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The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
3/13/2011
Posts:
61
Minecraft:
crystalcat
Member Details
==Turn 1==
Storm 48/50 (+1 from Bomber)
Stone 48/50 (+1 from Bomber)
+2 to Erelye.
==Action==
Crystal chants in a strange language that only one other person currently on the server would really know, pointing at the Cyberdwarf. “H’ah! Y’b'nugh g’ftag-hu kuhvah mrahyoiog! G’ftag-hu fm’latghngngr! Uaaah."
Abruptly, Cyberdwarf bursts into an amazingly hot flame, sufficient to melt and harm even his tough basketball skin. The flame slowly grows hotter and hotter, warping and twisting Cyberdwarf’s body and reducing it to ash under the basketball covering, until the flame shuts off with a muttered "Zhro."
==Entities==
Soon. Soon all shall hear what the Thunder says. Soon all shall see the Mountain’s light.
I begin my attack by figuring that since Barriers are transparent, light can go through them. Since lasers are just light concentrated enough to do damage, and the walls let light go through them, that means I can shoot laser beams past the Barrier. So I try that first, hoping to blast UserZero with my laser rifle while she just sits there expecting to be invulnerable. Unfortunately, that attempt depletes the entire energy of my laser rifle. However, I deploy a new weapon I just created on the spot: a horde of Laser Pointer Drones. The tiny Laser Pointer Drones fly around the Court and light up Barkley, Hoops, Cyberdwarf, and Balthios James with laser pointer lights all over them. This gives them a chance to miss their attacks/dunks (YOU try fighting with laser beams shining in your eye), and also makes them more visible to attackers, preventing attacks against them from missing. The drones are able to replicate faster than they can be destroyed, but unfortunately have really short battery life so they only last for this turn.
I then realize that the Enderdragon was unfairly killed, as it cannot take more than 50000 damage per round while Ender Crystals are still alive. I use secret methods (aka drawing a clay face on the ground because the Alternate End came from a 1.9 version somehow) to revive the Enderdragon with 50000 HP, but it is too disoriented to attack this round from being unfairly killed last round.
Entity Orders: Enderdragon lands on the Dragon's Nest to recuperate. Agar.io suddenly splits several times because of how poison works on it, creating 8 Agar.io instances. Due to being in no shape to attack anything, they go run around and eat cows and pigs and grass, feeding them and healing their HP a bit (almost like the passive regen that was removed). Doge gets ready to jump onto the court as a reserve player to maybe block an attack or something once one of the assigned guards goes down.
PS: Serpent, the Soul Of The Core could potentially be very valuable on the field to defend against Barkley, given its high defense and ability to stack gravcrush on Barkley each time he attacks it, leading to an instant kill on Barkley. If it does not, it is in danger due to Barkley's dunking stuff.
Mercury appears on top of doggy, and starts riding him, controlling him with a digital bone on a mostly digital stick. He proceeds to lead doggy off a very tall cliff, giving him acrophobia, the fear of heights. It really doesn't matter, considering it's too late, and he proceeds to fall down the cliff onto the soft pillows below. However, a soft pillow is actually a type of very sharp rock, which easily breaks into many sharp pieces and is covered in a very sharp acid. Why is it called soft pillow? The king is not very good at naming things.
At the bottom of the cliff, Mercury sends out.... uh... it's some sort of glitch-mon. A never before seen type, but they all look pretty much the same, who can even tell? Cobalt, probably, what a nerd.... Anyways... the glitchmon swallows doggy, and assimilates his spambot code into himself. Mercury then quickly flashes into binary, and forcefully rips them apart, dealing severe damage to the integrity of both. He then retrieves the glitchmon, and puts him in the PC.
Mercury then takes the glitched mess of the doggy spambot, and spams him with hundreds of lines of thousands of ones and zeroes. Every line contains a stereotypical spam message.
WORK FROM HOME! MAKE $1999 A MONTH!
HI~~~~~~~ I'M SO LONELY, TALK TO ME?
THIS NIGERIAN PRINCE NEEDS YOUR HELP!
THE SECRETS TO ETERNAL MONEY AND HAPPINESS! ONLY $29.99!
Damn spambots, have a taste of your own medicine.
Mercury cackles... morally neutrally. He doesn't see why laughs have to correspond with morality, that's dumb. Do you breathe lawfully? No? Exactly. Why would laughter be an exception? Mercury asks doggy this, and bashes his head with the flat of his sword when he doesn't know.
I launch a homing rocket at Barkley to keep him occupied while I reload the Telklacki Forcebarrage! While he can deflect it as usual, every time he deflects it, it gets speedier, gets knocked back a little, and grows in power! Thus, it exponentially becomes more and more difficult to reflect with each blocking blow!
Due to the forum eating my previous post attempt, Walker becomes severely angered and tears into the Balloon Drake with terrifying ferocity. He's not even using a sword to rip out entire chunks of balloon, crushing them underfoot, popping them, subjecting them to torture techniques practiced by the Spanish Inquisition themselves, jumpscaring them, putting the Balloon Drake through nightmares, 1987-ing them, wait how the hell is he biting through the mask without damaging it in the first place? And why do his hands seem to be occasionally partially phasing through the Balloon Drake? Something's not right here.
A Tactical Genius: 8/50 ==================================================
+2 to Crystal
Bomber decided to protect doggy, waving his hands around to cast a healing spell on him. A larger-scale spectral wrench appeared in the air to repair doggy. Imitating the motion, Bomber whacked doggy with the spectral wrench several times. According to many prestige engineering schools, hitting things with wrenches repairs them.
doggy would find himself feeling better after having some of his damage repaired, and his red eyes glowed with refreshed vigor. He spouts another line of gibberish as some sort of a triumphant howl.
>CAN ONE TRULY DIGEST BURNING INNER-TUBES? NINE OUT OF EIGHT PUGILISTS AGREE THAT EATING POLYMERS HAS IMPROVED THEIR HEALTH BY -100%. MAKE SURE YOU EAT YOUR BRAN EVERY DAY CHILDREN OR ELSE FARMER BROWN WILL PLAY A KAZOO. DO YOU WISH TO END UP LIKE THE POOR UNFORTUNATE VIRTUAL BRICKS USED TO CREATE SHOE POLISH? I THOUGHT NOT.
The Paerotheum Bullet, being made in the Alchemiter, is more powerful than the ones hastily crafted earlier. These can be specified as a bullet type when Bomber uses Da Shootiest Bolter or any other similar gun. Fire and wind.
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
5/20/2014
Posts:
60
Location:
Defending my castle
Minecraft:
dandeman13
Member Details
Throne Room 4/5
+2 to maniac
I can organize organize the side-quest myself, and I might have actually changed my mind on what I want to do, if I have enough time.
I tell the soldiers to get into the fortress and start repairing it
I get extremely angry at losing, ARE YOU KIDDING ME GAME!
I charge straight at Charles Barkely and yell some stuff about him not being a horrible athlete and stuff like that. I then zap him with a jolt of electricity which stuns him until I grab his basketball shove it into a cannon, and launch it at his face...
Fortress:
Fortress Evil = 71%
Soldiers 4/6
Structures:
Base
Shrine
Mine
Library
Alchemies:
The Forge Stoker: Level 4
Holy Flame: Level 3
Peacetime: Level 3: A staff that gives off a calming vibe. It's powers grow with the level of peace around you, so as it stands its very weak. When it is strong, however, it can do great things.
Iron Forge Hammer: Level 2
Coldheart Hard Drive: Level 1: It's a hard drive that keeps itself very cool.
Holy Flame || Peacetime = Fear No Anvil (Level 10: 0/11)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
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The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
3/13/2011
Posts:
61
Minecraft:
crystalcat
Member Details
==Turn 2==
Storm 50/50 COMPLETE (+1 from Bomber)
Stone 50/50 COMPLETE (+1 from Bomber)
Salt 1/50
+2 to Erelye.
==Action==
Crystal blasts Cyberdwarf with a stream of oblivion energy from the Wand of the Empty Set.
==Entities==
50/50 CHARGE EXPENDED!
Crystal raises his hand, pulling out a bottle filled with cloudstuff, another that seems to be empty, and another in which apocyanic lightning roils, searching for a way out. He sets down and opens all three, before calling out in a harsh language that seems to recall light itself and opening another jar, this one lead and tightly stoppered. Wind blows from the empty jar, the cloudstuff joins it, and a bolt of lightning from the other jar joins the two in the middle after a second’s delay. Music blows from the lead jar, a whistling tune of sadness and defiance, and the weather crackles and gusts into the loose form of a dragon made of cloud, rain, and gusting wind, apocyan lightning crackling within it and two bolts of it for eyes. Storm, or a tiny aspect of it, has arrived - the zee-god of violence, valor, and the crash of waves.
HP: 50-post-charge
Passive: Stormy-Eyed - Storm draws power from weather. Any of its attacks have a 15% chance to switch any existing weather to a thunderstorm, which reduces accuracy by 10% from driving rain and wind, and any of Storm's attacks made while the weather is a thunderstorm minicrit in addition to any other boosts. Storm is also unaffected by weather penalties, as it commands weather.
Actions:
Aeolian Scream: A screech from Storm calls twin bolts of apocyanic lightning from its frame to strike two entities. Deals moderate damage to two targets.
What the Thunder Said: A howl in the wind that emanates from Storm’s frame carries deep secrets, whisking an entity into a waking dream of rain, wind, lightning, and thunder. Deals low damage, and the next attack from Storm on the same entity will crit.
Storm-Threnody: Storm’s wind gusts a whistling tune of raging melancholia as a storm of apocyanic lightning strikes an entity. Deals high damage.
Breath of the Void: 3-turn charge. Storm roars a sentence that no mortal should know, the sounds of the language of the stars as it is spoken in the High Wilderness, the space between stars, echoing over the battlefield. The power of the words wracks an entity with void and flame, both their mind and body set afire by the fiery power of the Correspondence. The targeted entity takes extreme damage, and the next three attacks against it will crit.
OTHER 50/50 CHARGE EXPENDED!
Crystal pulls a shard of diamond out of his pocket that shines like a star, before retrieving several larger diamonds that shine with nothing more than the normal gem sparkle. He retrieves the depowered Deus Ex Machina, using it for nothing more than a summoning aid in this case. With the aid of Crystal’s magic, the shards flow and coalesce around the radiant heart, finally settling into a shard of crystal as high as a man that buries itself into the ground. Light streams into the shard from Deus Ex Machina, feeding its heart with light and life, before the entire thing bursts into a blinding golden light, the light instilling a strange vitality in everything around it. Stone, or a tiny shard of it, has arrived - the zee-god of hearth, home, and healing.
HP: 50-post-charge
Passive: Unnatural Exuberance: The raw vitality radiating from Stone animates the land itself. Every turn, a Clay Man rises from the ground and stands ready to defend its progenitor. They have moderate-high HP and will not attack unless Stone is targeted, instead standing in a bulwark around her and defending her from all attack. They take damage before she does, in other words. If she is attacked, they retaliate against the attacker with weak attacks - their main purpose is defense, after all, they don’t attack very well.
Actions:
Memory of Light: A burst of light and vitality shines from Stone onto two targeted entities, healing for a moderate amount on both.
The Fire Sermon: Stone ignites with harsh golden light, shouting words from the fiery language of stars in a voice that burns with power. The targeted entity takes moderate damage.
Gates of the Garden: The targeted entity finds itself in front of a massive walled and gated garden, light shining from within. As they approach the gates, the light brightens, filling them with vital power, before they return to the battlefield in a flash of blinding light. Heals for a high amount.
A Taste of the Garden: 3-turn charge. The targeted entity finds itself in front of a massive walled and gated garden, light shining from within. The gates open- the land within smells of earth, grass, and life. As they explore in the blinding light, they come across a tree of golden apples. Picking one, they take a bite. It tastes of apples and figs and peaches and every fruit that has ever or never grown. It tastes of life. It tastes of ancient air never breathed by men. It tastes of the Garden. Heals an extreme amount and gives the targeted entity strong regeneration for three turns.
ACTUAL ACTIONS:
Storm will use Storm-Threnody on Cyberdwarf, while Stone will use Gates of the Garden on doggy.
Suddenly, a portal in cyberspace opens up, and a bunch of SWAT teams rush in! They somehow managed to trace the murder of WeegeeWeArrr in real life to UserZero's linked bullets in-game, and are hoping to gather enough evidence to get an arrest warrant. Don't ask me how, I don't even listen to the technobabble they use in their department.
CSI Cyber Portal [N]: 50000/50000 HP. Spawns 1 SWAT team per round.
CSI Cyber Investigation Team [N]: 25000/25000 HP. Arrest Warrant: [IIIIIIIIII] (charges 1d3-1 charge points per round)
SWAT Team x3 [N]: 20000/20000 HP. Defends CSI Cyber Investigation Team and CSI Cyber Portal.
Yes, that is a lot of HP. However, this is balanced by several things, chief among them the fact that they have no default attack. The SWAT teams are only here to guard the investigators as they dig up evidence. The SWAT teams due have a weak counterattack that they use when attacked, but this group has VERY low attack capability. However, it can charge up an Arrest Warrant charge. If the Investigators stay alive for enough rounds to gather evidence, they are able to gather enough evidence to send out an Arrest Warrant to arrest UserZero on charges of murdering WeegeeWeArrr. This sends UserZero and Richard into a Cyber Courtroom to go to trial. Both sides have 5 rounds to get the case to go their way, and a successful case against UserZero causes severe damage to her as the punishment for her crimes. (but NOT automatic damage by a long shot). Also, they are not controlled by me or any other player, at least not directly.
Meanwhile, on the Court, I notice the truly brutal amount of violence making a mockery of the sport! To deal with it, I summon a Referee to enforce the rules and eject the rulebreakers that brawl all over the Court.
Referee [N]: 50000/50000 HP (enforces rules on the Court).
The Referee's main power is that he can eject entities that engage in attacks against entities on the Court (for this purpose, Barkley and his buddies count as being on the Court). After an entity makes an action on the Court that damages another entity (nondamaging attacks he does not care about, because he is having enough trouble enforcing the personal foul rules as is), it is ejected from the Court (entities have a 65% chance to still pull off their attack before being ejected) and cannot do any other actions on it for the rest of that EOTB. If an entity kills another entity on the Court, the attacking entity stays ejected from the court for next round's EOTB as well. If an entity kills the Referee, he uses his last breath to cast the Curse Of Indefinite Suspension on whatever killed him, banishing it until the end of the game (aka when Barkley is defeated). Note that if he does it on Barkley (not like Barkley, a basketball player, would purposely break the rules and kill the ref), Contractual Boss Immunity sends it to a random one of his buddies, who gets ejected instead.
"Well, this ought to be interesting. At least I didn't summon Shaq from Shaq Fu."
Also, the damaged basketball court is just completing the reference, in that Mario Strikers Charged fields take explosions, freezing, burning, lightning strikes, Thwomp hits, and other incidents, take visible damage, then have that damage fade away leaving a pristine field.
/null until the update is done.
Also guys, the FATE is:
Seriously guys, he's still in the middle of updating, plus I'd be a moron to actually reveal this.
Hey, at least I didn't Rick Roll you.
As the B-Ball court is emptied, I smile.
"Time to change fate!"
I deny FATE and will not summon Michael Jordon. Or Jordan, for that matter. Tazz, have you turned off the red squiggles that signify misspelled words?
31/50 Dark Bowser
+2 Irecreeper
Attack 2: Finally, a reference to a webcomic OTHER than Homestuck
I take Cyberdwarf. If I have learned anything from Team Fortress 2, or my extensive RPG playing, it's that you always go for the White Mage. Speaking of going for the White mage, I take this guy for a spin:
This guy is Black Mage. Everyone, say hi. Or he'll kill you. Though to be fair, he might kill you anyways.
The other big part of his personality is his absolute love for White Mage. The fact that this...thing...is a White Mage disgusts him. He's not a redhead, more of an orangehead.
He decides to deal this the only way he knows how: stabbing Cyberdwarf in the back unprovoked. His practice, also known as trying to get through the armor of Fighter, allows it to go right through Cyberdwarf's basketball skin.
However, this does not lead to the desired result: a dead Cyberdwarf. He follows this up with a large Level 9 spell, which fires a massive laser into Cyberdwarf. I dismiss Black Mage following this, because I don't wish to unleash a murderous psychopath upon the game.
Following him is the aforementioned Fighter, who wields his swordchucks (don't ask) like a pro. While Cyberdwarf is busy wondering what the heck Swordchucks are, Fighter slices him into tiny pieces. He then talks to Cyberdwarf. Just conversing with Fighter temporarily drops Cyberdwarf's IQ; it's like that stupidity causing paper I stuffed into the AI. I take him away, too: conversing with Fighter counts as cruel and unusual punishment in my book.
