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P̶̴̸͝͞o̷͘s͟͢͡͠t̵́́̕͢ IĮ́͟҉̨I͘

I've heard about this thing known as a nightmare before christmas.

So, let me show you a nightmare during christmas. A sugary, salty, liquorice nightmare.

I fire Sweet Spades at the Animatronic Heavy. Thousands of ethereal playing cards teleport in and deal additional damage to the Heavy.
I check TIE-24

Also, Merry Christmas everyone.

Fluorite Quartet 2/5

Gold 0ctet 3/9

S'more Sticks && Sweet Tooth

No. I made the 0live 0ctet.

Also, to each scope, how many does it have?

Golden Sunsticks 7/11

I examine the elusive TIE-Fighter #36.

I decidedly will not attack anything directly. My time is better devoted to defense, until the final point is reached. Some sort of entropy manipulation technique would be suited to this operation. And other things. Hah.

Now, I think it would be best if I were to prepare for the... project Gutza suggested. I shall have to prepare Grayhold. 1/50 (May I use my assists? It is fine if I cannot).

Afterwards, I peer at any remaining animatronics. However, I decide not to empty a metaphorical bottle of liquid suffering into them. Instead, I would find it more productive to serve as a guardian. Anyhow, I contemplate how I am going to get this to function. Of course. I could attempt to generate the beginning-less. Hah. Of course, if this goes wrong, every living thing in the universe will die, and all magic with cease to function. However, I am reasonably certain I can generate a Void Nova, and exploit it for defensive purposes. As such, I begin by constructing an Infusion Altar in the center of the Battlefield, and not placing any destabilizes around. Then, I place random objects on the pedestals, not really caring what goes where. Fortunately, I place a plank of oddly coriaceous mahogany upon the central catalyst pedestal. Otherwise, this would have been a doomed effort. I tap the Runic Matrix with my wand. Immediately, it begins convulsing, attempting to create something that cannot exist. After a minute or so, it comes to the conclusion that there is nothing it can do. As such, it begins firing bolts of aubergine lightning about indiscriminately, striking a few animatronics, if any are still functional. The seizing cubic Matrix begins to shake feverishly, the amethyst runes scratched into the surface beginning to fade to black. At that sign, I raise the Hazel Wand, and a bubble surrounds the Matrix. Liquid lead begins pouring from nowhere, and the ground is crystallized by pure mercury. Instantaneously, an immensely strong gravitational pull attempts to drag all things into this incessantly muttering hole of infinite oblivion. Flux Gas and Goo spray about, clearly unaffected, and suffocate several hundred irrelevant players, corroding their singed remains and mangled bodies. These are not Players, but mere people outside of the Battlefield. Anyhow, back at the point of oblivion, I focus most of my telekinetic prowess to keep myself from being annihilated. Fortuitously, I recall the method I could use to contain this universe-consuming... thing. Raising the Hazel Wand, I mutter softly, swiftly, and incoherently. The bubble around the Nova grows smaller and smaller, until it resembles a pure black sphere of oblivion. The pull ceases. I grab this sphere of oblivion, and toss it into the air, striking it with Quasar's Nightcrawler. A shockwave of pure reality itself blows everything surrounding me back in an 'inconspicuous' manner. All is utterly silent for a few seconds, until I realize what I have just done. I have contained the uncontainable. I have essentially just conquered the void itself. Of course, that is a blatant lie designed by my subconscious to make me feel as if I am relevant to the methods used by a universe to perpetuate its own existence, and future annihilation in the great undoing. That was technically too small to count as a Void Nova, and was merely the highest level of instability obtainable without generating one. Still, that is an amazing breakthrough, of the likes I have not observed before, nor heard of. Anyways, I focus my will. Slowly, impossibly, the sphere of void bends and expands, creating a large dome of oblivion sorcery within fifteen minutes. Anything that touches it will inevitably be annihilated, whether by the sphere or some other inauspicious reason. Obviously, there is room for more than one being. Actually, there is room for seventeen, but that would be idiotic. And extremely loud. Beyond the computer, in the meteor, I merely close my eyes, open my Chumroll, and pick several to eventually shorten to one person, evidently tabbing out of Minecraft. Later, I am left with approximately four people. My elven eyes stare at the screen, sweeping over the four left. No, not him. He is too destructive. As is that one. No, DEFINITELY not him. I suppose this one will work...
And, with that, I tab back into Minecraft, and teleport Tazz within the sphere of indomitable defensive capabilities. Congratulations. You were the best option. We are now both protected from some attacks this turn.

