Anyways after I do that I Use the Space stone to summon a pianon over the Mad titan, and let it drop...and then I summon a Giant safe over said Piano and let it fall.
1/??
I level my hand at Ebony Maw. The priceytag glows, and the greed emitting from it is so intense, that I suddenly gain telekinetic powers just so I can get that soul stone. I must have that soul stone. I must. Ebony Maw doesn't deserve it. Only I do.
Ebony Maw finds it quite hard to resist my telekinetic pull. Why? It might be my evil leer. It might be the expression of pure greed on my face. It might be the knowledge that I will not stop until I, and only I, own that stone.
...
.....
Or it might because of the knife in the back of his head. That works too.
30,000 damage (making it past his telekinetic shield by a bit) and Soul Gem stolen!
You feel... you don't quite know what this is. You look inside and see a nice field of grass. There's a farm. Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight's Soulcopies are chillin' inside. You could look further into them, scanning them. Or you could change the afterlife. It seems a bit boring right now, doesn't it?
Charging: 17/50
Bonus: The alien sees the Time Stone fly at him. He presses a button on his wrist controller and a grapple arm grabs the Time Stone and gives it to him. "Oh, um... Thanks? I guess?"
Action: The alien decides to do some physical work. He starts at a slow jog, moving towards Thanos. He speeds the jog up as he nears Thanos. He then slows down, right in front of Thanos. "Yup," he pants, exhausted, "That's enough work for today." He messes around with another button and a boxing glove pops up out of the wrist controller. It nails Thanos right in the face but bounces off pathetically like a pillow. "Rmm, I knew I should have recalibrated the spring mechanism. Fine, lets do this." He then proceeds to press another button on his wrist controller, and an iron piston comes out of it. He really quickly fits it into the boxing glove and presses the release button. The piston extends, and it bounces off like a rubber band. "The pneumatics too!?" Finally, he picks up the boxing glove and puts it on. He winds up his best right hook and slams it into Thanos's jaw. Again, the boxing glove bounces off, with little actual damage to Thanos. "Really!? Man, do I need to get that gym membership." In frustration, he starts stomping on the glove. This causes the thumb of the glove to fall off easily, almost too easily. The alien remembers what it is and leaps away, falling on his face as he does so. The grenade glove explodes at Thanos's feet, knocking him over and finally actually doing something. The alien gets up and brushes some dirt off of him. "Ha ha! I bet that really packed a punch!"
Thanos is knocked over. Getting up is a pain, but he easily makes his armor and self lightweight using the Reality Gem. Still, there's an action gone, as well as 20,000 Hp.
n+1/50, where n= amount I had remaining in charge after my previous action.
Neo looks at Thanos, and then decides to test something out. Suddenly, wires within him all start lashing around inside, all connecting to somewhere. Some go directly to his power core, but others...
Others go straight to the power stone.
As the stone's raw power begins to mix with his normal power, he begins glowing purple, before the energy begins to be changed to his own. At that moment, he glows green. "That seems better."
His energy sword reappears in his hand, followed by a second in the other hand. He then rushes straight at Thanos, saying, "Perfectly balanced. Isn't that how you say all things should be?"
He then pulls a quick slash, which ends up being deflected by the gauntlet. He follows up with a thrust, but somehow, the Gauntlet gets in the way again. He says, "I heard you say something about Descendants not being enough to fix things. My creator disagrees."
He then swaps his blades for blasters, blasting away with a rapid energy barrage, with the gauntlet getting in the way once again. "Do you know why he made me? So that he could make repairs to as many realities, and as many issues, as possible, while still aiding when imbeciles who think that there is no repair decide to destroy more than necessary to make amends, or who actively are just conquerors. "
Neo brings out missiles, and blasts away at Thanos, with the gauntlet managing to catch most of them once more. "I refuse to let you simply destroy the world when a chance still remains. I refuse to let you take lives which may be saved without war."
Neo pulls out flamethrowers, making a ring of fire around Thanos very quickly. "You aim to gain nigh limitless power, but you lack the will to see anything but your little scheme that worked so well while limited. Different resources allow for better methods... Or do you simply love seeing people die off in swarms that much?"
He proceeds to make giant winds swirl at Thanos, pushing him bodily through the flames, forcing the Gauntlet through first. "If you truly want what is good, stop this madness. I may speak with the others, and end this chaos. Then, should I bring you to my creator, he would find a better way. A plan made with limited resources and then carried out with severely less limited resources will not be the best plan for the scenario."
Neo then pushes out his hand, before a different blaster juts out, blasting a frost blast which the Gauntlet, once more, catches. He then lashes out with swords spinning, once more. He preforms several swift slashes, which Thanos manages to parry with the Gauntlet again. Neo then puts them away, before rushing with clawed hands at Thanos, which still gets blocked with the gauntlet. Neo flies up, and then rushes back down, pushing Thanos quite a distance in a short time, although the Gauntlet takes the brunt of the blow. NEo's energy reserves seem limitless. He blasts out a missile array of immense proportions, almost blotting out the sky, but they all tend to get caught by the Gauntlet. The sword comes back out, and he tries to lash out with it, cutting close to hitting Thanos, but still getting deflected by the Gauntlet. He turns his fists into pistons, delivering punch after devastating punch, which Thanos manages to catch on the back of the Gauntlet.
He flies up into the sky, before suddenly changing shape a bit, becoming more draconic in form. His teeth lash out, but only scrape against the metal of the Gauntlet. He then flies around, making a wind storm. The winds all howl, and Thanos is thrust into the sky. As Thanos is flung ever upwards, Neo rushes past, delivering slashes that Thanos just barely parries. Neo then rushes above Thanos, and waits a second, before slamming him down to the ground, with the Gauntlet taking the brunt. He pulls out a battleaxe with an energy blade, and proceeds to hack and slash some more, with the Gauntlet never failing to catch the strikes. Thanos seems confused that the robot hasn't hit him seriously, for all the energy being put out. The robot just smirks.
Neo then pulls out a bow, and fires an arrow of plasma, with an energy line attached, having moved quite far away. The arrow lands on the Mind stone, and he pulls the arrow back with a winch, moving at breakneck speeds, with the Titan in tow. The Titan finally understands, then, the point of this. As understanding dawns on him, Neo's smirk gets larger. He pulls out an energy trident, and lashes out at the Gauntlet, not even keeping up pretenses of aiming at Thanos anymore. Now, Thanos sees that every slash, every blow, was aimed with pinpoint accuracy, keeping up with his every movement. The trident scores blow after blow, forcing the stone slowly further from the Gauntlet. He proceeds to use high focus vacuum guns to pull the gem some more, forcing it slowly further. He throws out water laced with microbots, which lower the coefficient of friction on the stone to close to zero everywhere it isn't currently. Thanos is suddenly very much on the backfoot, since he can't keep up with the speed of this machine.
He uses a quick blast from a Tesla coil based gun to force the gauntlet to become charged, forcing Thanos to not be as able to touch it without great pain, making trying to push it back in harder. He blasts out suction cups with parachutes on them, pulling it with the continually present wind. He continues shifting the heat of the gauntlet with alternating heat and cold blasts. He uses magnets to throw chunks of iron straight into the sides of the Gauntlet, shaking the stone just a bit more loose. He shoots acids and bases into the cracks between the stone and the Gauntlet at high speeds, forcing the bubbling result to push the stone up a bit more. He throws something that seems like a kitchen sink out of nowhere at the Gauntlet, which somehow manages to hook onto it and pull it out a bit more. He sends a code out to the nearby vicinity, pleading to the possible AIs housed within the stone to leave the gauntlet. He uses a crowbar with a tip the width of an atom, prying it a bit more. He pushes with all he has. He then places all his trust in one last attempt. He lashes out with a whip made of pure, raw, energy, and pulls at the Gem. It slowly begins to move, and then, it flies free, straight to the one called Desparademon, right so that he can easily catch it.
He manages to block your initial onslaught with difficulty. He's already handled the argument you bring up numerous time in this very battle, so it does little other than to distract him.
Then, when you finally reveal your hand, it's already too late. With the strength of the Power Gem and the genius of your attack, you tear the Mind Gem right out of the Infinity Gauntlet. The minor side effect of this is that it is ABSOLUTELY SHREDDED! Loss to AC, attack effectiveness, Gem Usability and grip. Also, 20,000 damage on top of that.
: Grumbling while touching the free flying energy and soaking in healthy amounts. Wonders why none of them give him a gem, despite him being among the first to get the startegy if denying Thanos gems, so no snap.:
Normally I'd say that if you want a Gem, go grab it yourself. However, you just got given the Mind Gem. You hear the psychic screams of the yadda yadda you can control Mind now. Conglaturation.
18/50
The Pastry Paladin keeps channeling Reality into The Cake. They try to make being a Knight Of Kake equivalent to low-tier Godmodding in terms of power. "Hey!You should do something other then that!"
The Paladin ignores the dissident voice of one of his cakes, for it is clear The Cake is for the Greater Good.
You channel minimal amounts of Reality into the Cake. Without the Gem, you can't channel much of it. You accidentally summon a Dwarf Reality Elemental.
15/50
~~~~~~~~
I set Corvus Glaive on fire. Normally he'd just put it out, but in this case all the fires are Fire Elementals, who cling onto him and make things rather difficult.
The Dissident Cake keeps communicating with glowing text to most people, and suggests the following to basically everyone: "How about if we all worked together for a year or two to try and fix it without killing half of everyone? the Void has lasted hundreds of years, thousands. two spent making sure everything fits won't end the world. or at least, it is exponentially improbable they do as the time since the begining of the Void increases. If it's proven there is no way to save without cost, we can continue our battle as normal."
</null>
"You don't understand! Every second, millions- no, billions of people are born. Every second! And each of them will live a life of pain and die a terrible death. The suffering and the pointless death can be avoided, but every second you put it off is bringing more evil into reality."
Sparks of energy fly from his Infinity Gauntlet.
"If you can stop the fighting and find a plan that will work without risking so many lives if it fails then I will aid in any way I can. I truly do want the best for as many people as possible."
Charging: 18/50
The alien just decides to let fate decides what happens. He flips the wrist controller off of his wrist and onto the ground. It hits a button and a six-sided die pops out. It rolls a seven. "Alright, button number seven it is." He looks at the wrist controller and presses the air next to it. A low rumble emanates from the spot pressed and a spurt of air puffs up. The air spins around and then flies past Thanos. However, it doesn't miss the wind turbine hooked up to the generator hooked up to Thanos's head. This powers up the generator just enough to send an electric shock through Thanos's brain, dealing more damage than if it just zapped his thick skull. "All that and I didn't even have to press a button. Amazing."
16/50
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suddenly, Corvus Glaive finds himself between a rock and a hard place, where the rock is his own glaive (which I'm pushing down onto him) and the hard place is the unforgiving metal of the Infinity Gauntlet itself!
You impale Corvus Glaive onto the Infinity Gauntlet, doing a solid 35,000 damage. This kills the alien.
His Glaive slowly starts glowing brighter.
Thanos is determined to not be shaken by the Paladin's Cake's words. He could be lying, or insane. He's a CAKE for crying out loud!
Speaking of, he has control over Reality now. He uses it to take control of The Cake, allowing him to locate it.
And crush it. With a Shotgoanna blast ("What? A Cake? Screw that noise.") and a fist of fury.
It is destroyed.
Ebony Maw begins recollecting junk from across the battlefield to reform his shield.
Cull Obsidian mob up against the Extras, dividing (120,000-10,000) by five. 22,000 damage to each Extra group.
Corvus Glaive's Glaive is glowing somewhat. The light it emits is... well, Corvus. Maybe that's why it's called that. Wait, then couldn't you just call it the Corvus Glaive? Or would that just get confusing? Wait, is Corvus Glaive just a manifestation of the Glaive's will or something?
Whoa dude.
Proxima Midnight snipes an A-List Actor for a critted 100,000 damage (-10,000 from AC).
The Fire Elementals scorch Corvus Glaive's corpse out of existence.
The Reality Elemental glares at the Reality Gem... you think. It doesn't really have eyes so you can't t- oh wait there, now it has eyes. Yup. Definitely glaring.
The A-list Actors have yet to be claimed by anyone. Oh well, they'll just use their super powers to shatter Ebony Maw's shield... almost. The B-list Actors finish it off, with 31,000 damage left over to deal directly.
The Extras begin constructing the Lab, which won't be able to be used until it's been fully constructed.
All of a sudden, some kinda magical magic-y kinda thing happens and a totally plot-relevant character is summoned. I- I mean they say "Oh hey guys its me, totally relevant charachter pweron"
Wait crap no that's dumb.
"Oh hey guys, it- nope, still dumb
"Hello my fellow hero people. I am here to chew bubble gum and chew bubble gum. I'm all out of gum so that purple gummy guy will have to suffice."