Next up is Red Mage, who min/maxes to the extreme, giving him godlike stats, but making him absolutely a pain to be around. Red Mage then hits Cyberdwarf with a large number of spells, as well as one of his, "Too Dumb to Fail" plans. Of course, it succeeds. I stuff Red Mage back into the portal, because I can only deal with him in Webcomic form.
The final member of the 4 is Thief, who steals everything Cyberdwarf owns. And everything Cyberdwarf is wearing. Cyberdwarf takes embarrassment damage!
I desummon Thief before he tries to take anything from our side.
During this time, White Mage is healing random AZs, though I desummon her as well before any death can occur. Considering how badly she dealt with Black Belt's death, I deem that course of action wise.
Note to self before messing with space-time again: Magic has very well-defined rules. And those rules are never the same.
4/6 Attacks remaining
20,000 damage to Cyberdwarf! +10,000 HP/20% Inflation to the Lesser Balloon Whelp!
Before you take your break at Grillby's despite not really having left, you bother to read the message Sans left you. It is quite clearly from Sans, after all, as that is clearly his Whoope cushion.
Now, clearly you're not exactly a bright guy, but I know you mean well. Unfortuantely, I'm still kind of trapped in the underground right now, and sadly my abilities don't allow for me to breach the hole. Though, I guess one of you guys summoning me would do that for me? Not like I would want to. War is...I don't like War, and in this case I don't feel its right to fight for any side here, as they're both jerks in the end who can't feel for anything other than themselves. In any case, any communication we will share will be done through proxy until I'm free...But I can't bring myself to care beyond a chat right now, I'm sorry. The War...It's not for me.
Sorodin> You fool! Gods are gods for a reason. Gods are IMMORTAL!
Charles Barkley starts frantically looking all around, waiting for something to happen.
Suddenly, a tear opens up in the sky. Like, a dimensional tear. Charles Barkley, Balthios James, Cyberdwarf, and Hoopz Barkey all look up into it in awe, seeing the heavens above. A deep, booming voice comes from within.
???> Did you like your one glimpse of the heavens, Charles? I'm afraid it's the only one you're ever going to take. Charles Barkley> Y-y-yes.... sir.
???> You could have had it all, Charles. The power, the influence, the immortality! But alas, you are only mortal.
A giant foot starts coming down the hole, followed by a giant leg, followed by a giant body! WATCH OUT GUYS, HE'S COMING DOWN....
...
...
...
???> Wait, brother. You are not charged. The OP Scale would nerf you down to size. You would be able to be killed.... for good. Plus...... ....my child is only doing what he feels is right, what he loves to do. Leave him be.
???> But brother, he killed my diciples! At least let me punish him a little bit!
???> Very well.
A giant soccer ball slowly comes through the tear, and lands right on Charles, Hoopz, Balthios, and Cyberdwarf, dealing huge damage! Also, Topazian21's Hate of Formatting has been summoned! Also, sorry if this attack seems.... lackluster. I had to cut alot out due to time contraints. WHY FIREFOX WHY YOU CRASH?
Topazian21's Hate of Formatting HP:15k Atk:15k Special: Passives: Undying Rage: Will always attack the latest target of my attacks where I use color or bolding. Hate makes you Stronger: Every time I use color or bolding in an attack, it's stats are raised by 2k. Non-Passives: 2muchformatting4me Will over-format a random PZ or GS post, making it unreadable and therefore null.
Feel free to buff/nerf this. I suck at balancing. xD Topazian21's Hate of Formatting will defend itself this turn.
=Alchemies=
Super Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad && Unfair Mario = Super Unfair Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad 4/4 [Done!]
Super Unfair Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad && Mario 64 = Super Unfair Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad 64 1/???
Logic Distortion Remote - currently projecting Super Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad
Bowser Amiibo - consumed making Bowser Amiibo Mushroom
Hylian Beam Shield
Infinite Pie Cornucopia
Super Paper Mario Maker Sketchpad
Voidmetal Bottle
==Charges==
24/25 Thunderstorm
24/25 Crystals of Al'tuine (+1 from Talist)
+2 to Talist
The slams were so awesome the Soccer gods decided to stay dead.
I really don't want to measure that, so the passives are gone. However, UserZero sees an opportunity for more firepower and quickly conditions it for the PZ team! The Hate of Formatting has been summoned!
"Uh, memia, im pretty sure UserZero would sooner be flayed
than let you get away. Or leave for that matter. If you bothered to
read the chatlog, you'd know that Shes gonna kill us all anyway. Now, if
you excuse me, i have to annoy something."
Loose Cannon && Haunted Demoman Soul && Eyelanders Soul = ??? 1/?
i toss all of Greek Mythology at Charles Barkley, then quickly figure out the situation
Reach 4500 from big tree ---> boss and co. summoned due to that ----> Bosses are summoned by milestones of 500/1000 ----> UserZero activates "i am a massive coward" mode at those points and hides behind a barrier like a n00b, which is ironic, since she thinks we are all n00bs (See: results of my first post) ---> this is either going to take forever or be a rolfstomp
"Hey, UserZero, i though you said we were all n00bs! Wonder who's hiding behind a barrier, huh?"
A somewhat useful summon: 15/15
Uncreativity Monster summoned!
25000/17500HP
Gains more damage and power based on (about 1000 hp) a uncreative attack. Creative attacks on it do less damage until it breaks 30000, at which point they crit unless. Uncreative attacks upon it heal it. Its overheal decays 2500 per power increase, and starts off with low damage.
No random crits until breaks the 30000 HP roof (this makes it balanced, because valve logic)
it also makes uncreative attacks do more damage based on its power. (Do i need to increase the number of charges this takes (And is that the OP scale behind me?) , or is it fine?)
Max HP is 45000, unless 10 uncreative attacks in a row occur, in which case it raises to 55000, and vice versa for any further hp limit raises.
Revenge of the Unhelped, The Lonely, the Unloved, The Abused, The Beggar. The Sad, The Slain, The Hated, The Unjustly Feared, The Falsely Accused, The Abandoned and the Lost: 5/50
A sad piece of music begins to play in the backaround
"So many years,
so many dark memories...."
2+ to anyone who didnt get a + from anyone this round.
if its me, +pity to me.
Wait a second, i made a long post?
Preposterous! I do not make long posts!
Funfact: this took like 8 edits to make. Funny, considering the fact that my orginal post was charges and a one-sentence action.
After making the post, i walk up to Tazz and thank him, and everyone at the TvTropes edition for introducing this wonderful game and equally-wonderful community on this minecraft forums to me. I then thank everyone else for making this possible.
Also, do whatever you want with the update system. You know we will all support your decision if you have to make certain choices. Don't let this game get in the way of your life.
Been editing this for an hour. Gee, what a active life i have.
Update: And now its so large it fills my 1920x1800 screen.
Loose Cannon && Haunted Demoman Soul && Eyelanders Soul = Make the Whole World Blind (Level 7: 1/8)
Uncreativity Monster summoned! That HP is getting buffed big-time, as that's far too low for a summon of that level of charge.
For reference, any attack that does less than 3,000 damage is 'uncreative.'
UserZero: yes, because i'd rather be suicidal.
UserZero: you n00b!
UserZero: no-one's beaten barkley, and he's just the first gatekeeper!
UserZero: the op scale enforces the sorting algorithm of eviltm, but it says something about how effective your defense is when the supposed 'warm up' is literally where everyone else died!
UserZero: but yeah, of course, i'd waste that just by stepping out of my safe barrier...
UserZero: ...dude, i'm trying to kill you.
UserZero: am i gonna open myself up to being killed by you?
UserZero: does having a basic sense of self-preservation seem like n00bishness to you?
UserZero: just because you're all n00bs doesn't mean you can still hurt me, but really, everyone thinks that's some kind of accomplishment or something, like i can't heal, ever.
UserZero: sadly, that only applies in-combat.
UserZero: if anything, you coming on here in the first place was a massive act of n00bishness!
UserZero: after all, if there's one mark of a n00b is, it's suicidal overconfidence, charging into everything guns blazing without knowing anything about the situation!
UserZero: when you have a 100% winrate, that's NOT n00bishness, that's not suicidal overconfidnece, that's FACT.
UserZero: i'm not going to be killed because of your dumb ideals of chivalry!
UserZero: i don't really enjoy fighting, you n00b!
UserZero: what i REALLY enjoy, is watching people like you n00bs [gorilla]ING DYING!
Potato kick-stater salad(a potato made of salad kick-starter.)12/25(or 16 if the helping effect works)
The damaged blasting pages && Damaged Transmutation field alternator 3/6
Damaged Warp Zone(also thanks to the curse of repetitiveness the power is
further reduced)
my items
The Reinforcement level 1
Damaged The blasting pages level -1
Damaged Transmutation field alternator level -1
Book of support level 2
After that I start making buildings swirl around surrounding everything with supermarkets and HLM(with the use of The Reinforcement)
Unfortunately, nothing on field really has a supermarket and/or HLM. That, or understanding of your post flew over me, again, in which case I'm terribly sorry.
i hit Charles Barkley with a Sharpened Volcano Fragment, and then proceed to summon a horde of Sun-On-a-Stick Scoots and Postal Pummeler Pryos to smash him to piece's whilst a horde of Backburner Pryo's keep him on fire.
i repeatedly mumble words while holding the Spellbook, and it turns out it was a spell for a Rain O Meteors, all of which happen to have been buff'ed with "crits on flaming enemys".
Suddenly, i summon another horde, this time with sollys with the Buff Banner and Conch, making the damage even more absurd.
i also toss Charles Barkley into a star, which happens to be so large its not going supernova, its going hypernova! I afterwards call the Fire department, which just happens to be more pryo's, expect they are wearing the Tricksters Turnout Jacket, and the water they spray on him is in fact flamer fuel.
i continue my chain of flaming cast Mystic Inferno, setting everyone near Charles Barkley on fire, which just happens to only set Non-Charles Barkley people for a few seconds. i follow that up by summon the 12-year olds of the Fnaf Fandom, set them on fire, and let them stampede Charles Barkley. i finish all this off by making it rain Scorch Shot and Flare Gun shots upon both the FNAF Fandom and Charles Barkley. i then ithen him, causing him to scream at my overusage of "i then" because i cannot word my actions anyway else, causing a brief fit of insanity, as he saw the verision with all the i thens, and when everyone denies having seen such a version, it drives him even crazyizer.
Might make above charge attack.
The uncreativty monster is uncreative and punchs something creative.
Revenge of the Unhelped, The Lonely, the Unloved, The Abused, The
Beggar. The Sad, The Slain, The Hated, The Unjustly Feared, The Falsely
Accused, The Abandoned and the Lost: 6/50
The sad music continues to play...
Restoration of the Factory of The Bots, and the Machine maker's ambition 1/20
2+ to anyone who didnt get a + from anyone this round.
As in, collect your two points at the end of the round. Please try not to do it if it is not the end even if you have not gotten any points yet. But im just being restricting, so go crazy for all i care.
Mate, I've said this several times now: YOU MUST. NAME. WHO YOU'RE GIVING CHARGES TO. Setting goals and conditions is not kosher, just throwing +2 out there isn't kosher, WE NEED NAMES! Until you target specific people with your +2s, I may start nulling your attacks, IE right now. You are free to repeat them when you start +2ing people right. Please, and thank you.
I summon some deku babas around the soul of the core. Always growing back, one of them lands a hit before it is killed. I call up some more deku gardeners who use bombs to attack the soul of the cores' heads. I join them with punching up the body in goron form which is made to withstand heat and can easily break rocks. The gardeners go back.
I don't think the Goron form is ready for lava, or any of those plants for that matter. Stupid lack of ignorance to convection!
I dig up my Solar Flower in a hurry and point it in front of me. My hammerspace opens up, unloading a torrent of water on the court. I open fire, shocking everyone who is not AZ. (If it is like the fire flower in Smash it should not be capable to hurt a teammate under any circumstance).
Drakonite (Level 2: 3/3) Finished!
Diamond Murder Knife (Level 3: 3/4) Heheheh, just need 2 more ingots.
Crimtane II Blood II Diamond = Crimsony Blood Gem 1/???
+2 to Ire
Sukard 3/50 (+1 from Richard, don't die out there, buddy.)
Arina Azuma 3/5
Senor Banana gives Charles Barkley a Fatten Up Taco.
Lord Calzreb lets off his insanity on the Cyberdwarf.
Neo Ultima cuts down one of the Ender Crystals.
I attack the nest.
Drakonite: Bluh, you probably know better than me. I have no idea how to describe this for once.
Crimtane II Blood II Diamond = Crimsony Blood Gem (Level 2: 1/3)
Your entities will do as you say, though I expect a high chance of failure on the Fatten Up Taco.
HP: 1,000,000,000/1,000,000,000. Come at me bro. I've got a billion hp.
Inflation: 100%. Airborn while above 100% inflation. Dies at either 0% or 200% inflation.
Same as before. Whenever it takes damage, reduce inflation by damage taken / 2,000. That's assuming a 30 post entity has about 200,000 HP normally.
Breath of Life: Can be used every other turn. Restores 15,000 HP OR 20% inflation. Cannot self target. Costs 5% inflation.
Law of the Clown Car: kills a Lesser Balloon Whelp and gives the Drake inflation equal to the Whelp's inflation/3
And now, we need to make it a little more complicated.
Spawns in with 3 balloon-omancy eggs, each with their own HP bar. They start with 15,000/30,000 HP. If an egg reaches 30,000 HP (The Balloon Whelp has something that might help with that...), it hatches into a lesser balloon whelp.
Lesser Balloon Whelp:
Inflation: 100%. Takes damage/500 to inflation when hit. Deals low damage.
Commands:
I have the Lesser Balloon Whelp keep guarding the hoop. The Balloon Drake uses breath of life to reinflate the lesser balloon whelp somewhat.
Action:
Inari bounces along the floor and skids to a stop before rising up again. After pausing for a few moments, she slowly walks up to Cyberdwarf, seeming to do nothing. But once she gets close, she fires off a scatterburst of light beams like a shotgun blast to deal damage.
(Purified Silver && Holy Water && Essence of Light) || GreatSword = TrueSilver Champion 4/6
Got +5 total.
The first companion: 47/50
Another Charge: 22/30
+1 to Topazian & Pricey
Duotine Gas Generator: An infinite supply of Duotine. Aka, an infinite supply of Hallucinogens. Use this to make anyone get high pretty much instantly and see the world as what it oh most definitely isn't. It's not high-level for it's combat versatility so much as it's crippling effect, as people that high aren't great at aiming.
Next Charge: On hold until a winner of the Mibibli/Crocidibli fight is settled.
Finish the Avenger's Orbitars at 3/3
Once again, I'll say that the only way to make real progress on that fight is to get each one on a side (unless you want Crocidibli to win without anything happening, where you get a roughly 20,000 HP Neutral on you guys, which wouldn't help anyone). It shouldn't be hard to convince them.
Also, on the subject on the hammer, while Mibibli does indeed always attempt to fight Crocidibli, Mibibli can target other entities as... (okay, i don't even know this thing's gender) they see fit, with more convincing.
Now to go start the blueprint on the second entity. I feel that this will get much more dangerous.
UserZero drags Mibibli over to her side and whispers a few things. Two minutes later, Mibibli has joined the Pro-Zero faction! Crocidibli realizes there's two factions that oppose the PZ faction, flips a coin, and joins the GS faction to fight Mibibli!
Anvil On Stick With Pottery Shards Attached && Anti-Roleplay Essence 2/??
+2 Bomber
I have no interest in basketball, so I scatter caltrops everywhere under the hoop, causing Charles Barkley to take damage if he scores a dunk, and also possibly popping some basketballs.CAT COOKIE CLICKER (because let's face it the Impossible Quiz is way too... what it is for the MCF) "You feel like making cookies. But nobody wants to eat your cookies." That I do! And what better material than the Cookie Slime Blob? I tear a few chunks out of it, and bake them till they're nice and delicious. I then keep this up until I've made 5 cookies.
"Your first batch goes in the trash. The neighborhood raccoon barely touches it." ...I guess a slime isn't really the best thing to make cookies out of. Let's try that again. I put some actual cookie dough together, and make some simple sugar cookies. It looks like doggy likes them. I keep baking cookies until I can afford a cursor, then keep buying cursors until I hit 50 cookies.
"Your family accepts to try some of your cookies." Woo! Encouraged by this, I get even more cursors. I bake cookies alongside the cursors for a good while, hitting 100 cookies.
