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Destroy the Simumodder, Fried Chicken

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pionoplayer	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:38 PM Quote
Weaver of Fates Group: Admin Posts: 2622 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: 25 Location: Where ever there is chaos to be created Status: N/A	Welcome to Destroy the Simumodder! A game made because I keep feeling sick and not really up to doing my other stuff. It is now currently run by jondanger thanks to me going off to take my ideas to the session I really wanted to make: Destroy the Godmodder: Renewal DESTROY THE SIMUMODDER How To Play Welcome to Destroy the Simumodder. This is a game about, well, destroying the Simumodder. If you want to play, I would recommend reading through the rules. If the rules don't make sense, these three things are the main stuffs you have to follow: 1. Listen to the GM. This is rule 0 in general, if I say you're doing something wrong, you've done something wrong, so try not to do it again. 2. Be nice and keep things sfw. That includes not swearing, f-bombs will outright leave me unable to quote your posts and render them null. 3. If you can't make sense of the rules, your faction is best set as AS, your goal is to defeat the Simumodder. Do that by targeting them and the various entities labeled [PS] in the battlefield status. Basically any form of attack will work, from a one sentence "I stab it with a pufferfish then slap him silly with a dead rubber rat" to a short essay on time travel and its various applications towards killing people. The way you play is by making posts, there'd be a nifty diagram here if I felt like it, but basically you put up to three things in your posts. First and more importantly, actions. These come in standard and free form. Standard action is how you damage/heal things or apply other effects. Splitting this action will make it less effective, so try to keep it focused on doing one thing. Charge counts (rules on charging listed in the Rules). This is a cheap and easy way to buff the power of an action. When you unleash a charge, it procs on its own, effectively giving you an extra action to summon/change the weather/kill something/whatever you do with the charge. Entity orders: If you have an entity on the field that's yours, you can give it orders. Story: There is none! Anything that comes back from the past will be directly mentioned and explained, and will be more akin to a call back or brick joke than any kind of real continuity. This is all just meant to be silly fun in DTG-style. I think that about covers it for right now. Let me know if you're still confused about something essential. Intro LOADING BATTLEFIELD PROTOCOLS... LOADING... LOADING... RESOURCES FOUND. BEGINNING SIMULATION. LOCATING DESCENDANTS... ERROR: DESCENDANTS CURRENTLY OCCUPIED UPLOAD DUPLICATES? >Y PERSONALITY UPLOAD IN PROGRESS... UPLOAD COMPLETE. ENGAGE MEMORY WIPE PROTOCOL? >N MEMORIES WILL BE RETAINED. BEGIN WAR? >Y You all find yourselves floating in a green wireframe ether, and watch slowly as the beginnings of a Minecraft server slowly fill in, revealing a large, peaceful area. A voice chimes in your heads as you land softly on the ground. "WELCOME DESCENDANTS." "APOLOGIES FOR THE ABDUCTION, BUT REST ASSURED, YOU ARE CURRENTLY STILL IN YOUR ORIGINAL LOCATIONS." "YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HERE FOR A COMBAT SIMULATION WITH THE INTENT OF LEARNING HOW TO BETTER COMBAT HOSTILE GODMODDERS." "YOUR COOPERATION WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED." "YOUR ABILITIES HAVE BEEN REPLICATED AS PERFECTLY AS POSSIBLE, AS HAS THE WORLD AROUND YOU." "YOUR GOAL IS SIMPLE. DESTROY THE SIMULATED GODMODDER IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE." "DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE DANGER OR "LIVES" OF THE ENTITIES HERE." "THEY ARE ALL PART OF THE CENTRAL COMPUTER PROGRAM AND ARE NOT ACTUALLY AWARE." In front of you, a wireframe entity resembling a familiar figure comes together. The Simumodder has been created. "BEGIN" Rules Rules are fairly standard for a DTG game. General: Because apparently humans are dumb enough that there needs to be specific rules about how you post. 1. To win you must destroy the Simumodder. Or, at least, get far enough that the program deems that you've given them enough information. 2. The Simumodder will, as always, block more attacks, with more creative ones having a better chance of success. 3. Don't expect attacks that land on the Simumodder to work twice. I mean, the chance is still there, given Alpha took damage from being landed on by wrecked spaceships four times in one war, but you shouldn't count on it. 4. Everyone gets 2 posts per round. Updates come when I don't have more pressing work. This might wind up being anywhere from once a day (or more right at the start) to like once a month (although hopefully it won't get THAT bad) 5. Double posts will get the latter post invalidated. 6. Editing your posts is okay, with exception of "retroactive edits". Which is a silly name, but what it means is basically you can't use editing to play "Mary Tzu". You're not allowed to use edits to counter posts made after that one. 7. The rules can change... basically whenever. Keep watch for announcements, they'll always be announced in-thread when rule changes are coming. 8. At the top of the World Update, you will find the Itinerary. It's AS only, it's generally assumed that anyone playing a non-standard faction pays enough attention to the game to know what to do on their own. Charges: Because charging confuses EVERYONE at some point or another. 1. You can make charges. They'll make attacks, summons, effects, what-have-you more effective. 2. The cap is currently 30, and started at 10. 3. You get two charges at once, and neither interferes with your standard action. 4. Charges go up one at a time. violating this rule will get your charge nulled, I don't have time to go back and find the proper values. And no, you can't double up the charges to increase charging speed. 5. Every post you get two +1s that can be given to OTHER players. Each +1 will up that charge by 1. As the name states. You cannot +1 yourself, stop trying. 6. Charges provide little to no hit bonus against the Simumodder. 7. You are allowed to hold your own charges once they complete, but to do so you have to hold them in the charge slot. That means you will get 1 less point of charge coming naturally for every charge you are holding. 8. People CAN combine charges with one another, however, no single player entity can hold more charge than equivalent to 5 players dropping a max-sized charge (this include dropping upgrades.). Exceptions can be made, but you must discuss it with the GM first. (as a request guys, please don't spam group entities anyways, I'd rather hold back on group projects for a while) 8a. People cannot combine charges with more of their own. That means that in order to have a multiple-charge drop, multiple players must be involved. If you wish to combine 3 charges, you must have 3 players. etc. Entities: I think we all know what these are, but whatever. 1. You can summon entities. Unlike in a normal game, they aren't actually being pulled from outside, rather, the simulation is making a simulation of that entity pulled from your mind and what you want it to be. 2. Entities that have already been summoned in this thread aren't allowed (unless plot somehow happens I guess). I won't penalize you for summoning things that were summoned in other games, but still please try to be creative and at the very least switch up the stats. 3. You can summon entities instantly. You will almost invariably regret doing so, but you can. 4. The more Pro-Simumodder entities there are on the field, the harder it will be to hit the bugger. Also, having a crippling disadvantage will start to carry... other problems with it. Don't let your entities die off completely. 5. Entities only act in the End of Turn Battle 6. Entity health is equivalent to (3000x + 5000) where x is equal to the amount of charge expended. 6a. Entity damage is (500x) with x being the same as above. 6b. Because there's exceptions to everything, instant-summons fill in that gap. Instant summons will always either be stronger than they should be, or weaker than they should be (instantly dead is pretty weak, right?) 7. Why are entities relevant: Because entity advantage. At the top of the world update, entity advantage will be listed, it can be any of the following: Heavy PS Advantage: Hopefully rare, only happens if you guys have effectively no entities fielded at all. If you guys let this happen... bad things. Maybe vulnerability, maybe not. PS Advantage: While here or in the above "setting" the Simumodder cannot be attacked. Field entities and destroy enemies to fix this. AS Advantage: The "default" setting of the game. Simumodder is properly targetable, and you guys areen't. Heavy AS Advantage: You guys are somehow completely ravaging the Simumodder's forces. While the "setting" is at this, not only is the Simumodder targetable, but you all will have the ability to order your entities to perform an "Alpha Strike" which will deal direct damage to the Simumodder, albeit at the cost of giving the Simumodder greatly increased power for that round. Bosses and Elites: Wait why isn't this part of the Entities rules Bosses and Elites are particularly powerful entities. Elites can be summoned by players (Although only with great difficulty) bosses will generally only show up via special events. All bosses drop spoils upon death, and killing PS ones will damage the Simumodder. Bosses will also give an XP bonus and a special Spoil of War upon dying. Both Elites and Bosses are bolded in the World Update, and general get special bonuses, such as small stat boosts, resistance or outright immunity to certain status effects, and special protections against being nuked. Alignments: This should probably be higher, but for the life of me I can't figure out WHERE. 1. Players can be AS, N, or if they really want to for some unfathomable reason, be PS. You cannot start out PS, and if you don't specify upon entry you will be marked as AS. 2. If you want to change your alignment as a player, you must preform a DRAMATIC BETRAYAL™ before you can do so. 3. In addition to the regular alignments, entities can also be ??? or H. ??? Can only be summoned with GM permission beforehand, and both get a small bonus because of their downsides. Players cannot choose this (IT WAS A TYPO CONSUMER GOSH DANGIT) 4. Finally, the BOSS and ELITE tags will usually be appended to an entity's faction if it is one, or is part of one. 5. Not actually related to alignments, but any non-NPC entities will have their owner's name listed in their alignment tag, to help make things easier. [AS]: Anti-Simumodder. The base alignment, wants to complete the simulation properly [N]: Neutral. For some reason you're going off the rails and doing something else. Which is kinda dumb because you're not going to accomplish anything. [PS]: Pro-Simumodder. Even more off-task than the Neutrals, but whatever. [H]: Hostile. Very unlikely to follow commands. Will sometimes have semi-ordered ideas, but those will be the ones that came with the stats if such is the case. [???]: Unknown. Extremely rare, and usually undecided. But whatever the case is, they are an unknown force on the battlefield, and usually entail incoming plot-crap or at least events. [A]: Artifact. These are items, and as such have no loyalties except for being used by whoever wields them. [ELITE]: Elite. A modifier tag, a large entity, but not big enough to dominate the field. [BOSS]: Boss. A modifier tag, usually only summoned by the Simu-modder or special events. Tend to wreck everything while alive. Drop a Spoil to one of the most instrumental players in killing it upon death. Special gimmicks: Small stuff that doesn't require a full section. Artifacts: In addition to entities, you are capable of summoning artifacts, which can be equipped by players OR entities. While equipped by a player, that player's health bar will be shown, and upon being killed the artifact will be dropped. Players can use artifacts more effectively than entities most of the time however. Player Vulnerability: Players are, in fact, attackable, just only under specific circumstances. You can initiate PvP, the loser of which dies, certain enemy abilities will inflict vulnerability, using an artifact or upgrading yourself will render you vulnerable, and if your faction is doing badly enough entity-wise you will be directly targetable. Death is simple, you lose your standard action for one round, during which you have to spend any posts you make "respawning". Charges remain unaffected by death, aren't I nice? Default player health is 20, with an "equivalent" value, damage dealt to players rounds to the nearest equivalent value. For basically everyone the equivalent value is 3000, although a small handful of particularly powerful upgrades (you'd need a LOT of charge to get to even 4000) can be undergone. Checking: You can check an entity to get their stats, this is a free action, although sometimes certain parts of an entity's statblock will be obscured and either be unscannable without a charge of some kind, or require multiple scannings to get to. As a note, having covert stats on your entity will weaken it somewhat. Hard to scan stat portions are even more expensive. Terrain and Weather: Special effects can be applied to the terrain and weather. These will have universal effects until they are changed again. Airborne, Melee, and Range: Some entities can be labeled as "Airborne", which