"Wow," I type in the chat client. "This just turned into a legal minefield."

I proceed to scratch my head wondering why I just lost an Action when suddenly Doug Dimmadome blows up after stepping on an errant paragraph about legal fees!

-Achievement unlocked: Punny Guy. Lost one Action to make the Pun real.-

I smack my forehead. Welp. At least that put of that one Simumodder ally through the wringer.

But then I realize that this is the second time that using the chat client worked in my favor. I wondered...

"I move foreward."

That did not happen.

"I proceed to yodel."

Still nothing.

"Fartknocker."

Nada.

In frustration I keyslam the chat client. I proceed to promptly lose an Action as the Godmodder is hit out of nowhere by "ijosrfjhavhioasfkhjddf;hsaho" shaped like a house key.

-Achievement Unlocked: Mamma Slamma Jamma. Lost one Action for punnery,-

I groan and proceed to lean back in my chair. I chalked the chat client up as a lost cause to doing anything except unlocking achievements And communicate with others.

So how would I move!? Or do anything for that matter.

That's when I realized 2 things. One - I have a laptop. Two - minecraft for phone/tablets is a thing, so maybe they have the base movement controls in common?

I proceed to look up the minecraft controls and compare them to Simumodder's. Sure enough, they had the same base control scheme! I just couldn't see it underneath all of these strange other controls, such as 'perceptual restructuring' or 'Toggle Toon Force'.

So I began trying to minimize or disable the extra controls so that I could focus on the base gameplay. However, the screen is so freaking crowded by these semi-transparent commands that my thumb accidentally hit one of them.

'Eject nonstandard Commands (Costs 1 Action)'

True to its name, every single command and control option that wasn't from base Minecraft flew from my character at rapid speeds, hitting the Simumodder and causing him to spasm in a flurry of highly specific and often contradictory commands.

On the plus side, this seemed to effectively stun him - or randomize his next action, I couldn't tell quite yet. On the downside, I had to deal with what looked like utter, high tier, superhumanly flexible nonsense with the bare minimum basic controls of minecraft.

It was this moment that I knew...

I fucked up.

------

Meanwhile my cash continues to grow. DIO, in a desperate effort to control SOMETHING, tries to hijack Doug Dimmadome with his mind control.

(x1)I eat a blubber nugget, causing Doug Dimadome, Owner of the Dimsdale Dimadome to lose a charge.


(x2)I suplex Doug Dimadome, Owner of the Dimsdale Dimadome into the Diamadome Dimension where he will find so much people like him he wouldn’t want to leave, hopefully.

Action 1: I do every successful Godmodder attack from Testrun, a single time. Then while the Simumodder's distracted watching it all happen again I hit him with a stick.

Action 2: Using the power of physics problems, I surround the Simumodder in a frictionless vacuum. The lack of friction causes mu to equal 0, leaving behind the Simmodder. This is standard DTG fare for me, so it's not odd, leaving behind the Simmer. The Simmer is left on low heat for a while until all the water has evaporated, causing the fish people to leave the area, removing the mer and leaving behind just the Sim. Finally, I remove my phone's SIM card, and now there's nothing left of him at all.

Action 3: I charge 1 CP.

CP: 3.

I use grapple powers to hook the remaining blubbernugget at the end of a chain, despite it's soap powers↵
↵
Buddy you couldve made more profit. now youre gonna dimmadie

I wield the capitalist inpired deep fried pierced snack as a massive flail at douge dimmadome owner of the dimsdale dimmadome. Unless hes gone of course, which then i attack the simumodder.
↵
Charge +2 ↵
total charges: 6

[1x] I conjure an inbox. I then make all the e-mails littering the floor jump in box, so I now have a box full of emails.

[2x] I take all the legal actions these emails are threatening and insert spaces, making a bunch of Act Ions. I then spray Alastair with these Act Ions, giving him more ways to act. This unfortunately clutters up his screen again, but hopefully the Organize Commands button is at the forefront.

+2 CP (5/5)

As I finish the charge, a strange portal from another dimension opens up, and with a loud CLUNK!, a stall which looks like a heavily upgraded apple stand appears in the middle of nowhere. A sign on it reads "THE SHOPKEEPER 2.0".

I quickly scribble a bit more, though, and now it reads "THE SHOPKEEPER 2.0.1. With the coloring. I forgot to bring black.

