Minecraft Forums

I smile while signing the contract. I can feel the new power. It makes me... happy....

Holding the HHHH in the air, I scream "ALL ATTACKERS OF MINECRAFTIA SHALL MEET THE FATE OF THE GREAT DRAGON OF THE END!!!! ALL SHALL BE SLICED, DICED, AND DESTROYED WITH THE BRUTALITY OF 1000 YEARS OF WAR!!!!!!!!!!!

BINARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SMITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And with that, I throw the HHHH into Binary's eye. It comes back afterwards.

Nice, now let a master of darkness do this: I get a giant wolf and make it bight Binary's eye.

Piono, I know Hank is dead and the Shard is elsewhere. I was responding to your much earlier post.

I give Bill a hand. Left hanging too long.

I throw an 8-Ball at Binary and sign the Contract. Caledball: 5/11.

Demise Lance && Sopor Slime = Death's Narcotic (Level 7: 2/8)

> R. K.: Using the Broken Halo!

> K4yne: Ka- me... ha-me.... PSYCHE! Spirit Bomb at Project Binary.

---
Strange No Joke

UBER Variations: Uber, Kritz, Wither, Mmmph, Joker Gas
Charges:1

>Alchemies
Toxicide 3/11
M134 Heatfreezer complete
M134 Minigun && Floppy Disk containing Arcticbomb virus = ??? (1/?)

>Action
I sign the Healing Contract.

>AI Action
01: WELL. THIS IS WEIRD.
03: B1nary seems to be quite tough. Hmm...
02: No problem for my ROFL-47!
02/> CHANNEL THE POWER OF TEXT-TO-SPEECH WARFARE!

Scottyvich Baloneykov appears along with the Supreme AI. The Supreme AI immediately challenges Binary to a hacking duel. Binary wins, but not before sustaining a few hits. AT88TV appears and fires his EAS Tones Cannon at Binary, damaging his sound inputs due to how loud the EAS Tones are. The AIs' player charracter, in the form of Microsoft Sam (02 uses Sam for his voice now), rises into the air and glows. A roflcopter appears around him along with the crew of Roflcopter Squad. They fire OMGmissiles at Binary, damaging his brain. The Orbital Rofl Laser moves into position and successfully fires upon Binary, dealing damage! Radar Overseer Scotty then drops a baloney sandwich onto Binary, causing his systems to go haywire! Tsiklon hacks into Binary's system and unleashes his trojan on Binary, forcing Binary under his control! The Communist Linux Penguin Army appears to redeem themselves after the loss of the Supreme AI and fires upon Binary!

Sam's Roflcopter transforms into an OMGjet! Sam jumps off the jet and fires onto Binary with his ROFL-47. The jet takes off through the void, to Planet Soiturranna! Emperor Soiturn joins the fight against Project Binary! Everyone in a TTS series but the NSA Agent is in on this, even Jokermingo0044 and the Devil's Hell Star! Finally, they return to Elsewhere and begin assaulting Project Binary! Sam uses his ROFL-47 and his tactical warfare skills! Mike just talks like a lady, damaging Binary's hearing systems further! The Supreme Mainframe, the revived Supreme AI and Tsiklon hack Binary and delete all his files! Satan and the Devil's Hell Star roast Binary over the flames of the planet Hell! Jokermingo0044 and Juniormingo0088 command the Horribly Deformed Midget Pig Monkeys with Automatic Firearms to assault Binary! Even Natural Microsoft Sam has abandoned his quest to kill Speakonia Sam to defeat Project Binary! Everyone is pitching in their best effort in the name of IWAY Cookies!

Finally, the TTS characters combine into one text-to-speech master: ULTIMATE SPEAKONIAN! The power of Speakonia shines through and the righteous power of text-to-speech reigns! Every TTS virus ever is deployed - the Really Sucky Virus, the Really Nooby Virus, the Mega Gangnam Virus, Tsiklon's trojan, the Moving Victoria Virus, every TTS virus - onto Project Binary's system. Not even his system can stop the onslaught of fictional yet ridiculously powerful malware. Sam finishes off with a gun salute from him and the TTS crew, with all their ROFL-47s, ROFL-60s, OMG-40s, LMAO4 carbines, every gun in their possession, even weapons that aren't guns like the Diarrhea Death Star Supreme Excrement Edition and the rebuilt Orbital Rofl Laser! They fire all at once, and all the bullets and lasers impact Project Binary! The TTS crew fade away, leaving Sam by himself. He fades back into the standard player character.

02: That was epic! Too bad I can't do that again...