both renders them immune to terrain and untargetable by some ground units. Because of this, some entities are Melee or Ranged, simply put, melee units can only target others of their "air" type. Ground melees can only attack ground, ground airs can only attack other airborne entities. Ranged entities can attack everything. Entities default to Melee status, but can take Ranged for slight stat debuffs. Dodge and armor: Pretty simple. Dodge gives a dodge chance against enemy attacks. Dodge negation will negate dodge. Armor negates a certain amount of damage from every incoming attack. Armor pierce will negate a certain amount of armor when going in. Negative dodge will grant attacking enemies natural minicrit chances, negative armor will grant increased damage to attackers. Horde entities: Sometimes entities will come in large numbers instead of one very large entity of roughly the same strength. Because they have their attack go down as they lose members, they generally get stat boosts. Additionally, any ability that targets multiple entities can choose to select a horde multiple times (up to the number of individual members in that horde). "Target everything" effects can still only target hordes once. SMASHes A SMASH is an attack that seriously impresses me, either in terms of sheer cleverness, the amount of effort put into it, or is otherwise just that creative, to the extent that I decide to push your damage values above the standard cap. They are usually devastating (Bfury's first one took down a third of charge man in one go.) BUT there is a Curse of Anti-Smash Spam. People who spam large and flashy attacks to try and achieve SMASH status will find their SMASHes being less and less powerful, even being downgraded back to a regular attack. Countering: actions made specifically to counter other people's actions carry a penalty with them. Not only is your action not guarenteed to block it all the way, but it 1. prevents you from doing ANYTHING else with that post (aside from charge management of coursE) and 2. nets you 0 action XP. Only counter people's actions if you REALLY feel you have to. Status Effects: These exist. They are defined in the following spoiler: Spoiler Alert Status effect types: Quick primer, there's a couple of "categories" that define what certain entities are immune to. Stuns: Effects that completely negate the action or abilities of an entity. Elites, Players and Bosses are all immune to these, without exception. Common: Basic effects like burning or whatnot. If an entity has status effect immunity, it is immune to these. Players automatically have common status effect immunity. Advanced: Special effects that are usually specific to a particular boss or entity. Can be very strong, but will most likely not totally negate actions. Being immune to these is impossible, although advanced status effect resistance is possible. Panic: Gives target a 50% chance to hit allies when using an attack. Taking damage will remove this effect. Stun type. Confusion: Causes the target to attack itself or its allies on its round instead of enemies. Stun type. Flesh Interface: prevents entity from acting, and allows other entities to use its special abilities in its stead. Each ability can only be claimed once per round. Stun type. Burning: Deals 2500 damage every round it is active. Common type. Poison: Deals 2000 damage every round and prevents natural regen while active. Common type. Bleeding: Deals 3% of an enemy's max health every round. Common type Virus: Deals 2000 damage every round it is active. Has a chance to spread to allies or targets of abilities. Common type High: Decreases dodge chance by 10%. Common type. Chilled: Descreases dodge ignore by 20% Crying: Decreases dodge ignore by 25%. Common type. Drowsy: Decreases dodge chance and dodge ignorance by 10% each. Common type. Enraged: Decreases accuracy by 50%, gives automatic minicrits. Common type. Caffeinated: increases dodge chance by 15%. Common type. Dazed: Halves outgoing damage. Common type. Cursed: Target takes minicrits from all incoming attacks. Common type Blessed: Target deals automatic minicrits. Common type. Grounded: Negates the airborne passive while still in effect. Common type Accelerate: Other status effects proc twice at the end of round, losing two duration AND dealing/restoring damage twice. Common type. Hacked: Prevents charged abilities from incrementing or being used while in effect. Common type. Wide Awake: grants entity 15% dodge chance and dodge ignorance. Removes and prevents all "sleepy" type debuffs for the duration. Advanced type. Infested: only affects artifacts. Causes the artifact to lose 10% durability every time it is used. Advanced type. Ratiation: does not tick down naturally. Upon obtaining 7 stacks of Ratiation, afflicted entity will turn into a Rat, changing sides to fit with the most ratty alignment at the time. Advanced type. Armory Welcome to the Armory! All spoils, their effects and owners are listed here. The Ham Knife: The Terror Pig's Spoil. Claimed by Tricklejest. Owned by Irecreeper. Has a 5 round cooldown. Upon use, summons 7 Terrifying Porkchops, which have 3000 health, 500 attack, and will restore 3000 health to entities that kill one (only friendlies this time around.) Friendly entities deal double damage to the porkchops. The Golden Fleece: Terror Sheep's Spoil. Claimed by Tricklejest. Owned by 1412. Has a 7 round cooldown. Upon use grants 3 rounds of 3 AC to a single entity. Chalice of Blood: Vengeful God Incarnate's Spoil. Claimed by Emerald_Mann. Has a 5 round cooldown. Upon use, deals heavy damage to a single allied entity, and then restores three times that amount of health to a different allied entity. Rapture Prism: Vengeful Night's Spoil. Claimed by JOEbob. Has 3 uses, upon use fills the area with a cleansing, burning fire, dealing heavy damage to everything but the wielder and the wielder's chosen allies. Original Battlefield Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 100/100 Convenient Shrubbery x10 [PS]: Hp: 2000/2000 Inconvenient Tree [PS]: Hp: 10000/10000 Confused Zombie [PS]: Hp: 5000/5000 BEGIN THE SIMULATION Originally posted on 2016-12-20 22:18:00 -------------------- Once upon a time there was a story...
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TwinBuilder	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
An Ephemeral Emerald Group: Members Posts: 240 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: 22 Location: New York, Fiction. Status: N/A	most epic fart ever Originally posted on 2016-12-20 22:23:00
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Jondanger23	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
some guy Group: Members Posts: 879 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: N/A Status: N/A	I summon Saxton Hale! He eats some shrubbery. Originally posted on 2016-12-20 22:37:00 -------------------- [small]small[/small] [big]big[/big]
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Eris	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
[/color]/b] Group: Members Posts: 2013 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: Bullet Hell Status: N/A	In space, one can see a lot of things. One of those things might be a roll of wrapping paper. Perhaps a ruler, or a wine glass. Infinite improbability could cause any number of things to will themselves into existence at will and the Heart of Gold has caused an immense amount of temporal and spatial issues as a result of this. Luckily, this attack has nothing to do with infinite improbability, the Infinite Improbability Drive or the Heart of Gold, since a lot of people don't seem to like that for whatever reason. Instead, this attack is going to be about a roll of wrapping paper, a ruler and a wine glass. You see, this wine glass has been friends with a roll of wrapping paper and a ruler for an incredibly long time. Perhaps even since they were a tree, another tree, and sand (respectively). If they had any ability to move on their whatsoever, then they would have shared their perceived childhood together, frolicking across my table, as I have found them now. Although, as they matured, they found that their tastes began to differ. Or at least, they would have, if they were sentient. The wine glass probably would have leaned towards more artistic pursuits, while the ruler would probably pursue something more scientific, and the wrapping paper would be enamoured by the idea of being a war hero. Unfortunately, this caused them to drift apart. Their departure from each other would have been teary-eyed, as they were picked up one by one from a newsagent to go their separate ways. Eventually, one collector of fine rulers would have come across this one at the back of a secondhand shop. He would have seen something special in it and taken it home. Here, the two may have discussed their worries with each other, assuming that the collector wasn't insane and that the ruler was not only sentient, but could talk. The ruler would have told him about his friends that it missed so, and the collector would have told it about the lack of community that he shared. He then came up with a plan. He would reunite the ruler with his friends, then perhaps they would let him be their friends too. So, they would have went on a trip around the world, asking everyone if they had seen the wrapping paper and wine glass. After years and years of searching, they finally found the wine glass and the wrapping paper. The former was probably comforting the latter, as the latter would have taken many a bullet in the war against Christmas. It's on its last legs now. Poor ~~guy~~ thing. Upon seeing this, the collector had an epiphany (probably). It's not about finding friends, it's about what he learnt on the way (most likely). He took them home, were they would forever be together (I think). Maybe I'm just reading too far into the objects on my dining table. Anyhow, somehow, the story of a friendship separated, then brought back together, summons a Teary-eyed Observer to the field, which has stats. 10 1/10 3 1/3 +1 to comusner, +1 to battlefurby Originally posted on 2016-12-20 22:40:00
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Battlefury	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
Archangel Micheal Group: Members Posts: 1300 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: New Winchester Status: N/A	I /kick the godmodder'a HP bar Originally posted on 2016-12-20 22:42:00 -------------------- he he
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ConsumerOfAll	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
GLORIOUS LEADER Group: Members Posts: 1202 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: N/A Status: N/A	A blonde girl comes out of the portal, dressed in very, very, casual clothing. She walks over to the Simumodder, before kicking a shrub and dealing 0 damage, as that is not my target and missing my attacks is bad, out of some form of anger, of some sort of annoyance everpresent. "Oh no", everybody says, "Pobyo allowed Consomme to use a non-godmodder Alicia and you shouldn't mix characters from games that you GM into games that you don't GM, as the Great Metaphysical said in a time long past that we don't think we're actually allowed to mention." The blonde girl, Alicia, suddenly has a railgun raised to her face for presuming that she's actually important. She calmly takes the railgun, trademarked by Johannes Valencia, which she pays very careful attention to as that is obviously a piece of foreshadowing despite there being no plot to foreshadow. As there is no plot to foreshadow, the railgun suddenly turns into a dark, dark void of plot and paradoxes, chains wrapping themselves around chains wrapping themselves around chains wrapping themselves around a tetrahedron. She throws it at the Simumodder, and a snarl, a beast great and big reaches out towards it. Plot snarl had a big effect on worlds past, and as such it must most obviously have a big effect on the simulation, because nobody would have thought to prevent cancerous plot in the reboot. As such, the Simumodder is struck by a great and nigh infinite force, one cruel, one all consuming. "Godmod that!" Alicia said, self assured about absolutely nothing. NaCl [1/5] The Mayor Is [1/10] Originally posted on 2016-12-20 22:53:00 -------------------- questo mondo non cambia, nemmeno se vuoi questa gente che parla, che parla di noi per tutta questa rabbia, per questi sogni in gabbia se sto vivendo un dramma, sarà il mio momento prima o poi, prima o poi
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Sp33d0n	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
The Eternal Author Group: Members Posts: 736 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: The Castle on the Back of a Space Dragon Status: N/A	The Author enters the Simulation. Obviously. This should be good practice for when a real war happens. Auth draws Inkscalibur, and points it at the Simumodder. Los geht's! Auth swings at The Simumodder, firing an arc of ink at him. Then he warps behind him, kicking him into the Arc. After the collision, Auth warps on top of the Simumodder, and plunges Inkscalibur into his head. Auth noticed Alicia do the Railgun thingy maybe... 20 seconds prior. Hey! That was pretty cool there, miss! SPECIAL ATTACKS: CRUSADE OF THE LOST: 1/10 SEEKERS OF THE NAME: 1/10 +2 to Consumer. Originally posted on 2016-12-20 22:55:00 -------------------- They say that there's no rest for the wicked, until they close their eyes for good. As someone wicked, fundamentally, I disagree. One may always repent. I may have done terrible things in the past. That's why I help this coward now.
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pionoplayer

Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM

Quote

Weaver of Fates

Group: Admin

Posts: 2622

Joined: 11-August 18

Age: 25
Location: Where ever there is chaos to be created
Status: N/A

QUOTE (TwinBuilder @ (time=1482272635))

*most epic fart* *ever*

You fart!
This... uh, does nothing because none of the entities on the field right now need to breath.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1482273470))

I summon Saxton Hale! He eats some shrubbery.

Saxton Hale! summoned. He will eat some shrubbery.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Toast @ (time=1482273609))

hacker voice
"I'm in."

Your seemingly completely unrelated line confuses the zombie even more giving it the confused debuff for 1 round!
+3000 XP (1000 added for applying the debuff)

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1482273749))

I /kick the godmodder'a HP bar

godmodder? I see no godmodders here, just a simumodder.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (ConsumerOfAll @ (time=1482274402))

A blonde girl comes out of the portal, dressed in very, very, casual clothing. She walks over to the Simumodder, before kicking a shrub and dealing 0 damage, as that is not my target and missing my attacks is bad, out of some form of anger, of some sort of annoyance everpresent.

"Oh no", everybody says, "Pobyo allowed Consomme to use a non-godmodder Alicia and you shouldn't mix characters from games that you GM into games that you don't GM, as the Great Metaphysical said in a time long past that we don't think we're actually allowed to mention."

The blonde girl, Alicia, suddenly has a railgun raised to her face for presuming that she's actually important. She calmly takes the railgun, trademarked by Johannes Valencia, which she pays very careful attention to as that is obviously a piece of foreshadowing despite there being no plot to foreshadow. As there is no plot to foreshadow, the railgun suddenly turns into a dark, dark void of plot and paradoxes, chains wrapping themselves around chains wrapping themselves around chains wrapping themselves around a tetrahedron. She throws it at the Simumodder, and a snarl, a beast great and big reaches out towards it.