...No, this is stupid.
Okay, guys, for real. This is literally just my NOT AT ALL A SELF INSERT BECAUSE THE SECOND IT GOT REFERRED TO AS SUCH OR ANYTHING SIMILAR THE PROGRAM WOULD BAN IT. Probably. Anyways, go ahead and ask m- it any questions you may have. I- the thing can't interact directly too much, but it has one action per round. You can suggest what I- I mean it should do, if you want.
[N] Dwarf Reality Elemental. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Shifting. [N] Dwarf Fire Elementals. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Clinging to Corvus Glaive's corpse. x4.
[A] SAFE! Lock: [0,0,0,0,0,0,0]. Who knows what's inside?
[AT] NOT A SELF INSERT. 90,000/90,000 Hp. NOT A SELF INSERT. [AT] A-list Actors. 68,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. [AT] B-list Actors. 250,000/250,000 Hp. -10% dodge. [AT-Dropop] Extras. 268,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 5. +10,000 Hp to Lab/round. [AT-Dropop] Laboratory. 10,000/Insert maximum here Hp. Cannot act until it has been built to maximum Hp. [AT-Pastry Paladin] 4 Fake cakes. [AT] Flaming Mageye. 20/20 Hp. +2 AC for one round. [A] Priceytag. Cash Money: [$12,341]. Distractingly shiny (and has a tendency to scream a lot). Minor control over Code. [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [AT] Dropop. 20/20 Hp. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [AT] True Neo. 20/20 Hp. [A] Power Gem. Purple. [AT] Heaven's Guardian. 20/20 Hp. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [AT] Blue Brigadier. 20/20 Hp. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time.
Thanos Dop
There, that should work, I hope. Good luck guys. You've got Thanos down to less than half of his initial health. You can do this. Just don't screw it up.
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Ask the NON SELF INSERT OF THE ARBITER for advice.
3/?? (+2 from OOC shit)
Hey, NOT A SELF INSERT, what should I buy with my newfound CASH MONEY?
I make a soulcopy of thanos. BECAUSE WHY THE HELL NOT.
I, and the Priceytag enter the soul gem, and tread over to the House. I wave to the soulcopies.
"Hello, friends! I am the bearer of the Soul Stone, and I come to speak with you?"
"If you want my professional, in-character opinion, take advantage of the fact that some people value money than others to take the most of your 12341 charge points.
Oh, yeah, each dollar is worth 1 CP. Approximately."
First of All I notice nobody has claimed the A or B list actors and rally them to my side instead, dubbing the A-Listers Space Marines (Because they're awesome) and the B-Listers as Imperial Guardsmen, not as powerful but still strong humans willing to fight for Survival, after that I summon an Anvil above of Thanos's head, hoping to crush him like a pancake and then I open up the safe to see what's inside. or at Least I try to.
The Actors aren't being payed enough to switch roles like this. Not to mention that props, costumes, writers, directors and so on will all need to be payed before the Actors can properly get into their roles. Now, if only you had access to large sums of money... Hollywood likes that, right?
25,000 damage to Thanos.
You try a random passcode to the safe. 2/3/7/6/1. It doesn't work.
You waste an action doing nothing. You know that you have two actions per round to murder things with, right? You probably shouldnt waste them like this.
17/50
~~~~~
I decide to show Thanos exactly why killing half of everything is a bad idea. First I show him an alternative: creating more resources for people. And life is good. And people are happy. And Thanos feels all of this because of the emotional simulation I'm sustaining in his brain.
Thanos, despite knowing that intellectually this is all wrong, cannot help the feelings his brain is forced to feel. Attack set up, but Thanos will be pissed at you for messing with his brain.
The right of demons to bear and grant Unit Designation is assured among many types. I christen NOT A SELF INSERT with title-name quiddity 'Pweron Dum', in order to be more easily referentiable. After all, most of us aren't self-inserts, so having an alias other than that would stand out more. I second recommending Pweron discuss a good idea for what to spend the CASH MONEY on. If simply granting Name does not require particular action power, I spend the rest of it on granting nobility, that they may have inexplicable nobility powers to insist they can do things and get their way by sufficient drama, stunts, and/or force of will, improving Pweron's action power.
18/18 (using charge on this action)
~~~~~
(payoff from previous action) (also using charge)
Then the simulation shifts. Now I'm showing Thanos exactly what will happen if he persists with killing half of everyone. All the pain from the deaths, all the additional disease and starvation and pain and fear from the inevitable societal collapse, he feels every last bit of it, from everyone in the universe. And I might have scaled it up a little, just for effect.
Thanos desperately wants to stop feeling this pain, the pain of a whole universe. But he can't. I've wired it directly into his brain. The only way for the pain to stop is for him to permanently change course, or for him to literally rip the simulation out of his head. And I'm not sure he can mess with brains that easily.
Thanos... cries? Genuine tears fall from his eyes from his experiencing of all this suffering.
"This... this pain. I understand it. More so than even you could, perhaps. Yet the pain I seek to end will be a thousand times worse, will last till the end of eternity and shall befall so many more people. This is exactly why I must press onward."
Instead of charging constantly renewed with vigor. He got a idea.
Uses the Mind Stone to do a Mind whammy on Thanos. In his mind it echoes what he feels, to be the one half erased. Through the sins of all his previous victims.
He did this by making in synth mental patterns he got before the mission. With this in mind.
" Think yourself a God? Your just mad, a mad dog. Nothing more."
You make Thanos imagine a quick and painless death, followed by his Soul entering the Soul Gem and living out the rest of an optional eternity in bliss in a perfect world controlled by a benevolent god. Thanos' vigor is renewed.
-1 action.
...or at least that's what would happen if posting thrice per round wasn't against the rules. Your charge is currently at 9, and this action has failed. Sorry man.
18/50
Cake Guy doesn't really talk, but if they did, they would probably be screaming in inarticulate fury.
They charge at Thanos, grab the Shotgoanna, and wrestle it into pointing directly at Thanos's face. Bang. It's not enough for Cake Guy. with a bit of telekinesis, they grab one of the giant cakes, and freeze time aroundthemselves. While partical physics are basically off in the time-stop (nothing from Thanos's body can move), they pull the cake over and compress it inside Thanos's stomach. time unfreezes. Nuclear fusion immediately, followed by an explosion from the pressure of cramming it so close together. At this point, they stop to take a breath.
Their cake keeps talking to thanos. Cake guy's too distracted to notice, or care.
Having been insulted by thanos, the Cake has stopped being so accomodating as to color all text gold. "You did hear I'm not really a cake, right? I'm a descended from the future,who tried to control another descendant, and has only reached the point of inhabiting their constructs." "Hence the Cake I'm inhabiting." "Also, you know time travel exists, right?" "Since you can't change anything you know of, the BEST move would have been to go back a few thousand years the instant you got the Time Gem! plan back there! think things through! maybe you don't even need all the gems! It's even worse now that you know your Snap WONT WORK." "Sure, if you win then you MIGHT be able to make time happen differently. But if you were going to win, I Wouldn't Be Here! Conditional on such power, you could gain success, but with knowledge of a lack of visible success, The options reduce!" "Now either you find a way to act invisibly, or you won't get the gems regardless! Nothing else would lead to me, here, now, talking to you!" "LASTLY." "While the Outcome of going straight to your plan if your plan is the only way is better then delaying if your plan is the only way, assuming your plan is considered moral..." "Since we don't know your plan is the only way, the costs are not such." "it is better to enact an as yet uncreated, non-killy plan if it is possible, and the killing only if that would fail. Since we know not whether the first will work, trying to act before thinking through it would be at a cost of 50% of the current population, multiplied by the probability of other plans." "On the other hand,not acting during the time it takes to go to the past- during which you wouldn't have finished the plan in either case, as this fight is not so uneven- costs..." "by my reconning, 0.0000000339069781% Of the population of the universe per second travelling to the past Actually Delays resolution." "Taking into account the machinations of time, I would say the chance of your plan working is well below 10%, while the chances of there being an alternative near even." "COMPREHENDO?"
Thanos attempts to argue your claim about your existence disproving his changing of time (something is mumbled about time not working that way), but your EPIC FACTS and LOGIC absolutely DESTROY Thanos. Even without that main point, you're still strong enough to figuratively and literally stun Thanos for an action.
Charging: 19/50
"Yes! I have all the time I need!" The alien does a quick victory dance. He then looks down at his wrist controller. "Please say I had that installed. Please say I had that installed." The alien smiles as he finds a button with an hourglass on it. "Yes. This thing is supposed to run on T.A.R.D.I.S.es, but this should work too." He presses the button. A green vortex opens in front of him. Over the portal, a gray bar reads "0 actions later." He adjusts a few settings and it reads "21 actions later." Within the portal, the figure of the Blue Brigader sits, looking bored. "What took you so long?" the future alien asks. "It's so boring around here." "Sorry," his past self responds. "I had to make sure you were ready." "I've been ready me. You should know this." "You know, we should just get to getting." "That's exactly what I said when I was you." "Shush." "Fine, fine. I'll let me take all of the credit." "You know what, just stop, okay? Please?" "Fine, but only because you're me." "Finally." The future one smirks at the past one's frown. The future one presses a button on his future wrist controller. Fifty charges from the future slowly expend themselves as a blue fire appears in his hand. He slowly slides the fire onto his past self's hand. "Here you go. You already thought of this by now, right?" "Of course I did. This works, right?" "You know I can't tell you that." The one from the future steps back through the portal and leaves. The current one sight. "Am I really that much of a jerk in the future?" he mutters. The fire begins to grow within his hand. "Oh, right. My hand's on fire. Let's see. What is this again? Uuh..." He thinks back to his time in Stanglose Academy. He sees himself reading a textbook. On the left page of the textbook, it describes a colossus of space. A great, yellow terror spawned from the depths of the Raqutry Mountain on the terrifying planet of Yentrail. There, living is a constant struggle, having to endure harsh, ever chilling winds, monsters that form canyons with single a single step, and terrain almost entirely composed of rocky spikes. From the beginning, the goliath had never been cut out for the terrain, originating as a gelatinous blob. It spent the first seven hundred years of existence growing within its ever frozen cave. Then, one cycle, one of the terrifying beasts that inhabit the surface destroyed its home. It was forced to grow a solid, frozen exterior to protect itself from the world around. It began consuming the creatures around it, trying to learn to fight and hunt. Eventually, it found that the only enemy remaining to it was the planet itself. It slowly built up heat within itself. Its outer shell melts and the planet begins to burn. The primordial goop expands out and encompasses the planet. It takes the stone and rock of it and creates a new outer shell. It creates arms and legs, powered by the core of the planet. Finally, it searches out throughout the galaxy, annihilating civilizations just to build upon its great arsenal. Upon the next page, it would describe the properties of the being and the blue fire that powers it. However, the alien was too busy messing around with the new gaming system they installed on his wrist controller to care. The alien stops reminiscing. He stares blankly at the fire in his hand and just decides to do something with it. He closes the hand holding the fire and opens the hand that isn't. He then lets the fire holding hand open slightly and the flame leaps into this hand. He fully opens his empty hand and starts to draw symbols in the air. The fire in his hand starts to take the shape of these symbols. The symbols read in an old language,"We Protect. We Suffer. We Retaliate." The words fly forwards and burn themselves into Thanos's forehead. Thanos tries to remove the fire, but the fire remains unmoving. The fire suddenly dies down. It then returns, stronger than ever. Thanos's skin has fully charred. His skin feels as if it is about to melt off of the bone. The alien presses another button on his wrist controller. A flamethrower pops up from within the controller. He presses another button and fire explodes out of the torch. The fire hits the spot where the blue fire is and it melds with it. The fire grows, enveloping his entire face in a righteous, blue burn. Thanos's skin has melted off. His bones burn from the exposure to the everlasting burn. A quizzical look grows on the alien's face. "I wonder if past me had a good one liner for this."
Well that was a mess of code that was a pain to read. Anyways, good effort despite formatting failure. Solid 45,000 damage plus !!BLUE!! status effect added.
"You do realize that its a code-based safe, right? That key is totally usele-"
You unlock the safe!
"...useful, apparently."
Inside is... another safe! This one, however, is a Transdimensional Safe-based Item-Exchange Network. There's a note attached.
"Hello new user! Welcome to my services. The way my system works is simple: insert items of a given value (plus a small tax) and receive different items of equal value, more appropriate to the situation you describe (usually by writing what's up on a piece of paper you send along with your tribute). A neat way for people to help each other while getting rid of their junk, eh?"
8/50
Neo looks at Thanos, and sees the gem count. One more to go. He also notes the fact that the gauntlet was significantly more damaged by his prior assault than he had presumed it would. He can use this.
8 charge expended.