EDIT: Merry Christmas.

—

Around the same time, a universe away, an elf sits at his computer, contemplating the strange holidays his human friends celebrate. Obviously, that elf is me. Anyhow, I stare at the computer screen for a few seconds, before deciding to do something. Everybody else seems to be doing something on this meteor, save me and my four best friends. Even Zoey, and she is in the infirmary. I look to my right, to the person sitting before her computer around ten feet away, doing whatever it is she does. I flush slightly as I speak, rolling my chair over.

Did you discern the 'magnificent' festivities the humans are participating in?
Breathtaking derision.
Indeed.
Anyhow, I thought we could... erm... do something fun. That is, if you want to.
Umm... okay. You probably don't have anything particular to celebrate, do you?
No. I suppose we can... have a walk outside?
Let's just stay here. I don't think we need anything too complex.
Hah, I suppose.
Yeah...
...
...

We sit there, awkwardly. Then, Navela goes back to playing what appears to be some sort of game on her computer. I grab a book, and begin to read. Within the hour, both lay, discarded and paused, next to each other as we get into a conversation. A minute or so later...

I don't really see what the point of it was. He must have been utterly insane!
Nope, I think she probably did something. Involving seduction.
Perhaps we should get off of this topic. Like I was saying earlier, the pure, unadulterated origin of the sorceries I practice was the Vis field around us.
And the early philosophical processes people 400,000 loä ago had.

This continues for nearly ten minutes. By the end, we are both laughing at the absurdity of the whole notion of our session as a whole, cynically. I do not object when Navela slips her hand into mine. For a few seconds, there is silence on this technical amimic date, until she leans in. I do so as well, appearing to bury myself in her long, messy dark hair. With a few centimeters in between ourselves, we begin to ki-
*clack*
Sh**.

Of course, we stare at each other, blushing heavily. Due to our sheer incompetence in the art of kissing, it appears as if we have gotten into a little, erm... situation. I stare at Navela through my Dave-esque glasses (which are oddly real glasses, instead of sunglasses), which are currently directly touching her thin-rimmed, oval-shaped glasses. The one time. I swear. The ONE TIME neither of us are drunk.

Err... Perhaps we should have had more...
Practice?
Yes. So... I suppose that was the... most utterly embarrassing celebration I've had in a while.
Umm... me too.

We move away from each other, still flushing profusely. Navela tucks a strand of black hair behind her ear, and I reach for my book.
Overall, the best holiday I've had in quite a while.

Ṕ҉̵͡o̴̴͘͝s̶̨̡t̴̷ III̶҉̸̛

I fire a marshmallow at the Level 3 Sentry using S'more Sticks.

I check TIE-50

I then heal Ampers4nd.
Fluorite Quartet 3/5

S'more Sticks && Sweet Tooth 2/X

Gold 0ctet 4/9

Also, why does Piono have 30 max health?

Question twin, how many spoils of war do we have left to collect? I've finally pinned down the number of stupidly overpowered halfjokealchemies I wanna test out. As of right now, I have 5 left to do.
2/7 for the elemental rocket
10/11 for Finem
9/11 for Deus Liber

Hank grabs the solider, lifts it up with his mutant-arm, then smashes it into the medic, grabs the medic, and with the two of them on his morphing arm, swings it around through the rest of group two, leaving the two as the weapon that takes large amounts of durability loss due to being smashed into the other animatronics at high velocity. Hank continues smashing them into the other animatronics for a while, then performs a fairly accurate recreation of Hulk's 'puny god' take down, then whips them up in the air, retracts his arm, then hits the two so hard they fly into a massive patch of glitch and take massive damage from being internally warped.