Plot snarl had a big effect on worlds past, and as such it must most obviously have a big effect on the simulation, because nobody would have thought to prevent cancerous plot in the reboot. As such, the Simumodder is struck by a great and nigh infinite force, one cruel, one all consuming.

"Godmod that!" Alicia said, self assured about absolutely nothing.

NaCl [1/5]
The Mayor Is [1/10]

He decides that he won't even godmod it... except to rub things in it still doesn't do damage! One of the convenient shrubberies conveniently gets in the way of the attack and dies, the rot spreading to the others and dealing 500 damage to 6 more shrubs.
+7000 XP

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1482274548))

The Author enters the Simulation. Obviously.

This should be good practice for when a real war happens.

Auth draws Inkscalibur, and points it at the Simumodder.

Los geht's!

Auth swings at The Simumodder, firing an arc of ink at him. Then he warps behind him, kicking him into the Arc. After the collision, Auth warps on top of the Simumodder, and plunges Inkscalibur into his head.

Auth noticed Alicia do the Railgun thingy maybe... 20 seconds prior.

Hey! That was pretty cool there, miss!

SPECIAL ATTACKS:

CRUSADE OF THE LOST: 1/10

SEEKERS OF THE NAME: 1/10

+2 to Consumer.

You attack the simumodder... only to crash into the Inconvenient Tree! You deal 4000 damage to it.
+6000 XP

EoTB:
The Confused Zombie is even more confused than normal, and in it's sheer stupor, deals 1000 damage to itself!
Saxton Hale! eats one of the damaged shrubberies. And immediately spits it out because VEGETABLES ARE FOR HIPPIES!
The Simumodder responds by painting Saxton Hale! like a hippy, and putting a mirror in front of him. Saxton Hale! then deals 7500 damage to himself in a blind rage before the paint comes off.

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 100/100
Convenient Shrubbery x3 [PS]: Hp: 2000/2000
Convenient Shrubbery x5 [PS]: Hp: 1500/2000
Inconvenient Tree [PS]: Hp: 6000/10000
Confused Zombie [PS]: Hp: 4000/5000
Saxton Hale! [AS]: Hp: 2500/10000

”Players”

Originally posted on 2016-12-21 00:58:00

--------------------

Once upon a time there was a story...