Since this game is most likely going to be shorter than CTG, I'm just going to award credits to people when I think they do something that merits them. The only 2 set ways are if you really want to donate a charge, or if you manage to deal damage to the Simumodder.

With that done, I decide to start work on another charge.
+1CP (1/3 for Getting an Upgrade!)

+3 CP to my account, bringing the total to 6.
... God, it's strange charging up when you're an Arbiter.

Sorry about the month-long wait guys, I've been struggling lately, but I'm finally starting to pick up a little bit in the 'ability to motivate myself' department, so hopefully updates will be back underway consistently.

QUOTE (Karpinsky @ Feb 10 2020, 05:30 PM)

+3 CP

You charge

QUOTE (Alistair Dragovich @ Feb 10 2020, 06:31 PM)

"Wow," I type in the chat client. "This just turned into a legal minefield." I proceed to scratch my head wondering why I just lost an Action when suddenly Doug Dimmadome blows up after stepping on an errant paragraph about legal fees!  -Achievement unlocked: Punny Guy. Lost one Action to make the Pun real.- I smack my forehead. Welp. At least that put of that one Simumodder ally through the wringer. But then I realize that this is the second time that using the chat client worked in my favor. I wondered... "I move foreward." That did not happen. "I proceed to yodel." Still nothing. "Fartknocker." Nada. In frustration I keyslam the chat client. I proceed to promptly lose an Action as the Godmodder is hit out of nowhere by "ijosrfjhavhioasfkhjddf;hsaho" shaped like a house key. -Achievement Unlocked: Mamma Slamma Jamma. Lost one Action for punnery,- I groan and proceed to lean back in my chair. I chalked the chat client up as a lost cause to doing anything except unlocking achievements And communicate with others. So how would I move!? Or do anything for that matter. That's when I realized 2 things. One - I have a laptop. Two - minecraft for phone/tablets is a thing, so maybe they have the base movement controls in common? I proceed to look up the minecraft controls and compare them to Simumodder's.  Sure enough, they had the same base control scheme!  I just couldn't see it underneath all of these strange other controls, such as 'perceptual restructuring' or 'Toggle Toon Force'. So I began trying to minimize or disable the extra controls so that I could focus on the base gameplay.  However, the screen is so freaking crowded by these semi-transparent commands that my thumb accidentally hit one of them. 'Eject nonstandard Commands (Costs 1 Action)' True to its name, every single command and control option that wasn't from base Minecraft flew from my character at rapid speeds, hitting the Simumodder and causing him to spasm in a flurry of highly specific and often contradictory commands. On the plus side, this seemed to effectively stun him - or randomize his next action, I couldn't tell quite yet.  On the downside, I had to deal with what looked like utter, high tier, superhumanly flexible nonsense with the bare minimum basic controls of minecraft. It was this moment that I knew... I fucked up. ------ Meanwhile my cash continues to grow. DIO, in a desperate effort to control SOMETHING, tries to hijack Doug Dimmadome with his mind control.

Doug Dimmadome explodes violently for 8000 damage!

The Simumodder watches with amusement as you kill a stray godmodder with your keyslamming attack. Whoops, watch your targeting.

The Simumodder is barraged by commands, command after command after command after command sticking to him and causing him to spaz out. He's totally untrackable with all this nonsense movement!

DIO ordered.

QUOTE (Paradoxdragonpaci @ Feb 10 2020, 08:38 PM)

(x1)I eat a blubber nugget, causing Doug Dimadome, Owner of the Dimsdale Dimadome to lose a charge. (x2)I suplex Doug Dimadome, Owner of the Dimsdale Dimadome into the Diamadome Dimension where he will find so much people like him he wouldn’t want to leave, hopefully.

minus 1 charge, which is rendered pointless when Doug Dimadome finds himself suplexed into an alternate dimension.
He hates having so much entreprenurial competition, but it's too late for him, doug dimadome does not possess interdimensinoal travel and cannot return.

