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Also... plasma bullets for the Telklacki Forcebarrage? I was expecting high-velocity lead rounds, but whatever floats your theoretical boat.
Supression Turrets: 16/20
Leviathan: 6/30
I use fantastic energy from the Blood Plane to summon an endlessly fueled Brimstone beam at Balthios James! Brimstone pierces everything and he cannot block it!
AA reappears from disinterest with DTG and slams Richard in the face with an endless stream of UserZeros. The UserZeros are not real, of course, but they are so realistic that they leave Richard in shock, making the real UserZero's next attack against him much more likely to hit.
Since apparently I can do charges and alchemies at the same time...
1/40
I feel as though it would be a good idea to help Barkley make it to Chaos Dunk...
I walk up to any AZ entities on the field, trying to block Hoops Barkley! If there aren't any(SOMEHOW) I prioritize the Goblin Auto-Barber instead. If there's more than 1, I go for the weakest, HP-wise.
I show the entity a card, and ask them to tell me what it is. They do. It's the 19 of Tuxedos. I'm not using a standard deck. I shuffle it in with the other 73 cards, and then pull the card off the top. I ask them "Is this your card"? It's the 3 of Fancy Hats. The entity says no. I scream "WRONG ANSWER" while turning the card around-it has "17 of tuxedos" on the back! As punishment for answering the question wrong, the entity is forced to descend into a mystical portal. He can select which land it takes him to, for an hour of fun there! There are five options:
Candy Land
Happiness land
Cool People Training Land
Buzzsaw Death Land
Land of Peace
He selects "Candy Land". I respond with "whoops, why did I put a board game name in there? Please select something else."
He goes for Happiness land next. I say "Ah, man! Sorry, but 'land' isn't capitalized, the grammar nazi in me won't let you go there."
Getting concerned, he hits "Cool People Training Land". I tell him he's not cool enough.
Really panicking, he goes for "Land of Peace". I say okay... oh wait, nevermind! That land's at maximum capacity right now: 0 people, since that's the only way it can ever be peaceful!
"Oh, would you look at that! There's only one option left. I'll hit it for you!"
You can probably guess what happens to the entity for the next hour.
(IT'S BUZZSAW DEATH)
(FINE. Generic Minecraft Bow && Richard Themed Designer Bow)
@Tazz I just wanted to say a thing about Scolippi, since his stand was automatic and guided by FATE itself, the destruction was irrelevant for the user and the stand itself should reform briefly after the explosion, but if you think that his mechanic was bad or something else it is fine. Does my factory (10 post charge created to be a proper entity still exist?).
I wonder if the impact destroyed the larvaes, you know they were just spawned and ultra resistant to damage, eh.
Anyway since my char is too proud to do it I'll shed a tear for all the beautiful zergs killed.
The IMTE work on Leetuma (mostly paperwork) will not disappear, their charges will be used in the future by someone else (10/40) their bodies may have been destroyed but their legacy will live on.
This "B-Ball"...this power... this is new... let's see what it is exactly...
Hezetor proceeds to cast a series of spells to identify both B-Balls and Charles Barkley, the first one is Identify, that will (probably) allow him to understand the magic proprieties of an object.
He activates Truth seeing, this spell allows him to see everything as it is really, without illusions or tricks. (a creature morphed in something will be saw as it is really).
Then it uses Analyze Dweomer an improved version of Identify that will show all magical proprieties of an object, his function when it was created, how to activate the object, how long ago was created and with what spells.
To conclude he tries to determine the nature of the energy by scan-analyzing the remains of the energy in the area.
If my factory exist it will produce:
Maxis v1.2 E344
HP:50.000
Shield: 20.000 (+5000 per turn)
This is stuff that has not changed.
This is a standard warrior bot, has been created with the purpose of being able to operate in all climates, his relatively simple structure allow a faster production,but super heavy materials were used in a perfect combination between agility and resistance, by themselves they are not armed, but come with an included plasma rifle capable of doing his job in killing biological life forms.
The plasma rifle is not included inside of the robot to avoid some construction flaws of the past.
They are capable of managing their weapons well, a generic AI allows them to use most simple weapons very well, so expect accuracy.
Their AI is nicely made, they will try to take proper cover and they have at least the ability to do not damage allies while fighting.
Thanks to the recent upgrades of the factory the E344 unit posses an integrated shield of energy capable of reforming over time, clearly is necessary to destroy the shield before it is possible to attack the robot.
The new Factory produced nano-machines inside the body of every unit, these little guys will slowly heal all damage done to the creature as long as it is alive.
The module of weapon production allowed this new version of the Maxis to bring a refined Laser Gun, giving it more damage.
Did I mention that all of them are armed with a plasma grenade that will cause AOE damage? (plasma manipulation + weapon production)
I walk up to Hoops Barkley and give him the QUANTUM SUIT OF ULTIMATE QUANTUMNESS that is REALLY SMALL. He attaches it to his body in an attack-blocking way, and the next person or thing to attack Barkley will not only have their attack fail, but be shoved into a painfully tiny suit of armor! With thorns inside! Because!
The Relative: 50/50 =================================================== (+6 from jondanger, +3 from Pricey, +2 from Kayne, the Godmodder, and Erelye, +1 from Tazz)
Lightsaber || Fan = Multi-Bladed Lightsaber(3/3) COMPLETE
Scribe's Wands && Arcade Cabinet = The Space Invaders (3/4)
I +2 Erelye as thanks for him being the inspiration for this attack.
Cerberus uses Eruption and passively uses Condition! Pilcrow uses Never the End! Or not, because of course the second I rejoin this game the entities I put a lot of work into go down the drain before I can command them.
I don't summon The Relative just yet.
The Scribe hastily flips through his Journal. "Time to find the good stuff. ...A-ha! Perfect!" The Scribe flips to a two-page section depicting Archaic Sorcery. There are a lot of diagrams, mathematical equations, ancient runes and symbols, and images of apparent tears in space and wands. The section reads as follows: One of the oldest forms of magic in the universe, Archaic Sorcery was developed in tune to the Elemental Planes of Existence, of which there are eleven thousand. It can only be wielded by a sorcerer who has been trained in the Element for many years and has complete mastery of it. They can then completely align themselves with said Element and become truly one with it, using their magical powers to further their Element's path. Written in bold next to it is the following: DO NOT ATTEMPT IF YOU ARE UNALIGNED. In small text next to that is: Possible side-effects for unaligned archaic sorcery may include boils, malformed organs, a withering touch, an instant lobotomy, severe heart attack, spiritual enlightenment, diabetes, sleep paralysis, paralysis, brain paralysis, seizures, mind control, a revoked magician's license, an exile from the magic community, haphazard teleportation, loss of limbs, sublimation, freezing of blood, cancer, and/or death.
Shutting his book, the Scribe takes out a copper coin inscribed with the image of a waffle. "A coin for every element... Yes, this collection is certainly extensive. It took a lot of illegal trading to get these. Thankfully, an unaligned Archaic Sorcerer can summon an aligned Sorcerer by flipping the corresponding Elemental Coin, getting it to stand on its edge, and saying the chosen Element. The language you speak the Element augments how many Sorcerers appear, I believe, so this should work."
The Scribe flips the coin with a hesitant expression, watching it tumble through the air and land... tails. He sighs. "Here we go." The Scribe flips the coin again. Heads. Again. Heads. Again. Tails. Again. Heads. Again. Tails. Again. Tails. Again. Heads. This repeats for several hundred flips until he gives up, throwing the coin far away into the air and losing sight of it. The coin hits a passing bird, bouncing off of it. It tumbles through several trees, knocking an apple off of an oak branch. The apple tumbles down a hill, entering a giant cave. It bounces across the stones and ores in the cave, breaking open. The scent of the apples attract some zombies who mistake it for flesh since they can't smell. A hundred zombie swarm to the area at once, the pressure they put on the ground cracking the cave and open and creating a massive sinkhole that disrupts an entire biome. The coin, still in flight, is disrupted by the shockwave this event creates, causing the coin to lose all its spin and letting it sink like a stone down to the ground, the wind carrying it right next to the Scribe. The stone skips and spins along the ground until it lands at the Scribe's feet - on its edge. He blinks twice, speechless.
"Well then. Time to say the magic word, literally speaking." The Scribe clears his throat and says a word that no one recognizes.
The Elemental Coin of Waffles sparks with copper lightning, energy bursting forth from it, creating a column of fire that towers across the sky. The power of the Scribe's language - whatever it is - seems to have had a massive effect. An entourage of nine people clad in brown cloaks jump out of the fire, running around in a circle near the Scribe. He looks at the Journal. "The wardrobe, the jumping through fire... It all checks out. You're definitely Archaic Sorcerers." The fire dies down, and one of the Sorcerers speaks. "Seqq, zj ukuwxp aw wrj. Bsc okuqiy'x ta? Osqj yk, phtxp azk hfap tjwcynniv iefstryhexx xeyec ktc xzkuxfyhk kf djlvk, sozqo twnmfsprlhy iwpwk hipj hi taltsriv wt f btdsndnsr ggjvjsemgj." The Scribe rolls his eyes. "Right. I forgot you all had your own personalized language." He takes out what looks like a tape recorder and hits a button on it. It rewinds what the Sorcerer just said, but in English. The Scribe nods his head, listening to its words. "Oh, you wouldn't believe the story. Last time I tried this, I was running in between worlds - I was being chased by, who was it, Epoch? Epoch the Envincible? Yeah, he was certainly powerful, but he couldn't name for beans. So I tried to summon one of you, but I guess the coin landed at angle? I summoned a bunch of robbers dressed like you instead. Funny story, but it's for another time. Now, to business."
The Scribe points to Charles Barkley. "You see that mythological figure? He hates waffles. Kill him." The nine Sorcerers' eyes all twitch in unison, copper lightning sparking from their hands. "Zuij, xeca ytzc paas rtci kqbyqp. Azwtjapv, oa'lq fexsyk mnx. Fdwh gqll, za's f llxwgejupv, eanfhp xg oohnpxq, cufwomfc tmj evwa's xjnvwps, bjwggie yt elw far, bp kwp iy. Sza dat'x lz jwad ymtw yqy bfqjdas." The Scribe plays back his speech. His expression darkens. "I don't think that's a lie, anyway." The Archaic Waffle-Sorcerers teleport into the shadows, rushing up to Charles Barkley and preparing to give him a crash course in the main course - the course being a course of food, and the food being waffles. Two of them take out rugged wands and shoot globs of enchanted butter at Barkley's hands, nailing him to the ground. The stickiness of the butter prevents him from moving, and when it hardens like concrete, he's completely immobile. He tries to kick the Sorcerers next, but they repeat the process with his feet. Anticipating further attack, a third Sorcerer aims a wand at his head. "Uex, N vrgs ytz'ci sxozy es ynob f diukni yzryqe bmtgz siqq dxjathm es lde sjlvwot hnec, ynag f mekgeyglpd, wni pysug aqq zj mo ozy dmeqlyfyigqsqd tr lde xulr gb a xjnsfz. Ik dzy lny, N'qw ifcowlp cgqr rtfxz siym hexbljx, mvwwknsr cgqr ofh."
Charles Barkley struggles against his bonds, and the other six Sorcerers move in. One of them converts Barkley's eyes into waffles, blinding him. Maple syrup/blood drips down from his eye sockets as he tries in vain to scream - but if he opens his mouth, his jaw will snap in two thanks to a buffet of waffles. Another sorcerer twirls his wand in a circular formation, lightning reaching out and zapping Barkley's head, cutting a circular hole through it. The Sorcerer looks at Barkley's exposed brain, zapping a bolt of lightning through it. The lightning doesn't do any real damage, but it changes Barkley's thought processes, giving him one thing and one thing only: a pathological lust for waffles. And what's the nearest source of waffles? Barkley's eyes. He frantically tries to reach his eyes and savor the delicious taste of circular grid-shaped breakfast, but he can't. Because what's trapping his limbs? Solid butter.
