Ooooohhhh, crap. I sneakily move to C5.

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 04:57:00

"What the actual-OK, who even is this guy?!

AT which point the Cloak's hood finally falls over to reveal the Not-Elf at long last, aka Roxxanne.

Who did you think it was, seriously? Tazz has parked himself somewhere safe and isolated to update in peace, and GF sent ©haos packing in fear the last time they fought (non-canon) because his Dark Souls skill was too great. That really only left the canonically-dubious Roxxanne.

Also, EVERYONE MURDER THE SLEUTH SO HE DROPS THE BARRIER, then BOLT it to the exit immediaetly. We can't really delay nor argue, Zetta is absolutely massive AND he's got several long-range AoE options to kill us as well as an instant-kill melee, meaning he can readily nuke us into oblivion, and taking out the heads may only worsen our issues. He may also have Contractual Boss Immunity to Slow, which is my concern (though I'm not 100% sure), meaning Sapsplash isn't going to help much...My one concern is why Zetta's thing to regenerate his heads costs 333 MP when he only has 60 to spend? Then again, if that's the case, no regenerating heads, hooray!

Also, thanks for the heals Wilson! You saved my life. I fling a Card into the Sleuth's corpse from where I stand, then back up to H3. Generic, might be prudent to cast Auto-Rez on me, or just heal me up, otherwise I WILL horrifically die, and given what Ire just said, that might empower Zetta, which could be massive trouble.

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 06:27:00

I summon JOHN CENA, who decides to hop into the slingshot, and is ready to be fired at the Sleuth. I then retreat to a safe distance from mister I Want To Kill Everybody In The World over there to reload in peace and quiet.

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 06:30:00

Toast gives a hearty speech which quickly turns into a war cry. "AS IF YER BETTER! YOU MOSS-SCRAMBLING, RED-TAILED, UNBEARDED, HEARTLESS LITTLE GROMMIT! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL US HYPOCRITES YOU BLOODY HYPOCRITE! I CAN SMELL YOUR LIES FROM HERE YOU SPITEFUL LUNCHRUINING DOLPHIN!"

She aims her 'HUGE GUN' at Zetta. Then shoots Sleuth and moves 1 down and 1 left.

"I MAY EAT MEAT, BUT I'M NOT A BLOODY IDIOT, ZETTA, YOU HYPOCRITICAL HYPROCRITICISING HYPOCRITE!"
EDIT: k

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 06:39:00

Uh, could you move those Ice Pillars? They just so happen to be in the way of the slingshot shot that I wanna make.

Preciated, mate.

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 06:51:00

I autorevive Roxanne and quietly contemplate if she's from "that" future, the one that ...sammy tazz? Was from. I might want to buy Wilson the True Mage Robes (justify them however you want) so that he can use Foxfire or Heal every turn.

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 06:59:00

I move to H4 and cast Guardian for Defense increase.

Don't Die my Bros!

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 07:48:00

Dang it, we should have saved the cabin for THIS idiot.

Hey ire, we ARE going to get to kill zetta at some point, right?
Anyways, I'm not going to lose exp for having been down during the portion of the fight with zetta, am I? I mean, it probably doesn't matter, but still, I want those ability points. Gotta up my CLUTCH DODGES M8!
Also, engie! Don't try and make a shot with the slingshot! We haven't got any ammo capable of being useful anymore! Pack up the slingshot so we can use it again later!

Also, secrets:
The nightmare patrols the skies.
(hey, its not the final boss)
[personal opinion: looks like ire's got a lot more planned than I was initially thinking he had. Chaos butterfly ain't the final boss]

The Glitch Girl has a character stats entry in hidden in the Map Archives tab. It looks like she isn't too strong though.

I found the following schematics in the archived battle tabs:
Glitch Beam
there were three more earlier, but it seems ire deleted them.

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 11:34:00

Can't really do anything, so, I guess just move to F5 and guard.
Edit:F5 not D5

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 15:27:00

(Eh, everyone who partakes in the fight gets skillpoints.)
(You will lose the non-existent skill points though.)