"Your cookies are popular in the neighborhood." Well, since I'm so popular, I hire some SJWs to bake cookies with me. The SJWs are actually pretty good at it. Who would've known? We keep baking cookies until we've somehow amassed 500 cookies. I plant a cookie farm.
"People are starting to talk about your cookies." Oh good! I open a cookie shop. Don't ask how I got these cookies. Just. Don't. Business is going well, so I keep storing cookies in our secret cookie vault.
"Your cookies are talked about for miles around." Woo, more customers! I get a few more farms to increase productivity, then keep going until I hit 3,000 cookies.
"Your cookies are renowned in the whole town!" Wait. There was a town here??? Huh. Anyways, I build a cookie factory to make even more cookies. More factories, more SJWs, more farms, more cursors. With doggy eating... a lot of our profits. About 20%. I can deal with it though, there's all the time in the world. Plus he's healing off of them.
"Your cookies bring all the boys to the town."
That may be true, but right now the Cookie Slime Blob is trying to get a riot going and I've got to break the strike the SJWs are going on. ...Is that PETA? Oh for crying out loud PETA. Wait, it's not even that bad yet, this is the past. Right. SLIMES AREN'T ANIMALS PETA STOP COMPLAINING. I keep making cookies.
"Your cookies now have their own website!" Oh hey, that's nice. Anyways, I don't really feel like making any more cookies, so I stuff all 10,000+ cookies in my cookie vault into a cookie-to-HP conversion machine, healing doggy.
4,000 damage to the Cookie Slime Blob! +8,000 HP to doggy, as this was mostly a post about healing him.
1 Demon Blood Shard 1 Raspberry Pi 1 of any book 1 Empty Taglocks 1 Richard Taglock 1 Popcorn Bane of Lapis Ender Matrix Journal #-1 Black Hole in a Jar Tome of Knowledge Unwritten 18 Bedrock^2 Ingots Ultracondensed Wall
Richard nods silently. You've got work to do.
The Combustible Lemons incinerate without combusting. Well that was a letdown.
lligraphy, and then look back to the Cyberdwarf, after noting the thumping. This thing is rather tough.
DEHLZK KHT APKAYRTK'J CNJJQPPLV MRZT DFGN WTJXR IH VTGRSPIJ.
I pull out a pen dripping heavily with an absurd amount of liquid ink. Gripping the thing carefully, I flash-step approximately thirty or so meters away from the Cyberdwarf's position, preparing for some offensive act or other.
I turn around several seconds later (traveling with flash-stepping or some derivation thereof is remarkably fruitful), and raise the pen into the air, seemingly inscribing a number of symbols into empty space. Nothing in particular seems to occur, and it is almost as if I were just attempting to plan for a far greater type of assault.
Of course, that is exactly the case, and if you thought otherwise, you certainly know nothing of my standardized post length. I spin the pen around several times in my hand, before appraising its quality. It appears to be a pure black pen held together with small rings of unadulterated silver, with the sign utilized to signify Squid Pro Quo ink emblazoned on the side. The squid's eyes on the logo seem to have a sinister air to them.
I raise the pen, once more, forming the symbols I had just inscribed into the air ineffectually once more, with far more care and precision. This time, there is quite a difference in outcome. Ink drips from the pen, and seems to splatter in midair, each blot forming a variety of strange and portentous symbols.
The symbols, upon being finished, float in the air, occasionally bobbing. They appear to be ancient symbols of the Aklo distinction, markings utilized by uncaring elder gods in their dominion over a plethora of strange planets. However, these gods were not the ones described by the author of strange fiction whose horror skills and racism were renown worldwide. These are the dark gods of some other era, of some other sort.
And perhaps they have greater power.
The symbols levitating in the air before me are quite intelligible, yet incomprehensible, primarily in the fact that there are essentially two people on the server who understand the language, one of which is me. If that other person were to look in my direction, and examine the symbols, they would know that they meant, in truth, one thing.
The second sentence is quite the claim, isn't it. Hah.
Pitch black ink oozes from the slightly blotted symbols like liquid void, splashing onto the floor. The ground beneath me is stained indelibly, a sort of corruption inflicting the pure dirt. The box and key in my inventory seem to grow rather heavy. Hmm. The tip of the pen is still dripping ink, this time onto my hand. With my other hand I grab the small box, and pull out the key. I slide the pen in between my fingers on one hand, and grab the key, putting it in the box's lock, and turning it thrice, before uttering a muttered word directly upon it.
I open the small box a sliver, and everything seems to shift in nature. The shrunken ribs of Octothorpe within, provided by the Scribe, as per our arrangement, seem to have a profound effect on the inky marks floating in thin air. The ink stains on the ground begin to creep toward the Cyberdwarf, accelerating at a pace of around 1.5 meters per second, though each advancement is irregular in nature. I close the box once more the moment black ink begins to drip from out of the slightly elevated space between the box's top and bottom halves, and place it, as well as the key, in my alchemical bag, which I have just procured. Perhaps I should work on improving storage space in the future.
The ink, having traversed around thirty meters to the Cyberdwarf's position, creeps around it, and below it, forming a blotted wet stain beneath the Cyberdwarf. Strings of a repeated phrase composed of liquid ink runes crawl up the Cyberdwarf's legs (or leg-analogues), and soon cover its entire body. These runes, if one were to decipher them, would be rather threatening, given their meaning.
Ukhyoiikhu nog. Glaaki g'rrrth-naa.
The continuous phrase continues to repeat itself in runic form over the Cyberdwarf's body, overlapping other runes and such to attempt to fully cover it in ink. The Cyberdwarf's eyes roll into the back of his head, ink crawling over them moments later. If he were looking, the Cyberdwarf would have noticed five symbols rise up from the wet ink beneath and around him, to form one word.
Zhro.
Nothing transpires, for a brief, tense moment. The Cyberdwarf's ink-blurry eyes roll back into place, and he sees nothing has changed. The ink beneath him seems to be inching outwards, but this is to be expected, given its method of access to his position in the first place.
He does not expect it when the ink edging outwards suddenly arcs upward, forming the maw of some ancient horror around him. Iä! Iä! Dahgaitlah fhtagn. This maw in fact appears to be an actual inky maw of some creature. The Cyberdwarf blinks once, and is suddenly consumed as the ink around him bursts upwards, forming a squidlike beak, which he is promptly caught up in.
The beak opens up a mere crack, and blood dribbles out, splattering against the ground. The beak opens fully, a gaping maw into the depths of the Inky Abyss, and screeches. The scream can be heard serverwide, piercing the eardrums of all without fail, including the deaf, and those with sound turned off. The screech inflicts abject horror in the minds of all, without fail. Those nearest, a category from which I am thankfully exempt, suffer from the rupturing of their eardrums. The beak plunges downward, and disappears beneath the ground, leaving a massive puddle of ink around the Cyberdwarf, who is still alive, surprisingly, though his body has been mangled by direct exposure to the Void. The spaces where the ink stains originally were present are pure monochrome gray, corrupted eternally. I slip the pen in my hand into my alchemical bag, and watch as the small ink floods around the Cyberdwarf slowly subside.
Crow Feather Quill && Vial of Ink && Lesser Sigil of Creation = Calligraphy (6/6!)
HOW DARE THE PZ's ATTACK ME! THIS CALLS FOR RETALIATION!
I command The Spirit of Motherwill to fire the 3 long range cannons on Cyberdwarf and if i count correctly that 90,000 damage.
I also command it to fire the short ranged cannons at Cyberdwarf as well as start producing drones.
I call for the squads to stop searching for now and put their engineering skills they learned at SigmaModding Academy to good use and repair the Spirit of Motherwill.
I decide to use the Chaos Control and lets see if he can play hardball.
I use chaos control to instantly teleport the ball millions of times per nano second while simultaneously summoning 1 million identical balls to confuse him and the identical balls all all hydrogen nukes.
And they are all exploding ... on his face and by face i mean in his stomach.
That might undergo nerfing, but your entities will try to do as you say! Granted, you're not entirely sure if you did teach these guys repairing...Plus, technically it was an AZ experimenting with the hoop that did that damage.f
Barkley quickly picks out the right Basketball, and all the others explode around him harmlessly, knocking you back. It seems the power of B-Ball cannot be so easily fooled.
A Tactical Genius: 7/50 ==================================================
+2 to Crystal
Unfortunately, the Cyberdwarf has ended up surviving the round, and the King Bob-omb unharmed due to being defended by a guy with abnormally heavy fists. Things really didn't turn out quite as planned, but formulating a new one tended to be an enjoyable activity. This time, Bomber had an idea that could have unpredictable results.
Using his Empowered Gargoyle Staff, he twirled it in his hands in a large circle in front of him. A blue outline was swept through the air, which soon became a portal in front of him. Giventhat he had no destination in mind, the portal led to somewhere entirely random. What was about to emerge from the portal could be literally anyone, or anything. Bomber took several steps back, ready to assert his dominion over what horrible creature or foolish man dare step through.
All that came tumbling out was a little, insignificant walnut. The portal closed behind it's anticlimactic entry, leaving it resting in the slimy creep. Bomber slowly walked over and picked it up, wiping some of the muck off with a finger. "A.... walnut. I open a portal to literally anywhere, and all I get. Is. A WALNUT!?" He raised his voice, quite angry with the result. In reaction to the appearance of the entirely insignificant walnut, he hurls it as hard as he can at the Cyberdwarf. It flies at a bullet-like speed.
Of course, the Cyberdwarf is able to catch the walnut with his B-ball skills, and he simply takes a moment to examine it. It was then that the effects of the strange walnut took action. Examining the walnut, Cyberdwarf began to think about the state of his existence. This simple little walnut has got it all figured out. It is simply flawless, really. Its shell was perfectly smooth, abnormal for a walnut. Indeed, it had an odd sense of perfection to it. But what of he, the Cyberdwarf? He has fulfilled his purpose in life by aiding Charles Barkley in his quest, but what is he doing now? The walnut made him feel insignificant, alone, and imperfect. The revelation cracks his mind, sending him into a brief depressive spiral. The walnut continues having a more adverse effect, telling him that pain is the only answer. The Cyberdwarf would suddenly find a knife from an unknown source in his hand. While he may have second thoughts on this, his arms were moving automatically. He began to stab himself repeatedly, wishing for an ending to the horrible revelation. He wishes he had never gazed upon this walnut! The Cyberdwarf causes terrible self-harm damage to himself, and when he is finally able to stop himself he finds that both the knife and the walnut are nowhere to be found.
Bomber had seen the whole thing, and was utterly baffled. "Just what in the world did I just witness?" Sick curiosity tugged at his mind, and he decided to search The Book of Tzeentch for answers. The book held more pages than it would seem, and after a moment of searching he found it.
The Rhadamanthine Walnut. This strange object poses as a slightly abnormal walnut, having a smooth shell rather than a lumpy one. It is said to have a horrible effect on the mind for those who observe it for too long. Its immaculate qualities causes an overwhelming sense of insignificance, leading to depression and self-harming tendencies. The walnut seems to even usher people on to self-harm, and may find a knife in their hand even if there was no knives near them before.
Bomber simply closed the book after reading a fraction of the entry. There were a few things that even he found a little outlandish. This would be one of them.
The Bolt of Change had finished charging, much to the delight of the group of Horrors. A large globe formed above the crowd, which appeared to be an ever-changing fleshy mass that radiated a spectrum of colors. The projectile flew towards the Cyberdwarf like a firework, leaving behind a strangely beautiful trail of arcane sparks and wisps. The Bolt of Change slammed into the Cyberdwarf, causing immense pain. He would find himself painfully warping, twisting in impossible ways. His skin would bubble and start to drip, and his right arm would grow a second hand. Not long after, the hand would snap off and crawl away before decaying into a pile of goo. The crowd of Horrors cackled with glee at the sight, finding all the shapes and forms he shifted into entertaining. The effects would wear off after a short while.
doggy continues firing his laser at the Cyberdwarf, wanting that sweet, sweet laser charge damage.
Energy Booster && Vitality Booster && Point Booster = Soul Booster (Level 5: 3/6)
Cyberdwarf's mission in life is technically to aid Hoopz, not Barkley-Barkley's just much stronger right now and is the unofficial ringleader out of serious experience. Regardless, that was amazing. 25,000 damage to Cyberdwarf!
+2 Irecreeper, for a total of +4 from me this turn
"You know, Charles Barkley, I find you are similar to Babe Ruth: you were good at a sport, but could have been so much better if you hadn't eaten so much junk food."
Attack 3: Reality Ensues/First World Problems
The McDonalds Corporation enters the Battle! They drown Charles Barkley in all the fast food he can eat, times 68 million. Then, they dump coffee heated to unreasonable temperatures on him. He tries to sue them, but they show the coffee cup's warning that makes them lose all financial responsibility: 'Warning: Coffee is hot'. They then reveal that all the burgers he ate are made of a low quality cut of meat known as Pink Slime.
Hearing this, Charles Barkley throws up all the food he ate.
So, he decides to go to a bar. They give him a large amount of alcohol, making him drunk. Very drunk, considering the lack of food in his stomach. He staggers off the court and tries to hit on The Captain. Failing that, he tries to hit on the Elite Swordsmaster. Failing that as well, he tries to hit on...wait, why is he trying to hit on the Enderdragon? The Balloon Drake? THE ZERG?
After recovering from his massive hangover, the sheer amount of mind bleach forgetting this incident requires puts Charles Barkley into a month-long coma. He is forced to pay exorbitant hospital bills outside his ability to pay with pocket change. He tries to withdraw money from banking accounts, but "Sorry Charlie, your bank account is in another dimension". Charles Barkley stumbles back onto the court, literally indebted to me since I gave him money to pay for his hospital stay.
I take advantage of this debt by taking it back in the form of his HP.
3/6 Attacks Remaining
Now that I think about it, Mega Mushrooms are one of the most useful alchemies I could have possibly created.
Barkley lives in the post-Cyberpocalypse! He manages to eat it all with glee, healing for 20,000 HP and not suffering any side effects!
...You know what, I saw your post. 20,000 damage to Cyberdwarf (because of reasons related to updop issues last time)! Wizard of Yendor summoned! I THINK it's those large symbols destroying the formatting of those posts, reducing it all to this. But I don't even know.
(1 / 20) R e m e m b e r m e , s o I m a y l i v e o n .
(5 / 10) Divine Barrier (+4 total, from Hezetor, FBSN)
+1 to FBSN
+1 to Hezetor
=Action=
I quickly summon the Page-Holding Duct-Tape! It proceeds to fly to the Lesser Balloon Whelp and patches up all the holes in in, removing the Leaking status effect. This also fully restores it's HP but that doesn't really matter.
=Command=
Valeera gains +1 Mana, and proceeds to draw a card! (Shouldn't she gain mana at the start of every turn, rather than the end of every turn?)
CARD DRAWN: (x1) Deadly Poison
Valeera proceeds to expend 2 Mana to throw down a Goblin Auto Barber.
00C: My current motives are to destroy UserZero, destroy The Shadow, and prevent Rick from ascending to 0mega+. I have no grudge against godmodders who do not side with Rick or Uzi. They can't all be PUURE EEVIL, can they? I think that I and my entities will remain Neutral, but I am still going to help the Antigodmodders/Gotterstöters/Godmoddararseltuggare.
Heavy Fists Guy healed for + 5,000 HP, but Poisoned!
The bandaids burn up. Shame to be made entirely of lava...
Medigun && Clentaminator = Biogun (Level 1: 1/2)
Life Fruit && SCP-1615 = Blessing of Gaia (Level 21: 1/22)
OK, I think that the Life Fruit is just way too strong of an Alchemiter ingredient.
Alpha Phantom: 5/5 (+2 from UserZero, +2 from Fseftr)
+2 to Fseftr
Walker directs the quickly summoned Alpha Phantom to attack the Most Beautiful Thing In The World. The Alpha Phantom clearly has issues with this, but... well, Walker's in charge of it. Orders are orders.
The Alpha Phantom can't! It just can't harm it! It's way beyond the ability to harm it! It's literally so beautiful that it's also somehow immune to single-target attacks!
MoYu PoLong: A 3x3 Rubik's cube made of glow-in-the-dark material. The white center piece has the Chinese character 钋 on it, and the yellow center piece has a radioactivity symbol on it. It has the power to manipulate the chemical element polonium.
Wand of Striking && Wand of Fire = ??? (3/?)
Charges
Project M06-Internationalization (20/50)
Project M07-The Phonetician (1/50)
+2 to tc2142
Action
I pull out a Roflcopter Launcher. The Roflcopter Launcher launches roflcopters laced with explosives. I proceed to launch roflcopters at Balthios, which all divebomb him.