QUOTE (Splashcat @ Feb 13 2020, 11:59 PM)

Action 1: I do every successful Godmodder attack from Testrun, a single time. Then while the Simumodder's distracted watching it all happen again I hit him with a stick. Action 2: Using the power of physics problems, I surround the Simumodder in a frictionless vacuum. The lack of friction causes mu to equal 0, leaving behind the Simmodder. This is standard DTG fare for me, so it's not odd, leaving behind the Simmer. The Simmer is left on low heat for a while until all the water has evaporated, causing the fish people to leave the area, removing the mer and leaving behind just the Sim. Finally, I remove my phone's SIM card, and now there's nothing left of him at all. Action 3: I charge 1 CP. CP: 3.

The Simumodder is sufficiently distracted by the attacks and Alastair's earlier control screw that the stick pokes his eye out. 1 damage!

The Simumodder, er, simmer, er.
...he's gone.
That can't be good.

QUOTE (coolestardude @ Feb 15 2020, 08:56 PM)

I use grapple powers to hook the remaining blubbernugget at the end of a chain, despite it's soap powers↵ ↵ Buddy you couldve made more profit. now youre gonna dimmadie    I wield the capitalist inpired deep fried pierced snack as a massive flail at douge dimmadome owner of the dimsdale dimmadome. Unless hes gone of course, which then i attack the simumodder.  ↵ Charge +2 ↵ total charges: 6

That pun would've been the perfect thing to end off doug's life with, so much so that in the alternate reality he's found himself trapped in, he has a heart attack and dies instantly anyways despite not being in range.

QUOTE (King_Fuffy @ Feb 20 2020, 01:30 PM)

[1x] I conjure an inbox. I then make all the e-mails littering the floor jump in box, so I now have a box full of emails. [2x] I take all the legal actions these emails are threatening and insert spaces, making a bunch of Act Ions. I then spray Alastair with these Act Ions, giving him more ways to act. This unfortunately clutters up his screen again, but hopefully the Organize Commands button is at the forefront.

You boost Alastair's next action!

QUOTE (SirNatureWriter @ Feb 21 2020, 07:50 AM)

+2 CP (5/5) As I finish the charge, a strange portal from another dimension opens up, and with a loud CLUNK!, a stall which looks like a heavily upgraded apple stand appears in the middle of nowhere. A sign on it reads "THE SHOPKEEPER 2.0". I quickly scribble a bit more, though, and now it reads "THE SHOPKEEPER 2.0.1. With the coloring. I forgot to bring black. Since this game is most likely going to be shorter than CTG, I'm just going to award credits to people when I think they do something that merits them. The only 2 set ways are if you really want to donate a charge, or if you manage to deal damage to the Simumodder. With that done, I decide to start work on another charge. +1CP (1/3 for Getting an Upgrade!)

GASP! You're stealing my schtick! How could you?
Alas, I am but a lonely game master I have no lawyer with which to sue.
Take your filthy apple cart.
Wait, uh... what sort of stats do you want it to have?
I gotta know what it looks like.

QUOTE (Torix @ Feb 24 2020, 10:47 AM)

+3 CP to my account, bringing the total to 6. ... God, it's strange charging up when you're an Arbiter.

Ahhhh the wonders of mixed canons.


EoTB:
DIO and GERALD look around.
The Simumodder is gone. He disappeared after splash's attack.
He's probably going to do something screwy when he returns, but until then they don't really have much they can do.


Itinerary:
Destroy the Simumodder

Simumodder [GM]: HP: 23/25. Actually gone.
GERALD [AG]: HP: 12,500/12,500. ATK: 2,500
DIO [AG]: HP: 10,000/10,000. ATK: mind control

+3 CP

1x action: Since the Simumodder seems to be gone but is CLEARLY listed in the dop, "Actually gone" must be a status effect! And as we know, all Godmodders, including Simumodders, are immune to status effects! Part of the job description; if you could stunlock them or DoT them or whatever, they wouldn't be that hard.

Therefore, since the Simumodder is actually present, I hit the Simumodder over the head with every copy of the book series Gone (which is like this young adult thing about these kids trapped in a dome and they get superpowers and shit gets dark, man, I don't like thinking about it). Then I build a massive mountain out of the Gone books, which I then set on fire. With the Simumodder inside it.

2x action: I charge +2 CP

(x2)Charge Beta

(x1)Clearly the real reason why the Simumodder is gone is because he is right beneath our noses. I then remove him from under my nose. That’s disturbing, please don’t do that. I then shine a Flashlight on him, and spray him with Dazzling:tm: powder Spray. With Cinnamon extract.

