VICTORY GOES TO: The Battle Droid Squad!
No team victory this time.

This is gonna seriously skew the leaderboard.

Ha, no kidding.


Rogerio Rogers stands atop the podium at the awards ceremony. Mouth currently closed with a very beleaguered look on his face as the 10 battle droids chant ROGER ROGER at slowly but steadily increasing volumes.


Time for rollcall!



And we'll see you all next time.



OOC: Well, that was a more 'laid back' season. Which is to say, slightly boring. Hopefully it'll get more exciting again in the future.

F

OOC entry:
Hello again everyone, I seem to be doing this a lot more lately, don't I? Maybe it'll last, maybe it won't, we'll see.

This session brings with it another new Audience Power option!
Illegal Charge Steroids! When used on an entity, that entity will increase in power up to the next tier of entity strength. This cannot increase an entity's abilities past the power of the current wave, and increases in cost the more times an entity's been boosted already.


Welcome ladies and gentlemen once again to a new season of Statstick Arena!

Thrill and chills

and lots of kills!

...we're still working on the slogan.

Anyways, we're here for the latest season opener.

Notably, we got the first season folks to come back again! All of them were quite willing to participate once again!

This show still probably won't be the most spectacular...

But it'll be better than last time at the very least.

Enough chatter, LET THE FIGHTING COMMENCE


WAVE I

The crowd cheers and [flavor text not written because I'm suddenly very tired]
Potted Plant, Trash Can, Creeper, and Angry Farmer summoned.


Field Status
Potted Plant. HP: 5,000/5,000. Am-bush: 0/3.
Garbage Can. HP: 5,000/5,000.
Creeper. HP: 10,000/10,000.
Angry Farmer. HP: 8,000/8,000. Pitchfork: Ready.

Audience Power Points: 2
The Fallen: None yet.


No new stat bars this time. How about that.

Suggestion: Hey Angry Farmer, you should team up with the Potted Plant because, well, it's a plant. Farmers and plants, an alliance older than writing.

Creeper! Be a creep!
-Creepy Creeper creeper

is this dead?

For the moment. I might come back to it but this was always as "because I feel like it" project, and I haven't felt like doing it in a while.

2 Audience power points expended!
Angry Farmer, team up with the Potted Plant!
Creeper, be a creep!


Round 1:
Angry Farmer hears the familiar buzz in his head and looks over at the Potted Plant. He waves at it hesitantly, and the plant rustles back in a friendly manner. He guesses that means they're on the same team?

The creeper receives an order as well...
MORE OF THIS RACIST MALARKY? ANGEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
The Creeper hisses as powerfully as it can and runs headlong into the nearest entity. Which happens to be the Garbage Can. Kablooey. The Garbage Can rattles out what's probably morse code for "not again" and dies.

The Angry Farmer scratches the back of his head. That was easy.


End of round:
+2 APP!


WAVE II

The audience gives a collective yawn, and the summoners whir to life. Another old friend arrives on the field of battle!
Unsettling Teapot, Battle Droid Squad, and Healing Toaster summoned!


I feel like I'm waking up from a long nap...

Don't worry about it it'll probably happen again.

What?


Field Status
Potted Plant: [Team 1] HP: 5,000/5,000. Am-bush: 1/3.
Angry Farmer: [Team 1] HP: 8,000/8,000. Pitchfork: Ready.
Unsettling Teapot: HP: 7,500/7,500.
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x10). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x10)
Healing Toaster: HP: 10,000/10,000. Toast: 0/10.

Audience Power Points: 2
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper


No new statbars again, nor will there be for the rest of this particular fight.

Give some liquid Badbutt to the Potted Plant!

2 Audience Power Points expended!
Apply Badbutt Juice to the Potted Plant


Round 2:
The Angry Farmer waves to the Healing Toaster, which happily hops on over, procuring another piece of toast. Team 1 gains the toaster!

