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Pretty Pretty, Shiny Shiny: 15/25 ========================= (+1 from Tazz)
A Tactical Genius: 21/50 ================================================== (+1 from Tazz, +2 from generic)
+2 to Crystal
Barkley's entourage was wiped out, and now was the perfect chance to attack! The Empowered Gargoyle Staff glowed with maroon energy, matching that of Bomber's chat color. It began to spray a beam of energy into the air, which quickly began to draw an outline in the air. The dark maroon lines were like a stained glass window, distorting the world's true color if looked through. The outline continued to form, until it finally was done drawing. The space between the lines filled in, forming a three-dimensional shape made out of energy. A large greatsword made of the dark powers within the Empowered Gargoyle Staff floated in the air menacingly.
It danced left and right, oddly agile for such a bulky sword. It then suddenly lurched forward and sliced Barkley with great force, hitting him in the side of his torso hard. The sword didn't stop its momentum, cutting straight through him. The sword kept its momentum going, swinging around and into an upward position. The greatsword's immense weight crashed down on Barkley's right shoulder, shattering the bone and cutting right through him. The dark energies left a horrible stinging pain, and like a twisted knife would leave wounds that would never fully heal.
The sword's form became blurry and started to dissipate, before all of its energy wisps flew back into the Empowered Gargoyle Staff that gave birth to it.
The muttering of the Blue Horrors continued, as they fired their unpredictable volley of Flickering Fire at Barkley, lighting him aflame in a hauntingly beautiful display of blue and purple fire. His skin crackled as he burned, but the fire began to do something very odd. Similar to what the Bolt of Change did to Hoopz, Barkley too began to change, though to a lesser extent. His skin turned into wood before burning away into ash. It then dribbled off in a waterfall of corrosive acid before becoming a pile of skin again on the ground. Eyes would grow and seal shut once more, rending and tearing his skin apart in their presence. The fire soon went out, leaving Barkley in a ruined state. He would never be the same again. A smile tugged at the corners of one of the Blue Horrors' lips, but it was very faint.
Valeera suddenly finds herself burning in a lake of eternal eternity. Eternity is very hot, because it has an n in it, and the name Norman starts with n. Norman is your father in RS/ORAS, and that's the games with Team Magma. Yeah, so eternity is very hot. Valeera is burnt. Yeah.
A Tactical Genius: 22/50 ==================================================
+2 to Crystal
Bomber decided to stay true to his name and pulled out a bomb. It looked very peculiar, seeming to be "growing" clusters of other bombs out of it. Though, he wasn't just going to throw a little bomb like this at Barkley. No, it had to be good. It had to be amazing.
He held the bomb over his head and began to channel energy into it. It began to grow in size, becoming nearly four times, then eight times as large as it was. It seemed impossible that Bomber could hold it, lest move it. But, as skillful as ever, he managed to toss it right at Barkley, the massive bomb soaring through the air.
It crashed into him and exploded violently. The big bomb spewed out many smaller (yet still huge) bombs that also exploded on Barkley. It was a typhoon of destruction as the cluster of explosions came to an end. The field was covered in smoke, smelling of hot brimstone. Bomber loved this sort of thing, taking a whiff of the air.
Essentially an ice-and-stone version of the Paerotheum Bullets. It hits with the force of a landslide and is said to freeze water and similar substances instantly.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
JECMQQUWS EMKMTTAP; BEM HTOSMZG GH DZWJ UMVAEQLV SPD DWZQWVAW PXDGE WTTI JDQOX IKL OJEY BEM VCRVMPB DKGSB XXHGACA JWJVAWA TQDN GZ UXL XTOX BEMAT FPIOA
OK, I am aware of these missed post things and how absolutely annoying they are, but considering the last update was 62 posts (lets be clear, that's the highest thus far) and had to be separated into two, well...If your post isn't counted, you can repeat your attacks and continue your charges as usual.
Attack that got left to the wayside last turn, unfocused. (Next attack is the focused one)
43/50 Dark Bowser (+1 from Dark, +1 from Tazz)
4/50 Charging something! Get ready to pray! (Yes, I know what I’m charging. Guess!) (+1 from Tazz_)
+2 Pit
Lens of Truth && Spoon Bender (Binding of Isaac) 3/?? (Still need a comment on the charge length and output)
"What was that you said, Uzi?when you have a 100% winrate, that's NOT n00bishness, that's not suicidal overconfidnece, that's FACT.
Well, one of us is going to end our streak. Though I've had help when my enemies also had it, I've never lost a straight up duel with no powers (I include the Veil in powers). I've dealt with those who've received Diaboli Ex Machina to help them beat me. They still lose. In short, this isn't going to be easy for either of us, so I'd appreciate you start taking us seriously.
Oh well. Situation Normal: Gorilla'd up beyond all recognition."
Also, Richard may be a bit of an idiot, way too scared of a certain musical instrument, and may be a massive troll, but at least he can spell correctly! I'm almost certain Tazz doesn't have the red lines under the words that are misspelled.
Attack 4: The Video Game Diner
I order everything on this menu for Charles Barkley to eat. Unfortunately, this version of the Video Game Diner runs on real world logic, and gives him massive food poisoning, instead of its normal in game effect.
I take a number of players to the Video Game Diner where everything tastes delicious, as well. I'm a good caterer, what can I say! (Note: These are players, not entities, this isn't going to heal. I'm just being nice)
Appetizers:
Toad in the ____ (Banjo-Tooie)
Grilled Fuzzy (Touch Fuzzy, get Dizzy!/Yoshi’s Island)
Salad of Evil with Rage Dressing (Partners in Time)
Bad Movie Tie-in Soup (So many things, but E.T. was the first)
Clams dipped in Grunt Blood (HALO)
Rushed Game Chili Dogs (SEGA WHEN WILL YOU LEARN/Sonic)
Turkey Leg embedded in Dracula’s Castle Wall (Castlevania)
Sandvich, with optional Mustard of your Doom (TF2+Superstar Saga)
Fried Goldeen (Really?)
Military Rations, with physics defying battery-restoring mushrooms (MGS)
Laser-Baked Chicken (Duck Game)
Millenia-old Fruit for literal days (Pikmin)
Portal to the Meat Dimension (Persona 4)
Yeto’s Soup, Eat it all for a free meal! (Twilight Princess)
Dessert:
The Cake, made to Blue Personality Core recipe (Again, REALLY?)
Lava Cookie (Pokemon, again)
Moogle Pie (Final Fantasy)
Couple’s Cake, made from cooking two bunnies together (Super Paper Mario)
Roast Whacka Bump (Paper Mario, again)
Chunko-Honey Candy Bar (Deus Ex)
Invincibility Lollipops (Guaranteed to cause a sugar rush/Kirby)
"Free" Candy (Candy Crush)
Golden Banana Split (Donkey Kong)
Floor Ice Cream (Kid Icarus)
Doc Louis' Chocolate Bar (Nintendo and the Video Game Diner are not responsible for any damage caused by Doc Louis taking revenge for his Chocolate Bar/Punchout!!)
Drinks:
Grandma’s Homemade Elixer (Wind Waker)
Fus Ro Mead (And, say it with me, REALLY???!?!?!?!?)
Health Potion (So many things)
“Love” Potion (Sims)
Bucket o’ Milk (Minecraft)
I don't know what it is, but the alcohol level is waaaaaay too high for beer (GTA V)
30,000 damage to Barkley!...Focused attacks mean that's your only action in a turn, mind.
Anti-Unoriginality Turret 21/50 (+1 from Tazz)
Hypocrisy counter since charge 15: 1 ===PLOT=== -SNIPPED FOR LENGTH REASONS- ===END PLOT=== Pokefan is asleep and does nothing.
You hear whispering...And you realize that's not JUST the little thing you have. From beneath the earth, you hear something equally odd, though it says something different...And at this distance, illegible.
You never countered my action? Was that an oversight, or can I just not do actions and expend charges at the same time?
==Action==
I summon the band Europe, who promptly sues King Bomb-Omb for copyright issues. In the court, King Bomb-Omb is so nervous all he can say is "BOMB". After a few hours of this, the judge who is a Hammer Bro gets tired of it and throws his hammer at King Bomb-Omb, and declares him guilty. Europe receives their $100,000,000,000,000 for winning. King Bomb-Omb suddenly realizes the hammer was quite sharp and left a possibly lethal gash in his head, so he heads to the hospital. However, he cannot pay the hospital bill, and is promptly taken to jail for "stealing treatment" for 20 years. The hardened thugs in jail deliver a hard beatdown to King Bomb-Omb over the course of 20 years. When he gets out, he is enraged at Europe for doing this to him, and under further research, he discovers that they're not even from Europe! He then sues them for false advertising, but when he gets to court, he discovers they changed their name to "Sweeden"! They are declared innocent, and King Bomb-Omb has to pay $1000000000! When he gets to the bank, he finds out that he owes OVER 9000 dollars! He has to sell his house, crown, mustache, and children to pay the debt. Then he is so sad from the loss of his glorious mustache that he jumps off a cliff. Oh yeah, I also punch the Uncreativity Monster.
==Alchemies==
Super Unfair Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad && Mario 64 = Super Unfair Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad 64 (level 5: 3/6)
The Nonexistent 9/50 (+2 from Tazz, +1 from Talist) Again, it would be appreciated if someone helped make this a boss.
Book of Instant Summons (Blank) 5/50 (+2 From Tazz)
Zineous will divert the bomb battlefury threw at Barkley before it could get in the hoop. He then continues to sprint off the field, hopefully avoiding Superpowered Star's attack. Ah, I love editing posts.
You can expend charges at the same time. That was just an oversight, as said above.
16,000 damage to King Bob-Omb! +4,000 HP to the Uncreativity Monster!
Blood-stained Blutsauger && Vampire Knifes && Greater Essence of Life Drain && Spirit of Bloodlust && Blood-stained UserZero Tag && Fruit from the tree of Death= ???? 1/? (Almost certainly overleveled. Mostly just messing around.)
i drop a large bomb into the hoop.
Factory of stuff 12/25
Entity: The Uncreativity Monster replaces the weakest entity guarding the Hoop, unless the Entity's summoner wish's otherwise.
Monkey Ace: 9/20
2+ to cyangynist
Blood-stained Blutsauger && Vampire Knifes && Greater Essence of Life Drain && Spirit of Bloodlust && Blood-stained UserZero Tag && Fruit from the tree of Death= Death unto Life (Level 300: 1/301)
UserZero happily creates this interesting weapon for her own purposes via console commands and admin commands and godmodding and other such things.
... Indigo Flames && Crystal Ball = The Mindwalker (1/5)
Olimar's Whistle >Fine 2/?
+2 Bomber
Welp, today's a nice day. I casually pull out a stick of nougat, Honestly, I'm not sure why I did so. It appears to just be a standard stick of nougat, no special properties whatsoever. Well. I've damaged gods with less. And this is no ordinary nougat, as you'd know. It's a specially enchanted nougat, made to have properties that make it a perfect conduit for the energies of Dimension 953. ...I shove it down Barkley's throat, and flip through a dictionary.
Golem: Let's see... "Magniloquent"...
Golem: "Carrot-lycanthropes." Wait, shouldn't that count as a compound word? Whatever, I'll count it.
Suddenly, some shambling abominations appear. I gasp in horror, as... A bunch of wolves made of carrots flop dead on the ground. I guess carrots and wolves kind of have incompatible biology. Shouldn't magic explain everything away?? Hm. Oh well. I slap Barkley with their corpses, then run away cackling. Barkley sighs in relief, since I've clearly exhausted all of my creativity. He then hears an odd howl coming from right beneath him. Suddenly, the carrot-lycanthropes revert to their original forms... as incredibly posh British people. The Brits immediately begin assaulting Charles Barkley with their incredibly esoteric vocabulary, causing him to have an aneurysm.
SCP-109 && Reinforced Hose && High-Pressure Pump = Pump Them Up (3/5)
Quartz Rose && Your Eternal Reward = Medusa's Garden (2/6)
Charges
Project M06-Internationalization (24/50) (+2 from Tazz)
Project M07-The Phonetician (6/50) (+2 from Tazz)
+2 to Irecreeper
Action
Trapped between a giant bob-omb and a basketballing Gatekeeper, I decide the option to take is to make both perform a highly dangerous dance routine to the tune of EZFG's Cyber Thunder Cider with rewritten lyrics. (Hey, I have to rewrite these lyrics or the attacks won't do anything!)
I pull out SCP-4517-DTG and spin them around before locking them onto Charles Barkley and King Bob-omb. I wave them around as if conducting an orchestra and the music begins to play.