Then Hank turns and sees the chaos shard.
That little *****
Hank rushes over to serpent, grabs her by her neck with his regular hand, pinning her arms with the mutant one.
You're going to tell us how to stop that thing before I throw your avatar into that stupid thing.
I hope you realize that if you get overexposed enough it might just leak through your computer.
Before it even leaves Godcraft.
When Serpent predictably attempts to pull out a weapon, two things assist Hank: 1. his super-human reaction time, and 2. the fact that Godcraft's fps is dropping slightly because of the Glitch, meaning that computers logged into it aren't viewing stuff in real time, allowing Hank to react before Serpent can finish her action. Upon the inevitable attempt at stabbing/shooting/whatever, Hank throws her minecraft avatar in the war of the chaos shard, blocking the strands of energy from empowering the animatronics.

P̷̧͟͠҉o̶̢s̷̷͠͝t̨̨̨͘͡ III

I use Fllet Hour at the Animatronic Demoknight.

I check TIE-70
Fluorite Quartet 4/5

Gold 0ctet 5/9

S'more Sticks && Sweet Tooth 3/X

POST 2;
4/? Gift
4/? Gift
4/? Gift
Null&Void Botanic Bewitched Fused Eldritch Creation Infernal Conclave Glitchy Conch Cosmic Tubas of Yggdrasil || Christmas Star = Point of Origin (Level 10: 3/11)
Twig of Yggdrasil || Tinsel = Constellate Decor (Level 10: 3/11)
Pure Conch Energy || Christmas Ordainments = Conchnaments (Level 10: 3/11)

MY INVENTORY
Potions: 1x Nightshade, 2x Frostbite
I +1 Leon and Erelye.
(Gerbil Clone): \Idleing.
(Gerbil Ghost Image): I check TIE 65.

Gerbil Ghost Image ==> Execute: Null & Void - Level 5 OVERLOAD. Target: Animatronic Spy
I have no idea what this does.

Abilities
=-=-=-=-=~=~=~=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SIDEQUEST

Quote from Talist»

@Nimble: I'm not sure what really is happening... Am... Am I supposed to keep attacking? I'm not sure if this is the start of a long death scene or a phase shift.
-snip-

Right now, you have to destroy the Spacetime Crystal and Golden Crystal, then remove the last percent of Waluiginess.

Maniac: Alchemy at 5. I use the SHADOW FRACTAL to duplicate myself into 4 copies. We surround the Medic and spin attack him as one!

Midna: I check TIE #65

=TURN ONE=

=CHARGE=
-50 / 50- Table's End -> SAVING
-3 / 5- Search Light (+2 from Modpack)
+2 to Modpack

=ACTION=
...
Why is everyone doing absurdly fancy long attacks?
May as well join in.

(DISCLAIMER: This is a non-charged attack on the Demoknight, which is really, really fancy)

I quickly switch the ARMISTYX to TORNADO GUN SCYTHE MODE and scoop up several animatronics. I then switch the ARMISTYX to FLAMETHROWER SCYTHE MODE and light the tornado ablaze. I then switch the ARMISTYX to FIREPROOF SUIT SCYTHE MODE and equip it, while quickly firing a burst from the CHAIRSLAYER, which promptly launches me into the Tornado. While in the tornado, I quickly slash every single last animatronic caught in it, and then I end up pulling out my ANTIMATTER BAYONET, which I fire into the core of the tornado. The tornado vanishes, and all the Animatronics (including myself) fall to the ground. I then fire the CHAIRSLAYER into the air, causing several bolts of lightning to strike the field, damaging several animatronics. I then use CHAIR CRACKER LVL 10: SUPERNOVA, causing a great inferno of chairs to swamp the animatronics. I then unequip the FIREPROOF SUIT SCYTHE and switch the ARMISTYX to VORTEX SCYTHE MODE, and suck all the animatronics into it. I then stuff several mini-nukes, chairs and several laser blasts from the HAND OF PEARL into the Vortex, and toss a primed grenade into the VORTEX SCYTHE. The ARMISTYX explodes in a blaze of glory (and splinters) and is destroyed (once again). Debris litters the battlefield.

(I really want to kill the Demoknight. If I can't multi-target, this all hits the Demoknight.)

I also check TIE FIGHTER 33 in a really boring fashion.