I look back to the Cyberdwarf. Enjoy that massive exposition? Don't worry, that wasn't even half of what I have so far.
Well, time to breed a horrendous eldritch chicken.
I just sort of… place a chair down, right in front of the Cyberdwarf. I dig a single-block, two meter-deep hole into the ground, fill the bottom with netherrack, and ignite it with a flint and steel. Then, I place a Crucible directly above the fire itself, pouring a bucket of water into the thing. I sit down in the chair, crossing my legs, and looking over to the Cyberdwarf of the other side of the Crucible full of slowly boiling water.
TA: Ygg g'ah?
TA: You… don't speak Aklo, do you. Of course. That's just ruined the mood.
The water suddenly begins to boil, bubbling. I stand, and peer into the thing. Excellent. I toss two blocks of netherrack into the water. They both dissolve almost instantly, and the water grows purple and murky with unfiltered essentia. I slowly pull out what appears to be a piece of raw beef, and drop it into the Crucible as well. It dissolves as well. Then, I take out an egg, and prepare to create an Incubated Egg. Yeah, while this may be an ingenious method to creating chickens, this isn't exactly what I want. As such, I drop a single voidmetal nugget into the frothing purple water as well, before adding the egg. Orchid sparks fly from the cauldron, and I pull an egg with strange spiraling dark indigo patterns upon the shell from the water.
Then, I carefully extract the Crucible from its position with a voidmetal pick, and replace it with a small plate of carbon directly above the flame. I place the egg atop this, and lean back in my chair. I pull two sticks from my inventory, attach marshmallows to the top of both, and hand one to the Cyberdwarf. May as well. I place another chair down opposite the fire, and gesture for the Cyberdwarf to sit.
We just roast our marshmallows for around five minutes. Then, moments after consuming them, the first cracks begin to spiral across the surface of the egg. These things grow incredibly fast. I toss my roasting stick to the side, and stand, wiping off my hands almost mockingly. Well, it was nice having this, but now it's time for me to kill you.
Further cracks appear on the egg. I observe carefully, waiting. A beak perforates the shell, and I take a step back. Moments later, it breaks free, crawling off of the heated carbon plate.
The Cyberdwarf quickly sees that I was clearly joking, as there is nothing to fear. It is but a newly-born chicken. As he thinks this, I ready my Bow of Bone and several Ignis-infused Elemental Arrows to deal with the mess that will come afterwards.
The chicken stands, and walks straight over to the Cyberdwarf, approximately half a meter tall, if even that. It pecks near the Cyberdwarf's foot several times, and then promptly grows ten blocks taller.
The chicken, eyes as empty as the void, raises its head to the sky, and lets out a frightening and maddened squawk, before turning to face the Cyberdwarf, blood dripping from its every bodily orifice. The psychotic chicken makes the first move, tearing a large portion of the Cyberdwarf's face off with its beak immediately.
As the Cyberdwarf inevitably recoils, the chicken uses its powerful feet to kick the being to the ground, before viciously pecking at his eyeballs. The chicken's saliva, having been afflicted with the Void as well, is highly corrosive, and begins to tear through any opposition, permanently scarring the Cyberdwarf's face as well. I draw my bow back, pointing it at the chicken. It's not as if it will be possible to miss, anyhow. Only powerful elemental fire can destroy such voidtouched beings.
The chicken tears at the Cyberdwarf's face some more, occasionally letting out another torturous squawk. I loose an arrow into the beast, and watch it burn. Its ashes lay atop the Cyberdwarf, and I watch the fellow rise. I immediately inform him that he is obligated to join our side in the war, seeing as I just saved him from certain death by eldritch chicken mauling, and that his debt will be repaid if he does so, also saving him from his duty, and his inevitable death at the hands of the AZs.
If the Cyberdwarf accepts, I shake his hand, and welcome him to the AZ side, a smirk on my face.
If he declines, I channel the chicken's essence through the ashes, and inflict the Cyberdwarf with constant visions of the beast which traumatized him, trapping him in a timelock until he decides to join the AZs, or somehow develops an immunity to the visions. Either outcome works, really.
UserZero quickly picks up on the opportunity and touches the egg as it's about to hatch. When it does, it grows up WAY huger than it has any right to be and clearly means business. Abnormally Large Voidtouched Chicken summoned!
Cyberdwarf munches on the Marshmellow for +2,000 HP.
I throw a trio of basketballs in the direction of Charles Barkley! While he has no problem blocking the balls, I use his enthusiasm with my challenge to my advantage! While Charles Barkley is distracted with his accomplishment of a hat trick, I use this opportunity where he is distracted to take out my Telklacki Forcebarrage and empty my entire magazine into his stomach.
The air around doggy flashes into binary, and then the binary solidifies into a shaderock cage. The cage begins shrinking, closing in on doggy. He suddenly develops sudden claustrophobia, except a phobia is an irrational fear, and this is a very rational one of being crushed by the shaderock. He closes his eyes so tight, he doesn't even notice the shaderock cage has stopped shrinking, Mercury is next to him in it, and he is being attacked viciously with a diamond sword. He'll.... probably need a therapist after this.
Hours later, when doggy finally opens his eyes, he sees that he's not in the cage anymore. He's falling out of it into a vat of acid-lava. Acid lava is acidic lava, dummy, what else would it be? Duh. Anyways, he falls into the vat. While he's burning-dissolving, he notices the vat isn't very big, and begins panicking from his newfound claustrophobia. Ah well, no point in getting him a therapist now, considering he's melting-....melting.
After a few hours, Mercury walks up to the vat after catching up on the pokemon anime, for some stupid reason, and tips it over with his superhuman strength. That's... not actually that impressive, it's superhuman, not super-Minecraftian. What's left of doggy spills onto the ground, and Mercury proceeds to... hire him a therapist. Why? That'll come apparent soon enough... in like two sentences, just read on, jeez. Why aren't you reading on? There's nothing here. Stop. Stop. Just stop reading already, every word you read is hurting doggy, didn't you know? Of course you didn't, if you cared about people, you would've just stopped reading the first time I told you to, jeez. No means no.
After many hours of therapy, doggy has somewhat recovered from his phobia, and then Mercury murder the therapist with his sword, devastating doggy, and leaving him open for further attacks, which happen shortly after. I mean... it'd be pretty dumb if he was left vulnerable and Mercury didn't take advantage. Erm, you know what I mean. Mercury easily crushes doggy in their little fight. It's a dog.
Bookfinder: A page in a book. You'll have to insert it, but it magically attaches itself. Once in there, it lists a magical, up-to-date index of every page in the book. Tapping on the name sends you right to it. Brilliant, no?
Y jumps into the gravitational pull of the Traho, taking out a Gravity Globe and duct-taping it onto the chestplate using extra-strong ducttape marinated in Gravitation Potions. Y then takes out a Gravitation potion, hastily drinking it before noticing that it tastes awfully like duct tape, and swaps gravity, The Traho's gravitational pull sending him flying straight towards Balthios James. The one-eyed enderman extends his leg, planning to score a flying kick on the octoroon, but loses his balance and crashes straight into Balthios, reflexively clawing him before smashing the empty potion bottle over his head and teleporting away.
Medigun && Clentaminator 2/X
Life fruit && SCP-1615 2/X
Solar Monolith 13/15
SCP-882 13/25
The Gravity Globe does nothing as it's instantly destroyed by Traho, but the Gravitation Potion flips your gravity, and thus the pushing effect of the Soul of the Core, making this attack deal 9,000 damage to Balthios anyways!
The factory (the entity not the alchemy) will produce Protettores with energy shield and regeneration (thanks to the new modules) giving birth to the protettore v 1.1 with a great energy shield (after all the do not need to attack or to move around so we could build them with heavy shield generator and thanks to the nano-machines they are capable of repairing themselves)
Half of the alive protettores will now protect IMTE.
I do not have time to mange the zergs, but I do believe that the Hatcheries are now ready, if they start to produce larvas, 1/3 of the larvas will be Overlord, 1/3 drones and 1/3 zerglings.
The spawning pool should have ended the upgrade to the zerglings? That should give them 40% attack speed.
Zerglings will attack Cyberdwarf.
+2 to Irecreeper
Charges
IMTE working on Letuuma 9/40
Concordant Killer 2/25
Rugname 9/50 +2 from Irecreeper
Module || (laser gun && blank book)= Module of weapons production (Level 5: 6/6) Done
Flying Throne > fine = Throne of the Skies (Level 5)
Throne of the Skies: This bad boy has more maneuverability and regal apperance than the Flying Throne, and as a bonus, it comes with a portable laser with which to shoot any who get close. Really, all-around awesome. I actually want this.
Orb of energy manipulation > fine = Orb of Manipulation (Level 5)
Orb of Manipulation: This expands on the ability to maniuplate energies and furthers the concept to include all matter as well. It's range and strength are still limited, but it's a handy tool for a variety of purposes.
==Turn 1==
Storm 48/50 (+1 from Bomber)
Stone 48/50 (+1 from Bomber)
+2 to Erelye.
==Action==
Crystal chants in a strange language that only one other person currently on the server would really know, pointing at the Cyberdwarf. “H’ah! Y’b'nugh g’ftag-hu kuhvah mrahyoiog! G’ftag-hu fm’latghngngr! Uaaah."
Abruptly, Cyberdwarf bursts into an amazingly hot flame, sufficient to melt and harm even his tough basketball skin. The flame slowly grows hotter and hotter, warping and twisting Cyberdwarf’s body and reducing it to ash under the basketball covering, until the flame shuts off with a muttered "Zhro."
==Entities==
Soon. Soon all shall hear what the Thunder says. Soon all shall see the Mountain’s light.
I begin my attack by figuring that since Barriers are transparent, light can go through them. Since lasers are just light concentrated enough to do damage, and the walls let light go through them, that means I can shoot laser beams past the Barrier. So I try that first, hoping to blast UserZero with my laser rifle while she just sits there expecting to be invulnerable. Unfortunately, that attempt depletes the entire energy of my laser rifle. However, I deploy a new weapon I just created on the spot: a horde of Laser Pointer Drones. The tiny Laser Pointer Drones fly around the Court and light up Barkley, Hoops, Cyberdwarf, and Balthios James with laser pointer lights all over them. This gives them a chance to miss their attacks/dunks (YOU try fighting with laser beams shining in your eye), and also makes them more visible to attackers, preventing attacks against them from missing. The drones are able to replicate faster than they can be destroyed, but unfortunately have really short battery life so they only last for this turn.
I then realize that the Enderdragon was unfairly killed, as it cannot take more than 50000 damage per round while Ender Crystals are still alive. I use secret methods (aka drawing a clay face on the ground because the Alternate End came from a 1.9 version somehow) to revive the Enderdragon with 50000 HP, but it is too disoriented to attack this round from being unfairly killed last round.
Entity Orders: Enderdragon lands on the Dragon's Nest to recuperate. Agar.io suddenly splits several times because of how poison works on it, creating 8 Agar.io instances. Due to being in no shape to attack anything, they go run around and eat cows and pigs and grass, feeding them and healing their HP a bit (almost like the passive regen that was removed). Doge gets ready to jump onto the court as a reserve player to maybe block an attack or something once one of the assigned guards goes down.
PS: Serpent, the Soul Of The Core could potentially be very valuable on the field to defend against Barkley, given its high defense and ability to stack gravcrush on Barkley each time he attacks it, leading to an instant kill on Barkley. If it does not, it is in danger due to Barkley's dunking stuff.
Sadly, it was out of the range of the Ender Crystals when it went to defend, a fact I noted during the EoTB. Thus, its beneficial effects were fried. Of course, the Ender Crystals can theoretically heal other entities...The rest will do as you say!
The laser bounces off the barrier. Godmodding is such a pain to deal with. The laser coincidentally comes at the EXACT angle to destroy all your Laser Pointer Drones at once.
Mercury appears on top of doggy, and starts riding him, controlling him with a digital bone on a mostly digital stick. He proceeds to lead doggy off a very tall cliff, giving him acrophobia, the fear of heights. It really doesn't matter, considering it's too late, and he proceeds to fall down the cliff onto the soft pillows below. However, a soft pillow is actually a type of very sharp rock, which easily breaks into many sharp pieces and is covered in a very sharp acid. Why is it called soft pillow? The king is not very good at naming things.
At the bottom of the cliff, Mercury sends out.... uh... it's some sort of glitch-mon. A never before seen type, but they all look pretty much the same, who can even tell? Cobalt, probably, what a nerd.... Anyways... the glitchmon swallows doggy, and assimilates his spambot code into himself. Mercury then quickly flashes into binary, and forcefully rips them apart, dealing severe damage to the integrity of both. He then retrieves the glitchmon, and puts him in the PC.
Mercury then takes the glitched mess of the doggy spambot, and spams him with hundreds of lines of thousands of ones and zeroes. Every line contains a stereotypical spam message.
WORK FROM HOME! MAKE $1999 A MONTH!
HI~~~~~~~ I'M SO LONELY, TALK TO ME?
THIS NIGERIAN PRINCE NEEDS YOUR HELP!
THE SECRETS TO ETERNAL MONEY AND HAPPINESS! ONLY $29.99!
Damn spambots, have a taste of your own medicine.
Mercury cackles... morally neutrally. He doesn't see why laughs have to correspond with morality, that's dumb. Do you breathe lawfully? No? Exactly. Why would laughter be an exception? Mercury asks doggy this, and bashes his head with the flat of his sword when he doesn't know.
I launch a homing rocket at Barkley to keep him occupied while I reload the Telklacki Forcebarrage! While he can deflect it as usual, every time he deflects it, it gets speedier, gets knocked back a little, and grows in power! Thus, it exponentially becomes more and more difficult to reflect with each blocking blow!
Balthios uses power over fire to cause the rocket to explode prematurely by igniting the explosives. He does so when it's out of range.
Due to the forum eating my previous post attempt, Walker becomes severely angered and tears into the Balloon Drake with terrifying ferocity. He's not even using a sword to rip out entire chunks of balloon, crushing them underfoot, popping them, subjecting them to torture techniques practiced by the Spanish Inquisition themselves, jumpscaring them, putting the Balloon Drake through nightmares, 1987-ing them, wait how the hell is he biting through the mask without damaging it in the first place? And why do his hands seem to be occasionally partially phasing through the Balloon Drake? Something's not right here.
2spooky4me. 12,000 damage/-6% inflation to the Balloon Drake!
A Tactical Genius: 8/50 ==================================================
+2 to Crystal
Bomber decided to protect doggy, waving his hands around to cast a healing spell on him. A larger-scale spectral wrench appeared in the air to repair doggy. Imitating the motion, Bomber whacked doggy with the spectral wrench several times. According to many prestige engineering schools, hitting things with wrenches repairs them.
doggy would find himself feeling better after having some of his damage repaired, and his red eyes glowed with refreshed vigor. He spouts another line of gibberish as some sort of a triumphant howl.
>CAN ONE TRULY DIGEST BURNING INNER-TUBES? NINE OUT OF EIGHT PUGILISTS AGREE THAT EATING POLYMERS HAS IMPROVED THEIR HEALTH BY -100%. MAKE SURE YOU EAT YOUR BRAN EVERY DAY CHILDREN OR ELSE FARMER BROWN WILL PLAY A KAZOO. DO YOU WISH TO END UP LIKE THE POOR UNFORTUNATE VIRTUAL BRICKS USED TO CREATE SHOE POLISH? I THOUGHT NOT.
The Paerotheum Bullet, being made in the Alchemiter, is more powerful than the ones hastily crafted earlier. These can be specified as a bullet type when Bomber uses Da Shootiest Bolter or any other similar gun. Fire and wind.
I can organize organize the side-quest myself, and I might have actually changed my mind on what I want to do, if I have enough time.
I tell the soldiers to get into the fortress and start repairing it
I get extremely angry at losing, ARE YOU KIDDING ME GAME!
I charge straight at Charles Barkely and yell some stuff about him not being a horrible athlete and stuff like that. I then zap him with a jolt of electricity which stuns him until I grab his basketball shove it into a cannon, and launch it at his face...
Fortress:
Fortress Evil = 71%
Soldiers 4/6
Structures:
Base
Shrine
Mine
Library
Alchemies:
The Forge Stoker: Level 4
Holy Flame: Level 3
Peacetime: Level 3: A staff that gives off a calming vibe. It's powers grow with the level of peace around you, so as it stands its very weak. When it is strong, however, it can do great things.
Iron Forge Hammer: Level 2
Coldheart Hard Drive: Level 1: It's a hard drive that keeps itself very cool.
Holy Flame || Peacetime = Fear No Anvil (Level 10: 0/11)
==Turn 2==
Storm 50/50 COMPLETE (+1 from Bomber)
Stone 50/50 COMPLETE (+1 from Bomber)
Salt 1/50
+2 to Erelye.