Barkley and King Bob-omb begin punching each other instead of dancing. It turns out that by "dance routine" I meant "entirely scripted fight". They continue fighting as the music continues. SONG SELECT: CYBER THUNDER CIDER
It's there, probably there, it'll be there if you go into the vault there.Half-Life 3, hidden inside, inside Gabe Newell's office vault.Find it now, just find it, the holy game that we're waiting for right now,Rush in and capture it, rush in and capture it, and use your imagination,I open the case and what do I find inside?After all this work to procure Half-Life 3... Gabe couldn't keep its existence a secret after all,and the game never really was meant to be played,but I'm getting tired of all the spam about it anyway,and I'm getting bored of all the jokes about it anyway,But I probably shouldn't have done that at all,and now I'm trapped in an endless loop of suffering,Who can I blame? It was all your fault, it was all my fault,cyber thunder cider
Walker: level 1, 466000 damage (Warning - leveling up soon)
Best Pun Ever: 24/50 (+1 from Tazz)
Haven't You Got Slams In Your Jam: 17/25 (+2 from Fseftr, +2 from UserZero)
+2 to Fseftr
Walker decides to try abusing the minicrits granted by Barkley's awe-inspiring presence by pulling out a Bushwacka. His eyes scan the rather carefully-crafted blade, admiring the sharpness and fine edge, before he dashes at the Blue Horrors, minicrit aura shining brightly. If the Blue Horrors have bowels, those are promptly evacuated, then just as promptly eviscerated by the possibly insane animatronic swordsman tearing at them. His maniac grin is thankfully obscured by the mask that he hasn't once yet taken off, even as he picks up one of the Blue Horrors and bites it in half, spitting it out in disgust at the fact that it's not blueberry jelly. Ah, if only it had been blueberry jelly... he'd had many moments as a prototype model, enjoying the flavor of blueberry jelly when nobody was looking. Of course, most of the time, it ended up with maintenance engineers doing minute repairs on the corrosive damage natural to all blueberry flavored jelly, but it was so worth it. Maybe. He's then rudely shaken back to reality by having accidentally crushed a Blue Horror underfoot. It's sticky, and won't be removed from his feet/shoes/whatever, so he scrapes it off with the Bushwacka, leaving multiple quivering piles of unrecognizable blue mess scattered around the place as he trudges back to his place on UserZero's side of the battlefield... before suddenly turning and hurling the Bushwacka point-first through the face of The Captain without any warning or foreshadowing. Admittedly, once it leaves his hand, the Bushwacka stops being minicrit boosted, and so probably won't do all that much damage to The Captain, but it'll hurt nonetheless. It's a gigantic sharp bowie knife to the face, waddaya THINK would happen? And no, before you even think of saying that, NO, The Captain would NOT receive free hamburgers and a segway trip to the 22nd of november. We aren't dealing with Kalare- oh, no, wait, Erelye- oh, no, wait, someone else who I've forgotten the name of's abstraction levels. We're dealing with REALITY here. Well, about as real as DTG can get, what with the insanity of the entire game as a whole. Let's see, there's giant robot hackers fighting alien space dragons fighting wizards fighting... whatever the hell some of us are meant to be. In any other fandom, aside from maybe the Homestuck fandom, that would be called either a mess or a trollfic, depending on who you ask. I for one would choose to ask someone with as little bias as possible... perhaps an atheist? Some of them happen to be fairly level-headed, aside from any of the ones that frequent common social media like Twitter, Facebook, and all those other ones. I mean, there's the occasional one that's downright impossible to fool, especially if the bible's involved! But hey, that thing's a 2000+ year old book, and for some reason, people still religiously believe in it. Damn zealots. Utterly ruined my Shivering Isles experience, with their charging at me, flinging lightning spells. Those things burn through Magicka like you wouldn't believe, which is a pain when damn near all the high tier spells basically make you god in exchange for eating your entire reservoir. Particularly if you have the Atronach starsign, then you have to get hit by spells in order to not run out of magicka all the time. Which sucks. On the bright side, 50% absorbation chance makes you pretty much the bane of necromancers everywhere, since their main tactic is to spam magic at you until you die. Who knows what happens to you after you die? Maybe you become a zombie. If I became a zombie, I'd rather like to become a Revenant type, those tend to be rather powerful and retain most of their intelligence. Not that intelligence is all that useful for a Barbarian build path, but hey, it can work sometimes, especially if your GM makes it so that quarterstaff skill scales with intelligence, meaning that rolling a 5 instantly kills the enemy goblin. Maybe oneshotting goblins isn't impressive to you... how about the fact that a roll of 6 would have qualified that attack for Critical Hit status? Speaking of critical hits, there's this one weapon in Team Fortress 2, the Bushwacka, that gives you fully-fledged critical hits if you land a hit on someone while buffed with minicrits. It's arguably a very powerful weapon in the right hands, and as a sidenote, is the same knife that Walker just used to slice a bunch of Blue Horrors to death. And we've come full circle. Feel free to applaud. It took me a while to type this out.
.
Yeah no way this isn't going to hurt. 5 Blue Horrors murdered, and 3 damage to the Captain!
Is it odd that, once I sort that all out, that I agree with 90% of that?
Fuse them to the Lava Moble (Hidden to the badest godmodder that I have Curent Goku in one and The Big Rig in the other)
0/10 Fusing them to the Lavamoble making it the Lava Rigku
0/10 Summoning some of my summoing powers
You do realize that the reason why people only raise their charges by one is usually because the charge is as strong for how LONG you charged it for. The values are effectively meaningless beyond keeping track. That, and one of those posts was nulled, which means this is 2 3-post charges in total.
Well, the Hunter-Chopper's down... I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, though.
Suppression Turrets: 19/20
Leviathan: 9/30
What's the maximum level an alchemy can go at this point?
While i await an answer, I take out two Dual-Pronged Swords and enchant them with an unsafe incantation that will dramatically increase my attacking speed and fury. I then charge after Charles Barkley with incredible speed, leaving a trail at my feet! Before he can react, I jump on him with the Dual-Pronged Swords and unleash vicious stabs, slashes and strikes all around him! It helps that using the incantation allowed me to teleport spam, and with that I retain the momentum from each stab and allow each individual strike to deal a deadly impact!
I celebrate our return by shifting the duel time ahead five days, and turning to Barkley. If we take him out now, there will be no problem, and we can advance.
I pull out a vial of ash, and look around several times. Let's see here. I uncork the vial carefully, being sure not to spill any of the ash prematurely. I pace circles around Barkley, not searching for anything in particular. Before I attempt anything else, I don a pair of leather gloves. I do not believe it is strictly necessary for me to indelibly scar myself with what I will be inevitably working with. In fact, I find it quite unnecessary.
Upon adorning my hands with thick leather protectors, I crouch to the ground some distance away from Barkley. I upturn the vial, and, in one circular motion, empty it around me. I stand, peering down at the malleable ashen circle around me. I look at it for several moments, before stamping on every inch of it with my footwear, permanently staining the grass. Without as much as a moment of hesitation, I step out of the circle, muttering praise to ancient gods of breath.
The earth begins to rumble, shuddering and shaking beneath me. A series of spiraling cracks form upon the ground, splitting apart to carve incredibly deep, narrow tunnels into the earth. Gusts of wind flow forth from the crevices. Large amounts of ash are whipped about by the wind in a cylindrical pattern. The ash clouds grow thicker and thicker, until I cannot see through them, even with spells of enhanced vision.
Suddenly, the area within the miniature ash storm begins to shift and pulsate. Flecks of ash move out of the way, revealing a resplendent red light. The ash storm sails upward, into the clouds.
This reveals a thick red hole in the fabric of space and time, carved into the ground. I leap over, landing near the edge of the portal-esque form. I plunge a gloved hand into the hole, fumbling around in the depths of the indeterminately deep hole into the fabric of spacetime, before triumphantly pulling out an odd shape.
The shape is oddly pulchritudinous, carven in the form of a pickaxe of remarkable quality. The thing itself is glowing with an odd bright light. It takes me a few more seconds to realize the thing is a pickaxe composed entirely of effulgent licorice. I spin the pickaxe around in my hands, before swinging it down on the hole in reality. A deafening boom reverberates across the server, audible even from "Yggdrasil" itself. Moments later, the rift shuts. The pickaxe drips with transdimensional fluid glowing with the image of galaxies and stars.
I march over to Charles Barkley, before fading away in a gradual dissipation of color and form. Strangely enough, the glow of the pickaxe remains evident, even with the tool itself vanishing. This light is bewitching, exquisite. Barkley cannot help but look at it. It seems to put the Most Beautiful Object to shame.
Barkley suddenly finds the pickaxe sticking out of his face.
Of course, this is a rather broad term. The thing is sticking out of his lower face, and has in fact perforated his mouth, affecting his taste buds. From his end, that was the most beautiful thing one could ever taste. Barkley needs more. Predictably, he begins to shove the thing further into his face.
I watch, transfixed by fascination.
The licorice's aromatic scent flows through the field, profoundly affecting all. I tell Barkley to wait, that I will aid him in his quest. I force the entire effulgent licorice pickaxe down Barkley's throat, watching as the glowing light pours from his mouth.
What Barkley forgot to consider, however, was that this pickaxe was used as a mining tool. The wondrous taste of the immaculate licorice fills Barkley's mouth, but the foul binding of various types of metal poisoning fills his body.
Barkley immediately begins to suffer from copper, iron, mercury, lead, silver, and magnesium poisoning of various qualities. Of course, I reveal the the pickaxe was all a sham all along. It was made of the amazing-tasting plant algervic difoticus. Literal poison.
Machina || Beggar's Bazooka = Face Exploder^3 (2/?)
Electric Greatsword && Origin Blaze Rod = Flare (2/?)
//Inventory//
Electric Greatsword (non-alchemy)
You do what to the Gatekepeer?
Going to let you know: Alchemies aren't boosted by charges like in Terraria, AND you can't manually upgrade the Max Level. That requires a certain piece of L00T from the Gatekeepers. Plus, there's also the issue of your first post possibly being nulled due to it being pre-EoTB completion.
Machina || Beggar's Bazooka = Face Exploder^3 (Level 5: 1/6)
Electric Greatsword && Origin Blaze Rod = Flare (Level 25: 1/26)
Origin Blaze Rods: Not exactly known for low-level equipment.
I glare at Barkley once more, before wandering away from the field of battle once more. It is wise to learn to defeat one's enemy from the mysteries of undiscovered land.
Without an ounce of trepidation, I march into the darkest part of the deepest forest nearby, looking around at the trees, trying to find something of interest.
I glance over at the nearest tree, a thick birchwood whose trunk extends out several meters from the norm. This will do. I walk over to the tree, and remove an axe from my inventory, collecting approximately two logs. I use one to build a crafting table. The other, I fumble around with for several minutes, before removing a wooden flute from the workbench. Excellent.
I grab the flute, marching off into the forest. Let's see how this works. I play a rather short tune repeatedly, each repetition slightly louder than the last. Soon enough, the army assembles. By which I mean that a number of chairs peel themselves from the trees, and form a massive crowd in front of me.
I continue to play the song, adding in a number of subtle variations to make it function more adequately. More and more animate chairs form themselves out of the trees, and stand stiffly before me. I look them all over, before spinning around, and heading out of the forest, still playing the song. The chairs bounce along behind me, forming a small host.
I exit the forest several minutes later, and appear on the Battlefield's horizon, along with my chair army. We march around five hundred meters to the point of combat. Everyone is rather confused. Why is there suddenly a chair army? I utilize my flute to give the Lord-General Theta Omicron orders. The chair in question leaps into motion, shouting for order. The chair army quiets, leaving only the sound of the flute in the background.
The general dons his RESPLENDENT BATTLE-CAPE, and leaps upon his mighty chair-horse, before shouting out a simple order. The chairs behind him draw weapons, which they are somehow able to hold, despite literally being chairs.
The chair blows his horn, and the chairs order themselves. Theta Omicron dives into the host upon his noble steed, stabbing Barkley in the head with a long chair-spear.
The chair-army stamps upon Barkley's head, crushing it under heavy birchwood legs. The general swings around the other end of the host, shouting something else.
The general dives back into the fray in as reinforcements arrive. Hundreds of noble chairs upon splendiferous chair-horses appear on the horizon, before charging into battle, trampling Barkley in the process. The cavalry stab chair-swords into Barkley, before swinging back around as the infantry crush and oppress him with recovering fire. The finest chair archers this side of Casse Tu fire burning chair-arrows into Barkley whilst he is stabbed and crushed.
The chair infantry assembles, and collectively smashes Barkley's head in. On the horizon, hundreds of gigantic chairs march off in the distance, towards our current location. I begin to play the flute-song more frantically.
These chair-behemoths arrive in several seconds, and smash Barkley into paste with hundreds of tons of birchwood, the army attacking him all the while. Theta Omicron himself rides by Barkley, and leaps off of his horse, drawing a sword. His tattered cape flutters dramatically in the wind as he angrily steps over to Barkley's crumpled form, and decapitates him.
The chair-army, behemoth-inclusive, rides off into the distance. The Lord-General remains for several seconds to tell me something as I lower my flute.
Theta Omicron rides off into the sunset behind his army. What a nice chair army, one that DOES NOT COUNT AS AN ENTITY. CHAIRS ARE IMMUNE TO MIND CONTROL, TAZZ. THEY'RE CHAIRS. THEY DON'T HAVE BRAINS. Or, that's what the government wants us to think.
A purple sphere appears above my head as holographic rainbow wings sprout from my back. I look over at Uzi.
“Excuse us for a second.”
I grab Charles Barkley and drag him into the sphere.
He lands on a battlefield made out of the same holographic rainbow material that my wings are made of.
“You thought this was going to be easy for you? You were wrong.”
Floating on the opposite side of the battlefield from Barkley, a bemused expression crosses my face.
“You’re out of your league.”
-A SNIP FOR LENGTH REASONS-
Star’s Body: [H] 15/15 HP
Takes one damage from attacks
Requires certain actions to damage.
Cannot be harmed from attacks outside the Arena.
Cannot be harmed by entities.
Changes phases (and thus, actions to damage) at 13, 11, 9, 7, and 5 HP.
Loses 1 HP every 3 turns it hasn’t been damaged
Those who enter see a swampy area, with poisonous water filling up over half the room. Floating above the poisonous water is my body, which is haphazardly teleporting all over the place. As soon as it sees you, it fires purple energy orbs. You need to do something to reveal a weak point!
Charges Paused
45/50 Dark Bowser
5/50 Baby Eldritch Abomination
75,000 damage to Barkley! The shields of Zineous and the Possessed Armors are obliterated! SOMEHOW, he survives the finisher because it was an ORB of energy, thus making it a SPHERE, or rather a BALL, allowing Barkley to activate his Baller techniques to slam it into YOU in a glorious counterattack, causing you to skip a phase. Your body is 'summoned!'
...UserZero immediately takes offense at you for making an alternate zone and immediately smashes the area within, causing the 'door' and sphere to dissapear. Plus, I'LL be judging the attacks for this guy and how much damage they do, though I'll merely make this defense on par with Uncle Grandpa (re: really high to the point where 1 damage is the norm)...PM me the details.
Now, for my actual attack! Hoops Barkley, he's kind of hurting! Hmmm... Luckily, I copied my Dora heal into a Word document...
Anyways! I send Hoops Barkley(hereon referred to as "Hoops") so that it leads him to a place full of healing oranges. However, she doesn't want to eat the healing oranges. So, I also arrive at the place full of oranges and tell her that he HAS to eat them! He says she doesn't want to, because it's actually full of the COLOR orange, which heals you just by looking at it!
I see an opportunity! I immediately build massive facilities, a giant wall around the area staffed with thousands of guards, and make Hoops my business partner! We are here to announce the grand opening of the new... HEALING CORP!
We wait for a week. No customers come. Eventually, it's because I realize that I forgot to advertise! Ha! Silly me...
As the AZs are communicating to each other on their phones, their transmission is suddenly interrupted!
"Come get some healing at the amazing place of the healing color orange! Managed by Hoops, everyone's favorite fictional basketball player character, come around! The price is easy: $100000 dollars for two minutes of staring! It cures everything, even cancer!"
At this point, EVERYTHING digital on the field begins playing the message nonstop, even entities with a digital screen! Everyone decides to abandon the battle for a moment and check this new place out!
When they all arrive at the factory, we're waiting for them! My business practices combined with Hoops's charm/threats/general coolness to verboten jam them make them all cough up the cash, and they head inside!
The godmodders find that, sadly, the healing oranges don't seem to work on them. The AZ players realize that they don't actually need healing because they're invincible! The AZ entities are at first basking in it, but then they realize they aren't actually getting healed at all! I tell them that they didn't read the fine print of the contract(text size -2), which explicitly states "the healing qualities of this company's product do not work on entities of a position opposing that of a certain well-known godmodder".
And thus, as everyone leaves in frustration, the legal battle begins!
A large army of lawyers comes to try and sue me! I go to court with my own lawyer army, expecting a victory! Turns out, I lose... however, someone in the Accounting department "accidentally" recorded the transactions they made for the service as 1$ each, so that's how much they get reimbursed! Made even angrier by this, the entire AZ team sends their armies to lay siege to the factory!
