I save a Dog Residue from the fire. And put it into the "Battlefury not allowed" part of the inventory.
I move to I3 and revive Wilson at J3.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 03:45:00

First things first...
I give Redstone a grim Deathstare. And then facepalm comedically.
"What in the [b]gorilla were you thinking... next time, choose which side you're on. Capeche?"[/b]

Back to the battle at hand... I speak to Chairiel:
"Try it, ya thorn in our side."
I move to (F6), whack Chairiel with my own chair, and pose over-dramatically as I ride the chair to (E7). This is done preferrably AFTER Engie gets his shot off, if he does that.

*Rin is out for a few seconds. Please wait...*
...
"Oh, sorry, I was just gorilla-slapping that Redstone guy's face."
Anyway, she moves to (F10) and guards.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 03:53:00

Siria, if she can fire before escaping, shoots Chairiel right in the face point-blank, then absconds out of the battle to heal up. She's a sniper, not a frontline fighter. If possible, she asks Gladius for a healup, and/or grabs a drink of coffee, and then goes over to the Weapons Testing Facility.

[CREATIVE ATTACK/GATHERING ACTION BEGIN! This might get me some new weapon components and/or materials, so it's a win all around.]
Siria looks around at the massive weapons lining the walls, and smiles evilly. She dissolves into a cloud of nanobots, swooping up and plucking a railgun from the walls. "It's time to wreak some havoc." The railgun inexplicably fires, the shell smashing into the walls and dislodging several more weapons. Siria's dematerialized cloud-form catches those while dumping the railgun on the ground, before it test-fires them, beams and fire and various other things raking the walls and dislodging more weapons. All the weapons are set down on the ground, before Siria picks them up and aims them at the only viable target... The notice about attacking. Toxins spew, nanobot canisters sail, railguns blast, and glitch beams do... whatever glitch beams do. Siria admires the aftermath for a second, before a new notice pings in on the miraculously unmarked wall. She then turns her offense to the actual weapons themselves. Her body dissolves entirely into nanobots, seeping onto the weapons like grey goo. Which, in essence, is what her body is underneath all the passive illusions, near-perfect biomimicry, and general hiding arts. The weapons begin to be disassembled into their component parts, each type of weapon receiving its own pile of components to call its own. If any Temmie Launchers have somehow snuck into the Weapons Testing Facility, Siria gently deposits the Temmies from the shells into a pile of cushions she just fabricated from the mental equivalent of creation energy. Succumb to cute later. Work now. The hulls of the weapons are stripped off and deposited into a floating pile, a flamethrower saved from scrap melting down the hulls into molten metal, which Siria then runs through Dark Teag's Forge, transforming it into pure ingots of different metals. With the forging over, Siria begins to sort through the piles of weapon parts for anything useful. "Hmm. Could be useful. No. Why is that even in here? No. Definitely! Definitely not. Ew. I'll put this in the 'maybe' pile. Wait, is there a 'maybe' pile? There, now there is." (This goes on for a while.) Her work done, she dumps the fruits of her labor (a wholebunch of weapon components) into the Inventory, walking back to the Hangar.

(Ire, can this happen? The Notice never went down.)

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 03:59:00

Anyway, the area where my 'soul' currently is happens to be where the thing that could best be defined as me is hovering. There's a pause, then I float over to F10 while my body runs over to G10. After reuniting, I then take aim, and shoot Chairiel Dreemurr right in the wood. geddit cause wood is slang for dick

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 04:09:00

@Crystal: That'll work.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 04:12:00

Over Redstone's now dead Soul, an image flashes.
There is a man floating over there who kinda looks like a shitty mash-up of Goku and Hentai Jack Noir (the chap with the + - eyes and the tentacles? Know him?).
The image then changes into normal Redstone, horned helmet and all.
Crap. I'm dead.
Honestly, it kinda sucks how I just suddenly GOT a soul.
I live in a world where SOULs aren't a thing.
Except in Undertale.
That game is kinda shitty.
Actually, it's pretty cool.
Oh, and I have powers. To SAVE.
I will SAVE this moment.
Suddenly, there is a billboard that says:
FILE 1 SAVED.
I've had work with an Update Terminal before.
Well, my puppeteer, anyways.
/rpnull

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 04:15:00

FC: gr8 b8 m8, I r8 m-8 8/8 no h8 just r8 gr8. s8 the deb8, shut the g8, ur l8.

Toast moves from m8 to I8 and uses Shifting Sands on TOFS at d8.

They d8 for a bit, but it ends up with them simultaneously friendzoning one another (which has actually happened to me, it was wierd)

...MR MABUZ, fires south-west and moves to D2. Her Soul Moves to C2 and merges with her.


She fires north-east, has her SOUL move to C7 and they reform on a D8. She uses her retreat to move to F10 taking the longest possible route with 2 movement.

Toast's eyes darken as she turns her head down, her own shadow covering her face.