Maniac: Alchemy at 6. I use the SHADOW FRACTAL to split into an infinite amount of copies, then charge as one into the ANIMATRONICS. Most of them are trampled.... Man, I love this weapon!

Midna: I check TIE #15

Orbital Weapons
Mini- Ion Cannon 0/2
Mini-Bio Annihilator 4/4

Battlefield: Shoot Ultramarine at a random animatronic.
Orbital Weapons:
Potions: Critmist II x12, Potion of Magic

I duplicate 3 potion of critmists.

-Blue's Estate: Medical Wing-
I really must insist you leave now, engie. For my sake, if not yours.

-Wilson's Lab-
Hmm... I guess you react differently to teleportation than people do in my universe.
What exactly does this potion do, anyways?

Quote from TheLordErelye»

Net, I meant in word amount.

And I meant length. ;P

Yeah, your mastery of the longpost is unchallenged when you don't have entire armies to move around.

/null

3/7 for the elemental rocket
I finish Finem
10/11 for Deus Liber

Hank rounds on the animatronics once more, and pulls out a special grenade.
He lobs it into their midst, and all of them are pinned down by one of the mini black-hole bombs from Thor Dark World, while its still going, Hank pulls out an EMP grenade, and lobs it in there, where it detonates, messing up the animatronics.
He then rounds on the spies, grabs one, smashes its head into the ground, then grabs the other one and throws it into the glitchiness beyond.
Hmm... At least its a good environmental hazard to weaponize.

Yay! I'm not dead!

Action 1/3

Magma Mortars: 8/10

Elemental Retribution: 43/50

Orbit Control: 18/50

I summon the Lagfest Demoman upon the Payday, if legal.
Lagfest Demoman: 175/175 HP
Strange Loch-n-Load: Deals a large amount of damage. Usually misses. Small splash radius. Can self-damage.
Strange Sticky Launcher: Deals a good amount of damage. Large splash radius. No direct damage. Only capable of firing 8 shots. Can self-damage.
Frying Pan: Deals a decent amount of damage. Only useable at melee range. No self-damage.

If not, I spam sticky bombs all over the enemies, detonate all of them, and blast the survivors with a Loch-n-Load.

Sword Damage: 99K/250K

=TURN TWO=

=CHARGE=
-50 / 50- Table's End -> SAVING
-4 / 5- Search Light
+2 to Modpack

=ACTION=
I pull out some JARATE and toss it towards the Animatronic Horde.

I also search TIE FIGHTER 20.

@Nimble: I use my wrench to fold space over and make a shortcut up to on top of the Golden Crystal. I then slam the top of it repetitively with the bottom of the Staff of Ysera (assuming I have it here).
=-=-=-=Laiko=-=-=-= (You can buy healing and other supplies here)
Alchemy Emporium: The number in parentheses is the number of times you need to assist Laiko's charges in order to buy it. Current status: open _ Total wealth = 54$ _ Laiko's charges A: 15/50, B: 15/50 --------- Items: Potion of (super?) rejuvenation x2 (2$) <|> Splash Nightshade potion x2 (4$) <|> Potion of Magic x2 (2$) <|> Splash potion of frostbite x2 (3$) <|> Potion of (holy) Wrath x2 (3$) <|> Extended potion of cuts x2 (3$) <|> Potion of Nectar x4 (2$ Healing Potions here!!!!) <|> Splash potion of Critmist II x3 (3$) <|> Splash Venom Potion x2 (3$) <|> Splash potion of chills x1 (4$) <|> Potion of Ambrosa x2 (2$) <|> Nectar cake x2 (3$) <|> Woolen Bandage x4 (1$) <|> Potion of dreams x1
=+=Medical Wing=+=
Well, when I... whoa... I teleport, I travel through the fourth spacial dimension. Um... how technical should I get with thi- ugh... with this... My eyes are three dimensional and receive light two dimensionally. When they exist in a four dimensional space, they receive light three dimensionally, which they were never meant to do. So most of my symp- ahh... symptoms have to do with my eyes. But, a similar thing happens to the rest of my body. Like, wit- with sound waves. Those hit my heart and othe- wha... other organs without any insolation from my skin. Wilson seems to be wobbling somewhat. Uh... the Potion of Magic... I think that does... it causes a random magical effect on being drunk. If you're looking for a more of a po- He stumbles slightly and scrambles to get back up. For more of a potion of mana, you might want to try the Potion of Vis... well... once I'm done with it anyway... Ugh... I don't feel very well... Two long distance teleportations... wasn't too fun... I'll be fine... just need to lie down...