The Angry Farmer whirls around as a chorus of ROGER ROGERs rings out across the field. Oh no! The Potted Plant is surrounded! The droids ready their weapons... and at Rogerio's command they all open fire!

The first shot swings wild and clips the side of the potted plant, causing it to swivel around as the blaster fire careens towards it. The first shot fired at it bounces off the pottery and ricochets off a rock. The potted plant continues spinning around as the blaster bolts scream towards it, bouncing off the gloss on its leaves, the shine on its pots paint, or just whiffing past the plant altogether.

When the dust settles, the potted plant is still standing (although heavily singed) and two of the battle droids are not. Rogerio looks over at the Angry Farmer and makes a gesture at the battle droids like "Look at this! Look at what I have to deal with!" The Angry Farmer gives him a sympathetic patting motion.

The Teapot makes a spider. The Angry farmer walks over and beheads a battle droid with his pitchfork.


End of round:
+2 APP!


I've never seen a plant matrix duck before.

Quack quack motherGORILLAs.

...wrong kind of duck.

Oh. I was wondering.


Field Status
Potted Plant: [Team 1] HP: 1,000/5,000. Am-bush: 2/3.
Angry Farmer: [Team 1] HP: 8,000/8,000. Pitchfork: Ready.
Healing Toaster: [Team 1] HP: 10,000/10,000. Toast: 1/10.
Unsettling Teapot: HP: 7,500/7,500.
Teaspider (x1). HP: 1,500/1,500 (x1)
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x7). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x7)


Audience Power Points: 2
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper

No audience power points expended

Small balance note, but I'm switching systems so that charged abilities tick up at the beginning of the round, rather than the end, as this is more intuitive.


Round 3:
The Angry farmer flips a piece of toast over to the potted plant, which somehow regains most of its health despite not having a mouth. It is promptly replaced by the toaster. Rogerio looks like he's about to burst into tears.

In the hopes of perhaps being more successful with a different target, Rogerio orders his droids to all fire on the unsettling teapot. More than half of his droids miss, the teapot only takes a small amount of damage. Rogerio slumps to the ground amidst a chorus of distressed "ROGER ROGER"s, defeated.

The Unsettling Teapot's teaspider runs up to the battledroids and quickly dismantles one of them with its own blaster. LOOK OUT THAT SPIDER HAS A GUN. Good thing spiders can't use guns. Another spider joins the first spider. Spider spider spider. Spider doesn't sound like a word anymore.

The Angry Farmer does some quick threat analysis, and while the potted plant russles ominously, walks over and stabs the teapot a couple of times. As it is a teapot, it can do nothing to depend itself, but he hears disgruntled spider noises from inside the teapot.


End of round:
+2 APP!


I feel sorry for the dude in the battle droid costume.

RIP him and his droids.


Field Status
Potted Plant: [Team 1] HP: 4,000/5,000. Am-bush: 0/3.
Angry Farmer: [Team 1] HP: 8,000/8,000. Pitchfork: Ready.
Healing Toaster: [Team 1] HP: 10,000/10,000. Toast: 1/10.
Unsettling Teapot: HP: 3,000/7,500.
Teaspider (x2). HP: 1,500/1,500 (x2)
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x6). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x6)


Audience Power Points: 4
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper

Divine Shield the teapot. Let's see if the spiders can turn this around.

2 Audience Power Points Expended
>Divine Shield applied on Unsettling Teapot


Round 4:
The healing toaster produces another toast and the Potted Plant sits there planting. The Angry Farmer decides that now is the time to finish off the most dangerous competitor and charges forwards. He whips his pitchfork upwards and swings it around to try and bat the teapot out of the arena entirely.

But before he can finish the swing, a rope of spider silk whips out of the spout and latches onto his pitchfork. It yanks on the farming implement and the farmer barely holds onto it, sprawling on the ground and failing his attack. The battle droids are no better and miss every shot, except one, which hits the farmer.