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 15:29:00

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1447846448))

engie! Don't try and make a shot with the slingshot! We haven't got any ammo capable of being useful anymore! Pack up the slingshot so we can use it again later!

I just loaded a goddamn SUMMON in there. Launching a guy worked so well last time, why not send another guy flying through the air to do... some ridiculous amount of minicrit damage?

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 16:57:00

Between my two characters, Willow is the first to speak up. Loudly.

Hey! You're one to talk to call Wilson a hypocri-

However, Wilson interrupts her.

Cynder, was it? Please, he'll be expecting that.

Then he turns towards Zetta and stares down (or rather, up) the hydra head. Don't tell me that my characters are afraid. Then, Wilson breaks a smile and starts arguing with Cthulhu. Talking is a free action after all.

Aw... did you just tell me how easy it is to send me to hell? Thanks. You're a swell guy. I thought that being nice would mean people like me, not get angry. Are you comparing yourself to me? I of course, need to defend my position from your good ol' hyper vegan argument on steroids. You want to have an argument about my dietary habits? Bring it. I shall defend myself with biology, but not in the way you might expect. First, I'm an omnivore. I can eat... um... most meats, vegetables, fruits, eggs, bugs, and some nuts. But I mostly eat fruit, which probably means I'm not getting enough protein, but whatever. Here's where the biology comes in. Do you know the difference between a fruit and a vegetable? Fruits (naturally anyway) have seeds in them. They are, by definition, the fleshy material surrounding seeds. You know why plants spend all that energy purposefully making something that is brightly colored, sweet, and full of vitamins? Seems like the plant is just asking to have them eaten, right? Thing is, they are. Fruits and nuts evolved to be as appealing as possible to animals specifically so that they will eat the fruit. So it's not like I'm murdering plants or whatever in the majority of my diet. For when I eat vegetables, eggs, and more rarely, meat, I will agree that is indirectly killing another organism to survive. Count this as trying to dodge responsibility all you like, but when I do occasionally harvest my own food from plants I've grown, it's just that. Plant's I've grown. By me growing, harvesting, then replanting my crops, I'm helping them with their end goal, having their seeds planted. And no, it is NOT the same thing with animals and their nervous systems and emotions. Speaking of animals, I don't actually hunt. I've hunted... have I ever hunted? I might have once or twice. I don't remember. Anyway, I don't kill other living animals for their meat. I'm more like a scavenger in that regard and take what's already dead. And now that I've gotten much stronger, I'd want to try something funny like using The Grid to convert light energy into chemical energy rather than hunt if I was starving.

Wilson pauses, taking a deep breath.

Onto the next part. You might hate this, but I can understand somewhat of how you feel. I've had that feeling of being completely powerless and desperate. You feel like there's nothing more in the world that you want than control, that ability to do something, to say something, to be able to interject into the writing of your future. I was there. I spent a long time frantically brewing potions as quickly as I could just to get them ready to sell to whoever might buy them. I didn't want the money directly. I wanted the money because it let me try to ransom myself to anyone who attacked me. But every time I set up a new potion, I was struck by a crippling fear that somebody, anybody would just flick me out of existence. Back then, if anyone made a real effort to kill me, there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop them. I couldn't run, I couldn't fight, I couldn't bargain, I would be totally powerless. My life was in the hands of others, so I did what you did. I fought to get some semblance of control. So... why exactly are you fighting now? How will attacking us give you control? None of us were responsible for your suffering. So what's the point? What really is it? Is it because Chaos told you to? Please don't let it be that. That would be so tragically ironic, you fighting so hard for control of your life only to throw it down a well first chance you get. I'd love to argue more, but Talist needs to go do something else right now, so I can't respond to anything else. Shutting up... now.