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Eris	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
[/color]/b] Group: Members Posts: 2013 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: Bullet Hell Status: N/A	(since my last post was quoted before it was finished) In space, one can see a lot of things. One of those things might be a roll of wrapping paper. Perhaps a ruler, or a wine glass. Infinite improbability could cause any number of things to will themselves into existence at will and the Heart of Gold has caused an immense amount of temporal and spatial issues as a result of this. Luckily, this attack has nothing to do with infinite improbability, the Infinite Improbability Drive or the Heart of Gold, since a lot of people don't seem to like that for whatever reason. Instead, this attack is going to be about a roll of wrapping paper, a ruler and a wine glass. You see, this wine glass has been friends with a roll of wrapping paper and a ruler for an incredibly long time. Perhaps even since they were a tree, another tree, and sand (respectively). If they had any ability to move on their whatsoever, then they would have shared their perceived childhood together, frolicking across my table, as I have found them now. Although, as they matured, they found that their tastes began to differ. Or at least, they would have, if they were sentient. The wine glass probably would have leaned towards more artistic pursuits, while the ruler would probably pursue something more scientific, and the wrapping paper would be enamoured by the idea of being a war hero. Unfortunately, this caused them to drift apart. Their departure from each other would have been teary-eyed, as they were picked up one by one from a newsagent to go their separate ways. Eventually, one collector of fine rulers would have come across this one at the back of a secondhand shop. He would have seen something special in it and taken it home. Here, the two may have discussed their worries with each other, assuming that the collector wasn't insane and that the ruler was not only sentient, but could talk. The ruler would have told him about his friends that it missed so, and the collector would have told it about the lack of community that he shared. He then came up with a plan. He would reunite the ruler with his friends, then perhaps they would let him be their friends too. So, they would have went on a trip around the world, asking everyone if they had seen the wrapping paper and wine glass. After years and years of searching, they finally found the wine glass and the wrapping paper. The former was probably comforting the latter, as the latter would have taken many a bullet in the war against Christmas. It's on its last legs now. Poor guy thing. Upon seeing this, the collector had an epiphany (probably). It's not about finding friends, it's about what he learnt on the way (most likely). He took them home, were they would forever be together (I think). Maybe I'm just reading too far into the objects on my dining table. Anyhow, somehow, the story of a friendship separated, then brought back together, summons a Teary-eyed Observer to the field, which has stats. 10 2/10 3 2/3 Originally posted on 2016-12-21 02:17:00
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Featherfall	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
Ancestor Group: Members Posts: 1155 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: N/A Status: N/A	I shove the Inconvenient Tree into a convenience store, creating an antimatter-like explosion due to the reaction. --Charges-- Tap Frek: 1/10 Frap Tek: 1/10 Originally posted on 2016-12-21 03:20:00 -------------------- This signature is a 3/3 green Elk creature with no abilities.
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JOEbob	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
Ancestor Group: Members Posts: 1777 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: N/A Status: N/A	i show up +2 trickle charges: Perceptual shift 1/10 PERCEPTUAL state 1/10 I walk up to the Simumodder, and pull out a wand, the tip glistening with amethyst light, before i swing my arm to the side, and a shockwave pushes him back, before i conjure a blade of mystical energy, which is much sharper then normal since its nearly as thin as an atom, making it definitely sharp enough to cut through any shield he creates, and i leap over, throwing a blade to him for FAIRNESS, and begin an intricate dance, slicing and ducking before he even swings, before the ethereal blade fades, and a kopesh style blade appears in my hand, blazing with light and fire, as i continue the battle, before i manage to catch his blade with the curve, and wrestle it away, before landing several hits on him, which burn at his skin, as i leap back and launch a firey blast shaped like a Phoenix,after which the blade vanishes and is replaced by a lightly glowing bow, which materializes an arrow as i pull back the string. Boots appear on my feet, and I suddenly dash forward, increases the momentum of the arrow as i release it, before i speed up again, keeping pace with the arrow, and pulling out a Pickaxe, which seems to hold a planet on the end of handle, glowing lightly, which i use to fight, displaying rather ridiculous proficiency, embedding it into his chest before pulling it out as i continue to dash past, turning around about 12 meters away and hurling it at him, it spinning quickly, hitting him before he can react, bouncing off, and being caught in my hand, before it is replaced with a hammer, platinum with cyan fabric (shaped like [¯¯] and the ¯ part is fabric, the hammer making a squeeking sound on impact. i strike quickly at him, before doing a downward blow and ending the combat. Originally posted on 2016-12-21 14:59:00
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TrickleJest	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
[b] [color=RED]Incompetent GM [/color] [/b] Group: Members Posts: 253 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: In Me Mom's Car (Dead memes for the win) Status: N/A	Trickle jumps out of a ten kilometer deep hole. At this point you know I dislike flashy introductions. Also, I know I said I'd use the thyme addicted maniac for all spin-offs, but this is sorta a test drive for the Reboot, so I'm gonna use the bumptious self-entitled "hero" instead. Yeah, I'm making Trickle an arrogant zero hero. Go figure. Anyways, since this person is actually somewhat sane and can understand what a relationship is, and doesn't actually want to kill everything, he decides to humbly introduce himself. Although this isn't much of an introduction, anyways. "Hey there! I'm... uh... Trickle?" "Sorry that I'm late to the party. I tend to do that a lot." "Fear not, though, I'm gonna beat... uh... destroy... or... erm... I'll save everyone! Yeah!" The Descendants freeze and stare at Trickle for a second before ignoring him and going back to what they were doing. Trickle looks at everyone with a face reminiscent of this, -.-. "Hey, come on! Not even a welcome?" Trickle grows mad of everyone and kicks the grass in a pre-teen "BLUH BLUH TIRED OF YOUR SHIT" manner. "Fine! I'll do everything by myself! Not that I'm not used to carrying the entire fucking team!" He glances at the Simumodder. "Say, do you need any help?" The Simumodder stares at Trickle idly. "Well, at least he's still looking at me!" "Mister, would you like me to join your team?" The Simumodder kicks Trickle in the groin and he flies back a few meters. "Wow! Rude! Guess I'll pick the team that's not AS rude as you! Uhhh, nobody appreciates me..." Trickle joins the [AS]! "Time to show this 'Simumodder' fella what I'm really made of!" "Hahahaha! You don't stand a chance against the Apostle of Heroism! The Duke of Excellence! The... uhhh... shut up! Don't question my skills at slam poetry!" "(Was that even slam poetry?)" "(What even is slam poetry to begin with?!)" "(Blech, never mind.)" "You will perish!" "I AM INFINITE! Hahahaha!" Trickle grabs his weapon of choice, the Hammer of the Bound. Oh, you wanna know about the Hammer? No? Well, I'm gonna cram unnecessary exposition anyway! The Hammer can attack like normal, not binding anything to it. However, upon binding, the enemy cannot be unbound until they are dead. The Hammer can bind three entities at any given moment, and when bound, the Hammer will generate an indestructible binding slab with a special mark on it. Note that I don't bind the Simumodder, as that is pretty much pointless, and you'll see why. Once the entity is dead, the slab's mark glows a bright red. What happens next? Oh, hahaha. I'm not gonna tell you just yet. Trickle runs full speed at the confused zombie, and uses its confusion to land a Cr1TiKaL hit on him with his Hammer. No, not a critical hit, a Cr1TiKaL hit. As in the YouTuber. The zombie then finds himself being shoved into a ~~tuba~~ tube and thrown down into a poisonous pool of prickly pears and pretty ponies. The pretty ponies obviously brandish deadly shotguns, each bullet secretly being a trained agent of the CSI and can manage to defeat a gargantuan entity in a single blow with its secret agent skills. Oh, and the bullets also live in slow-motion, so the amount of time it takes for them to be fired out of the shotgun and land into the zombie is prolonged. Did I mention that the bullets also brandish shotguns? No, I didn't. And the bullets inside those mini-shotguns also brandish mini-mini-shotguns, and it goes into an infinite loop where the zombie is basically ROFLstomped by a barrage of deadly miniature bullets. Yeah. He doesn't bind the zombie to the Hammer, though, as that'd be a waste of time and energy. Anyways, I have quite a bit of plans for this thing, I guess. So here come the dead memes. Yay. CHARGES ----------- Tin Can - 1/10 Bane of the Pobyos - 1/10 ----------- +1 to Consommé, +1 to Speed. Originally posted on 2016-12-21 17:23:00 -------------------- My DTG Spin-Off [small][small][big][big]WARNING[/big][/big][/small][/small]: It's sorta based on Homestuck, albeit only a bit. It's also not held on these forums, so you might have to make an account if you wish to join, but keep in mind that I appreciate every single person who joins.
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Hezetor	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
Signore Supremo Group: Members Posts: 203 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: In the Court of the Crimson King Status: N/A	I need a dramatic entrance. So first thing first I recruits a dozen of masons to build me a proper epic and giant cathedral around the Simumodder. While they start working I realize that this will take them 30 years to end and I really don't have that much patience. So while they build that I hire a dozen of specialized technicians in the field of modern robot industry, I pay all of them handsomely to build me a factory that will create robots that will create me a giant cathedral. While these technicians work the masons realize what I've done and start to complain at me that the robots will steal their work. I point out that I didn't even paid them because they should be grateful to work for me. They don't approve my ideas and start a not-so-pacific protest against me. I ignore them all and return to my technicians that have build part of the factory but half way through realized that the money I had paid them is fake. They don't appreciate fake mony and start to rise against me, their lovely and great Overlord, so I run away from the half finished factory into the half finished cathedral that was being build around the Simumodder. Here both the masons and the technicians realize that it was all the Simumodder fault that all of this happened, mostly because I casted "mass charm" on them. So they charge and attack the Simummodder out of their rage, meanwhile the field is changed to half build half-chathedral-half-factory, this has clearly no effects whatoever. After all of this I realize I haven't even made my dramatic entrance and kick a little stone out of frustration. +2 to Consumer 1/10 1/10 Originally posted on 2016-12-21 17:42:00 -------------------- ...
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Talist	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
Guy with all the Talking Animals Group: Members Posts: 567 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: 39 Location: TalCo HQ Status: N/A	For no particular reason other than I said so, the convenient shrubbery is hit by a blight of bugs that eat away all the leaves, leaving frail skeletal remains of leaves barely held together. That's what you get for being convenient. I also possibly cause a massive invasive species problem by introducing new bugs into Minecraft, where the only native bugs are silverfish. But... eh. We'll deal with that later. I guess. Charges because that's what all the cool kids do: 1/10 1/10 +2 to Hezetor because he posted above me. Originally posted on 2016-12-21 17:55:00 -------------------- Played.
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ConsumerOfAll	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
GLORIOUS LEADER Group: Members Posts: 1202 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: N/A Status: N/A	Alicia figures out that there's an entity advantage system. What an interesting tactic that she'd love to implement when she becomes a godmodder, just like what her twin sister is desperately trying to achieve, and fail at. If this was a more serious DTG game, I'd try to maintain a serious but sarcastic plot, and as such, I'd begin to characterise Alicia here, emphasising her salty and envious personality, and her all consuming hatred of her sister, probably to tell you all that "im totes a gud riter huyz", that last typo being unintentional. However, this is not a serious DTG game, and as such I just flat out tell you that Alicia is salty, envious, and hates her sister, a trait adapted from IRL Simumodder Alicia, who "totes exsts huyz". She also says "Thanks, what's your name?" to Auth, beginning to create a smile. Yay, positive attention. With that bit of terrible and not so characterisation in place, Alicia claps her hands, and has a microphone appear in them. She shouts into them generically, blasting into the Convenient Shrubbery, before she shouts "WE ARE NUMBER ON-" wait, no, that wasn't Number One, she just repeated WE ARE again. Oh, god, it's that one song from Page 34 of P&S. "WE ARE WE ARE WE ARE HEALTHINEERS!" Alicia shouts, before a wave of blue and orange plastic begins to wrap around the Convenient Shrubbery, and brand them with a symbols, that of S-I-E-M-E-N-S, the company that started this whole horrifying publicity stunt, and are probably a cover for a demonic Megacorp. Siemens, of course, send their most elite hackers here, ones with the company's engineering and design knowledge branded into them via a horrifying array of symbols, and they come, and use Siemens designs, engines of all kinds, powering trains, healthcare equipment, washing machines and the like to create explosives, lobbing them at the Convenient Shrubbery before self terminating themselves in a blast of code and horrible, terrifying, symbolism, one that Alicia will keep as a trade secret, along with the Siemens executives. Alicia has a lot of megacorporate connections from her family, after all. Being marked with an array of Megacorporate and Demonic symbols is not healthy for the Shrubbery. You don't have copyright to use Megacorporate symbols of course, even if those symbols are encoded under heavy layers of cipher, like corporations do with the True Names of God in a lovely novel named UNSONG, and without copyright, shadowy cabals from everywhere will hunt you down and end you, at least in Outside Alicia's world. Code Alicia is just that, Code Alicia. The shrubbery begins to rot, to suffer, and hopefully die. Alicia then opens a portal, and uses the elite hacking techniques of Megacorporation. She screams and expresses, and instantly, an avatar of her rage appears. salty facsimile of alicia [AS]: Hp: 15000/15000, but what if i don't like your existence: 1/3. This is a salty facsimile of alicia. Lack of capitalisation is intentional. but what if i don't like your existence: A standard, damage dealing charged attack. NaCl [5/5] [+2 from Speed] [+1 from Toasted Toaster] [ACTIVATED] The Mayor Is [5/10] [+1 from Trickle] [+2 to Hezetor] +1 to Speed, +1 to Trickle (next up, Hezetor, Toast) Originally posted on 2016-12-21 18:20:00 -------------------- questo mondo non cambia, nemmeno se vuoi questa gente che parla, che parla di noi per tutta questa rabbia, per questi sogni in gabbia se sto vivendo un dramma, sarà il mio momento prima o poi, prima o poi
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pionoplayer

Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM

Quote

Weaver of Fates

Group: Admin

Posts: 2622

Joined: 11-August 18

Age: 25
Location: Where ever there is chaos to be created
Status: N/A

Announcement! The stats for summoned entities have been doubled, health is now 3000x + 5000, and attack is now 500x

QUOTE (Toast @ (time=1482286644))

(since my last post was quoted before it was finished)

In space, one can see a lot of things. One of those things might be a roll of wrapping paper. Perhaps a ruler, or a wine glass. Infinite improbability could cause any number of things to will themselves into existence at will and the Heart of Gold has caused an immense amount of temporal and spatial issues as a result of this. Luckily, this attack has nothing to do with infinite improbability, the Infinite Improbability Drive or the Heart of Gold, since a lot of people don't seem to like that for whatever reason. Instead, this attack is going to be about a roll of wrapping paper, a ruler and a wine glass.