All this leads to the most uncomfortable experience in Barkley's life, as he constantly tries to eat his eyes without any viable means of doing so. Two other Sorcerers transmute Barkley's arms and legs into waffles - disconnected chunks of breakfast food. The now-amputated Barkley watches in mute horror as the bonds holding him back are now freed - the butter's now holding waffle to the ground. Barkley flops like a fish, guiding himself by rolling on the ground to his delicious prizes. He opens his mouth to try and eat what was once his arm, forgetting all about the wand pointed down his gullet. In an instant, Barkley gets more than he ever bargained for. "Wlwnrll, uoz fdowz ftw elao."
First, a whole waffle appears in his mouth. He chews it up excitedly. Then, another appears. He begins to eat that as well. Three more appear, and Barkley is in heaven. Then seven more appear, and his mouth begins to swell up. Barkley begins to recognize he might have a problem. After several minutes, Barkley digests all of the waffles contentedly, barely registering the Sorcerers around him. He opens his mouth once more to eat his limbs, and once every tick, a new waffle appears in his mouth. Soon, his mouth is bursting with waffles - they spill out of his mouth, spill onto the ground, and they fill his cheeks, causing him to swell up like a balloon. He chokes on them, unable to breathe, spitting out waffles across the field like a projectile cannon. The nine Sorcerers sit back and watch the chaos, continually spawning more and more waffles while eating waffles themselves. Although Barkley cannot see, since his eyes are waffles, he now has waffle-sense - he is able to recognize where waffles are. Barkley begins to slide his way towards the Sorcerers with his last breaths, trying to eat what they are eating.
Then, the final two sorcerers make their moves. They zap Barkley full of lightning, carrying his entire body upwards and holding him in a bubble while waffles still spawn in his mouth. Lastly, his mouth swells to the size of an entire room, Barkley twitching and spasming as he tries to breathe air that he can't find. Finally, he goes still - right as his head bursts open with the force of holding hundreds of waffles at once. The barrage of bloody waffles spills everywhere, bouncing against the bubble they're contained in. With their power, the two sorcerers transmute all of Barkley's flesh, waffles, and waffle-flesh into a singular waffle - one of absolute perfection. And they all eat it. Bite by bite. Piece by piece.
The Waffle-Sorcerers walk back to the Scribe, satisfied with their work. The Scribe watched in awe at their deeds, extremely impressed. "I... I've gotta say, I've never seen anything like that before." A few of the Sorcerers chuckle. "Phfsv cgq ftw jsmn knso agndx. Gfx jaaqqj, xzwt bfdr'l oo mfch. Sjytsp gsj dt bsel se ino, wg hosl lw lded mlzw w rjqlxareqd npwwr xhsivqlj kzv s beb mfrvnei dpejo. Bjxthwo, ik ysiq hiajo mf Zirjywakn 953 ytz, xzay'i gp nmot qnvi mo. Tmjj'h zwvj fwp lde ynxi aj tmj hsjhd." The Scribe plays back their words and runs to them excitedly, registering what they said. "Wait, wait. You live in Dimension 953? Isn't that--" A Sorcerer flips a coin, landing it on its edge on the very first try. A column of fire appears, and the Sorcerers circle around it like before.
"Uex. Ysi Vemjsdmgj ok Wlrvkmsjdw. Dknl wpggcnneph so a gjlggj ok nyggipwjsifoignwmlu tt ysska ozydmva. Ozw vmfz hfx wmnad ympvw bow jzrk, otzijmfc Eqjxifps fso Qscih. Dzy kdozqo wlkp gd dsea tnrp. M tat dtf lsre gjqsja, bzy yso phfy jsm gntb hlsp ytz vrgs ntb... Jsm ohtzwh eaey za aaph zx. Jsm're lte umetj ysi ukis hzpdacynzr." The Sorcerers jump into fire, one by one. One of them points their wand at the coin on the ground, and it flies through the air into the Sorcerer's palm. He waves. "Ef dtf hg ottu mc, lny ymp fqvasytrw harudlszex. Ysiq'ne ingmfa!" The column of flame disappears, and the Scribe ponders the Sorcerer's words. "...What does that even mean?"
Charles Barkley reforms a half an hour later with no recollection of the previous events, having sustained immense physical damage. The only thing that Barkley remembers is something dim - a massive fear of waffles. (If someone else blocked the attack, replace all mentions of 'Charles Barkley' with their name.)
Y attaches several fireproof bandaids to the Soul of the Core's heads.
He then attaches more fireproof bandaids to Balthios James. These bandaids happen to be fireproof because of their metallic nature, and are still red-hot from the fireproof bandaid testing facility.
Y puts away a cinder-like chalk, having used it to draw a flaming, sun-like summoning circle on the ground. He reads the final lines from a golden, chain-adorned book that the enderdrim military has provided him with, and a blinding light descends from the skies. The glowing ball of light causes a large hole to appear in the crimson clouds, descending through it before stopping just as it touches the ground, cracking open and revealing a rocky, monolithic structure with glowing orange crystals running through it levitating slightly off the ground.
Mechanics:
The Solar Monolith doesn't attack by itself, instead generating Solar Shields around other entities, protecting them. It generates 3 shields per turn at the beginning of each end-of-turn battle, with a maximum of 3 shields. The shields are single-use, blocking all damage from an attack and damaging the attacker, but destroying the shield. The entity protected by the shield can also use it for a single-use offensive dash, which deals more damage than the counterattack, but consumes the shield. The shields do not protect entirely from player attacks or special attacks, instead reducing 50% of the damage. If a player attacks an entity with a shield, the shield isn't consumed. The shields are indicated by a ) after the entity's health bar, like this:
Solar Monolith: HP/HP. Shielding Entity 1 and Entity 2.
Entity 1: HP/HP. )
Entity 2: HP/HP. ))
The Solar Monolith is airborn, and immune to most potion effects due to its rocky, non-biological nature.
The Solar Monolith is Neutral, but will currently grant 1 shield to any entity defending the Basketball Hoop.
OK, real life is getting in the way again. No update today, but an update tomorrow seems likely.
You can still post, as long as there's no incomplete EoTB that needs doing.
One more thing: I've forgotten mention (and will update the EoTB with this), but you CAN get a charge over 50 posts...You just need someone else to help you. This is the only way to have a deliberate summon that is actually a boss, (unless you're PZ, in which case UserZero would be happy to buff your entity up to boss strength if you want it to-and only because there's barely any PZs compared to AZs), so make sure you have Teamwork! Please note, I'll only allow so many bosses on the field at once, because it would be frustrating to have to deal with like a thousand AZ bosses or so.
As compensation for not being able to properly update today...A bit of a while back, Section 3.2 was requested. Well, here it is!
[3.2] UserZero
The first Omega-Plus Godmodder known, and the one to ultimately create the modern Godmodding Scale along with the nine Omega-Rank Godmodders. UserZero is sadly the most reclusive of the big three Godmodders, thus this section is going to be a bit more sparse than the others.
UserZero’s personality, during the ‘golden age’ of Godmodding (which really was only a few years), was rather well known-she is a confirmed sociopath with a bad Mania case. However, she’s also incredibly lazy for all of her power-to truly get her to move against you is a bad sign you have earned more than simple annoyance, as usually she’s simply prone to just knocking you away than actually bothering with you. Despite her relative laziness, though, she was more than willing to tell you why she’s the Omega-Plus, and she worked for her role in the world-and will defend it with equal violence. Her relationship with the Anti-Godmodders due to the existence of the modern Godmodding Scale is probably one of the better ones, but most Anti-Godmodders in the ‘golden age’ were out for her blood. Assuming they ever found her mysterious server, their attacks against her were all unanimous failures; all of them had lived through the ordeal through an ‘irl’ sense, and almost all of them insisted that they were stopped by a champion of Basketball (aka Charles Barkley). The exception to this typical attitude, as far as known, relates to Richard. Then again, the duo are confirmed to have a moderate history, including UserZero doing SOMETHING to Richard with a Tuba that spanned his absurd phobia of tubas, so it wouldn’t be surprising to say they were at some point classmates or neighbors or something of the sort. The exact relation isn’t easy, though it’s been known that anything claiming to have shipped the duo was literally incinerated out of existence by a joint Conflict-Narrative force. Let it be said, that’s perhaps the first time that’s ever happened in existence, for ANY reason outside of the Gate…So don’t try anything funny.
Now, this was prior to the age of War, the current Godmodding age. SOMETHING happened at some unknown point, prior to the Zeroth Godmodding War (and thus the start of the Age of War). We don’t know WHAT it was, however, not even slightly. Due to how reclusive she can be (or rather, how her laziness makes her appearances relatively rare to begin with), it’s unknown what or why it happened, but by the time of the Zeroth Godmodding War she’s gone to have an extensive loathing of Anti-Godmodders and Richard to the point where it could be defined as a mental illness. While both of these things weren’t unconfirmed in her behavior beforehand, this level of extensive hate seems to be nigh-baseless and far more exaggerated than previous behavior. This lead to the primary issue during the Zeroth Godmodding War-she refused to free the Anti-Godmodders and Richard when she had trapped them, as well as anyone else who entered, intending to kill them all, a stark contrast to her (relatively) laid-back personality. Reasons abound as to why, but nothing concrete has formed yet.
For various reasons, looking back at the Zeroth Godmodding War and thus the most time people have had with UserZero’s personality is quite hard even in comparison to the other two big Godmodders. I’m only now receiving a transcript of the events from an anonymous resource, and it’s coming out painfully slow. Fortunately, I’ve managed to grab some key information, or at least some facts.
-UserZero is the only known Godmodder to prove TRUE mastery over Altgeddon, allowing her to control every last alternate account she has at once. It is believed the OP Scale is the only reason she cannot usually let loose such a force on everyone at once, as having command over an army of nigh-invulnerable Omega-Plus Godmodders (in effect) with impeccable coordination is pretty much an invincible fighting force.
-UserZero’s real first name is unknown, unlike the other two, though she usually goes by the Nickname of Uzi. Richard may know the real first name (or possibly even the whole name) due to various implied events between the duo.
-UserZero is not interested in the Psi Artifacts for various reasons, including lack of interest, the difficulty in finding them, and the fact that their power doesn’t really give the wielder direct power-it’s only for as long as they are wielded. Despite this, persistent rumors abounded while she was alive that she held the Ancestral Silk for some time, but at this point they’re merely rumors.
-UserZero was the first Godmodder to use a variant of the Operation, specifically during the Zeroth Godmodding War. It was crude and didn’t prevent tabbing out, but it was specifically designed to at least prevent people from simply logging off to escape her. It was later repurposed by Richard into a considerably stronger virus that could take over billions of computers at once if called for.
-UserZero has been said to possess the ability to alter her (and her avatars) entire atomic structure at a whim, transforming herself into a variety of forms. It’s not said to be used much aside from occasionally turning into a goo of varying consistencies to prevent certain attacks, and though it is ultimately believed to be a type of Godmodding ability, no-one can prove it. It’s not seen in Psi nor Richard, though UserZero has technically had most of her time out of War, meaning it was wholly possible that it is a standard Godmodding ability and it merely needs to be trained for a while. No hard facts have come up on it yet.
-UserZero’s favorite food is Pretzels. She’s unlikely to be bribed if her mind is truly set on something, but if the situation is calm, you could probably get her to give you quite a bit for a good Pretzel.
-UserZero has Hemomania-even before the Zeroth War, she was known to quite literally bathe in blood because she liked it so much.
-UserZero has a ‘corpse collection’ of anything she happens to properly kill, possibly as a result of her Hemomania and/or some take on hunting trophies. Unfortunately, the size and contents of this particular collection are unknown.
-UserZero’s higher-profile terrors under her command are said to literally be her children, which…Doesn’t make much sense at all, seeing as they’re usually born from the bowls of a dimension of pure evil, and in this case UserZero used them to run Godmodding Incorporated while she owned it. Of course, it may just be in the sense that they’re not made until they are summoned, thus making her their mother by default, so let’s keep our imaginations out of the gutter unless it’s proven otherwise.
Mercury runs up to the goblin auto-barber and cuts his hair. Whoops, he accidentally cut his head off, ah well. Accidents happen, no sense in worrying about it. That'd just cause undue stress.
The Relative: 50/50 ===================================================
Scribe's Wands && Arcade Cabinet = The Space Invaders (4/4) COMPLETE
The Space Invaders && PC = The Personal Space Invaders (1/≥4)
Scribe's Wands || UFO Model = The Xenomorphs (1/?)