A long, brutal, and bloody war ensues, somehow all happening in the space and time of 1 post. I attempt Guerrilla warfare against the AZ armies, but it turns out my security forces just aren't enough. Immediately after I draft the marketing and engineering departments into my small military, the AZ armies all directly storm the place! I send them all to not-so-heroically sacrifice their lives holding off the AZs, and head up to the final floor of the factory to hold up with Hoops! However, on the way, I realize there is one last thing I can do: DESTROY the healing orange color!
I take Hoops with me down to the area where it's all stored! I quickly realize that it's almost impossible to destroy a color... except... by absorbing it! And guess who has the power to absorb it? Well, Hoops doesn't, but I modify his genetic coding specifically so that he can absorb colors!
I grab ALL the color orange, and, as the AZs burst in through the doors, stuff it directly into his body! Not just into his stomach, but straight through to his SOUL! And if the soul doesn't exist, then just his stomach.
Hoops suddenly feels IMMENSE healing flow through him! All his wounds are fixed up rapidly, as what was probably some spatial anomaly grants its powers to him! Just as the AZ troops are preparing to fire, I teleport us both back to the battlefield!
Hoops now has an IMMENSE one-time healing, AND a good amount of health regeneration on top of it! I mean, if this attack is even capable of that.
(I'd like it if the regeneration were permanent, though that's probably impossible. If I can't get that and have it do a useful amount of HP, then make it temporary.)
Generic Minecraft Bow && Special UzerZero-themed Designer Portrait = Red Crescent (Level 100: 1/101)
Hoopz is dead! UserZero creates the Red Crescent for her own purposes via the usual godmodding whatnot.
...I officially now lock all attempts to make more gear with anything dealing with UserZero. Or Richard. It's banned, forever, before exploitation of this can get underway. PRE-EMPTIVE BANNING FOR THE GREATER GOOD.
Y feeds King Bob-omb an overdose of Gravitation Potions, causing it's gravity to permanently swap before the Gravitation effect lingers, and then encapsulates it in a miniature replica of Derse's moon constructed out of purpur blocks and filled with green fireworks and TNT set to trigger when the moon reaches the atmosphere, and waits for the whole thing to ascend.
He then encapsulates Soul of the Core's wounds in fireproof bandages.
Slumbersand && Indigo Flames
SCP-882 16/20
Vortex Monolith 1/15
00C: Tazz, could you list the names of the shielded entities in the Solar Monolith's description?
POSTS LEFT UNTIL 50TH POST, 21 Stop Deleting my post Editor
I try making a slightly big post (At least more than 10 Lines)
I put my sword down and i saw Barkley without his allies to help him, I pull off the dreaded RUGBY BALL! then both traveled to the rugby stadium.
I start off by kicking the rugby ball very high up so no one can reach it, I ran around until i got caught by Barkley, when he saw me it was a Decoy of myself! the decoy exploded at his face while i got the Rugby ball. I chuck my ball at my friend so he can throw the ball at me over Barkley and back to my friend over Barkley then we do it over and over and over and over and i reached the end so i can plant the rugby ball and TOUCHDOWN!!! explosions in Michael Bay style and Barkley is being covered in flames of the blasts I danced before he grabbed me, I dodged it in Sans style then i shoot Hate at Barkley while there is someone pinning him down to the floor, Basketball haters kicks him, and someone dropped a OH GOD NO- an massive explosion which is my Nova soccer ball hits him on top of his head covering 500 meters in diameter. Lastly some sadist says "Just die Barkley, you are the most stupid person in Basketball." he decides to shoot himself on top of his head, then 2 fans of my summons says "Charles, you killed our favorite summons now you must die!" someone takes the Shadow Mage's costume and his staff to blast him with Shadow Blast, then another grabs the armor and the sword of the Advanced Swordmaster's corpse then preforms Spinning Slash on Barkley's body and both of them fades away leaving Barkley injured in a process.
An powerful Halloween themed summon 30/50
Sp00py Armor 10/25 (Part of my Halloween Miniboss summon.)
Fountain of Life && Light Magic && False Wings = Angelic Being 5/6
+1 Talist, +1 MegaMinEr
My Items
Fountain of Life: [Power Rank I] Heals the target for increased healing. (Currently using for a Upgrade)
Bayoneted Laser Rifle (Also known as Bayo-Laser Rifle) [Power Rank II] Used for Ranged + Melee with extra damage to the Enemy.
Plasma Katana [Power Rank II] Deals extra damage to the Enemy when used.
>Ire: Get confused that someone who isn't you did a chair attack.
Ire wasn't here to witness that. And he probably won't witness anything ever again.
=Turn One=
(3 / 20) R e m e m b e r m e , s o I m a y l i v e o n .
(5 / 40) Font Friend (+4 total, from Cobalt, FBSN)
+1 to FBSN
+1 to Cobalt
=Action=
I summon a friendly Priest, who proceeds to use Flash Heal, Light Heal and Power Word: Shield on Valeera! I then also play down several Voodoo Doctors and Priestests of Elune to spam even more heals on Valeera! I then play down an entire army of Antique Healbots, providing yet another wave of healing! I then send that army off to attack the Demon Portal!
...the army gets wiped out before they do anything, dealing a total of 0 damage. But hey, healing.
=Command=
Valeera gains +1 Mana (for a total of 4) and then draws a card!
CARD DRAWN: Goblin Auto Barber (again)
Valeera will play down her Ironfur Grizzly, hopefully keeping her safe for a bit.
Ekimu The Mask Maker: 2/50 (+1 from Tazz) (This is intended to be a boss-level entity. Additionally, anyone AZ who helps me by donating charges will receive a mask of power or Kanohi of their choice. I'll work out the details later, but it can have any one power you choose, whether as an already existing mask or Kanohi, or one you invent yourself, with the exceptions of the classic-series legendary Kanohi (Life, Time, and Creation), classic masks of Light or Shadows, or the mask makers' unique masks from the reboot (Creation, Control, and Ultimate Power). Other than that, any already-existing mask should be fair game, and newly invented masks will be judged on a case-by-case basis. I'll update with more details later.)
Skarmory: 25/25 (+2 from Richard)
Skarmory is a Steel- and Flying-type Pokemon, with all the elemental advantages and disadvantages that come with that type combination. It has outstanding resistance to physical attacks, and decent other stats across the board. (Except special attack, but this Skarmory doesn't use those anyway.) Moves (Modified for compatibility): Steel Wing: Steel Type, physical. Chance of taking reduced damage from a direct attack on the same turn as attacking with this move.
Aerial Ace: Flying type, physical. Extremely hard to dodge
Swords Dance: Greatly powers up Skarmory's next attack
Iron Defense: Greatly reduces the damage Skarmory takes until its next action.
Skarmory can be ridden as a mount.
I test out my Kanohi Hau Nuva by projecting a force field around myself and Neo Ultima.
Y showers Charles Barkley in napalm, before noticing that the surface temperature of Charles Barkley is quickly rising, and showering him in liquid nitrogen.
He then showers Soul of the Core in Regeneration Potions.
Slumbersand && Indigo Flames 2/X
SCP-882 17/20
Vortex Monolith 2/15
The Regen Potions do nothing, but Barkley takes 4,000 damage!
Mercury runs up to Valeera, and attacks them with the amount of vowels in her name. It's four, don't go counting them, that's a waste of time. Anyways, Valeera dies a little, because four sounds like death in some language I don't remember.
Sandbag AND Anvil = Leadbag (Level 1: 1/2)
Big Noise: This weird blow gun shoots darts that cause the afflicted to snore REALLY loudly, so much it can hurt anyone nearby.
Valeera takes 4,000 damage from the power of Mandarian Chinese!
I leave lots of glue all over the basketball court that is so powerful, it pulls up the floorboards when Barkley steps on it, giving him large, unwieldy sandals that reduce his mobility. It also makes all his sponsors really upset at him for wearing unlicensed merchandise.
Relevance Line:
(I might just stop doing all these translations when they're speaking amoung themselves. It's kinda annoying to do.)
"Gail! Gail! Where... hah... are you?"
Mikoto pressed X to Jason a few more times before hearing Gail's whispering wind of a voice.
"Gu rvour... iziulom cussu jsissu..."
(I'm... over by this cave...)
After running towards her and skidding to a stop, Mikoto said through panting breaths,
"Why... hah... why dij you follow us? I told you to... hah... to... to stay behind."
Gail just tilted her head to the side, seeming to be trying to break the sentence down into its individual parts. Realizing his mistake, Mikoto took a moment to mentally shift gears.
"Oul ouss sipi kalnjiuuvl là piivs zivr. Hah... Gu nu zuvl pialr qivu sv riour llosré, kinc gu zivr alou kumalnké ku sossiu kiusouèrl. Malour zivr êsos zunvr ku sivsu falçin. Piivsqiviou?"
(It's too dangerous for you here. I didn't want you to get hurt, so I asked you to stay behind, but you came anyway. Why?)
Knowing she had disobeyed, Gail looked down, as if the mere question was a scolding. She seemed to have difficulty finding the words she wanted to use.
"Gu rvour kérilé Mikoto... r'oul pilalîs nu pialr ... ... êsrl un cilèrl alzuc miou ..."
(I'm sorry Mikoto... Please don't be mad at me...)
"Louun rûs qivu nin. Ralzuk qivu gu nu piuvl pialr... hah... êsrl un cilèrl cinsrl. Gu zuvl gvsu ralzious piivsqiviou sv os zunv."
(Of course not. You know that I can't be angry at you. I just want to know why you came.)
Gail was quiet for a while before responding, thinking carefully about her words, but seemed to get going after a while.
"Rlsivs à lal malourin oss ... aljséalllu. ... lu kimalonu oss cinfirsalllu us ... lal siurl oss luliu, malour qivou oss lu piions. ... ... Oul oss sivgivsr ... sivgivsr lu mêmu kimalonu à l'alousu ... us mêmu luliu siurl. gu l'alou kégà zv sivs culal. Kinc, ... huon ... Gu alou rvouzou piivs zious ku nivzualvl unksiousr us los junr. ... Ralzuk cimlouun ku sumpir gu alzalour pialrré à lourl los louzsos ku lal loullouishèqivu piivs miou. Nivr alzinr malnqivé k'housiousos là-lalr, allirr piuvs-êsrl cu nivzualv louuv us ku ros hallousalnsr ins luvsr pisipisos housiousos. gu riualour salzou ku los unsunkrl."
(Back home is... nice. ... The estate is comfortable and... land is beautiful, but that's the point. ... ... It's always... always the same comfortable estate... and the same beautiful land. I've already seen it all. So, ... eh... I followed you to see new places and people. ... You know how long I've had you spend reading the books of the library for me. We ran out of stories there, so maybe this new place and its people have their own stories. I'd love to hear them.)
I wanted to combine all these Hearthstone weapons into one awesome weapon, but I guess that will have to wait.
(judge's scales && blindfold [justice is blind, after all] && malachite blade ) || Tuning Fork = Sword of Justice 1/??
(Could this have a special effect? It deals very low damage, but if I summon an entity in the turn I attack with it, the entity summons with the "justice served" effect, which gives it a minor buff to attack and health. This lasts either until the entity dies or I cancel it. While I have an entity with justice served out, my personal attacks deal slightly less damage. Does that sound fair?)
Got +6 total. +2 from Richard, +2 from Tazz, +2 from Pricey
The first companion: 48/50
Sadly, that'll be hard for me to remember. Also, don't think I didn't notice that Heavy Rain reference.
Barkley's double action is slowed to a singluar action. Of course, you didn't entirely think about everything ELSE on the court in the process, as your glue has also stuck the guarding entities to the floor...Meaning they can't actually do anything. Including guarding. And the hoop's repairs will be finished THIS TURN.
Here's to hoping Barkley dies or something else comes in!
The Future: 4/50 ===================================================== (+2 from jondanger)
The Space Invaders && PC = The Personal Space Invaders (2/≥4)
Scribe's Wands || UFO Model = The Xenomorphs (2/?)
I +2 Erelye.
Maybe I can actually get charge times for my alchemies?
The Scribe looks at the Car Keys with a curious demeanor. "Eh, why not." He presses them.
Regardless of what happens, Uncle Grandpa hears the beep of the car keys and immediately thinks back to his own vehicle. Uncle Grandpa whistles the clearest whistle ever recorded to inhuman history, and a sonic boom sounds, a large RV screaming out of the sky and onto the ground. This is Uncle Grandpa's headquarters, the UG RV: and it bends reality as much as he does. Uncle Grandpa opens the front doors of the RV, darts in, and then shuts them, not coming out for several minutes.
When Uncle Grandpa returns, he's carrying something so jaw-dropping that the Scribe's jaw literally drops. As in, it falls off of his head because of the burns and melting he sustained from summoning Pilcrow. As the Scribe panics and yells in pain, Uncle Grandpa uses the sound waves of the Scribe's screams to power the thing he got from his van: a giant particle accelerator much larger than the van that only activates when it detects fear. It only activates when it detects fear to capitalize on the belief that particle accelerators can cause apocalyptic black holes to form that will destroy the Earth. But hey, that's only superstition. That would never happen.
Needless to say, Uncle Grandpa evacuates every ally in the area as the particle accelerator reaches critical speed, causing a supermassive black hole to appear that swallows two unlucky Pro-Zero entities. Once it swallows them up, the black hole destabilizes itself, disappearing.
-SNIPPED-
The Space Invaders && PC = The Personal Space Invaders (Level 3: 2/4)
Scribe's Wands || UFO Model = The Xenomorphs (Level 4: 2/5)
You press the Car Keys.
IMMEDIATELY the Glue Problem Talist just presented is solved, as a ridiculously huge mech decides to fall straight from the sky almost immediately after you pressed the button, causing the ground to shake when it lands from its summon! A possessed Armor is knocked right off of the court from his left foot landing just close enough, and it stands up on the court, coincidentally blocking Barkley from size alone! As of right now, there is ONE entity guarding the court. A completely fresh one as well.
This massive mechanical monstrosity, possessing four arms and a different element flowing thorugh each, as well as the toughest metal of an unkonwn black substance and a great deal of weaponry, leers down at you.
"HELLO SIR. I AM DEVASTATOR OBL-SLASH-ELB-SLASH-VOI-SLASH-DEA MODEL NUMBER 901909. I SEE YOU ARE BEREFT OF AN OPERATION MANUEL AND A COMMANDER'S MOTORCYCLE. DISPENSING OPERATION MANUEL AND COMMANDER'S MOTORCYLE."
The mecha proceeds to open up a tiny hatch on its right arm, and then drop the Operation Manuel at your feet. He then opens up a hatch on its left leg, revealing a sweet new Motorcycle made of the same black material.
"TAKE THIS TIME TO READ OVER THE OPERATION MANUAL TO LEARN HOW I OPERATE SO THAT YOU MAY GIVE ME PROPER COMMANDS."