I blink. All the extraneous commands are back. And there's an Organize Commands Button at the forfront. I mash that and in an instant...

The commands blot out my screen. However, they're all neatly arranged so that all of the commands fit together and don't overlap this time! Which means I can actually take the time to look through them and find something useful.

Like the 'Translucent Commands' option! I click that and now I can see the screen! Well, sort of. It's now in permanent greyscale because the commands, for some reason, are grey colored. But honestly, this is a win.

And the Simumodder is gone. I blink. They're gone, right when I finally get a chance to play this mod properly.

With a sigh, I look at the controls a little longer. Well, there's a small field labeled 'General Entity Commands' and a button that says 'summoning system'. I look around again.

Still gone. And what the heck, I might as well give the entity summoning system a whirl. Maybe the customization would be something I could do to relax.

When I pressed the button, the screen was blotted out again as I was given a truly insane amount of options for customization. Overwhelmed, I found a 'simplified mode' checkmark and hit it.

With that, there was just a list of generic monsters, how many Actions I was going to invest, and what stats to prioritize. I scrolled through until I hit the word Zombie. Well, before then I saw the word Vampire, so that reminded me of DIO. And the Zombie is an accurate descriptor of the more mindless minions of DIO.

So I hit Zombie and decided to invest an action and went with standard. Because why not?

However, that still left me with a whole lotta nothing to do. I wasn't sure if I wanted to give the game the satisfaction of me giving it a fair shake, but now I had a Zombie and DIO on my side. In the end, I found that I could set their attacks to 'ambush tactics'. Now when the Simumodder showed up, they'd ambush him.

And that didn't cost an Action, oddly enough. So I had 2 left.

I decided to use an Action to exit the app and check my bank account- HOLY MACARONI. I was so flabbergasted that the timer ran out and I had to use another one to double check.

Apparently a famous Youtuber was livestreaming my game. And the game was going viral. At least right now, I was selling about 50 copies a (turn), earning me about...

Well, since it was pure profit now, about $500 a (turn)!

I let out a whistle. What the heck was I going to do with this money?

====================================================================

Action 1:

Summon Zombie (Standard Health layout)

Actions 2+3:

Set up continuous cash flow of $500 a turn.

Entity Orders:

DIO + Zombie - Get set up to ambush the Simumodder.

[ENTITY] Gerald will ambush the Simumodder along with DIO and the Zombie.

+3 CP

Stealing? Perhaps, but I see imitation as a great form of flattery. After all, a game without a shopkeeper is... well... a game without a shopkeeper?

Anyways, I suppose the apple cart has a pretty decent amount of HP and some mobility assuming I move it, but other than that it's not really that special, it just acts as a place for me to charge the entities. So essentially a meatshield. Except it's a cart with a ton of apples.

Speaking of apples, I finish my charge off (x2 actions)! I then eat one of the apples, because why not?

Finishing a charge summons a dwarven miner! With a stone pickaxe, because he got an upgrade from the wooden one. He can probably do some mining, but other than that he's just a standard entity. Cost: 2 credits.

Speaking of credits, I get to award some now!
+1 credit to Alistair!
+1 credit to Splashcat!

Action 1: I lay an elaborate trap for when the Simumodder returns. Pressure plates, tripwires, laser detectors, motion sensors, sound detectors, heat detectors, detector jammer detectors, godmodding detectors, "something screwy" detectors, defective detector detectors, detectives, deflectors, those box things with bait in them and a stick propping them up, pit traps, dark pit traps, spit traps (ew), rolling boulders, rolling saving throws, fire-breathing statues, trap doors, trap windows, trap walls, trap floors, nightingale floors, mimics, fake mimics, real fake mimics, professional mimic imitators, a secret attack hidden in this wall of text, poison darts, poison dart frogs, Astolfo, collapsing ceilings, collapsing floors, collapsible popup windows of distracting ads, Admiral Ackbar calling random non-trap things traps, labyrinths, minotaurs, labyrinth guards who only pretend one of them has to tell the truth, David Bowie as the Goblin King, spikes, spiked spikes, spikes spiked with alcohol, bait, clickbait, bear traps, bears, bear taps (both hot and cold), bare traps, concealed traps, Mr. T's hit new album "T raps", and an entire Simu-modder scaled game of Mousetrap being played by gigantic mice.