FC: Chariel, you should know I have at LEAST 2 SOULS.
FC: They're just invisible so you don't know they are there.

Tazz, do you mind if I le yoink that SPC orb after this battle? It scales sooo much better with my special than yours. Mine is consistently consistent, while yours has a 10% chance of proccing when it otherwise wouldn't have (mind you, yours costs more too). Just something to think about because it could be really useful in the airship.


IF TAZZ WOULD SUCCEED BUT ONLY WITH THIS EXTRA DAMAGE, THEN I INSTEAD MOVE TO M8 AND FIREBALL CHARIEL. AFTER NUMBERS THO.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 05:01:00

@Toast: Oops. TOFS shouldn't be there.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 05:04:00

OK, first off: I move explicitly to make the Killing Blow if I reasonably can this turn-otherwise I'll just move after everyone else. Why the killsteal? Because I have a reason to: Thief's Dagger hasn't gotten its due proc yet and that's a return investment we could all use, it works over time and every bit counts. No-one else has a real equivalent to that, so...Yeah. Hope you don't mind.

Second, the instant that Bill Cipher is done repairing the Inventory, and assuming it exists as a thing this turn, I smelt the billion dog residue into ingots, ALL of it, and will legally obtain restraining orders for Teag/Battlefury against all forms of Dog Residue or other Dog Byproducts if I must do so in the process of making sure they don't use Dog Residue ever again. EVER. AGAIN. PERIOD. IT'S BANNED FOR EVERYONE.

Second off, MOAR CREATIVITY BOOSTING EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THIS WON'T GET ME ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT.

Roxxanne moves to F6, RIGHT in front of Chariel, and...Drops a Shuriken at his legs. Chairiel is confused as to what this could possibly be, and of course, gets down low to inspect it a bit clearer-or alternatively levitates it upwards to him with chair power. Doesn't matter for the purposes of this attack. Roxxanne, looking very trollish with that near-signature catface, was altogether all too comfortable putting her face as close as it got to Chairiel without actually touching him. "I told you what would happen! :3 You're gonna be splinters because of a chair that makes you look like a table! :3 Should've listened, you piece of noncanon ****!" >3

Wow, that bypassed the standard censor! Good thing there's always the backup. Wait, no, there's no actual censors here! I can curse like a real man! *inhales deeply* SON OF A-

"Hey, no cursing!" >^(

...Feh. In any case, Chariel inspects the Shuriken, inscribed with ancient runes. It is ominously glowing, which is never a good sign in these cases. Of course, its not yet his turn, and this is a turn-based system of battle, so naturally he cannot actually do anything other than wonder, doubly since shurikens have no HP bar.

The shuriken's runes increase in intensity over the course of a few seconds, before the shuriken explodes into a portal directly above Chairiel, surrounded by arcane runes and, oddly enough, film tape. Roxxanne, in the time this occurred, has LE VANISHED from her current position to the village of NOWHERE-TO-BE-FOUND-VILLE, which is odd since she was facing Chairiel in the closest to a face analogue you could get.

Of course, that's now the least of his concerns, as Chairiel is now looking up, and cannot believe it. He was the God of Chairs before he became god of chairs, and even now he was His lesser-and He was now about to grace his poor exterior like a nuke graces a man's face.

He faced-and would promptly be killed by...

REGNUM DEI
THE ABSOLUTE OVERCHAIRITY
i don't know how to make the fancy boss intros like ire ok
theme song for this moment: Time for the Climax-Bayonetta 2 OST. Perfectly appropriate for a finishing move being a giant summon.

Roxxanne was sitting on Regnum Dei like the smuggest little gorilla ever, taking a posture so lazy a sleeping cat would look restless in comparison, but wouldn't ANYONE be like that, resting their laurels on the Absolute Overchairity and clearly in control of this situation? The legendary throne of the creatively-named Split, Split (yes, Split is in fact his name), crafted by the hands of The_Ideal_Modpack_Mod_Man in his quest to aid Split (and surprisingly without any help from Irecreeper in any way), outfitted with Carrot Juice Bars, Disco Rooms, XBOX ONES galore (it upgraded itself from 360's in its spare time), a deluxe Starbucks, escape hatches, traps for invading entities, and MORE, and it all flies in the air as gracefully as an eagle. And, most recently apparently, there is also now a massive grinder at the bottom of this absolute masterwork of materials that many of this party would still crave, all in a size so huge it's insane. A grinder that Chairiel had the misfortune of being directly under.

And this is on a freaking throne. It's just that huge.

He is paralyzed by the magnificence of Regnum Dei, the Absolute Overchairity. It has been bested in every reasonable manner and can now only look upon the grim fate that awaits it. Well, that, and turn-based combat. Stupid turn-based combat!

Roxxanne winks and presses one of many, MANY buttons upon Regnum Dei's marvelous armrests, the result of which immediately plummets the flying throne downwards, onto Chairiel. Regnum Dei's magnificent chair power overwhelms Chairiel Dreemur's own, itself a mere candle compared to the inferno of Regnum Dei; as such, it falls victim effortlessly to the grinder.