You decide to take its advice, despite it misspelling manuel twice now. Fortunately, the instructions are simple. You're the only one to read it, so this means the Operation of the Devastator is yours!
The Devastator is a powerful entity with Double Action, made of Blackguard (the toughest material you've ever seen in your life, and that applies to almost all of you) to enhance durability and a powerful quad-elemental bomb launcher, though it takes a while to phase it in. in addition, it has four passive modes, each used by channeling a specific energy. The Devastator has access to 4.
-OBI/Oblivion: This energy is the most destructive in existence, but for safe operation and in case of unintentional friendly fire or just getting too close, the Devastator only uses so much at once. As such, while in Oblivion mode, it has a damaging aura against enemies whenever they attack or are attacked by the Devastator. It's light, but it's fairly useful in all situations.
-ELB/Electric Blender: the most cost-effective of the four, to the point where it's usually considered the most useful offensive energy of all. It starts in this mode for that reason alone. The odd inner workings of the Devastator (seriously this thing has Electric Blenders as part of it's inner workings?) allow it to exploit this to occasionally get an extra point of charge on its charge while in Electric Blender mode.
-VOI/Void: Though painful in even minor concentrations, Oblivion does more damage per inch of energy, thus the Void was repurposed for a more defensive application, voiding part of the energy used to strike it. While in Void Mode, it gains a great deal of defense.
-DEA/Death: Usually only useful on Biological targets, the Devastator makes up for this by making sure to include heavier ammunition than usual so as to make sure Mechanical targets are equally wounded. While in Death Mode, the Devastator has a chance to Minicrit on Mechanical entities and Crit on Biological entities. Elementals and such are considered Biological for this mode's purposes.
And of course, there's the charge itself: 4-0, which allows the Devastator to generate a powerful elemental Railgun shot composed of all four energies from its chest, then firing it with a precision lock-on, making it guarenteed to do undodgeable damage to one entity and moderate splash to two others of choice. It has a chargeup of 6 turns, and it's somewhat weak for that duration...But of course, you have a mode that can theoretically halve that chargetime, making it somewhat strong for its duration instead.
Regardless of that, Uncle Grandpa will do as you say.
Walker: level 1, 466000 damage (Warning - leveling up soon)
Best Pun Ever: 25/50
Haven't You Got Slams In Your Jam: 21/25 (+2 from Fseftr, +1 from Tazz since he said all charges gain +1)
+2 to Fseftr
I become fed up with the MCF's resident data vampires eating my post, promptly smash through the 4th wall, and inject Charles Barkley with NANOMACHINES, SON, which heal him for some random amount and ARGH GODDAMN IT NOT AGAIN JESUS CHRIST MCF WILL YOU STOP BEING A gorilla AND LET ME POST ONE TIME WITHOUT THIS HAPPENING?
It might be the gray text, mate. In any case, I feel your pain, so +10,000 HP to Barkley.
Look on my first charged entity, Pro-Zero entities, and despair!
Suppression Turrets: 20/20 COMPLETE!
Leviathan: 10/30
I promptly lay down a large platform on the AZ side of the battlefield, divided into five square sections in a row! While the platforms are humble, I soon build up and set up five large artillery cannons on each one... pointed straight at the Pro-Zeroes! I summon five Constructites from the future to man the guns! My Suppression Turrets are completed...
It's time for a blast out!
Supression Turret A-E [AZ] HP: 15,000/15,000 (x5)
Deals 6,000 damage to the target when attacking.
This only attacks every other turn while the gun must reload.
However, I have a unique mechanic... if my allied players choose to man one of the guns (they can only man a single one per turn), then they can choose the target and attack every turn instead of every other turn since ammo is being fed into it! Kind of encourages teamwork, since firing it on its own will deal less damage overall. This will deal 30K damage every other turn if all turrets are accounted for, but without my allies, it will only deal an effective 15K a turn, so I'm going to need my friends' aid for this one!
Please buff and nerf as you see fit! I haven't been able to gauge power of entities really well in this game.
Generally, 20K is OK for a 50-post charge. It'll certainly be doing less than is normal for a 20-post charge, though its mechanic can see it doing MUCH more if used properly. Supression Turrets summoned!
==Turn 1==
Salt 12/50 (+1 from Tazz)
+2 to Erelye.
==Action==
Crystal takes Disassembly and minces Barkley into small pieces, saving the head, before chopping up the remains of his body further, grinding them into ground meat, frying them into burgers, and stuffing them into the inexplicably still-alive head’s cakehole one after the other. This allows the head to regenerate its body, but Barkley is (hopefully) damaged heavily, both from his entire body being ground up and from the mental shock of being forced to perform autocannibalism.
==Entities==
Storm will use Storm-Threnody, targeting Barkley, while Stone will heal Storm with Gates of the Garden.
I take out a saw and cut through king bob-omb. He rams into me, but I dodge out of the way just in time. I then take out a tiny laser and point it at his eyes, making him go blind. I then leap in front of him and put on a Mario hat. I then blind him with my laser a few more times and sideways leap behind him. I grab him from behind and slowly carry him to the edge of the cliff where I throw him into a pit of mud, and freeze it, encasing him in frozen mud. I then do a couple of ground pounds to break it open. He is freed, but not for long, as the ice was suspended over a pit of spears, lava, and dart traps.
___
The dwarves continue building, madly digging deeper, and deeper. I should stop them, but I must finish this fortress. Why? I'm not really sure... But I must!
Alchemies:
Spoiler (click to hide)
The Forge Stoker: Level 4
Holy Flame: Level 3
Peacetime: Level 3: A staff that gives off a calming vibe. It's powers grow with the level of peace around you, so as it stands its very weak. When it is strong, however, it can do great things.
Iron Forge Hammer: Level 2
Coldheart Hard Drive: Level 1: It's a hard drive that keeps itself very cool.
Holy Flame || Peacetime = Fear No Anvil (Level 10: 0/11)
And suddenly it dawns upon me, Dwarf Fortress. But of course. I salute you for managing to keep that a secret that long.
Chlorophyte (If it makes the alchemy level too high replace with Grassite) II Dirt II Herbal Medicine = Healium (Get it? :p) 2/???
Nerf Batt II Potion of Weakness II Potion of Slowness = "Nerf" Bat (Similar to Project Lulz on the Terraria session, I'm starting Project Punz.)
+2 to FBSN
Sukard 7/50
Vritra Chenbog 3/6
I throw a cross into the Demon Portal.
Neo Ultima uses Lifeup on himself.
Nerf Batt II Potion of Weakness II Potion of Slowness = "Nerf" Bat (Level 10: 1/11)
A bat with the power of Nerfing entities is powerful indeed.
You toss the Cross into the Demon Portal. You're not sure that did anything.
Crystal takes the Wand of the Empty Set, forms a massive blade of diluted oblivion energy around it, and slices Barkley into salami. I’ll spare you the torrent of food-related things that happen to the slices afterward, but suffice it to say Barkley is even more traumatized at the end.
==Entities==
Storm will use Storm-Threnody, targeting Barkley, while Stone will heal Storm with Gates of the Garden.
Flailblade: It's quite literally a sword with a chain between the blade and hilt. Not very practical, but interesting to watch.
Absurdly Sharp Blade: It's REALLY sharp. Nothing else to say on this.
Flailblade && Absurdly Sharp Blade = Absurdly Sharp Flailblade (Level 4: 1/5)
Jam && Tiny Star = Space Jam (Level 1: 1/2)
In the post-cyberpocalypse, one must be sharp and resourceful! as such, Barkley throws his two balls in the air to catch the soccer ball and sends it back to you before resuming his constant dribble of the two Basketballs. Quite skillful.
I throw an annoying grenade at the Neutrals, playing over-the-top annoying sounds, causing annoyance damage.
Quote: 30/50
Making the potatoes...: 18/50
+2 to Twin
The World's Most Beautiful Thing dies from your careless grenade toss! Everything else looks at you VERY badly for that...Welp. This EoTB will be short.
Pretty Pretty, Shiny Shiny: 15/25 ========================= (+1 from Tazz)
A Tactical Genius: 21/50 ================================================== (+1 from Tazz, +2 from generic)
+2 to Crystal
Barkley's entourage was wiped out, and now was the perfect chance to attack! The Empowered Gargoyle Staff glowed with maroon energy, matching that of Bomber's chat color. It began to spray a beam of energy into the air, which quickly began to draw an outline in the air. The dark maroon lines were like a stained glass window, distorting the world's true color if looked through. The outline continued to form, until it finally was done drawing. The space between the lines filled in, forming a three-dimensional shape made out of energy. A large greatsword made of the dark powers within the Empowered Gargoyle Staff floated in the air menacingly.
It danced left and right, oddly agile for such a bulky sword. It then suddenly lurched forward and sliced Barkley with great force, hitting him in the side of his torso hard. The sword didn't stop its momentum, cutting straight through him. The sword kept its momentum going, swinging around and into an upward position. The greatsword's immense weight crashed down on Barkley's right shoulder, shattering the bone and cutting right through him. The dark energies left a horrible stinging pain, and like a twisted knife would leave wounds that would never fully heal.
The sword's form became blurry and started to dissipate, before all of its energy wisps flew back into the Empowered Gargoyle Staff that gave birth to it.
The muttering of the Blue Horrors continued, as they fired their unpredictable volley of Flickering Fire at Barkley, lighting him aflame in a hauntingly beautiful display of blue and purple fire. His skin crackled as he burned, but the fire began to do something very odd. Similar to what the Bolt of Change did to Hoopz, Barkley too began to change, though to a lesser extent. His skin turned into wood before burning away into ash. It then dribbled off in a waterfall of corrosive acid before becoming a pile of skin again on the ground. Eyes would grow and seal shut once more, rending and tearing his skin apart in their presence. The fire soon went out, leaving Barkley in a ruined state. He would never be the same again. A smile tugged at the corners of one of the Blue Horrors' lips, but it was very faint.
Valeera suddenly finds herself burning in a lake of eternal eternity. Eternity is very hot, because it has an n in it, and the name Norman starts with n. Norman is your father in RS/ORAS, and that's the games with Team Magma. Yeah, so eternity is very hot. Valeera is burnt. Yeah.
Upload/Download Cable AND Indigo Flames = Thoughtorrent (Level 7: 1/8)
A Tactical Genius: 22/50 ==================================================
+2 to Crystal
Bomber decided to stay true to his name and pulled out a bomb. It looked very peculiar, seeming to be "growing" clusters of other bombs out of it. Though, he wasn't just going to throw a little bomb like this at Barkley. No, it had to be good. It had to be amazing.
He held the bomb over his head and began to channel energy into it. It began to grow in size, becoming nearly four times, then eight times as large as it was. It seemed impossible that Bomber could hold it, lest move it. But, as skillful as ever, he managed to toss it right at Barkley, the massive bomb soaring through the air.
It crashed into him and exploded violently. The big bomb spewed out many smaller (yet still huge) bombs that also exploded on Barkley. It was a typhoon of destruction as the cluster of explosions came to an end. The field was covered in smoke, smelling of hot brimstone. Bomber loved this sort of thing, taking a whiff of the air.
Essentially an ice-and-stone version of the Paerotheum Bullets. It hits with the force of a landslide and is said to freeze water and similar substances instantly.
8,000 damage to Barkley!
With all these attacks, if Barkley lives after all of this, I'll be genuinely surprised.
...And lo, after all of this, Barkley survives. Barely.
You've gotta give this guy credit for surviving all of that. I mean, seriously.
The Crimson Smog stops the Solar Monolith from acting and deals 8,000 damage, but the fog lifts at last.
The Demon Portal spits out two new demons; A succubi and a wispy dark thing, rubbing its head. Apparently MegaMinEr's cross connected with something. The Blood Imp raises the Flame Imp's HP by 5,000.
The CSI squad gets more inconclusive results. Really, given the conditions, this was only a forgone conclusion; it's a warzone and the corpse is long gone, and apparently no-one thought to screenshot the kill. It's very hard to find evidence at all that they're related, though they can't let this stand. One more try.
The Uncreativity Montser loses 5,000 HP from overheal, and Valeera and Neo Ultima lose 5,000 from Severe Burning, though neither miss an action. Technically. The facotry begins producing another Maxis.
The King Bob-Omb's detonation countdown contines...It'll go boom next turn, guys! I'd kill it quickly. The Heavy Fists Guy loses 2,000 HP from Poison but is cured.
Almost every Entity with the ability to attack in any fashion goes hog-wild on Jondanger for destroying the object of their combined affections. Things you didn't even think COULD feel rush forwards and pound him to oblivion, not knowing he's currently invincible, and if they are, not caring. Faction boundaries are ignored completely in the attempt to slaughter Jondanger, a futile attempt at that, wasting their turns.
Well, all but one entity. Charles Barkley saw, upon looking at the World's most Beautiful thing...The pair of Basketballs in his hands already. He realized its beauty was an illusion, a fake the moment it appeared, and with this knowledge, never cared. As such, with only one action remaining and so little life, he's going to put it all on the line with another Verboten Jam! He rushes forwards-
-and Richard intercepts.
Godmodder477: Punk.
What follows is a straight impalement, doing considerable overkill damage to poor Barkley as he is finally slain! They drop to the floor, inches from the hoop, as the two Basketballs fall to the floor, dribbling into stillness.
Barkley is somehow still alive, but he's definitely going out. His B-Ball aura has completely faded, barely visible.
Richard looks upon Barkley with some kind of weird sadistic glee. Then again, Barkley was a royal pain to deal with, so satisfaction must feel great. He takes the Ultimate B-Ball in his hands, observing its contours...
Godmodder477: Undefeated.
Godmodder477: Until now.
He takes the Ultimate B-Ball and hurls it into a convenient void portal. It's unlikely to be destroyed, but it's unlikely to ever be found again. As for the Zeroth Ball, he just knocks it away from Barkley's outstretched hands. It rolls into the middle of the Battlefield, able to be claimed by the first man/woman/whatever to grab it. finally, looking at the defeated Barkley as he's about to say something, Richard puts his Minecraftian hand up to his lips.
Godmodder477: Shhh.
Godmodder477: Only death now.
Richard stomps Barkley's head onto the ground. Therafter, his body fades into red like usual. BARKLEY, GEEEEEEEEEEET DUNKED OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!! FIRST GATEKEEPER DESTROYED!!
If I had some skills with image-making that would be an image right there.
With the Gatekeeper Slain, the energy barrier separating all of you from UserZero is now gone. Richard walks up to it slowly, methodically, giving UserZero THE most smug grin possible. UserZero herself, however, has completely lost her smile. Her experession is totally neutral. Disturbingly neutral. Not even a twitch, not even as Richard pulls out his Prototype Banhammer and gives it a floruish.
A second passes.
Richard expected reprisal, but he shrugs off the lack of an attack and proceeds to start on the barrier.