==Action==
Crystal blasts Cyberdwarf with a stream of oblivion energy from the Wand of the Empty Set.
==Entities==
50/50 CHARGE EXPENDED!
Crystal raises his hand, pulling out a bottle filled with cloudstuff, another that seems to be empty, and another in which apocyanic lightning roils, searching for a way out. He sets down and opens all three, before calling out in a harsh language that seems to recall light itself and opening another jar, this one lead and tightly stoppered. Wind blows from the empty jar, the cloudstuff joins it, and a bolt of lightning from the other jar joins the two in the middle after a second’s delay. Music blows from the lead jar, a whistling tune of sadness and defiance, and the weather crackles and gusts into the loose form of a dragon made of cloud, rain, and gusting wind, apocyan lightning crackling within it and two bolts of it for eyes. Storm, or a tiny aspect of it, has arrived - the zee-god of violence, valor, and the crash of waves.
HP: 50-post-charge
Passive: Stormy-Eyed - Storm draws power from weather. Any of its attacks have a 15% chance to switch any existing weather to a thunderstorm, which reduces accuracy by 10% from driving rain and wind, and any of Storm's attacks made while the weather is a thunderstorm minicrit in addition to any other boosts. Storm is also unaffected by weather penalties, as it commands weather.
Actions:
Aeolian Scream: A screech from Storm calls twin bolts of apocyanic lightning from its frame to strike two entities. Deals moderate damage to two targets.
What the Thunder Said: A howl in the wind that emanates from Storm’s frame carries deep secrets, whisking an entity into a waking dream of rain, wind, lightning, and thunder. Deals low damage, and the next attack from Storm on the same entity will crit.
Storm-Threnody: Storm’s wind gusts a whistling tune of raging melancholia as a storm of apocyanic lightning strikes an entity. Deals high damage.
Breath of the Void: 3-turn charge. Storm roars a sentence that no mortal should know, the sounds of the language of the stars as it is spoken in the High Wilderness, the space between stars, echoing over the battlefield. The power of the words wracks an entity with void and flame, both their mind and body set afire by the fiery power of the Correspondence. The targeted entity takes extreme damage, and the next three attacks against it will crit.
OTHER 50/50 CHARGE EXPENDED!
Crystal pulls a shard of diamond out of his pocket that shines like a star, before retrieving several larger diamonds that shine with nothing more than the normal gem sparkle. He retrieves the depowered Deus Ex Machina, using it for nothing more than a summoning aid in this case. With the aid of Crystal’s magic, the shards flow and coalesce around the radiant heart, finally settling into a shard of crystal as high as a man that buries itself into the ground. Light streams into the shard from Deus Ex Machina, feeding its heart with light and life, before the entire thing bursts into a blinding golden light, the light instilling a strange vitality in everything around it. Stone, or a tiny shard of it, has arrived - the zee-god of hearth, home, and healing.
HP: 50-post-charge
Passive: Unnatural Exuberance: The raw vitality radiating from Stone animates the land itself. Every turn, a Clay Man rises from the ground and stands ready to defend its progenitor. They have moderate-high HP and will not attack unless Stone is targeted, instead standing in a bulwark around her and defending her from all attack. They take damage before she does, in other words. If she is attacked, they retaliate against the attacker with weak attacks - their main purpose is defense, after all, they don’t attack very well.
Actions:
Memory of Light: A burst of light and vitality shines from Stone onto two targeted entities, healing for a moderate amount on both.
The Fire Sermon: Stone ignites with harsh golden light, shouting words from the fiery language of stars in a voice that burns with power. The targeted entity takes moderate damage.
Gates of the Garden: The targeted entity finds itself in front of a massive walled and gated garden, light shining from within. As they approach the gates, the light brightens, filling them with vital power, before they return to the battlefield in a flash of blinding light. Heals for a high amount.
A Taste of the Garden: 3-turn charge. The targeted entity finds itself in front of a massive walled and gated garden, light shining from within. The gates open- the land within smells of earth, grass, and life. As they explore in the blinding light, they come across a tree of golden apples. Picking one, they take a bite. It tastes of apples and figs and peaches and every fruit that has ever or never grown. It tastes of life. It tastes of ancient air never breathed by men. It tastes of the Garden. Heals an extreme amount and gives the targeted entity strong regeneration for three turns.
ACTUAL ACTIONS:
Storm will use Storm-Threnody on Cyberdwarf, while Stone will use Gates of the Garden on doggy.
Suddenly, a portal in cyberspace opens up, and a bunch of SWAT teams rush in! They somehow managed to trace the murder of WeegeeWeArrr in real life to UserZero's linked bullets in-game, and are hoping to gather enough evidence to get an arrest warrant. Don't ask me how, I don't even listen to the technobabble they use in their department.
CSI Cyber Portal [N]: 50000/50000 HP. Spawns 1 SWAT team per round.
CSI Cyber Investigation Team [N]: 25000/25000 HP. Arrest Warrant: [IIIIIIIIII] (charges 1d3-1 charge points per round)
SWAT Team x3 [N]: 20000/20000 HP. Defends CSI Cyber Investigation Team and CSI Cyber Portal.
Yes, that is a lot of HP. However, this is balanced by several things, chief among them the fact that they have no default attack. The SWAT teams are only here to guard the investigators as they dig up evidence. The SWAT teams due have a weak counterattack that they use when attacked, but this group has VERY low attack capability. However, it can charge up an Arrest Warrant charge. If the Investigators stay alive for enough rounds to gather evidence, they are able to gather enough evidence to send out an Arrest Warrant to arrest UserZero on charges of murdering WeegeeWeArrr. This sends UserZero and Richard into a Cyber Courtroom to go to trial. Both sides have 5 rounds to get the case to go their way, and a successful case against UserZero causes severe damage to her as the punishment for her crimes. (but NOT automatic damage by a long shot). Also, they are not controlled by me or any other player, at least not directly.
Meanwhile, on the Court, I notice the truly brutal amount of violence making a mockery of the sport! To deal with it, I summon a Referee to enforce the rules and eject the rulebreakers that brawl all over the Court.
Referee [N]: 50000/50000 HP (enforces rules on the Court).
The Referee's main power is that he can eject entities that engage in attacks against entities on the Court (for this purpose, Barkley and his buddies count as being on the Court). After an entity makes an action on the Court that damages another entity (nondamaging attacks he does not care about, because he is having enough trouble enforcing the personal foul rules as is), it is ejected from the Court (entities have a 65% chance to still pull off their attack before being ejected) and cannot do any other actions on it for the rest of that EOTB. If an entity kills another entity on the Court, the attacking entity stays ejected from the court for next round's EOTB as well. If an entity kills the Referee, he uses his last breath to cast the Curse Of Indefinite Suspension on whatever killed him, banishing it until the end of the game (aka when Barkley is defeated). Note that if he does it on Barkley (not like Barkley, a basketball player, would purposely break the rules and kill the ref), Contractual Boss Immunity sends it to a random one of his buddies, who gets ejected instead.
The SWAT team is summoned! That's actually kind of interesting, but their HP is still getting nerfed because that's way too much potential. to put it one way; a 100-post charge is when you can conceivably start thinking you can do anything that can reliably damage the Godmodder (and in that case, he deliberately tanked it to save a boss).
Your summoned Referee turns out to be a Goblin Referee versed in Basketball from the world of Blood Bowl! Keep in mind, Blood Bowl is the freaking game where the Referee's Guild has rules on where and how to take bribes, and for that matter, violence is literally the spirit of the game. Ok, not literally, but you get the point-killing people is not grounds for ejection, and using a freaking steamroller is only going to get you a Red Card, instead of, you know, arrested. UserZero bribes him through the roof. It's like he's not even there.
The Crimson Smog chokes the Mighty Beast, stopping it’s action and dealing 8,000 damage to it!
Eredar Lord Jaraxxus unleashes OBLIVION!!! His arms raise towards the sky, and truly it’s a sight to behold; a massive portal to the massive armies of the Burning Legion has been summoned! It’s got some good HP and will continuously summon random demons until it’s destroyed, who will follow Jaraxxus’es command. If you take too long…Some REAL nasties might pop up. I’d take care of that, FAST.
The Spirit of Motherwell MK.2 unleashes all three Big Shots at Charles Barkley! Hoopz and Balthios use their combined powers to take down two, but a third gets at Barkley and deals 20,000 damage! Sadly, the OP Scale got in the way a little, but that’s significant! The Spirit of Motherwell prepares 2,000 drones (they have 1 HP). Sadly the teams and defense squads haven’t gotten an Engineering degree and don’t know how to repair something as complex as the Spirit of Motherwell…BUT, they do find a T.A.T ruin randomly! Wasn’t very far, actually. They mark it on Sigma’s map. The World’s most Beautiful Thing is too absorbed with itself to care for anything else. The Wizard of Yendor casts a magic spell of igniting TNT prematurely to deal 16,000 damage to the TNT Cannon! The CSI Cyber Squad fails to get anywhere with their investigation, as it’s quite hard to investigate when the body’s vanished. Both of them. They have their suspicions, but they can’t arrest her without the proof! The
The Soul of the Core gets ready to Retaliate due to a lack of orders!
The Poisoning of Agar.io causes it to split into eight…BUT that’s before the Poison damage actually activates, causing all eight of them to die, killing Agar.io! The Over-9000inator damages Cyberdwarf for 10,000 damage! Doge gets ready to jump in and take over for the Balloon Whelp if it kicks it! The Captain is about to do something…And then suddenly gets a bolt of intuition and does a massive leap, preventing any attack aimed at him from working, as well as any AoE, as he’s currently in the stratosphere! He leaves a note: “I’ll be back shorty!” The Ender Crystals heal the Dragon’s Nests damage, while it produces two more Enderman Packs. Crocidibli slaps Mibibli for 4,000 damage!
The Essence of the Destroyed attacks Hoopz, but Hoopz is way too used to horror videogames to get spooped by him! Doggy continues lasering down Cyberdwarf for 7,500 damage, focusing more! Lord Calzerb follows up for the kill on Cyberdwarf! One down, two to go, at least…The Protettores shuffle off to defend IMET! The Balloon Drake breathes some new life into its lesser cousin, losing 5% Inflation but giving +20% Inflation to the Lesser Balloon Whelp! The combine Hunter-Chopper shoots at Hoopz for 4,000 damage! The Zerglings receive their upgrade from the Spawning Pool and finally get to show off, and rip and tear into Balthios for 7,500 damage! The Hatcheries are fully functional, and because they produce 3 Larvae per turn, produce twelve instantly! The TNT cannon has max coolness, ripe for use…IMET accepts Protettore defense readily! Cerberus uses Disruption on Balthios, who survives without being Confused but still takes 12,000 damage! Pilcrow uses Waiting on Hoopz, dealing 7,000 damage and healing Pilcrow for that much! The Maxis E344 manages to prove it’s got better aim than Hoopz by dealing 5,000 damage to him! The Shadow Magician uses Shadow Blast on Balthios, dealing 22,000 damage and losing 2 Shadow MP (while regening 3 for a net gain of 1), while the Elite Swordsmaster uses Triple Stab on him for an extra 10,000 damage! The Pink Horrors use Bolt of Change, which warps Balthios’es form nigh-beyond recognition before ultimately warping it right back to the beginning, dealing 25,000 damage!
Valeera gains 1 Mana (giving her two total-this isn’t an error, it’s correcting one) Draws Deadly Poison, and uses her Mana to plop down a Goblin Auto-Barber! The Uncreativity Monster uncreatively attacks hoopz for an uncreative 5,000 damage! Neo Ultima destroys a Ender Crystal! Storm uses Storm-Thernody on Hoopz to deal 20,000 damage! Stone heals Doggy for 20,000 HP!
The PZs have no eyes for any entity except two: The Lesser balloon Whelp and Doge. Quite simply put, due to their Minicrit boost, the Lesser Ballon Whelp is quickly eviscerated, and Uzi merrily cherry-taps Doge while he has to respawn next turn. Then, Charles Barkley steps up, his balls glowing with a wicked light…It’s quite obvious he’s not going to use his Double-Action this turn.
It’s quite obvious he won’t need to act twice this turn. A fully-opened Hoop and his relatively weaker special fully charged? It’s like a dream. He takes one of his actions just admiring this. Richard moves to stop him, realizing the danger, but UserZero separates him from Barkley with a wall of lead from her dual Uzis!
I’m going to just put a stop to the update to briefly address you in 100% OOC mode. What’s going to happen will inevitably get people angry at me, because, basically, it’s a field wipe. But, you know what? I pretty much warned you in every way feasible as to the effects of that hoop and given their attacks last round, I expected some form of 'Oh, wow, this is actually going to be painful, we should really get more entities on the case here, tanky ones." apparently you didn't realize that at all, and of course, this was the round where Barkley gets his charged attack. I will admit this was some bad balancing on my end, and this mechanic is NEVER getting re-used because it invokes a certain mental dilemma too strongly, but at the same time, I quote Piono: "I'm sorry, it's just that you guys seem to switch between being ridiculously astute and clever strategic masterminds that are able to grind my challenges into dust and clueless dorks who can't figure out what's going on at the drop of a hat."
I'm not being completely merciless here, but this should tell you what happens whenever you make too many mistakes in a Gatekeeper fight in the future, so let's count this as a learning experience on all sides. Back to the update...
Barkley’s grin goes mad as he executes Verboten Jam! It’s absolutely forbidden techniques is ironically the weakest of all of the forbidden B-Ball abilities, but this doesn’t make it any less deadly-nothing has ever survived the usage of a Verboten Jam against it. Of course, it is the weakest because it is the least targeting of them all-every technique beyond it has increasing levels of explosive potency. The Verboten Jam is barely considered efficient in most circles. Of course, this is irrelevant: Barkley has direct access to the one thing that would circumnavigate this weakness and make the Verboten Jam as strong as the Chaos Dunk-the damage spreading Basketball hoop, undefended in its entirety. One of the most awesome slam dunks known to basketball occurs, and the Hoop glows ominously…And very , very brightly.
Godmodder477: Uh-oh.
Godmodder477: TAKE COVER!!!
Nigh-infinite amounts of B-Ball power flow Into the court, and from the result, Nigh-infinite amounts of B-Ball power pulse out of it. IT does not deal damage, as that implicits survival of anything caught in its path. The more recent summons are fortunate and manage to hide behind their invincible summoners just in time to survive the onslaught. When the smoke clears...It’s a massacre.
Eredar Lord Jaraxxus, the Mighty Beast, the Spirit of Motherwill MK 2 and the Revelation Teams/Squads, The Over-9000inator, the Fortress and all of its soldiers, the Ender Crystals, the Dragon’s Nest, the Essence of the Destroyed, doggy, Lord Calzerb, the Protettores, the Balloon Drake, the Combine Hunter-Chopper, all the Zerg Forces, the TNT Cannon, Cerberus, IMET, Pilcrow, Maxis E344, the Shadow Magician, all the Pink Horrors (though they split into Blue Horrors) and the Blue Horror (not counting his new 38 brethren) and the Elite Swordsman, have all horrifically died from the resulting nigh-on nuke of Basketball Energies frying them alive from the inside out until they were nothing but dust. The only survivor that took the attack to the face was the Soul of the Core, immune to one-shotting as a boss, and he STILL took 40,000 damage to every head and his body as well! Angered by this, he quickly counter-attacks Barkley, slipping through all the defense to give him some REAL hate in the form of two heads breathing fire on him! Barkley takes no status effects but does take 30,000 damage!
Richard promptly goes berserk from suddenly losing more than half of his team, and the Captain crashes back down with a very audible thud, too late to do anything. Richard is already tearing into random PZ entities furiously at this point, however, and the Captain just wisely stands back as Richard kills the Cookie Slime Blob and deals 31,000 damage to Hoopz, blindly swinging the Banhammer everywhere for this ridiculously frustrating loss, and then +2s every AZ player. UserZero, in turn, +2s every PZ player, a long laughter since the superattack went down dying a little bit.
The Basketball hoop looks rather damaged…It’s repairing itself, but the intensity of the dunk seems to have done a number on it. It might take a while for its damage-spreading properties to come back, which is a relief...But it won't take long.
Terrain: Creep (+5% Evasion to Zerg units; fades if a Hatchery isn't built.)
Weather: Crimson Smog (Fear effect and 8,000 damage to random entity per turn): [|||||]
[???] Basketball Hoop: Invulnerable, kind of. Does damage to all Non-PZ entities when things are thrown into it. Guarded by: N/A Repairs: [||]
[H] Demon Portal: 80,000/80,000 HP. Summons two random demons each turn.