Of course, things go far too slow for Roxxanne's liking-like it or not that was one ultra-stubborn chair. She hit the button to descend faster. Then again. And again. Once more, then twice, then thrice, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 3031323334353637383940414243444546474849-

OK yeah you get the point. MUCH BUTTON PRESSING WAS TO BE HAD. By the time it was over, Roxxanne's FINISHING BLOW BONUS was easily capped at over 2,400 MEGATONS, awarding 1,600 DIVINIUM RINGS (which aren't used as currency here and are henceforth TOTALLY USELESS BAR FOR DEEPER REFERENCING), as Chairiel was messily ground into undignified, powerless splinters that made his previous incarnation of a tree look positively almighty by comparison, by Regnum Dei's mythical GRINDER OF THE UNWORTHY, Roxxanne looking smug and very pleased by this outcome. The seven souls were forcibly released by this process (on kill), including Chairiel's own, leaving it as a nigh-powerless ghostly spectre for its final words to everyone.

Roxxanne shot the most annoyed look possible at Techpiece for being indirectly responsible for Chairiel's (100% noncanon) existence in the first place as soon as Regnum Dei landed on solid ground, but doesn't hold it for long. Regnum Dei promptly fell into a portal similar to the one that brought it here, vanishing in a burst of chair majjyks and film tape (for some reason).

Roxxanne promptly backs off to I3 in case that somehow failed to secure a killing blow (that is to say, it wasn't enough in the first place), also somehow magically knowing to not use her awesome finishing move summon just now.

In short: Wait until I am capable of dealing out a killing blow if possible (otherwise waiting until I'm last in the turn for players), Move to F6, Shuriken Chairiel, throw in awesome finishing move in case this would kill Chairiel, and in case he didn't die, back off to I3.

"Wow, that was honestly pretty OK, all things considered! :3" Roxxanne said, as a final disrespect to Chairiel, if he snuffed it anyways. "As for how I got Regnum Dei on speed dial like that, well, trade secret! ;3" She added to everyone else.

@Redstone: Update Terminals are the exclusive property of First Guardians and only they can use them. That's an In-Universe designation, and First Guardianship is a title bestowed upon characters who GM canon sessions (and even then it's supposed to be temporary). Even then it's only in the DTGverse-nothing else really counts. This is one of the few things that can run afoul of canon, but mostly it's just a pet peeve for me. Might not be so low-impact with others...But yeah.

@Toast: I may do that, but the 10% chance is extremely tempting for me, you know, as that could mean we could rope in a random Elite or some particularly dangerous normals to our service, which at this stage will be simply stronger than most summon options we have, and can definitely last a while if we get the right ones-I definitely do not want to have that fail.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 05:24:00

Um... if Chariel's still alive, I just snipe him with Fire Runes and move to J3.

I JUST realized how absolutely pitiful my special attack really is.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 13:11:00

MOVE: H3
ATTACK: Chairiel
TURN END

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 14:08:00

@Piono: We can buff your special. I was actually thinking about Specials since the balance patch; should they be made stronger to be comparable to the improved spells?

>Most specials buffed in terms of damage. Nearly all "form change" specials were untouched. Some specials got other modifications.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 14:44:00

I was sort of under the impression that specials were supposed to be the strongest things our characters can pull off.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 15:50:00

I run to F6, attack Chairiel, and moonwalk to I4.
Also, Tazz, I never even touched the residue. Y u do dis

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 17:28:00

Oriko moves to G4 and Orbs Chairiel, Kirika moves to G5 and attacks Chairiel.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 17:36:00

I move to F6 and attack Chariel.

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 18:24:00

@Piono: Well, comparatively yours is fairly spammable and flexible (contrast mine, which will take an age to charge and will almost certainly involve me bum-rushing to the line of fire and having only a chance of recruiting stuff, the tradeoff being that stuff will be stronger than almost all of our summons statistically), but I think the buff was well-reasoned, so yeah.

@Pit: Perhaps H3 instead of I3? I could be standing there if we can't get a kill on Chairiel this turn. Also, please attack Chairiel from H3 while you're there; I literally just said we may get a kill this turn and we literally need every point of DPS on him if we want to make that a reality.

@Engie: I'm reasonably sure F11 is a wall, though moving the Soul to F9 and reforming at F10 is also a perfectly valid move and PROBABLY what you're thinking of.

/nullerino

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 19:51:00

Actually I meant G10

Originally posted on 2016-03-23 21:09:00

Oh. Yeah, I know very little crap about the DtGverse. Also.
I don't get how the Operator is supposed to exist if a 1st Guardian is for a world and not a universe. :U
/null

Originally posted on 2016-03-24 02:22:00

I move over to K8, but can't do much else I suppose.

Originally posted on 2016-03-24 17:20:00