Whack! The Banhammer collides with the crimson dome! However, unlike every other attack before it, this one leaves visible damage. crack marks, like it was made of glass.
Whack! The cracks grow larger, starting to stretch across the dome.
Whack!
Whack!
Whack!
With every blow of the Banhammer, the first barrier between you and Yggdrasil becomes more and more damaged. Finally, it comes to a point where every inch of the barrier is covered in cracks, like smashed glass. A breath could fell it.
Richard breathes in...
...And out.
And just like that, the whole thing falls, dying not with a bang, but with a whimper, as the energy simply fades away-though a small part of it connects with another barrier in the distance.
Throughout it all, UserZero just kept standing there, staring. Richard takes this time to +2 the Scribe and Bomber.
Godmodder477: 100% winrate, huh? Godmodder477: Not anymore! Godmodder477: UserZero! This is it! Godmodder477: Appreciate this fight, because it's going to be your last dance! Godmodder477: I WILL take your place, no matter what! Godmodder477: I WILL become the ultimate Godmodder! Godmodder477: NOTHING you can do can stop me! No defense, No- UserZero: Tuba Boy. UserZero: Shut up.
And he does. Everyone does. Even the PZs. No-one dares to TWITCH. Proper capitalization out of UserZero is quite a rare sight, and you can only imagine she's considerably more angry than she's letting on right now. Or something worse.
UserZero: He was the first Gatekeeper for a reason, you know. UserZero: Least expensive to lose. UserZero: Sorting Algorithm of Evil and all that. UserZero: Narrative loves enforcing it and all that. UserZero: Pity. This would have been over already if I could get my way on this. UserZero: Granted, all things considered, Barkley came very close there, didn't he? UserZero: The clutch interception at the last second, just like a sports classic. UserZero: The clutch interception on a man who is not only 89 years old, but had nearly been torn to tiny shreds by the attacks beforehand, witnessed the death of his son and two friends, and the interception was done by a reality warping menace. UserZero: And yet, it was all too close. Imagine, just a bit more damage, and your own stupidity would have felled you all. UserZero: And that's the first Gatekeeper. UserZero: What's the second like? UserZero: Or the third? UserZero: What are you in for? How long is this even? UserZero: ...You don't even know anything other than a few near-pointless numbers. UserZero: But I can't ignore the fact you defeated Barkley when he went undefeated beforehand. UserZero: As such. You are no longer n00bs.
You're...Not sure whether or not to take that well. Richard, at least, realizes that, while she's standing perfectly still in a Princess Peach cosplay, now would be the best time to attempt an attack! He rushes in, dual-wielding both of his weapons.
He expects to use one of his sick-nasty godmods to get around whatever defense UserZero planned for this moment.
Nothing happens.
Absolutely nothing happens except the sound of steel impacting a skull.
3 damage to UserZero! But...She doesn't move an inch.
UserZero: Oh. Sorry. UserZero: I was supposed to move there a few blocks?
She proceeds to move back 10 blocks, stepping slowly. You don't follow. Not immediately. Something is up and you are too smart to approach.
UserZero: You see now? UserZero: It's all just a joke. UserZero: But this? This is a really bad joke. UserZero: And it's one that's been repeated Ad Infinitum. UserZero: The Joke here, being, that you think you have a chance. UserZero: Let me be the first to say that...Yes, you do, honestly.
...What.
UserZero: Antis. Slayers. Everyone, really. UserZero: It's clear that, as you are not n00bs, you are fully capable of reaching Yggdrasil with your own power. UserZero: As such, you are now threats. UserZero: As such, you are also deserving of my full arsenal as the Omega-Plus Godmodder, with as little restraint as I can muster under the OP Scale. UserZero: After all, you've earned it. You've gotten farther than anyone else. UserZero: Even if the goal is so far away. UserZero: As such, I believe it is time to up the ante on my defense and truly bring the game up to the mark it's been given. UserZero: Welcome to the Big Girls League.
UserZero leans down and grabs her dress-which, you now notice, is twitching quite oddly. That just can't be good.
UserZero: Enjoy.
UserZero pulls up her dress, and within is SOMETHING. It is most clearly not her legs-you bet there was some shenanigans going on with it. Calling it darkness is not appropriate. Calling it nothingness was equally failing to describe it. And yet, the instant it appeared, every player (with the exception of Walker) was suddenly and swiftly dragged into whatever it is...Or maybe you flung yourselves headfirst into it? It was quite hard to tell. When sucked inside, a massive dark void awaited you, and whispers filled your ears as the inexplicable blackness surrounded you.
The whispering only said one thing. It is repeated, over and over and over and over again, static, relentless, but so soft you can barely hear it.
Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum.
You feel a force surround every last one of your bodies. Even the most powerful among you cannot even twitch for the life of you.
Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum.
You try to shout, try to even think, but it appears every feasible action available to you is shut and closed.
Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum.
You black out, completely unsure of what was happening, with an exception: Pain. An inexplicable pain that came from everywhere within your body at once.
A few seconds after you were sucked in from the perspective of richard, Walker and UserZero, a black portal appeared above the battlefield. containing the same Inexplicable Blackness. It proceeded to spit everyone out, completely intact, surprisingly. Nothing had appeared to happen. Or nothing noticeable. The entities proceeded to continue their murder of Jondanger for the destruction of the World's Most Beauitful thing..
Of course, since the Narrative had already alerted Humanibli (and thus you) that Player Vulnerability was coming after you beat Barkley...WEll, they succeeed at this point, and after a second of screaming from him, Jondanger is dead.
UserZero's smile has, meanwhile, returned, with her dress making odd movements that seem quite independent of her. You will never think of Princess Peach in the same way again.
UserZero: ah, the umbral one. UserZero: it's such a treat to see him in action. UserZero: or not really, i don't see what happens. UserZero: certainly know the results, though! UserZero: have fun with that vulnerability again. UserZero: ...getting all worked up over one benchmark isn't healthy, me.
The Princess Peach cosplay completely vanishes, and UserZero reverts to her standard self. Thank goodness for once. She stretches around, ready to rejoin the fray in full.
UserZero: now then. UserZero: where were we?
UserZero +3's her Pro-Zero allies.
The Alchemiter starts humming oddly as an odd flash of light descends upon it! Everyone not engaged with UserZero's actions at this point notices the flashing of an Orange Blue pulse around the Alchemiter! It fades quickly, but you realize something about it-it's been upgraded to level 10! It can now support Level 10 Alchemies (at last!).
Of course, there's one other thing that's changed...Player Vulnerability is back. Whatever the Umbral One did was to blame, but that's quite irrelevant. Walker's early adoption has stealthily paid off, it seems, as he's now on equal footing with the rest of you, and technically more so due to his leveling system. Each of you can now be targeted, and if you die, you will spend the next turn respawning and returning to the Battlefield (after all, it's pretty far away from spawn now). While respawning, you can do NOTHING: No charge, no gain of assists, no giving assists, no attack, no Entity Orders, NOTHING. You can only respawn if you post saying so, as well (though this is mostly to make sure you're still playing). In addition, getting HP/Armor isn't going to be as easy as it was during DTG2: you're going to need to REALLY save up charge for that. Of course, Alchemies can help with the latter issue, but only so much. On the flipside, with some charge, you can make yourselves like entities, giving YOURSELVES complicated mechanics and whatnot. PM me any ideas on this much, though, especially if it involves damage-ups and such.
If you've been forgotten in the Player HP lineup below, let me know, because I can be forgetful about this kind of thing.
Terrain: Pavement (really flat, but has no standard effect)
Weather: Clear (no effect)
[N] sigmatw: 20/20 HP.
[N] The_Serpent: 20/20 HP.
[N] CobaltShade: 20/20 HP.
[N] PitTheAngel: 20/20 HP.
[N] Slingshot: 20/20 HP.
[GS] nulitor: 20/20 HP.
[GS] NinjaV2403: 20/20 HP.
[GS] Crusher48: 20/20 HP.
[GS] ProofofconcepT: 20/20 HP.
[GS] TheDrivingLlama: 20/20 HP.
[GS] DarkSide Ultima: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] FINALBATTLESTARTSNOW: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] The_Topazian: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] insert_generic_username: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Hezetor: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Bomber57: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] MegaMinEr69: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Cusionmantis: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] tc2142: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] ManiacMasteR: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Irecreeper: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Crystalcat: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Babysphee: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] TheLordErelye: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Pricey12345: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] ninjatwist321: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Nimbleguy: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Doctor Shiny: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] TwinBuilder/The Scribe: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Jondanger23: 0/20 HP.
[AZ] Talist: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] dylamb6: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Babysphee: 20/20 HP.
[PZ] Fseftr: 20/20 HP.
[PZ] engie_ninja/Walker: 14/20 HP.
[PZ] TT2000: 20/20 HP
[H] Demon Portal: 80,000/80,000 HP. Summons two random demons each turn.
[H] Star's Body: 15/15 HP. Ridiculous defense, but has a weakness based on its patterns. Current pattern: Teleport Spam with energy blasts.
[H] Blood Imp: 5,000/5,000 HP. Cannot be directly targeted, can only be damaged by AoE. Grants an allied Hostile +5,000 HP (current and max) per turn!
[H] Flame Imp: 25,000/25,000 HP.
[H] Voidwalker: 28,000/30,000 HP. May occasionally take attacks aimed at other Demons.
[N] SWAT Team: 10,000/10,000 HP x5 Defends the CSI Cyber Investigation Team and Cyber Portal.
[N] CSI Cyber Portal: 20,000 HP. summons a SWAT team each turn.
[N] CSI Cyber Investigation Team. Can possibly find evidence. Arrest Warrent: [||||||||||]
[N] Humanibli: 50,000/50,000 HPx3. Gains damaged as he's killed. Entities must not be invincible to damage him!
[N] Solar Monolith: 67,000/75,000 HP. Projects up to 3 Shields on entities.
[N-BOSS] Soul of the Core: Heads: 38,900/100,000 HP x2; 41,900/100,000 HP x1; Body: 1,500,000/1,455,800 HP. Body has high defense. Body occasionally sucks in attacks not aimed at it. Triple-Action while all heads are alive; double action if two are alive. Inflicts Gravcrush on all entities it attacks/is attacked by. Wildfire Waltz: [|||] Gravity Falls: [||||] Terminus: [|||||] Takes reduced damage from Player actions while atomicAmiable is active; Takes reduced damage from Entity actions while antimatterAugry is active.
[GS] Doge: 5,000/5,000 HP (does not attack unless an entity on its team is attacked first, will bodyguard for allies, respawns 1 round after death if there are still allied entities present). Will Guard the Hoop if any Defenders die.
[GS] The Captain: 11/20 HP.
[GS] Crocidibli: 85,500/95,000. Targets Mibibli nigh-exclusively until death. Won't die unless Death Conditions are met. Levitator Enforcer: [||||]
[AZ] Blue Horrors: 5,000/5,000 x18. Attack individually, but have REALLY low accuracy. Each Pink Horror (or two Blue Horrors) add a charge to Bolt of Change. Bolt of Change: [||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||] (This is one charge, just split into units of 10 for easy measure.)
[AZ] Valeera: 150,000/200,000 HP. Mana: 4/10. Gains +1 Mana at the START of each turn. HAND: (3) Shattered Sun Cleric, (5) Assassin's Dagger, (1) Deadly Poison, (5) Assassination, (3) Ironfur Grizzly. Sleuthhack: [||||] Severe Burn: [|||]Gravcrush: [|||||]
[AZ] Uncreativity Monster: 79,000/67,500 HP. Decays by 10K HP until at max HP value. Gains HP with Uncreative attacks aimed at it.
[AZ] Storm: 110,000/215,000 HP. May change weather to Thunderstorm. Unaffected by Weather. Breath of the Void: [|||]
[AZ] Stone: 205,000/215,000 HP. Clay Men: 20,000/20,000 HP x1. Summons a Clay Man every turn to defend it. Taste of the Garden: [|||] Gravcrush: [|||||]
This signature is meant for educational purposes only. Send no money now. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. To prevent electric shock, do not open back panel. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from country to country. Not recommended for children under twelve years of age. Batteries not included. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. All rights reserved. Use only as directed. Parental discretion advised. No other warranty expressed or implied. Unauthorized copying of this signature strictly prohibited. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. In case of eye contact, flush with water. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not fold, or mutilate. Use other side for additional listings. Shipping and handling extra. No animals were harmed in the production of this signature.
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Location:
0rgin P0int, Zeroth Server
Join Date:
2/28/2011
Posts:
63
Location:
why
Minecraft:
User_Zero
Xbox:
Battlefury13
PSN:
no
Member Details
Blood-stained Blutsauger && Vampire Knifes && Greater
Essence of Life Drain && Spirit of Bloodlust &&
Blood-stained UserZero Tag && Fruit from the tree of Death= Death unto Life (Level 300: 1/301)
UserZero happily creates this interesting weapon for her own purposes
via console commands and admin commands and godmodding and other such
things.
We be doomed. Oh well, still gonna keep this on-hand, since its so cool.
Other such things? Did a wizard do it?
Bored waiting on rest of update, time to bringe-read homestruck so i can get half of what is going on
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
"THIS IS EQUAL PARTS FUNNY AND SAD."
"STOP LAUGHING AND KILL THE BUNNY!"
"YOU'RE GETTING QUOTED ON THAT ONE, CALLING IT NOW. WHY ARE YOU LOSING IT OVER ONE ENEMY ANYWAY?"
"I DON'T KNOW! THERE'S A BLANK SCREEN WHENEVER I PERFORM A MEMORY SEARCH! NOTHING SHOWS UP!"
Walker: level 1, 491000 damage (Warning - leveling up soon) (5000 per Blue Horror killed, by the way)
Best Pun Ever: 26/50
Haven't You Got Slams In Your Jam: 25/25 (+2 from Fseftr, +2 from UserZero)
+2 to Fseftr Ah'm moovin' this!
Walker re-reads the rules section, notices the bit about how he has to wait until after the EoTB is announces, and curses at missing his chance to steal the spoil of war.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
"THIS IS EQUAL PARTS FUNNY AND SAD."
"STOP LAUGHING AND KILL THE BUNNY!"
"YOU'RE GETTING QUOTED ON THAT ONE, CALLING IT NOW. WHY ARE YOU LOSING IT OVER ONE ENEMY ANYWAY?"
"I DON'T KNOW! THERE'S A BLANK SCREEN WHENEVER I PERFORM A MEMORY SEARCH! NOTHING SHOWS UP!"
Ladies and Gentlmen...This took far too long, though at least it was done all in a go. In any case, the Update is finished, any posts prior to this announcement are hereby null.
...I'm gonna update the Intro Post with this info.