Actions 2 and 3: I charge 2 CP. Whatever he pulls, I'll want to be well equipped to deal with it.

CP: 5

Credits: 1

QUOTE (That-Random-Guy @ Mar 11 2020, 06:52 PM)

+3 CP

chlurhg

QUOTE (Karpinsky @ Mar 11 2020, 07:48 PM)

1x action: Since the Simumodder seems to be gone but is CLEARLY listed in the dop, "Actually gone" must be a status effect! And as we know, all Godmodders, including Simumodders, are immune to status effects! Part of the job description; if you could stunlock them or DoT them or whatever, they wouldn't be that hard. Therefore, since the Simumodder is actually present, I hit the Simumodder over the head with every copy of the book series Gone (which is like this young adult thing about these kids trapped in a dome and they get superpowers and shit gets dark, man, I don't like thinking about it). Then I build a massive mountain out of the Gone books, which I then set on fire. With the Simumodder inside it. 2x action: I charge +2 CP

The Simumodder protests that Godmodders are only immune to debuffs, not buffs!
At which point you hit him over the head with a book and set him on fire because he just outed himself anyways. 1 damage

QUOTE (Paradoxdragonpaci @ Mar 11 2020, 09:32 PM)

(x2)Charge Beta (x1)Clearly the real reason why the Simumodder is gone is because he is right beneath our noses. I then remove him from under my nose. That’s disturbing, please don’t do that. I then shine a Flashlight on him, and spray him with Dazzling:tm: powder Spray. With Cinnamon extract.

The Simumodder gets out from under your nose, but takes your nose with him.

QUOTE (Alistair Dragovich @ Mar 11 2020, 09:43 PM)

I blink. All the extraneous commands are back. And there's an Organize Commands Button at the forfront. I mash that and in an instant... The commands blot out my screen. However, they're all neatly arranged so that all of the commands fit together and don't overlap this time! Which means I can actually take the time to look through them and find something useful. Like the 'Translucent Commands' option!  I click that and now I can see the screen!  Well, sort of.  It's now in permanent greyscale because the commands, for some reason, are grey colored. But honestly, this is a win. And the Simumodder is gone. I blink.  They're gone, right when I finally get a chance to play this mod properly. With a sigh, I look at the controls a little longer. Well, there's a small field labeled 'General Entity Commands' and a button that says 'summoning system'. I look around again. Still gone. And what the heck, I might as well give the entity summoning system a whirl. Maybe the customization would be something I could do to relax. When I pressed the button, the screen was blotted out again as I was given a truly insane amount of options for customization.  Overwhelmed, I found a 'simplified mode' checkmark and hit it. With that, there was just a list of generic monsters, how many Actions I was going to invest, and what stats to prioritize. I scrolled through until I hit the word Zombie. Well, before then I saw the word Vampire, so that reminded me of DIO.  And the Zombie is an accurate descriptor of the more mindless minions of DIO. So I hit Zombie and decided to invest an action and went with standard. Because why not? However, that still left me with a whole lotta nothing to do. I wasn't sure if I wanted to give the game the satisfaction of me giving it a fair shake, but now I had a Zombie and DIO on my side.  In the end, I found that I could set their attacks to 'ambush tactics'. Now when the Simumodder showed up, they'd ambush him. And that didn't cost an Action, oddly enough. So I had 2 left. I decided to use an Action to exit the app and check my bank account- HOLY MACARONI.  I was so flabbergasted that the timer ran out and I had to use another one to double check. Apparently a famous Youtuber was livestreaming my game. And the game was going viral. At least right now,  I was selling about 50 copies a (turn), earning me about... Well, since it was pure profit now, about $500 a (turn)!  I let out a whistle. What the heck was I going to do with this money? ==================================================================== Action 1: Summon Zombie (Standard Health layout) Actions 2+3: Set up continuous cash flow of $500 a turn. Entity Orders: DIO + Zombie - Get set up to ambush the Simumodder.

You instantly summon a zombie! The Simumodder decides that simple is best and offers it brains. Then splashes it with some chemical X for good measure, mutating it into a horrific monstrosity.

You then successfully establish your cash flow.