Nectar Potion O0O Potion of Magic = Potion of Vis done
I'll take this anyway. Awkward Potion OOO Pulverized Steel = Potion of strength done
Charging up shop decorations... 2/5 *3 I think I'll have to use Wilson's stored charge for this... (total 6 gifts).

I still do nothing due to being deceased... What a bad time to die.

Guided Antimatter Missile: 7/9

Midna DNA Sequencing: 8/20

Midna Ectobiology Report: 8/20

Transmitter Shrinking: 3/??

Small Rocket Engine Shrinking: 3/??

==Actions==

Lothyra: I shoot the Demoknight in the mouth area that Bender just damaged with iAntimak. I then heal everybody and alchemize Troper's Nuke Armor & Mini Antimak.

Bender: I search TIE FIGHTER # 76.

{AAAGHYAAADAAAA!!!}

Overworld: Badly damaged from the sticky bombs, the Shard (of Engie) descents to the ground, cracks appearing on the surface. The gray aura extends, then is cut off by a death barrier appearing around the Shard. Technically, that makes me functionally dead for this turn, so this entire post is a null. Also, the Wingdings on this forum are absolutely trash, so I can't weird out my post like I wanted to. TECHPIECE, in alarm, turns around to look at Zone 7, then frowns, projecting a barrier at long range via a modified Medigun beam, preventing people from getting too close to the Shard.

Blue's Estate, Medical Wing: "Very well. Even though I would love to stay and talk to you more, I'd rather not risk endangering you if I can help it. So, I guess I'll see myself out." The drone flash-steps to the door, then as an afterthought turns back to face Blue. "Stay safe, and if people do end up trying to hunt me down, enjoy the fireworks show but engage any sort of planetary or localized defense you might have here." It then steps out the door and rockets upwards, leaving behind a gray trail of energy, which dissipates in seconds.

The Rancho Relaxo that had been abandoned due to the owner leaving folds up, turning into a toolbox, then whirs for a moment and clicks, self-building into a dispenser. Not just any dispenser, but a Festive dispenser. Meaning it's all decorated and cool stuff, like festive weapons. The festive dispenser auto-upgrades to level 3, then projects a gray medigun beam to Blue. The noise made indicates that the dispenser uses Quick-Fix based healing. A name tag and description tag hanging from the ammo belt are caught by the wind, causing them to flutter.

/roleplaynullbecausedamnyouTwinittookyoutoolongtoupdatesoIcouldrespawnthentakemyturnlikeIusuallydosonowIhavetodothisotherwiseIwillendupdraggingbackeverybodyelsesroleplayandthatjustcompletelykillstheimmersionholycraphowlonghaveImadethisstupidspacelesssentenceitmustbelikeahundredlettersatleastalreadyokaymaybeitmightbeagoodideatostopsoyeah

4/7 for the elemental rocket
I finish Deus Liber
I... I have no idea what to do now. I finished the alchemies I was aiming for...
Man, I guess I'm just gonna alchemize some level 10 ammo for Ultimatum, but shoot, after that I'm plumb out of ideas.
cannonball OR self-accelerator AND depleted uranium. 1/? (you can see what I'm aiming for here.)