I +2 jondanger.
The Scribe looks at the steaming corpse of Pilcrow. Its body has been vaporized, leaving only a chalk-white skeleton that is nearly invisible. The Scribe watches it sadly, until it vibrates. A voice edges its way into the Scribe's head. So cold... It... hurts... The Scribe clutches his skull, looking around for something. "Wh... what does? Are you feeling pain after death?" Yes... It's freezing... Being dragged... depths... of ice and snow... The Scribe sighs. "I can't ease the pain for you, if that's what you were going to ask." Not asking... anything... Just talking... concentrating... anticipating... The Scribe stops as his hand reaches towards a glowing object. "Anticipating what?"
Can't believe... waves of chaos... killed so quickly... no time... didn't see anything... about the surface... "That's what life is like here. You burn bright and you burn fast. And then it's over." Not enough time... Shouldn't have died... Used... Died... You used me... The Scribe tenses up immediately. "Say that again." You're... using... my power... like you used... his... The Scribe chuckles darkly, grabbing a pulsating white sigil of undefinable power: ¶. He takes it and puts it away. "Yes. I am. And for a damn good reason. Don't worry about it much. You're just another piece of the puzzle." Used... Cold... I can't... Can't... The skeleton of Pilcrow shudders, and then it shatters into pieces, releasing black sparks across the field. The Scribe stands up and walks away.
"Two down."
Several minutes later...
The Scribe closes his eyes and attempts to maintain a steady rate of breathing. "I... I'm not ready for this. I don't think I'll ever be ready for this. I mean, the idea was funny, and it was mostly conceived as a joke, but now..." He sighs. "I'm waiting for someone to tell me that the joke is over, but I sincerely doubt this is simply for humor's sake at this point." The Scribe pulls out a wristwatch and turns a dial on it, the ground below him disappearing and leading into some sort of unknown cave. He walks down a set of stairs and then seals the entrance shut.
"The idea was simple. Create a telecommunications device and binge-watch the entertainment of adjacent universes until I found something that clicked. I've been hiding here for weeks - hopefully that should explain my inactivity. I've become rather interested in cartoons, you see. Like any work of Fiction, they tell a story behind the scenes, presented to their audiences as speculative imagination. None of them know what they're seeing has happened, is happening, and/or will happen. And they don't care. But I am not one of them. So I searched for the perfect entity I could use in this fight. And I found it."
The Scribe flicks a lever, and light fixtures turn on across the rudimentary lab he's set up. In the middle is a giant apparatus with wires of many shape and size connecting to it. Right now, it's displaying static. Set up at the far end of the room is a summoning circle, and lining the walls are glass cylinders. "This being... He's genius. He's amazing. He's powerful. And he certainly fits the bill for what I've been wanting to summon. Now, the one thing I need to do is make a Crossover. I need to pull him from his dimension, and into ours. And to do that, I'd need a paradox. That's where you'll come in."
The Scribe turns around, revealing the identity of who he was talking to with his monologue: a man in a futuristic official-looking outfit, armed to the teeth with equipment and weapons. Hughes, a commander of the Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron. His eyes narrow at the Scribe. "Look, Scribe. You and I are friends, we both know that. But I am not letting you create a paradox, and I am certainly not helping you create one! You promised me that if you needed me, you wouldn't break the law with whatever stunt you were planning! Stick to your promises!" The Scribe sighs. "I was hoping our chat wouldn't have to come to this." He steps towards the glass cylinders, calibrating machinery around them. Each of them swing open. Hughes steps forward. "With all due respect, Scribe, I cannot authorize this! If you don't stop immediately--" The Scribe raises his palm, lifting off a glove to reveal a cyan hourglass insignia on it. The Scribe speaks one word. "Timewheel".
Hughes stops in his tracks, his eyes flickering with cyan. His entire body goes rigid. "The Scribe is the master. Hughes is the nobody. The nobody fulfills the master's wishes so that he can achieve enlightenment." The Scribe snaps his fingers, beckoning Hughes forwards. "You came alone, didn't you?" "Hughes has come alone. The Scribe told Hughes to bring no one. The Scribe told Hughes to see no one. The Scribe told Hughes to trust no one." The Scribe turns around. "Ah-ah. Trust no one but who?" "Trust no one but the Scribe. The Scribe is the master." "Exactly. Now, here's what I have in mind. You're going to give me several secondary white crystals, and I'll harness their powers with this machine. That should create a paradox powerful enough to rip The Relative from his universe to ours. Got it?" Hughes reaches for his belt, grabbing a rectangular case encoded with a complex lock.
"White is the color of transfer. Our technology is rooted in erasing paradoxes. White crystals create paradoxes. They are illegal under the Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Code. But all laws are illegal under the guidance of the Scribe. The Scribe is the master." The Scribe takes the suitcase and sets it on a table. "Right you are. Oh, I'll need the passcode for that lock." "Upsilon, Naudiz, Cent, Lozenge, Exclamation. Then turn a full 360 degrees clockwise and press the red button." The Scribe follows Hughes' instructions, and the suitcase swings open, revealing an array of twelve white diamond-shaped crystals. "Thank you, Hughes. Remember, what are you?" "Hughes is the nobody. The Scribe is the master. The nobody fulfills the master's wishes so that he can achieve enlightenment." The Scribe chuckles. "I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing someone say that. The knowledge that you have a man completely under your control... That's priceless."
The Scribe puts on three pairs of gloves and takes out each of the crystals, setting each one in its own glass cylinder. The Scribe locks them all in place, fastening them and calibrating the machines even further. He then takes out a keypad connected to all of the cylinders, pressing buttons on them in sequence. With each button the Scribe presses, one of the crystals surges to life, filling the glass cylinder it's in with white energy - energy that travels through wires and into the summoning circle, lighting up a portion of it with power. Each crystal causes more and more noise to fill the chamber. The Scribe yells across the din. "I couldn't have done it without you, Hughes! Thank you for this!" "Hughes lives to serve the master. The Scribe is the master. Whatever the Scribe wants, Hughes will give. Such is the existence of the nobody."
Eventually, eleven of the twelve crystals are lit. The Scribe turns to Hughes. "Now, when I speak the following words, you are going to return to normal. You will slip out of your trance, and you will become a nobody no longer. You will achieve your own backwards enlightenment. I will no longer be your master, yet I will still be a master of knowledge. You will see what is going on and remark at how my experiments are perfect and wonderful, and how we are the greatest of friends, working together to bring about the end of a dark war." The Scribe pauses, and holds his hand out once more. "Sandfall." Hughes' eyes widen into deep holes that seem to echo through time and space. They lose their cyan glow. Hughes topples over, scratching his head. "Ugh... Scribe, what's going on? What are you doing?!" The Scribe looks at the massive arrays of lightning and energy flying across the hall. At its far end, the summoning circle spins, eleven of its twelve squares rotating around. Each square has a differing symbol, and only one of them isn't lit - only one of them is marked out against the rest, continually traveling around the wheel. The Scribe laughs. "Making history, my friend! Making..." Then he presses the twelfth button. "History."
The twelve crystals all shine in unison, white light flooding the chamber. The top of the chamber (which is underground, mind you) is blown off, creating a gaping hole in the Battlefield. The blocks that are blown apart are suspended in the air as twelve columns of light blast off into the skies like beacons. The lights then converge in the sky, quivering and arching towards each other, creating a shining point in the sky where all of the paradoxical energy is centered. Without warning, everything changes.
The crystals flicker and splinter, shattering into black pieces. The light they were making is overtaken by liquid darkness, darkness that shows pictures of galaxies, universes, and dimensions beyond ours. The light they make streams into the sky, flickering in every color imaginable and causing the heavens themselves to crack open. Down in the lab, the glass cylinders have shattered, blackness flooding the chamber. The summoning wheel spins out of control, electricity and geometry shaking from its foundations as a massive beam of paradox surges from it, shining brighter and bigger than the other twelve beams.
The Scribe and Hughes look up at it, the latter yelling at the former. "Scribe! Is that a PARADOX?! What's one doing here? Why is it being made because of what you did??" The Scribe sighs. "Hughes, I... hm. How to phrase this... Trust me, this wasn't intentional... It was more of an accident." Hughes sounds relieved. "Oh, thank Time-Baby. So, should I call in the ol' squad and have them sort this out?" "NO!" The Scribe cuts Hughes off. "I... want to see how this plays out. If things get out of hand... then do what you must." Hughes leers at the Scribe. "Alright... I'll do what you want. But only because I'm confident you know what you're doing." The Scribe laughs maniacally at the carnage in the sky. "Oh, I do."
The image of the summoning circle is broadcasted by the beams in unison, of wedges spinning around amongst a geometric center. An ominous wind howls, and the heavens rotate around the massive paradox presenting itself to the universe. Lightning flashes across the sky as the point of the beams' meeting suddenly explodes with enough force to knock everything in the server over. From its power, the skies shatter completely, a massive 'X' forming in the sky above the hole in the ground.
The Scribe, Hughes, the lab equipment, and the entire ground, all begin to float upwards. Hughes looks at the Scribe. "...What's going on? Why are we floating?" The Scribe looks up. "This should be a minor effect related to the paradox. It should stabilize itself in a minute. Well, to rephrase that, if it doesn't stabilize itself in a minute, the entire planet will be floating in different directions, marking the destruction of the universe." Hughes' eyes nearly pop out of his head. "WHAT?? Do you have any idea how much of a MESS that would make? It would take trillions of units to clean that up!" The Scribe scoffs. "Sure, forget about the millions of innocent lives that will be dragged down with it."
The light coming from the crystals has stopped, as has the darkness and images they were protecting. All that remains is the massive rift in the sky - a rift with unimaginable properties. It looks like a massive tear in space, and on the other side of it, only chaos can be seen. Monochrome extradimensional chaos, painfully black-and-white but kaleidoscopic in nature. The rift's purpose is clear when everything else is taken into account. "Yes... Excellent. The rift is ready. The Crossover can begin. And then, the Relative will appear. And all will fall into place." Hughes looks at the Scribe, bewildered. "The Relative? Who is that, exactly? You never quite explained who he was, and why a paradox is forming."
Chuckling, the Scribe takes out a telescope and looks through it. "Well, it's pretty simple. As I told you, I searched through modern-day entertainment programs, finding some sort of character that could be of good use in this war. I found one, and to bridge the gap between universes without having to drudge through the Void and hope I don't spend a billion years looking for some vague approximation of the universe in question (not to mention the return trip), I attempted to... er. Summon him with... You know what, not important. The point being a paradox was created, which has led to the formation of this Crossover - a rip in space that will bring the Relative here. As for his identity, you'll find that soon enough - when he crosses over into the physical world."
Everything stops floating, the Scribe and Hughes crashing to the ground, and the lab equipment similarly falling in place. The TV stops brodcasting static and emits a message. Hughes scrambles to look at it, reading it word by word. "It says... What. 'What's cookin', good-lookin'?' What does that even MEAN?!" Hughes looks up at the sky, along with the Scribe, who remains silent, peering through his telescope. He catches a glimpse of movement. Something is coming down from the rift.
The Crossover has begun.
As light pours down from the rift, a figure is floating down to earth. Lightning and thunder accompanies his descent, as does a haunting chorus that materialized from out of nowhere. Accompanying them is an array of trumpet-players, whose horns are announcing the arrival of this figure so that all can know his hypothetical splendor. Soon, an entire band marches in, accompanying the brass instruments and the vocals. Hughes looks around sporadically. "How are these things appearing in front of behind us? There are so many things going on here that are wrong, I just can't..."
Hughes turns to look at the cyan hourglass on the Scribe's hand. "Timewheel. You are going to ignore everything going on here, and you are going to leave this universe and not come back until seven days have passed. If anyone sends reports of paradoxes stemming from this area, ignore them unless I contact you. Sandfall." Hughes blinks once, and understands. "What am I even doing here, anyway... Well, it was nice talking to you, Scribe! I'll see you around!" Hughes leaves, closing reality's door and leaving the Scribe to face the madness happening all around him.