QUOTE (King_Fuffy @ Mar 12 2020, 05:58 AM)

[ENTITY] Gerald will ambush the Simumodder along with DIO and the Zombie. +3 CP

chlug

QUOTE (SirNatureWriter @ Mar 12 2020, 07:41 AM)

Stealing? Perhaps, but I see imitation as a great form of flattery. After all, a game without a shopkeeper is... well... a game without a shopkeeper? Anyways, I suppose the apple cart has a pretty decent amount of HP and some mobility assuming I move it, but other than that it's not really that special, it just acts as a place for me to charge the entities. So essentially a meatshield. Except it's a cart with a ton of apples. Speaking of apples, I finish my charge off (x2 actions)! I then eat one of the apples, because why not? Finishing a charge summons a dwarven miner! With a stone pickaxe, because he got an upgrade from the wooden one. He can probably do some mining, but other than that he's just a standard entity. Cost: 2 credits. Speaking of credits, I get to award some now! +1 credit to Alistair! +1 credit to Splashcat! CREDIT BANK Alistair: 1 credit Splashcat: 1 credit STORE Dwarven Miner: 2 points

Meatshield apple cart and standard Dwarven Miner summoned!

QUOTE (Splashcat @ Mar 12 2020, 10:31 AM)

Action 1: I lay an elaborate trap for when the Simumodder returns. Pressure plates, tripwires, laser detectors, motion sensors, sound detectors, heat detectors, detector jammer detectors, godmodding detectors, "something screwy" detectors, defective detector detectors, detectives, deflectors, those box things with bait in them and a stick propping them up, pit traps, dark pit traps, spit traps (ew), rolling boulders, rolling saving throws, fire-breathing statues, trap doors, trap windows, trap walls, trap floors, nightingale floors, mimics, fake mimics, real fake mimics, professional mimic imitators, a secret attack hidden in this wall of text, poison darts, poison dart frogs, Astolfo, collapsing ceilings, collapsing floors, collapsible popup windows of distracting ads, Admiral Ackbar calling random non-trap things traps, labyrinths, minotaurs, labyrinth guards who only pretend one of them has to tell the truth, David Bowie as the Goblin King, spikes, spiked spikes, spikes spiked with alcohol, bait, clickbait, bear traps, bears, bear taps (both hot and cold), bare traps, concealed traps, Mr. T's hit new album "T raps", and an entire Simu-modder scaled game of Mousetrap being played by gigantic mice. Actions 2 and 3: I charge 2 CP. Whatever he pulls, I'll want to be well equipped to deal with it. CP: 5 Credits: 1

The Simumodder watches you build the entire thing and then claps enthusiastically when you trip on a rock and fall into it, getting hit by everything including the secret hidden in the wall of text.

EoTB:
All of the AG entities jump out at the Simumodder, but he's gone again!
"HOW COULD YOU EXPECT TO AMBUSH ME..."
The SImumodder jumps out from behind a rock, looming ominously
"WHEN I AM ALREADY" and then a Goat falls on him.
Wait, it's not a goat. It's a gOat, very important difference there.
Anyways, the gOat appears to only be half-finished on account of karpinsky dragging the Simumodder back into the realms of existence before he was finished with his shenanigans, but don't be hasty, gOats are no slouch in combat, even when only half finished.


Itinerary:
Destroy the Simumodder
Destroy the gOat

Simumodder [GM]: HP: 22/25.
Mutant Zombie [PG]: HP: 50,000/50,000
gOat [PG]: HP: 5/10
Apple Cart [N]: HP: 37,500/37,500. No ATK
Dwarven Miner [N]: HP: 7,500/7,500. ATK: 1,500
GERALD [AG]: HP: 12,500/12,500. ATK: 2,500
DIO [AG]: HP: 10,000/10,000. ATK: mind control

+3 CP

I blink as, without any prompting, DIO immediately begins to mind control the Zombie, because apparently that's what DIOs do.

I also take a moment and type "Thanks, @SirNatureWriter!"

With the pleasantries out of the way... time to get to work. Mostly it's trying to figure out how to do these obscenely complicated attacks. I experimentally toggle a few buttons to see what they do and shift some sliders around. Satisfied that I understood what I was doing, I hit the 'w' key to move my character forward for the first time this entire game.

The thing proceeds to rocket and flop around like a demented version of the goat from Goat Simulator right into the gOat. This proceeds to drastically change their angle and entagle each other as they rocket right into the Minecraftian Sun.