Its time to alchemize one of the most overpowered weapons in the history of DTG.
jokealchemy: Ircucvci OR Terra Firma AND Levis Ignis AND Diluvium AND Superosque AND Vi Naturae AND Navitas Nox AND Arctoae AND Arcum Aereum AND Nulla Stella AND Denito Surrexit AND Deum Lucem AND Nocte Consumens AND Abiit AND Exedo AND Lex Ordinis AND Vita Australi AND Aquilonem Mors AND Vi Forti AND Traho AND Mens Potentiam AND Maleficis Est AND Disparem AND Potentias Eius AND Finem AND Deus Liber
This makes an ultimate sword of ridiculously overpowered awe-inspiring destructiveness. Its Plenary (level 100) plus magic, distortion, creation, oblivion and reality.
Total element list: earth, fire, water, air, plant, energy, ice, lightning, space, time, light, dark, void, chaos, order, life, death, metal, gravity, psychic, magic, distortion, creation, oblivion and reality.
>:)
And that's not even the worst one. I have four more to go...
Also, did you ever answer my question as to how many spoils we have left to obtain?

Anyways, Hank continues rampaging on the animatronics, but because its Christmas Day, we have photoshopped a Santa Hat on top of his head.

Orbital Weapons
Mini- Ion Cannon 0/2
Mini-Bio Annihilator 4/4

Battlefield: BT:Colourmatic the animatronics
Orbital Weapons:
Potions: Critmist II x15, Potion of Magic

I duplicate 3 potion of critmists.

I suppose everyone's off celebrating Christmas, which my family doesn't really do.

-Wilson's Lab-

That's fine and all.... but my teleportation doesn't involve the fourth dimension?
As far as I know, it's just plain old disappearing and reappearing somewhere else.
Either way, I must be leaving.

Red disappears in a flash of red.

-Blue's Estate: Medical Wing-

Blue walks over to read the tags on the dispenser, just as Red enters the room.

...Why is there a hole in the hallway roof? And I'm not even going to ask what that thing is.
There's a hole in the roof? ... I'll get someone to fix that. And this thing is a healing machine of some sort, maybe?

Red sits down on the chair, and cuts himself another slice of cake.

So... it's Humanity Day.
Yeah...

Red appears a gift in his hands.

You want to open my gift now?
Sure... a necklace? Is it safe to assume it has some magical property?
It's from me, isn't it? You'll have to figure out what that magic is on your own though.
Oh gee, I love surprises. Open my gift, Red. It's under the tree.

Red walks over, and opens the box under the tree.

It's... a box.. this isn't one of those damn infinite boxes, is it?
Nope. But there are several layers of boxes. Each of which is more difficult to open than the last. Your gift is in the last box.
...why?
For my entertainment, I guess.
Fair enough.

Happy Humanity Day, [Redacted]
Use Blue! Ah, whatever. Happy Humanity Day, [Redacted].

=-=-=-=Laiko=-=-=-= (You can buy healing and other supplies here)
Alchemy Emporium: The number in parentheses is the number of times you need to assist Laiko's charges in order to buy it. Current status: open _ Total wealth = 54$ _ Laiko's charges A: 15/50, B: 15/50 --------- Items: Potion of (super?) rejuvenation x2 (2$) <|> Splash Nightshade potion x2 (4$) <|> Potion of Magic x2 (2$) <|> Splash potion of frostbite x2 (3$) <|> Potion of (holy) Wrath x2 (3$) <|> Extended potion of cuts x2 (3$) <|> Potion of Nectar x4 (2$ Healing Potions here!!!!) <|> Splash potion of Critmist II x3 (3$) <|> Splash Venom Potion x2 (3$) <|> Splash potion of chills x1 (4$) <|> Potion of Ambrosa x2 (2$) <|> Nectar cake x2 (3$) <|> Woolen Bandage x4 (1$) <|> Potion of dreams x1

Ah... but... the fourth dimension is kinda like a... its a... uhh... path? That can pass through matter? It is a completely different directio- direction in space... ever seen a hypercube? Thats a three... ugh... dimensional representation of a fourth dimensional object... Wait- you look... wow... He glances around his lab. Has everything always looked like this? Wow... Oh, wait! Don't go! I have somethi- aww... He pauses, somewhat in marvel at the red light. Hm... I guess I should set up for Christmas... This is my second one... I missed my first one... better make up for all that lost fun... He starts setting up his decorations, marveling at some of them as though he had never seen them before. He flings garlands up across the rafters with gravity. Agh... why is this so har- ugh... so hard to wrap? No body seems that... awake right now. He starts scrawling invitations to everyone. Everyone is invited, and if you show up, you'll get a present.