The figure touches down on the ground, his appearance shrouded by flowing black robes. The band stops playing in reverence, and as the Scribe examines the figure's gait for a few seconds, he realizes something. The figure is walking towards him. Preparing himself for the encounter with The Relative, the Scribe takes another deep breath, and walks forward until the two of them stand five meters apart.
The Scribe looks at The Relative. His black cloaks are covered with foreign symbols, each belonging to a different universe... Whoever this man is, he's certainly well-traveled. The Scribe extends a hand. "Welcome to Minecraftia. I called you here to take care of something." The Relative doesn't move for several seconds, but he completes the handshake in time. He speaks in a deep voice - inhumanly deep, as if he was manipulating his voice. "What seems to be the problem here? If there's something wrong, I can fix it." The Scribe looks around. "For starters, you can get rid of all these paradoxes." The Relative doesn't move for a while. "I help the problems of people. If there's something troubling them, I can fix it. And I always will."
"Interesting. Well, these paradoxes are a pretty big problem. If they're not taken care of, soon there won't be any people to help. I mean, the biggest one - the Crossroads - has been mainly taken care of because you're here. But there are still a few of them lying around..." The Relative nods. "Take me to them." The Scribe rolls his eyes. "Alright. But first, you've got to ditch this costume. It's time that you show these people who you really are." The Relative backs away. "Hey, let me get the job done first. It'll only take a second." The Scribe walks a step to the right. So does the Relative. "Here are the--" The Relative snaps his fingers, and the Crossroads disappears, as does the hole in the ground, and the band. The skies are returned to normal, and no sign of the chaos can be seen anyway. The Scribe surveys the Relative's work. "Huh. You're good."
The Relative speaks. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the once-in-a-lifetime grand opening season premiere of the greatest guy in the multiverse! He's everyone's friend, he's a man of peace and kindness, helping those in need and taking care of their problems. He's related to everyone in existence at the same time! And his name is..." The cloaks on the Relative disappear, dissolving into confetti. JOHN CENA
Uncle Grandpa: [AZ] HP: ???
Yes. I went there. This is Uncle Grandpa, star of the hit(?) cartoon "Uncle Grandpa". Uncle Grandpa is the uncle and grandfather of everyone in existence, and he goes around solving problems. The major thing about Uncle Grandpa is that, being firmly rooted in cartoons, he runs entirely off of cartoon logic. He can do whatever he wants with no repercussions, pulling giant bazookas and laser cannons from his hammerspace-powered Belly Bag, creating clones of himself and pulling body parts off of himself at will, and even creating plot holes to hide in.
Because of this ability to do random crap in any way he wants, Uncle Grandpa is decidedly different from most other entities. He has no set attacks or passives, and what he does is entirely dictated by me. If there's a turn where I don't post, then that means he doesn't act. Uncle Grandpa has little HP, but very high defense, making him a lot like a godmodder in that sense. He is not a meatshield. Attacks do not only deal 1 damage to him. They can do more, but they won't do a lot. And that's just the attacks that can hit. Uncle Grandpa's as good as defending himself as he is at attacking!
Uncle Grandpa can also call on his friends if he wants. But I'll reveal more about them if he decides to. And yes, since he just noped all the paradoxes, there are no paradoxes left, and therefore there's nothing that can be used against this guy to start with.
To start things off, Uncle Grandpa decides to make a post on the forums. He pops into existence onto the Minecraft Forums website, wondering exactly how to post and what's considered proper etiquette. Uncle Grandpa takes out a massive log the size of a skyscraper and drives it into the code of the Minecraft Forums, making a post of wood appear on it. The wood post disrupts the BB Code that formats the forums, causing two random enemies to blink out of existence and take damage!
I start a new charge. This is the last one I'll be doing for a while.
The Future: 1/50 ==================================================
DarkSide: Double-bladed battleaxe, one blade head on each end of the handle && Laser Gun && Accursed Flamethrower && Bright Ruby && Flaming Emerald = Dual Destruction Mk. 1 (Lv. ?, 1/?)
Justin's machines and equipment: Staff of the Cometians Mk. 1, Tome of Frozen(?) RGB (Red Green Blue) Mk. 1
DarkSide's machines and equipment: Malice Mk. 1, Pure Terror Mk. 1
DarkSide: Intimidating Vessel (15/35) IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII (+1 Compensation) Justin: Planetary Unrest (13/35) IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII (+1 Compensation) (it WAS both charges, right?)
===============
Entities:
Zilch! Zada! Nothing!
===================
I look around, and whisper to Justin about... private matters. We agree on the plans we made.
Then, Justin and I both rush to (seemingly) attack the GSs, only for us to stop before we even start to attack. We were both extremely good at lying, so really, we slipped from Richard's grasp without him even noticing. We explain to the GSs (before they decide to try to call us out) what we were actually doing, and ask to join their side. We aren't taking "no" for an answer. (Hey, we've got nothing to lose after T. Dora happened, so wynaut?)
Crusher48: Alright, that does it. Not only did you bypass the Enderdragon's defenses to kill it, you destroyed the Dragon's Nest, somehow blew up all the Ender Crystals at once when only one can be hit at a time, and you anhillated a 30 post charge after 2 or 3 rounds. Unfortunately for you, I have the ability to convert destroyed entities into extremely powerful secondary charges (if my entities die (especially unfairly like this) I can convert half the charge into a charge to use in a revenge move, this is well known since the DTG2 incident where I controlled SCP-2317 briefly). So, Barkley, are you ready for me to completely DESTROY your sport? No? TOO GORILLA BAD, BASKETBALL WILL BE DESTROYED!
The best way to destroy a sport is to remove the implements the sport is played with. The hoop is indestructible, but the balls? Not so much. I summon Tom Brady and his associates, and combine my energy with his pure cheating power to cast the Curse Of Deflategate. Suddenly, Barkley finds that the basketball he is holding has suddenly deflated to the point of being useless! He switches to another ball, but finds that it is also deflated! Angry, he goes to ask the ref for another ball, but the ref is not there, because I lured him away with the promise of my INFINITE GOLD GENERATOR. When he raids the storage room himself to grab a basketball, they are all popped, deflated, and useless. Cyberdwarf (if still alive) suddenly shrivels up as his basketball skin becomes useless and deflates.
Crusher48: Enjoying the curse yet? Good luck finding an undeflated basketball, because there are NONE! EVERY basketball that is present in the universe now, has been present, or will be present, has deflated. The energy of B-Ball itself is fading, and with it, so will you. And don't even bother looking for a basketball pump, those were destroyed too. Except for a few though, they were immune to the curse so I stuck them in my impenetrable bunker. Only a Godmodder can get in it, and since your friendly godmodder UserZero is back hiding behind the Barrier and refuses to come out, you are out of luck.
The Bunker: I imported a bedrock bunker from the Void to store the few pumps that could not be destroyed by the Curse. The bunker has the following defenses:
1) The barrier turrets: The barrier turrets are designed to stop any intruders from penetrating the defenses. The turrets automatically shoot the INSTANT something enters its range for an automatic hit that does moderate damage but more importantly sends the victim flying back 100 blocks with very high knockback. It is impossible to get past without some sort of godmodding.
2) The Entrance: The entrance is the only way into the bedrock fortress. It has "only" 5 layers of obsidian in the wall, with a lava layer in between each obsidian layer. It is very difficult to mine through without being incinerated. At the end of it is an anti-inventory beam that destroys all of an intruder's gear, followed by 1 more layer of obsidian.
3) The Labyrinth: An automatically-shifting labyrinth of death. The labyrinth's entry doors shut behind anyone that enters to trap them in the maze, which changes the parts that are out of sight to make it nearly impossible to beat. There is always technically a way out, but the maze is programmed to hide this way out and change it if someone gets too close to finding it.
4) The Guardian Golems: The Guardian Golems are indestructible iron golems defending the pumps. There are 4 of these Guardian Golems in the Pump Room, which is only 25x25x3, making it very difficult to move around them. The golems have a special poison they can dispense as an attack to paralyze victims, in addition to sending the victim across the room with their fists (they are smart enough to combo a wannabe tomb raider with this).
5) The Shield: The Shield preventing anyone from accessing the pumps can only be removed by placing basketballs on all 4 of the pedastals on the north, south, east, and west of the shield, all within 5 seconds of each other (failure results in another Guardian Golem spawning). Where are you going to get basketballs if they are all deflated? Don't worry, deflated basketballs dont count (like you would bring them though...). If one does not bring basketballs (or they were destroyed by the anti-inventory beam in the Entrance), the pedastals have a 10% chance to activate without them, but that leaves you with approximately a one in ten thousand chance to get it on each run without spawning another Guardian Golem.
6) Self-Destruct: If the Shield goes down, a 60 second self-destruct timer initiates. If it goes off, a near-infinitely powerful nuke anhillates everything (except the last basketball pumps somehow) inside the base, then automatically rebuilds the base (minus any intruders) 1 minute later. The only way to stop it is to get to the Control Room of the bunker (conveniently on the other side of the Labyrinth from the Pump Room), then hit the one button out of the 100 buttons (all identical except for one being the right button) that teleports you out (the other 99 detonate the nuke immediately).
7) The Anti-Bypasser Room: A sealed impenetrable room with an anti-teleportation device (that may stop the button to teleport UserZero out of the exploding bunker from working), a device to regenerate any bedrock that is somehow destroyed, and a retaliation system to smite people trying other ways to do Sequence Breaking or Dungeon Bypass on the bunker.
Since UserZero will not leave the barrier to get the Basketball Pumps to restart the game (she will die if she does due to unfair amounts of defense), this means Barkley and friends have to play with deflated basketballs. This makes it nearly impossible for them to do any significant damage with a dunk, and also drains the B-Ball energy itself away, damaging Barkley and his buddies and weakening.
(OOC: Hey Tazz, balance is going to be horrible if every boss gets a 2-turn charged attack that field wipes things. It invalidates a ton of charges in ONE unavoidable attack, and makes entities useless. Seriously, if entities get unfairly screen wiped every 2 turns, you might as well summon a bunch of charge attacks instead, at least those will get some decent effect in before being wiped out. Also, if entities are unable to damage the godmodder, then there is no point to them, because we could overrun UserZero or Richard in entities and do absolutely NOTHING, at the very least let an overwhelming entity advantage translate into, say, the godmodder sacrificing 2 HP to do a Blood Magic screen wipe (though then we get into the problems with screen wipes again). And how would a team charge work?)
I summon two portals from my shoulders, somewhat like Orbitars. I motion my hands forward, and a vast amount of magic flechettes flies toward Balthios James! Said entity soon drowns in the overwhelming amount of darts that pierce him through!
@TwinBuilder: WOAH, that's massive... and pretty unique, so I have no objections.
Oh well... Good thing I brought my magic contact lenses! I put them on... and they fall into my empty eye sockets. "GAH!" I fly like an airplane into Hoopz Barkley and whack him with a taco shell.
I forgot to do this earlier, so I'll do it now.
Drakonite: This special material is what makes Sukard's Amor. (Btw Sukard is Drakus backwards. I know this is useless, but I thought you'd want to know.
Crimtane II Blood II Diamond = Crimsony Blood Gem (Level 2: 3/3) Finished!
Chlorophyte (If it makes the alchemy level too high replace with Grassite) II Dirt II Herbal Medicine = Healium (Get it? :p) 1/???
+2 to Pricey
Sukard 6/50
Vritra Chenbog 2/6 (+1 form Pricey)
Best.
Idea.
EVER!
I invite Charles Barkly to challenge me in a basketball game, but when he tries to do a shot, the hoop and the ground disappear. I am still standing of land, though. He falls into lava, and then the void.
(Is Senor Banana dead?)
Azuma shoots her energy shots at the PZ Chicken thing.
Neo Ultima does a generic slash of genericness on the Uncreativity Monster.
I just took the Minecraft Noob test! Check out what I scored. Think you can beat me?!
To take the test, check out http://minecraftnoobtest.com/test.php
Alright... third one's the charm!
Also... plasma bullets for the Telklacki Forcebarrage? I was expecting high-velocity lead rounds, but whatever floats your theoretical boat.
Supression Turrets: 16/20
Leviathan: 6/30
I use fantastic energy from the Blood Plane to summon an endlessly fueled Brimstone beam at Balthios James! Brimstone pierces everything and he cannot block it!
