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I open a gaping chasm full of lava under a battalion.

I appear on the battlefield, backed up by a squadron from the Engietech Field Force.

EFF squadron: 200000/200000 [10000 damage]

I then use Engietech Speedhacks to blur through a Minecraftian battalion.

Engietech: An all-purpose war shop that sells to whoever buys.
EFF: The frontline troops. Pretty much the Redshirt Army of Engietech.

Lightning strikes... No wait... Someone is spamming the red matter abilities on the wall, because every last one of the Minecraftians on the wall just got hit by lightning several hundred times. Yay hacking! (but you can't track down who did it...)

I explode the wall with nukes.

Quote from sigmatw

9/10

Quote from pionoplayer

This is: Be The Godmodder is it not? We are supposed to godmod, this is the only thread where godmodding has ANY chance of working. At all. Also, you forgot to take into account the fact that Jeb currently has -750000 hit points, the minimum amount of damage is 1000000, and even though he lost the death buff, he immediately regained it upon the end of the attack due to it being caused by being below 0 health. Lulz, you accepted my attack, found a loophole, then crashed into the wall.

Anyway... regular attack... Sounds sort of counterproductive for this thread, does it not?
I nuke one of the minecraft battalions.

Yes, you can godmod, I'm just saying normal attacks may actually do more damage.
Alright, Jeb dies again... but since your attack is already over, Notch revives him with 750,000hp.
He takes another 500,000 damage from your attack.

10,500 damage!

Quote from ka_doink1234o0

I open a gaping chasm full of lava under a battalion.

12,000 damage!

Quote from engie_ninja

I appear on the battlefield, backed up by a squadron from the Engietech Field Force.

EFF squadron: 200000/200000 [10000 damage]

I then use Engietech Speedhacks to blur through a Minecraftian battalion.

Engietech: An all-purpose war shop that sells to whoever buys.
EFF: The frontline troops. Pretty much the Redshirt Army of Engietech.

You finish a battalion.
Your EFF has been summoned.
The health is a bit high, but with how little damage it does, I'll let it go.

Quote from pionoplayer

Lightning strikes... No wait... Someone is spamming the red matter abilities on the wall, because every last one of the Minecraftians on the wall just got hit by lightning several hundred times. Yay hacking! (but you can't track down who did it...)

I explode the wall with nukes.

The wall? You mean the battalions, I presume

You successfully deal 5,000 damage to all battalions

The EFF and I attack a Minecraftian Battalion
All battalions deal 100,000 damage to the EFF.

THE Godmodder and Jeb. deciding that they are not actually achieving anything, make a temporary ceasefire with each other.

The Battlefield:
Minecraftian Battalion x3 [45,000/50,000hp] [25,000 damage]
Minecraftian Battalion x1 [25,000/50,000hp] [25,000 damage]
THE Godmodder [100,000 damage]
EFF Squadron [100,000/200,000hp] [10,000 damage]

Notch [1,000,000/1,000,000hp] [Observing]
Jeb [250,000/250,000hp] [100,000 damage] [In Backfield]

Godmodders:
MinecraftMenno [25,000/25,000hp]
Ninjatwist [25,000/25,000hp]
Pionoplayer [25,000/25,000hp]
Crusher [25,000/25,000hp]
Fseftr [25,000/25,000hp]
Duck [25,000/25,000hp]
TwinBuilder [25,000/25,000hp]
Sigma [25,000/25,000hp]
Ragno [25,000/25,000hp]
EndRPnT [25,000/25,000hp]
5l1n65h07 [25.000/25,000hp]

Joined. (flying in a saucer, armed with pulsed lasers and Railgun cannon(lethal damage), hp 30 000 + 70% damage less from all sources, two more saucers controlled by AI behind me with ability to repair, grab and re-build destroyed aircraft.)
Attack with Railgun on Minecraftian Battalion.
Charging the capacitors of lasers to 1/1, ready to fire next round
Charging the capacitors to Tesla Shield 1/5.

I freeze the weakest battalion in a sphere of ice.

Received news that reinforcements for my team arrives:
2x Groundcraft Carrier Saucer(with 20 men, all of them with miniguns)
3x New Technology Aircraft(cigar-shaped, probably fighters and ground-attack)
5x Ground Attack Bombers
3x Ship Strike Bomber
1x Groundcraft Carrier with Radar Truck
1x Microwave Gun
1x "Freezethrower" Liquid Nitrogen Cannon aircraft
2x "Thunder" Plasma cannon saucer aircraft
ETA after 2 turns

10/20 Egg Fleet

I blur into the middle of a Minecraftian battalion and deploy an Engietech Force-2 Shrapnel landmine. Because of the (somewhat) alien design, a good chunk of the battalion think they have nothing to fear, and are too close to it when it goes off.

*BOOM*

I watch and laugh as Minecraftians are torn limb-from-limb by lethal shards of obsidian, and then applaud as one particularly unfortunate one has both his arms torn off, starting with the hands and tearing 1-inch chunks off of him.

Quote from MinecraftSiegeEngineer

Joined. (flying in a saucer, armed with pulsed lasers and Railgun cannon(lethal damage), hp 30 000 + 70% damage less from all sources, two more saucers controlled by AI behind me with ability to repair, grab and re-build destroyed aircraft.)
Attack with Railgun on Minecraftian Battalion.
Charging the capacitors of lasers to 1/1, ready to fire next round
Charging the capacitors to Tesla Shield 1/5.

Yeah, that's a bit too much. I will give you your single spaceship though.

If I give you 70% less damage for everything, why not just have 100,000hp?
Instead, it will have 50,000hp, but only 25% resistance.

Also, you are charging the lasers but not the railgun. That...

It's one post! You really can't make it so complicated. I'm afraid I'll have to remove your lasers.
Though you can still choose to build a shield.

You may only charge one thing a post anyways, and the summon itself is one.

Your saucer will fire on the battalion.

Quote from ka_doink1234o0

I freeze the weakest battalion in a sphere of ice.

8,000 damage and freezing

Quote from MinecraftSiegeEngineer

Received news that reinforcements for my team arrives:
2x Groundcraft Carrier Saucer(with 20 men, all of them with miniguns)
3x New Technology Aircraft(cigar-shaped, probably fighters and ground-attack)
5x Ground Attack Bombers
3x Ship Strike Bomber
1x Groundcraft Carrier with Radar Truck
1x Microwave Gun
1x "Freezethrower" Liquid Nitrogen Cannon aircraft
2x "Thunder" Plasma cannon saucer aircraft
ETA after 2 turns

Seeing you spent one post on that... they will arrive in 5 updates.

Quote from sigmatw

10/20 Egg Fleet

Alright. I guess

Quote from Ampulugator

VS

The Minecraft Battalion

11,000 damage!

Quote from engie_ninja

I blur into the middle of a Minecraftian battalion and deploy an Engietech Force-2 Shrapnel landmine. Because of the (somewhat) alien design, a good chunk of the battalion think they have nothing to fear, and are too close to it when it goes off.

*BOOM*

I watch and laugh as Minecraftians are torn limb-from-limb by lethal shards of obsidian, and then applaud as one particularly unfortunate one has both his arms torn off, starting with the hands and tearing 1-inch chunks off of him.

The weakest battalion is eliminated!

Quote from Ampulugator

1/10 Antimaterial Sniper Turret

Okay.

All entities and being down another battalion.
The battalions deal 37,500 damage to the Saucer.

The battalions begin retreating to their front line!

The reinforcements fly along.

THE Godmodder heals the EFF by 100,000.
Jeb damages it by 100,000.
Err...

The Battlefield:
Minecraftian Battalion x2 [45,000/50,000hp] [25,000 damage] [Retreating|25% damage resistance,25% less damage|1 update away]
THE Godmodder [100,000 damage]
EFF Squadron [100,000/200,000hp] [10,000 damage]
Flying Saucer [12,500/50,000hp] [25% Resistance to Damage] [Railgun|25,000 damage]

Reinforcements in 4 updates

Notch [1,000,000/1,000,000hp] [Observing]
Jeb [250,000/250,000hp] [100,000 damage] [In Backfield]

Godmodders:
MinecraftMenno [25,000/25,000hp]
Ninjatwist [25,000/25,000hp]
Pionoplayer [25,000/25,000hp]
Crusher [25,000/25,000hp]
Fseftr [25,000/25,000hp]
Duck [25,000/25,000hp]
TwinBuilder [25,000/25,000hp]
Sigma [25,000/25,000hp]
Ragno [25,000/25,000hp]
EndRPnT [25,000/25,000hp]
5l1n65h07 [25,000/25,000hp]
MinecraftSiegeEngineer [25,000/25,000hp]
engie_ninja [25,000/25,000hp]

I blur ahead of the Minecraftian battalions, intending to cut them off. At that moment, the Engietech Speedhacks burn out.

"Dammit. I should have taken one of the premium ones..."

I look through my inventory for a different hack to use.

"Let's see, I have to wait for Speedhacks to repair. Hmm... Aimbot it is then."

engie_ninja added to Godmodders
+50% damage buff for 3 turns
+100% accuracy buff for 3 turns

I then turn to face the Minecraftian battalions and open fire with the Engietech Hydra rocket launcher. You're allowed 3 guesses to why it is called that, and the first 2 don't count.

11/50

I hit a random entity.

The Saucer uses Self Full Repair
Sending information to reinforcements:"Dammit, the battalion is too strong. Send me more shield and better power supply for my electrostatic engine"
Receiving news: "OK. I can't arrive because the weather's bad, wait 4 more turns. We also have another capacitor to increase power of your lasers and railgun. We could not carry replacement batteries but we are going to recharge you after we arrive"

I repeat my attack from earlier... here come's the infinity blade... with each and every buff... and then Notch loses internet connection. Completely. He can't even get on Minecraft. Heck, its so bad that his computer won't connect.
At Notch's house:
Notch: The flip just happened?!?!?!
*computer begins humming*
Notch: This had better not be the godmodder virus again...
*message pops up*
Notch: What the...
TROOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Notch DOES get his computer back on, but not before I kill jeb, then lock him in the desolated ruins of the godmodder's old server, forever trapped by the last shreds of the virus, not even Notch can save him anymore.

In the godmodder's server:
Jeb: Huh?
*looks around*
Jeb: Did pionoplayer hit me with his infinity sword again?
*looks again*
Jeb: Oh no. This place again.
Server: Jeb has attempted to log off, what a noob.
Jeb: What!?!??! I THOUGHT WE FINISHED THIS PLACE OFF!!!!!!
Server: Notch is attempting to hack the server, Notch has been repelled.
Jeb: Great, and now I can't do anything unless Notch can kill off all the godmodders. Great. At least I can minimize Minecraft to do other stuff.

I take a massive boot made of bedrock, and step on the portion of the minecraftian army that is furthest away, preventing them from escaping.

While the battalion's back is turned, I steal their energy cards out from under them, so they don't have enough energy to retreat and must battle until they faint or draw enough energy cards.

Quote from engie_ninja

I blur ahead of the Minecraftian battalions, intending to cut them off. At that moment, the Engietech Speedhacks burn out.

"Dammit. I should have taken one of the premium ones..."

I look through my inventory for a different hack to use.

"Let's see, I have to wait for Speedhacks to repair. Hmm... Aimbot it is then."

engie_ninja added to Godmodders
+50% damage buff for 3 turns
+100% accuracy buff for 3 turns

I then turn to face the Minecraftian battalions and open fire with the Engietech Hydra rocket launcher. You're allowed 3 guesses to why it is called that, and the first 2 don't count.

The rockets split in mid-air? Does that make any sense?

I assume you'd prefer more effect than length, so you can have those buffs for the update.
12,000 damage!

Quote from sigmatw

11/50

Areyou going to make up your mind what to summon?

Quote from ninjatwist321

I hit a random entity.

7,500 damage to the weaker battalion.

Quote from MinecraftSiegeEngineer

The Saucer uses Self Full Repair
Sending information to reinforcements:"Dammit, the battalion is too strong. Send me more shield and better power supply for my electrostatic engine"
Receiving news: "OK. I can't arrive because the weather's bad, wait 4 more turns. We also have another capacitor to increase power of your lasers and railgun. We could not carry replacement batteries but we are going to recharge you after we arrive"

The saucer will do as you say.
You know, you can attack too.

Quote from pionoplayer

I repeat my attack from earlier... here come's the infinity blade... with each and every buff... and then Notch loses internet connection. Completely. He can't even get on Minecraft. Heck, its so bad that his computer won't connect.
-SNIP-

I take a massive boot made of bedrock, and step on the portion of the minecraftian army that is furthest away, preventing them from escaping.

I don't know if this wasn't clear, but you are on Godcraft right now. Or an alternate timeline of it anyways.

So, you kill Jeb.
And revive him in The Godmodder's server.
Which is where you are right now.

8,500 damage to battalion.

Quote from ka_doink1234o0

While the battalion's back is turned, I steal their energy cards out from under them, so they don't have enough energy to retreat and must battle until they faint or draw enough energy cards.

One battalion stops retreating.

Quote from Ampulugator

3/10 Antimaterial sniper turret

(I used both posts for the research of this ancient weapon!)

Hmm...uhh..no.
I'll leave this one, but no more.

The flying saucer heals itself.
The EFF Squadron attacks the weaker battalion.

The Minecraft Battalion runs into the EFF and calls an airstrike onto their position.
Both entities destroyed.

The last battalion retreats to Jeb's front line.
Your forces look up into a massive stone brick wall.

Godmodder: Fear not! My war machines have arrived!

From the direction of your front line, rolls catapults and battering rams.
Then lightning comes out of the sky and takes out half of them.

Godmodder: Jeb!

The Battlefield:
Minecraftian Battalion [45,000/50,000hp]
Stone Brick Wall [500,000/500,000 damage]
Archer Tower x5 [25,000/25,000hp] [10,000 damage]
Wall Guards x250 [500/500hp] [250 damage]
Captain of The Guard [100,000/100,000hp] [50,000 damage]
THE Godmodder [100,000 damage]
Flying Saucer [50,000/50,000hp] [25% Resistance to Damage] [Railgun|25,000 damage]
Catapult x5 [25,000/25,000hp] [50,000 damage]
Battering Ram x5 [50,000/50,000hp] [50,000 damage to structures]

Reinforcements in 3 updates

Notch [1,000,000/1,000,000hp] [Observing]
Jeb [250,000/250,000hp] [100,000 damage] [In Backfield]

Godmodders:
MinecraftMenno [25,000/25,000hp]
Ninjatwist [25,000/25,000hp]
Pionoplayer [25,000/25,000hp]
Crusher [25,000/25,000hp]
Fseftr [25,000/25,000hp]
Duck [25,000/25,000hp]
TwinBuilder [25,000/25,000hp]
Sigma [25,000/25,000hp]
Ragno [25,000/25,000hp]
EndRPnT [25,000/25,000hp]
5l1n65h07 [25,000/25,000hp]
MinecraftSiegeEngineer [25,000/25,000hp]
engie_ninja [25,000/25,000hp]

I begin summoning a thunderstorm.
1/4

Precisely.

I grab out a modernized version of the Twin Hooks (kung fu monk guy weapon) to climb up to a vantage point, then, at the top, fire a signal flare upwards. A giant laser beam from SPESS then blasts Jeb in the face.

12/50