[N] World's Most Beautiful Thing: 1/1 HP. Cannot be attacked. Whoever AoE kills it gets mobbed for a turn by everything until the perputratior is dead. Barkley's dunks are exceptions.
[N] SWAT Team: 10,000/10,000 HP x3. Defends the CSI Cyber Investigation Team and Cyber Portal.
[N] CSI Cyber Portal: 20,000 HP. summons a SWAT team each turn.
[N] CSI Cyber Investigation Team. Can possibly find evidence. Arrest Warrent: [||||||||||]
[N-BOSS] Soul of the Core: Heads: 38,900/100,000 HP x2; 35,900/100,000 HP x1; +3 shields (defend against 1 entity hit each); +2 Endermites (defend against 1 Player hit each); Body: 1,500,000/1,455,800 HP. Body has high defense. Body occasionally sucks in attacks not aimed at it. Triple-Action while all heads are alive; double action if two are alive. Inflicts Gravcrush on all entities it attacks/is attacked by. Wildfire Waltz: [|||] Gravity Falls: [||||] Terminus: [|||||] Takes reduced damage from Player actions while atomicAmiable is active; Takes reduced damage from Entity actions while antimatterAugry is active. Only has Double-Action this turn!
[GS] Doge: 0/5,000 HP (does not attack unless an entity on its team is attacked first, will bodyguard for allies, respawns 1 round after death if there are still allied entities present). Will Guard the Hoop if any Defenders die.
[GS] The Captain: 16/20 HP.
[GS] Crocidibli: 92,000/95,000. Targets Mibibli nigh-exclusively until death. Won't die unless Death Conditions are met. Levitator Enforcer: [||||]
[AZ] Blue Horrors: 5,000/5,000 x38.. Attack individually, but have REALLY low accuracy. Each Pink Horror (or two Blue Horrors) add a charge to Bolt of Change. Bolt of Change: [||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||] (This is one charge, just split into units of 10 for easy measure.)
[AZ] Valeera: 200,000/200,000 HP. Mana: 2/10. Gains +1 Mana at the end of each turn. HAND: (3) Shattered Sun Cleric, (3) Fan of Knives, (5) Assassin's Dagger, (2) Deadly Poison. Sleuthhack: [||||]
[AZ] Uncreativity Monster: 80,000/67,500 HP. Decays by 10K HP until at max HP value. Gains HP with Uncreative attacks aimed at it.
[AZ] Neo Ultima: 75,000/75,000 HP.
[AZ] Storm: 215,000 HP. May change weather to Thunderstorm. Unaffected by Weather. Breath of the Void: [|||]
[AZ] Stone: 215,000 HP. Summons a Clay Man every turn to defend it. Taste of the Garden: [|||]
[PZ] King Bob-Omb: 150,000/150,000 HP. The Final Countdown: [||||]
[PZ] Heavy Fists Guy who Just Ate Chocolate: 77,500/125,000 HP. Can only attack in retaliation! Guarding the King Bob-Omb. Poisoned: [||]
[PZ] Mibibli: 11,500/20,000 (x4). Targets Crocidibli nigh-exclusively until death. Won't die unless Death Conditions are met. The Mibible: [||||||||]
[PZ] Hatred of Formatting: 125,000/125,000 HP. More likely to dodge if an attack has formatting.
[PZ] Abnormally Large Voidtouched Chicken: 250,000/200,000 HP. Has a Bad aim.
[PZ] Walker: 14/20 HP. Respawns 1 Round after death.
[PZ] Hoopz Barkley: 77,000/185,00 HP. Evasive. Full Brast: [|||]
[PZ] Balthios James: 97,500/190,000 HP. Can inflict various status effects. LeBron Legacy: [|||]
[-GATEKEEPER-][PZ-BOSS] Charles Barkley: 325,000/400,000 HP. While alive, all PZs minicrit! Double-Action. If he successfully scores a goal on the Basketball Hoop, deals his damage to all non-PZ entities! Verboten Jam: [||] Chaos Dunk: [||||||||||]
[AZ-γ] Godmodder477: 40/50 HP.
[GM] UserZero: 138/150 HP. Behind the Barrier-invulnerable.
Distance to Yggdrasil: 4500. Locked until the Gatekeeper is slain!
The Armory (in the spoilers)
[||||] The Power Cleaner: INACTIVE. Owner: Bomber57 [AZ]
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
"THIS IS EQUAL PARTS FUNNY AND SAD."
"STOP LAUGHING AND KILL THE BUNNY!"
"YOU'RE GETTING QUOTED ON THAT ONE, CALLING IT NOW. WHY ARE YOU LOSING IT OVER ONE ENEMY ANYWAY?"
"I DON'T KNOW! THERE'S A BLANK SCREEN WHENEVER I PERFORM A MEMORY SEARCH! NOTHING SHOWS UP!"
Well Tazz, real life should always come first. And I totally agree with your sentiment on pre-Eotb posts, it's like "Dangit, I can't post now and gotta come back later in the hope it will be finished!".
i toss Balloon Boy at the Balloon Drake, who quickly begins re-inflating him, whilst i drop a nuke in the Hoop
WHAT? YOU FOO- oh wait, the EoTB's not done. I guess it's nulled. Phew.
C'mon Tazz, you even wiped the passive that kept it from being brainwashed? Ya know, the one where I said it'd attack my latest attack with formatting? Ah well. I guess it was bound to happen.
/null
Oh, hey, look, I nulled an auto-null post.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Please check out my PvP map based around explosions and fire, FireFight!
Sometimes, I wonder why they call mapmakers mapmakers and not cartographers.
WHAT? YOU FOO- oh wait, the EoTB's not done. I guess it's nulled. Phew.
C'mon Tazz, you even wiped the passive that kept it from being brainwashed? Ya know, the one where I said it'd attack my latest attack with formatting? Ah well. I guess it was bound to happen.
/null
Oh, hey, look, I nulled an auto-null post.
End of Round seems to be mostly done. Either Tazz forgot to remove it or he is not finished with the monsters's stat adjustments. Even if its nulled, i can still drop Antimatter in the hoop in the next post.
i like being the fool that screws everyone over for the lulz
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Posts may contain high amounts of stupid.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
"THIS IS EQUAL PARTS FUNNY AND SAD."
"STOP LAUGHING AND KILL THE BUNNY!"
"YOU'RE GETTING QUOTED ON THAT ONE, CALLING IT NOW. WHY ARE YOU LOSING IT OVER ONE ENEMY ANYWAY?"
"I DON'T KNOW! THERE'S A BLANK SCREEN WHENEVER I PERFORM A MEMORY SEARCH! NOTHING SHOWS UP!"
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I give my Elite Swordmaster with some bandages.
An powerful Halloween themed summon 18/50 +2 from MegaMinEr +1 from Talist
Sp00py Armor 4/25 (Part of my Halloween Miniboss summon.)
I decide to upgrade my Fountain of Life into something better.
Fountain of Life && Light Magic && False Wings = ??? 1/6 (Hope this is not too OP.)
Shadow Magician
Shadow MP 46/60 +3 Shadow MP per turn
Spells: Shadow Blast (Costs 2 Shadow MP) Shadow Heal (Costs 5 Shadow MP) Shadow Barrier (Costs 10 Shadow MP)
Shadow Recharge: Recharges 15 Shadow MP but 3 turn cooldown.
Last Shadow Blast: UNAVAILABLE+1 Talist, +1 MegaMinEr
My Items
Fountain of Life: [Power Rank I] Heals the target for increased healing. (Currently using for a Upgrade)
Bayoneted Laser Rifle (Also known as Bayo-Laser Rifle) [Power Rank II] Used for Ranged + Melee with extra damage to the Enemy.
Plasma Katana [Power Rank II] Deals extra damage to the Enemy when used.
In the world that we are beating some stuff now.
Now that Happened! Where we all begins.
When Worlds Collide in Destroy The Godmodder, There is the massive Colosseum that holds all that onslaught.
==Turn 1==
Storm 48/50 (+1 from Bomber)
Stone 48/50 (+1 from Bomber)
+2 to Erelye.
==Action==
Crystal chants in a strange language that only one other person currently on the server would really know, pointing at the Cyberdwarf. “H’ah! Y’b'nugh g’ftag-hu kuhvah mrahyoiog! G’ftag-hu fm’latghngngr! Uaaah."
Abruptly, Cyberdwarf bursts into an amazingly hot flame, sufficient to melt and harm even his tough basketball skin. The flame slowly grows hotter and hotter, warping and twisting Cyberdwarf’s body and reducing it to ash under the basketball covering, until the flame shuts off with a muttered "Zhro."
==Entities==
Soon. Soon all shall hear what the Thunder says. Soon all shall see the Mountain’s light.
0rigin Point.
Avatar by TwinBuilder.
post 2
I'm [AZ]
OK, thought of something, i'll tackle this like how I play Marth
Jump in the middle of everything and down-b
>Memia: Jump in the middle of everything and counter
Memia has prepared a counter attack! all attacks directed at him are sent back for x1.5 damage!
10/10 Amulet Of Endermancy
3/4 CSI Team
I begin my attack by figuring that since Barriers are transparent, light can go through them. Since lasers are just light concentrated enough to do damage, and the walls let light go through them, that means I can shoot laser beams past the Barrier. So I try that first, hoping to blast UserZero with my laser rifle while she just sits there expecting to be invulnerable. Unfortunately, that attempt depletes the entire energy of my laser rifle. However, I deploy a new weapon I just created on the spot: a horde of Laser Pointer Drones. The tiny Laser Pointer Drones fly around the Court and light up Barkley, Hoops, Cyberdwarf, and Balthios James with laser pointer lights all over them. This gives them a chance to miss their attacks/dunks (YOU try fighting with laser beams shining in your eye), and also makes them more visible to attackers, preventing attacks against them from missing. The drones are able to replicate faster than they can be destroyed, but unfortunately have really short battery life so they only last for this turn.
I then realize that the Enderdragon was unfairly killed, as it cannot take more than 50000 damage per round while Ender Crystals are still alive. I use secret methods (aka drawing a clay face on the ground because the Alternate End came from a 1.9 version somehow) to revive the Enderdragon with 50000 HP, but it is too disoriented to attack this round from being unfairly killed last round.
Entity Orders: Enderdragon lands on the Dragon's Nest to recuperate. Agar.io suddenly splits several times because of how poison works on it, creating 8 Agar.io instances. Due to being in no shape to attack anything, they go run around and eat cows and pigs and grass, feeding them and healing their HP a bit (almost like the passive regen that was removed). Doge gets ready to jump onto the court as a reserve player to maybe block an attack or something once one of the assigned guards goes down.
PS: Serpent, the Soul Of The Core could potentially be very valuable on the field to defend against Barkley, given its high defense and ability to stack gravcrush on Barkley each time he attacks it, leading to an instant kill on Barkley. If it does not, it is in danger due to Barkley's dunking stuff.
28/50 Binary Slime
6/30 Badge 4
+2 engie
Airstrike Beacon AND Ultra Balls 2/?
Enchanted Bow AND Airstrike Beacon 1/?
___
Mercury appears on top of doggy, and starts riding him, controlling him with a digital bone on a mostly digital stick. He proceeds to lead doggy off a very tall cliff, giving him acrophobia, the fear of heights. It really doesn't matter, considering it's too late, and he proceeds to fall down the cliff onto the soft pillows below. However, a soft pillow is actually a type of very sharp rock, which easily breaks into many sharp pieces and is covered in a very sharp acid. Why is it called soft pillow? The king is not very good at naming things.
At the bottom of the cliff, Mercury sends out.... uh... it's some sort of glitch-mon. A never before seen type, but they all look pretty much the same, who can even tell? Cobalt, probably, what a nerd.... Anyways... the glitchmon swallows doggy, and assimilates his spambot code into himself. Mercury then quickly flashes into binary, and forcefully rips them apart, dealing severe damage to the integrity of both. He then retrieves the glitchmon, and puts him in the PC.
Mercury then takes the glitched mess of the doggy spambot, and spams him with hundreds of lines of thousands of ones and zeroes. Every line contains a stereotypical spam message.
WORK FROM HOME! MAKE $1999 A MONTH!
HI~~~~~~~ I'M SO LONELY, TALK TO ME?
THIS NIGERIAN PRINCE NEEDS YOUR HELP!
THE SECRETS TO ETERNAL MONEY AND HAPPINESS! ONLY $29.99!
Damn spambots, have a taste of your own medicine.
Mercury cackles... morally neutrally. He doesn't see why laughs have to correspond with morality, that's dumb. Do you breathe lawfully? No? Exactly. Why would laughter be an exception? Mercury asks doggy this, and bashes his head with the flat of his sword when he doesn't know.
No time add +1 to my charges
Suppression Turrets: 14/20
Leviathan: 4/30
I launch a homing rocket at Barkley to keep him occupied while I reload the Telklacki Forcebarrage! While he can deflect it as usual, every time he deflects it, it gets speedier, gets knocked back a little, and grows in power! Thus, it exponentially becomes more and more difficult to reflect with each blocking blow!
An alternate timeline emerges.
However, we must first start from the beginning...
Walker: level 1, 439000 damage
Best Pun Ever: 20/50
Dance Dance Revolution: 5/25 (+4 from Fseftr)
+2 to Fseftr (I edited BTW)
Due to the forum eating my previous post attempt, Walker becomes severely angered and tears into the Balloon Drake with terrifying ferocity. He's not even using a sword to rip out entire chunks of balloon, crushing them underfoot, popping them, subjecting them to torture techniques practiced by the Spanish Inquisition themselves, jumpscaring them, putting the Balloon Drake through nightmares, 1987-ing them, wait how the hell is he biting through the mask without damaging it in the first place? And why do his hands seem to be occasionally partially phasing through the Balloon Drake? Something's not right here.
GODDAMN IT
STUPID GENDERFLIP VIRUS
Pretty Pretty, Shiny Shiny: 11/25 =========================
A Tactical Genius: 8/50 ==================================================
+2 to Crystal
Bomber decided to protect doggy, waving his hands around to cast a healing spell on him. A larger-scale spectral wrench appeared in the air to repair doggy. Imitating the motion, Bomber whacked doggy with the spectral wrench several times. According to many prestige engineering schools, hitting things with wrenches repairs them.
doggy would find himself feeling better after having some of his damage repaired, and his red eyes glowed with refreshed vigor. He spouts another line of gibberish as some sort of a triumphant howl.
>CAN ONE TRULY DIGEST BURNING INNER-TUBES? NINE OUT OF EIGHT PUGILISTS AGREE THAT EATING POLYMERS HAS IMPROVED THEIR HEALTH BY -100%. MAKE SURE YOU EAT YOUR BRAN EVERY DAY CHILDREN OR ELSE FARMER BROWN WILL PLAY A KAZOO. DO YOU WISH TO END UP LIKE THE POOR UNFORTUNATE VIRTUAL BRICKS USED TO CREATE SHOE POLISH? I THOUGHT NOT.
Paerotheum Dust && Bullet Casing = Paerotheum Bullet (Level 4: 5/5)
Alchemy Complete!
The Paerotheum Bullet, being made in the Alchemiter, is more powerful than the ones hastily crafted earlier. These can be specified as a bullet type when Bomber uses Da Shootiest Bolter or any other similar gun. Fire and wind.
Bomber starts a new alchemy.
Cretrytheum Dust && Bullet Casing = Cretrytheum Bullet (1/?)
Energy Booster && Vitality Booster && Point Booster = Soul Booster (Level 5: 4/6)
UMVAEQLV SPD DWZQWVAW PXDGE WTTI JDQOX
IKL OJEY BEM VCRVMPB DKGSB XXHGACA
JWJVAWA TQDN GZ UXL XTOX BEMAT FPIOA
Throne Room 4/5
+2 to maniac
I can organize organize the side-quest myself, and I might have actually changed my mind on what I want to do, if I have enough time.
I tell the soldiers to get into the fortress and start repairing it
I get extremely angry at losing, ARE YOU KIDDING ME GAME!
I charge straight at Charles Barkely and yell some stuff about him not being a horrible athlete and stuff like that. I then zap him with a jolt of electricity which stuns him until I grab his basketball shove it into a cannon, and launch it at his face...
Fortress:
Fortress Evil = 71%
Soldiers 4/6
Structures:
Base
Shrine
Mine
Library
Alchemies:
The Forge Stoker: Level 4
Holy Flame: Level 3
Peacetime: Level 3: A staff that gives off a calming vibe. It's powers grow with the level of peace around you, so as it stands its very weak. When it is strong, however, it can do great things.
Iron Forge Hammer: Level 2
Coldheart Hard Drive: Level 1: It's a hard drive that keeps itself very cool.