... Indigo Flames && Crystal Ball = The Mindwalker (3/8)
Olimar's Whistle >Fine 4/5
+2 Bomber
I ninja loot the Zeroth B-Ball. NOW I CAN MURDER THE SOUL OF THE CORE. GET DUUUUUUUUNKED OOOOOOOON!!!! I expend both my charges, flip my gravity towards the Soul, and SMASH THE ZEROTH BALL INTO THE CORE'S HEADS AT FULL FORCE. I then teleport the Soul of the Core into the ocean. No, I don't really care about how creative my actual attacks are. This is why I make the alchemies, grab the spoils, spam the basic attacks, make the charges. It's how I operate. ... Anyways, I pull out another Monado, how many of those things are there even, and cut off all of the Core's heads.
I use much of my charge energy to infuse my body with Topaz, turning me into Topaz!BattleFury
Topaz Battlefury
25/25 ((5 increase per gemlevel,
Can upgrade to Emerald Battlefury after a certain amount of damage and or charges
Resistant to damage due to being made of a gem
The Topaz Frying Pan has become the Gemsword!
Gemsword: Upgrades with Battlefury.. Currently topaz. Provides a damage bonus
Magic-based attacks are scattered around Battlefury due to the reflective nature of gems. At lower levels this is mostly irrelevent.
Below: leveling up mechanices
Leveling Up Mechanics:
The gem teir system follows that of Terraria.
At each level up, i gain: 5 HP
Damage buffs
Greater damage resistance
At levels 2, 4, 6 and 7 i gain extra skills, and at 6 and 7 i can choose a passive ((such as Sure aim or Evasive))
The Gemsword:
Melded from the Topaz Frying pan (Which, i might remind you, is half-diamond sword), the Gemsword provides an damage boost, and can gain its own set of passives.
It can gain one of the Generic Minecraft Set of Boosts each level, with Diamond allowing for me to remove one trait and gain a -1 trait (if thats not OP). The strenght of the Generic Minecraft Bonus's increased by 1+ per level.
Currently, i have Damage 1+ as a starting boost
10/11 Emerald Upgrade
i ninja/bullrush the Zeroth Ball if generic does not have it. If he ninjaed it, then i present the blueprints for the Death unto Life to richard and warn him about UserZero having a copy.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
"THIS IS EQUAL PARTS FUNNY AND SAD."
"STOP LAUGHING AND KILL THE BUNNY!"
"YOU'RE GETTING QUOTED ON THAT ONE, CALLING IT NOW. WHY ARE YOU LOSING IT OVER ONE ENEMY ANYWAY?"
"I DON'T KNOW! THERE'S A BLANK SCREEN WHENEVER I PERFORM A MEMORY SEARCH! NOTHING SHOWS UP!"
Potato kick-stater salad(a potato made of salad kick-starter.)14/25(or 18 if the helping effect works)
The damaged blasting pages && Damaged Transmutation field alternator 5/6 Damaged Warp Zone
I build quickly one school of necromancy(level 0 alchemy does things related to necromancy)
my items
The Reinforcement level 1
Damaged The blasting pages level -1
Damaged Transmutation field alternator level -1
Book of support level 2
I try to attack Godmodder477
I use for that a spell dealing fire damage he says that he is immune to fire then I reveal it was a searing fire spell and so that it ignore fire immunity or resistance he then says that anyway he countered the spell and stroke me 1000000000000000 times in one quarter of second and also that he had snowbluff immunity to fire but I say that it was super snowbluff damage and that I had immunity to countering because I used shielded casting but the godmodder have anti snowbluff damage protection and he have the ability to ignore the ability to be not countered and also I can not block his attacks thanks to the immunity to be blocked of the godmodder but it was in fact super snowbluff damage and ..................................
At the end of this infinite chain of counters I loose because the godmodder godmods but in fact the slowing effect when reading the rules and applying them might make him more likely to be hit by another attack.
Walker: level 1, 491000 damage (Warning - leveling up soon) (5000 per Blue Horror killed, by the way)
Best Pun Ever: 27/50 (+1 from UserZero (Hey, she did do +3 to all PZ players...))
Haven't You Got Slams In Your Jam: 25/25 (+2 from Fseftr, +2 from UserZero)
+2 to Fseftr
Walker grins at the now-targetable players.
"DON'T COMPLAIN. YOU ALL KNEW THAT THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN AT SOME POINT. YOU'VE HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO PREPARE FOR IT ALREADY, MAYBE ONE OR TWO OF YOU COULD'VE DONE WHAT I DID AND ACCEPTED MORTALITY EARLIER IN EXCHANGE FOR POWER... BUT HEY. LIFE SUCKS, AND THEN YOU DIE."
There's a pause, then he checks one of his charges. Noticing that it's complete, he then gives a brief chuckle.
"YOU KNOW WHAT? IN HONOR OF CHARLES BARKLEY, LET'S TAKE IT INTO OVERTIME FOR A LITTLE BIT."
Cue the arrival of...
A truly dandy baller indeed. Judging by his expression, he's also quite angered by the death of Charles Barkley, and would be more than happy to avenge the slain gatekeeper.
Walker uses the distraction of Slammer's rather sudden and unexpected arrival to suddenly pick up the Uncreativity Monster and throw it at the Soul of the Core. I suppose when you really want to mess something up, hurling it in the direction of an enormous rage monster always works.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
GODDAMN IT
STUPID GENDERFLIP VIRUS
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Pretty Pretty, Shiny Shiny: 15/25 ========================= (+1 from Tazz)
A Tactical Genius: 21/50 ================================================== (+1 from Tazz, +2 from generic)
+2 to Crystal
Barkley's entourage was wiped out, and now was the perfect chance to attack! The Empowered Gargoyle Staff glowed with maroon energy, matching that of Bomber's chat color. It began to spray a beam of energy into the air, which quickly began to draw an outline in the air. The dark maroon lines were like a stained glass window, distorting the world's true color if looked through. The outline continued to form, until it finally was done drawing. The space between the lines filled in, forming a three-dimensional shape made out of energy. A large greatsword made of the dark powers within the Empowered Gargoyle Staff floated in the air menacingly.
It danced left and right, oddly agile for such a bulky sword. It then suddenly lurched forward and sliced Barkley with great force, hitting him in the side of his torso hard. The sword didn't stop its momentum, cutting straight through him. The sword kept its momentum going, swinging around and into an upward position. The greatsword's immense weight crashed down on Barkley's right shoulder, shattering the bone and cutting right through him. The dark energies left a horrible stinging pain, and like a twisted knife would leave wounds that would never fully heal.
The sword's form became blurry and started to dissipate, before all of its energy wisps flew back into the Empowered Gargoyle Staff that gave birth to it.
The muttering of the Blue Horrors continued, as they fired their unpredictable volley of Flickering Fire at Barkley, lighting him aflame in a hauntingly beautiful display of blue and purple fire. His skin crackled as he burned, but the fire began to do something very odd. Similar to what the Bolt of Change did to Hoopz, Barkley too began to change, though to a lesser extent. His skin turned into wood before burning away into ash. It then dribbled off in a waterfall of corrosive acid before becoming a pile of skin again on the ground. Eyes would grow and seal shut once more, rending and tearing his skin apart in their presence. The fire soon went out, leaving Barkley in a ruined state. He would never be the same again. A smile tugged at the corners of one of the Blue Horrors' lips, but it was very faint.
Cretrytheum Dust && Bullet Casing = Cretrytheum Bullet (Level 4: 4/5)
UMVAEQLV SPD DWZQWVAW PXDGE WTTI JDQOX
IKL OJEY BEM VCRVMPB DKGSB XXHGACA
JWJVAWA TQDN GZ UXL XTOX BEMAT FPIOA
34/50 Binary Slime
28/30 Badge 4 engie x2
+2 engie
Sandbag AND Anvil 2/?
Upload/Download Cable AND Indigo Flames 1/?
___
Valeera suddenly finds herself burning in a lake of eternal eternity. Eternity is very hot, because it has an n in it, and the name Norman starts with n. Norman is your father in RS/ORAS, and that's the games with Team Magma. Yeah, so eternity is very hot. Valeera is burnt. Yeah.
Pretty Pretty, Shiny Shiny: 16/25 =========================
A Tactical Genius: 22/50 ==================================================
+2 to Crystal
Bomber decided to stay true to his name and pulled out a bomb. It looked very peculiar, seeming to be "growing" clusters of other bombs out of it. Though, he wasn't just going to throw a little bomb like this at Barkley. No, it had to be good. It had to be amazing.
He held the bomb over his head and began to channel energy into it. It began to grow in size, becoming nearly four times, then eight times as large as it was. It seemed impossible that Bomber could hold it, lest move it. But, as skillful as ever, he managed to toss it right at Barkley, the massive bomb soaring through the air.
It crashed into him and exploded violently. The big bomb spewed out many smaller (yet still huge) bombs that also exploded on Barkley. It was a typhoon of destruction as the cluster of explosions came to an end. The field was covered in smoke, smelling of hot brimstone. Bomber loved this sort of thing, taking a whiff of the air.
Cretrytheum Dust && Bullet Casing = Cretrytheum Bullet (Level 4: 5/5)
Alchemy Complete!
Essentially an ice-and-stone version of the Paerotheum Bullets. It hits with the force of a landslide and is said to freeze water and similar substances instantly.
UMVAEQLV SPD DWZQWVAW PXDGE WTTI JDQOX
IKL OJEY BEM VCRVMPB DKGSB XXHGACA
JWJVAWA TQDN GZ UXL XTOX BEMAT FPIOA
OK, I am aware of these missed post things and how absolutely annoying they are, but considering the last update was 62 posts (lets be clear, that's the highest thus far) and had to be separated into two, well...If your post isn't counted, you can repeat your attacks and continue your charges as usual.
3,000 damage to Barkley!
30,000 damage to Barkley!...Focused attacks mean that's your only action in a turn, mind.
You hear whispering...And you realize that's not JUST the little thing you have. From beneath the earth, you hear something equally odd, though it says something different...And at this distance, illegible.
Ho hum.
Richard applies additional bolding. That's there to remind you Barkley is important and doesn't actually confer anything.
You can expend charges at the same time. That was just an oversight, as said above.
16,000 damage to King Bob-Omb! +4,000 HP to the Uncreativity Monster!
What bomb?
Blood-stained Blutsauger && Vampire Knifes && Greater Essence of Life Drain && Spirit of Bloodlust && Blood-stained UserZero Tag && Fruit from the tree of Death= Death unto Life (Level 300: 1/301)
UserZero happily creates this interesting weapon for her own purposes via console commands and admin commands and godmodding and other such things.
The Hoop is damaged, so nothing happens.
5,000 damage to King Bob-Omb!
14,000 damage to Barkley!
... Indigo Flames && Crystal Ball = The Mindwalker (Level 7: 1/8)
3,000 damage to the Heavy Fists Guy!
4,000 damage to King Bob-Omb and Charles Barkley!
.
Yeah no way this isn't going to hurt. 5 Blue Horrors murdered, and 3 damage to the Captain!
Is it odd that, once I sort that all out, that I agree with 90% of that?
You do realize that the reason why people only raise their charges by one is usually because the charge is as strong for how LONG you charged it for. The values are effectively meaningless beyond keeping track. That, and one of those posts was nulled, which means this is 2 3-post charges in total.
I think that was an obvious rule, mate.
Right now, it's Level 5.
6,000 damage to Barkley!
Dueling Pistolwand && Diluted Oblivion Essence = Dust to Dust (Level 7: 1/8)
Marbles && Essence of Illusion = Lost Marbles (Level 3: 1/4)
15,000 damage to Barkley!
You do what to the Gatekepeer?
Going to let you know: Alchemies aren't boosted by charges like in Terraria, AND you can't manually upgrade the Max Level. That requires a certain piece of L00T from the Gatekeepers. Plus, there's also the issue of your first post possibly being nulled due to it being pre-EoTB completion.
Machina || Beggar's Bazooka = Face Exploder^3 (Level 5: 1/6)
Electric Greatsword && Origin Blaze Rod = Flare (Level 25: 1/26)
Origin Blaze Rods: Not exactly known for low-level equipment.
20,000 damage to Barkley!
75,000 damage to Barkley! The shields of Zineous and the Possessed Armors are obliterated! SOMEHOW, he survives the finisher because it was an ORB of energy, thus making it a SPHERE, or rather a BALL, allowing Barkley to activate his Baller techniques to slam it into YOU in a glorious counterattack, causing you to skip a phase. Your body is 'summoned!'
...UserZero immediately takes offense at you for making an alternate zone and immediately smashes the area within, causing the 'door' and sphere to dissapear. Plus, I'LL be judging the attacks for this guy and how much damage they do, though I'll merely make this defense on par with Uncle Grandpa (re: really high to the point where 1 damage is the norm)...PM me the details.
Generic Minecraft Bow && Special UzerZero-themed Designer Portrait = Red Crescent (Level 100: 1/101)
Generic Minecraft Bow && Generic Minecraft Diamond Sword = Diamond Autobow (Level 3: 1/4)
Hoopz is dead! UserZero creates the Red Crescent for her own purposes via the usual godmodding whatnot.
...I officially now lock all attempts to make more gear with anything dealing with UserZero. Or Richard. It's banned, forever, before exploitation of this can get underway. PRE-EMPTIVE BANNING FOR THE GREATER GOOD.
Slumbersand && Indigo Flames = Demonsand (Level 7: 1/8)
7,000 damage to King Bob-omb! +1,000 HP to the Soul of the Core!
8,000 damage to Barkley!
Duly noted.
It will do as you say.
+10,000 HP to Valeera! She will do as you say.
You shield Neo Ultima from attack!
Skarmory Summoned!
The Regen Potions do nothing, but Barkley takes 4,000 damage!
Ho hum.
4,000 damage to Zineous!
Sandbag AND Anvil = Leadbag (Level 1: 1/2)
Big Noise: This weird blow gun shoots darts that cause the afflicted to snore REALLY loudly, so much it can hurt anyone nearby.
Valeera takes 4,000 damage from the power of Mandarian Chinese!
(Terraria Fleeting Lava Charm && Sunstone) || Conversion Scales = Sun Charm 2/5
I wanted to combine all these Hearthstone weapons into one awesome weapon, but I guess that will have to wait.
Judge's scales && blindfold && malachite blade = Sacred Sword (Level 3)
Sacred Sword || Tuning Fork = Sword of Justice (Level 3: 1/4)
Sadly, that'll be hard for me to remember. Also, don't think I didn't notice that Heavy Rain reference.
Barkley's double action is slowed to a singluar action. Of course, you didn't entirely think about everything ELSE on the court in the process, as your glue has also stuck the guarding entities to the floor...Meaning they can't actually do anything. Including guarding. And the hoop's repairs will be finished THIS TURN.
Here's to hoping Barkley dies or something else comes in!
The Space Invaders && PC = The Personal Space Invaders (Level 3: 2/4)
Scribe's Wands || UFO Model = The Xenomorphs (Level 4: 2/5)
You press the Car Keys.