An alternate timeline emerges.
However, we must first start from the beginning...
Lesser Dog NEO: 4/10.
Narration: 8/50.
Tesla Scepter: 2/whatever
+2 to Fseftr
AA reappears from disinterest with DTG and slams Richard in the face with an endless stream of UserZeros. The UserZeros are not real, of course, but they are so realistic that they leave Richard in shock, making the real UserZero's next attack against him much more likely to hit.
Oh no
41/50
Since apparently I can do charges and alchemies at the same time...
1/40
I feel as though it would be a good idea to help Barkley make it to Chaos Dunk...
I walk up to any AZ entities on the field, trying to block Hoops Barkley! If there aren't any(SOMEHOW) I prioritize the Goblin Auto-Barber instead. If there's more than 1, I go for the weakest, HP-wise.
I show the entity a card, and ask them to tell me what it is. They do. It's the 19 of Tuxedos. I'm not using a standard deck. I shuffle it in with the other 73 cards, and then pull the card off the top. I ask them "Is this your card"? It's the 3 of Fancy Hats. The entity says no. I scream "WRONG ANSWER" while turning the card around-it has "17 of tuxedos" on the back! As punishment for answering the question wrong, the entity is forced to descend into a mystical portal. He can select which land it takes him to, for an hour of fun there! There are five options:
Candy Land
Happiness land
Cool People Training Land
Buzzsaw Death Land
Land of Peace
He selects "Candy Land". I respond with "whoops, why did I put a board game name in there? Please select something else."
He goes for Happiness land next. I say "Ah, man! Sorry, but 'land' isn't capitalized, the grammar nazi in me won't let you go there."
Getting concerned, he hits "Cool People Training Land". I tell him he's not cool enough.
Really panicking, he goes for "Land of Peace". I say okay... oh wait, nevermind! That land's at maximum capacity right now: 0 people, since that's the only way it can ever be peaceful!
"Oh, would you look at that! There's only one option left. I'll hit it for you!"
You can probably guess what happens to the entity for the next hour.
(IT'S BUZZSAW DEATH)
(FINE. Generic Minecraft Bow && Richard Themed Designer Bow)
Check out my bad CTM map reviews here.
@Tazz I just wanted to say a thing about Scolippi, since his stand was automatic and guided by FATE itself, the destruction was irrelevant for the user and the stand itself should reform briefly after the explosion, but if you think that his mechanic was bad or something else it is fine. Does my factory (10 post charge created to be a proper entity still exist?).
I wonder if the impact destroyed the larvaes, you know they were just spawned and ultra resistant to damage, eh.
Anyway since my char is too proud to do it I'll shed a tear for all the beautiful zergs killed.
The IMTE work on Leetuma (mostly paperwork) will not disappear, their charges will be used in the future by someone else (10/40) their bodies may have been destroyed but their legacy will live on.
This "B-Ball"...this power... this is new... let's see what it is exactly...
Hezetor proceeds to cast a series of spells to identify both B-Balls and Charles Barkley, the first one is Identify, that will (probably) allow him to understand the magic proprieties of an object.
He activates Truth seeing, this spell allows him to see everything as it is really, without illusions or tricks. (a creature morphed in something will be saw as it is really).
Then it uses Analyze Dweomer an improved version of Identify that will show all magical proprieties of an object, his function when it was created, how to activate the object, how long ago was created and with what spells.
To conclude he tries to determine the nature of the energy by scan-analyzing the remains of the energy in the area.
If my factory exist it will produce:
Maxis v1.2 E344
HP:50.000
Shield: 20.000 (+5000 per turn)
This is stuff that has not changed.
This is a standard warrior bot, has been created with the purpose of being able to operate in all climates, his relatively simple structure allow a faster production,but super heavy materials were used in a perfect combination between agility and resistance, by themselves they are not armed, but come with an included plasma rifle capable of doing his job in killing biological life forms.
The plasma rifle is not included inside of the robot to avoid some construction flaws of the past.
They are capable of managing their weapons well, a generic AI allows them to use most simple weapons very well, so expect accuracy.
Their AI is nicely made, they will try to take proper cover and they have at least the ability to do not damage allies while fighting.
Thanks to the recent upgrades of the factory the E344 unit posses an integrated shield of energy capable of reforming over time, clearly is necessary to destroy the shield before it is possible to attack the robot.
The new Factory produced nano-machines inside the body of every unit, these little guys will slowly heal all damage done to the creature as long as it is alive.
The module of weapon production allowed this new version of the Maxis to bring a refined Laser Gun, giving it more damage.
Did I mention that all of them are armed with a plasma grenade that will cause AOE damage? (plasma manipulation + weapon production)
+2 to Irecreeper
Charges
Concordant Killer 4/25
Rugname 16/50 (+1 Tazz, +2 Irecreeper, +2 Richard)
Flying Throne > fine = Throne of the Skies (Level 5) 1/6 (Or should I just subtract the difference from the original alchemy?)
module && flying module = ? (Level 1 2/2) Done, this time I have no idea of what this could possibly do, but I'll call it "Module of ?".
Solar Monolith 14/15!
SCP-882 14/25
00c: Serpent, I thik it would be a good idea to use some of the Soul of the Core's special attacks.
42/50
2/40
I walk up to Hoops Barkley and give him the QUANTUM SUIT OF ULTIMATE QUANTUMNESS that is REALLY SMALL. He attaches it to his body in an attack-blocking way, and the next person or thing to attack Barkley will not only have their attack fail, but be shoved into a painfully tiny suit of armor! With thorns inside! Because!
Check out my bad CTM map reviews here.
That's the joke, Battlefury. I guess I should have done <sarcasm quotes>
Also, TT2000 has given a bit of extremely small armor to Hoops Barkley.
Hoopz Barkley is disappointed at your inability to misspell the word hoops.
/null
No matter who wins, this can't end well...people like you should be burning in...you know, that place.
As usual, the only way to end a war for good is to discover its beginning...and end that beginning.
So, Uzi. Sorry to let you know, but this is as far as you go.
"lol ur stooped im God."
"Actually, as the omnipotent creator of this universe, I think I fit the bill more than some bearded guy who can't escape from some rope."
The Relative: 50/50 =================================================== (+6 from jondanger, +3 from Pricey, +2 from Kayne, the Godmodder, and Erelye, +1 from Tazz)
Lightsaber || Fan = Multi-Bladed Lightsaber (3/3) COMPLETE
Scribe's Wands && Arcade Cabinet = The Space Invaders (3/4)
I +2 Erelye as thanks for him being the inspiration for this attack.
Cerberus uses Eruption and passively uses Condition! Pilcrow uses Never the End!Or not, because of course the second I rejoin this game the entities I put a lot of work into go down the drain before I can command them.I don't summon The Relative just yet.
The Scribe hastily flips through his Journal. "Time to find the good stuff. ...A-ha! Perfect!" The Scribe flips to a two-page section depicting Archaic Sorcery. There are a lot of diagrams, mathematical equations, ancient runes and symbols, and images of apparent tears in space and wands. The section reads as follows: One of the oldest forms of magic in the universe, Archaic Sorcery was developed in tune to the Elemental Planes of Existence, of which there are eleven thousand. It can only be wielded by a sorcerer who has been trained in the Element for many years and has complete mastery of it. They can then completely align themselves with said Element and become truly one with it, using their magical powers to further their Element's path. Written in bold next to it is the following: DO NOT ATTEMPT IF YOU ARE UNALIGNED. In small text next to that is: Possible side-effects for unaligned archaic sorcery may include boils, malformed organs, a withering touch, an instant lobotomy, severe heart attack, spiritual enlightenment, diabetes, sleep paralysis, paralysis, brain paralysis, seizures, mind control, a revoked magician's license, an exile from the magic community, haphazard teleportation, loss of limbs, sublimation, freezing of blood, cancer, and/or death.
Shutting his book, the Scribe takes out a copper coin inscribed with the image of a waffle. "A coin for every element... Yes, this collection is certainly extensive. It took a lot of illegal trading to get these. Thankfully, an unaligned Archaic Sorcerer can summon an aligned Sorcerer by flipping the corresponding Elemental Coin, getting it to stand on its edge, and saying the chosen Element. The language you speak the Element augments how many Sorcerers appear, I believe, so this should work."
The Scribe flips the coin with a hesitant expression, watching it tumble through the air and land... tails. He sighs. "Here we go." The Scribe flips the coin again. Heads. Again. Heads. Again. Tails. Again. Heads. Again. Tails. Again. Tails. Again. Heads. This repeats for several hundred flips until he gives up, throwing the coin far away into the air and losing sight of it. The coin hits a passing bird, bouncing off of it. It tumbles through several trees, knocking an apple off of an oak branch. The apple tumbles down a hill, entering a giant cave. It bounces across the stones and ores in the cave, breaking open. The scent of the apples attract some zombies who mistake it for flesh since they can't smell. A hundred zombie swarm to the area at once, the pressure they put on the ground cracking the cave and open and creating a massive sinkhole that disrupts an entire biome. The coin, still in flight, is disrupted by the shockwave this event creates, causing the coin to lose all its spin and letting it sink like a stone down to the ground, the wind carrying it right next to the Scribe. The stone skips and spins along the ground until it lands at the Scribe's feet - on its edge. He blinks twice, speechless.
"Well then. Time to say the magic word, literally speaking." The Scribe clears his throat and says a word that no one recognizes.
The Elemental Coin of Waffles sparks with copper lightning, energy bursting forth from it, creating a column of fire that towers across the sky. The power of the Scribe's language - whatever it is - seems to have had a massive effect. An entourage of nine people clad in brown cloaks jump out of the fire, running around in a circle near the Scribe. He looks at the Journal. "The wardrobe, the jumping through fire... It all checks out. You're definitely Archaic Sorcerers." The fire dies down, and one of the Sorcerers speaks. "Seqq, zj ukuwxp aw wrj. Bsc okuqiy'x ta? Osqj yk, phtxp azk hfap tjwcynniv iefstryhexx xeyec ktc xzkuxfyhk kf djlvk, sozqo twnmfsprlhy iwpwk hipj hi taltsriv wt f btdsndnsr ggjvjsemgj." The Scribe rolls his eyes. "Right. I forgot you all had your own personalized language." He takes out what looks like a tape recorder and hits a button on it. It rewinds what the Sorcerer just said, but in English. The Scribe nods his head, listening to its words. "Oh, you wouldn't believe the story. Last time I tried this, I was running in between worlds - I was being chased by, who was it, Epoch? Epoch the Envincible? Yeah, he was certainly powerful, but he couldn't name for beans. So I tried to summon one of you, but I guess the coin landed at angle? I summoned a bunch of robbers dressed like you instead. Funny story, but it's for another time. Now, to business."
The Scribe points to Charles Barkley. "You see that mythological figure? He hates waffles. Kill him." The nine Sorcerers' eyes all twitch in unison, copper lightning sparking from their hands. "Zuij, xeca ytzc paas rtci kqbyqp. Azwtjapv, oa'lq fexsyk mnx. Fdwh gqll, za's f llxwgejupv, eanfhp xg oohnpxq, cufwomfc tmj evwa's xjnvwps, bjwggie yt elw far, bp kwp iy. Sza dat'x lz jwad ymtw yqy bfqjdas." The Scribe plays back his speech. His expression darkens. "I don't think that's a lie, anyway." The Archaic Waffle-Sorcerers teleport into the shadows, rushing up to Charles Barkley and preparing to give him a crash course in the main course - the course being a course of food, and the food being waffles. Two of them take out rugged wands and shoot globs of enchanted butter at Barkley's hands, nailing him to the ground. The stickiness of the butter prevents him from moving, and when it hardens like concrete, he's completely immobile. He tries to kick the Sorcerers next, but they repeat the process with his feet. Anticipating further attack, a third Sorcerer aims a wand at his head. "Uex, N vrgs ytz'ci sxozy es ynob f diukni yzryqe bmtgz siqq dxjathm es lde sjlvwot hnec, ynag f mekgeyglpd, wni pysug aqq zj mo ozy dmeqlyfyigqsqd tr lde xulr gb a xjnsfz. Ik dzy lny, N'qw ifcowlp cgqr rtfxz siym hexbljx, mvwwknsr cgqr ofh."