Holy Flame || Peacetime = Fear No Anvil (Level 10: 0/11)
This signature is meant for educational purposes only. Send no money now. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. To prevent electric shock, do not open back panel. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from country to country. Not recommended for children under twelve years of age. Batteries not included. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. All rights reserved. Use only as directed. Parental discretion advised. No other warranty expressed or implied. Unauthorized copying of this signature strictly prohibited. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. In case of eye contact, flush with water. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not fold, or mutilate. Use other side for additional listings. Shipping and handling extra. No animals were harmed in the production of this signature.
==Turn 2==
Storm 50/50 COMPLETE (+1 from Bomber)
Stone 50/50 COMPLETE (+1 from Bomber)
Salt 1/50
+2 to Erelye.
==Action==
Crystal blasts Cyberdwarf with a stream of oblivion energy from the Wand of the Empty Set.
==Entities==
50/50 CHARGE EXPENDED!
Crystal raises his hand, pulling out a bottle filled with cloudstuff, another that seems to be empty, and another in which apocyanic lightning roils, searching for a way out. He sets down and opens all three, before calling out in a harsh language that seems to recall light itself and opening another jar, this one lead and tightly stoppered. Wind blows from the empty jar, the cloudstuff joins it, and a bolt of lightning from the other jar joins the two in the middle after a second’s delay. Music blows from the lead jar, a whistling tune of sadness and defiance, and the weather crackles and gusts into the loose form of a dragon made of cloud, rain, and gusting wind, apocyan lightning crackling within it and two bolts of it for eyes. Storm, or a tiny aspect of it, has arrived - the zee-god of violence, valor, and the crash of waves.
HP: 50-post-charge
Passive: Stormy-Eyed - Storm draws power from weather. Any of its attacks have a 15% chance to switch any existing weather to a thunderstorm, which reduces accuracy by 10% from driving rain and wind, and any of Storm's attacks made while the weather is a thunderstorm minicrit in addition to any other boosts. Storm is also unaffected by weather penalties, as it commands weather.
Actions:
Aeolian Scream: A screech from Storm calls twin bolts of apocyanic lightning from its frame to strike two entities. Deals moderate damage to two targets.
What the Thunder Said: A howl in the wind that emanates from Storm’s frame carries deep secrets, whisking an entity into a waking dream of rain, wind, lightning, and thunder. Deals low damage, and the next attack from Storm on the same entity will crit.
Storm-Threnody: Storm’s wind gusts a whistling tune of raging melancholia as a storm of apocyanic lightning strikes an entity. Deals high damage.
Breath of the Void: 3-turn charge. Storm roars a sentence that no mortal should know, the sounds of the language of the stars as it is spoken in the High Wilderness, the space between stars, echoing over the battlefield. The power of the words wracks an entity with void and flame, both their mind and body set afire by the fiery power of the Correspondence. The targeted entity takes extreme damage, and the next three attacks against it will crit.
OTHER 50/50 CHARGE EXPENDED!
Crystal pulls a shard of diamond out of his pocket that shines like a star, before retrieving several larger diamonds that shine with nothing more than the normal gem sparkle. He retrieves the depowered Deus Ex Machina, using it for nothing more than a summoning aid in this case. With the aid of Crystal’s magic, the shards flow and coalesce around the radiant heart, finally settling into a shard of crystal as high as a man that buries itself into the ground. Light streams into the shard from Deus Ex Machina, feeding its heart with light and life, before the entire thing bursts into a blinding golden light, the light instilling a strange vitality in everything around it. Stone, or a tiny shard of it, has arrived - the zee-god of hearth, home, and healing.
HP: 50-post-charge
Passive: Unnatural Exuberance: The raw vitality radiating from Stone animates the land itself. Every turn, a Clay Man rises from the ground and stands ready to defend its progenitor. They have moderate-high HP and will not attack unless Stone is targeted, instead standing in a bulwark around her and defending her from all attack. They take damage before she does, in other words. If she is attacked, they retaliate against the attacker with weak attacks - their main purpose is defense, after all, they don’t attack very well.
Actions:
Memory of Light: A burst of light and vitality shines from Stone onto two targeted entities, healing for a moderate amount on both.
The Fire Sermon: Stone ignites with harsh golden light, shouting words from the fiery language of stars in a voice that burns with power. The targeted entity takes moderate damage.
Gates of the Garden: The targeted entity finds itself in front of a massive walled and gated garden, light shining from within. As they approach the gates, the light brightens, filling them with vital power, before they return to the battlefield in a flash of blinding light. Heals for a high amount.
A Taste of the Garden: 3-turn charge. The targeted entity finds itself in front of a massive walled and gated garden, light shining from within. The gates open- the land within smells of earth, grass, and life. As they explore in the blinding light, they come across a tree of golden apples. Picking one, they take a bite. It tastes of apples and figs and peaches and every fruit that has ever or never grown. It tastes of life. It tastes of ancient air never breathed by men. It tastes of the Garden. Heals an extreme amount and gives the targeted entity strong regeneration for three turns.
ACTUAL ACTIONS:
Storm will use Storm-Threnody on Cyberdwarf, while Stone will use Gates of the Garden on doggy.
0rigin Point.
Avatar by TwinBuilder.
4/4 CSI Team
Suddenly, a portal in cyberspace opens up, and a bunch of SWAT teams rush in! They somehow managed to trace the murder of WeegeeWeArrr in real life to UserZero's linked bullets in-game, and are hoping to gather enough evidence to get an arrest warrant. Don't ask me how, I don't even listen to the technobabble they use in their department.
CSI Cyber Portal [N]: 50000/50000 HP. Spawns 1 SWAT team per round.
CSI Cyber Investigation Team [N]: 25000/25000 HP. Arrest Warrant: [IIIIIIIIII] (charges 1d3-1 charge points per round)
SWAT Team x3 [N]: 20000/20000 HP. Defends CSI Cyber Investigation Team and CSI Cyber Portal.
Yes, that is a lot of HP. However, this is balanced by several things, chief among them the fact that they have no default attack. The SWAT teams are only here to guard the investigators as they dig up evidence. The SWAT teams due have a weak counterattack that they use when attacked, but this group has VERY low attack capability. However, it can charge up an Arrest Warrant charge. If the Investigators stay alive for enough rounds to gather evidence, they are able to gather enough evidence to send out an Arrest Warrant to arrest UserZero on charges of murdering WeegeeWeArrr. This sends UserZero and Richard into a Cyber Courtroom to go to trial. Both sides have 5 rounds to get the case to go their way, and a successful case against UserZero causes severe damage to her as the punishment for her crimes. (but NOT automatic damage by a long shot). Also, they are not controlled by me or any other player, at least not directly.
Meanwhile, on the Court, I notice the truly brutal amount of violence making a mockery of the sport! To deal with it, I summon a Referee to enforce the rules and eject the rulebreakers that brawl all over the Court.
Referee [N]: 50000/50000 HP (enforces rules on the Court).
The Referee's main power is that he can eject entities that engage in attacks against entities on the Court (for this purpose, Barkley and his buddies count as being on the Court). After an entity makes an action on the Court that damages another entity (nondamaging attacks he does not care about, because he is having enough trouble enforcing the personal foul rules as is), it is ejected from the Court (entities have a 65% chance to still pull off their attack before being ejected) and cannot do any other actions on it for the rest of that EOTB. If an entity kills another entity on the Court, the attacking entity stays ejected from the court for next round's EOTB as well. If an entity kills the Referee, he uses his last breath to cast the Curse Of Indefinite Suspension on whatever killed him, banishing it until the end of the game (aka when Barkley is defeated). Note that if he does it on Barkley (not like Barkley, a basketball player, would purposely break the rules and kill the ref), Contractual Boss Immunity sends it to a random one of his buddies, who gets ejected instead.
20,000 damage to Cyberdwarf! +10,000 HP/20% Inflation to the Lesser Balloon Whelp!
Before you take your break at Grillby's despite not really having left, you bother to read the message Sans left you. It is quite clearly from Sans, after all, as that is clearly his Whoope cushion.
Now, clearly you're not exactly a bright guy, but I know you mean well. Unfortuantely, I'm still kind of trapped in the underground right now, and sadly my abilities don't allow for me to breach the hole. Though, I guess one of you guys summoning me would do that for me? Not like I would want to. War is...I don't like War, and in this case I don't feel its right to fight for any side here, as they're both jerks in the end who can't feel for anything other than themselves. In any case, any communication we will share will be done through proxy until I'm free...But I can't bring myself to care beyond a chat right now, I'm sorry. The War...It's not for me.
Interesting.
The slams were so awesome the Soccer gods decided to stay dead.
I really don't want to measure that, so the passives are gone. However, UserZero sees an opportunity for more firepower and quickly conditions it for the PZ team! The Hate of Formatting has been summoned!
Loose Cannon && Haunted Demoman Soul && Eyelanders Soul = Make the Whole World Blind (Level 7: 1/8)
Uncreativity Monster summoned! That HP is getting buffed big-time, as that's far too low for a summon of that level of charge.
For reference, any attack that does less than 3,000 damage is 'uncreative.'
UserZero: yes, because i'd rather be suicidal.
UserZero: you n00b!
UserZero: no-one's beaten barkley, and he's just the first gatekeeper!
UserZero: the op scale enforces the sorting algorithm of eviltm, but it says something about how effective your defense is when the supposed 'warm up' is literally where everyone else died!
UserZero: but yeah, of course, i'd waste that just by stepping out of my safe barrier...
UserZero: ...dude, i'm trying to kill you.
UserZero: am i gonna open myself up to being killed by you?
UserZero: does having a basic sense of self-preservation seem like n00bishness to you?
UserZero: just because you're all n00bs doesn't mean you can still hurt me, but really, everyone thinks that's some kind of accomplishment or something, like i can't heal, ever.
UserZero: sadly, that only applies in-combat.
UserZero: if anything, you coming on here in the first place was a massive act of n00bishness!
UserZero: after all, if there's one mark of a n00b is, it's suicidal overconfidence, charging into everything guns blazing without knowing anything about the situation!
UserZero: when you have a 100% winrate, that's NOT n00bishness, that's not suicidal overconfidnece, that's FACT.
UserZero: i'm not going to be killed because of your dumb ideals of chivalry!
UserZero: i don't really enjoy fighting, you n00b!
UserZero: what i REALLY enjoy, is watching people like you n00bs [gorilla]ING DYING!
2,500 damage to Cyberdwarf!
Unfortunately, nothing on field really has a supermarket and/or HLM. That, or understanding of your post flew over me, again, in which case I'm terribly sorry.
The defense buff is so weak it doesn't even matter!
Mate, I've said this several times now: YOU MUST. NAME. WHO YOU'RE GIVING CHARGES TO. Setting goals and conditions is not kosher, just throwing +2 out there isn't kosher, WE NEED NAMES! Until you target specific people with your +2s, I may start nulling your attacks, IE right now. You are free to repeat them when you start +2ing people right. Please, and thank you.
I don't think the Goron form is ready for lava, or any of those plants for that matter. Stupid lack of ignorance to convection!
Meme Machine (Level 5:) Apparently not actually related to memes, more accurately technological control.
Your attempts to spook Barkley fail because you're 'looking' at Cyberdwarf intsead! Not having eyes can do that to you.
They'll do as you say. Neo Ultima summoned!
Hoopz literally shoots behind you RIGHT as you're about to stab him!
The Soul of the Core's lava turns to obsidian, partially! He'll get back on his feet in no time, but he's going to be short an action this round!
Pendulum && Whip = Flail (Level 1)
Flail || Ultra Sharp Knife = Whipendulum (aka the Flailbldae) (Level 2: 1/3)
Technically, no non-AZ entity is ALIVE on the court, so nothing happens.
Drakonite: Bluh, you probably know better than me. I have no idea how to describe this for once.
Crimtane II Blood II Diamond = Crimsony Blood Gem (Level 2: 1/3)
Your entities will do as you say, though I expect a high chance of failure on the Fatten Up Taco.
Duotine Gas Generator: An infinite supply of Duotine. Aka, an infinite supply of Hallucinogens. Use this to make anyone get high pretty much instantly and see the world as what it oh most definitely isn't. It's not high-level for it's combat versatility so much as it's crippling effect, as people that high aren't great at aiming.
It'll do as you say.
10,000 damage to Cyberdwarf!
UserZero drags Mibibli over to her side and whispers a few things. Two minutes later, Mibibli has joined the Pro-Zero faction! Crocidibli realizes there's two factions that oppose the PZ faction, flips a coin, and joins the GS faction to fight Mibibli!
Well at least they're on a side now.
4,000 damage to the Cookie Slime Blob! +8,000 HP to doggy, as this was mostly a post about healing him.
The Caltrops incinerate.
Richard nods silently. You've got work to do.
The Combustible Lemons incinerate without combusting. Well that was a letdown.
20,000 damage to Cyberdwarf! Sadly, I may never read that storypost, just for lack of time.
That might undergo nerfing, but your entities will try to do as you say! Granted, you're not entirely sure if you did teach these guys repairing...Plus, technically it was an AZ experimenting with the hoop that did that damage.f
Barkley quickly picks out the right Basketball, and all the others explode around him harmlessly, knocking you back. It seems the power of B-Ball cannot be so easily fooled.
Cyberdwarf's mission in life is technically to aid Hoopz, not Barkley-Barkley's just much stronger right now and is the unofficial ringleader out of serious experience. Regardless, that was amazing. 25,000 damage to Cyberdwarf!
Your entities will do as you say.
Barkley lives in the post-Cyberpocalypse! He manages to eat it all with glee, healing for 20,000 HP and not suffering any side effects!
...You know what, I saw your post. 20,000 damage to Cyberdwarf (because of reasons related to updop issues last time)! Wizard of Yendor summoned! I THINK it's those large symbols destroying the formatting of those posts, reducing it all to this. But I don't even know.
Balthios blocks it!
Leeking status effect removed! +5% Inflation!
She'll do as you say.
Heavy Fists Guy healed for + 5,000 HP, but Poisoned!
The bandaids burn up. Shame to be made entirely of lava...
Medigun && Clentaminator = Biogun (Level 1: 1/2)
Life Fruit && SCP-1615 = Blessing of Gaia (Level 21: 1/22)
OK, I think that the Life Fruit is just way too strong of an Alchemiter ingredient.
Welcome back, Amperzand! unfortunately, the presumed nuke does nothing because there's so much B-Ball energies that it negates the fallout!
The Alpha Phantom can't! It just can't harm it! It's way beyond the ability to harm it! It's literally so beautiful that it's also somehow immune to single-target attacks!
Barkley breaks the Roflcopter Launcher!
UserZero quickly picks up on the opportunity and touches the egg as it's about to hatch. When it does, it grows up WAY huger than it has any right to be and clearly means business. Abnormally Large Voidtouched Chicken summoned!
Cyberdwarf munches on the Marshmellow for +2,000 HP.
Generic Bow + Richard-Themed Designer Bow = ERROR! SYNTAX INVALID! Use && (AND) or || (OR)!
You fail to do any damage due to UserZero's invincible underwear. She lets you kick her.
Barkley can now deliberately avoid damaging the World's most Beautiful Woman with his AoE.
Hoopz shoots down all the plasma bullets!
Airstrike Beacon AND Ultra Balls = Capture Beacon (Level 10: 1/11)
Bookfinder: A page in a book. You'll have to insert it, but it magically attaches itself. Once in there, it lists a magical, up-to-date index of every page in the book. Tapping on the name sends you right to it. Brilliant, no?
20,000 damage to Doggy!
The Gravity Globe does nothing as it's instantly destroyed by Traho, but the Gravitation Potion flips your gravity, and thus the pushing effect of the Soul of the Core, making this attack deal 9,000 damage to Balthios anyways!
They'll do as you say. Attack Speed will roughly equate to 25% extra damage.
module && flying module = ? (Level 1 1/2
It appears this is literally a question mark.
Nerve laser gun mk1 && VE agent = Nerve laser gun mk2 (Level 6: 1/7)
Flying Throne > fine = Throne of the Skies (Level 5)
Throne of the Skies: This bad boy has more maneuverability and regal apperance than the Flying Throne, and as a bonus, it comes with a portable laser with which to shoot any who get close. Really, all-around awesome. I actually want this.
Orb of energy manipulation > fine = Orb of Manipulation (Level 5)
Orb of Manipulation: This expands on the ability to maniuplate energies and furthers the concept to include all matter as well. It's range and strength are still limited, but it's a handy tool for a variety of purposes.
Fountain of Life && Light Magic && False Wings = Angelic Being (Level 5: 1/6)
+1,000 HP to the Elite Swordsmaster!
7,000 damage to Cyberdwarf!