You see, this wine glass has been friends with a roll of wrapping paper and a ruler for an incredibly long time. Perhaps even since they were a tree, another tree, and sand (respectively). If they had any ability to move on their whatsoever, then they would have shared their perceived childhood together, frolicking across my table, as I have found them now. Although, as they matured, they found that their tastes began to differ. Or at least, they would have, if they were sentient. The wine glass probably would have leaned towards more artistic pursuits, while the ruler would probably pursue something more scientific, and the wrapping paper would be enamoured by the idea of being a war hero. Unfortunately, this caused them to drift apart. Their departure from each other would have been teary-eyed, as they were picked up one by one from a newsagent to go their separate ways.

Eventually, one collector of fine rulers would have come across this one at the back of a secondhand shop. He would have seen something special in it and taken it home. Here, the two may have discussed their worries with each other, assuming that the collector wasn't insane and that the ruler was not only sentient, but could talk. The ruler would have told him about his friends that it missed so, and the collector would have told it about the lack of community that he shared. He then came up with a plan. He would reunite the ruler with his friends, then perhaps they would let him be their friends too. So, they would have went on a trip around the world, asking everyone if they had seen the wrapping paper and wine glass. After years and years of searching, they finally found the wine glass and the wrapping paper. The former was probably comforting the latter, as the latter would have taken many a bullet in the war against Christmas. It's on its last legs now. Poor guy thing. Upon seeing this, the collector had an epiphany (probably). It's not about finding friends, it's about what he learnt on the way (most likely). He took them home, were they would forever be together (I think).

Maybe I'm just reading too far into the objects on my dining table. Anyhow, somehow, the story of a friendship separated, then brought back together, summons a Teary-eyed Observer to the field, which has stats.

10 2/10
3 2/3

The GM elects to grant you mercy and grants the Teary-eye Observer a stat boost for the wonderful story you have just told, and even gives you bonus XP for the creativity bonus.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (Cyanogynist @ (time=1482290414))

I shove the Inconvenient Tree into a convenience store, creating an antimatter-like explosion due to the reaction.

--Charges--
Tap Frek: 1/10
Frap Tek: 1/10

KABOOM! The raw power of convenience eats away at 3000 of the Inconvenient tree's hit points!
+5000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1482332397))

i show up
+2 trickle
charges:
Perceptual shift 1/10
PERCEPTUAL state 1/10
I walk up to the Simumodder, and pull out a wand, the tip glistening with amethyst light, before i swing my arm to the side, and a shockwave pushes him back, before i conjure a blade of mystical energy, which is much sharper then normal since its nearly as thin as an atom, making it definitely sharp enough to cut through any shield he creates, and i leap over, throwing a blade to him for FAIRNESS, and begin an intricate dance, slicing and ducking before he even swings, before the ethereal blade fades, and a kopesh style blade appears in my hand, blazing with light and fire, as i continue the battle, before i manage to catch his blade with the curve, and wrestle it away, before landing several hits on him, which burn at his skin, as i leap back and launch a firey blast shaped like a Phoenix,after which the blade vanishes and is replaced by a lightly glowing bow, which materializes an arrow as i pull back the string. Boots appear on my feet, and I suddenly dash forward, increases the momentum of the arrow as i release it, before i speed up again, keeping pace with the arrow, and pulling out a Pickaxe, which seems to hold a planet on the end of handle, glowing lightly, which i use to fight, displaying rather ridiculous proficiency, embedding it into his chest before pulling it out as i continue to dash past, turning around about 12 meters away and hurling it at him, it spinning quickly, hitting him before he can react, bouncing off, and being caught in my hand, before it is replaced with a hammer, platinum with cyan fabric (shaped like [¯¯] and the ¯ part is fabric, the hammer making a squeeking sound on impact. i strike quickly at him, before doing a downward blow and ending the combat.

Unfortunately for you, the convenient shrubberies continue to not be, and get in the way of what otherwise would probably have been an awesome combo. Two convenient shrubberies reduce to leaf scraps.
+6000 XP

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1482341012))

Trickle jumps out of a ten kilometer deep hole.
At this point you know I dislike flashy introductions.

Also, I know I said I'd use the thyme addicted maniac for all spin-offs, but this is sorta a test drive for the Reboot, so I'm gonna use the bumptious self-entitled "hero" instead.
Yeah, I'm making Trickle an arrogant zero hero. Go figure.

Anyways, since this person is actually somewhat sane and can understand what a relationship is, and doesn't actually want to kill everything, he decides to humbly introduce himself. Although this isn't much of an introduction, anyways.
"Hey there! I'm... uh... Trickle?"
"Sorry that I'm late to the party. I tend to do that a lot."
"Fear not, though, I'm gonna beat... uh... destroy... or... erm... I'll save everyone! Yeah!"
The Descendants freeze and stare at Trickle for a second before ignoring him and going back to what they were doing.
Trickle looks at everyone with a face reminiscent of this, -.-.
"Hey, come on! Not even a welcome?"
Trickle grows mad of everyone and kicks the grass in a pre-teen "BLUH BLUH TIRED OF YOUR SHIT" manner.
"Fine! I'll do everything by myself! Not that I'm not used to carrying the entire fucking team!"

He glances at the Simumodder.
"Say, do you need any help?"
The Simumodder stares at Trickle idly.
"Well, at least he's still looking at me!"
"Mister, would you like me to join your team?"
The Simumodder kicks Trickle in the groin and he flies back a few meters.
"Wow! Rude! Guess I'll pick the team that's not AS rude as you! Uhhh, nobody appreciates me..."

Trickle joins the [AS]!
"Time to show this 'Simumodder' fella what I'm really made of!"
"Hahahaha! You don't stand a chance against the Apostle of Heroism! The Duke of Excellence! The... uhhh... shut up! Don't question my skills at slam poetry!"
"(Was that even slam poetry?)"
"(What even is slam poetry to begin with?!)"
"(Blech, never mind.)"
"You will perish!"
"I AM INFINITE! Hahahaha!"

Trickle grabs his weapon of choice, the Hammer of the Bound.

Oh, you wanna know about the Hammer? No? Well, I'm gonna cram unnecessary exposition anyway!
The Hammer can attack like normal, not binding anything to it. However, upon binding, the enemy cannot be unbound until they are dead.
The Hammer can bind three entities at any given moment, and when bound, the Hammer will generate an indestructible binding slab with a special mark on it.
Note that I don't bind the Simumodder, as that is pretty much pointless, and you'll see why.
Once the entity is dead, the slab's mark glows a bright red.
What happens next?
Oh, hahaha. I'm not gonna tell you just yet.

Trickle runs full speed at the confused zombie, and uses its confusion to land a Cr1TiKaL hit on him with his Hammer. No, not a critical hit, a Cr1TiKaL hit. As in the YouTuber. The zombie then finds himself being shoved into a ~~tuba~~ tube and thrown down into a poisonous pool of prickly pears and pretty ponies. The pretty ponies obviously brandish deadly shotguns, each bullet secretly being a trained agent of the CSI and can manage to defeat a gargantuan entity in a single blow with its secret agent skills. Oh, and the bullets also live in slow-motion, so the amount of time it takes for them to be fired out of the shotgun and land into the zombie is prolonged. Did I mention that the bullets also brandish shotguns? No, I didn't. And the bullets inside those mini-shotguns also brandish mini-mini-shotguns, and it goes into an infinite loop where the zombie is basically ROFLstomped by a barrage of deadly miniature bullets. Yeah.
He doesn't bind the zombie to the Hammer, though, as that'd be a waste of time and energy.
Anyways, I have quite a bit of plans for this thing, I guess. So here come the dead memes. Yay.