The spiders already on the field join together and pull the head off another battle droid using hastily made garotte wire. Another spider exits the teapot.


End of round:
+2 APP!


Did those spiders just lasso the pitchfork?

Sentences you never expect to hear outside of DTG.


Field Status
Potted Plant: [Team 1] HP: 4,000/5,000. Am-bush: 1/3.
Angry Farmer: [Team 1] HP: 6,000/8,000. Pitchfork: Ready.
Healing Toaster: [Team 1] HP: 10,000/10,000. Toast: 2/10.
Unsettling Teapot: HP: 3,000/7,500.
Teaspider (x3). HP: 1,500/1,500 (x3)
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x5). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x5)


Audience Power Points: 4
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper

0 audience power points expended!


Round 5:
The Potted Plant and Healing Toaster do their work (which is to say, not much) and the Angry Farmer charges forwards towards the Unsettling Teapot. Unfortunately, he finds his path blocked by several angry teaspiders.

The battle droid commander looks from the spiders to the teapot to the angry farmer. His droids aren't doing much, if the spiders have their way everyone on the field will be obliterated... unless... The droid commander points his gun at the angry Farmer and opens fire. The Teaspiders look at him with surprise, and in the moment of desperation, the Angry Farmer scrambles over towards the Healing Toaster, attempting to get to the toast and heal.

Too late for him, however. The teaspiders quickly regain their composure and swarm him. Angry Farmer killed.

The Healing Toaster shuffles nervously.


End of round:
+2 APP!


Rest in pieces angry farmer.

He made a good effort though.


Field Status
Potted Plant: [Team 1] HP: 4,000/5,000. Am-bush: 2/3.
Healing Toaster: [Team 1] HP: 10,000/10,000. Toast: 3/10.
Unsettling Teapot: HP: 2,000/7,500.
Teaspider (x4). HP: 1,500/1,500 (x4)
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x5). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x5)


Audience Power Points: 6
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper, Angry Farmer

Liquid Badbutt for the Healing Toaster!
And for the Unsettling Teapot, how about some Disaster Juice?

4 Audience Power Points expended!
Liquid Badbutt: Healing Toaster
Disaster Juice: Unsettling Teapot


Round 6:
The healing toaster suddenly feels... awesome. Way more awesome than normal. As the potted plant rustles ominously again, the healing toaster does a kickflip into the air and projectile launches a piece of toast right at the unsettling teapot. The Teaspiders attempt to intercept but due to cosmic chance the piece of toast is sharp, and slices through two of them before smashing the teapot into pieces.

One final, solitary spider crawls out of the wreckage, just in time for the battle droids to open fire. By some twist of fate, every single shot lands home (though two of them have to ricochet off the bleachers before they do). Teaspiders eliminated.


End of round:
+2 APP!


WAVE III

The audience, a fair bit more enthused than before, give some applause for the next round of contestants.
Smol Ket and Minion Potato Cop Car summoned!


Man, I thought the spiders were gonna turn it around there.

The audience is fickle my dude.


Field Status
Potted Plant: [Team 1] HP: 4,000/5,000. Am-bush: 0/3.
Healing Toaster: [Team 1] HP: 10,000/10,000. Toast: 3/10.
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x5). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x5)
Smol Ket: HP: 3,000/3,000
Minion Potato Cop Car: HP: 30,000/30,000. Police Brutality: 0/3.


Audience Power Points: 4
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper, Angry Farmer, Unsettling Teapot

Camera Filter on the Battle Droid Commander.

"I forget what the Minion... Potato... Cop Car... does exactly, but things don't look good for the incumbent contestants, even judging purely by its HP."

No audience power points expended!
Camera Filter: Battle Droid Squad


Round 7:
Rogerio Rogers looked out at the scattered remnants of his squad of battle droids. He was doing pretty well, all things considered. Among those things being that the battle droids under his command were total idiots and completely useless. But that... thing. That hijacked car with the little yellow demons in it. This might be a bit much even for him.