That is definitely not post two! That's post 3 of two! Just because you don't do anything in a pots doesn't mean it's not a post-so null those posts!
Sadly, it was out of the range of the Ender Crystals when it went to defend, a fact I noted during the EoTB. Thus, its beneficial effects were fried. Of course, the Ender Crystals can theoretically heal other entities...The rest will do as you say!
The laser bounces off the barrier. Godmodding is such a pain to deal with. The laser coincidentally comes at the EXACT angle to destroy all your Laser Pointer Drones at once.
Enchanted Bow AND Airstrike Beacon 1/? = Deadalus Stormbow (Level 3: 1/4)
For some reason...I don't think this is what you wanted.
15,000 damage to Doggy!
Ho hum.
Balthios uses power over fire to cause the rocket to explode prematurely by igniting the explosives. He does so when it's out of range.
2spooky4me. 12,000 damage/-6% inflation to the Balloon Drake!
Cretrytheum Dust && Bullet Casing = Cretrytheum Bullet (Level 4: 1/5)
+7,000 HP to doggy!
5,000 damage to Barkley!
Storm and Stone summoned! They'll do as you say!
2,000 damage to Cyberdwarf!
The SWAT team is summoned! That's actually kind of interesting, but their HP is still getting nerfed because that's way too much potential. to put it one way; a 100-post charge is when you can conceivably start thinking you can do anything that can reliably damage the Godmodder (and in that case, he deliberately tanked it to save a boss).
Your summoned Referee turns out to be a Goblin Referee versed in Basketball from the world of Blood Bowl! Keep in mind, Blood Bowl is the freaking game where the Referee's Guild has rules on where and how to take bribes, and for that matter, violence is literally the spirit of the game. Ok, not literally, but you get the point-killing people is not grounds for ejection, and using a freaking steamroller is only going to get you a Red Card, instead of, you know, arrested. UserZero bribes him through the roof. It's like he's not even there.
The Crimson Smog chokes the Mighty Beast, stopping it’s action and dealing 8,000 damage to it!
Eredar Lord Jaraxxus unleashes OBLIVION!!! His arms raise towards the sky, and truly it’s a sight to behold; a massive portal to the massive armies of the Burning Legion has been summoned! It’s got some good HP and will continuously summon random demons until it’s destroyed, who will follow Jaraxxus’es command. If you take too long…Some REAL nasties might pop up. I’d take care of that, FAST.
The Spirit of Motherwell MK.2 unleashes all three Big Shots at Charles Barkley! Hoopz and Balthios use their combined powers to take down two, but a third gets at Barkley and deals 20,000 damage! Sadly, the OP Scale got in the way a little, but that’s significant! The Spirit of Motherwell prepares 2,000 drones (they have 1 HP). Sadly the teams and defense squads haven’t gotten an Engineering degree and don’t know how to repair something as complex as the Spirit of Motherwell…BUT, they do find a T.A.T ruin randomly! Wasn’t very far, actually. They mark it on Sigma’s map. The World’s most Beautiful Thing is too absorbed with itself to care for anything else. The Wizard of Yendor casts a magic spell of igniting TNT prematurely to deal 16,000 damage to the TNT Cannon! The CSI Cyber Squad fails to get anywhere with their investigation, as it’s quite hard to investigate when the body’s vanished. Both of them. They have their suspicions, but they can’t arrest her without the proof! The
The Soul of the Core gets ready to Retaliate due to a lack of orders!
The Poisoning of Agar.io causes it to split into eight…BUT that’s before the Poison damage actually activates, causing all eight of them to die, killing Agar.io! The Over-9000inator damages Cyberdwarf for 10,000 damage! Doge gets ready to jump in and take over for the Balloon Whelp if it kicks it! The Captain is about to do something…And then suddenly gets a bolt of intuition and does a massive leap, preventing any attack aimed at him from working, as well as any AoE, as he’s currently in the stratosphere! He leaves a note: “I’ll be back shorty!” The Ender Crystals heal the Dragon’s Nests damage, while it produces two more Enderman Packs. Crocidibli slaps Mibibli for 4,000 damage!
The Essence of the Destroyed attacks Hoopz, but Hoopz is way too used to horror videogames to get spooped by him! Doggy continues lasering down Cyberdwarf for 7,500 damage, focusing more! Lord Calzerb follows up for the kill on Cyberdwarf! One down, two to go, at least…The Protettores shuffle off to defend IMET! The Balloon Drake breathes some new life into its lesser cousin, losing 5% Inflation but giving +20% Inflation to the Lesser Balloon Whelp! The combine Hunter-Chopper shoots at Hoopz for 4,000 damage! The Zerglings receive their upgrade from the Spawning Pool and finally get to show off, and rip and tear into Balthios for 7,500 damage! The Hatcheries are fully functional, and because they produce 3 Larvae per turn, produce twelve instantly! The TNT cannon has max coolness, ripe for use…IMET accepts Protettore defense readily! Cerberus uses Disruption on Balthios, who survives without being Confused but still takes 12,000 damage! Pilcrow uses Waiting on Hoopz, dealing 7,000 damage and healing Pilcrow for that much! The Maxis E344 manages to prove it’s got better aim than Hoopz by dealing 5,000 damage to him! The Shadow Magician uses Shadow Blast on Balthios, dealing 22,000 damage and losing 2 Shadow MP (while regening 3 for a net gain of 1), while the Elite Swordsmaster uses Triple Stab on him for an extra 10,000 damage! The Pink Horrors use Bolt of Change, which warps Balthios’es form nigh-beyond recognition before ultimately warping it right back to the beginning, dealing 25,000 damage!
Valeera gains 1 Mana (giving her two total-this isn’t an error, it’s correcting one) Draws Deadly Poison, and uses her Mana to plop down a Goblin Auto-Barber! The Uncreativity Monster uncreatively attacks hoopz for an uncreative 5,000 damage! Neo Ultima destroys a Ender Crystal! Storm uses Storm-Thernody on Hoopz to deal 20,000 damage! Stone heals Doggy for 20,000 HP!
The PZs have no eyes for any entity except two: The Lesser balloon Whelp and Doge. Quite simply put, due to their Minicrit boost, the Lesser Ballon Whelp is quickly eviscerated, and Uzi merrily cherry-taps Doge while he has to respawn next turn. Then, Charles Barkley steps up, his balls glowing with a wicked light…It’s quite obvious he’s not going to use his Double-Action this turn.
It’s quite obvious he won’t need to act twice this turn. A fully-opened Hoop and his relatively weaker special fully charged? It’s like a dream. He takes one of his actions just admiring this. Richard moves to stop him, realizing the danger, but UserZero separates him from Barkley with a wall of lead from her dual Uzis!
I’m going to just put a stop to the update to briefly address you in 100% OOC mode. What’s going to happen will inevitably get people angry at me, because, basically, it’s a field wipe. But, you know what? I pretty much warned you in every way feasible as to the effects of that hoop and given their attacks last round, I expected some form of 'Oh, wow, this is actually going to be painful, we should really get more entities on the case here, tanky ones." apparently you didn't realize that at all, and of course, this was the round where Barkley gets his charged attack. I will admit this was some bad balancing on my end, and this mechanic is NEVER getting re-used because it invokes a certain mental dilemma too strongly, but at the same time, I quote Piono: "I'm sorry, it's just that you guys seem to switch between being ridiculously astute and clever strategic masterminds that are able to grind my challenges into dust and clueless dorks who can't figure out what's going on at the drop of a hat."
I'm not being completely merciless here, but this should tell you what happens whenever you make too many mistakes in a Gatekeeper fight in the future, so let's count this as a learning experience on all sides. Back to the update...
Barkley’s grin goes mad as he executes Verboten Jam! It’s absolutely forbidden techniques is ironically the weakest of all of the forbidden B-Ball abilities, but this doesn’t make it any less deadly-nothing has ever survived the usage of a Verboten Jam against it. Of course, it is the weakest because it is the least targeting of them all-every technique beyond it has increasing levels of explosive potency. The Verboten Jam is barely considered efficient in most circles. Of course, this is irrelevant: Barkley has direct access to the one thing that would circumnavigate this weakness and make the Verboten Jam as strong as the Chaos Dunk-the damage spreading Basketball hoop, undefended in its entirety. One of the most awesome slam dunks known to basketball occurs, and the Hoop glows ominously…And very , very brightly.
Godmodder477: Uh-oh.
Godmodder477: TAKE COVER!!!
Nigh-infinite amounts of B-Ball power flow Into the court, and from the result, Nigh-infinite amounts of B-Ball power pulse out of it. IT does not deal damage, as that implicits survival of anything caught in its path. The more recent summons are fortunate and manage to hide behind their invincible summoners just in time to survive the onslaught. When the smoke clears...It’s a massacre.
Eredar Lord Jaraxxus, the Mighty Beast, the Spirit of Motherwill MK 2 and the Revelation Teams/Squads, The Over-9000inator, the Fortress and all of its soldiers, the Ender Crystals, the Dragon’s Nest, the Essence of the Destroyed, doggy, Lord Calzerb, the Protettores, the Balloon Drake, the Combine Hunter-Chopper, all the Zerg Forces, the TNT Cannon, Cerberus, IMET, Pilcrow, Maxis E344, the Shadow Magician, all the Pink Horrors (though they split into Blue Horrors) and the Blue Horror (not counting his new 38 brethren) and the Elite Swordsman, have all horrifically died from the resulting nigh-on nuke of Basketball Energies frying them alive from the inside out until they were nothing but dust. The only survivor that took the attack to the face was the Soul of the Core, immune to one-shotting as a boss, and he STILL took 40,000 damage to every head and his body as well! Angered by this, he quickly counter-attacks Barkley, slipping through all the defense to give him some REAL hate in the form of two heads breathing fire on him! Barkley takes no status effects but does take 30,000 damage!
Richard promptly goes berserk from suddenly losing more than half of his team, and the Captain crashes back down with a very audible thud, too late to do anything. Richard is already tearing into random PZ entities furiously at this point, however, and the Captain just wisely stands back as Richard kills the Cookie Slime Blob and deals 31,000 damage to Hoopz, blindly swinging the Banhammer everywhere for this ridiculously frustrating loss, and then +2s every AZ player. UserZero, in turn, +2s every PZ player, a long laughter since the superattack went down dying a little bit.
The Basketball hoop looks rather damaged…It’s repairing itself, but the intensity of the dunk seems to have done a number on it. It might take a while for its damage-spreading properties to come back, which is a relief...But it won't take long.
Terrain: Creep (+5% Evasion to Zerg units; fades if a Hatchery isn't built.)
Weather: Crimson Smog (Fear effect and 8,000 damage to random entity per turn): [|||||]
[???] Basketball Hoop: Invulnerable, kind of. Does damage to all Non-PZ entities when things are thrown into it. Guarded by: N/A Repairs: [||]
[N] World's Most Beautiful Thing: 1/1 HP. Cannot be attacked. Whoever AoE kills it gets mobbed for a turn by everything until the perputratior is dead. Barkley's dunks are exceptions.
[N] Wizard of Yendor: 122,000/122,000 HP. Summon Nasties: [|||] Aggrivate Monsters: [|||] Double-Trouble: [|||||]
[N] SWAT Team: 10,000/10,000 HP x3. Defends the CSI Cyber Investigation Team and Cyber Portal.
[N] CSI Cyber Portal: 20,000 HP. summons a SWAT team each turn.
[N] CSI Cyber Investigation Team. Can possibly find evidence. Arrest Warrent: [||||||||||]
[N-BOSS] Soul of the Core: Heads: 38,900/100,000 HP x2; 35,900/100,000 HP x1; +3 shields (defend against 1 entity hit each); +2 Endermites (defend against 1 Player hit each); Body: 1,500,000/1,455,800 HP. Body has high defense. Body occasionally sucks in attacks not aimed at it. Triple-Action while all heads are alive; double action if two are alive. Inflicts Gravcrush on all entities it attacks/is attacked by. Wildfire Waltz: [|||] Gravity Falls: [||||] Terminus: [|||||] Takes reduced damage from Player actions while atomicAmiable is active; Takes reduced damage from Entity actions while antimatterAugry is active. Only has Double-Action this turn!
[GS] Doge: 0/5,000 HP (does not attack unless an entity on its team is attacked first, will bodyguard for allies, respawns 1 round after death if there are still allied entities present). Will Guard the Hoop if any Defenders die.
[GS] The Captain: 16/20 HP.
[GS] Crocidibli: 92,000/95,000. Targets Mibibli nigh-exclusively until death. Won't die unless Death Conditions are met. Levitator Enforcer: [||||]
[AZ] Blue Horrors: 5,000/5,000 x38.. Attack individually, but have REALLY low accuracy. Each Pink Horror (or two Blue Horrors) add a charge to Bolt of Change. Bolt of Change: [||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||][||||||||||] (This is one charge, just split into units of 10 for easy measure.)
[AZ] Valeera: 200,000/200,000 HP. Mana: 2/10. Gains +1 Mana at the end of each turn. HAND: (3) Shattered Sun Cleric, (3) Fan of Knives, (5) Assassin's Dagger, (2) Deadly Poison. Sleuthhack: [||||]
[AZ] Goblin Auto-Barber: 10,000,10,000 HP. +2K attack to weapons Valeera has.
[AZ] Uncreativity Monster: 80,000/67,500 HP. Decays by 10K HP until at max HP value. Gains HP with Uncreative attacks aimed at it.
[AZ] Neo Ultima: 75,000/75,000 HP.
[AZ] Storm: 215,000 HP. May change weather to Thunderstorm. Unaffected by Weather. Breath of the Void: [|||]
[AZ] Stone: 215,000 HP. Summons a Clay Man every turn to defend it. Taste of the Garden: [|||]
[PZ] King Bob-Omb: 150,000/150,000 HP. The Final Countdown: [||||]
[PZ] Heavy Fists Guy who Just Ate Chocolate: 77,500/125,000 HP. Can only attack in retaliation! Guarding the King Bob-Omb. Poisoned: [||]
[PZ] Mibibli: 11,500/20,000 (x4). Targets Crocidibli nigh-exclusively until death. Won't die unless Death Conditions are met. The Mibible: [||||||||]
[PZ] Hatred of Formatting: 125,000/125,000 HP. More likely to dodge if an attack has formatting.
[PZ] Abnormally Large Voidtouched Chicken: 250,000/200,000 HP. Has a Bad aim.
[PZ] Walker: 14/20 HP. Respawns 1 Round after death.
[PZ] Hoopz Barkley: 77,000/185,00 HP. Evasive. Full Brast: [|||]
[PZ] Balthios James: 97,500/190,000 HP. Can inflict various status effects. LeBron Legacy: [|||]
[-GATEKEEPER-][PZ-BOSS] Charles Barkley: 325,000/400,000 HP. While alive, all PZs minicrit! Double-Action. If he successfully scores a goal on the Basketball Hoop, deals his damage to all non-PZ entities! Verboten Jam: [||] Chaos Dunk: [||||||||||]
[AZ-γ] Godmodder477: 40/50 HP.
[GM] UserZero: 138/150 HP. Behind the Barrier-invulnerable.
Distance to Yggdrasil: 4500. Locked until the Gatekeeper is slain!
The Armory (in the spoilers)
[||||] The Power Cleaner: INACTIVE. Owner: Bomber57 [AZ]
Whats with the auto-null of everything until the EOTB is done?
/null
/null
Posts may contain high amounts of stupid.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!
Urge... to post... rising... but it'll be null if I don't wait!
</nullpost>
An alternate timeline emerges.
However, we must first start from the beginning...
Well Tazz, real life should always come first. And I totally agree with your sentiment on pre-Eotb posts, it's like "Dangit, I can't post now and gotta come back later in the hope it will be finished!".
/null
Check out my bad CTM map reviews here.
WHAT? YOU FOO- oh wait, the EoTB's not done. I guess it's nulled. Phew.
C'mon Tazz, you even wiped the passive that kept it from being brainwashed? Ya know, the one where I said it'd attack my latest attack with formatting?
/null
Oh, hey, look, I nulled an auto-null post.
Please check out my PvP map based around explosions and fire, FireFight!
Sometimes, I wonder why they call mapmakers mapmakers and not cartographers.
Dragons n' Stuff
Please click!
End of Round seems to be mostly done. Either Tazz forgot to remove it or he is not finished with the monsters's stat adjustments. Even if its nulled, i can still drop Antimatter in the hoop in the next post.
i like being the fool that screws everyone over for the lulz
Posts may contain high amounts of stupid.
. And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll DO it. And then you'll lose to me again. And again. And again!!! Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends." Because you "never give up." Isn't that delicious? Your "determination." The power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall!