Charging: 24/50
The alien presses yet another button. A piece of paper falls out and floats gently to the ground. The alien picks it up and reads it. "Insufficient equipment!? What!? I didn't even know I had a limit on how much stuff I could use! I've already switched the batteries! Now I have to go and get more spare parts! This is great. Just great. Everyone else has these "amazing" powers, and I'm stuck with a broken wrist watch! This is so unfair!" As he continues to shout about how unfair this is, a holo-screen pops up. "Use the Vacuum to collect new parts," it reads. "What vacuum?" he asks, slowly calming down. He looks down at his vast number of buttons and finally finds a button that looks like a trash bag. He presses it, and a small vacuum nose rises out, similar to the way a snake rises out of a basket. The vacuum slithers forwards, dragging the alien around as it does. It comes upon one of the mercenary groups and starts to vacuum. This random show of immense suction surprises the group. This shock leads them to accidentally let go of their specific artifact. The vacuum consumes the part and a loading screen pops up. The icon spins for about three minutes before finally saying, "Error: Too Many Items Have Been Imputed. Please Remove the Last Item Entered." The alien grumbles as he takes the item out of the vacuum nozzle. "I thought you were out of materials," he whines. He turns the wrist controller over and looks at the button he pressed to get the note. He reads the symbols very closely and ultimately complains, "Since when did I have an Error button. What's even the point? It's completely useless. Why would I want it to tell me about errors I don't even have." He continues to whine and moan for his remaining action time.
The sudden influx of new players has lead to me coming to a decision: It's time for a rules change!
More specifically, we're going to try and shift away from our old action system. Because it's complicated and complex and kinda dumb.
Anyways, here we go:
1: Actions. You have three per round, which can be divided between any number of posts. Action power for the intermission is back down to 20k-30k damage/healing per. Besides generic numbers actions, you can always use actions for shenanigans.
2: No matter what, you can only perform three Actions per round. This does not include Bonus Actions or Free Actions.
3: Actions can also be stored for later. The shorthand for stored actions is Charge/Charge Points/CP. The maximum amount of CP you can have stored at any given time is 30. You may use as much CP as you have to boost any of your Actions by as much as you want.
And that, uhhh, should be it I guess. Anyways, have some example posts if you don't quite get the Action system yet:
ThatOneGuy said:
I use two actions to punch a guy.
I then charge up an energy attack... +1 CP.
[Cake Guy]
He gaspe! Thanos is back-left-forwards! but... he Bodyguarded! by a merchant nanny! HMmmmmm...
Well, merchant nannys can't be everywhere! Cake guy controls some of the many cakes littering the battlefield- specifically, those which do not have any merchants or mercanaries between them and thanos- and launches them at Thanos at a high speed! said launched cakes are also spinning, which means - given the level of staleness some of them have reached- it's as deadly as being hit by a buzzsaw! Ha-HA! CAKE WUIL TRIJUMPHFH!
[Cake Guy's CaJOEbob]
First off, I float over to Thanos- having a conversation across a battlefield is likely unpleasant. As well, I make sure that, if there are cakes stuck to his ears, i vibrate them when i talk so the sound goes through. "Greetings, Thanos. I see you have returned at speed, but this begs the question: how much time did you spend in the past? did you make sure to look for alternative methods of saving the multiverse, taking into account descended? If you didn't, I will of course gladly allow you to leave again- though I'd prefer you bring me with you this time, so I can help."
As I say this, and wait for Thanos' response, I sense the area. I abhor the theme-limitations inherent in my being a Cake, but for the time being, I shall abide. On that note, I notice there's a lot of microscopic bits of cake floating in the air because of all this confectionary-controlling combat. So, while I am able to only really use cakes... nothings stopping me from controlling the flow of the air with them. Or its temperature. As I talked to Thanos, I prepared my grip on the Cake particles in the air around the fire elementals- and within the fire elementals, as well.
If Thanos returns to the past, so much the better. If he does not, however... I seize hold of the cake particles, and vibrate them. Those in the elementals vibrate at immense speeds, beginning to resemble solar plasma. This allows the Fire Elementals he is holding to rapidly grow in heat and size. Furthermore, the Air begins to rush towards them, spurred by cakebits, which is another fuel source for a flame. Through no direct action of my own- for I can mostly only control cakes, at the moment- Thanos is now holding a violently expanding sphere of superheated gasses and other types of fire.
5/50
~~~~~~
I tell the Elite Mercenary that if he joins my service and helps us defeat Thanos, I'll give him as much gold or other precious materials as he could desire, plus the opportunity to travel the universe, meet all kinds of fascinating life, and kill it in my service.
I also mention that Thanos intends to kill half the universe, so even if Thanos had all the Infinity Stones right now, the Elite Mercenary would have at best a 50% chance of survival. With Players in the mix, that drops to 0%. But if he joins us, the odds go up. 90% or better, given Thanos's current HP.
I finally say that the Elite Mercenary has one chance since this is a time-sensitive offer.
I spawn a variant of Jessica and Okarun's context-sensitive self-enchanting brass knuckles, then make them into an ammo-making sniper pistol with the same functionality and fill that gun request if it's still in place, including adding some starter pack ammo for tax purposes. Relatedly, apologize for the delay, and add a note detailing how the item works (essentially, just keep firing and as long as you're in combat it'll buff the gun adapting to what kind of problem the enemy is) requesting Slag weapon variants and Corrosive if slag-type is unfeasible: preferably not incendiary if at all possible. wait no saving that for later
I attempt to pull Thanos out of a hat, kidnapping one of their bodyguards instead! The bodyguard is then attacked by rabbits, saws, bats, flight attendants, fabric, and the various other things you can find in a hat, but the point is they're out of the way and can't easily jump to Thanos' defense.
Unable to directly say words, the Loony continues to spout sounds that sound like words but really isn't... Urg, I'm straining my mind trying to make sense of myself but the basic gist is that the now resident Loony is some sort of Lunar Lord, and somehow a Canadian(Did those Canadians colonized a moon in this dimension?), thus always has a few pieces of local moons.
While I'd like to say I'm a Lunar Lord, my new title simply puts my position into question (At least it works with him being one of those maple leaves.). At least I have a couple of Moonchunks in my sampling bag...
6/50
~~~~~~~
I ask the Fire Elementals to start heating the metal around the Infinity Gem housing in the Gauntlet and make it more likely that gems will fall out.
~~~~~~~
[If the Elite Mercenary has defected, aim this at Thanos!]
I pull out a Sniper Gatling Automatic Rifle and start taking shots at the mercenary which is bodyguarding Thanos, aiming center mass but also definitely at his head. Yes, I'm going for the head.
The sniper shots keep coming thick and fast (that's where the Gatling bit comes in), and the mercenary is actually having to block some of them rather than auto-parry. That means he doesn't notice when I sneak up behind him and slit his throat.
What? Oh, you think the Rifle should have stopped firing. Well, I did say it was Automatic. It wasn't even fine print!
The Loony continues to fiddle around with his multiple pouches and takes out some cheese.
Huh, seems like he noticed that TSIEN (Transdimensional Safe-based Item Exchange Network) and start throwing the cheese into it to fulfill the request.
Now that I take a closer look at it... That cheese looks like the Cheese De La Lune. Don't know why it has French and English words in it name, but I think that's rather exotic enough. Also gives a bit of weight into being a Lunar lord of sort, maybe. That cheese awfully looks like Lunatic Cheese... Well, either way, they both should be exotic enough for the request.
11/11: New Guy On The Block.
Yes, I'm using it already.
A masked, male kitsune appears on the battlefield. "A Maliwan SMG? That's my JAM!" he confidently says, before pulling a Purple-Rarity Bandit-Crafted Heady Snider, setting it into the SAFE, and tossing a note into the thing beside it. "I'll take it Slagged, honey. This bad boy should have plenty of stopping power for you, now give me my elemental debuff! And it better be Purple or Orange. Or their equivalent in E-Tech. Just don't gyp me, or I will hunt you down, kill you, loot your corpse, and sell all you had.
Love, Kitsugare."
Yup, life on the borderlands was good.
Wait.
What was this place?
Thanos? Oh no. Time to get shooty...
(The charges are being thrown at the SAFE trade, to get good money no whammies out of it.)
EDIT: After looking at the rules of the SAFE, he then throws a few White pistols and Assault Rifles in there, too. Death and Taxes, horrible, unavoidable things. Well, he had dodged Death a few times now, but Taxes? He was STILL paying off the IDIRS.
Welcome to the game, Kitsugare. Anyways, the SAFE accepts your payment. Yay paying fees and taxes.
It gives you... by god, it gives you... [A] The Florentine. Electric damage. +50% damage, applies Slagged. Ammo: 10/10.
3/50
[Cake Guy]
He turns back towards the Cake, and sees a big mech! Such glory! he quickly helps put The Cake into the Chairmech's cockpit, using his control over Cakes to control the space the cake is in to let it fit. this is probably a worthy vessel for The Cake.
[Entity Suggestions: The Cake kills thanos if it thinks it can, or else tries to get the Priceytag to buy icing from the SAFE, or else shovels cheesecakes into the SAFE for the old armour pieces i guess
cake doesn't have much choice with piloting the mecha yet either so just do whatever.
Reality Elemental, can it try to bend reality to help with theft of the Priceytag?]
[CakJOEbob!]
It has already been summarily proven that, While the mercenaries are powerful, their protections simply cannot stand up to reality warping. A human can be skilled. Incredibly skilled. Perfect in their field, even! But that doesn't mean there's anything they can do against a Cake. Not that it even matters, really! Proxima Midnights host may have been an elite mercenary, once, but all that 'elite' nature? That comes from skill. Skill Proxima Midnight doesn't have. Proxima Midnight is skilled, I'm sure, at combat. but that skill comes in a body smaller, or perhaps larger, a body of another race, a body with superhuman speed and endurance. When Midnight weighs the options, they expect to move thrice their speed, at least. This leads to mistakes. When Midnight acts, they expect to last for likely hours. with the Strain they will need to put themselves under to have a hope, they will last minutes. and that's ignoring the differences in nerves, morphology, muscle configuration... Midnight may near a sizeable fraction of their skill in a few hours of practice, but they have no hours.
They have moments. Perhaps- Perhaps! - a minute, if they're lucky.
And true luck will hurt both sides in either measure.
Cakes rise from the ground, reconfigure into a tiered cake, and then spear towards Corvus Glaive from all directions. Proxima midnight is forced to chose one to stop first. As their choice becomes clear, the cake they planned to stop bubbles midflight, and splits in two. Though they cannot see it, the others remain unsplit. Proxima must again choose. and whatever their choice, the chosen spear-cake bubbles and splits again. And then Proxima Midnight realizes their mistake, when the cake they tried to block flies up and over them, into the air. They cannot jump so high, in this body they've borrowed. And so the Cakespikes stab into Corvus Glaive as Proxima Midnight tries helplessly to defend him,and as Corvus falls to the ground, unable to survive the injuries as the cakes split up within him and continue to ravage his body, Proxima Midnight is too shocked, too confused, and most of all... too slow. they don't realize the ones above are still unused, and stab downwards towards the Priceytag, stealing it.