IMMEDIATELY the Glue Problem Talist just presented is solved, as a ridiculously huge mech decides to fall straight from the sky almost immediately after you pressed the button, causing the ground to shake when it lands from its summon! A possessed Armor is knocked right off of the court from his left foot landing just close enough, and it stands up on the court, coincidentally blocking Barkley from size alone! As of right now, there is ONE entity guarding the court. A completely fresh one as well.
This massive mechanical monstrosity, possessing four arms and a different element flowing thorugh each, as well as the toughest metal of an unkonwn black substance and a great deal of weaponry, leers down at you.
"HELLO SIR. I AM DEVASTATOR OBL-SLASH-ELB-SLASH-VOI-SLASH-DEA MODEL NUMBER 901909. I SEE YOU ARE BEREFT OF AN OPERATION MANUEL AND A COMMANDER'S MOTORCYCLE. DISPENSING OPERATION MANUEL AND COMMANDER'S MOTORCYLE."
The mecha proceeds to open up a tiny hatch on its right arm, and then drop the Operation Manuel at your feet. He then opens up a hatch on its left leg, revealing a sweet new Motorcycle made of the same black material.
"TAKE THIS TIME TO READ OVER THE OPERATION MANUAL TO LEARN HOW I OPERATE SO THAT YOU MAY GIVE ME PROPER COMMANDS."
You decide to take its advice, despite it misspelling manuel twice now. Fortunately, the instructions are simple. You're the only one to read it, so this means the Operation of the Devastator is yours!
The Devastator is a powerful entity with Double Action, made of Blackguard (the toughest material you've ever seen in your life, and that applies to almost all of you) to enhance durability and a powerful quad-elemental bomb launcher, though it takes a while to phase it in. in addition, it has four passive modes, each used by channeling a specific energy. The Devastator has access to 4.
And of course, there's the charge itself: 4-0, which allows the Devastator to generate a powerful elemental Railgun shot composed of all four energies from its chest, then firing it with a precision lock-on, making it guarenteed to do undodgeable damage to one entity and moderate splash to two others of choice. It has a chargeup of 6 turns, and it's somewhat weak for that duration...But of course, you have a mode that can theoretically halve that chargetime, making it somewhat strong for its duration instead.
Regardless of that, Uncle Grandpa will do as you say.
It might be the gray text, mate. In any case, I feel your pain, so +10,000 HP to Barkley.
Generally, 20K is OK for a 50-post charge. It'll certainly be doing less than is normal for a 20-post charge, though its mechanic can see it doing MUCH more if used properly. Supression Turrets summoned!
9,000 damage to Barkley!
They'll do as you say.
...OK then.
And suddenly it dawns upon me, Dwarf Fortress. But of course. I salute you for managing to keep that a secret that long.
11,000 damage to King Bob-Omb!
Nerf Batt II Potion of Weakness II Potion of Slowness = "Nerf" Bat (Level 10: 1/11)
A bat with the power of Nerfing entities is powerful indeed.
You toss the Cross into the Demon Portal. You're not sure that did anything.
He'll do as you say.
5,000 damage to Barkley!
Flailblade: It's quite literally a sword with a chain between the blade and hilt. Not very practical, but interesting to watch.
Absurdly Sharp Blade: It's REALLY sharp. Nothing else to say on this.
Flailblade && Absurdly Sharp Blade = Absurdly Sharp Flailblade (Level 4: 1/5)
Jam && Tiny Star = Space Jam (Level 1: 1/2)
In the post-cyberpocalypse, one must be sharp and resourceful! as such, Barkley throws his two balls in the air to catch the soccer ball and sends it back to you before resuming his constant dribble of the two Basketballs. Quite skillful.
The World's Most Beautiful Thing dies from your careless grenade toss! Everything else looks at you VERY badly for that...Welp. This EoTB will be short.
Can I ask why you have those boosts in reserve? I mean, it's quite blatantly obvious that you have them.
4,000 damage to Barkley!
8,000 damage to Barkley!
They'll do as you say.
Upload/Download Cable AND Indigo Flames = Thoughtorrent (Level 7: 1/8)
6,000 damage to Valeera!
8,000 damage to Barkley!
With all these attacks, if Barkley lives after all of this, I'll be genuinely surprised.
...And lo, after all of this, Barkley survives. Barely.
You've gotta give this guy credit for surviving all of that. I mean, seriously.
With the Gatekeeper Slain, the energy barrier separating all of you from UserZero is now gone. Richard walks up to it slowly, methodically, giving UserZero THE most smug grin possible. UserZero herself, however, has completely lost her smile. Her experession is totally neutral. Disturbingly neutral. Not even a twitch, not even as Richard pulls out his Prototype Banhammer and gives it a floruish.
A second passes.
Richard expected reprisal, but he shrugs off the lack of an attack and proceeds to start on the barrier.
Whack! The Banhammer collides with the crimson dome! However, unlike every other attack before it, this one leaves visible damage. crack marks, like it was made of glass.
Whack! The cracks grow larger, starting to stretch across the dome.
Whack!
Whack!
Whack!
With every blow of the Banhammer, the first barrier between you and Yggdrasil becomes more and more damaged. Finally, it comes to a point where every inch of the barrier is covered in cracks, like smashed glass. A breath could fell it.
Richard breathes in...
...And out.
And just like that, the whole thing falls, dying not with a bang, but with a whimper, as the energy simply fades away-though a small part of it connects with another barrier in the distance.
Throughout it all, UserZero just kept standing there, staring. Richard takes this time to +2 the Scribe and Bomber.
Godmodder477: 100% winrate, huh?
Godmodder477: Not anymore!
Godmodder477: UserZero! This is it!
Godmodder477: Appreciate this fight, because it's going to be your last dance!
Godmodder477: I WILL take your place, no matter what!
Godmodder477: I WILL become the ultimate Godmodder!
Godmodder477: NOTHING you can do can stop me! No defense, No-
UserZero: Tuba Boy.
UserZero: Shut up.
And he does. Everyone does. Even the PZs. No-one dares to TWITCH. Proper capitalization out of UserZero is quite a rare sight, and you can only imagine she's considerably more angry than she's letting on right now. Or something worse.
UserZero: He was the first Gatekeeper for a reason, you know.
UserZero: Least expensive to lose.
UserZero: Sorting Algorithm of Evil and all that.
UserZero: Narrative loves enforcing it and all that.
UserZero: Pity. This would have been over already if I could get my way on this.
UserZero: Granted, all things considered, Barkley came very close there, didn't he?
UserZero: The clutch interception at the last second, just like a sports classic.
UserZero: The clutch interception on a man who is not only 89 years old, but had nearly been torn to tiny shreds by the attacks beforehand, witnessed the death of his son and two friends, and the interception was done by a reality warping menace.
UserZero: And yet, it was all too close. Imagine, just a bit more damage, and your own stupidity would have felled you all.
UserZero: And that's the first Gatekeeper.
UserZero: What's the second like?
UserZero: Or the third?
UserZero: What are you in for? How long is this even?
UserZero: ...You don't even know anything other than a few near-pointless numbers.
UserZero: But I can't ignore the fact you defeated Barkley when he went undefeated beforehand.
UserZero: As such. You are no longer n00bs.
You're...Not sure whether or not to take that well. Richard, at least, realizes that, while she's standing perfectly still in a Princess Peach cosplay, now would be the best time to attempt an attack! He rushes in, dual-wielding both of his weapons.
He expects to use one of his sick-nasty godmods to get around whatever defense UserZero planned for this moment.
Nothing happens.
Absolutely nothing happens except the sound of steel impacting a skull.
3 damage to UserZero! But...She doesn't move an inch.
UserZero: Oh. Sorry.
UserZero: I was supposed to move there a few blocks?
She proceeds to move back 10 blocks, stepping slowly. You don't follow. Not immediately. Something is up and you are too smart to approach.
UserZero: You see now?
UserZero: It's all just a joke.
UserZero: But this? This is a really bad joke.
UserZero: And it's one that's been repeated Ad Infinitum.
UserZero: The Joke here, being, that you think you have a chance.
UserZero: Let me be the first to say that...Yes, you do, honestly.
...What.
UserZero: Antis. Slayers. Everyone, really.
UserZero: It's clear that, as you are not n00bs, you are fully capable of reaching Yggdrasil with your own power.
UserZero: As such, you are now threats.
UserZero: As such, you are also deserving of my full arsenal as the Omega-Plus Godmodder, with as little restraint as I can muster under the OP Scale.
UserZero: After all, you've earned it. You've gotten farther than anyone else.
UserZero: Even if the goal is so far away.
UserZero: As such, I believe it is time to up the ante on my defense and truly bring the game up to the mark it's been given.
UserZero: Welcome to the Big Girls League.
UserZero leans down and grabs her dress-which, you now notice, is twitching quite oddly. That just can't be good.
UserZero: Enjoy.
UserZero pulls up her dress, and within is SOMETHING. It is most clearly not her legs-you bet there was some shenanigans going on with it. Calling it darkness is not appropriate. Calling it nothingness was equally failing to describe it. And yet, the instant it appeared, every player (with the exception of Walker) was suddenly and swiftly dragged into whatever it is...Or maybe you flung yourselves headfirst into it? It was quite hard to tell. When sucked inside, a massive dark void awaited you, and whispers filled your ears as the inexplicable blackness surrounded you.
The whispering only said one thing. It is repeated, over and over and over and over again, static, relentless, but so soft you can barely hear it.
Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum.
You feel a force surround every last one of your bodies. Even the most powerful among you cannot even twitch for the life of you.
Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum.
You try to shout, try to even think, but it appears every feasible action available to you is shut and closed.
Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum, Ad Infinitum.
You black out, completely unsure of what was happening, with an exception: Pain. An inexplicable pain that came from everywhere within your body at once.
Ad Infinitum. 01000001 01100100 00100000 01001001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01110101 01101101
A few seconds after you were sucked in from the perspective of richard, Walker and UserZero, a black portal appeared above the battlefield. containing the same Inexplicable Blackness. It proceeded to spit everyone out, completely intact, surprisingly. Nothing had appeared to happen. Or nothing noticeable. The entities proceeded to continue their murder of Jondanger for the destruction of the World's Most Beauitful thing..
Of course, since the Narrative had already alerted Humanibli (and thus you) that Player Vulnerability was coming after you beat Barkley...WEll, they succeeed at this point, and after a second of screaming from him, Jondanger is dead.
UserZero's smile has, meanwhile, returned, with her dress making odd movements that seem quite independent of her. You will never think of Princess Peach in the same way again.
UserZero: ah, the umbral one.
UserZero: it's such a treat to see him in action.
UserZero: or not really, i don't see what happens.
UserZero: certainly know the results, though!
UserZero: have fun with that vulnerability again.
UserZero: ...getting all worked up over one benchmark isn't healthy, me.
The Princess Peach cosplay completely vanishes, and UserZero reverts to her standard self. Thank goodness for once. She stretches around, ready to rejoin the fray in full.
UserZero: now then.
UserZero: where were we?
UserZero +3's her Pro-Zero allies.
The Alchemiter starts humming oddly as an odd flash of light descends upon it! Everyone not engaged with UserZero's actions at this point notices the flashing of an Orange Blue pulse around the Alchemiter! It fades quickly, but you realize something about it-it's been upgraded to level 10! It can now support Level 10 Alchemies (at last!).
Of course, there's one other thing that's changed...Player Vulnerability is back. Whatever the Umbral One did was to blame, but that's quite irrelevant. Walker's early adoption has stealthily paid off, it seems, as he's now on equal footing with the rest of you, and technically more so due to his leveling system. Each of you can now be targeted, and if you die, you will spend the next turn respawning and returning to the Battlefield (after all, it's pretty far away from spawn now). While respawning, you can do NOTHING: No charge, no gain of assists, no giving assists, no attack, no Entity Orders, NOTHING. You can only respawn if you post saying so, as well (though this is mostly to make sure you're still playing). In addition, getting HP/Armor isn't going to be as easy as it was during DTG2: you're going to need to REALLY save up charge for that. Of course, Alchemies can help with the latter issue, but only so much. On the flipside, with some charge, you can make yourselves like entities, giving YOURSELVES complicated mechanics and whatnot. PM me any ideas on this much, though, especially if it involves damage-ups and such.
If you've been forgotten in the Player HP lineup below, let me know, because I can be forgetful about this kind of thing.
Terrain: Pavement (really flat, but has no standard effect)
Weather: Clear (no effect)
[N] sigmatw: 20/20 HP.
[N] The_Serpent: 20/20 HP.
[N] CobaltShade: 20/20 HP.
[N] PitTheAngel: 20/20 HP.
[N] Slingshot: 20/20 HP.
[GS] nulitor: 20/20 HP.
[GS] NinjaV2403: 20/20 HP.
[GS] Crusher48: 20/20 HP.
[GS] ProofofconcepT: 20/20 HP.
[GS] TheDrivingLlama: 20/20 HP.
[GS] DarkSide Ultima: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] FINALBATTLESTARTSNOW: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] The_Topazian: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] insert_generic_username: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Hezetor: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Bomber57: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] MegaMinEr69: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Cusionmantis: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] tc2142: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] ManiacMasteR: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Irecreeper: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Crystalcat: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Babysphee: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] TheLordErelye: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Pricey12345: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] ninjatwist321: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Nimbleguy: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Doctor Shiny: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] TwinBuilder/The Scribe: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Jondanger23: 0/20 HP.
[AZ] Talist: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] dylamb6: 20/20 HP.
[AZ] Babysphee: 20/20 HP.
[PZ] Fseftr: 20/20 HP.
[PZ] engie_ninja/Walker: 14/20 HP.
[PZ] TT2000: 20/20 HP
[N] Wizard of Yendor: 122,000/122,000 HP. Summon Nasties: [|||] Aggrivate Monsters: [|||] Double-Trouble: [|||||]
[N] SWAT Team: 10,000/10,000 HP x5 Defends the CSI Cyber Investigation Team and Cyber Portal.
[N] CSI Cyber Portal: 20,000 HP. summons a SWAT team each turn.
[N] CSI Cyber Investigation Team. Can possibly find evidence. Arrest Warrent: [||||||||||]
[N] Humanibli: 50,000/50,000 HPx3. Gains damaged as he's killed. Entities must not be invincible to damage him!
[N] Solar Monolith: 67,000/75,000 HP. Projects up to 3 Shields on entities.
[N-BOSS] Soul of the Core: Heads: 38,900/100,000 HP x2; 41,900/100,000 HP x1; Body: 1,500,000/1,455,800 HP. Body has high defense. Body occasionally sucks in attacks not aimed at it. Triple-Action while all heads are alive; double action if two are alive. Inflicts Gravcrush on all entities it attacks/is attacked by. Wildfire Waltz: [|||] Gravity Falls: [||||] Terminus: [|||||] Takes reduced damage from Player actions while atomicAmiable is active; Takes reduced damage from Entity actions while antimatterAugry is active.