CHARGES
-----------
Tin Can - 1/10
Bane of the Pobyos - 1/10
-----------

+1 to Consommé, +1 to Speed.

Uhh... so much for not liking flashy entrances.
Unfortunately, that sounds very much like an artifact that needs to be charged, so cool as your entrance was, it will remain pure flavor text for now.
On the other hand, that attack successfully removes the confused zombie from existing.
+7000 XP (small boost for the RP)

QUOTE (Hezetor @ (time=1482342177))

I need a dramatic entrance.
So first thing first I recruits a dozen of masons to build me a proper epic and giant cathedral around the Simumodder.
While they start working I realize that this will take them 30 years to end and I really don't have that much patience.
So while they build that I hire a dozen of specialized technicians in the field of modern robot industry, I pay all of them handsomely to build me a factory that will create robots that will create me a giant cathedral.
While these technicians work the masons realize what I've done and start to complain at me that the robots will steal their work. I point out that I didn't even paid them because they should be grateful to work for me.
They don't approve my ideas and start a not-so-pacific protest against me.
I ignore them all and return to my technicians that have build part of the factory but half way through realized that the money I had paid them is fake.
They don't appreciate fake mony and start to rise against me, their lovely and great Overlord, so I run away from the half finished factory into the half finished cathedral that was being build around the Simumodder.
Here both the masons and the technicians realize that it was all the Simumodder fault that all of this happened, mostly because I casted "mass charm" on them.
So they charge and attack the Simummodder out of their rage, meanwhile the field is changed to half build half-chathedral-half-factory, this has clearly no effects whatoever.

After all of this I realize I haven't even made my dramatic entrance and kick a little stone out of frustration.

+2 to Consumer
1/10
1/10

You completely fail to have a super dramatic entrance, and change the terrain to "unfinished cathedral/factory"
+4000 XP (bonus for nifty entrance)

QUOTE (Talist @ (time=1482342901))

For no particular reason other than I said so, the convenient shrubbery is hit by a blight of bugs that eat away all the leaves, leaving frail skeletal remains of leaves barely held together. That's what you get for being convenient.

I also possibly cause a massive invasive species problem by introducing new bugs into Minecraft, where the only native bugs are silverfish. But... eh. We'll deal with that later. I guess.

Charges because that's what all the cool kids do:
1/10
1/10

+2 to Hezetor because he posted above me.

Your plague of bugs shreds the sole remaining undamaged shrubbery, as well as one of the damaged ones.
+5500 XP

QUOTE (ConsumerOfAll @ (time=1482344405))

Alicia figures out that there's an entity advantage system. What an interesting tactic that she'd love to implement when she becomes a godmodder, just like what her twin sister is desperately trying to achieve, and fail at. If this was a more serious DTG game, I'd try to maintain a serious but sarcastic plot, and as such, I'd begin to characterise Alicia here, emphasising her salty and envious personality, and her all consuming hatred of her sister, probably to tell you all that "im totes a gud riter huyz", that last typo being unintentional. However, this is not a serious DTG game, and as such I just flat out tell you that Alicia is salty, envious, and hates her sister, a trait adapted from IRL Simumodder Alicia, who "totes exsts huyz".

She also says "Thanks, what's your name?" to Auth, beginning to create a smile. Yay, positive attention.

With that bit of terrible and not so characterisation in place, Alicia claps her hands, and has a microphone appear in them. She shouts into them generically, blasting into the Convenient Shrubbery, before she shouts "WE ARE NUMBER ON-" wait, no, that wasn't Number One, she just repeated WE ARE again. Oh, god, it's that one song from Page 34 of P&S.

"WE ARE WE ARE WE ARE HEALTHINEERS!" Alicia shouts, before a wave of blue and orange plastic begins to wrap around the Convenient Shrubbery, and brand them with a symbols, that of S-I-E-M-E-N-S, the company that started this whole horrifying publicity stunt, and are probably a cover for a demonic Megacorp. Siemens, of course, send their most elite hackers here, ones with the company's engineering and design knowledge branded into them via a horrifying array of symbols, and they come, and use Siemens designs, engines of all kinds, powering trains, healthcare equipment, washing machines and the like to create explosives, lobbing them at the Convenient Shrubbery before self terminating themselves in a blast of code and horrible, terrifying, symbolism, one that Alicia will keep as a trade secret, along with the Siemens executives. Alicia has a lot of megacorporate connections from her family, after all.

Being marked with an array of Megacorporate and Demonic symbols is not healthy for the Shrubbery. You don't have copyright to use Megacorporate symbols of course, even if those symbols are encoded under heavy layers of cipher, like corporations do with the True Names of God in a lovely novel named UNSONG, and without copyright, shadowy cabals from everywhere will hunt you down and end you, at least in Outside Alicia's world. Code Alicia is just that, Code Alicia. The shrubbery begins to rot, to suffer, and hopefully die.

Alicia then opens a portal, and uses the elite hacking techniques of Megacorporation. She screams and expresses, and instantly, an avatar of her rage appears.

salty facsimile of alicia [AS]: Hp: 15000/15000, but what if i don't like your existence: 1/3.
This is a salty facsimile of alicia. Lack of capitalisation is intentional.

but what if i don't like your existence: A standard, damage dealing charged attack.

NaCl [5/5] [+2 from Speed] [+1 from Toasted Toaster] [ACTIVATED]
The Mayor Is [5/10] [+1 from Trickle] [+2 to Hezetor]
+1 to Speed, +1 to Trickle (next up, Hezetor, Toast)

Alicia's incredibly unhealthy (no matter what the song may claim) attack causes 3 of the inconvenient shrubberies to waste away.
salty fascimile of alicia summoned!
+6500 XP

EoTB:
Although the AS attack first normally, this round it doesn't matter because literally the only purpose of the convenient/inconvenient foiliage is to get in the way of attacks.
Saxton Hale! POWER PUNCHes the remaining shrub into oblivion, and this is followed by the teary-eyed observer crying on the inconvenient tree, providing the salty fascimile with salt to use to completely remove it from its existence.
The Simumodder's eyes pop when it realizes just how much it underestimated your potential damage output, and decides that it should probably set up some more entities, even if it doesn't have time to make proper bodyguards.
It lunges forward, its hand fading to a series of black and green zeroes and ones, plunging right into Saxton Hale! Pulling from it the pure hatred of hippies, and molding it into a darker, purer form as Saxton Hale! crumples to the ground and disappears in a buff of binary.
Saxton Hale! killed, 10 Evil hippies summoned, 3 dank weed abominations summoned, 1 high liberal summoned.

All charges tick up by one.

World Update:

Weather: Clear (no effect)
Terrain: Broken Cathedral/Factory (no effect?)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 100/100
Evil Hippies x10 [PS]: Hp: 5000/5000
Dank Weed Abomination x3 [PS]: Hp: 10000/10000
High Liberal [PS]: Hp: 25000/25000
Teary-eyed Observer [AS]: Hp: 20000/20000
salty fascimile of alicia [AS]: Hp: 20000/20000. but what if i don't like your existence: 1/3

”Players”

Originally posted on 2016-12-21 18:22:00

--------------------

Once upon a time there was a story...