[base attack is like 15,000 which would be enough to instanook glaiveface and that's got a fair bit of flavour for the bodybypass (which is an official thing) so it should work]
[BONUS ACTION // CP if needed]
CaJOEbob! puts a fair bit of money into the Safe- maybe 60ish dollars?(Inflation shouldn't be affecting them if they're prior to us,and statistically if they're after they'll be far enough after for it to more or less return to normal. if this logic fails, keeps adding money. While JOEbob is not as fanatical about The Cake as Cake Guy is, he does recognize the power available. Plus, he's already become basically two players! if this keeps up, things will be very good.), with a note reading 'here is money. want food. specifically, want icing. for a cake. make sure the icing isn't THYME. also make sure the icing isn't ranch dressing. Other sauces of value comensurate to this money are acceptable. preferably, the sauce should grant godlike power to cakes.'
After a Brief Headache I after questioning what just happened I get to work
Side Thanos GReat! now that the lab is created I head inside of it to see if they cranked anything out of it yet, and if they haven't Then I'll offer them some Candy Corn Liquor to help them crank out new stuff
Side Maniac Right I get to work to....Wait why was I here again? Eh whatever, I'll just offer some of the Employees some Candy Corn Liquor to boost their imaginations, as it did wonders for a friend of mine.
Charging 23/50
"It is time to do my duty as a Stanglose Brigadier." The alien heads over to one of the mercenary squads. He presses yet another button upon his wrist controller. A handful of pamphlets pop out of it and the alien starts passing them out. The mercenaries start riffling through them, not really caring what the have to say. The alien steps up on a random rock and addresses the group. "Hello, hello. I am a Stanglose Brigadier, and today, I am here to talk about what that means. I know, I know, it sounds entirely stupid. I was like you once. I might not have been some sort of intergalactic mercenary, but I definitely was a tough customer... for every intergalactic buffet in sight. Yup, I ran about half of them out of business... for the five minutes it takes them to make their food. Anyways, the Stanglose Brigade is a great place to learn how to be part of something bigger than yourself. I know, you all think this squadron you're a part of is as large as you can get, but trust me, we have a wide range of roles that one can take. Here, we have some sign up sheets." He presses another button and shoves some papers into their hands. "Right, you need some pens too. Here you go." He passes out a lot of Stanglose Brigade brand pens and continues to ramble on about all of the different things one can accomplish in the Stanglose Brigade. The mercenaries are entirely dumbfounded by the information they are receiving. They're too busy absorbing it all to notice the explosive ink used to write each document. The alien presses one last button and the papers all explode in each mercenary's presumed face. "I need to tell the rest of the brigade that the confetti ink is a bit... excessive."
Neo looks to Thanos, and his army of body guards. He sees no need to deal with the bodyguards this time around, so he does something clever. He looks at the blue fire that Thanos is wreathed in. He finds it unlikely he can turn it back to what it was, with the reality stone against him, and all that. But he doesn't need to. He instead, without giving any indicator besides his eyes flashing blue, draws an ability from a video game that he knows little about, but his creator programmed into his abilities. Suddenly, Thanos notices something. The fire now burns him every time he moves, without any qualifiers. And stationary objects that reach within the fire are not affected by it.
Another odd coincidence, even though Neo would now have 5/50 cp, he is now at 0/50.
OOC: Gonna give you a quick rundown. First off, this runs on the action per post rule, so I suggest doing something with this post instead of doing effectively nothing. Second, we only get passive charging currently. DC plans to posibly add active charging, but currently, you just get a bar over your action that is n/50, with n being your current charge stored. You increment it twice per round, and have two actions per round, which are each allotted one per post. I will demonstrate below. We are trying to kill Thanos. The BLUE thing is a shield protecting him, which he made out of part of an attack from the future (time stone shenanigans), and he has body guards, although creative action description can sneak past bodyguards. Attack any PT thing, but avoid the guard possessed by proxima midnight, since she will just be given a new host anyways if you do. I tried something of an undertale reference with my above action to turn the blue fire barrier thing against him. Ask for any more details.
IC:
1/50
Neo thinks a bit more, and realizes that he may be able to do just one more trick, and end things. First, out of curiosity, he pops off a hand, and attaches the power finger to the hand's pointer finger. A new hand replaces the detached one.
He then does his actual non messing around action, and begins focusing once more. He then thinks of the mind stone he had somehow missed snagging at the start of the fight... Mind... Thanos... That's it!
He then proceeds to pull out a small bomb. It is what is now known as a mini bang bomb. It is based on a black hole bomb made by his creator in a battle with a Godmodder. He never mentioned if he used it, but he used the overall setup to create bombs that create a miniaturized Big Bang to destroy the target. Best for small targets. He then opens up a very small hole in space time, and, making sure Thanos cannot see him do so, tosses the bob in, having set the timer. It ticks for about two seconds, and then blows up in his head, the energy redirected back into him with a portal array that surrounds his brain, one of the better sections of the bomb. Absolutely zero collateral damage, and high energy yield on the target.
As the bomb is about to appear in his head, his neck is suddenly bent in such a way that the bomb spawns inside the !!BLUE!!, instantly incinerating. The movement happened in between instants, thereby not activating the flames. Time Gem action used.
Charging: 24/50
The alien presses yet another button. A piece of paper falls out and floats gently to the ground. The alien picks it up and reads it. "Insufficient equipment!? What!? I didn't even know I had a limit on how much stuff I could use! I've already switched the batteries! Now I have to go and get more spare parts! This is great. Just great. Everyone else has these "amazing" powers, and I'm stuck with a broken wrist watch! This is so unfair!" As he continues to shout about how unfair this is, a holo-screen pops up. "Use the Vacuum to collect new parts," it reads. "What vacuum?" he asks, slowly calming down. He looks down at his vast number of buttons and finally finds a button that looks like a trash bag. He presses it, and a small vacuum nose rises out, similar to the way a snake rises out of a basket. The vacuum slithers forwards, dragging the alien around as it does. It comes upon one of the mercenary groups and starts to vacuum. This random show of immense suction surprises the group. This shock leads them to accidentally let go of their specific artifact. The vacuum consumes the part and a loading screen pops up. The icon spins for about three minutes before finally saying, "Error: Too Many Items Have Been Imputed. Please Remove the Last Item Entered." The alien grumbles as he takes the item out of the vacuum nozzle. "I thought you were out of materials," he whines. He turns the wrist controller over and looks at the button he pressed to get the note. He reads the symbols very closely and ultimately complains, "Since when did I have an Error button. What's even the point? It's completely useless. Why would I want it to tell me about errors I don't even have." He continues to whine and moan for his remaining action time.
You steal the Acidic Spray. Squad B is sent into a panic.
Thanos uses the Mind Gem to place a Mental Barrier around himself. This is going to be bothersome.
He then uses the Reality Gem to reconstruct the Glaive Splinters into corvus glaives. Somehow, the mech still functions.
He then proceeds to infuse a dozen Corvus Glaive Souls into the corvus glaives. The Corvus Mech will now start spitting out Corvus Glaives.
Finally, he... stands still? Damn, that !!BLUE!! is going to be a bother for him, isn't it?
Corvus Glaive, High Priest of Thanos shills out some cash money to order some units from some stupid megacorp. They will arrive in one round. Meanwhile, -200 bling. He also, in the meanwhile, summons eight medidrones for 10$ each.
The mercenaries all attack Pweron Dum. -12 Hp.
Proxima Midnight and the Other Elite continue their duties.
Medibot Squad A heals the mercs for 10,000 hp each.
Medibot squad B heals the Elite Merc for 10,000 hp each.
The SAFE spits out another request:
"I require more MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK. Will provide the WRATH OF ZEUS HIMSELF in an easily consumable format in exchange."
"Will trade two sheep for three wood. Good trade."
"I'm bored. Entertain me."
Feel free to attempt to answer one or all of those requests, or make your own requests.
CGC fails to speak to Thanos, as the blue flames consume all the cake around him. On the bright side, though, they absolutely shred through High Priest of Thanos, CG. The Priceytag is back in your hands, guys.
They then proceed to insert 60$ into the SAFE. They receive, in turn, some Frostbrew Icing.
The Cake uses two sword glaive swipes to attack the Elite Bodyguard, freeing it of possession. And life.
The Fire Elementals struggle against their captor, but are powerless to escape.
The A-list Actors and B-list Actors weren't ordered this round, and so won't do jack squat.
"Dammit, guys. Seriously?"
The Lab sits around, not being manned or having been ordered to scan things.
Pweron Dum rolls their eyes.
"Wow, okay guys. Looks like I have to remind you all again to order your entities! Order them! Please! Also, good usage of the SAFE. Use those items wisely.
Also, I have no idea what to do about one of our BOSSes being used against us like this. Real rock and another rock they've put us between. Try and fix that if you can, guys."
[PT-BOSS] Thanos. 18,000/500,000 Hp. 12 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. !!BLUE!! [A] Damaged Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Gems have (removed percentage/10) chance of slipping out. -10,000 attack. Being heated by the captured Fire Elementals. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time. [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Flaming Mageye, Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [PT-Elite] Proxima Midnight's Host. 200,000/200,000 Hp. Ready to Rumble: 2/6. Bodyguarding Corvus Glaive Thanos too. [N-Elite] Greater Mind Elemental. 100% integrity. Looking for a host... [N] Medibot squad A. 40,000/40,000 Hp, 10R. Healing Mercenary squads. x3 [N] Medibot squad B. 40,000/40,000 Hp, 10R. Healing Elite Mercenary. x5 [N] Mercenary Squad A. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Flame Throwers: 2/3. [N] Mercenary Squad B. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [N] Mercenary Squad C. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Tesla Canon: 2/3. [Incoming support]
Attack with two.
RPG Arm: 2/3. Ignores dodge. The G is for Glaive.
Spinning Glaive Arm: -10% Accuracy. Shreds AC. More effective with consecutive use.
Glaive Arm: Can be used to defend or attack.
Splinter Glaive: 2/10. Massive damage to one entity, while splinters affect all enemies.
[PC-BOSS-Pastry Paladin] The Cake 250,000/250,000 HP. Knight of Kake: 2/6. To me, confectionarians: 2/13. Renown: [0]. Kingdom size: [1]. Rules over cakes. Sans Icing. Piloting the Corvus Mech.
Knight of Kake: Should the target accept, they are given the [KoK] buff until they stop obeying the Cake or die. Renown: Rises as tales of valor and flavor are spread across the Void. Kingdom size: Equal to number of [KoK]. At 10, The Cake is invulnerable to attack. To me, Confectionarians!: Summon a variety of loyal Cakes equal to Renown spent. All have the [KoK] buff. Rules over cakes: The Cake has semi-elemental control over cakes. also, it's a great cake. kinda like a gem, but not really, and weaker. doesn't have any icing: The Cake can be upgraded once, provided the ownership or creation of sufficiently high-quality icing/sauce.
[AT-Pastry Paladin] Cake Guy's Cake. 20/20 Hp. Basically just a player. [KoK]. [A] Priceytag. Cash Money: [$11,161]. Distractingly shiny (and has a tendency to scream a lot). Minor control over Code. [A] Frostbrew Icing. Chilly. As in cold. Not the food. [AT-Pastry Paladin] Dwarf Reality Elemental. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Supporting Cake I guess?. [AT] A-list Actors. 112,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. [AT] B-list Actors. 150,000/250,000 Hp. [AT-Dropop] Extras. 292,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 5. +10,000 Hp to Lab/round. [AT-Elite-Dropop] Laboratory. 500,000/500,000 Hp. 10 AC. Science: 2/10, decreases when manned. Free Scan: Ready. [Lab] Snowflake Canon. 60,000/60,000 Hp. Special Snowflakes: 2/3. [AT-Karpinsky?] Dwarf Fire Elementals. 3,000/3,000 Hp. x4. Captured in Thanos' Gauntlet. [AT] Dropop. 20/20 Hp. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [AT] True Neo. 20/20 Hp. [A] Power Finger. Choose which finger to equip it to. [AT] Heaven's Guardian. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Loony. 20/20 Hp. [A] Lunar Slingshot. Moonchunks: [3]. [A] Crate of... Animal Masks? [AT] Blue Brigadier. 20/20 Hp. [A] Acidic Spray: 2/3. [AT] Kitsugare. 20/20 Hp. [A] The Florentine. Electric damage. +50% damage, applies Slagged. Ammo: 10/10.
Thanos Skeledop
As one final note, all your charges that were in the old format are POOF'd. Sorry, mangoes. Uhhh, to make it up for you its all been coalesced into a BIG BALL OF CHARGE. Everyone (with the exception of Dragon of Hope and Paradoxdragonpaci, who have three CP.) has 1 CP. Also, the BIG BALL OF CHARGE can do something *magical*. I leave it to you all to vote on what it should be.
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
Three actions. 20,000-30,000 action power.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Ask the NON SELF INSERT OF THE ARBITER for advice.
2/50 -> 0/30 /placeholder except I use all 3 actions and my leftover charge from the previous mechanics to fire a penetrating shot directly through the bodyguard into Thanos, just to see if I can do that
The heavens and earth untangle: the writhing pillar spins. Magical energy cores align with the spark of Descendancy: sheathed eyes emerge from their power-cradling valleys. An incineration ritual burns away some hypothetical moment. An Artificial History of Distortion, created, converted, consumed.
Despara glows with the light of history farming. He knows your Internet history, and it is terrifying.
Alright, now that I have some idea of how to play and what is going on( I should honestly probably look at the start, I'll do that once I'm done here) I begin the creation of a blue hilt. Weapons can be made right? Probably. I really need to look.
1 CP
Since Cake Guy acts before his cake, apparently, maybe, he will be the one to use the Icing.
1) With an expert hand, he spreads it across The Cake, Pattern Elegant. The chill of frost spreads downwards slowly, Cake and Topping interacting. Colder then ice, the Confection changes in consistency slightly. He's paid the price for this power. He Doesn't Care. There's more of cake, there's more to bake, it's everywhere. He's gotta be the one to lift this loaf, or he would go insane, living life in the wrong lane.
It's cold as ice, he paid a price, i don't care. There's more of caaaake.... There's more to baaaaake.... Cold as ice.
Frost feels, to me, like a generally defensive sort of effect, magically. What about taste wise? A Frozen meal may be left alone to de-frost, due to the solidity of ice. Eating too much frozen stuff chills the insides until you stop. Ice can be refreshing, but what environment are we even fighting in?
Translation of effect suggestions:
>Defensive boost.
>potentially a debuff to those who target you
>possibly displays as the boost reducing with time, but not actually reducing it.
not from there but still suggested: Defensive boost should apply to Knights Of Kake as well, bringing them closer to low-godmodder defensive powers. Maybe give a general frost theme to future cakes.
[End Action One]
2)Then, Cake Guy runs over to the Actors. he saves them from the conception that they can only pretend to do things, and teaches them to bake cakes. Soon enough, the actors are skilled bakers, and hard at work. CAKE.
[End Action Two]
3) Cake Guy doesn't seem to have realized he has three actions yet. So, CJOEbob grabs the third. He'll tell CG about it later, but right now, using the Priceytag is urgent. He quickly focusses and slows perceptual time. However, he's very careful not to use Time Magic of any sort to do this. Instead, being a cake, his mind is not running on a standard human-brain-like substrate. Rather, it runs on a potentially much more efficient descendancy™ computing method. It is this he takes advantage of hear, setting the descendancy™ to run at approximately 29387x speed, plus or minus up to 8 zeros. He uses this Descendancy™ computing to search the voidnet- and his own general information sources from living in three places and times- to locate transport companies. Big ones, spanning the void but relatively unimportant. Then, he negotiates a deal with each of them to give free transport to any cakes who wish to join their Sovereign, and some general advertisement as to the existence of The Cake. Using the presence of a multitude of companies, competition keeps costs low, which allows him to take the next step(s) of his plan: he goes to find the Nihil magna, or whatever their equivalent is. Noting the presence of many official elements, even small ones such as EOJ, He greases a few hands to get Cakes added to the potential list. It won't be long now...
Finally, he takes all the Money he has left, and uses it to purchase the best cooking facility anyone's ever seen, complete with nanobakers, universe-class chefs, its own personal cake-based forcefield, infinite resources, and it even has a connection to the lab, allowing them to work together!
The Priceytag has now been used. intended Effects:
To me, confectionarians effectiveness greatly increased (free transport).
Charge up somewhat decreased(free transport, advertising)
Renown up (nihil magna, advertisement) a lot
Cake Generation up (specifically, it makes a cake-cooking facility)
possibility of cakes being an element officially up.
Cake Guys Cake- standard action 1 (apparently old-style): Points out that he wasn't attacking thanos, but buffing the Fire Elementals thanos held, and that those elementals were clearly able to be near thanos's hand despite the BLUE, showing the BLUE doesn't destroy whatever-fire-elementals are. plus, thanos can breath, so blue doesn't stop air from showing up, and if it stopped cakes thanos would be doomed to starve. so there.
(@Dragon Of Hope, don't look at the very start. This that we're in right now is a side event where we fight Thanos. The beginning has different rules, regulations, and tribulations [Like a Godmodder rather than Thanos] than right now. I think this started around... Page 47?)
The Kitsune let's out a low whistle of appreciation. Seraph weapons were arguably rarer than Orange ones because of all the Raid Bosses you had to kill to get one. And this? Was two guns in one. Electric to fry shields and electronics. Slag to increase damage to flesh-bags. And a high fire rate to mow down a crowd.
In the words of a wise raccoon... "Oh... YEAH."
Action 1: Spray bullets across the Merc Ranks, slagging them all with high RoF Splash damage.
Action 2: "Thanos, pal, you're doing this all wrong! No one needs to get snapped out of existence! All you need to do is use the 6 stones to rewrite a few laws of the universe and make it so that planets have a carrying capacity for life that increases as more life shows up! A barren wasteland could support maybe 10 people, but when they show up, it gets a bit brighter, could handle 100, they show up, the place gets breathable, 1000 max population, so on and so forth! Rethink your strategy, buddy."
Basically, a philosophical/logical attack on Thanos directly.
Action 3: 1/30 CP +1 = 2/30 CP
x3. - = FOCUS = -
Mageye, returned from dead, looks at Thanos, extremely pissed. "Oh come on, a nuke? Out of all the things you could turn my eye into, a nuke is what you choose? How creative"
"Anyway, so I'm going to like, beat you up now, okay."
"...I would do some philosophy thing to demoralize you, but honestly I'm not good at that sort of thing."
"ANYWAY."
He takes a step into the Chairobot, and sets it to autopilot, just in case.
Then, he summons more of those hands, and more, and more, an- okay dude stop before you trigger the CoR.
Then swirl around him, and begin constructing something, working fast. As they near completion, the battlefield is suddenly bathed in darkness. Spotlights suddenly activate, one for each side of the field. The work of the hands is revealed: A giant tennis stadium. Purple flame erupts, and a horribly familiar logo is formed...
TENNIS FOR TWO Mode: 1v1 [LOCKED]
Ping Pong: [Y]
Play To: [5]
A voice booms out. <PLAYER ONE, STEP UP.> Mageye takes a step forward, entering the spotlight. A beeping sound is heard. <PLAYER ONE CONFIRMED: FLAMING MAGEYE.> <PLAYER TWO, STEP UP.> In the darkness, Thanos is sadly caught unaware as constructs of blue flame materialize around him, and before he can react, he finds himself thrown into the spotlight. <PLAYER TWO CONFIRMED: THANOS.> <GAME BEGINNING IN 1... 2.... 3......>
<P I N G>
A ball, crafted of purple flame, suddenly streaks towards Mageye, who whips out a tennis racket and swipes it, yelling out "!pong". The ball is sent flying back towards Thanos, who finds himself without a racket. In a panic, he raises up the Infinity Gauntlet, only for the ball to smash right through him, creating a ball sized hole in his stomach and... <+1 POINT TO PLAYER ONE. PLAYER ONE: 1 POINT. PLAYER TWO: NONE. WAA, WAA, WAAAAA.>
Thanos takes a breath in. Okay, he'll just use the Stones. Tennis is no match for- <ERROR. VALID RACKET NOT FOUND ON PLAYER: THANOS. CHEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS....>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 1. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -1.>
Thanos takes one look at the scoreboard and just summons a tennis racket to wield. A floating ball appears, again, in front of him, which he slams back towards- <ERROR. YOU MUST USE !ping TO LAUNCH THE BALL. CHEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 1. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -2.>
<LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.>
<P I N G>
Thanos, now actually knowing how to play, or so he thinks, raises his racket, yells "!ping", and launches the ball. Mageye, raises his own racket and yells "!pong!" again, deflecting it. Thanos, ready to deflect it, raises his racket, and.. It smashes right through him again, this time shredding his racket, along with going straight through him. <+1 POINT TO PLAYER ONE. PLAYER ONE: 2 POINTS. PLAYER TWO: -2.> "Silly Thanos, you're supposed to say !pong when knocking the ball back! Haven't you ever played Tennis for Two before? Let's try this again."He raises his racket up, the ball appears, and Mageye shouts out "!ping".. sending the ball into the sky, above Thanos. Thanos leaps up, and- <OUT OF BOUNDS DETECTED. CHEATER, CHEATER, CHEEEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 2. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -3.>
Thanos thinks, probably, that that means the ball went out of bounds too, right? kekno. Another one of those hands narrowly deflects the ball as Thanos leaps up, sending flying down... and.. <OH, AND +1 SCORE TO PLAYER ONE.>
<P1: 3. P2: -3>
Mageye does the "tut tut" thing, and repeats the whole ping, sending the ball flying at Thanos, Thanos, finally knowing how to play, is ready, and raises his racket! Unfortunately for him, The possessed mercenary who was bodyguarding Thanos has finally broken through the ring of hands guarding the arena, and rushes forward to defend Thanos from the projectile streaking towards him! But right as he steps foot on the court... <ERROR. EXTRA PLAYER DETECTED ON PLAYER (TWO)'S SIDE. CHEATER. IT'S TENNIS FOR TWO, NOT THREE.>
The mercenary is blown sky high and laser'd by the Tennis for Two menu, while Thanos... <DEDUCTING POINTS....>
<P1: 3. P1: -4.>
<WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, ARE YOU ACTUALLY THIS BAD AT THE GAME.>
<TROLL JEGUS CHRIST.>
Mageye, laughing, holds his racket, yells out !ping, and sends the ball Thanos-ward. Thanos raises his racket, yells !pong, and readies himself...
And nothing happens. Mageye yells out !pong, spins around, and deflects the ball. Thanos readies himself, confident, and-
The ground beneath him shifts, the hands having rigged it. He trips, his hand still in the air, right as the ball streaks past, slamming into the Gauntlet and finishing off the racket. The gauntlet takes a *heavy* hit, huge chunks being ripped off, and the gems being very close to falling out. <YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS FOR WASTING MY TIME...>
<P1: 3. P2: -5.>
<AND YOU GOT INFINITY GAUNTLET SHARDS EVERYWHERE. THAT'S LITTERING.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS..>
<P2: -6>
<YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOUR ATTEMPTED TEAMMATE TO STOP. LOOK, HE'S TRYING TO RUN BACK ON COURT.>
The mercenary is nuked again. <DEDUCTING POINTS.>
<P2: -7.>
<YOU DIDN'T SHOW ANY RESPECT FOR YOUR RACKET.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<P2: -8.>
<AND WORST OF ALL...>
<YOU DIDN'T REMEMBER TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<P2: -99>
<ALL IN ALL...>
<YOU LOOSE.>
<PLAYER ONE WINS.>
<PLAYER TWO WILL NOW EXPERIENCE THE COST OF LOOSING TENNIS FOR TWO.>
A purple flame suddenly telefrags Thanos's stomach. It grows, spreading throughout his entire body, burning him apart. It then proceeds to grow even more, exploding in a fiery blast. The entire stadium is consumed, leaving no trace of Tennis for Two. Thanos reappears five minutes later, gems loose, severly damaged, and looking very, very, traumatized.
Goal of this post: Deal heavy damage to thanos and his bodyguards, deal heavy, heavy, damage to the Infinity Gauntlet.
ORDERS
The Chairomech, now piloted by Mageye, then zooms in and suckerpunches him into the sky ala Team Rocket. Then, it takes down the High Priest by blasting him High into the sky!
Quite unexpectedly, three people show up. Two girls, one guy.
"We're in the middle of a warzone," Observed the first, dressed in crimson. "Give me a break!" said the second, dressed in black. "Teleportation is hard." "Ladies?" The third person points at Thanos. He's dressed in red. "Who's that?" "I think that's Thanos. You know, from Infinity War?" "Who? What?" "Oh, right. You're a DC fan." "So, run or stay?" The second calls a winged spear into their hands. "Do you really need to ask?" "I need to recover before we can go back, anyways."
Action 1:
The First person moves towards Proxima Midnight's Host with a Fan in hand. A young lady appearing like this is bound to be hiding something up her sleeves, right? Why is she approaching so confidently? What's her angle? This puts Proxima Midnight on Guard. Even more on guard than normal. The First person inches closer, and closer, and closer, until WHACK! She hits Proxima Midnight with her fan. Instantly, the powers of the Guard-breaking Fan become apparent. Proxima Midnight is stunned. Mostly because she doesn't know about the Guard-Breaking abilities of a Fan. She's also stunned because she's still being hit with the fan, again and again in a stunlock. Such is life.
Action 2:
The Second person flies over to the Actors. Focusing power through her spear, she opens up a cluster of microportals to the Elemental Planes of Life, Blood, Fire, and Ranch. Blood energy quickly coalesces into flesh, which is quickly seared by flame, saturated with life, and garnished with concentrated flavour. "What?" she says. "You've never seen someone cooking with portals before? Trust me, this is the best 'steak' you've ever tasted."
She smiles encouragingly. Do the actors take it? That's up to them. It does smell good....
Action 3:
The Third person Steals the Time from the atoms in the Air directly in front of him. This creates a solid plane of cover which he stands behind. He's just charging. He also has a rifle out now. That's something that might come in handy later.
/RPnull
He glanced at the three who just appeared. Even though they were completely different from The Dude he had fought so long ago, he knew those souls... Though all wore different masks, he could see through it all. Once, Kit had been a less chaotic old man, an embodiment of Fate. And he had been a war-forged veteran of alien invasions, an X-COM Commander. And they had been one destructive force together, known as The Dude. Said Dude had beaten him into the ground.
Better say hi!
Ignoring the fact that most souls did NOT retain memories, Kitsugare yelled out, waving, "HEY! DCCCV! IT'S ME, ELDER_CATHAR!"
Gods, that Kitsune did not understand meta-speak etiquette.
Entity Orders:
All actors, please attack the Medibots! Fire Elementals, keep doing what you're doing! It's going great!
~~~~~~~~~~
3x Action:
I build a Vibranium Golem, with real Vibranium and a Positronic Brain! The Mind Elemental sees this potential host and quickly swoops in (I might have pushed it a little), only to find that it can't move.
Wait, what? Oh, silly me. I didn't build any joints or points of articulation into the Golem. It's just a man-shaped mass of Vibranium with an unwitting host.
Before the Mind Elemental can jump back out, I trade the Vibranium Golem, with the Elemental inside it, to the Transdimensional Safe.
((Welcome, elder/kit! A quick rundown: This doesn't take place in the same canon as TFAF, instead being fought out in the Renewalverse, a reboot of oldcanon. You can still have your character be like, a veteran of a godmodding war like TFAF, but on the whole Dude thing, DC will have to decide.))
((Seems legit to me. Now excuse me while I babble metaverse-class nonsense...))
/null "Oh, sorry, sorry, I'm just in sync with the masks we wear and the puppets we are and the forces that pull the strings, and I know than The Dude and you are of the same maker. Don't mind me, I want Thanos dead just like you."
Hands shaking, "Drake" points his rifle at the Kitsune."...You're crazy. What sort of person calls themselves 'the Dude'? That's a terrible name to be referred as."
"I dunno, they sound like they had an interesting life."
/rpnull "It wasn't merely 'the Dude,' it was 'The Dude.' You can hear the capital 'The.' And if you're looking for a gunfight, well, I think mine is bigger..."
The kitsune pats Florentine, which gleams with energy it needed to release. "Also, using Time while Thanos still holds that Stone is kinda foolish, y'know?"
/rpnull "Well, not just Time..." he too sighs. "Also, uh, Soul and Mind and Reality. We have Space, and uh... I don't even know where Power is. We apparently haven't done our job too well, he didn't have any of them at first."
Cake Guys Cake- standard action 2 (apparently old-style):
He decides to go on a swashbuckling adventure. or something. Raise renown, ya know? also, get away from this messed up battlefield.
Yeah, sure.
Cake Guys Cake hops through universes until one trips his 'Interesting to write about but not going to cause a paradox with myself, probably' autosensors™ (ItWAbnGtCaPwMP sensors: Never leave home without'm!™) and drops into it. It's not too far from the fight, but fairly removed. And, while it takes a while (Wherein he saves thousands by helping some world leaders stop being idiots for a mere three minutes, stops all vehicle crashes for half an hour, cures three cancer patients, and...sigh... wins a bake-off), he figures out how this universe differs from the standard pre-apoc terra firma model that seems to show up bizarrely often:
Everyone has the same sense of humour.
Like, it's not that people Generally find the same kind of thing funny, or usually agree whether a joke is good or bad. No, Literally Everyone has the same sense of humour, with visible deviations constituting maybe a quarter of a percent of the population. Genetics, Nurture, and- as long as they understand the underlying context even vaguely- culture? They play no role. Thinking of a funny joke is like winning the lottery. And it makes you famous. Comedians are simultaneously revered for their universal appeal, and the hardest job in the world to succeed in. Oh, it used to be that you could be a good- on a local level- comedian just by being able to execute already well-known jokes which involve physical difficulties, but the rise of video put an end to that. Now being a Comedian requires a highly gifted mind and fast iteration time- or a large joke-research company backing you. It is whispered in dark corners of the world that the governments have all searched for their best jokes, and have them at the ready to distract enemy soldiers in wars.
Political parties still exist, for all an insult to either side amuses all members of the world. Advanced teams search for political jokes, which support their ideology. This is the best form of propaganda. Find a joke with inherent political implications, and fame and money are not your limit. you could lead a company- decide policy on the world scale, by releasing or refusing to do so.
Further investigation in between saving over half a million lives a minute reveals the why, though not quite the how.
This is a world where The (near-complete) Psychological Unity of Mankind was not one mans soon-to-be-discarded belief, but a clear truth; where every module of the brain was universal and set in stone. Including humour. Including the Details of humour.
At any rate, not feeling like trying to figure out how it happened, CG's C uses some simple probability manipulation souped up a few thousand times to find the best cake-advocating joke in the universe. Renown up! the fame probably helped too.
(Action 2 - Attacking)
The Loony stares at the open crate holding a variety of animal masks and just makes a sound of confusion. Having no idea what to do with the crate's content, he simply hoards it from the players as he's the one to obtain it and instead picks up his slingshot for some moon crashing action!
Pondering, he makes a note that he probably won't be using these mask anytime soon. In fact, he seems to take more interest at the crate itself rather than its content.
Placing a lid over the crate holding the animal mask, the Loony climbs on the relatively large crate, loads the slingshot with a moon chunk from the Mountain Dew soda cluster and jumps off it. In his time in the air, he quickly performs a 360 no scope hat trick front flip spin and fires the soda based moon chunk upwards and out of the orbit. A few seconds later, the moon chunk proceeds to fall from the atmosphere... at least 1000 times its previous size.
With the workings of the Lunar Slingshot returning the Mountain Dew moon chunk into a proper moon, it starts descending towards the battlefield. From the trajectory I've sent it in, taking account of the physics and different gravitational fields, it's more than likely to strike the Mercenary squads. That not if the MLG horns, which were generated from its reputation as a meme, don't bleed their ears off.
(Action 3 - Fulfilling request)
Noticing the request for MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK, the Moon Guy/Loony/guy with Moon Slingshot/Guy with MILK, talks into a walkie talkie he got from somewhere, and a pod holding a compact MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK factory heads towards the SAFE. Upon reaching a good 100m from the target, the pod explodes to reveal the MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK factory, not compacted, and somehow get into the SAFE to fulfill the request.
Neo turns to Kit really quickly. "No, we started with him having power and space. We have managed to swap which he had. Not the best, but we did something."
Focused
Neo then looks at Thanos, and he smirks. Suddenly, as Thanos has just the time to think, 'What is it this time?', he feels gravity's pull much more sideways than usually. He gets suddenly whisked away sideways, and therefore gets to feel that delicious flame from the blue fire surrounding him. If he risked moving enough to look at himself, he would see he is glowing a deeper blue than the field surrounding him. He then gets flung around swiftly, being launched this way and that by the gravitational energy. This time, he appears to have learned from Neo's last attack, and is shielding the Gauntlet. He gets flung upwards, and then more upwards, before being dragged down, and even further downwards. He flies to the left, then the right, then left again, then right again. Then, Neo stops flinging him around, and shoots a bomb at him. Then he blasts him with a laser that does exactly as much as the bomb. Then, Neo opens up some type of mental pause menu, before letting Thanos's head get buried a few feet under ground. (For the record: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B (bomb), A (laser Attack) start (mental pause menu), then he just shoved him into the ground.)
Charged : ( 1 CP )
Scene 1 (this is gonna be in the movie, right?) - The alien takes a second to reminisce about how many actions were just wasted by trying to attack the !!BLUE!!. With that done, he taps the stealth button on his wrist controller.
"Now, it's time to play... Guess How He Fails!"
Duh duh duh duh, duh-duh. Duh duh duh duh, duh-duh. Duh duh duh-duhduh duh-duhduh duh-duhduh duh duh duh, duh-duh.
"Today's contestants are Sally Sure, Richard Right, and Carl Correct. I'm sure this'll be fun. Today's question is, as it always is, how will he fail? The scenario: Space. A small war has started between Thanos and a group of reality warpers. One of them is attempting to sneak around using the stealth button on his seemingly faulty wrist controller. You'll each get thirty seconds to write your answers. Begin."
Doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo doo! DOO-DOo-Doo-doo-doo Doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo. Doo, doo doo doo, doo, doo, doo. Duh duh duh!
"Time's up. Let's start with Sally. What do you have?" "I put that his button won't work at all."
"Okay, let's see if she's right." Err Err. "Oop, sorry. That's incorrect. Next up, we have Richard. What did you put?" "I said that the button will only make the wrist controller undetectable."
"Interesting. Let's see if that's right." Err Err. "Aw, sorry Richard, that's wrong. Lastly we have Carl. What was your answer?" "I had that it would disintegrate him, which would be him disappearing."
"Ooh, I like that one. Is he right?" Err Err. "Sorry about that, but you're still wrong. The correct answer is 'The button will give him a stupid old lady disguise.' That's our show. We'll see you tomorrow."
[Insert Credits]
Fortunately for the Blue Brigadier, Proxima Midnight is too busy watching this amazing show to pay attention to him as he sneaks past in an old lady outfit.
Scene 2 - Now that the Blue Brigadier has snuck past the bodyguard, he feels perfectly fine taking off the costume. He keeps the wig though. It's fashionable. He looks at the !!BLUE!! in disgust. "Alright Thanos, I guess everyone, including me, is too stupid to remember the weakness of the !!BLUE!!. Hmm... Stupid?... That's it! I remember! The flaming blue heart of the whatever it's called is only weak to one thing. Orange Sherbet. "Why?" you may ask. Well, it's the exact opposite of a giant blue slime monster/dictator. No one ever gets too large of servings of orange sherbet, it's cold, not warm, it's more solid than it is liquid, as opposed to slime, which is more liquid than solid, it's nice and friendly instead of a monster/dictator, and its orange! I even have my orange sherbet button ready." With that "explained," the alien presses his orange sherbet button and fires it at Thanos, quenching the fire of the !!BLUE!!.
Scene 3 - Now, with Thanos totally and utterly able to be hit maybe probably no one knows, the Blue Brigadier looks at a set of five buttons, each one acting as the corner of a pentagonal shape. He presses the bottom left button twice, then the bottom right, followed by a combo of the middle left and right, middle left and right, then finished with a top and middle right. The Blue Brigadier enters some sort of action pose, ready to fight. Then, out of nowhere, his left foot kicks at Thanos's foot twice, causing him to suffer slight balance issues. His right foot then swings around and slams hard into Thanos's side. Before he can recover, the brigadier unleashes a rapid jab combo with his left and right hands. Finally, he jumps up, slams his head into Thanos's, lands, but then immediately jumps back up with an uppercut, hitting Thanos square in the jaw. The blue alien steps back and immediately is stuck doing heavy breathing. "I forgot *breathe* how much *breathe* it hurts *breathe* to use the command *breathe* exoskeleton." He drops down to the ground. "Glad that's over."
2/50 -> 0/30 /placeholder except I use all 3 actions and my leftover charge from the previous mechanics to fire a penetrating shot directly through the bodyguard into Thanos, just to see if I can do that
The heavens and earth untangle: the writhing pillar spins. Magical energy cores align with the spark of Descendancy: sheathed eyes emerge from their power-cradling valleys. An incineration ritual burns away some hypothetical moment. An Artificial History of Distortion, created, converted, consumed.
Despara glows with the light of history farming. He knows your Internet history, and it is terrifying.
Alright, now that I have some idea of how to play and what is going on( I should honestly probably look at the start, I'll do that once I'm done here) I begin the creation of a blue hilt. Weapons can be made right? Probably. I really need to look.
You create a blue Hilt. As an aside, I won't be keeping track of your charges. That's on you. If you don't count them I'll assume you don't have them.
(As an aside, you currently have four.)
1 CP
Since Cake Guy acts before his cake, apparently, maybe, he will be the one to use the Icing.
1) With an expert hand, he spreads it across The Cake, Pattern Elegant. The chill of frost spreads downwards slowly, Cake and Topping interacting. Colder then ice, the Confection changes in consistency slightly. He's paid the price for this power. He Doesn't Care. There's more of cake, there's more to bake, it's everywhere. He's gotta be the one to lift this loaf, or he would go insane, living life in the wrong lane.
It's cold as ice, he paid a price, i don't care. There's more of caaaake.... There's more to baaaaake.... Cold as ice.
Frost feels, to me, like a generally defensive sort of effect, magically. What about taste wise? A Frozen meal may be left alone to de-frost, due to the solidity of ice. Eating too much frozen stuff chills the insides until you stop. Ice can be refreshing, but what environment are we even fighting in?
Translation of effect suggestions:
>Defensive boost.
>potentially a debuff to those who target you
>possibly displays as the boost reducing with time, but not actually reducing it.
not from there but still suggested: Defensive boost should apply to Knights Of Kake as well, bringing them closer to low-godmodder defensive powers. Maybe give a general frost theme to future cakes.
[End Action One]
2)Then, Cake Guy runs over to the Actors. he saves them from the conception that they can only pretend to do things, and teaches them to bake cakes. Soon enough, the actors are skilled bakers, and hard at work. CAKE.
[End Action Two]
3) Cake Guy doesn't seem to have realized he has three actions yet. So, CJOEbob grabs the third. He'll tell CG about it later, but right now, using the Priceytag is urgent. He quickly focusses and slows perceptual time. However, he's very careful not to use Time Magic of any sort to do this. Instead, being a cake, his mind is not running on a standard human-brain-like substrate. Rather, it runs on a potentially much more efficient descendancy™ computing method. It is this he takes advantage of hear, setting the descendancy™ to run at approximately 29387x speed, plus or minus up to 8 zeros. He uses this Descendancy™ computing to search the voidnet- and his own general information sources from living in three places and times- to locate transport companies. Big ones, spanning the void but relatively unimportant. Then, he negotiates a deal with each of them to give free transport to any cakes who wish to join their Sovereign, and some general advertisement as to the existence of The Cake. Using the presence of a multitude of companies, competition keeps costs low, which allows him to take the next step(s) of his plan: he goes to find the Nihil magna, or whatever their equivalent is. Noting the presence of many official elements, even small ones such as EOJ, He greases a few hands to get Cakes added to the potential list. It won't be long now...
Finally, he takes all the Money he has left, and uses it to purchase the best cooking facility anyone's ever seen, complete with nanobakers, universe-class chefs, its own personal cake-based forcefield, infinite resources, and it even has a connection to the lab, allowing them to work together!
The Priceytag has now been used. intended Effects:
To me, confectionarians effectiveness greatly increased (free transport).
Charge up somewhat decreased(free transport, advertising)
Renown up (nihil magna, advertisement) a lot
Cake Generation up (specifically, it makes a cake-cooking facility)
possibility of cakes being an element officially up.
Cake Guys Cake- standard action 1 (apparently old-style): Points out that he wasn't attacking thanos, but buffing the Fire Elementals thanos held, and that those elementals were clearly able to be near thanos's hand despite the BLUE, showing the BLUE doesn't destroy whatever-fire-elementals are. plus, thanos can breath, so blue doesn't stop air from showing up, and if it stopped cakes thanos would be doomed to starve. so there.
The Cake is Ice'd, becoming Hecka Cool. So cool, in fact, that a gang of flunky Ice Elementals have gravitated around it.
The Actors can all bake cakes, now. Wonderful.
Alas, there are only 36 official Elements, as you well know. The whole Element shtick is kinda confusing, actually, on how they're all decided and things. Point is, you can't bribe an Element onto the axis. Cash monies not spent.
That argument is ridiculous, and is burned up by the !!BLUE!! before it can hit Thanos or the fire elementals.
(@Dragon Of Hope, don't look at the very start. This that we're in right now is a side event where we fight Thanos. The beginning has different rules, regulations, and tribulations [Like a Godmodder rather than Thanos] than right now. I think this started around... Page 47?)
The Kitsune let's out a low whistle of appreciation. Seraph weapons were arguably rarer than Orange ones because of all the Raid Bosses you had to kill to get one. And this? Was two guns in one. Electric to fry shields and electronics. Slag to increase damage to flesh-bags. And a high fire rate to mow down a crowd.
In the words of a wise raccoon... "Oh... YEAH."
Action 1: Spray bullets across the Merc Ranks, slagging them all with high RoF Splash damage.
Action 2: "Thanos, pal, you're doing this all wrong! No one needs to get snapped out of existence! All you need to do is use the 6 stones to rewrite a few laws of the universe and make it so that planets have a carrying capacity for life that increases as more life shows up! A barren wasteland could support maybe 10 people, but when they show up, it gets a bit brighter, could handle 100, they show up, the place gets breathable, 1000 max population, so on and so forth! Rethink your strategy, buddy."
Basically, a philosophical/logical attack on Thanos directly.
Action 3: 1/30 CP +1 = 2/30 CP
10,000 Electric damage to each of the Merc Squads. Dividing damage across multiple entity groups diminishes action effectiveness. At least they're all slagged now.
Thanos has already been over the whole Entropy shtick, and why that makes making more resources unfeasible.
x3. - = FOCUS = -
Mageye, returned from dead, looks at Thanos, extremely pissed. "Oh come on, a nuke? Out of all the things you could turn my eye into, a nuke is what you choose? How creative"
"Anyway, so I'm going to like, beat you up now, okay."
"...I would do some philosophy thing to demoralize you, but honestly I'm not good at that sort of thing."
"ANYWAY."
He takes a step into the Chairobot, and sets it to autopilot, just in case.
Then, he summons more of those hands, and more, and more, an- okay dude stop before you trigger the CoR.
Then swirl around him, and begin constructing something, working fast. As they near completion, the battlefield is suddenly bathed in darkness. Spotlights suddenly activate, one for each side of the field. The work of the hands is revealed: A giant tennis stadium. Purple flame erupts, and a horribly familiar logo is formed...
TENNIS FOR TWO Mode: 1v1 [LOCKED]
Ping Pong: [Y]
Play To: [5]
A voice booms out. <PLAYER ONE, STEP UP.> Mageye takes a step forward, entering the spotlight. A beeping sound is heard. <PLAYER ONE CONFIRMED: FLAMING MAGEYE.> <PLAYER TWO, STEP UP.> In the darkness, Thanos is sadly caught unaware as constructs of blue flame materialize around him, and before he can react, he finds himself thrown into the spotlight. <PLAYER TWO CONFIRMED: THANOS.> <GAME BEGINNING IN 1... 2.... 3......>
<P I N G>
A ball, crafted of purple flame, suddenly streaks towards Mageye, who whips out a tennis racket and swipes it, yelling out "!pong". The ball is sent flying back towards Thanos, who finds himself without a racket. In a panic, he raises up the Infinity Gauntlet, only for the ball to smash right through him, creating a ball sized hole in his stomach and... <+1 POINT TO PLAYER ONE. PLAYER ONE: 1 POINT. PLAYER TWO: NONE. WAA, WAA, WAAAAA.>
Thanos takes a breath in. Okay, he'll just use the Stones. Tennis is no match for- <ERROR. VALID RACKET NOT FOUND ON PLAYER: THANOS. CHEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS....>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 1. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -1.>
Thanos takes one look at the scoreboard and just summons a tennis racket to wield. A floating ball appears, again, in front of him, which he slams back towards- <ERROR. YOU MUST USE !ping TO LAUNCH THE BALL. CHEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 1. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -2.>
<LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.>
<P I N G>
Thanos, now actually knowing how to play, or so he thinks, raises his racket, yells "!ping", and launches the ball. Mageye, raises his own racket and yells "!pong!" again, deflecting it. Thanos, ready to deflect it, raises his racket, and.. It smashes right through him again, this time shredding his racket, along with going straight through him. <+1 POINT TO PLAYER ONE. PLAYER ONE: 2 POINTS. PLAYER TWO: -2.> "Silly Thanos, you're supposed to say !pong when knocking the ball back! Haven't you ever played Tennis for Two before? Let's try this again."He raises his racket up, the ball appears, and Mageye shouts out "!ping".. sending the ball into the sky, above Thanos. Thanos leaps up, and- <OUT OF BOUNDS DETECTED. CHEATER, CHEATER, CHEEEATER.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<PLAYER ONE SCORE: 2. PLAYER TWO SCORE: -3.>
Thanos thinks, probably, that that means the ball went out of bounds too, right? kekno. Another one of those hands narrowly deflects the ball as Thanos leaps up, sending flying down... and.. <OH, AND +1 SCORE TO PLAYER ONE.>
<P1: 3. P2: -3>
Mageye does the "tut tut" thing, and repeats the whole ping, sending the ball flying at Thanos, Thanos, finally knowing how to play, is ready, and raises his racket! Unfortunately for him, The possessed mercenary who was bodyguarding Thanos has finally broken through the ring of hands guarding the arena, and rushes forward to defend Thanos from the projectile streaking towards him! But right as he steps foot on the court... <ERROR. EXTRA PLAYER DETECTED ON PLAYER (TWO)'S SIDE. CHEATER. IT'S TENNIS FOR TWO, NOT THREE.>
The mercenary is blown sky high and laser'd by the Tennis for Two menu, while Thanos... <DEDUCTING POINTS....>
<P1: 3. P1: -4.>
<WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, ARE YOU ACTUALLY THIS BAD AT THE GAME.>
<TROLL JEGUS CHRIST.>
Mageye, laughing, holds his racket, yells out !ping, and sends the ball Thanos-ward. Thanos raises his racket, yells !pong, and readies himself...
And nothing happens. Mageye yells out !pong, spins around, and deflects the ball. Thanos readies himself, confident, and-
The ground beneath him shifts, the hands having rigged it. He trips, his hand still in the air, right as the ball streaks past, slamming into the Gauntlet and finishing off the racket. The gauntlet takes a *heavy* hit, huge chunks being ripped off, and the gems being very close to falling out. <YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS FOR WASTING MY TIME...>
<P1: 3. P2: -5.>
<AND YOU GOT INFINITY GAUNTLET SHARDS EVERYWHERE. THAT'S LITTERING.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS..>
<P2: -6>
<YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOUR ATTEMPTED TEAMMATE TO STOP. LOOK, HE'S TRYING TO RUN BACK ON COURT.>
The mercenary is nuked again. <DEDUCTING POINTS.>
<P2: -7.>
<YOU DIDN'T SHOW ANY RESPECT FOR YOUR RACKET.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<P2: -8.>
<AND WORST OF ALL...>
<YOU DIDN'T REMEMBER TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE.>
<DEDUCTING POINTS...>
<P2: -99>
<ALL IN ALL...>
<YOU LOOSE.>
<PLAYER ONE WINS.>
<PLAYER TWO WILL NOW EXPERIENCE THE COST OF LOOSING TENNIS FOR TWO.>
A purple flame suddenly telefrags Thanos's stomach. It grows, spreading throughout his entire body, burning him apart. It then proceeds to grow even more, exploding in a fiery blast. The entire stadium is consumed, leaving no trace of Tennis for Two. Thanos reappears five minutes later, gems loose, severly damaged, and looking very, very, traumatized.
Goal of this post: Deal heavy damage to thanos and his bodyguards, deal heavy, heavy, damage to the Infinity Gauntlet.
ORDERS
The Chairomech, now piloted by Mageye, then zooms in and suckerpunches him into the sky ala Team Rocket. Then, it takes down the High Priest by blasting him High into the sky!
Quite unexpectedly, three people show up. Two girls, one guy.
"We're in the middle of a warzone," Observed the first, dressed in crimson. "Give me a break!" said the second, dressed in black. "Teleportation is hard." "Ladies?" The third person points at Thanos. He's dressed in red. "Who's that?" "I think that's Thanos. You know, from Infinity War?" "Who? What?" "Oh, right. You're a DC fan." "So, run or stay?" The second calls a winged spear into their hands. "Do you really need to ask?" "I need to recover before we can go back, anyways."
Action 1:
The First person moves towards Proxima Midnight's Host with a Fan in hand. A young lady appearing like this is bound to be hiding something up her sleeves, right? Why is she approaching so confidently? What's her angle? This puts Proxima Midnight on Guard. Even more on guard than normal. The First person inches closer, and closer, and closer, until WHACK! She hits Proxima Midnight with her fan. Instantly, the powers of the Guard-breaking Fan become apparent. Proxima Midnight is stunned. Mostly because she doesn't know about the Guard-Breaking abilities of a Fan. She's also stunned because she's still being hit with the fan, again and again in a stunlock. Such is life.
Action 2:
The Second person flies over to the Actors. Focusing power through her spear, she opens up a cluster of microportals to the Elemental Planes of Life, Blood, Fire, and Ranch. Blood energy quickly coalesces into flesh, which is quickly seared by flame, saturated with life, and garnished with concentrated flavour. "What?" she says. "You've never seen someone cooking with portals before? Trust me, this is the best 'steak' you've ever tasted."
She smiles encouragingly. Do the actors take it? That's up to them. It does smell good....
Action 3:
The Third person Steals the Time from the atoms in the Air directly in front of him. This creates a solid plane of cover which he stands behind. He's just charging. He also has a rifle out now. That's something that might come in handy later.
Entity Orders:
All actors, please attack the Medibots! Fire Elementals, keep doing what you're doing! It's going great!
~~~~~~~~~~
3x Action:
I build a Vibranium Golem, with real Vibranium and a Positronic Brain! The Mind Elemental sees this potential host and quickly swoops in (I might have pushed it a little), only to find that it can't move.
Wait, what? Oh, silly me. I didn't build any joints or points of articulation into the Golem. It's just a man-shaped mass of Vibranium with an unwitting host.
Before the Mind Elemental can jump back out, I trade the Vibranium Golem, with the Elemental inside it, to the Transdimensional Safe.
You do so. The SAFE apparently decides that this fulfills the criteria of the third request. The SAFE spews out what appears to be a couple of drones, designed after cherries.
Cake Guys Cake- standard action 2 (apparently old-style):
He decides to go on a swashbuckling adventure. or something. Raise renown, ya know? also, get away from this messed up battlefield.
Yeah, sure.
Cake Guys Cake hops through universes until one trips his 'Interesting to write about but not going to cause a paradox with myself, probably' autosensors™ (ItWAbnGtCaPwMP sensors: Never leave home without'm!™) and drops into it. It's not too far from the fight, but fairly removed. And, while it takes a while (Wherein he saves thousands by helping some world leaders stop being idiots for a mere three minutes, stops all vehicle crashes for half an hour, cures three cancer patients, and...sigh... wins a bake-off), he figures out how this universe differs from the standard pre-apoc terra firma model that seems to show up bizarrely often:
Everyone has the same sense of humour.
Like, it's not that people Generally find the same kind of thing funny, or usually agree whether a joke is good or bad. No, Literally Everyone has the same sense of humour, with visible deviations constituting maybe a quarter of a percent of the population. Genetics, Nurture, and- as long as they understand the underlying context even vaguely- culture? They play no role. Thinking of a funny joke is like winning the lottery. And it makes you famous. Comedians are simultaneously revered for their universal appeal, and the hardest job in the world to succeed in. Oh, it used to be that you could be a good- on a local level- comedian just by being able to execute already well-known jokes which involve physical difficulties, but the rise of video put an end to that. Now being a Comedian requires a highly gifted mind and fast iteration time- or a large joke-research company backing you. It is whispered in dark corners of the world that the governments have all searched for their best jokes, and have them at the ready to distract enemy soldiers in wars.
Political parties still exist, for all an insult to either side amuses all members of the world. Advanced teams search for political jokes, which support their ideology. This is the best form of propaganda. Find a joke with inherent political implications, and fame and money are not your limit. you could lead a company- decide policy on the world scale, by releasing or refusing to do so.
Further investigation in between saving over half a million lives a minute reveals the why, though not quite the how.
This is a world where The (near-complete) Psychological Unity of Mankind was not one mans soon-to-be-discarded belief, but a clear truth; where every module of the brain was universal and set in stone. Including humour. Including the Details of humour.
At any rate, not feeling like trying to figure out how it happened, CG's C uses some simple probability manipulation souped up a few thousand times to find the best cake-advocating joke in the universe. Renown up! the fame probably helped too.
(Action 2 - Attacking)
The Loony stares at the open crate holding a variety of animal masks and just makes a sound of confusion. Having no idea what to do with the crate's content, he simply hoards it from the players as he's the one to obtain it and instead picks up his slingshot for some moon crashing action!
Pondering, he makes a note that he probably won't be using these mask anytime soon. In fact, he seems to take more interest at the crate itself rather than its content.
Placing a lid over the crate holding the animal mask, the Loony climbs on the relatively large crate, loads the slingshot with a moon chunk from the Mountain Dew soda cluster and jumps off it. In his time in the air, he quickly performs a 360 no scope hat trick front flip spin and fires the soda based moon chunk upwards and out of the orbit. A few seconds later, the moon chunk proceeds to fall from the atmosphere... at least 1000 times its previous size.
With the workings of the Lunar Slingshot returning the Mountain Dew moon chunk into a proper moon, it starts descending towards the battlefield. From the trajectory I've sent it in, taking account of the physics and different gravitational fields, it's more than likely to strike the Mercenary squads. That not if the MLG horns, which were generated from its reputation as a meme, don't bleed their ears off.
(Action 3 - Fulfilling request)
Noticing the request for MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK, the Moon Guy/Loony/guy with Moon Slingshot/Guy with MILK, talks into a walkie talkie he got from somewhere, and a pod holding a compact MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK factory heads towards the SAFE. Upon reaching a good 100m from the target, the pod explodes to reveal the MIIIIIIIIIIIIILK factory, not compacted, and somehow get into the SAFE to fulfill the request.
Actually, if you include the BIG BALL OF CHARGE, you have 5 CP.
You fire the Lunar Slingshot. The second the Moon Chunk expands, though, you realize your mistake. A whole moon is a massive object to sling at a small battlefield. Using the Lunar Slingshot, you realize, results in massive damage to the battlefield as a whole. You've made a terrible mistake.
Fortunately, Thanos interrupts by Timestopping The Apocalypse Moon.
The Airhorns still do 10,000 damage to each of the merc squads.
The SAFE closes, accepting your offering. You are in turn provided with a Quiver of Lightningbolts. Metal.
Neo turns to Kit really quickly. "No, we started with him having power and space. We have managed to swap which he had. Not the best, but we did something."
Focused
Neo then looks at Thanos, and he smirks. Suddenly, as Thanos has just the time to think, 'What is it this time?', he feels gravity's pull much more sideways than usually. He gets suddenly whisked away sideways, and therefore gets to feel that delicious flame from the blue fire surrounding him. If he risked moving enough to look at himself, he would see he is glowing a deeper blue than the field surrounding him. He then gets flung around swiftly, being launched this way and that by the gravitational energy. This time, he appears to have learned from Neo's last attack, and is shielding the Gauntlet. He gets flung upwards, and then more upwards, before being dragged down, and even further downwards. He flies to the left, then the right, then left again, then right again. Then, Neo stops flinging him around, and shoots a bomb at him. Then he blasts him with a laser that does exactly as much as the bomb. Then, Neo opens up some type of mental pause menu, before letting Thanos's head get buried a few feet under ground. (For the record: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B (bomb), A (laser Attack) start (mental pause menu), then he just shoved him into the ground.)
Charged : ( 1 CP )
Scene 1 (this is gonna be in the movie, right?) - The alien takes a second to reminisce about how many actions were just wasted by trying to attack the !!BLUE!!. With that done, he taps the stealth button on his wrist controller.
"Now, it's time to play... Guess How He Fails!"
Duh duh duh duh, duh-duh. Duh duh duh duh, duh-duh. Duh duh duh-duhduh duh-duhduh duh-duhduh duh duh duh, duh-duh.
"Today's contestants are Sally Sure, Richard Right, and Carl Correct. I'm sure this'll be fun. Today's question is, as it always is, how will he fail? The scenario: Space. A small war has started between Thanos and a group of reality warpers. One of them is attempting to sneak around using the stealth button on his seemingly faulty wrist controller. You'll each get thirty seconds to write your answers. Begin."
Doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo doo! DOO-DOo-Doo-doo-doo Doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo. Doo, doo doo doo, doo, doo, doo. Duh duh duh!
"Time's up. Let's start with Sally. What do you have?" "I put that his button won't work at all."
"Okay, let's see if she's right." Err Err. "Oop, sorry. That's incorrect. Next up, we have Richard. What did you put?" "I said that the button will only make the wrist controller undetectable."
"Interesting. Let's see if that's right." Err Err. "Aw, sorry Richard, that's wrong. Lastly we have Carl. What was your answer?" "I had that it would disintegrate him, which would be him disappearing."
"Ooh, I like that one. Is he right?" Err Err. "Sorry about that, but you're still wrong. The correct answer is 'The button will give him a stupid old lady disguise.' That's our show. We'll see you tomorrow."
[Insert Credits]
Fortunately for the Blue Brigadier, Proxima Midnight is too busy watching this amazing show to pay attention to him as he sneaks past in an old lady outfit.
Scene 2 - Now that the Blue Brigadier has snuck past the bodyguard, he feels perfectly fine taking off the costume. He keeps the wig though. It's fashionable. He looks at the !!BLUE!! in disgust. "Alright Thanos, I guess everyone, including me, is too stupid to remember the weakness of the !!BLUE!!. Hmm... Stupid?... That's it! I remember! The flaming blue heart of the whatever it's called is only weak to one thing. Orange Sherbet. "Why?" you may ask. Well, it's the exact opposite of a giant blue slime monster/dictator. No one ever gets too large of servings of orange sherbet, it's cold, not warm, it's more solid than it is liquid, as opposed to slime, which is more liquid than solid, it's nice and friendly instead of a monster/dictator, and its orange! I even have my orange sherbet button ready." With that "explained," the alien presses his orange sherbet button and fires it at Thanos, quenching the fire of the !!BLUE!!.
Scene 3 - Now, with Thanos totally and utterly able to be hit maybe probably no one knows, the Blue Brigadier looks at a set of five buttons, each one acting as the corner of a pentagonal shape. He presses the bottom left button twice, then the bottom right, followed by a combo of the middle left and right, middle left and right, then finished with a top and middle right. The Blue Brigadier enters some sort of action pose, ready to fight. Then, out of nowhere, his left foot kicks at Thanos's foot twice, causing him to suffer slight balance issues. His right foot then swings around and slams hard into Thanos's side. Before he can recover, the brigadier unleashes a rapid jab combo with his left and right hands. Finally, he jumps up, slams his head into Thanos's, lands, but then immediately jumps back up with an uppercut, hitting Thanos square in the jaw. The blue alien steps back and immediately is stuck doing heavy breathing. "I forgot *breathe* how much *breathe* it hurts *breathe* to use the command *breathe* exoskeleton." He drops down to the ground. "Glad that's over."
Everything goes according to plan... except that that's the wrong shade of blue. Because of this, your orange is the wrong shade of orange to cancel out the !!BLUE!! fully. Thanos is left with a tiny bit of blue, which protects him from your attack. Alas, it fades shortly after a bit of dirt and blood mucks it up. Either way, good job knocking out Thanos' defenses.
Thanos re-invokes the soul of Corvus Glaive. The Corvus Mech will spawn even more Corvus Glaives now!
He then waves his hand. A few Extras are Mind Controlled. Because they aren't main characters, this is solved by the rest of the extras murdering them. Their losses aren't felt very much.
Next, he uses control over reality to transform Dropop's hands into explosions. 10 damage, and Space Gem dropped.
He picks up the Space Gem with a solemn lack of flare.
He uses it fold the Moon in on itself via higher dimensional space. Its compressed form is much more massive, but also much more focused. Whoever it hits is going to regret not having enough defenses...
The mercenaries all shoot at the Extras, doing a total of 40,000 damage to them. Squad A then activates their Flame Throwers. A bunch of Ice Elementals go down to the intense heat. Squad C activates their Tesla Canon, chain-lightningifying the Extras.
Proxima Midnight, realizing where that giant robot is aiming, decides to go out with a bang. She shoots CGC for 10 damage.
Medibot Squad A heals the mercs for 10,000 hp each.
Medibot squad B heal Thanos for 10,000 hp each.
The SAFE spits out no more requests. That doesn't mean that you can't make your own, though.
"Will trade two sheep for three wood. Good trade."
Feel free to attempt to answer the last request if you don't have one of your own.
The Game Master appears to leer eerily at True Neo, despite the mask it has instead of a face having a seemingly serene expression. Its thick, silver hair flows in an unnatural manner, falling not straight down; instead, it falls in various directions. Its arms... wings? You can't really tell which. You can't tell how many there are either. All you know is that the way that it is holding them outwards is hypnotizing.
...You get the feeling that you're going to have a hard time scanning this thing. Or interacting with it at all, actually.
CGC throws some money around. Unfortunately, lots is lost because of the state of the economy (Thanos growls in philosophical here), but it all works out in the end.
The Corvus Mech spews out three Corvus Glaives, who begin bodyguarding Thanos. It then uses twin Glaive Strikes to murderize Proxima Midnight. Again. Again.
The Fire Elementals struggle against their captor, but are powerless to escape.
The A-list Actors and B-list Actors weren't ordered this round, and so bake in the Cakery.
The Lab sits around, not being manned or having been ordered to scan things.
Pweron Dum appears to not notice The Game Master, despite it slowly turning its head to face them.
"Okay guys. You have a bunch of options open to you. Start using them. Artifacts? Use them before they get stolen. The Lab? start sticking entities in there to speed up its science. Also, scan scan scan!
Besides that, don't be caught by the Moon."
The F[!!!]ing Moon. Compressed into a small sphere of doom. Currently Time Stopped.
[PT-BOSS] Thanos. 68,000/500,000 Hp. 12 AC. Vulnerable to ideological attacks. [A] Damaged Infinity Gauntlet. Allows Equipping of Multiple Infinity Gems. Gems have (removed percentage/10) chance of slipping out. -10,000 attack. Being heated by the captured Fire Elementals. [A] Reality Gem. Allows control over Reality. [A] Mind Gem. Allows control over Mind. [A] Time Gem. Allows control over Time. [A] Space Gem. Allows control over Space. [A] Soul Gem. Simulating an afterlife. Houses a copy of Flaming Mageye, Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. [PT] Corvus Glaive Hoard. 150,000/150,000 Hp. Bodyguarding Thanos. x3 [N] Medibot squad A. 40,000/40,000 Hp, 10R. Healing Mercenary squads. x3 [N] Medibot squad B. 40,000/40,000 Hp, 10R. Healing Thanos. x5 [N] Mercenary Squad A. 15,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Flame Throwers: 0/3. (Slagged) [N] Mercenary Squad B. 15,000/30,000 Hp. (Slagged) [N] Mercenary Squad C. 15,000/30,000 Hp. [A] Tesla Canon: 0/3. (Slagged) [Incoming support]
Attack with two.
RPG Arm: 3/3. Ignores dodge. The G is for Glaive.
Spinning Glaive Arm: -10% Accuracy. Shreds AC. More effective with consecutive use.
Glaive Arm: Can be used to defend or attack.
Splinter Glaive: 3/10. Massive damage to one entity, while splinters affect all enemies.