[GS] Doge: 5,000/5,000 HP (does not attack unless an entity on its team is attacked first, will bodyguard for allies, respawns 1 round after death if there are still allied entities present). Will Guard the Hoop if any Defenders die.
[GS] The Captain: 11/20 HP.
[GS] Crocidibli: 85,500/95,000. Targets Mibibli nigh-exclusively until death. Won't die unless Death Conditions are met. Levitator Enforcer: [||||]
[AZ] Blue Horrors: 5,000/5,000 x18. Attack individually, but have REALLY low accuracy. Each Pink Horror (or two Blue Horrors) add a charge to Bolt of Change. Bolt of Change: [||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||] (This is one charge, just split into units of 10 for easy measure.)
[AZ] Valeera: 150,000/200,000 HP. Mana: 4/10. Gains +1 Mana at the START of each turn. HAND: (3) Shattered Sun Cleric, (5) Assassin's Dagger, (1) Deadly Poison, (5) Assassination, (3) Ironfur Grizzly. Sleuthhack: [||||] Severe Burn: [|||] Gravcrush: [|||||]
[AZ] Uncreativity Monster: 79,000/67,500 HP. Decays by 10K HP until at max HP value. Gains HP with Uncreative attacks aimed at it.
[AZ] Neo Ultima: 40,000/75,000 HP. Defended from harm! Severely Burned: [|||] Gravcrush: [|||||]
[AZ] Storm: 110,000/215,000 HP. May change weather to Thunderstorm. Unaffected by Weather. Breath of the Void: [|||]
[AZ] Stone: 205,000/215,000 HP. Clay Men: 20,000/20,000 HP x1. Summons a Clay Man every turn to defend it. Taste of the Garden: [|||] Gravcrush: [|||||]
[AZ] Factory (owned by Hezetor): 55,000/55,000 HP. Maxis E344 Production: [||]
[AZ] Maxis E344: 50,000/50,000 HP. Shields: 20,000/20,000 HP, +7,500 per turn. Grenade: 1-use Splash Damage.
[AZ] Uncle Grandpa: 9/10 HP. High defense.
[AZ] Zineous: 206,000/210,000 HP. Defending the Hoop! Glued, no action!
[AZ] Possessed Armors: 50,000/50,000 HP x2. One is Defending the Hoop! Both are Glued, No action!
[AZ] Skarmory: 80,000/80,000 HP. High Defense.
[AZ] The Devastator: 200,000/200,000 HP. Current Supercharge: Electric Blender. 4-0: [||||||]
[AZ] Supression Turrets: 15,000/15,000 HP x6. Can only attack once every other turn without player assistance.
[PZ] King Bob-Omb: 103,000/150,000 HP. Detonation: [||]
[PZ] Heavy Fists Guy who Just Ate Chocolate: 53,500/125,000 HP. Can only attack in retaliation! Guarding the Abnormally Large Voidtouched Chicken.
[PZ] Mibibli: 3,000/20,000 (x4). Targets Crocidibli nigh-exclusively until death. Won't die unless Death Conditions are met. The Mibible: [||||||||]
[PZ] Hatred of Formatting: 114,000/125,000 HP. More likely to dodge if an attack has formatting.
[PZ] Abnormally Large Voidtouched Chicken: 172,000/200,000 HP. Has Sure Aim!
[PZ] Pretzel Elemental: 34,000/50,000 HP. Everyone except Richard is hesitant to damage it.
[AZ-γ] Godmodder477: 40/50 HP.
[GM] UserZero: 135/150 HP. Behind the Barrier-invulnerable.
Distance to Yggdrasil: 4500. Locked until the Gatekeeper is slain!
The Armory (in the spoilers)
[||||] The Power Cleaner: READY. Owner: Bomber57 [AZ]
2/10 Fusing them to the Lavamoble making it the Lava Rigku
2/10 Summoning some of my summoning powers
/null
Didn't check to see if tazz posted
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We be doomed. Oh well, still gonna keep this on-hand, since its so cool.
Other such things? Did a wizard do it?
Bored waiting on rest of update, time to bringe-read homestruck so i can get half of what is going on
inb4 userzero drops it as a spoil /null
Posts may contain high amounts of stupid.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
I think it's MY turn to act now, Sigmatic.
Fine. Just don't try to kill us.
Ok, I guard.
Summoning Entity: 8/35
Counter: 8/50
I'll be making my great escape now!
8/50 Operation "Artifact is Go"
9/10 Assault Team Omega
Inventory:
Data Crystal (Level 1)
Chaos Control "Sword" (Level 5)
Holocrom Datea Storige (Level 0)
Shockjewel Armor (Level 3)
/null
No matter who wins, this can't end well...people like you should be burning in...you know, that place.
As usual, the only way to end a war for good is to discover its beginning...and end that beginning.
So, Uzi. Sorry to let you know, but this is as far as you go.
"lol ur stooped im God."
"Actually, as the omnipotent creator of this universe, I think I fit the bill more than some bearded guy who can't escape from some rope."
OFFICIAL REPLY FROM TAZZ:
Just tell him for me that the laser came from an Orb, and Barkley Manipulated the Orb to fire the laser at him.
And tell him that if his 'above godlike' powers would prevent it.
Remind him about the OP scale.
And that it's a function of the Narrative that practically seems to be the source of a majority of his power ΞSPΞC|ALLY, given his dialouge.
Defender of the Happy Ξnding sounds like a Champion of the Narrative.
A champion of the narrative sounds like someone the Narrative would be making ΞXTRA sure was powerful for its reasons.
/null
Cat drawn by me. Accepting requests, depending on a lot of things. DTG Atsume: http://www.imgur.com/a/tij95
1'-[7']-{'3}-'3-'3 '6-11'-7'-6'-7' '1-{'3}-8'-12'-'3-2'
'10-'5-'8-'11 1'-[7']-8'-7'-'3 '2-11'-2'-'9-7'
'10-'5-'3-'3 1'-[7']-'3 '10-8'-{'3}-['10]-4'-7'
'10-{'3}-'3-'3-'6-8'-4' {'3}-11'-2'-'9-7'
Spam restoration: http://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/forums/forum-discussion-info/2195940-posts-threads-deleted-because-of-spam-filter-place
Official DTG Cards Against Humanity suggestion pad: http://piratepad.net/DTGCAH
Walker: level 1, 491000 damage (Warning - leveling up soon) (5000 per Blue Horror killed, by the way)Best Pun Ever: 26/50Haven't You Got Slams In Your Jam: 25/25 (+2 from Fseftr, +2 from UserZero)+2 to FseftrAh'm moovin' this!Walker re-reads the rules section, notices the bit about how he has to wait until after the EoTB is announces, and curses at missing his chance to steal the spoil of war.
GODDAMN IT
STUPID GENDERFLIP VIRUS
Pre-finished update action. this was done as a draft. /null
2
Posts may contain high amounts of stupid.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
Ladies and Gentlmen...This took far too long, though at least it was done all in a go. In any case, the Update is finished, any posts prior to this announcement are hereby null.
...I'm gonna update the Intro Post with this info.
2319 charge boosts in reserve50/50 This World... SLAAAAAAM
50/50 Has No Need For Gods DUUUUUUUNK
... Indigo Flames && Crystal Ball = The Mindwalker (3/8)
Olimar's Whistle >Fine 4/5
+2 Bomber
I ninja loot the Zeroth B-Ball. NOW I CAN MURDER THE SOUL OF THE CORE. GET DUUUUUUUUNKED OOOOOOOON!!!! I expend both my charges, flip my gravity towards the Soul, and SMASH THE ZEROTH BALL INTO THE CORE'S HEADS AT FULL FORCE. I then teleport the Soul of the Core into the ocean. No, I don't really care about how creative my actual attacks are. This is why I make the alchemies, grab the spoils, spam the basic attacks, make the charges. It's how I operate. ... Anyways, I pull out another Monado, how many of those things are there even, and cut off all of the Core's heads.
Cat drawn by me. Accepting requests, depending on a lot of things. DTG Atsume: http://www.imgur.com/a/tij95
1'-[7']-{'3}-'3-'3 '6-11'-7'-6'-7' '1-{'3}-8'-12'-'3-2'
'10-'5-'8-'11 1'-[7']-8'-7'-'3 '2-11'-2'-'9-7'
'10-'5-'3-'3 1'-[7']-'3 '10-8'-{'3}-['10]-4'-7'
'10-{'3}-'3-'3-'6-8'-4' {'3}-11'-2'-'9-7'
Spam restoration: http://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/forums/forum-discussion-info/2195940-posts-threads-deleted-because-of-spam-filter-place
Official DTG Cards Against Humanity suggestion pad: http://piratepad.net/DTGCAH
Crafting:
The Loose Cannon && Haunted Demoman Soul && Haunted Eyelander soul = 3/8 Make the World go Blind
"HA͜H̛AHAHA̵HA͘HA͞H͡! ̀HA͠hh̨ah҉a̢h͏áh̸a.̀.͠.."҉ "Oųr̢ ̕death̢
͝h͟a̡s ͏tr̛ul̸y҉ ͞begųn̡!͘" ̡"̴i su̴p̨p̴o̵s̴e t͜his ͢i͝s the ̧p̢oint͞
WHER҉E͝ ͘WE A͞L͝L͞ DI͞E̡!͏?"
̸
҉"҉h͘a̕h̕ah̴a̕s̡ha̕h͢"͘
̶
"͟I ̀don̢t ̷t̕h̢ink͜ so͠.̷..̴
͡
҉"T̸hi̵s҉ ͡m͘akes͟ ̷t̀h̵e j̕o͢b o̸f̢ kil͜ling ̡the͘ en̕em̶y ̴SO MU͡CḨ E̴A҉S͏IER!̶..̷"͝
Empowered in Topaz: 13/13
I use much of my charge energy to infuse my body with Topaz, turning me into Topaz!BattleFury
Topaz Battlefury
25/25 ((5 increase per gemlevel,
Can upgrade to Emerald Battlefury after a certain amount of damage and or charges
Resistant to damage due to being made of a gem
The Topaz Frying Pan has become the Gemsword!
Gemsword: Upgrades with Battlefury.. Currently topaz. Provides a damage bonus
Magic-based attacks are scattered around Battlefury due to the reflective nature of gems. At lower levels this is mostly irrelevent.
Below: leveling up mechanices
Leveling Up Mechanics:
The gem teir system follows that of Terraria.
At each level up, i gain: 5 HP
Damage buffs
Greater damage resistance
At levels 2, 4, 6 and 7 i gain extra skills, and at 6 and 7 i can choose a passive ((such as Sure aim or Evasive))
The Gemsword:
Melded from the Topaz Frying pan (Which, i might remind you, is half-diamond sword), the Gemsword provides an damage boost, and can gain its own set of passives.
It can gain one of the Generic Minecraft Set of Boosts each level, with Diamond allowing for me to remove one trait and gain a -1 trait (if thats not OP). The strenght of the Generic Minecraft Bonus's increased by 1+ per level.
Currently, i have Damage 1+ as a starting boost
10/11 Emerald Upgrade
i ninja/bullrush the Zeroth Ball if generic does not have it. If he ninjaed it, then i present the blueprints for the Death unto Life to richard and warn him about UserZero having a copy.
EDIT: adjusted hp
Posts may contain high amounts of stupid.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
(I was forgotten in the Player HP lineup.)
I roundhouse the Hatred of Formatting in the face.
//Charges//
Orbital Facepalm Cannon: 2/50
Shard Kinesis: 2/10
//Alchemies//
Machina || Beggar's Bazooka = Face Exploder^3 (Level 5: 2/6)
Potato kick-stater salad(a potato made of salad kick-starter.)14/25(or 18 if the helping effect works)
The damaged blasting pages && Damaged Transmutation field alternator 5/6 Damaged Warp Zone
I build quickly one school of necromancy(level 0 alchemy does things related to necromancy)
my items
The Reinforcement level 1
Damaged The blasting pages level -1
Damaged Transmutation field alternator level -1
Book of support level 2
I try to attack Godmodder477
I use for that a spell dealing fire damage he says that he is immune to fire then I reveal it was a searing fire spell and so that it ignore fire immunity or resistance he then says that anyway he countered the spell and stroke me 1000000000000000 times in one quarter of second and also that he had snowbluff immunity to fire but I say that it was super snowbluff damage and that I had immunity to countering because I used shielded casting but the godmodder have anti snowbluff damage protection and he have the ability to ignore the ability to be not countered and also I can not block his attacks thanks to the immunity to be blocked of the godmodder but it was in fact super snowbluff damage and ..................................
At the end of this infinite chain of counters I loose because the godmodder godmods but in fact the slowing effect when reading the rules and applying them might make him more likely to be hit by another attack.
Alchemies
SCP-109 && Reinforced Hose && High-Pressure Pump = Pump Them Up (4/5)
Oh screw it, just make it already: SCP-2223-A Figurine && Tallow Golem = Magical Anime Girl Golem (1/10)
Charges
Project M06-Internationalization (26/50) (+1 from Ire)
Project M07-The Phonetician (7/50)
+2 to Pit
Action
I cheer at the defeat of Charles Barkley. I then rage at the fact that player health is a thing.
All the mixed feelings aside, I pull out a hammer and toss it at King Bob-omb. I'm out of ideas.
Entity Command
The Wizard of Yendor uses Summon Nasties and attacks King Bob-omb. The summoned monsters join him in his assault on King Bob-omb.
Comment
Seems a little early to implement a player health system.
Walker: level 1, 491000 damage (Warning - leveling up soon) (5000 per Blue Horror killed, by the way)
Best Pun Ever: 27/50 (+1 from UserZero (Hey, she did do +3 to all PZ players...))
Haven't You Got Slams In Your Jam: 25/25 (+2 from Fseftr, +2 from UserZero)
+2 to Fseftr
Walker grins at the now-targetable players.
"DON'T COMPLAIN. YOU ALL KNEW THAT THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN AT SOME POINT. YOU'VE HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO PREPARE FOR IT ALREADY, MAYBE ONE OR TWO OF YOU COULD'VE DONE WHAT I DID AND ACCEPTED MORTALITY EARLIER IN EXCHANGE FOR POWER... BUT HEY. LIFE SUCKS, AND THEN YOU DIE."
There's a pause, then he checks one of his charges. Noticing that it's complete, he then gives a brief chuckle.
"YOU KNOW WHAT? IN HONOR OF CHARLES BARKLEY, LET'S TAKE IT INTO OVERTIME FOR A LITTLE BIT."
Cue the arrival of...
A truly dandy baller indeed. Judging by his expression, he's also quite angered by the death of Charles Barkley, and would be more than happy to avenge the slain gatekeeper.
Walker uses the distraction of Slammer's rather sudden and unexpected arrival to suddenly pick up the Uncreativity Monster and throw it at the Soul of the Core. I suppose when you really want to mess something up, hurling it in the direction of an enormous rage monster always works.
GODDAMN IT
STUPID GENDERFLIP VIRUS