I just stare at my screen for a moment before ever so subtly checking that I had the footage recorded. Upon confirming that, I used an Action to load it up to my Youtube Account as 'Preview: Simumodder Let's Play(?)'. In the description I write 'Currently fighting to get this thing off of my phone, and this is where it gets me.'

It then proceeds to get a ton of views because, let's be real, the hot topic if the Simumodder + Minecraft/Youtobe wombo combo + Goat Simulator physics + Yeeting into the sun would cause any Youtube account to experience a spike in popularity. These views turn into likes, and the likes turn into an occasional Subscriber.

This also has the added bonus of them looking through the rest of my account, which I was using as a dev vlog for my game that had come out! however, this strategy is one of those 'percents of a percents of a percents' thing when it comes to getting what I really want - an increase in people buying my game! Oh well.

I then look and see that one of the options I had messed with cost an Action, meaning I was tapped out for this turn. Oh well, there was always next turn.

===================================================================

Actions:

Action 1: Yeet the Simumodder/Minecraft Avatar into the gOat and as a consequence into the Sun.

Action 2 + 3: Begin a convoluted Youtube to Money System! Basically I get X amount of views for any videos I make. I can trade in 1,000 views for 1 Subscriber(Who will add 1 view to each future video made). I can trade in 100 Subcribers for one 'Backlogger' (Who looks through and likes all the previous videos +25 for the fictional Dev Vlog). And finally I can trade in 10 Backloggers for a 1 time boost of $10 dollars for my money that will totally be useful at some point maybe.

Entity Orders:

DIO - Mind Control the Mutated Zombie

Resources:
Credits: 1
Money: $50,500 in game revenue

Elsewhere, on another Earth far in the future, a Guardian of indeterminate age leans on a rail on the Tower, overlooking the Last City where most of humanity resides. The Traveler, broken but awake after the events of the Red War, floats above the City as it has since the Collapse, watching over all that live beneath it. The Guardian watching all this is an Exo, one Lucy-3, who is taking a break from their near-constant ass-kicking of everything in the system to relax for a bit.

...wait, why am I narrating all this stuff I already know? I would know, I'm Lucy for Traveler's sake! Shaking my head, I watch as all the other Guardians go about their business, ready to spend the day without shooting everything that moves for once.

But of course, that isn't what happens. My Ghost materializes in front of me, frantic in his movements.

GHOST: Lucy, something is wrong!
LUCY: Of course it is, why wouldn't it.
LUCY: *sigh* What's the problem?
GHOST: Something's interfering with my systems, a...
GHOST: ...by the Light, this is ridiculous...
GHOST: ...a game of some kind.
LUCY: A game?
LUCY: You can't be serious.
GHOST: I am though!
GHOST: It keeps forcing itself to top priority, I can't do anything else for more than a few seconds at a time!
GHOST: It's infuriating!
LUCY: Alright, calm your circuits buddy.
LUCY: Can you get rid of it?
GHOST: If I could, I would've already.
GHOST: But it's...
GHOST: Actually, I think you should take a look yourself.

Ghost (I really need to come up with an actual name for him) backs up slightly, then projects a holographic screen in front of me. Through it, I see... something. I think it's supposed to be a game, but it's the most chaotic thing I've ever seen. What's all this about actions and whale blubber and vampires and Dimmadomes?

>ACTION 1: Ugh, whatever. I start by sending the Simumodder a sternly-worded message through the chat.

LUCY-3: oi simmy get your malware outta my ghost
LUCY-3: ive killed gods before and i will do it again if you dont fuck off right now

>ACTIONS 2+3: I then "charge" with my remaining 2 actions, giving me 2 "CP" apparently.

Action 1: I put the gOat in a bOat aflOat in a mOat. The bOat is full of Oats, and gOats love to eat Oats. But within the Oats are stOats, so when the gOat eats the Oats, it gets a thrOat full of stOat. The stOats rip out the gOat's thrOat, throw its body in the mOat, and then sail away and glOat.

Action 2: I throw holy water on the Mutant Zombie- wait, oops, that was just regular water. I'll have to convert it to holy water on the fly. How does one turn water into holy water? Simple, you just boil the hell out of it. The Mutant Zombie goes up in a cloud of steam.

Action 3: I charge 1 CP.

CP: 6.