[PC-BOSS-Pastry Paladin] The Cake 250,000/250,000 HP. Knight of Kake: 3/6. To me, confectionarians: 3/8. Renown: [10]. Kingdom size: [4]. Rules over cakes. Frostbrew Icing applied. Cool.
Knight of Kake: Should the target accept, they are given the [KoK] buff until they stop obeying the Cake or die. Renown: Rises as tales of valor and flavor are spread across the Void. Kingdom size: Equal to number of [KoK]. At 10, The Cake is invulnerable to attack. To me, Confectionarians!: Summon a variety of loyal Cakes equal to Renown spent. All have the [KoK] buff. Rules over cakes: The Cake has semi-elemental control over cakes. also, it's a great cake. kinda like a gem, but not really, and weaker.
[AT-Pastry Paladin] Ice Elementals. 30,000/30,000 Hp. [KoK]. x3 [AT-Pastry Paladin] Cake Guy's Cake. 10/20 Hp. Basically just a player. [KoK]. [A] Priceytag. Cash Money: [$9,161]. Distractingly shiny (and has a tendency to scream a lot). Minor control over Code.
[AT-Pastry Paladin-BOSS] Megacorp Cakery. 500,000/500,000 Hp. Cake: 4/10. [AT-Pastry Paladin] Dwarf Reality Elemental. 3,000/3,000 Hp. Supporting Cake I guess?. [AT] A-list Actors. 122,000/200,000 Hp. 10 AC. (Can bake) [AT] B-list Actors. 170,000/250,000 Hp. (Can bake) [AT-Dropop] Extras. 162,000/400,000 Hp. -10 AC. x 2. (Can bake) [AT-Elite-Dropop] Laboratory. 500,000/500,000 Hp. 10 AC. Science: 3/10, Faster when manned. Free Scan: Ready. [Lab] Snowflake Canon. 60,000/60,000 Hp. Special Snowflakes: 3/3. READY! [AT-REDACTED] Dwarf Fire Elementals. 3,000/3,000 Hp. x4. Captured in Thanos' Gauntlet. [AT-REDACTED] Cherry Bombs. 1/1 Hp. No target. x5 [AT] Dropop. 10/20 Hp. Not actually vulnerable. [AT] True Neo. 20/20 Hp. [A] Power Finger. Choose which finger to equip it to. [AT] Heaven's Guardian. 0/20 Hp. [AT] Loony. 20/20 Hp. [A] Lunar Slingshot. Moonchunks: [2]. [A] Quiver of Lightning Bolts: 5/5. [A] Crate of... Animal Masks? [AT] Blue Brigadier. 20/20 Hp. [A] Acidic Spray: 2/3. [AT] Kitsugare. 20/20 Hp. [A] The Florentine. Electric damage. +50% damage, applies Slagged. Ammo: 7/10. [AT] Dragon of Hope. 20/20 Hp. [A-Part]<==|
Thanos Skeledop
How To Play:
Thanos is seeking the Infinity Gems. He has all of them on this battlefield, and there's no getting away from them. You are the only people between him and his goals.
Keep the Infinity Gems from Thanos. They will be strong, but you'll have to use them wisely.
Thanos has multiple actions. Six in total. This means that given the chance, he will use multiple gems each round.
Players can only hold one Infinity Gem at a time. They are also only able to be used once per round.
You're also dealing with the Black Order. They each have their little gimmicks, but Thanos is the main threat.
Beware of his durability. 15 AC means you're losing 15,000 damage on your attacks, and entities are losing 75,000 damage on theirs every time they hit him.
Disarming Thanos of the Infinity Gauntlet is impossible. However, the gems can be pried off. Doing so is difficult, but doable.
Three actions. 20,000-30,000 action power.
You cannot take the Infinity Gems out the current battlefield. If you want an in-battle reason, it's that Thanos has messed with Space so that you're all stuck there with him. As a result, you have to make it so that he's stuck there with you.
You may attempt to justify respawn time being shorter using an Infinity Gem action. Because otherwise this'd be a pain.
Ask the NON SELF INSERT OF THE ARBITER for advice.
1 CP
Lab: Scan The Cake, find out what's new!
BONUS: scan Megacorp.
Cake Guy [1] "OE NOES! MY GUD FRINDE And pastry THE CAKE OF MINE is ingurededededeDIFIED! I MOST HEL DEPM! they are LOVAL CAEK SUBGECT LIK MEH! WER ENDANGER SPECES!" IM AM QUCK! I get mush cake and make it gouda cake! the cheesecake is so good, it cheeses mny gufriendedEIDIEDNIEXD BACKS TO FUL HELTSH
[0 JOE] "Oh by the way CAKEIOCKAKAKEIOPEKOIEK! Actions have changed to 3/R somehow!"
Cake Guy [1] I AM NOD AT MY FRINEStop Narrating. BUT AM SUCH No, you're actually terrible at it. Trust me, this is better for everyone. besides, it's the least I can do. AWwWWW... Oki...Aherm. Cake guy acknowledges his Cakes advice, then turns to look at Thanos. Seeing the lack of BLUE on Thanos, he quickly picks up a cake from the bakery. Having Equipped his weapon of choice, he turns towards Thanos and... offers him the WHY. NO. Why. U SAID U NARAT GUD! let meh do ME SHTUFFF. ...Fine. He offers Thanos the... 'newest in cake technology: The Crunchy Frog Cake'. Thanos somehow knows the Crunchy Frog Cake is exactly what it says it is, and eats it. Soon after, Cake Man informs him the Crunchy Frog Cake was made with 100% Authentic, organic frog bones, only the finest of frogs, fed on non-gmo wheat, and seasoned with an exquisite blend of sugar and honey.
Thanos is more then strong-willed enough to avoid vomitting, but then he realizes he's not a human, which means there's no reason for human foods to be digestible to him,and vomits anyway. As Thanos is distracted, Cake Guy... what. ok, he changes into morphCookie form, lays a pastrybomb, and uses the explosion to execute a cookiesprinkle into the Infinity Gauntlet. On impact, for an instant reality is confused by the speeds involved, resulting in Cake Guy being inside one of the Gems- specifically, the reality gem. Due to the unique propertys of the ...cookiesprinkle variant of the shinesprinkle... it can destroy things that cannot otherwise be destroyed. Specifically, apple Crumble blocks are known to be uniquely destroyable by cookiesprinkles. This type of block is special in several ways, but the most notable is it is otherwise only destroyable from a specific direction.
Now, obviously the Reality Gem isn't an apple crumble block. but the gauntlet its held in is Crumbling... and since the only way to destroy crumbling things is with a cookiesprinkle... the Socket the Gem is in begins to crumble further.
Cake Guy [1] Now, Cake Guy is still glitched Inside the Gem, and since Gem use is generally requires contact and the method by which Thanos achieved contact is crumbling, They get control of the Reality Gem. With its powers, they channel untold amounts of reality into... into... for petes sake. I can see why but... come On.
...Into converting the 'Reality' element in this vicinity... into a 'Cake' element.
...Reality is now cakes on a fundamental level. Just like the cakes original statline said.
{CJOEbob action one.}
Priceytag still has money, huh? I set up some code to, once the next action and this one are done, transfer all remaining Priceytag money (back?) to Pweron Dum's credit card.
At Any Rate,I see we have a lot of bosses. Now, it won't be long before the Cake's invincible, but the megacorp kinda stops that from Fixing the problem. But Bismark had a plan. Bismark, Always, Had a Plan.
Anyway, Bismark isn't exactly relevent. back to logical statements.
After some thought, I've determined there is one thing that really needs buying.
Do you know what it is?
It's very simple.
Godmodder Fuel.
You see, there's a type of thing- void crystals or something- which Pionoplayer once confirmed were super valuable. I saw something that could be them, and asked piono if I could trade them to get Godmodder Fuel.
Piono said yes, if i found them (I didn't).
This confirms the possibility of Buying Godmodder Fuel.
So I do. Half my budget for this, I spend on Fuel on the standard market. The Other half goes in the Safe with the note 'Godmodder fuel. will give LOTS OF MONEY. AS IN LOTS. money acts as charge points in certain time periods.'
[0] but tog, you said earlier:
|||||||, the Arbiter03/24/2019 EOJian matter is a newly formed Element designed specifically to counter JOE in case of them becoming too powerful. It has a chemical tendency to disrupt long posts, poor balancing and jargon.
(...)
|||||||, the Arbiter03/24/2019 Despite being exceedingly rare and practically useless, the EOJian rise to Elementhood has been supported by the Council as a failsafe in case of JOE ever unlocking their true potential.
This proves elementhood is decidable and changeable!...unless it was shiptoast.
FOCUS + 3/30 -> 0/30: Despara pulls out an extended Gae Bolg and stabs Thanos right through every single one of their bodyguards, zigzagging through all the hoards' hearts and leaving plenty of space to shank Thanos on the end. The legendary Corvus Glaive Shish Kebab is then used as one of those confusing anime aircannons and a bat to hit Thanos with all the collected bodyguards. There's no way they can jump in the way of being the ammo and crushing Thanos under the pile while they're impaled right through their vital organs and central bodies for maximum pole-smashing impact like some kind of freaky bodyguard-covered abacus, so Thanos will have to do something to stop that!
Also, Despara issues a standing (read: remains in force every turn) order to the Actors to, if not given any other orders, attack whoever's bodyguarding Thanos, or if there are no bodyguards in the way, attack Thanos. Seriously, the autoattack AI in this game needs to be fixed...
[JOEbob actiontwo]
having obtained Godmodder Fuel (and probably, as a result of spending so much money on such a strange set of purchases so quickly, becoming more talked-about), I take the next step of my newly-formed plan.
You see, I have insider information on reality. I charter a mental protection shield of immense scale,an energy drill, and a voidship. Quickly, I reach a very special universe. A Forgotten world. Well. Forgotten for now, at least.
I fly to the universe of Renewal and pierce a hole in the shield. Oh, I'd love to set things in my favour, but it's already happened. If I set things in my favour before the time i've seen, it's a waste of resources, from my perspective. So I won't. But I do go. For... well, two reasons.
One. This planet is home to untold masses of lost technology and magic. The C Mech Omega is just one example. Again, I can't take anything... well, unless it comes after the Chasm.
And one thing that never showed up before the Chasm...? Godmodder Chambers. Which I very strongly suspect existed- or will? time's weird- here. So I scour the world for one.
When I return, a special waypoint placed, the defences of the world re-established, money spent, voidship destroyed (No Traces!), and -given the urgency of my spending and the level of the shield likely there-a thousand or several dollars lighter,I return with a Godmodder Chamber stored securely in my inventory.
Cake Orders: If 2+ Godmodder fuel is available, The Cake recieves one. (Cake Guy will Not be given Godmodder fuel. The mental defences inherent would leave me unable to control him.)
Actors+extras- work in the bakery. do it.
Bakery- Note you have an attachement for the lab if that helps anything, and make cakes.
Ice elementals help the Cake somehow.
The Cake uses its action to convert the bakery cakes into entities. preferably ones with Bodyguard capabilities, but really it's not picky. Cake is Cake!
Reality Elemental does whatever it wants but helps cake forces somehow.