>Author's Note
Remember how I said Cobalt installed voices for the AIs while his player character was dead? Well, 02 is voiced by Microsoft Sam. This attack is a giant reference to the Microsoft Sam Reads Funny Windows Errors videos on YouTube, of which there are several series, and the TTS war series by the same channels.

{THAT LIFE BAR IS STILL HUGE. ALTHOUGH NOW IT'S ONLY 500 MILLION INSTEAD OF A BILLION. I THINK. DOES A MILLION HAVE 6 ZEROES AFTER IT OR 9? NO MATTER. THAT'S STILL A LIFE BAR THAT CAN BE SHREDDED. NOW THEN, THE FEZ... I CAN FEEL IT FORCING BACK THE OP SCALE SLIGHTLY... HMM...}

???: Yay, safetext is no longer important! I suddenly blip out of existence. Sort of. Anyone paying close attention to me would have noticed the very faint mist rising up and expanding into a huge thin cloud... Then the cloud solidifies back into existence, a gigantic crystalline/metallic gray THING dwarfing the entire battlefield, physically tearing apart an unfortunate strand of glitch.

{THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!}

The THING shifts in shape, growing even larger, dominating the surrounding void with size, a blinding aura of light shining off of every surface. A tiny bit of aura scrapes against the edge of the little platform that everyone is standing on, causing a miniature earthquake and splitting it in half. In case you are completely braindead, the THING I've been referring to is myself. I know, shocking. Anyway, with that little display of SLIGHTLY LESS LIMITED POWER out of the way, a metal tendril, glowing with the same aura as the rest of me, explodes outwards and forms itself into an obscenely large crab claw, which I use to smack Binary with near-unrivaled force, then tear a chunk out of his eye. After quickly downloading the code of the chunk to save the code manipulation powers for a side project, I crush the chunk into pieces and eat it, forming an eye of my own that looks more like a massive camera lens. (The question is, how utterly horrifying can I make my character be at some point in time? The answer... well, this isn't a practical problem. Something horrifying to one person can be boringly mundane to another.)

{YOU TASTE HORRIBLE, BINARY! BUT I'LL STILL PROBABLY END UP EATING YOU AT SOME POINT! JUST THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW THAT! EVEN THOUGH IF I HAD ACCESS TO ALL OF MY POWER, I'D PROBABLY HAVE EATEN PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY HERE ALREADY ANYWAY! EVEN THE DEAD ONES! AND THE ALIVE ONES! WHY DO I FEEL LIKE A DUCK IS WATCHING ME?}

The bot medics still on the battlefield continue healing each other, paying little to no attention to anyone at all, excluding occasionally turning to look at anyone who stares at them. Ribs Grow Back and Companion Cube even get a little conversation going consisting of Medic voice clips.

Real World: The duck flies back over to perch on Twin's shoulder, watching whatever it is he does at the update terminal with what seems to be interest. Is there, like, a screen there that displays wherever the players are fighting at or some weird gear like that? Also, the duck is an actual character now. Why? Well, why not.

Mainframe: Entity body at 5% complete. Stage 1 at 4% complete. Project Manhattan at 0% complete. Better prepare for that last 20% of stage 1. Where can I find a life force strong enough to cope with all of this? Okay, copying binarypower.pwr onto a safe disk... Don't want to download that directly, have to scrub it to remove any trace of Binary's personality. If this thing went berserk upon waking up, that would be an utter disaster!

HAIL THE FEZ

Aww, come on! That Genuine Killstreak AWPerhand cost me a good ten dollars!

Also, I guess there is no safe post, but if there is, I'll change it.

As well, understood.

Action 1/3

Elemental Retribution: 48/50

Orbit Control: 23/50

I, aiming long and hard, shoot Project Binary/The Glitch in one of its most vulnerable spots from across the map using my Genuine Killstreak AWPer Hand.

I then close in on The Glitch/Project Binary, order a Jarate Airstrike on it, then send two thousand Level 20 8/8 assassins with the Bushwhacka out to strike it.

The Assassins then slice The Glitch/Project Binary into fine slices with their Bushwhackas, before I quickscope it in one of its weak spots using the Genuine Killstreak AWPer hand. Then, I call upon the assassins to leave and make haste to Oryx's Castle.

I then proceed to unload my next 23 shots into Project Binary/The Glitch using the Genuine Killstreak AWPer Hand once the assassins leave.

Ah, good, assassins. May we plot upon the Godmodder and get my wine back!

Oryx, please stop Attack! Attack! Attack!-ing. We need to focus on the Glitch.

But, my wine!

I have some more in my cellar. Don't you worry.

Also, K4yne, I'd like to suggest another Overcharge for you to use. I call it "Rage", using it knocks back foes and disrupts their attacks. I was inspired by the Heavy's Rage upgrade from Man versus Machine, so use it well, such as when the enemy is acting aggressively.

Sword Damage: 99K/250K

I swear, the amount of combos organized via PM that I am not informed of are mind-boggling.

Preparation 19/50

Magic Cueball 8/11

So, shall we begin the healing process?

In any case, I proceed to activate the White Ring. As appears to be the case with all of my other weapons, it is supercharged with the energy of creation. Momentarily, the runes upon the active device glow a golden color. Instead, the ring ejects flowing Tengwar script, all colored gold. The stuff spins, twirls, and weaves through reality, avoiding any passersby. It finally comes to a stop around Binary, orbiting it in a ring, of sorts. It finally comes to a stop. Immediately, the ring of script glows a bright, shiny gold, and compresses in on itself, diving into Binary. This compression releases a large amount of pure creation energy in a destructive blast that will assuredly damage it. Next, I proceed to deactivate the ring, and draw the Hazel Wand. I arc the wand down in a northeasterly path, pointing it at Binary all the while, directly after commenting on how asinine Binary is. I mutter some sort of incantation, appearing to be derived from the maddened whispers of one capable of speaking in the elder tongue. Nothing appears to occur for several seconds. Then, a monolithic blast of Nightmare Fuel erupts from the wand tip, spinning and weaving about, until it resembles a gigantic Binary. With a slight twist of the Wand, a violet spark ignites within the theoretical mirror image. Immediately, the mirror image crashes directly into Binary. The nanosecond it does so, an unfathomably gigantic explosion of violet flames four times the strength of a nuclear bomb (with far less radiation) expands from the center of the Nightmare Fuel Binary, directly next to the other Binary. Flux Gas seeps from the point, displaying the total amount of instability that action generated. Violet flames still linger upon Binary, melting his form. I de-equip the Hazel Wand, pulling out an Arcane Singularity as a new method of damaging. I supercharge this Singularity with pure creation energy, and then throw the unstable orb at Binary's eye. Unfortunately, I miss my direct mark. However, this is not a matter of concern. The orb bounces off of Binary, and begins to shudder with arcane power in some sort of reaction. Aubergine rays of light begin to leak off of the direct center of the fused Nitor and Alumentum, moving in reaction with the shuddering. Then, a moment later, there is an explosion of considerably less power than the one caused by igniting Nightmare Fuel with the flames of shadow, but still a considerable explosion nonetheless. The modified Singularity begins to exude pure creation energy in a way that harms Binary immensely. Every being that does not have a method of flight (this rule does not include Binary, as he will be harmed regardless) is slowly dragged towards the center point of the explosion, which is capable of tearing apart matter and code alike, and fusing them together to form new things. Multiple waves of arcane power radiate from the detonation point, violently exploding when they reach Binary. The gravitational pull of the orb grows infinitely stronger suddenly. Just as the players who do not have methods of flight are about to be dragged in, an explosion of creation energy occurs. When the clouds of smoke from the singularity subside, there appears to be no Singularity, as it evaporated into pure damage, latching onto Binary.

Antimatter Missile Station: 9/10

Midna DNA Seqencing: 19/20

Midna Ectobiology Report: 19/20

Nanomag Glober: 5/9

iAntimak x6 Duplication: 4/5

==Actions==

Lothyra uses the first duplicated instance of the Origin Wands (that she created last post) to create a very large antimatter engine to act as a booster. She then shoots Binary with iAntimak (augmented by the crit potion). Bender also shoots Binary with his gun (he should also be under the effects of the crit potion).

I whip out my SUPERCHARGED Forge's Light and use SQUARE ROOT: LEVEL 10: EXPONENTIAL, on Project Binary. I make sure to aim very, very, very, very very very VERY carefully.



I also suggest that we change the wording of Bill's contract so that he can't do actions that INDIRECTLY affect the war either/

Orbital Weapons
Mini- Ion Cannon 0/2
Mini-Bio Annihilator 4/4

5/5 For Healing or Building Mechanical Unit
5/5 for Text Based Magic

Battlefield: I look into the future to see who's supposed to die next, and give that player a focus sash.
Orbital Weapons: Mini IC Binary
Partial Inventory: Critmist II x10, Potion of Magic, Ultramarine, Advanced Warfare, Gib Tsunami

I duplicate 1 potion of critmists.
Advanced Warfare > Fine 6/11
Gib Tsunami > Fine 6/11

I toss tazz another 10 critmists

I send Project Binary to the moon, where she gets nuked from orbit with nukes the size of the moon she's on. This blows her straight back onto the battlefield, smashing right into the painful spiky debris left by someone else's attack.

HUZZAH! NO MORE SAFETEXT!

*Cough*

I stare at my weapons, now glowing with the golden fire of Creation, then raise my right arm... It remains cold silver, unaffected and lightless... Damn.



All charges progress!

I stick the Void's Rogue into the ground, a sproutling from the Ruin Seed in its hilt sending strange, brassy tendrils outwards... I tear the sword back out, leaving a living incarnation of Ruin to grow and kill! {This is not an entity, just an unusual attack}

I use COMBAT OPERANDI: CHERNOBYL II on Binary!

I can finally put stuff back up here!

Attacks: 40/50 + 3/50

I dash forward and uppercut Binary with At No Expense.

=-=-=-=Wilson=-=-=-= (You can buy healing and other supplies here)
Alchemy Emporium: The number in parentheses is the number of times you need to assist Laiko's charges in order to buy it. Current status: open _ Total wealth = 60$ _ Wilson's charges A: 9/50, B: 15/50 --------- Items: Potion of (super?) rejuvenation x2 (2$) <|> Splash Nightshade potion x2 (4$) <|> Potion of Magic x2 (2$) <|> Splash potion of frostbite x2 (3$) <|> Potion of (holy) Wrath x2 (3$) <|> Extended potion of cuts x2 (3$) <|> Potion of Nectar x2 (2$ Healing Potions here!!!!) <|> Splash potion of Critmist II x14 (2$) <|> Splash Venom Potion x3 (3$) <|> Splash potion of chills x2 (4$) <|> Potion of Ambrosa x3 (2$) <|> Nectar cake x2 (3$) <|> Woolen Bandage x3 (1$) <|> Potion of Vis x2 (2$) <|> Potion of Strength x2 (1$) <|> Potion of dreams x1 <|> Potion of Potential x1

Awkward Potion OOO Golden Carrot = Potion of Night Vision done
Awkward Potion OOO Lens = Potion of magnification done
Potion of Night Vision O0O Potion of magnification = Potion of ??? ⅓

Well, depending on how you look at it, Wilson is either the richest or the poorest character I know of. I just thought it was kind of funny.

Well... good luck with the healing. And... uh... sorry about the whole trying to disintegrate you thing...

I regain my robe, then use the PENUMBRA PHANTASM to turn the shadows around and on Binary in to chainsaws. Results are predictable.

Grabbing Binary, i suplex him into tomorrow! (Not literally of course!)

As the golden rain falls, something is... off, about Hank.
It doesn't seem to be affecting him, the rain slides off his body, rather than absorbing into it.
And he's still dead.
The red lightning continues to crackle around him though... and it flashes every time on of the golden drops comes close to him.
It doesn't shy away like the Glitch, but whatever it is, it still doesn't like the Fez energy.

Either way, you guys need to revive Hank now.
Revival actions: 0/3
(being creative enough might count for more than 1 though)

=TURN ONE=

=CHARGE=
-4 / 50- Dragoon
+2 to Modpack

=ACTION=
Using some FEZ-POWER, I create some Energy Chairs above Binary, then proceed to ninja-jump on them, until I'm on top of Binary.
I then create a GIANT GOLDEN ENERGY CHAIR and jump-stab Binary with it.

I do a strange tribal dance around Hank. Then I DISCO Binary. (What? You said ALL attacks were super powerful!)

I juggle 25 books. This distracts Binary long enough for me to punch his eye.

ORBITAL DIVEKICK PART WHO-KNOWS-HOW-MANY > MORE DAKKA

I duplicate the reserved pair of active Origin Wands for three sets of two more. That ought to hold out....

I then summon armament comparable to the fleetmind, UNS, Oafan, and in fact any other forces in the Schlockiverse, attached to the Orbital Divekick, powered, and firing at Binary.

For my next trick, I attach Ars Magicka Casters to every single surface and outfit them with a ludicrously overpowered spell of DOOOOOOM, and appropriate supplies for maintaining their fire all the way down to impact.. They are mounted so that they hit Binary.

For my final trick, I summon Oisri, the planetoid that creates dark-matter creatures, in the state it would have been had Redhack not been activated, and yet the planet was evacuated. I tether it to the Orbital Divekick and activate it from a distance. 1/2

/nullsinceIdon'twanttowasteposts
I... suppose that works?
Anyway, Hank's at 1/3

Incidentally, my internet is doing quite a thing. Wow. ... DAMMIT PAGE FINISH LOADING! ... no? ok ... bye page! see ya

/null