Charles Barkley struggles against his bonds, and the other six Sorcerers move in. One of them converts Barkley's eyes into waffles, blinding him. Maple syrup/blood drips down from his eye sockets as he tries in vain to scream - but if he opens his mouth, his jaw will snap in two thanks to a buffet of waffles. Another sorcerer twirls his wand in a circular formation, lightning reaching out and zapping Barkley's head, cutting a circular hole through it. The Sorcerer looks at Barkley's exposed brain, zapping a bolt of lightning through it. The lightning doesn't do any real damage, but it changes Barkley's thought processes, giving him one thing and one thing only: a pathological lust for waffles. And what's the nearest source of waffles? Barkley's eyes. He frantically tries to reach his eyes and savor the delicious taste of circular grid-shaped breakfast, but he can't. Because what's trapping his limbs? Solid butter.
All this leads to the most uncomfortable experience in Barkley's life, as he constantly tries to eat his eyes without any viable means of doing so. Two other Sorcerers transmute Barkley's arms and legs into waffles - disconnected chunks of breakfast food. The now-amputated Barkley watches in mute horror as the bonds holding him back are now freed - the butter's now holding waffle to the ground. Barkley flops like a fish, guiding himself by rolling on the ground to his delicious prizes. He opens his mouth to try and eat what was once his arm, forgetting all about the wand pointed down his gullet. In an instant, Barkley gets more than he ever bargained for. "Wlwnrll, uoz fdowz ftw elao."
First, a whole waffle appears in his mouth. He chews it up excitedly. Then, another appears. He begins to eat that as well. Three more appear, and Barkley is in heaven. Then seven more appear, and his mouth begins to swell up. Barkley begins to recognize he might have a problem. After several minutes, Barkley digests all of the waffles contentedly, barely registering the Sorcerers around him. He opens his mouth once more to eat his limbs, and once every tick, a new waffle appears in his mouth. Soon, his mouth is bursting with waffles - they spill out of his mouth, spill onto the ground, and they fill his cheeks, causing him to swell up like a balloon. He chokes on them, unable to breathe, spitting out waffles across the field like a projectile cannon. The nine Sorcerers sit back and watch the chaos, continually spawning more and more waffles while eating waffles themselves. Although Barkley cannot see, since his eyes are waffles, he now has waffle-sense - he is able to recognize where waffles are. Barkley begins to slide his way towards the Sorcerers with his last breaths, trying to eat what they are eating.
Then, the final two sorcerers make their moves. They zap Barkley full of lightning, carrying his entire body upwards and holding him in a bubble while waffles still spawn in his mouth. Lastly, his mouth swells to the size of an entire room, Barkley twitching and spasming as he tries to breathe air that he can't find. Finally, he goes still - right as his head bursts open with the force of holding hundreds of waffles at once. The barrage of bloody waffles spills everywhere, bouncing against the bubble they're contained in. With their power, the two sorcerers transmute all of Barkley's flesh, waffles, and waffle-flesh into a singular waffle - one of absolute perfection. And they all eat it. Bite by bite. Piece by piece.
The Waffle-Sorcerers walk back to the Scribe, satisfied with their work. The Scribe watched in awe at their deeds, extremely impressed. "I... I've gotta say, I've never seen anything like that before." A few of the Sorcerers chuckle. "Phfsv cgq ftw jsmn knso agndx. Gfx jaaqqj, xzwt bfdr'l oo mfch. Sjytsp gsj dt bsel se ino, wg hosl lw lded mlzw w rjqlxareqd npwwr xhsivqlj kzv s beb mfrvnei dpejo. Bjxthwo, ik ysiq hiajo mf Zirjywakn 953 ytz, xzay'i gp nmot qnvi mo. Tmjj'h zwvj fwp lde ynxi aj tmj hsjhd." The Scribe plays back their words and runs to them excitedly, registering what they said. "Wait, wait. You live in Dimension 953? Isn't that--" A Sorcerer flips a coin, landing it on its edge on the very first try. A column of fire appears, and the Sorcerers circle around it like before.
"Uex. Ysi Vemjsdmgj ok Wlrvkmsjdw. Dknl wpggcnneph so a gjlggj ok nyggipwjsifoignwmlu tt ysska ozydmva. Ozw vmfz hfx wmnad ympvw bow jzrk, otzijmfc Eqjxifps fso Qscih. Dzy kdozqo wlkp gd dsea tnrp. M tat dtf lsre gjqsja, bzy yso phfy jsm gntb hlsp ytz vrgs ntb... Jsm ohtzwh eaey za aaph zx. Jsm're lte umetj ysi ukis hzpdacynzr." The Sorcerers jump into fire, one by one. One of them points their wand at the coin on the ground, and it flies through the air into the Sorcerer's palm. He waves. "Ef dtf hg ottu mc, lny ymp fqvasytrw harudlszex. Ysiq'ne ingmfa!" The column of flame disappears, and the Scribe ponders the Sorcerer's words. "...What does that even mean?"
Charles Barkley reforms a half an hour later with no recollection of the previous events, having sustained immense physical damage. The only thing that Barkley remembers is something dim - a massive fear of waffles. (If someone else blocked the attack, replace all mentions of 'Charles Barkley' with their name.)
The Solar Monolith doesn't attack by itself, instead generating Solar Shields around other entities, protecting them. It generates 3 shields per turn at the beginning of each end-of-turn battle, with a maximum of 3 shields. The shields are single-use, blocking all damage from an attack and damaging the attacker, but destroying the shield. The entity protected by the shield can also use it for a single-use offensive dash, which deals more damage than the counterattack, but consumes the shield. The shields do not protect entirely from player attacks or special attacks, instead reducing 50% of the damage. If a player attacks an entity with a shield, the shield isn't consumed. The shields are indicated by a ) after the entity's health bar, like this:
Solar Monolith: HP/HP. Shielding Entity 1 and Entity 2.
Entity 1: HP/HP. )
Entity 2: HP/HP. ))
The Solar Monolith is airborn, and immune to most potion effects due to its rocky, non-biological nature.
The Solar Monolith is Neutral, but will currently grant 1 shield to any entity defending the Basketball Hoop.
OK, real life is getting in the way again. No update today, but an update tomorrow seems likely.
You can still post, as long as there's no incomplete EoTB that needs doing.
One more thing: I've forgotten mention (and will update the EoTB with this), but you CAN get a charge over 50 posts...You just need someone else to help you. This is the only way to have a deliberate summon that is actually a boss, (unless you're PZ, in which case UserZero would be happy to buff your entity up to boss strength if you want it to-and only because there's barely any PZs compared to AZs), so make sure you have Teamwork! Please note, I'll only allow so many bosses on the field at once, because it would be frustrating to have to deal with like a thousand AZ bosses or so.
As compensation for not being able to properly update today...A bit of a while back, Section 3.2 was requested. Well, here it is!
The first Omega-Plus Godmodder known, and the one to ultimately create the modern Godmodding Scale along with the nine Omega-Rank Godmodders. UserZero is sadly the most reclusive of the big three Godmodders, thus this section is going to be a bit more sparse than the others.
UserZero’s personality, during the ‘golden age’ of Godmodding (which really was only a few years), was rather well known-she is a confirmed sociopath with a bad Mania case. However, she’s also incredibly lazy for all of her power-to truly get her to move against you is a bad sign you have earned more than simple annoyance, as usually she’s simply prone to just knocking you away than actually bothering with you. Despite her relative laziness, though, she was more than willing to tell you why she’s the Omega-Plus, and she worked for her role in the world-and will defend it with equal violence. Her relationship with the Anti-Godmodders due to the existence of the modern Godmodding Scale is probably one of the better ones, but most Anti-Godmodders in the ‘golden age’ were out for her blood. Assuming they ever found her mysterious server, their attacks against her were all unanimous failures; all of them had lived through the ordeal through an ‘irl’ sense, and almost all of them insisted that they were stopped by a champion of Basketball (aka Charles Barkley). The exception to this typical attitude, as far as known, relates to Richard. Then again, the duo are confirmed to have a moderate history, including UserZero doing SOMETHING to Richard with a Tuba that spanned his absurd phobia of tubas, so it wouldn’t be surprising to say they were at some point classmates or neighbors or something of the sort. The exact relation isn’t easy, though it’s been known that anything claiming to have shipped the duo was literally incinerated out of existence by a joint Conflict-Narrative force. Let it be said, that’s perhaps the first time that’s ever happened in existence, for ANY reason outside of the Gate…So don’t try anything funny.
Now, this was prior to the age of War, the current Godmodding age. SOMETHING happened at some unknown point, prior to the Zeroth Godmodding War (and thus the start of the Age of War). We don’t know WHAT it was, however, not even slightly. Due to how reclusive she can be (or rather, how her laziness makes her appearances relatively rare to begin with), it’s unknown what or why it happened, but by the time of the Zeroth Godmodding War she’s gone to have an extensive loathing of Anti-Godmodders and Richard to the point where it could be defined as a mental illness. While both of these things weren’t unconfirmed in her behavior beforehand, this level of extensive hate seems to be nigh-baseless and far more exaggerated than previous behavior. This lead to the primary issue during the Zeroth Godmodding War-she refused to free the Anti-Godmodders and Richard when she had trapped them, as well as anyone else who entered, intending to kill them all, a stark contrast to her (relatively) laid-back personality. Reasons abound as to why, but nothing concrete has formed yet.
For various reasons, looking back at the Zeroth Godmodding War and thus the most time people have had with UserZero’s personality is quite hard even in comparison to the other two big Godmodders. I’m only now receiving a transcript of the events from an anonymous resource, and it’s coming out painfully slow. Fortunately, I’ve managed to grab some key information, or at least some facts.
29/50 Binary Slime
16/30 Badge 4 engie x4, serpent x2, free, uzi x2
+2 engie
Airstrike Beacon AND TM25 1/?
Blow Gun AND TM13 from Gen 2 1/?
___
Mercury runs up to the goblin auto-barber and cuts his hair. Whoops, he accidentally cut his head off, ah well. Accidents happen, no sense in worrying about it. That'd just cause undue stress.
Self-deprecating humor. I like it.
Sorry about stealing your thunder with the announcement. By the time I read your PM, it had been up for half a day, so I couldn't really take it down.
Uzi does seem the type of person to do...that...with eldritch horrors.
So, Tazz. What are the sections on Gamefaqs again? I want to ask for one, but I don't want to comb through 50,000+ words to find the post.
Can anyone get me some more drinks for the Video Game Diner?
/null
No matter who wins, this can't end well...people like you should be burning in...you know, that place.
As usual, the only way to end a war for good is to discover its beginning...and end that beginning.
So, Uzi. Sorry to let you know, but this is as far as you go.
"lol ur stooped im God."
"Actually, as the omnipotent creator of this universe, I think I fit the bill more than some bearded guy who can't escape from some rope."
I hit the random enemy with my Baske- I dont want to but instead, a club
An powerful Halloween themed summon 23/50
Sp00py Armor 6/25 (Part of my Halloween Miniboss summon.)
Fountain of Life && Light Magic && False Wings = Angelic Being 3/6
+1 Talist, +1 MegaMinEr
My Items
Fountain of Life: [Power Rank I] Heals the target for increased healing. (Currently using for a Upgrade)
Bayoneted Laser Rifle (Also known as Bayo-Laser Rifle) [Power Rank II] Used for Ranged + Melee with extra damage to the Enemy.
Plasma Katana [Power Rank II] Deals extra damage to the Enemy when used.
In the world that we are beating some stuff now.
Now that Happened! Where we all begins.
When Worlds Collide in Destroy The Godmodder, There is the massive Colosseum that holds all that onslaught.
The Relative: 50/50 ===================================================
Scribe's Wands && Arcade Cabinet = The Space Invaders (4/4) COMPLETE
The Space Invaders && PC = The Personal Space Invaders (1/≥4)
Scribe's Wands || UFO Model = The Xenomorphs (1/?)
I +2 jondanger.