The car swerved around madly, with the minions inside of it chattering to themselves as usual. Suddenly it stopped its mad swerving, pointed directly at Rogerio and his droids. Wuh oh. Rogerio ordered his droids to open fire on the speeding vehicle before diving out of the way of it as it careened through his squad.

He slowly climbed back to his feet. Two more battle droids downed. That wasn't good...

The Smol Ket mews innocently, looking for someone to play with. The healing toaster creates another piece of toast, and the potted plant does more plantstuff. By which I mean sitting there doing slightly less than the healing toaster.


End of round:
+2 APP!


This ain't looking good for the battle droids.

No it is not, I think them even surviving to the next wave is pretty unlikely at this point, let alone to the end of the match.

Made a good showing though, you gotta admit.

Fair enough on that count.


Field Status
Potted Plant: [Team 1] HP: 4,000/5,000. Am-bush: 1/3.
Healing Toaster: [Team 1] HP: 10,000/10,000. Toast: 4/10.
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x2). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x2)
Smol Ket: HP: 3,000/3,000
Minion Potato Cop Car: HP: 27,000/30,000. Police Brutality: 1/3.


Audience Power Points: 6
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper, Angry Farmer, Unsettling Teapot

No audience power points expended!


Round 8:
The minion potato cop car drives donuts around the edges of the arena. There's nothing that the other contestants can really do. It seems like this fight is destined to go to the minions... Gibbering in their eldritch tongue, the minions pick out their next victim.

The Potted Plant makes a rustling noise as the cop car speeds towards it. DOWN+B. Right as the car careens into the pot, shattering it, vines and leaves and thorns erupt out of the ground, ripping up the turf around it all. When the earth stops heaving... the Car is gone. Nothing left but a few pieces of scrap metal and a shredded tire.

Rogerio watches this with mild disbelief. But it's all well and good, he's at least made it this far! He orders his droids to open fire on the toaster which bounces around squeaking as blaster shots rain down upon it. It still finds time to make a new toast though.

The Smol Ket mews. Why will nobody pet it?


End of round:
+1 APP!


FINAL WAVE

The audience applauds the violent and sudden death of the minion potato cop car as the summoners whir to life one final time.
King Slime summoned!


Well that was a fortuitous outcome wasn't it?

Not gonna help that much, the king slime's all set to win yet another season if the current layout of the field is anything to go by.


Field Status
Healing Toaster: HP: 7,500/10,000. Toast: 5/10.
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droid. HP: 2,500/2,500
Smol Ket: HP: 3,000/3,000
King Slime: HP: 40,000/40,000


Audience Power Points: 7
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper, Angry Farmer, Unsettling Teapot, Potted Plant, Minion Potato Cop Car


No stats once again. They can be found near the end of Season 1.

No audience power points expended! (though I didn't really give the chance admittedly)


Round 9:
The Smol Ket meanders over to the King Slime and mews cutely. The King Slime cannot resist the cute, and after wobbling to call the healing toaster over to his side of the field, solidifies his team. It looks like Team Jiggletoast will be taking the day once again.

Rogerio watches this all and sighs. He simply lies down and accepts his fate.

Battle Droid squad killed!


Well that was rather anticlimactic.

Definitely.

Either way, it's time to engage the...


Victory Decision Engaged:
Team Victory: 0. Individual Victory: 0.
Vote now on your phones! Or whichever electronic device you're using I guess.


Field Status
King Slime: [Team 1] HP: 40,000/40,000
Healing Toaster: [Team 1] HP: 7,500/10,000. Toast: 5/10.
Smol Ket: [Team 1] HP: 3,000/3,000


Audience Power Points: 7
The Fallen: Garbage Can, Creeper, Angry Farmer, Unsettling Teapot, Potted Plant, Minion Potato Cop Car, Battle Droid Squad