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TrickleJest	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
[b] [color=RED]Incompetent GM [/color] [/b] Group: Members Posts: 253 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: In Me Mom's Car (Dead memes for the win) Status: N/A	I won't call that a flashy entrance. Big, yes, but certainly not flashy enough for my tastes. Anyway, I forgot to specify that the binding slabs do not do anything for now, even when activated. I had all these plans where I'd charge things that made them useful, but if you want me to charge the Hammer, too, I'm up for that. I convert the 'Tin Can' charge to the 'Hammer of the Bound' charge, and the 'Bane of the Pobyos' becomes the 'Tin Can' charge. Trickle's Hammer is suddenly removed. "Hey, give that back!" "Frk..." "I'll have you know that I got the sword from the mighty demi-God... errr... Plebeus!" "It was one of my most heroic ventures." "I slayed him with a sword as sharp as the sharpest needle!" "He put up a fight, that fella..." "But I obviously won, what with my excellence and everything." "Slayed him by myself, of course." "I always go solo." "That's how I roll!" "Heroes don't need teammates!" Trickle then continues to say the fakest and most boring story in the multiverse, telling "tales about his heroism" and how he "evidently rescued the universe" and all that shit. "Alright, I know all of y'all are intrigued and everything by my amazing stories, but I gotta do some destroying up in this bitch!" "(Do people even say that anymore?)" "(Fuck... I think I just embarrassed myself for the first time...)" First time? Really?! This is at least the millionth time! This guy is obviously oblivious to all obligatory obstacles obfuscating his so-called "heroism". I know that didn't make sense. But everyone knows. That alliterations. Are fucking cool. I'm obviously forcefully expending my vocabulary here. "Time to teach these "hippies" what I'm really made of!" Trickle runs over to the hippies and offers them some new indie underground drug. The hippies obviously agree and swallow all the pills. All of them. [ARBITRARY HOMESTUCK REFERENCE] Little do they know that the drug is secretly corrupted by a chemical that paralyzes anyone and everyone that it comes in contact with. By the time the drug dissolves the daring hippies suffer from dysentery and diarrhea and fall down on the spot. "Hehehe... I'm gonna have some fun with you..." "Oh, shit, I don't mean that kind of fun." "I'm not a necrophiliac!" Trickle then takes off his orange backpack and searches through the available weapon pool. "If I can't bind enemies, I'm gonna find something else..." To his surprise, the simulation could only simulate a few of his weapons, and the rest are simply... evaporated? Anyway, Trickle decides to take another one of his signature weapons, the MP35. It's a fusion of an MP3 and an MP5, using the power of MUSIX to slay foes. "Now it's time to jam out!" "(Crap, I should really stop using outdated lingo...)" "(Ack! Not again!)" Trickle chooses one of his favorite songs, Killed By Br8k Spider!!!!!!! and shoots a special bullet for every note. Each bullet has a special effect, and the fast paced song leaves the hippies spazzing out on the floor. Nice. Trickle then grabs the hippies, stabs them all together with another one of his weapons, lining them up like a shishkabob, before the they're launched into the air along with a giant Bob-Omb, which causes them all to explode in the air. The weapon isn't called the 'Shishkablam' for nothing. The explosion creates a beautiful barrage of vast colors. Most of the colors being shades of red. Cause. Ya know. Blood. "Ah. Perfection." "Looks like my heroism payed out again." Trickle's ego then grows exponentially. Yeah. The corpse of the hippies falls down at break-neck speed. Not that their necks aren't already snapped into fifty parts. Trickle decides that even if they ARE dead, they could be revived, and he has to completely exterminate their corpse so no trace of these 80s parasites would be left. ~ WEAPON FUSION! ~ All of Trickle's weapons have a special weapon fusion function in them. MP35 + Shishkablam! The result is none other than the EMP35, basically a musical gun that shoots EMP Bob-Ombs. Yes. The hippies are secretly robots. The EMP Bob-Ombs completely obliterate them, leaving nothing there. Not even ash. Not even the slightest particle. The hippies are gone. Forever. And ever. "God, I really fucking hate hippies." The weapons unfuse and Trickle puts 'em back in his backpack. Violence for the win! CHARGES ----------- Hammer of the Bound - 6/10 [+2 from Joe, +1 from Consumer, +1 from Joe] Tin Can - 2/10 ----------- +1 to Consommé. {Queue: Joe, Speed, Consommé} [SUBJECT TO CHANGE] Originally posted on 2016-12-21 18:52:00 -------------------- My DTG Spin-Off [small][small][big][big]WARNING[/big][/big][/small][/small]: It's sorta based on Homestuck, albeit only a bit. It's also not held on these forums, so you might have to make an account if you wish to join, but keep in mind that I appreciate every single person who joins.
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pionoplayer	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
Weaver of Fates Group: Admin Posts: 2622 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: 25 Location: Where ever there is chaos to be created Status: N/A	OH! Second announcement I forgot to make in the above post! Everyone now only gets a single +1 every post. This is just for now, as soon as the charge cap gets raised it'll go back to two. Originally posted on 2016-12-21 19:32:00 -------------------- Once upon a time there was a story...
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JOEbob	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
Ancestor Group: Members Posts: 1777 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: N/A Status: N/A	Perceptual shift 2/10 PERCEPTUAL state 3/10 +1 from tricklejest i think he +1ed me twice? so 3/10 for both of them? +1* tricklejest I wonder how the shrubbery could have stopped that attack when i walked over to simumodder before attacking, so it shouldn't have been in the way. oh well. this time, noticing the lack of shrubery, I calmly take off my shoes and put on some strange bootlike shoes,and a chest-piece with several glowing lines, followed by insert a crystal into a slot, which glitters and seems to almost shift visually when you look into it, followed by retrieving a sword, this one bloody red and perceptually dripping, Before vanishing. 1/7 of a second later, the Simumodder feels a sharp pain in his backside, taking several glancing blows as i dash by with my blade, before i stop behind him, lifting my blade, the crystal and chest-piece glowing and an orb of strange liquid forms, before i once more dash around, this time trailing my blade on the ground as i circle him, marking the ground blood-red in an intricate pattern, before I dash by, shedding his blood in the circle. it glows, revealing some blue runes on the ground, forming a cage around me and him. he can no longer run. I place my hand on the ground, and the machine-like substance of my breastplate "flows" down to the ground, beginning to cover it. the crystal from before falls from my chest, and i catch it in my other hand. I thrust my hand sideways, and a blue light emanates. I scythe forms in my hand, and I initiate combat with the Simumodder, fighting him in an unorthodox way that relies on sudden bursts of speed, dealing several glancing blows, forcing him to the edge of the circle, where he receives a nasty shock, as the circle rejects his contact, harming him. i backpedal for .16 of a second, reaching the other end while he's still disoriented, and retrieve my signature weapons, A enchanted pickaxe, A glistening disk, and a sickle, dropping the disc to the ground, where it hits a button and activates a hidden feature in the machine-like floor, with 4 spikes rising out of the ground. one problem: the machine has no power source. i solve that by dropping my light-scythe, the crystalline source being assimilated, and powering the machine. it activates, restricting the Simumodder's movements even more, before the disc floats into the air, and begins zipping around the room, distracting him and landing the occasional hit, while i run forward and begin striking him with my pickaxe, before i embed it in his stomach, and switch to the sickle. i thrust it sideways, keeping it in my hand, before time warps and another me appears, and we both dash forward, him firing a cannon embedded in his left arm while striking quickly with a small dagger, and I slicing quickly with the sickle, while the Simumodder is slowed by the relic. i then leap back, warping to the past to become my future self. after i go back in time, I take out an intricately carved dagger and katana, the dagger glowing green on strike, while the katana releases bursts of energy whenever it lands a hit, before the technological restricted fails and the Simumodder reacts, probably retaliating at me, before suddenly his weapon is powered through by my kattana, and i yank the pickaxe from his chest, distracting him while the disk moves in, slicing his legs before morphing to envelop his neck, when I slash my kattana downwards and it strikes the ground, exploding and sending a shock-wave forward which knocks him off his feet, before i throw the dagger at him, and both the kattana and dagger glow brightly before shattering, and the dome around us vanishes, the disk spinning quickly and cutting at his neck. as this happens, i ask if he rewards or aids his followers, leaving after 1) he answers or 2) 32 seconds pass. Originally posted on 2016-12-21 20:04:00
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Jondanger23	Posted: Aug 11 2018, 07:39 PM Quote
some guy Group: Members Posts: 879 Joined: 11-August 18 Age: N/A Location: N/A Status: N/A	I spam rockets at everything that isn't AS. Originally posted on 2016-12-21 22:32:00 -------------------- [small]small[/small] [big]big[/big]
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