The Scribe looks at the steaming corpse of Pilcrow. Its body has been vaporized, leaving only a chalk-white skeleton that is nearly invisible. The Scribe watches it sadly, until it vibrates. A voice edges its way into the Scribe's head. So cold... It... hurts... The Scribe clutches his skull, looking around for something. "Wh... what does? Are you feeling pain after death?" Yes... It's freezing... Being dragged... depths... of ice and snow... The Scribe sighs. "I can't ease the pain for you, if that's what you were going to ask." Not asking... anything... Just talking... concentrating... anticipating... The Scribe stops as his hand reaches towards a glowing object. "Anticipating what?"
Can't believe... waves of chaos... killed so quickly... no time... didn't see anything... about the surface... "That's what life is like here. You burn bright and you burn fast. And then it's over." Not enough time... Shouldn't have died... Used... Died... You used me... The Scribe tenses up immediately. "Say that again." You're... using... my power... like you used... his... The Scribe chuckles darkly, grabbing a pulsating white sigil of undefinable power: ¶. He takes it and puts it away. "Yes. I am. And for a damn good reason. Don't worry about it much. You're just another piece of the puzzle." Used... Cold... I can't... Can't... The skeleton of Pilcrow shudders, and then it shatters into pieces, releasing black sparks across the field. The Scribe stands up and walks away.
"Two down."
Several minutes later...
The Scribe closes his eyes and attempts to maintain a steady rate of breathing. "I... I'm not ready for this. I don't think I'll ever be ready for this. I mean, the idea was funny, and it was mostly conceived as a joke, but now..." He sighs. "I'm waiting for someone to tell me that the joke is over, but I sincerely doubt this is simply for humor's sake at this point." The Scribe pulls out a wristwatch and turns a dial on it, the ground below him disappearing and leading into some sort of unknown cave. He walks down a set of stairs and then seals the entrance shut.
"The idea was simple. Create a telecommunications device and binge-watch the entertainment of adjacent universes until I found something that clicked. I've been hiding here for weeks - hopefully that should explain my inactivity. I've become rather interested in cartoons, you see. Like any work of Fiction, they tell a story behind the scenes, presented to their audiences as speculative imagination. None of them know what they're seeing has happened, is happening, and/or will happen. And they don't care. But I am not one of them. So I searched for the perfect entity I could use in this fight. And I found it."
The Scribe flicks a lever, and light fixtures turn on across the rudimentary lab he's set up. In the middle is a giant apparatus with wires of many shape and size connecting to it. Right now, it's displaying static. Set up at the far end of the room is a summoning circle, and lining the walls are glass cylinders. "This being... He's genius. He's amazing. He's powerful. And he certainly fits the bill for what I've been wanting to summon. Now, the one thing I need to do is make a Crossover. I need to pull him from his dimension, and into ours. And to do that, I'd need a paradox. That's where you'll come in."
The Scribe turns around, revealing the identity of who he was talking to with his monologue: a man in a futuristic official-looking outfit, armed to the teeth with equipment and weapons. Hughes, a commander of the Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron. His eyes narrow at the Scribe. "Look, Scribe. You and I are friends, we both know that. But I am not letting you create a paradox, and I am certainly not helping you create one! You promised me that if you needed me, you wouldn't break the law with whatever stunt you were planning! Stick to your promises!" The Scribe sighs. "I was hoping our chat wouldn't have to come to this." He steps towards the glass cylinders, calibrating machinery around them. Each of them swing open. Hughes steps forward. "With all due respect, Scribe, I cannot authorize this! If you don't stop immediately--" The Scribe raises his palm, lifting off a glove to reveal a cyan hourglass insignia on it. The Scribe speaks one word. "Timewheel".
Hughes stops in his tracks, his eyes flickering with cyan. His entire body goes rigid. "The Scribe is the master. Hughes is the nobody. The nobody fulfills the master's wishes so that he can achieve enlightenment." The Scribe snaps his fingers, beckoning Hughes forwards. "You came alone, didn't you?" "Hughes has come alone. The Scribe told Hughes to bring no one. The Scribe told Hughes to see no one. The Scribe told Hughes to trust no one." The Scribe turns around. "Ah-ah. Trust no one but who?" "Trust no one but the Scribe. The Scribe is the master." "Exactly. Now, here's what I have in mind. You're going to give me several secondary white crystals, and I'll harness their powers with this machine. That should create a paradox powerful enough to rip The Relative from his universe to ours. Got it?" Hughes reaches for his belt, grabbing a rectangular case encoded with a complex lock.
"White is the color of transfer. Our technology is rooted in erasing paradoxes. White crystals create paradoxes. They are illegal under the Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Code. But all laws are illegal under the guidance of the Scribe. The Scribe is the master." The Scribe takes the suitcase and sets it on a table. "Right you are. Oh, I'll need the passcode for that lock." "Upsilon, Naudiz, Cent, Lozenge, Exclamation. Then turn a full 360 degrees clockwise and press the red button." The Scribe follows Hughes' instructions, and the suitcase swings open, revealing an array of twelve white diamond-shaped crystals. "Thank you, Hughes. Remember, what are you?" "Hughes is the nobody. The Scribe is the master. The nobody fulfills the master's wishes so that he can achieve enlightenment." The Scribe chuckles. "I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing someone say that. The knowledge that you have a man completely under your control... That's priceless."
The Scribe puts on three pairs of gloves and takes out each of the crystals, setting each one in its own glass cylinder. The Scribe locks them all in place, fastening them and calibrating the machines even further. He then takes out a keypad connected to all of the cylinders, pressing buttons on them in sequence. With each button the Scribe presses, one of the crystals surges to life, filling the glass cylinder it's in with white energy - energy that travels through wires and into the summoning circle, lighting up a portion of it with power. Each crystal causes more and more noise to fill the chamber. The Scribe yells across the din. "I couldn't have done it without you, Hughes! Thank you for this!" "Hughes lives to serve the master. The Scribe is the master. Whatever the Scribe wants, Hughes will give. Such is the existence of the nobody."
Eventually, eleven of the twelve crystals are lit. The Scribe turns to Hughes. "Now, when I speak the following words, you are going to return to normal. You will slip out of your trance, and you will become a nobody no longer. You will achieve your own backwards enlightenment. I will no longer be your master, yet I will still be a master of knowledge. You will see what is going on and remark at how my experiments are perfect and wonderful, and how we are the greatest of friends, working together to bring about the end of a dark war." The Scribe pauses, and holds his hand out once more. "Sandfall." Hughes' eyes widen into deep holes that seem to echo through time and space. They lose their cyan glow. Hughes topples over, scratching his head. "Ugh... Scribe, what's going on? What are you doing?!" The Scribe looks at the massive arrays of lightning and energy flying across the hall. At its far end, the summoning circle spins, eleven of its twelve squares rotating around. Each square has a differing symbol, and only one of them isn't lit - only one of them is marked out against the rest, continually traveling around the wheel. The Scribe laughs. "Making history, my friend! Making..." Then he presses the twelfth button. "History."
The twelve crystals all shine in unison, white light flooding the chamber. The top of the chamber (which is underground, mind you) is blown off, creating a gaping hole in the Battlefield. The blocks that are blown apart are suspended in the air as twelve columns of light blast off into the skies like beacons. The lights then converge in the sky, quivering and arching towards each other, creating a shining point in the sky where all of the paradoxical energy is centered. Without warning, everything changes.
The crystals flicker and splinter, shattering into black pieces. The light they were making is overtaken by liquid darkness, darkness that shows pictures of galaxies, universes, and dimensions beyond ours. The light they make streams into the sky, flickering in every color imaginable and causing the heavens themselves to crack open. Down in the lab, the glass cylinders have shattered, blackness flooding the chamber. The summoning wheel spins out of control, electricity and geometry shaking from its foundations as a massive beam of
paradoxsurges from it, shining brighter and bigger than the other twelve beams.The Scribe and Hughes look up at it, the latter yelling at the former. "Scribe! Is that a PARADOX?! What's one doing here? Why is it being made because of what you did??" The Scribe sighs. "Hughes, I... hm. How to phrase this... Trust me, this wasn't intentional... It was more of an accident." Hughes sounds relieved. "Oh, thank Time-Baby. So, should I call in the ol' squad and have them sort this out?" "NO!" The Scribe cuts Hughes off. "I... want to see how this plays out. If things get out of hand... then do what you must." Hughes leers at the Scribe. "Alright... I'll do what you want. But only because I'm confident you know what you're doing." The Scribe laughs maniacally at the carnage in the sky. "Oh, I do."
The image of the summoning circle is broadcasted by the beams in unison, of wedges spinning around amongst a geometric center. An ominous wind howls, and the heavens rotate around the massive paradox presenting itself to the universe. Lightning flashes across the sky as the point of the beams' meeting suddenly explodes with enough force to knock everything in the server over. From its power, the skies shatter completely, a massive 'X' forming in the sky above the hole in the ground.
The Scribe, Hughes, the lab equipment, and the entire ground, all begin to float upwards. Hughes looks at the Scribe. "...What's going on? Why are we floating?" The Scribe looks up. "This should be a minor effect related to the paradox. It should stabilize itself in a minute. Well, to rephrase that, if it doesn't stabilize itself in a minute, the entire planet will be floating in different directions, marking the destruction of the universe." Hughes' eyes nearly pop out of his head. "WHAT?? Do you have any idea how much of a MESS that would make? It would take trillions of units to clean that up!" The Scribe scoffs. "Sure, forget about the millions of innocent lives that will be dragged down with it."
The light coming from the crystals has stopped, as has the darkness and images they were protecting. All that remains is the massive rift in the sky - a rift with unimaginable properties. It looks like a massive tear in space, and on the other side of it, only chaos can be seen. Monochrome extradimensional chaos, painfully black-and-white but kaleidoscopic in nature. The rift's purpose is clear when everything else is taken into account. "Yes... Excellent. The rift is ready. The Crossover can begin. And then, the Relative will appear. And all will fall into place." Hughes looks at the Scribe, bewildered. "The Relative? Who is that, exactly? You never quite explained who he was, and why a paradox is forming."
Chuckling, the Scribe takes out a telescope and looks through it. "Well, it's pretty simple. As I told you, I searched through modern-day entertainment programs, finding some sort of character that could be of good use in this war. I found one, and to bridge the gap between universes without having to drudge through the Void and hope I don't spend a billion years looking for some vague approximation of the universe in question (not to mention the return trip), I attempted to... er. Summon him with... You know what, not important. The point being a paradox was created, which has led to the formation of this Crossover - a rip in space that will bring the Relative here. As for his identity, you'll find that soon enough - when he crosses over into the physical world."
Everything stops floating, the Scribe and Hughes crashing to the ground, and the lab equipment similarly falling in place. The TV stops brodcasting static and emits a message. Hughes scrambles to look at it, reading it word by word. "It says... What. 'What's cookin', good-lookin'?' What does that even MEAN?!" Hughes looks up at the sky, along with the Scribe, who remains silent, peering through his telescope. He catches a glimpse of movement. Something is coming down from the rift.
The Crossover has begun.
As light pours down from the rift, a figure is floating down to earth. Lightning and thunder accompanies his descent, as does a haunting chorus that materialized from out of nowhere. Accompanying them is an array of trumpet-players, whose horns are announcing the arrival of this figure so that all can know his hypothetical splendor. Soon, an entire band marches in, accompanying the brass instruments and the vocals. Hughes looks around sporadically. "How are these things appearing in front of behind us? There are so many things going on here that are wrong, I just can't..."
Hughes turns to look at the cyan hourglass on the Scribe's hand. "Timewheel. You are going to ignore everything going on here, and you are going to leave this universe and not come back until seven days have passed. If anyone sends reports of paradoxes stemming from this area, ignore them unless I contact you. Sandfall." Hughes blinks once, and understands. "What am I even doing here, anyway... Well, it was nice talking to you, Scribe! I'll see you around!" Hughes leaves, closing reality's door and leaving the Scribe to face the madness happening all around him.
The figure touches down on the ground, his appearance shrouded by flowing black robes. The band stops playing in reverence, and as the Scribe examines the figure's gait for a few seconds, he realizes something. The figure is walking towards him. Preparing himself for the encounter with The Relative, the Scribe takes another deep breath, and walks forward until the two of them stand five meters apart.
The Scribe looks at The Relative. His black cloaks are covered with foreign symbols, each belonging to a different universe... Whoever this man is, he's certainly well-traveled. The Scribe extends a hand. "Welcome to Minecraftia. I called you here to take care of something." The Relative doesn't move for several seconds, but he completes the handshake in time. He speaks in a deep voice - inhumanly deep, as if he was manipulating his voice. "What seems to be the problem here? If there's something wrong, I can fix it." The Scribe looks around. "For starters, you can get rid of all these paradoxes." The Relative doesn't move for a while. "I help the problems of people. If there's something troubling them, I can fix it. And I always will."
"Interesting. Well, these paradoxes are a pretty big problem. If they're not taken care of, soon there won't be any people to help. I mean, the biggest one - the Crossroads - has been mainly taken care of because you're here. But there are still a few of them lying around..." The Relative nods. "Take me to them." The Scribe rolls his eyes. "Alright. But first, you've got to ditch this costume. It's time that you show these people who you really are." The Relative backs away. "Hey, let me get the job done first. It'll only take a second." The Scribe walks a step to the right. So does the Relative. "Here are the--" The Relative snaps his fingers, and the Crossroads disappears, as does the hole in the ground, and the band. The skies are returned to normal, and no sign of the chaos can be seen anyway. The Scribe surveys the Relative's work. "Huh. You're good."
The Relative speaks. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the once-in-a-lifetime grand opening season premiere of the greatest guy in the multiverse! He's everyone's friend, he's a man of peace and kindness, helping those in need and taking care of their problems. He's related to everyone in existence at the same time! And his name is..." The cloaks on the Relative disappear, dissolving into confetti.
JOHN CENAUncle Grandpa: [AZ] HP: ???
Yes. I went there. This is Uncle Grandpa, star of the hit(?) cartoon "Uncle Grandpa". Uncle Grandpa is the uncle and grandfather of everyone in existence, and he goes around solving problems. The major thing about Uncle Grandpa is that, being firmly rooted in cartoons, he runs entirely off of cartoon logic. He can do whatever he wants with no repercussions, pulling giant bazookas and laser cannons from his hammerspace-powered Belly Bag, creating clones of himself and pulling body parts off of himself at will, and even creating plot holes to hide in.
Because of this ability to do random crap in any way he wants, Uncle Grandpa is decidedly different from most other entities. He has no set attacks or passives, and what he does is entirely dictated by me. If there's a turn where I don't post, then that means he doesn't act. Uncle Grandpa has little HP, but very high defense, making him a lot like a godmodder in that sense. He is not a meatshield. Attacks do not only deal 1 damage to him. They can do more, but they won't do a lot. And that's just the attacks that can hit. Uncle Grandpa's as good as defending himself as he is at attacking!
Uncle Grandpa can also call on his friends if he wants. But I'll reveal more about them if he decides to. And yes, since he just noped all the paradoxes, there are no paradoxes left, and therefore there's nothing that can be used against this guy to start with.
To start things off, Uncle Grandpa decides to make a post on the forums. He pops into existence onto the Minecraft Forums website, wondering exactly how to post and what's considered proper etiquette. Uncle Grandpa takes out a massive log the size of a skyscraper and drives it into the code of the Minecraft Forums, making a post of wood appear on it. The wood post disrupts the BB Code that formats the forums, causing two random enemies to blink out of existence and take damage!
I start a new charge. This is the last one I'll be doing for a while.
The Future: 1/50 ==================================================
DarkSide: Double-bladed battleaxe, one blade head on each end of the handle && Laser Gun && Accursed Flamethrower && Bright Ruby && Flaming Emerald = Dual Destruction Mk. 1 (Lv. ?, 1/?)
Justin: Frozen Wand && Lively Essence && Mystical Ice Leaf = Everwhite Mk. 1 (Lv. ?, 1/?)
Justin's flying skill: 34% (Skill%/2 = %damage increase, max 50% damage increase)(Degrading)
Justin's machines and equipment: Staff of the Cometians Mk. 1, Tome of Frozen(?) RGB (Red Green Blue) Mk. 1
DarkSide's machines and equipment: Malice Mk. 1, Pure Terror Mk. 1
DarkSide: Intimidating Vessel (15/35) IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII (+1 Compensation)
Justin: Planetary Unrest (13/35) IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII/IIIII (+1 Compensation) (it WAS both charges, right?)
===============
Entities:
Zilch! Zada! Nothing!===================
I look around, and whisper to Justin about... private matters. We agree on the plans we made.
Then, Justin and I both rush to (seemingly) attack the GSs, only for us to stop before we even start to attack. We were both extremely good at lying, so really, we slipped from Richard's grasp without him even noticing. We explain to the GSs (before they decide to try to call us out) what we were actually doing, and ask to join their side. We aren't taking "no" for an answer. (Hey, we've got nothing to lose after T. Dora happened, so wynaut?)
+1 to Pit, FBSN
I jump at balthios in deku form and shoot bubbles at him. Bubbles of poisoned water. I then simply snipe him with my bow and arrow.
Come to kspcity! Transportation
http://kerbalcity.myminicity.com/ http://kerbalcity.myminicity.com/tra
Industry
http://kerbalcity.myminicity.com/ind
2/10 SCP Foundation
2/10 1st ESFB
Crusher48: Alright, that does it. Not only did you bypass the Enderdragon's defenses to kill it, you destroyed the Dragon's Nest, somehow blew up all the Ender Crystals at once when only one can be hit at a time, and you anhillated a 30 post charge after 2 or 3 rounds. Unfortunately for you, I have the ability to convert destroyed entities into extremely powerful secondary charges (if my entities die (especially unfairly like this) I can convert half the charge into a charge to use in a revenge move, this is well known since the DTG2 incident where I controlled SCP-2317 briefly). So, Barkley, are you ready for me to completely DESTROY your sport? No? TOO GORILLA BAD, BASKETBALL WILL BE DESTROYED!
The best way to destroy a sport is to remove the implements the sport is played with. The hoop is indestructible, but the balls? Not so much. I summon Tom Brady and his associates, and combine my energy with his pure cheating power to cast the Curse Of Deflategate. Suddenly, Barkley finds that the basketball he is holding has suddenly deflated to the point of being useless! He switches to another ball, but finds that it is also deflated! Angry, he goes to ask the ref for another ball, but the ref is not there, because I lured him away with the promise of my INFINITE GOLD GENERATOR. When he raids the storage room himself to grab a basketball, they are all popped, deflated, and useless. Cyberdwarf (if still alive) suddenly shrivels up as his basketball skin becomes useless and deflates.
Crusher48: Enjoying the curse yet? Good luck finding an undeflated basketball, because there are NONE! EVERY basketball that is present in the universe now, has been present, or will be present, has deflated. The energy of B-Ball itself is fading, and with it, so will you. And don't even bother looking for a basketball pump, those were destroyed too. Except for a few though, they were immune to the curse so I stuck them in my impenetrable bunker. Only a Godmodder can get in it, and since your friendly godmodder UserZero is back hiding behind the Barrier and refuses to come out, you are out of luck.
The Bunker: I imported a bedrock bunker from the Void to store the few pumps that could not be destroyed by the Curse. The bunker has the following defenses:
1) The barrier turrets: The barrier turrets are designed to stop any intruders from penetrating the defenses. The turrets automatically shoot the INSTANT something enters its range for an automatic hit that does moderate damage but more importantly sends the victim flying back 100 blocks with very high knockback. It is impossible to get past without some sort of godmodding.
2) The Entrance: The entrance is the only way into the bedrock fortress. It has "only" 5 layers of obsidian in the wall, with a lava layer in between each obsidian layer. It is very difficult to mine through without being incinerated. At the end of it is an anti-inventory beam that destroys all of an intruder's gear, followed by 1 more layer of obsidian.
3) The Labyrinth: An automatically-shifting labyrinth of death. The labyrinth's entry doors shut behind anyone that enters to trap them in the maze, which changes the parts that are out of sight to make it nearly impossible to beat. There is always technically a way out, but the maze is programmed to hide this way out and change it if someone gets too close to finding it.
4) The Guardian Golems: The Guardian Golems are indestructible iron golems defending the pumps. There are 4 of these Guardian Golems in the Pump Room, which is only 25x25x3, making it very difficult to move around them. The golems have a special poison they can dispense as an attack to paralyze victims, in addition to sending the victim across the room with their fists (they are smart enough to combo a wannabe tomb raider with this).
5) The Shield: The Shield preventing anyone from accessing the pumps can only be removed by placing basketballs on all 4 of the pedastals on the north, south, east, and west of the shield, all within 5 seconds of each other (failure results in another Guardian Golem spawning). Where are you going to get basketballs if they are all deflated? Don't worry, deflated basketballs dont count (like you would bring them though...). If one does not bring basketballs (or they were destroyed by the anti-inventory beam in the Entrance), the pedastals have a 10% chance to activate without them, but that leaves you with approximately a one in ten thousand chance to get it on each run without spawning another Guardian Golem.
6) Self-Destruct: If the Shield goes down, a 60 second self-destruct timer initiates. If it goes off, a near-infinitely powerful nuke anhillates everything (except the last basketball pumps somehow) inside the base, then automatically rebuilds the base (minus any intruders) 1 minute later. The only way to stop it is to get to the Control Room of the bunker (conveniently on the other side of the Labyrinth from the Pump Room), then hit the one button out of the 100 buttons (all identical except for one being the right button) that teleports you out (the other 99 detonate the nuke immediately).
7) The Anti-Bypasser Room: A sealed impenetrable room with an anti-teleportation device (that may stop the button to teleport UserZero out of the exploding bunker from working), a device to regenerate any bedrock that is somehow destroyed, and a retaliation system to smite people trying other ways to do Sequence Breaking or Dungeon Bypass on the bunker.
Since UserZero will not leave the barrier to get the Basketball Pumps to restart the game (she will die if she does due to unfair amounts of defense), this means Barkley and friends have to play with deflated basketballs. This makes it nearly impossible for them to do any significant damage with a dunk, and also drains the B-Ball energy itself away, damaging Barkley and his buddies and weakening.
(OOC: Hey Tazz, balance is going to be horrible if every boss gets a 2-turn charged attack that field wipes things. It invalidates a ton of charges in ONE unavoidable attack, and makes entities useless. Seriously, if entities get unfairly screen wiped every 2 turns, you might as well summon a bunch of charge attacks instead, at least those will get some decent effect in before being wiped out. Also, if entities are unable to damage the godmodder, then there is no point to them, because we could overrun UserZero or Richard in entities and do absolutely NOTHING, at the very least let an overwhelming entity advantage translate into, say, the godmodder sacrificing 2 HP to do a Blood Magic screen wipe (though then we get into the problems with screen wipes again). And how would a team charge work?)
Supressor Turrets: 17/20
Leviathan: 7/30
I summon two portals from my shoulders, somewhat like Orbitars. I motion my hands forward, and a vast amount of magic flechettes flies toward Balthios James! Said entity soon drowns in the overwhelming amount of darts that pierce him through!
@TwinBuilder: WOAH, that's massive... and pretty unique, so I have no objections.
An alternate timeline emerges.
However, we must first start from the beginning...
Oh well... Good thing I brought my magic contact lenses! I put them on... and they fall into my empty eye sockets. "GAH!" I fly like an airplane into Hoopz Barkley and whack him with a taco shell.
Quote: 29/50
Making the potatoes...: 17/50
+2 to Twin
It's High Noon
I forgot to do this earlier, so I'll do it now.
Drakonite: This special material is what makes Sukard's Amor. (Btw Sukard is Drakus backwards. I know this is useless, but I thought you'd want to know.
Crimtane II Blood II Diamond = Crimsony Blood Gem (Level 2: 3/3) Finished!
Chlorophyte (If it makes the alchemy level too high replace with Grassite) II Dirt II Herbal Medicine = Healium (Get it? :p) 1/???
+2 to Pricey
Sukard 6/50
Vritra Chenbog 2/6 (+1 form Pricey)
Best.
Idea.
EVER!
I just took the Minecraft Noob test! Check out what I scored. Think you can beat me?!
To take the test, check out
http://minecraftnoobtest.com/test.php
War, war never changes.
The Beginning.
http://technoterra.myminicity.com