As for actual actions:

Willow -> D4
Wilson -> K3. Don't worry, he can still escape in one turn if needed by movement + telekinesis. Speaking of that,

He uses telekinesis on the Sleuth to move him to h5 so he's easier to hit. I somehow think Zetta has too high a speech defense to care about what I've said.

Originally posted on 2015-11-18 23:57:00

I move to F5

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 00:15:00

...If this is supposed to be normal, i'm afraid to see what's actually strange to you people.

MOVE: G3
SPELL: Totem AT E4
TURN END

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 02:14:00

=TURN FOURTY-FOUR=
As Toast finishes his speech, Zetta speaks to him.

How am I a hypocrite? I don't believe in the wrongness of killing was the point of that, and the only point. YOUR belief to the contrary makes YOU the hypocrite here!

Next, he cuts off Wilson mid-sentence, right before he can say the word "biology" for the first time.

Can it, fox! You talk too much, and you're missing the point of that anyways, like the other morons here probably will, but I wasn't here for an argument! I'm here for a meal, and shutting up your gorillaty , pious, asinine mouth in the process! And I've heard that foxmeat is quite the delicacy...

All three of Zetta's heads stare down Wilson. The first head licks it's lips; it seems that if the heads can make a move against Wilson that is still somewhat tactical, they'll do it. As for the situation on the field, everything is going rather well. The Barrier is almost down, and Zetta hasn't killed anyone. (Unless we count auto-revive deaths.)

=DOCUMENTS=
The documents that Toast looked up on the Cabin's computer have both loaded.

The first one seems to be links to about twelve dozen seperate Chair-o-mancy guides. ALL of them have notes next to the link, saying things like "worthless", "didn't work" and all sorts of things along the lines of that. Given that this is the Sleuth's computer, something's up here.

The second document is a message to someone. "Dear Descendant, as you read this, I will be dead. Or at the very least, my old personality will be dead. He stole my memory. My essence. And I fear that by the time you appear where I am sitting right now, I will have fully turned. While this strange, wooden world may be foreign to you, talk to the man (do chairians have gender?) named Spark. He'll guide you on your path, and perhaps teach you what he couldn't teach me. Also don't forget to feed the spider. There's that one really nice spider who deserves some love; he's like an awesome pet."

"Also, the code to the safe is 8-7-4-3. I feel that it's better to tell you how to open it from here rather than make you do a cryptic puzzle."

"From, The Sleuth"

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 03:14:00

Toast simply says, "You know what? Go to hell, you stone raven. You're probably sexist too.

And I don't care if you came from hell."

((What's the business with the green squares and how does the shop work?))

Toast Auguments... HOLD IT. NO. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. TOAST WALKS TO F7 AND PLACES THE CHAIR AS CLOSE AS SHE COULD TO SLEUTH IN THE HOPE IT WOULD MEAN SOMETHING. IF IT WOULDN'T OR NOTHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, SHE WALKS CALMLY AND SENSIBLY AND AUGUMENTS engie, MOVING TO F3 INSTEAD.

"Bonus damage "

Omg emotes.

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 03:41:00

Oh great let me guess we need the power of seven souls or something. Nah, you probably wouldn't do that. Anyways, I'll buy the True Mage Robes.

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 04:28:00

I move up to E5, then shoot the Sleuth body with the FULL POWER of my delete button Rifle! The order of actions is important here, I wanna abuse that bonus damage from the totem.

JOHN CENA puts the second Hydra head in a headlock, and motions to Wilson to get to safety.

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 04:38:00

QUOTE (insert_generic_username @ (time=1447907287))

Oh great let me guess we need the power of seven souls or something. Nah, you probably wouldn't do that.

((Yeah, that would be kinda foolish. It'd be nine souls, not seven.))

If I have to get out of here, it's fine by me. All I want is to get out of this place as quick as possible.

MOVE: F4
ATTACK: That Dead? Sleuth Guy

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 05:08:00

I move to C4 like a sissy. Wait, C4...
OHGODNO

Originally posted on 2015-11-19 05:18:00