Neo looks at the stone, and then, he pulls out one of his pocket spacial displacement devices. Tossing it so that it gets lodged in one of the cracks on the reality gem's slot on the gauntlet, the displacer pulls the gem inexorably out of the gauntlet, into the paired displacer. Said displacer is currently somewhere between the cake paladin and karpinsky. Since grabbing a free gem is a free action, if this works, and either want it, they need only go for it. If not, the paladin is the one who can grab it, since he retains an action, which he could use to slip it free.
Charging: 20/50
"Hmm... It's times like this when I should've gotten the mind stone. Then I'd know what these buttons did." He stupidly presses another button. A small screen pops up and it asks, "Are you sure you want a copy?" The alien figures nothing bad could happen and presses the yes button. A bar of blue light scans the alien and the text box changes to a loading animation. The alien sits there, waiting for his copy. A check mark replaces the loading animation, which then changes into the words, "Your package will arrive in 3... 2... 1..." A box falls out of the sky, being thrown from an unknown vehicle. It quickly plummets to the ground. Its safety parachute tries to deploy, but it seems to be stuck to something. The box crashes into Thanos, hitting him right in the noggin. "Oh no! I hope my clone is okay." He rushes over to the box and swiftly opens it. The sides of the box fall over and it reveals a humongous text book. On top, it reads, "User's Manual." "Ah. That type of copy. Well, that was a waste of time."
Thanos heads over to the player who has been standing around all round. With both fists and two actions, he punches them until they stop standing. Also breathing. OverlordVan slain.
He then grabs the Mind Gem and inserts it into its appropriate slot in the Damaged Infinity Gauntlet.
With his fourth and final action, he uses the Reality Gem to change the nature of !!BLUE!!, turning it into a flame of defense! He won't be able to be damaged until you remove the blue!
Ebony Maw continues to gather shield debris.
Cull Obsidian begin bodyguarding Thanos. Wuh-oh.
Corvus Glaive's Glaive's Glaive, still not having been stolen by anyone, suddenly emits a burst of blinding light. When it dies down, Corvus Glaive is alive once again, armed and dangerous.
Proxima Midnight, with permission from her leader, nabs the Shotgoanna and then aims it at True Neo. "BANG! EAT LEAD, ROBOT!". Critical damage plus a lack of an order of operations on damage bonuses instantly obliterates the machine, leaving the Power Gem up for grabs.
The Fire Elementals scraggle around the field.
The Reality Elemental slowly snakes its way over to Thanos. It then flies with its 9 wings a short distance up to the gauntlet and uses its tentacles to pry the Reality Gem out. 5% removal.
The A-list Actors and B-list Actors, having received no attack orders, pose stunningly. 30% crit chance next round!
The Extras continue constructing the Lab, which won't be able to be used until it's been fully constructed.
Pweron Dum quickly grabs the Power Gem. "Anyone want this? It's up for grabs, guys... quickly please."
[PT-BOSS] Thanos. 18,000/500,000 Hp. 12 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. !!BLUE!! [A] Damaged Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Gems have (removed percentage/10) chance of slipping out. -10,000 attack. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. 75% removed. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [PT] Ebony Maw. 69,000/100,000 Hp. 37,500/125,000 Shp(30%RR). [PT] Cull Obsidian. 80,300/250,000 Hp. 5 AC. Bodyguarding Thanos. [PT] Corvus Glaive. 150,000/150,000 Hp. [A] Corvus Glaive's Glaive. Ignores AC. [PT] Proxima Midnight. 135,000/200,000 Hp. 50% Accuracy. [A] Shotgoanna. +40,000 damage. Bored!
[N] Dwarf Reality Elemental. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Prying at the Reality Gem. [N] Dwarf Fire Elementals. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Scraggling. x4.
[AT] Pweron Dum. 90/90 Hp. NOT A SELF INSERT. Noble Aura. [A] Power Gem. Purple. [AT] A-list Actors. 68,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. (+30% accuracy for one round.) [AT] B-list Actors. 250,000/250,000 Hp. -10% dodge. (+30% accuracy for one round.) [AT-Dropop] Extras. 268,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 5. +10,000 Hp to Lab/round. [AT-Dropop] Laboratory. 20,000/Insert maximum here Hp. Cannot act until it has been built to maximum Hp. [AT-Pastry Paladin] 3 Fake cakes. [AT] Flaming Mageye. 20/20 Hp. [A] Priceytag. Cash Money: [$12,341]. Distractingly shiny (and has a tendency to scream a lot). Minor control over Code. [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [AT] Dropop. 20/20 Hp. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [AT] True Neo. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Heaven's Guardian. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Blue Brigadier. 20/20 Hp. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time.
Thanos Skeledop
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Ask the NON SELF INSERT OF THE ARBITER for advice.
question by cake guys cake for pweron aka NOT A SELF INSERT:
When I said 'At some point before or after I planted a mind-affecting spell on a new descended in the distant past during the Psi war to make him like cakes. it seemed like a good idea at the time. ' to the arbiter, what do you think his response of "Wait... you dear God, you're ||| ||| ||| |||| ||||||||||, aren't you, cake?
You ||||| you || ||||| ||||| |||||| ||| ||||||||!
|| | ||||!"
was intended to communicate before it was blocked?
also when they said "Oh, I just ||| |||||| |||| |||||| ||||||." and "Wait, it did ||| |||||| || |||| ||||| that one time." and "Wait, isn't the Void just |||| ||||| ||| | ||||| || ||||||| | |||||?" and "Uhh, it blocks ||||| |||, ||||| || | || || and |||| | ||||||| so far".
I proceed to ask the same set of questions to each of the A-List actors, making it "impossible" to determine anything about the identity of the inteligence operating pweron aka NOT A SELF INSERT from that i've asked them these questions. I also ask pweron aka NOT A SELF INSERT somewhere in the middle of the list, and make sure to ask some nonsense questions and use some quotes that never happened.
[endquestioning]
19/50
Pastry Paladin takes the power gem and... puts it in the safe! they also put a note reading "I am attempting to create the greatest reality-warping super-cake in the history of the multiverse for personal reasons" in the safe.
Also, the Talking Cake points out one last thing to Thanos "At the point where you had the Time Gem, spending a perceptual year in the past, perhaps during the months before this battle, thinking and planning, would have cost you nothing, and yet you did not. If, now, you could retrieve the Time gem, would you do this? I think not. you have proven yourself far too short sighted, too set in your goal, too set in your method, too stuck in an imaginary box you can't see out of, and raging at everyone who sees beyond it, who doesn't accept your limited frame, because they can see the foolishness of your choice, and it seems that this, to you, is too terrible a prospect to accept." "Prove. {Me}. Wrong."
1/50
~~~~~~
Cull Obsidian can't bodyguard very well if he can't see. Or if he's hurting all over.
So I take a large number of long, thin, sharp Obsidian Shards and drive them into his body. First the eyes, then various nerve clusters and pressure points. And I just leave them there. If he so much as twitches, they'll shatter and leave even more tiny shards throughout his body. And that'll hurt even more.
Charging: 21/50 "Hmm... continue simplemindedly attacking Thanos... or, help the robot that gave me the Time Stone." The blue brigadier presses a button that looks like the face of a president. The button jumps off of the wrist controller and does a few flips. Meanwhile, the alien mutters, "Heads, attack Thanos. Tails, help robot... please be heads." The button lands back on the wrist controller, and it shows a building. "Tails. Really? Fine, I'll do the morally responsible thing." The alien walks over to True Neo. He presses another button on the wrist controller and a wrench appears in the wrist controller's grabber arm. It sits there, waiting. "Do I really have to do it myself?" The wrench continues to sit there. The alien sighs and picks up the wrench. However, instead of fixing the robot, he takes out the time stone. He places this in his opposite hand, and points that hand's finger at the wrench hand. The hand begins to move quicker than normal and flies around, repairing different parts of the robot as it does so. Upon completion, the hand slows back down to normal time speed, revealing a fully built True Neo. "There. Debt repaid. Happy?"
Right well, I don't have enough money to finance that lab and the A and B actors, so I'm assuming someone else can handle that, and Instead I foucs on helping the Extras build up the lab with my Space Stone.
You construct a Science Lab! By that I of course mean you just go to the one that was obviously already across the street this whole time.
Inside you find several men in white coats working on some horrid collages of vaguely science-looking junk. Still, any knowledge of engineering would tell you that they're literally just making big scrap balls that only *look* science-y.
Thanos may be bodyguarded now, but Cake Guy is still up close and personal. Without Shotgoanna in the way, Cake Guy punches Thanos in the pinkie toe! While he's stunned by the pain, they telekinetically move the Reality Elemental out of the way and dodgeroll out of the path of Thanos's inevitable attempt to push them off. With cake powers, they unleash a salvo of pastries into Thanos's face, blinding him long enough for them to throw {Me} At the Reality ge-WAIT NO DON'T DO THA*squish*
OW.
...At any rate, their very special cake uses its now-gooey top to surround the reality gem, reducing friction between the Gauntlet and it. As the Cake slides off, Cake Guy keeps firing pastries, except now they're Acid pastries. while Cake Guys Cake sits on the ground, squished, and in AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF PAIN, Thanos is struck by volley after salvo after bombardment of Cakes, an unending barrage flying at him. This perfectly distracts him from the fact that Cake Guy's Cake is now technically holding the Reality Gem, until eventually Cake Guy runs out of Cakes, and decides to collect all the only-partly dirty pastries for later.
Formidable azure: approaching storm, bringer of death, searing whip, executioner's blade—open to the heart of thy lonely servant. To the one approaching a storm, cutting his axe, rise in his death. To me, praying to thee, answer! My foe to the depth of pain, into the vortex of suffering—throw. While you torture, tear him from within, be slow. When he cries out to thee, his voice begging mercy, be silent.
The color of speed, suffering, time. To use speed for defense is to drink the blood magic of inspiration. But no, today we bear freedom from the wars. Be at peace, root of haste. Sheathe thy blades in scabbard and not man. Go to the worlds of wheel and wind, where you are needed. Mercy was not begged, it is enforced and granted.
I baptise Thanos with liquid peace to separate them from the !!BLUE!!. There is no need to lash out against blessings. There is no need to suffer to protect. Be freed, Fire of Blue.
I understood nothing of that except that you've freed some blue fire elementals onto the field. They will begin destroying everything in sight. This is what happens when you free hellbeasts.
The Blue Fire Elementals, never having been treated with so much respect and kindness before (thus why they turned to a life of crime and eventually died at the hands of the Maniac and went to hell) decide that they will permanently pledge loyalty to you.
True Neo rushes straight out of being repaired, after quickly saying thank you to the friendly Alien, to charging Proxima Midnight. He goes so fast that he rushes right past her without her being hit. Or at least, that is what she thinks, until he turns around. She then realizes that he is holding the Shotgoanna. "This thing has caused me enough pain. Time to force it to return the favor."
He then rushes right at her, jabbing the Shotgoanna straight into her torso, and then he pushes her further. He keeps on shoving her, until she suddenly feels a stabbing pain in her back. It is Corvus Glaive's Glaive. He then pulls the trigger, holding it level with her head.
1/50
You provide some senseless orders to a robot you dont even know was just repaired back on the battlefield. Now you're speaking the language of chaos. A few Tieflings begin to listen to you.
The actors receive one of those second wind recovery cutscenes... but this is no ordinary rally speech, it's powered by the dark magical boys and girls of Demon Pillar Despara! Cheerleader anti-heroes erupt from the ground with medical supplies for the protagonists, deploying personal heals and off screen villain dark matter to repair and aid the actors, before taking off again to retreat to various hideouts and stuff.
(2 charges and bulk action on healing A-list actors, 1 charge for B-list, 1 charge for Extras. If the B-list are still at maximum health, put it into the A-list heal.)
True Neo then makes certain that Proxima Midnight is deceased. Either way, he then proceeds to pull the glaive from its wielder's grasp, and then stabs him onto the opposite side, before him, and Midnight, both suddenly get a dark blue aura. Then they begin to slide down the glaive towards each other. He then walks away, prepared for either's counter attempts.
2/50
I get a !!AMAZING!! Idea!
I venture out to hell, and use some of my CASH MONEY to hire the Devil to help me. Maybe 80 or so CASH MONIES! And When I say devil, i mean roxxanne with a glue on mustache.
Stats: High attack, able to bodyguard, can attack twice, attacks have chance of stealing artifacts. Has the artifact Ratatoskr, which grants high extra attack, stun chance, and lighting control.
I then bribe reality with another 15 CASH MONEYs to make sure she takes orders from me and is [AT]
Finally, I give the actors some money for their lab.
Also, wrong game franchise for all this. This game's devil resides in Canada's Parliment Building as Prime Minister.
Great job dragging hell into this mess.
Charging: 22/50
"Yup, I have done a moral justice today. Ah well." Another button is pressed, a cardboard box folds itself out, the alien puts it over Thanos, he re-tapes it, attaches a stamp, address, return address, and a piece of paper with words on it, presses a button, and waits, a SPS (Space Postal Service) truck shows up, the alien puts the box in the back of the truck, tells the driver not to worry about the package, and waves, the driver drives off, and everyone's happy. Meanwhile, Thanos is stuck going through the Space Postal Service. He has to endure the other space luggage bouncing around, the space potholes, and the bad music the SPS driver thinks is good. Finally, he arrives at SPS HQ, where he is carelessly thrown around, bumped into, and stored in their giant warehouse. What feels like weeks pass. Thanos wonders why he hadn't been picked up yet, the answer being priority mail stops and other postal shenanigans that make people want to get priority mail. Finally, his box is lifted up onto a space trolley and loaded into a space plane. The plane flies around, pretending to take the most convenient path. The pilot constantly takes time to jerk to the left or right, making the cargo knock into the sides of the cargo bay. Upon landing, the pilot decides to do a few loops around the space traffic control tower. Finally, they stop and land. Thanos is then thrown onto another trolley and is shoved into another warehouse. This time, he is held for a much shorter amount of time; after all, SPS doesn't want those customers that actually pay attention to the delivery tracker to know they are being as slow as possible. Thanos is loaded onto another truck. This time, there is relatively less mail. These days, the space civilians just can't be bothered to send letters in the mail. Why would they when the can just teleport the letters? Thanos finally arrives at his destination. The delivery man has a quick chat with a voice that sounds eerily familiar to Thanos. However, at this point, Thanos doesn't quite care. He just wants out of the box. He listens in anticipation as the space pen signs the space paper. He savors the sound of the footsteps walking towards him, just waiting to be taken out of the box. However, all hopes are shattered as he hears the Blue Brigadier ask, "Did you have a nice trip?"
Fine. Clearly you guys have all been working together to summon this "Thanos" character, so I'll let it roll through. He's like, what, a 7post charge? Let's roll with that, sure.
The New Maniac spins the fishing rod around, creating a miniature vortex in the apple tub. Several coins float to the top.
The Blue Fire Elementals, loyal to Karpinsky, begin destroying things that aren't him.
Akarpira activates its level 99 battletech: Floral Flagellation, doing 0 damage against the Godmodder because of obvious reasons.
The Godmodder pukes up a bit of blood on the floor. Akarpira grows into it, growing larger.
Cherie cowers in fear.
Travis slides over to Hungry Visitor's flesh body under the tree and juuuust caaaasually slitstheirthroatwithaknifeandlootstheircorpseofallvaluables.
Thanos, new to the battlefield, decides to be helpful by creating a bouquet of corpses he took from behind the carnival shed. Also one of the thieves trying to steal the Ridiculously Expensive Painting.
The New Universe Battlefield: CARNIVAL TIME! Go play some carnival games! Ignore the Godmodder anime battle happening in the background!
Travis Manson: 10/10 HP. Fabulous! Offering tickets to the carnival! Looting HV's flesh bag.
Hungry Visitor's Skeleton: 110% Bone Smartness.
Karpinsky's Ghost: 12/20 HP. 0 Souls. Intangible.
Cherie the Doggo: 500/450 HP. Cheescake. PGB Entity: 4/4 HP. Doghouse: 3/3 HP. Immune the the elements and nukes.
Thanos: 60/60 Hp. Corpse Bouquet.
Ridiculously expensive painting that must be defended: 3/3 HP. In a chest: 2/4 HP. Nordic Mimic.
CARNIVAL TIME:
Apple Tub!
New Maniac: 87/101 HP. Has a contract for you all to sign.
Ring the Bell!
Pin the Tail on the Donkey!
Whack-A-Mole!
Hungry Visitor's Skeleton: Is a winner!
Slowly-Go-Round!
O.R.I.G.I.N:
Destroy The Godmodder! [GM] Mordecai Manson: 5/5 HP. Fabulous! [H] Akarpira: 301,000/300,000 HP. Akira: 2/3. Fire Gauntlet: IIII.
And the list goes on! Come one, come all! Tickets are cheap!
Players who aren't anywhere else are here.
The Inverted Mountain: It begins.
JOE: 18/20 HP. Has 2 Souls, some potions and a car. Also on the Battlefield maybe?
JOE's Creation: 10/10. Ghostless.
Player List
Unless otherwise stated, all players have full HP, 1 Soul and are on the battlefield.
I Just Write/IJW: 19/20 HP. Elsewhere.
JOE: 18/20 HP. 2 Souls and some potions in a car. Signed the Contract.
MedievalParadox/MP/Mega: 19/20 HP.
Karpinsky/Karp: 12/20 HP. Has 0 Souls. Intangible Ghost.
Ender_Smirk/ES: 18/20. 2 Souls. Magic core thing. Warlock Tiefling. Limbo. 12 SP.
FlamingFlapjacks/FF/Carleah: Paladin of Tucker! Wielding Tuckerian Blade +4! 12 GP, 8 SP.
Paradoxdragonpaci/paradox: 17/20 HP.
Trickster/TJ/Trickles: 3/20 HP. Knows too much.
Style&Grace: 3 Wealth. 0 Souls. Signed the Contract.
Hungry Visitor: 110% Bone Smartness. Now a Skeleton, I guess? Has the Perfect Counter. 2 SP, 3 rolls of yarn.
O.R.I.G.I.N: 14/20 HP. ??-1 Soul. Signed the Contract. Spinning slowly into insanity. 1 Pokeball. 1 SP. 1 EP. 1 Sticker roll. Bottle of Bloodfruit Juice. 1 Bloodfruit seed.
Winkins: 14/20 HP. Exists now, I guess.
question by cake guys cake for pweron aka NOT A SELF INSERT:
When I said 'At some point before or after I planted a mind-affecting spell on a new descended in the distant past during the Psi war to make him like cakes. it seemed like a good idea at the time. ' to the arbiter, what do you think his response of "Wait... you dear God, you're ||| ||| ||| |||| ||||||||||, aren't you, cake?
You ||||| you || ||||| ||||| |||||| ||| ||||||||!
|| | ||||!"
was intended to communicate before it was blocked?
also when they said "Oh, I just ||| |||||| |||| |||||| ||||||." and "Wait, it did ||| |||||| || |||| ||||| that one time." and "Wait, isn't the Void just |||| ||||| ||| | ||||| || ||||||| | |||||?" and "Uhh, it blocks ||||| |||, ||||| || | || || and |||| | ||||||| so far".
I proceed to ask the same set of questions to each of the A-List actors, making it "impossible" to determine anything about the identity of the inteligence operating pweron aka NOT A SELF INSERT from that i've asked them these questions. I also ask pweron aka NOT A SELF INSERT somewhere in the middle of the list, and make sure to ask some nonsense questions and use some quotes that never happened.
[endquestioning]
19/50
Pastry Paladin takes the power gem and... puts it in the safe! they also put a note reading "I am attempting to create the greatest reality-warping super-cake in the history of the multiverse for personal reasons" in the safe.
Also, the Talking Cake points out one last thing to Thanos "At the point where you had the Time Gem, spending a perceptual year in the past, perhaps during the months before this battle, thinking and planning, would have cost you nothing, and yet you did not. If, now, you could retrieve the Time gem, would you do this? I think not. you have proven yourself far too short sighted, too set in your goal, too set in your method, too stuck in an imaginary box you can't see out of, and raging at everyone who sees beyond it, who doesn't accept your limited frame, because they can see the foolishness of your choice, and it seems that this, to you, is too terrible a prospect to accept." "Prove. {Me}. Wrong."
"Oh, yeah, You're JOEbob, unholy eldritch abomination of rules lawyering and rambles. The Game Ender. Horrifying mythological creature in this game's lore, apparently. I don't remember what the context for those other answers were, though. Sorry."
You open the safe and insert the Power Gem as well as your note. You close the SAFE and hear a wooshing sound. A second later there's a *ding*. You open the safe and within is a note upon which is written: "I am currently in need of some firepower in order to defeat a being known as the Dark God."
Also The Cake.
1/50
~~~~~~
Cull Obsidian can't bodyguard very well if he can't see. Or if he's hurting all over.
So I take a large number of long, thin, sharp Obsidian Shards and drive them into his body. First the eyes, then various nerve clusters and pressure points. And I just leave them there. If he so much as twitches, they'll shatter and leave even more tiny shards throughout his body. And that'll hurt even more.
Technically Cull Obsidian is the name of a group of Thanos' followers, meaning that attacking a singular (male) member is less effective of an action. 30,000 damage and Bleeding.
Charging: 21/50 "Hmm... continue simplemindedly attacking Thanos... or, help the robot that gave me the Time Stone." The blue brigadier presses a button that looks like the face of a president. The button jumps off of the wrist controller and does a few flips. Meanwhile, the alien mutters, "Heads, attack Thanos. Tails, help robot... please be heads." The button lands back on the wrist controller, and it shows a building. "Tails. Really? Fine, I'll do the morally responsible thing." The alien walks over to True Neo. He presses another button on the wrist controller and a wrench appears in the wrist controller's grabber arm. It sits there, waiting. "Do I really have to do it myself?" The wrench continues to sit there. The alien sighs and picks up the wrench. However, instead of fixing the robot, he takes out the time stone. He places this in his opposite hand, and points that hand's finger at the wrench hand. The hand begins to move quicker than normal and flies around, repairing different parts of the robot as it does so. Upon completion, the hand slows back down to normal time speed, revealing a fully built True Neo. "There. Debt repaid. Happy?"
Right well, I don't have enough money to finance that lab and the A and B actors, so I'm assuming someone else can handle that, and Instead I foucs on helping the Extras build up the lab with my Space Stone.
Thanos may be bodyguarded now, but Cake Guy is still up close and personal. Without Shotgoanna in the way, Cake Guy punches Thanos in the pinkie toe! While he's stunned by the pain, they telekinetically move the Reality Elemental out of the way and dodgeroll out of the path of Thanos's inevitable attempt to push them off. With cake powers, they unleash a salvo of pastries into Thanos's face, blinding him long enough for them to throw {Me} At the Reality ge-WAIT NO DON'T DO THA*squish*
OW.
...At any rate, their very special cake uses its now-gooey top to surround the reality gem, reducing friction between the Gauntlet and it. As the Cake slides off, Cake Guy keeps firing pastries, except now they're Acid pastries. while Cake Guys Cake sits on the ground, squished, and in AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF PAIN, Thanos is struck by volley after salvo after bombardment of Cakes, an unending barrage flying at him. This perfectly distracts him from the fact that Cake Guy's Cake is now technically holding the Reality Gem, until eventually Cake Guy runs out of Cakes, and decides to collect all the only-partly dirty pastries for later.
You end up being thrown... onto Corvus Glaive's Glaive. Apparently both you and Cake Guy were under the impression that you were far closer to Thanos than you actually were, as a result of him messing with your mind using the Mind Gem. Cakes wasted.
Formidable azure: approaching storm, bringer of death, searing whip, executioner's blade—open to the heart of thy lonely servant. To the one approaching a storm, cutting his axe, rise in his death. To me, praying to thee, answer! My foe to the depth of pain, into the vortex of suffering—throw. While you torture, tear him from within, be slow. When he cries out to thee, his voice begging mercy, be silent.
The color of speed, suffering, time. To use speed for defense is to drink the blood magic of inspiration. But no, today we bear freedom from the wars. Be at peace, root of haste. Sheathe thy blades in scabbard and not man. Go to the worlds of wheel and wind, where you are needed. Mercy was not begged, it is enforced and granted.
I baptise Thanos with liquid peace to separate them from the !!BLUE!!. There is no need to lash out against blessings. There is no need to suffer to protect. Be freed, Fire of Blue.
A Cull Obsidian member takes the brunt of your baptism instead. Such is the nature of bodyguarding. They lose some blue and some heat, becoming a bit greener. Also -20,000 Hp.
True Neo rushes straight out of being repaired, after quickly saying thank you to the friendly Alien, to charging Proxima Midnight. He goes so fast that he rushes right past her without her being hit. Or at least, that is what she thinks, until he turns around. She then realizes that he is holding the Shotgoanna. "This thing has caused me enough pain. Time to force it to return the favor."
He then rushes right at her, jabbing the Shotgoanna straight into her torso, and then he pushes her further. He keeps on shoving her, until she suddenly feels a stabbing pain in her back. It is Corvus Glaive's Glaive. He then pulls the trigger, holding it level with her head.
1/50
Proxima Midnight is impaled on the Corvus Glaive (aka Corvus Glaive's Corvus Glaive) for 20,000 damage and then shot in the head ("BANGARANG, HOOLAA!") for 40,000 more damage. Also, you steal the Shotgoanna.
The actors receive one of those second wind recovery cutscenes... but this is no ordinary rally speech, it's powered by the dark magical boys and girls of Demon Pillar Despara! Cheerleader anti-heroes erupt from the ground with medical supplies for the protagonists, deploying personal heals and off screen villain dark matter to repair and aid the actors, before taking off again to retreat to various hideouts and stuff.
(2 charges and bulk action on healing A-list actors, 1 charge for B-list, 1 charge for Extras. If the B-list are still at maximum health, put it into the A-list heal.)
24,000 Hp healed for the A-listers, 12,000 for the B-listers. 24,000 Hp for the Extras, as the cheerleaders (upon finishing their healing) join up with them.
The Strange Force that penetrates and binds all things in the universe penetrates Ebony Maw's maw forcefully for 30,000 damage. This is absorbed by his telekinesis, diminishing his shield capacity slightly.
True Neo then makes certain that Proxima Midnight is deceased. Either way, he then proceeds to pull the glaive from its wielder's grasp, and then stabs him onto the opposite side, before him, and Midnight, both suddenly get a dark blue aura. Then they begin to slide down the glaive towards each other. He then walks away, prepared for either's counter attempts.
2/50
As the marriage vows say, in life and in death. Or is it till death do us part? Well, they haven't been parted, technically they've been brought closer. Then again, they haven't died yet either. They are much closer, though, thanks to you. 25,000 and 10,000 damage to Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight respectively.
I get a !!AMAZING!! Idea!
I venture out to hell, and use some of my CASH MONEY to hire the Devil to help me. Maybe 80 or so CASH MONIES! And When I say devil, i mean roxxanne with a glue on mustache.
Stats: High attack, able to bodyguard, can attack twice, attacks have chance of stealing artifacts. Has the artifact Ratatoskr, which grants high extra attack, stun chance, and lighting control.
I then bribe reality with another 15 CASH MONEYs to make sure she takes orders from me and is [AT]
Finally, I give the actors some money for their lab.
The Devil would not let you hire her for so cheap without leaving a few billion dollars of debt, silly! You're not stupid enough to sign any of her contracts, though, and decide to not summon her.
You throw about 50 monies at the lab, upgrading it by 200,000 Hp.
Charging: 22/50
"Yup, I have done a moral justice today. Ah well." Another button is pressed, a cardboard box folds itself out, the alien puts it over Thanos, he re-tapes it, attaches a stamp, address, return address, and a piece of paper with words on it, presses a button, and waits, a SPS (Space Postal Service) truck shows up, the alien puts the box in the back of the truck, tells the driver not to worry about the package, and waves, the driver drives off, and everyone's happy. Meanwhile, Thanos is stuck going through the Space Postal Service. He has to endure the other space luggage bouncing around, the space potholes, and the bad music the SPS driver thinks is good. Finally, he arrives at SPS HQ, where he is carelessly thrown around, bumped into, and stored in their giant warehouse. What feels like weeks pass. Thanos wonders why he hadn't been picked up yet, the answer being priority mail stops and other postal shenanigans that make people want to get priority mail. Finally, his box is lifted up onto a space trolley and loaded into a space plane. The plane flies around, pretending to take the most convenient path. The pilot constantly takes time to jerk to the left or right, making the cargo knock into the sides of the cargo bay. Upon landing, the pilot decides to do a few loops around the space traffic control tower. Finally, they stop and land. Thanos is then thrown onto another trolley and is shoved into another warehouse. This time, he is held for a much shorter amount of time; after all, SPS doesn't want those customers that actually pay attention to the delivery tracker to know they are being as slow as possible. Thanos is loaded onto another truck. This time, there is relatively less mail. These days, the space civilians just can't be bothered to send letters in the mail. Why would they when the can just teleport the letters? Thanos finally arrives at his destination. The delivery man has a quick chat with a voice that sounds eerily familiar to Thanos. However, at this point, Thanos doesn't quite care. He just wants out of the box. He listens in anticipation as the space pen signs the space paper. He savors the sound of the footsteps walking towards him, just waiting to be taken out of the box. However, all hopes are shattered as he hears the Blue Brigadier ask, "Did you have a nice trip?"
Thanos, upon getting bored of being in the box, breaks it apart into 6 squares, which join him in beating you up.
Thanos walks up to Blue Brigadier. He grabs him with both hands (and two actions) and crushes him.
Thanos throws the alien's body aside, keeping the Time Gem. He inserts it into his Gauntlet without flare. He glares at the Cake Guy's Cake.
With his final action, he disappears.
Ebony Maw continues to gather shield debris.
Cull Obsidian punch Pweron Dum for 12 damage. Oi, come on people. Protect m- them!
Corvus Glaive de-impales himself (depales?) and Proxima Midnight from his Glaive. He then runs up behind a couple of A-List Actors and makes a shish kebab of them for 42,000 damage.
Proxima Midnight, is also depaled, and takes aim at the B-List Actors... Sniped for 100,000 damage! Talk about being on a roll!
The SAFE is given the Power Gem and spits out the Cake, which is loyal to Pastry Paladin.
The Reality Elemental scraggles. The SAFE's telescreen then lights up with three new requests.
"Hello, friends. I'm bored and currently in need of a way to fix that. Violent weapons to slay gods are preferred, thank you."
"Hey man, I need a gun real quick. NO SHOTGUNS OR ROCKETS. Will exchange a Maliwan SMG of your Element of choice."
"Money. Will give food."
Feel free to attempt to answer one or all of those requests.
The Fire Elementals just kinda... singe Cull Obsidian, killing them all.
The A-list Actors and B-list Actors decide not to waste their actions this round despite the lack of orders. The all attack Ebony Maw, doing 63,000 and a critted 126,000 damage respectively! This murders the poor bastard.
The Extras continue constructing the Lab, which won't be able to be used until it's been fully constructed.
Pweron Dum shouts: "Oi, guys. Order your frickin' actors! This is the last time I'm making them act without your guiding them, okay? Also, that Cake is a Boss, which is a Big Freaking Deal. Don't let it die or bad things will happen. Lastly, someone set an endpoint for that Lab or it will never get done and will only waste entity power."
[PT-BOSS] Thanos. 18,000/500,000 Hp. 12 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. !!BLUE!! [A] Damaged Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Gems have (removed percentage/10) chance of slipping out. -10,000 attack. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. 75% removed. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time.
[AT] Pweron Dum. 78/90 Hp. NOT A SELF INSERT. Noble Aura. [PC-BOSS] The Cake 250,000/250,000 HP. Knight of Kake: 1/6. To me, confectionarians: 1/13. Renown: [0]. Kingdom size: [1/10]. Rules over cakes. Sans Icing.
Knight of Kake: Should the target accept, they are given the [KoK] buff until they stop obeying the Cake or die.
Renown: Rises as tales of valor and flavor are spread across the Void.
Kingdom size: Equal to number of [KoK]. At 10, The Cake is invulnerable to attack.
To me, Confectionarians!: Summon a variety of loyal Cakes equal to Renown spent. All have the [KoK] buff.
Rules over cakes: The Cake has semi-elemental control over cakes. also, it's a great cake. kinda like a gem, but not really, and weaker.
doesn't have any icing: The Cake can be upgraded once, provided the ownership or creation of sufficiently high-quality icing/sauce.
[AT] A-list Actors. 62,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. [AT] B-list Actors. 150,000/250,000 Hp. [AT-Dropop] Extras. 292,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 5. +10,000 Hp to Lab/round. [AT-Dropop] Laboratory. 330,000/Insert maximum here Hp. Cannot act until it has been built to maximum Hp. [AT-Karpinsky?] Dwarf Fire Elementals. 3,000/3,000 Hp. x4. [AT] Flaming Mageye. 20/20 Hp. [A] Priceytag. Cash Money: [$12,291]. Distractingly shiny (and has a tendency to scream a lot). Minor control over Code. [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [AT] Dropop. 20/20 Hp. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [AT] True Neo. 20/20 Hp. [A] Shotgoanna. +40,000 damage. Bored! [AT] Heaven's Guardian. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Blue Brigadier. 0/20 Hp.
Thanos Skeledop
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Ask the NON SELF INSERT OF THE ARBITER for advice.
I spend a causal 200$ Priceytag dollars to summon something else cause TOG is a meanie. How do I spend it? Well, buy a grappling hook, and hook the Glaive in Glaive guy's hands. I then rip it out of his hands, and into mine. I then snap it over my knee, and use the splinters, purchasing a splinter duplicator, which I use to duplicate the splinters. Once I have enough splinters, I assumble a mech suit out of them.
Chair Mech stats: High regen, defends me, double action, has three arms (missile, sword, drill). Has a special which deals incredibly high damage, and light damage to the rest the enemy's side
I then set the lab's max at 500,000 hp. I then throw 50 more dollars at it, upgrading it even more, and adding snowball facilities, which will produce snowflake cannons.
Actors: Focus down the main damage dealers on the PT side. Especially Glaive.
You nab and shatter the Glaive (much to Glaive's shock), using a splinter duplicator to provide the resources to craft your Corvus Chairobot. You then create the Corvus Chairobot.
Lab max set, and 50 CP's worth of dollars of funding given.
After a Brief Headache I after questioning what just happened I get to work
Side Thanos Getting to Business I command the A and B list actors to attack Proxima Midnight, and then I help out the Extras in Lab construction using the Space stone.
Side Maniac Right I get to work to....Wait why was I here again? Eh whatever, I'll just offer some of the Employees some Candy Corn Liquor to boost their imaginations, as it did wonders for a friend of mine.
I ninja Thanos on the whole snap thing by snapping the various molecular bonds of Corvus Glaive, causing them to partially disintegrate and take damage in the process.
3/50
~~~~~~~~
Fire Elementals, Actors of all kinds, please attack Proxima Midnight and Corvus Glaive. Thanks!
~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, I pull out a dozen different old-timey fancy clock hands and spin them around in my dozen hands that I've totally always had --
What?
Yes, I did have them! You just didn't notice.
Anyways, I spin around all the clock hands until they hit a point straight-up. Midnight.
What?
Well, it's not like I can wield two hands in one hand to set up clock faces. How weird would that be?
So I take the Midnight Clockhands and stab Proxima Midnight with them.
Oh, and I stole all of them from some clocks in some green mansion. It didn't look very well-maintained. The clocks were all rusty. I hope Proxima Midnight had her tetanus shots!
21/50
V V V 01/50
20 Charges Expended! (maybe 21 if it'll help.)
I Make my loyal cake an enitety! hes such helpful, convinced Thanos to go away right when i maked the cake! he deserve extra powr.er
nbaturally, hes paort of the kcaeks kingomd OF CAKEOKEKEKEKEKCAKE "{I'd} rather not" YOUA REEEEEEEEEEE LEtreLY CAKEKEKEKAAHHEKAKEA
Base Stats for CP expenditure: 180,000 HP, 40,000 Attack "Hey can you make {Me} basically a fake player"
Okey M'LOAYU L SUBEKKKJCT! MAKeK OT HAPENZ
36php down to--> 30 Player-Style HP. no respawn.
Basically a fake player: gets Two actions per round, each being a freeform action with 20,000 power.
if excess power: 1/20 charg punts, wjocj cam expended for stuf
final statline:
[PC] Cake Guys Cake 30/30 HP (1/20 charge points), Is Basically a fake player. /\ /\ /\ /\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ Charge Expenditure /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\
Actual Actioning:
[Adrian Celestus] Cake Guy is busy preforming the empowerment of the existing Cake Guys Cake construct. his action goes out to the summoning process.
[JOEbob] Cake Guys Cake, having received an independant action pool, sighs in relief. He uses his newly regained powers to float over to the Reality Elemental and offers it some Cake energy (As we know from the original The Cake statline, Cakes are very important to reality and thus synchronize with it rather well). He suggests it join his side, where anything... sigh... cakelike... can thrive.
Entity Orders, assuming i can!A and or b-list actors, bake some cakes for me! dwarf reality elemental, acclimate yourself to Cake energy, and try doing good things for the Cake!
Cake boosts CGC's summoning
Neo pulls out his sword and begins rushing all around Proxima Midnight, slashing at her at random points as he circles. He then pulls out a blaster, and begins letting her have to try dealing with a beam spam barrage. Then, he just lifts up the Shotgoanna, and shoots her again. Hopefully that should finish off any hp.
(If she has died already, replace indicators of her with Corvus Glaive within this action. If both are dead, then I guess he just went way too all out on the square elementals.)
3/50
40,000 damage! Proxima Midnight is brought to her knees by your initial onslaught. As you bring the Shotgoanna up to meet her, you hesitate. It, however, does not.
"Eat lead, Alien person!"
40,000 damage, enough to kill her.
Charged: 22/50
The Blue Brigadier's left hand rests there motionlessly, just like the rest of him. On the literal other hand, a light on the wrist controller glows dimly. A small arm extends out of it and starts poking the alien. The glowing light slowly begins to flicker. (Revive 1/2)
Despara speaks a shield of rejuvenation mantras into form and provides it to Pweron Dum. A cute heart-decal buckler that provides regeneration status! It's probably more healing than it is defense to be honest, but it should provide some inherent self-healing while we wait for others to provide heavier defense.
A hole opens up, as a hand burst out of and claws away at the hole's opening it came out.
I pull myself from said hole and starts shouting about how I'm ALIVE! only to notice that I'm in the wrong dimension and start cussing about hiatus and glorious comebacks before settling to use my action this turn.
Sticking with my previous theme, I take a slingshot and started modifying it to be serviceable to turn moon rocks into full-sized moons when shot from it.
True Neo, having used Shotgoanna's ammo for this turn, suddenly has an idea. He suddenly prints out a note summarizing the current battle scenario, but the sum up is that Thanos just left to grab the power stone, and he wants something that can't backfire on the Descendants, while still being useful, in trade. He then throws this, and the Shotgoanna, into the safe, and sees what he will get.
4/50
You decide to fulfill none of the requests you'd gotten, and instead make your own trade. Ah well, sooner or later someone will probably want a semi-sentient and possibly evil Shotgun, right?
You receive an Artifact! [A] Power Finger. Power armor. For your finger. Effects based on what finger it's grafted to.
There isn't a note attached. This makes you uncomfortable, somehow.
Charged: 22/50
The wrist controller's poking arm begins to poke faster. The light enters a rapid pattern of flashes. A single beat is heard from the alien's heart. Everything stops. The Blue Brigadier takes a deep breath and sits up. He looks around in sheer terror. His head twists from left to right, left to right. He takes another breath and starts to calm. Finally, he turns his head down to his wrist controller and stares disappointedly at it. "Come on me. I had one job. Keep the time stone. Then what do I do? I lose it!" He continues to ramble on, obviously feeling better by the second. (Revive 2/2)
The Corvus Glaive was already chopped up, but you chop up Corvus Glaive just fine. 40,000 damage.
Thanos Returns.
Using the Reality Gem, he instantly transforms Flaming Mageye's Eye into a small thermonuclear device. It explodes, instantly killing him and severely damaging the the Corvus Chairbot.
He grabs the Soul Gem.
"This Gem shall be key. Irregardless of the final plan, there will be death. Painless death, but death nonetheless. With this stone, I will allow those who die to live on. An ending of consciousness is the truest tragedy. I refuse to allow it."
Using the Time Gem, he freezes The Cake for the round, making it unable to act or charge.
Using the Mind Gem, Thanos summons a Greater Mind Elemental.
Using the Soul Gem, Thanos reconjures Proxima Midnight's consciousness. She will inhabit the first body provided to her.
With his final action, Thanos catches the Fire Elementals in his hand. They heat up his Gauntlet slightly...
Corvus Glaive grabs the Priceytag. He burns several hundred dollars to hire some mercenaries. Oh no.
The Medium Square Elemental bodyguards Thanos with its flat side.
The Lesser Square Elementals bodyguard Corvus Glaive.
The mercenaries form ranks. Garbage ranks, granted, but ranks nonetheless. Speaking of ranks, Corvus Glaive has granted himself the rank of New High Priest of Thanos.
Proxima Midnight possesses an elite mercenary. Awkward.
The Great Mind Elemental infects an elite mercenary.
The SAFE spits out another request: "Hey, some exotic cheese would be nice. Will provide old armor pieces in exchange. New uniforms have rendered them obsolete, aye?"
The other two remain:
"Hey man, I need a gun real quick. NO SHOTGUNS OR ROCKETS. Will exchange a Maliwan SMG of your Element of choice."
"Money. Will give food."
Feel free to attempt to answer one or all of those requests.
The Fire Elementals struggle against their captor, but are powerless to escape.
The A-list Actors and B-list Actors, unable to do anything else, attack the enemy elementals, killing most of them. The Extras' minor support allows them to finish them all off.
The Lab, now fully built, is ready to roll.
Pweron Dum nervously looks around the battlefield: "...Alright, this may look bad but... okay, so this is pretty bad. Two bosses on the field means that if they die, we get seriously GORILLA'd. Don't let that happen, no matter what. We're already going to have a hard time defeating these new foes without loosing half our forces to unbalanced mechanics."
[PT-BOSS] Thanos. 18,000/500,000 Hp. 12 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. !!BLUE!! [A] Damaged Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Gems have (removed percentage/10) chance of slipping out. -10,000 attack. Being heated by the captured Fire Elementals. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time. [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Flaming Mageye, Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [PT] Corvus Glaive, High Priest of Thanos. 10,000/150,000 Hp. [A] Priceytag. Cash Money: [$11,441]. Distractingly shiny (and has a tendency to scream a lot). Minor control over Code. [PT-Elite] Proxima Midnight's Host. 200,000/200,000 Hp. Ready to Rumble: 1/6. Bodyguarding Corvus Glaive. [N-Elite] Elite Mercenary. 200,000/200,000 Hp. Ready to Rumble: 1/6. Possessed by the Greater Mind Elemental. Bodyguarding Thanos. [N] Mercenary Squad A. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Flame Throwers: 1/3. [N] Mercenary Squad B. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Acidic Spray: 1/3. [N] Mercenary Squad C. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Tesla Canon: 1/3.
Attack with two.
Missile Arm: 1/3. Ignores dodge.
Drill Arm: -10% Accuracy. Shreds AC. More effective with consecutive use.
Sword Arm: Can be used to defend or attack.
Splinter Frag: 1/10. Massive damage to one entity, while splinters affect all enemies.
[PC-BOSS-Pastry Paladin] The Cake 250,000/250,000 HP. Knight of Kake: 1/6. To me, confectionarians: 1/13. Renown: [0]. Kingdom size: [1]. Rules over cakes. Sans Icing.
Knight of Kake: Should the target accept, they are given the [KoK] buff until they stop obeying the Cake or die. Renown: Rises as tales of valor and flavor are spread across the Void. Kingdom size: Equal to number of [KoK]. At 10, The Cake is invulnerable to attack. To me, Confectionarians!: Summon a variety of loyal Cakes equal to Renown spent. All have the [KoK] buff. Rules over cakes: The Cake has semi-elemental control over cakes. also, it's a great cake. kinda like a gem, but not really, and weaker. doesn't have any icing: The Cake can be upgraded once, provided the ownership or creation of sufficiently high-quality icing/sauce.
[AT-Pastry Paladin] Cake Guy's Cake. 20/20 Hp. Basically just a player. [KoK]. [AT-Pastry Paladin] Dwarf Reality Elemental. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Supporting Cake I guess?. [AT] A-list Actors. 112,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. [AT] B-list Actors. 150,000/250,000 Hp. [AT-Dropop] Extras. 292,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 5. +10,000 Hp to Lab/round. [AT-Elite-Dropop] Laboratory. 500,000/500,000 Hp. 10 AC. Science: 1/10, decreases when manned. Free Scan: Ready. [Lab] Snowflake Canon. 60,000/60,000 Hp. Special Snowflakes: 1/3. [AT-Karpinsky?] Dwarf Fire Elementals. 3,000/3,000 Hp. x4. Captured in Thanos' Gauntlet. [AT] Flaming Mageye. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Dropop. 20/20 Hp. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [AT] True Neo. 20/20 Hp. [A] Power Finger. Choose which finger to equip it to. [AT] Heaven's Guardian. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Loony. 20/20 Hp. [A] Lunar Slingshot. Moonchunks: [0].
Thanos Skeledop
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
You don't have your artifacts on your person right now. However, you are starting with 10/50 charge, and your regular damage cap has been raised to 50,000. Take advantage of group charging mechanics to make things.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Ask the NON SELF INSERT OF THE ARBITER for advice.
2/50 -> 0/30 /placeholder except I use all 3 actions and my leftover charge from the previous mechanics to fire a penetrating shot directly through the bodyguard into Thanos, just to see if I can do that
The heavens and earth untangle: the writhing pillar spins. Magical energy cores align with the spark of Descendancy: sheathed eyes emerge from their power-cradling valleys. An incineration ritual burns away some hypothetical moment. An Artificial History of Distortion, created, converted, consumed.
Despara glows with the light of history farming. He knows your Internet history, and it is terrifying.
Alright, now that I have some idea of how to play and what is going on( I should honestly probably look at the start, I'll do that once I'm done here) I begin the creation of a blue hilt. Weapons can be made right? Probably. I really need to look.
You create a blue Hilt. As an aside, I won't be keeping track of your charges. That's on you. If you don't count them I'll assume you don't have them.
(As an aside, you currently have four.)
1 CP
Since Cake Guy acts before his cake, apparently, maybe, he will be the one to use the Icing.
1) With an expert hand, he spreads it across The Cake, Pattern Elegant. The chill of frost spreads downwards slowly, Cake and Topping interacting. Colder then ice, the Confection changes in consistency slightly. He's paid the price for this power. He Doesn't Care. There's more of cake, there's more to bake, it's everywhere. He's gotta be the one to lift this loaf, or he would go insane, living life in the wrong lane.
It's cold as ice, he paid a price, i don't care. There's more of caaaake.... There's more to baaaaake.... Cold as ice.
Frost feels, to me, like a generally defensive sort of effect, magically. What about taste wise? A Frozen meal may be left alone to de-frost, due to the solidity of ice. Eating too much frozen stuff chills the insides until you stop. Ice can be refreshing, but what environment are we even fighting in?
Translation of effect suggestions:
>Defensive boost.
>potentially a debuff to those who target you
>possibly displays as the boost reducing with time, but not actually reducing it.
not from there but still suggested: Defensive boost should apply to Knights Of Kake as well, bringing them closer to low-godmodder defensive powers. Maybe give a general frost theme to future cakes.
[End Action One]
2)Then, Cake Guy runs over to the Actors. he saves them from the conception that they can only pretend to do things, and teaches them to bake cakes. Soon enough, the actors are skilled bakers, and hard at work. CAKE.
[End Action Two]
3) Cake Guy doesn't seem to have realized he has three actions yet. So, CJOEbob grabs the third. He'll tell CG about it later, but right now, using the Priceytag is urgent. He quickly focusses and slows perceptual time. However, he's very careful not to use Time Magic of any sort to do this. Instead, being a cake, his mind is not running on a standard human-brain-like substrate. Rather, it runs on a potentially much more efficient descendancy™ computing method. It is this he takes advantage of hear, setting the descendancy™ to run at approximately 29387x speed, plus or minus up to 8 zeros. He uses this Descendancy™ computing to search the voidnet- and his own general information sources from living in three places and times- to locate transport companies. Big ones, spanning the void but relatively unimportant. Then, he negotiates a deal with each of them to give free transport to any cakes who wish to join their Sovereign, and some general advertisement as to the existence of The Cake. Using the presence of a multitude of companies, competition keeps costs low, which allows him to take the next step(s) of his plan: he goes to find the Nihil magna, or whatever their equivalent is. Noting the presence of many official elements, even small ones such as EOJ, He greases a few hands to get Cakes added to the potential list. It won't be long now...
Finally, he takes all the Money he has left, and uses it to purchase the best cooking facility anyone's ever seen, complete with nanobakers, universe-class chefs, its own personal cake-based forcefield, infinite resources, and it even has a connection to the lab, allowing them to work together!
The Priceytag has now been used. intended Effects:
To me, confectionarians effectiveness greatly increased (free transport).
Charge up somewhat decreased(free transport, advertising)
Renown up (nihil magna, advertisement) a lot
Cake Generation up (specifically, it makes a cake-cooking facility)
possibility of cakes being an element officially up.
Cake Guys Cake- standard action 1 (apparently old-style): Points out that he wasn't attacking thanos, but buffing the Fire Elementals thanos held, and that those elementals were clearly able to be near thanos's hand despite the BLUE, showing the BLUE doesn't destroy whatever-fire-elementals are. plus, thanos can breath, so blue doesn't stop air from showing up, and if it stopped cakes thanos would be doomed to starve. so there.
The Cake is Ice'd, becoming Hecka Cool. So cool, in fact, that a gang of flunky Ice Elementals have gravitated around it.
The Actors can all bake cakes, now. Wonderful.
Alas, there are only 36 official Elements, as you well know. The whole Element shtick is kinda confusing, actually, on how they're all decided and things. Point is, you can't bribe an Element onto the axis. Cash monies not spent.
That argument is ridiculous, and is burned up by the !!BLUE!! before it can hit Thanos or the fire elementals.
(@Dragon Of Hope, don't look at the very start. This that we're in right now is a side event where we fight Thanos. The beginning has different rules, regulations, and tribulations [Like a Godmodder rather than Thanos] than right now. I think this started around... Page 47?)
The Kitsune let's out a low whistle of appreciation. Seraph weapons were arguably rarer than Orange ones because of all the Raid Bosses you had to kill to get one. And this? Was two guns in one. Electric to fry shields and electronics. Slag to increase damage to flesh-bags. And a high fire rate to mow down a crowd.
In the words of a wise raccoon... "Oh... YEAH."
Action 1: Spray bullets across the Merc Ranks, slagging them all with high RoF Splash damage.
Action 2: "Thanos, pal, you're doing this all wrong! No one needs to get snapped out of existence! All you need to do is use the 6 stones to rewrite a few laws of the universe and make it so that planets have a carrying capacity for life that increases as more life shows up! A barren wasteland could support maybe 10 people, but when they show up, it gets a bit brighter, could handle 100, they show up, the place gets breathable, 1000 max population, so on and so forth! Rethink your strategy, buddy."
Basically, a philosophical/logical attack on Thanos directly.
Action 3: 1/30 CP +1 = 2/30 CP
10,000 Electric damage to each of the Merc Squads. Dividing damage across multiple entity groups diminishes action effectiveness. At least they're all slagged now.
Thanos has already been over the whole Entropy shtick, and why that makes making more resources unfeasible.
x3. - = FOCUS = -
Mageye, returned from dead, looks at Thanos, extremely pissed. "Oh come on, a nuke? Out of all the things you could turn my eye into, a nuke is what you choose? How creative"
"Anyway, so I'm going to like, beat you up now, okay."
"...I would do some philosophy thing to demoralize you, but honestly I'm not good at that sort of thing."
"ANYWAY."
He takes a step into the Chairobot, and sets it to autopilot, just in case.
Then, he summons more of those hands, and more, and more, an- okay dude stop before you trigger the CoR.
Then swirl around him, and begin constructing something, working fast. As they near completion, the battlefield is suddenly bathed in darkness. Spotlights suddenly activate, one for each side of the field. The work of the hands is revealed: A giant tennis stadium. Purple flame erupts, and a horribly familiar logo is formed...
TENNIS FOR TWO Mode: 1v1 [LOCKED]
Ping Pong: [Y]
Play To: [5]
A voice booms out. <PLAYER ONE, STEP UP.> Mageye takes a step forward, entering the spotlight. A beeping sound is heard. <PLAYER ONE CONFIRMED: FLAMING MAGEYE.> <PLAYER TWO, STEP UP.> In the darkness, Thanos is sadly caught unaware as constructs of blue flame materialize around him, and before he can react, he finds himself thrown into the spotlight. <PLAYER TWO CONFIRMED: THANOS.> <GAME BEGINNING IN 1... 2.... 3......>
<P I N G>
A ball, crafted of purple flame, suddenly streaks towards Mageye, who whips out a tennis racket and swipes it, yelling out "!pong". The ball is sent flying back towards Thanos, who finds himself without a racket. In a panic, he raises up the Infinity Gauntlet, only for the ball to smash right through him, creating a ball sized hole in his stomach and... <+1 POINT TO PLAYER ONE. PLAYER ONE: 1 POINT. PLAYER TWO: NONE. WAA, WAA, WAAAAA.>
Thanos takes a breath in. Okay, he'll just use the Stones. Tennis is no match for- <ERROR. VALID RACKET NOT FOUND ON PLAYER: THANOS. CHEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS....>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 1. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -1.>
Thanos takes one look at the scoreboard and just summons a tennis racket to wield. A floating ball appears, again, in front of him, which he slams back towards- <ERROR. YOU MUST USE !ping TO LAUNCH THE BALL. CHEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 1. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -2.>
<LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.>
<P I N G>
Thanos, now actually knowing how to play, or so he thinks, raises his racket, yells "!ping", and launches the ball. Mageye, raises his own racket and yells "!pong!" again, deflecting it. Thanos, ready to deflect it, raises his racket, and.. It smashes right through him again, this time shredding his racket, along with going straight through him. <+1 POINT TO PLAYER ONE. PLAYER ONE: 2 POINTS. PLAYER TWO: -2.> "Silly Thanos, you're supposed to say !pong when knocking the ball back! Haven't you ever played Tennis for Two before? Let's try this again."He raises his racket up, the ball appears, and Mageye shouts out "!ping".. sending the ball into the sky, above Thanos. Thanos leaps up, and- <OUT OF BOUNDS DETECTED. CHEATER, CHEATER, CHEEEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 2. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -3.>
Thanos thinks, probably, that that means the ball went out of bounds too, right? kekno. Another one of those hands narrowly deflects the ball as Thanos leaps up, sending flying down... and.. <OH, AND +1 SCORE TO PLAYER ONE.>
<P1: 3. P2: -3>
Mageye does the "tut tut" thing, and repeats the whole ping, sending the ball flying at Thanos, Thanos, finally knowing how to play, is ready, and raises his racket! Unfortunately for him, The possessed mercenary who was bodyguarding Thanos has finally broken through the ring of hands guarding the arena, and rushes forward to defend Thanos from the projectile streaking towards him! But right as he steps foot on the court... <ERROR. EXTRA PLAYER DETECTED ON PLAYER (TWO)'S SIDE. CHEATER. IT'S TENNIS FOR TWO, NOT THREE.>
The mercenary is blown sky high and laser'd by the Tennis for Two menu, while Thanos... <DEDUCTING POINTS....>
<P1: 3. P1: -4.>
<WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, ARE YOU ACTUALLY THIS BAD AT THE GAME.>
<TROLL JEGUS CHRIST.>
Mageye, laughing, holds his racket, yells out !ping, and sends the ball Thanos-ward. Thanos raises his racket, yells !pong, and readies himself...
And nothing happens. Mageye yells out !pong, spins around, and deflects the ball. Thanos readies himself, confident, and-
The ground beneath him shifts, the hands having rigged it. He trips, his hand still in the air, right as the ball streaks past, slamming into the Gauntlet and finishing off the racket. The gauntlet takes a *heavy* hit, huge chunks being ripped off, and the gems being very close to falling out. <YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS FOR WASTING MY TIME...>
<P1: 3. P2: -5.>
<AND YOU GOT INFINITY GAUNTLET SHARDS EVERYWHERE. THAT'S LITTERING.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS..>
<P2: -6>
<YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOUR ATTEMPTED TEAMMATE TO STOP. LOOK, HE'S TRYING TO RUN BACK ON COURT.>
The mercenary is nuked again. <DEDUCTING POINTS.>
<P2: -7.>
<YOU DIDN'T SHOW ANY RESPECT FOR YOUR RACKET.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<P2: -8.>
<AND WORST OF ALL...>
<YOU DIDN'T REMEMBER TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<P2: -99>
<ALL IN ALL...>
<YOU LOOSE.>
<PLAYER ONE WINS.>
<PLAYER TWO WILL NOW EXPERIENCE THE COST OF LOOSING TENNIS FOR TWO.>
A purple flame suddenly telefrags Thanos's stomach. It grows, spreading throughout his entire body, burning him apart. It then proceeds to grow even more, exploding in a fiery blast. The entire stadium is consumed, leaving no trace of Tennis for Two. Thanos reappears five minutes later, gems loose, severly damaged, and looking very, very, traumatized.
Goal of this post: Deal heavy damage to thanos and his bodyguards, deal heavy, heavy, damage to the Infinity Gauntlet.
ORDERS
The Chairomech, now piloted by Mageye, then zooms in and suckerpunches him into the sky ala Team Rocket. Then, it takes down the High Priest by blasting him High into the sky!
Quite unexpectedly, three people show up. Two girls, one guy.
"We're in the middle of a warzone," Observed the first, dressed in crimson. "Give me a break!" said the second, dressed in black. "Teleportation is hard." "Ladies?" The third person points at Thanos. He's dressed in red. "Who's that?" "I think that's Thanos. You know, from Infinity War?" "Who? What?" "Oh, right. You're a DC fan." "So, run or stay?" The second calls a winged spear into their hands. "Do you really need to ask?" "I need to recover before we can go back, anyways."
Action 1:
The First person moves towards Proxima Midnight's Host with a Fan in hand. A young lady appearing like this is bound to be hiding something up her sleeves, right? Why is she approaching so confidently? What's her angle? This puts Proxima Midnight on Guard. Even more on guard than normal. The First person inches closer, and closer, and closer, until WHACK! She hits Proxima Midnight with her fan. Instantly, the powers of the Guard-breaking Fan become apparent. Proxima Midnight is stunned. Mostly because she doesn't know about the Guard-Breaking abilities of a Fan. She's also stunned because she's still being hit with the fan, again and again in a stunlock. Such is life.
Action 2:
The Second person flies over to the Actors. Focusing power through her spear, she opens up a cluster of microportals to the Elemental Planes of Life, Blood, Fire, and Ranch. Blood energy quickly coalesces into flesh, which is quickly seared by flame, saturated with life, and garnished with concentrated flavour. "What?" she says. "You've never seen someone cooking with portals before? Trust me, this is the best 'steak' you've ever tasted."
She smiles encouragingly. Do the actors take it? That's up to them. It does smell good....
Action 3:
The Third person Steals the Time from the atoms in the Air directly in front of him. This creates a solid plane of cover which he stands behind. He's just charging. He also has a rifle out now. That's something that might come in handy later.
Entity Orders:
All actors, please attack the Medibots! Fire Elementals, keep doing what you're doing! It's going great!
~~~~~~~~~~
3x Action:
I build a Vibranium Golem, with real Vibranium and a Positronic Brain! The Mind Elemental sees this potential host and quickly swoops in (I might have pushed it a little), only to find that it can't move.
Wait, what? Oh, silly me. I didn't build any joints or points of articulation into the Golem. It's just a man-shaped mass of Vibranium with an unwitting host.
Before the Mind Elemental can jump back out, I trade the Vibranium Golem, with the Elemental inside it, to the Transdimensional Safe.
You do so. The SAFE apparently decides that this fulfills the criteria of the third request. The SAFE spews out what appears to be a couple of drones, designed after cherries.
Cake Guys Cake- standard action 2 (apparently old-style):
He decides to go on a swashbuckling adventure. or something. Raise renown, ya know? also, get away from this messed up battlefield.
Yeah, sure.
Cake Guys Cake hops through universes until one trips his 'Interesting to write about but not going to cause a paradox with myself, probably' autosensors™ (ItWAbnGtCaPwMP sensors: Never leave home without'm!™) and drops into it. It's not too far from the fight, but fairly removed. And, while it takes a while (Wherein he saves thousands by helping some world leaders stop being idiots for a mere three minutes, stops all vehicle crashes for half an hour, cures three cancer patients, and...sigh... wins a bake-off), he figures out how this universe differs from the standard pre-apoc terra firma model that seems to show up bizarrely often:
Everyone has the same sense of humour.
Like, it's not that people Generally find the same kind of thing funny, or usually agree whether a joke is good or bad. No, Literally Everyone has the same sense of humour, with visible deviations constituting maybe a quarter of a percent of the population. Genetics, Nurture, and- as long as they understand the underlying context even vaguely- culture? They play no role. Thinking of a funny joke is like winning the lottery. And it makes you famous. Comedians are simultaneously revered for their universal appeal, and the hardest job in the world to succeed in. Oh, it used to be that you could be a good- on a local level- comedian just by being able to execute already well-known jokes which involve physical difficulties, but the rise of video put an end to that. Now being a Comedian requires a highly gifted mind and fast iteration time- or a large joke-research company backing you. It is whispered in dark corners of the world that the governments have all searched for their best jokes, and have them at the ready to distract enemy soldiers in wars.
Political parties still exist, for all an insult to either side amuses all members of the world. Advanced teams search for political jokes, which support their ideology. This is the best form of propaganda. Find a joke with inherent political implications, and fame and money are not your limit. you could lead a company- decide policy on the world scale, by releasing or refusing to do so.
Further investigation in between saving over half a million lives a minute reveals the why, though not quite the how.
This is a world where The (near-complete) Psychological Unity of Mankind was not one mans soon-to-be-discarded belief, but a clear truth; where every module of the brain was universal and set in stone. Including humour. Including the Details of humour.
At any rate, not feeling like trying to figure out how it happened, CG's C uses some simple probability manipulation souped up a few thousand times to find the best cake-advocating joke in the universe. Renown up! the fame probably helped too.
(Action 2 - Attacking)
The Loony stares at the open crate holding a variety of animal masks and just makes a sound of confusion. Having no idea what to do with the crate's content, he simply hoards it from the players as he's the one to obtain it and instead picks up his slingshot for some moon crashing action!
Pondering, he makes a note that he probably won't be using these mask anytime soon. In fact, he seems to take more interest at the crate itself rather than its content.
Placing a lid over the crate holding the animal mask, the Loony climbs on the relatively large crate, loads the slingshot with a moon chunk from the Mountain Dew soda cluster and jumps off it. In his time in the air, he quickly performs a 360 no scope hat trick front flip spin and fires the soda based moon chunk upwards and out of the orbit. A few seconds later, the moon chunk proceeds to fall from the atmosphere... at least 1000 times its previous size.
With the workings of the Lunar Slingshot returning the Mountain Dew moon chunk into a proper moon, it starts descending towards the battlefield. From the trajectory I've sent it in, taking account of the physics and different gravitational fields, it's more than likely to strike the Mercenary squads. That not if the MLG horns, which were generated from its reputation as a meme, don't bleed their ears off.
(Action 3 - Fulfilling request)
Noticing the request for MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK, the Moon Guy/Loony/guy with Moon Slingshot/Guy with MILK, talks into a walkie talkie he got from somewhere, and a pod holding a compact MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK factory heads towards the SAFE. Upon reaching a good 100m from the target, the pod explodes to reveal the MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK factory, not compacted, and somehow get into the SAFE to fulfill the request.
Actually, if you include the BIG BALL OF CHARGE, you have 5 CP.
You fire the Lunar Slingshot. The second the Moon Chunk expands, though, you realize your mistake. A whole moon is a massive object to sling at a small battlefield. Using the Lunar Slingshot, you realize, results in massive damage to the battlefield as a whole. You've made a terrible mistake.
Fortunately, Thanos interrupts by Timestopping The Apocalypse Moon.
The Airhorns still do 10,000 damage to each of the merc squads.
The SAFE closes, accepting your offering. You are in turn provided with a Quiver of Lightningbolts. Metal.
Neo turns to Kit really quickly. "No, we started with him having power and space. We have managed to swap which he had. Not the best, but we did something."
Focused
Neo then looks at Thanos, and he smirks. Suddenly, as Thanos has just the time to think, 'What is it this time?', he feels gravity's pull much more sideways than usually. He gets suddenly whisked away sideways, and therefore gets to feel that delicious flame from the blue fire surrounding him. If he risked moving enough to look at himself, he would see he is glowing a deeper blue than the field surrounding him. He then gets flung around swiftly, being launched this way and that by the gravitational energy. This time, he appears to have learned from Neo's last attack, and is shielding the Gauntlet. He gets flung upwards, and then more upwards, before being dragged down, and even further downwards. He flies to the left, then the right, then left again, then right again. Then, Neo stops flinging him around, and shoots a bomb at him. Then he blasts him with a laser that does exactly as much as the bomb. Then, Neo opens up some type of mental pause menu, before letting Thanos's head get buried a few feet under ground. (For the record: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B (bomb), A (laser Attack) start (mental pause menu), then he just shoved him into the ground.)
Charged : ( 1 CP )
Scene 1 (this is gonna be in the movie, right?) - The alien takes a second to reminisce about how many actions were just wasted by trying to attack the !!BLUE!!. With that done, he taps the stealth button on his wrist controller.
"Now, it's time to play... Guess How He Fails!"
Duh duh duh duh, duh-duh. Duh duh duh duh, duh-duh. Duh duh duh-duhduh duh-duhduh duh-duhduh duh duh duh, duh-duh.
"Today's contestants are Sally Sure, Richard Right, and Carl Correct. I'm sure this'll be fun. Today's question is, as it always is, how will he fail? The scenario: Space. A small war has started between Thanos and a group of reality warpers. One of them is attempting to sneak around using the stealth button on his seemingly faulty wrist controller. You'll each get thirty seconds to write your answers. Begin."
Doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo doo! DOO-DOo-Doo-doo-doo Doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo. Doo, doo doo doo, doo, doo, doo. Duh duh duh!
"Time's up. Let's start with Sally. What do you have?" "I put that his button won't work at all."
"Okay, let's see if she's right." Err Err. "Oop, sorry. That's incorrect. Next up, we have Richard. What did you put?" "I said that the button will only make the wrist controller undetectable."
"Interesting. Let's see if that's right." Err Err. "Aw, sorry Richard, that's wrong. Lastly we have Carl. What was your answer?" "I had that it would disintegrate him, which would be him disappearing."
"Ooh, I like that one. Is he right?" Err Err. "Sorry about that, but you're still wrong. The correct answer is 'The button will give him a stupid old lady disguise.' That's our show. We'll see you tomorrow."
[Insert Credits]
Fortunately for the Blue Brigadier, Proxima Midnight is too busy watching this amazing show to pay attention to him as he sneaks past in an old lady outfit.
Scene 2 - Now that the Blue Brigadier has snuck past the bodyguard, he feels perfectly fine taking off the costume. He keeps the wig though. It's fashionable. He looks at the !!BLUE!! in disgust. "Alright Thanos, I guess everyone, including me, is too stupid to remember the weakness of the !!BLUE!!. Hmm... Stupid?... That's it! I remember! The flaming blue heart of the whatever it's called is only weak to one thing. Orange Sherbet. "Why?" you may ask. Well, it's the exact opposite of a giant blue slime monster/dictator. No one ever gets too large of servings of orange sherbet, it's cold, not warm, it's more solid than it is liquid, as opposed to slime, which is more liquid than solid, it's nice and friendly instead of a monster/dictator, and its orange! I even have my orange sherbet button ready." With that "explained," the alien presses his orange sherbet button and fires it at Thanos, quenching the fire of the !!BLUE!!.
Scene 3 - Now, with Thanos totally and utterly able to be hit maybe probably no one knows, the Blue Brigadier looks at a set of five buttons, each one acting as the corner of a pentagonal shape. He presses the bottom left button twice, then the bottom right, followed by a combo of the middle left and right, middle left and right, then finished with a top and middle right. The Blue Brigadier enters some sort of action pose, ready to fight. Then, out of nowhere, his left foot kicks at Thanos's foot twice, causing him to suffer slight balance issues. His right foot then swings around and slams hard into Thanos's side. Before he can recover, the brigadier unleashes a rapid jab combo with his left and right hands. Finally, he jumps up, slams his head into Thanos's, lands, but then immediately jumps back up with an uppercut, hitting Thanos square in the jaw. The blue alien steps back and immediately is stuck doing heavy breathing. "I forgot *breathe* how much *breathe* it hurts *breathe* to use the command *breathe* exoskeleton." He drops down to the ground. "Glad that's over."
Everything goes according to plan... except that that's the wrong shade of blue. Because of this, your orange is the wrong shade of orange to cancel out the !!BLUE!! fully. Thanos is left with a tiny bit of blue, which protects him from your attack. Alas, it fades shortly after a bit of dirt and blood mucks it up. Either way, good job knocking out Thanos' defenses.
Thanos re-invokes the soul of Corvus Glaive. The Corvus Mech will spawn even more Corvus Glaives now!
He then waves his hand. A few Extras are Mind Controlled. Because they aren't main characters, this is solved by the rest of the extras murdering them. Their losses aren't felt very much.
Next, he uses control over reality to transform Dropop's hands into explosions. 10 damage, and Space Gem dropped.
He picks up the Space Gem with a solemn lack of flare.
He uses it fold the Moon in on itself via higher dimensional space. Its compressed form is much more massive, but also much more focused. Whoever it hits is going to regret not having enough defenses...
The mercenaries all shoot at the Extras, doing a total of 40,000 damage to them. Squad A then activates their Flame Throwers. A bunch of Ice Elementals go down to the intense heat. Squad C activates their Tesla Canon, chain-lightningifying the Extras.
Proxima Midnight, realizing where that giant robot is aiming, decides to go out with a bang. She shoots CGC for 10 damage.
Medibot Squad A heals the mercs for 10,000 hp each.
Medibot squad B heal Thanos for 10,000 hp each.
The SAFE spits out no more requests. That doesn't mean that you can't make your own, though.
"Will trade two sheep for three wood. Good trade."
Feel free to attempt to answer the last request if you don't have one of your own.
The Game Master appears to leer eerily at True Neo, despite the mask it has instead of a face having a seemingly serene expression. Its thick, silver hair flows in an unnatural manner, falling not straight down; instead, it falls in various directions. Its arms... wings? You can't really tell which. You can't tell how many there are either. All you know is that the way that it is holding them outwards is hypnotizing.
...You get the feeling that you're going to have a hard time scanning this thing. Or interacting with it at all, actually.
CGC throws some money around. Unfortunately, lots is lost because of the state of the economy (Thanos growls in philosophical here), but it all works out in the end.
The Corvus Mech spews out three Corvus Glaives, who begin bodyguarding Thanos. It then uses twin Glaive Strikes to murderize Proxima Midnight. Again. Again.
The Fire Elementals struggle against their captor, but are powerless to escape.
The A-list Actors and B-list Actors weren't ordered this round, and so bake in the Cakery.
The Lab sits around, not being manned or having been ordered to scan things.
Pweron Dum appears to not notice The Game Master, despite it slowly turning its head to face them.
"Okay guys. You have a bunch of options open to you. Start using them. Artifacts? Use them before they get stolen. The Lab? start sticking entities in there to speed up its science. Also, scan scan scan!
Besides that, don't be caught by the Moon."
The F[!!!]ing Moon. Compressed into a small sphere of doom. Currently Time Stopped.
[PT-BOSS] Thanos. 68,000/500,000 Hp. 12 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. [A] Damaged Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Gems have (removed percentage/10) chance of slipping out. -10,000 attack. Being heated by the captured Fire Elementals. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Flaming Mageye, Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [PT] Corvus Glaive Hoard. 150,000/150,000 Hp. Bodyguarding Thanos. x3 [N] Medibot squad A. 40,000/40,000 Hp, 10R. Healing Mercenary squads. x3 [N] Medibot squad B. 40,000/40,000 Hp, 10R. Healing Thanos. x5 [N] Mercenary Squad A. 15,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Flame Throwers: 0/3. (Slagged) [N] Mercenary Squad B. 15,000/30,000 Hp. (Slagged) [N] Mercenary Squad C. 15,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Tesla Canon: 0/3. (Slagged) [Incoming support]
Attack with two.
RPG Arm: 3/3. Ignores dodge. The G is for Glaive.
Spinning Glaive Arm: -10% Accuracy. Shreds AC. More effective with consecutive use.
Glaive Arm: Can be used to defend or attack.
Splinter Glaive: 3/10. Massive damage to one entity, while splinters affect all enemies.
[PC-BOSS-Pastry Paladin] The Cake 250,000/250,000 HP. Knight of Kake: 3/6. To me, confectionarians: 3/8. Renown: [10]. Kingdom size: [4]. Rules over cakes. Frostbrew Icing applied. Cool.
Knight of Kake: Should the target accept, they are given the [KoK] buff until they stop obeying the Cake or die. Renown: Rises as tales of valor and flavor are spread across the Void. Kingdom size: Equal to number of [KoK]. At 10, The Cake is invulnerable to attack. To me, Confectionarians!: Summon a variety of loyal Cakes equal to Renown spent. All have the [KoK] buff. Rules over cakes: The Cake has semi-elemental control over cakes. also, it's a great cake. kinda like a gem, but not really, and weaker.
[AT-Pastry Paladin] Ice Elementals. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [KoK]. x3 [AT-Pastry Paladin] Cake Guy's Cake. 10/20 Hp. Basically just a player. [KoK]. [A] Priceytag. Cash Money: [$9,161]. Distractingly shiny (and has a tendency to scream a lot). Minor control over Code.
[AT-Pastry Paladin-BOSS] Megacorp Cakery. 500,000/500,000 Hp. Cake: 4/10. [AT-Pastry Paladin] Dwarf Reality Elemental. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Supporting Cake I guess?. [AT] A-list Actors. 122,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. (Can bake) [AT] B-list Actors. 170,000/250,000 Hp. (Can bake) [AT-Dropop] Extras. 162,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 2. (Can bake) [AT-Elite-Dropop] Laboratory. 500,000/500,000 Hp. 10 AC. Science: 3/10, Faster when manned. Free Scan: Ready. [Lab] Snowflake Canon. 60,000/60,000 Hp. Special Snowflakes: 3/3. READY! [AT-REDACTED] Dwarf Fire Elementals. 3,000/3,000 Hp. x4. Captured in Thanos' Gauntlet. [AT-REDACTED] Cherry Bombs. 1/1 Hp. No target. x5 [AT] Dropop. 10/20 Hp. Not actually vulnerable. [AT] True Neo. 20/20 Hp. [A] Power Finger. Choose which finger to equip it to. [AT] Heaven's Guardian. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Loony. 20/20 Hp. [A] Lunar Slingshot. Moonchunks: [2]. [A] Quiver of Lightning Bolts: 5/5. [A] Crate of... Animal Masks? [AT] Blue Brigadier. 20/20 Hp. [A] Acidic Spray: 2/3. [AT] Kitsugare. 20/20 Hp. [A] The Florentine. Electric damage. +50% damage, applies Slagged. Ammo: 7/10. [AT] Dragon of Hope. 20/20 Hp. [A-Part]<==|
Thanos Skeledop
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
Three actions. 20,000-30,000 action power.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Ask the NON SELF INSERT OF THE ARBITER for advice.
