Player Responses!:

QUOTE (Paradoxdragonpaci @ Apr 15 2020, 07:26 PM)

(x1) I take an Anti-Anti-Antitode and a regular Antitode just to make sure i really flush out those toxins. (x1)I cast Animal Communion Skill from a Beastmasters Branch and begin taming a wolf pack to my side (x1) Set-up Skill activates!!+1 CP CP:2

You have cured yourself of poison!

You manage to tame a pack of wolves that were too far in the back to see the horror that was the Gert eating one of their own!

CHURG

QUOTE (TotallyNotDagoth @ Apr 15 2020, 07:28 PM)

FOCUS. Varanus, in all his wisdom, knows that there’s a secret Easter egg in the game. If you were to beat all of the optional Bone Golem bosses, you would be rewarded with a “pixelated bone”, which instantly tames any hostile wolves! He also knows of the glitch where if you use the “Summon Simulacrum” spell to make copies of the Bone Golem and beat them all, that also rewards you with the bone. And that’s what he did....multiple times! He throws pixelated bones to the Alpha Wolves in every pack, taming them, and by extension the rest of their pack!

This is super effective! 5 Wolf Packs tamed, but since you didn't specify to which side, they just slink off to the nearby town to get adopted by local children who think wolves are cool.

QUOTE (FlamingFlapjacks @ Apr 15 2020, 07:51 PM)

I rush past the mooks, and channeling the power of light.... EXCITEBIKE (Yes, I made that gif. Not the image. I just made it spin.) He appears as a vestige of glory, rolling and smashing down the RPGmodder!

The RPGModder is so surprised that you bumrushed him- PSYCHE! He does the ultimate disrespect and dodges the attack! How rude!

QUOTE (Splashcat @ Apr 15 2020, 08:00 PM)

Action 1: I inject an S into my poison, turning it into a poisson, french for "fish." My status as a fish causes the wolves to think I'm delicious, and come over to try to eat me. However, as soon as they take a bite, they realize something fishy was in play: they didn't eat me, they ate my status, taking it away from me! Then I reclaim my S, and suddenly the wolves are poisoned! Action 2: I call up John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats and let him know we've got a surplus of wolves, so if he's looking for more wolves for his songs, he's free to come and take them. He drives over in a white van, loads up the wolves, and leaves. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el-ZrpQybXM - This is far from the only Mountain Goats song that prominently features wolves. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anS6bcPpvoQ - Not quite as many wolves, but some, and also an amazing song. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2057542...lf-in-white-van - Never read it, but I've heard good things about it, and I wanted to make the reference. Action 3: I shoot the RPGmodder with a Rocket-Propelled Grenade.

You poison a pack of Wolves! Since they don't have your poison resistance, they'll die at the end of the turn if they aren't killed by something else!

Another wolf pack is removed from the Battlefield!

You try that, but the RPGmodder mods the RPG with such speed that it's not only a homing RPG, but it's homing in on... the Gert! It'll hit at the same time as the poison kicks in!

QUOTE (JOEbob @ Apr 15 2020, 08:27 PM)

[x1] I drink some of my potions, one of which is probably an antidote, and the rest of which heal me back to full! I abuse a minor big in the consumable-indexing system to let me drink five potions at once, doing this faster. [1x] I stab the RPGmodder with Dodegars Ultimate Weapon (from a extremely long yet simultaneously over- and under-whelming questline involving a famous hobbit blacksmith I've never heard of before and lots of fetching things). except, i have the wrong class to use this wondrous blade. So, instead, I throw it at the RPGmodder! Since this sets it to item mode- I don't have dagger-throwing prowess- it does no damage instead of its ordinary 1-1 damage. However, Dodegars Ultimate weapon is the highest-tier item in the game! Not Legendary,  Fabled, or even Mythic, but a completely unique Deific Tier! It also has a very high minimum level, and has the highest in every bonus stat in the game, signifying its extreme value!... It also has unique modifiers which are exactly equal to their bonus stats times -1, making it functionally... an ordinary, 1-damage weapon; the stats cancel out. But that doesn't matter! It's so strong (read: rare), the RPGmodder Has to have it! So, with it readily available, he takes it. ...Sadly, it turns out there was a slight bug in the health-regen handling function due to a buffer overflow involving the amount of health I healed while chugging potions earlier (using the flaws in the food/scroll/potion/salve/snack/beer/drug index to drink faster then expected, naturally), The cap for the Weapons health-regen boost is slightly smaller then the cap for its health-regen removing modifier (which works on a completely different system), causing the RPGmodder to have -1 health regen for the tick where my heal quantity was too high for the buffer. His health silently drops by one point. [1x] +1 CP ENTITY ORDER: The Gert is to eat the corpses of all the goblins, and any wolf corpses. Gerts are very hungry things! maybe this will even make the Gert stronger?

You use your quaffing technique to cure your poison and heal at the same time, but this reduces your potion stock from 'a boatload' to 'a wagonfull'! Mostly because you had to drink that many to get your next trick to work.

The RPGmodder, being as much of a kleptomaniac as the stereotypical player, nabs the sword, falling for the ploy hook line and sinker! -1 Damage!

CHURG

The Gert will do as you say, much to the relief of the living wolves.

QUOTE (The_Two_Eternities @ Apr 16 2020, 11:59 AM)

2x: +2 CP. 1x: I am The_Two_Eternities. Therefore, I am in the EoTB. Literally. I walk right, past my HP bar, and grab the ", Poisoned!" part of my status. I break it off of the rest of my status and throw it up and to the right. It bounces off the right edge of the post and hits the Wolf Packs. CP: 2

You manage to remove your poison, poison a different Wolf Pack, and confuse absolutely everyone!

You also DOUBLE CHURG

QUOTE (That-Random-Guy @ Apr 16 2020, 07:00 PM)

I . . . to make a long story short +3 CP

That is entirely fair. You triple CHURG.

====================================================================

EoTB:

The RPGModder decides that these bugs are massively getting in the way and uses one of his suspiciously unofficial amount of two Actions to begin debugging the script of the game, which he can do because it's modifying the RPG he's in! He'll get the debugging done next turn.

For his other action, he decides to pull out something a bit more specific. A...

A Mad Taxi?

It's a Mad Taxi from Earthbound, of all things! I did say the RPG was copyright unfriendly.

The Gert noms on the bodies of the dead, doubling its HP. It starts to feel full, so any future attempts might not be as effective, if at all.

The Tamed Wolf Pack, with no specific targets, attacks the Wounded Wolf Pack in a fierce fight- oh who are we kidding,t he attack animation for Wolves is lackluster and basic. Still, 2,500 damage dealt tot he wounded Wolf pack.

The Gert is then quite literally dogpiled by the enemy wolfpacks in an attempt to kill it! it takes four entire packs of wolves, and the two that were poisoned die soon after the attempt, but the Gert is unfortunately slain. The remaining Wolf Pack gets revenge on the Tamed Wolf Pack, dealing 2,500 damage.

The Gert didn't last long, but that extra HP allowed it to prevent any of the Wolves from attacking the party members. Rest in Peace, Gert. Rest in Peace.

Then all still poisoned players - FlamingFlapjacks/Carleah, That-Random-Guy, and Totally Not Dagoth - take 1,000 damage apiece!

[RPG] RPGModder: 17/20 HP, Debugging the Game (Will be done next turn!)

[RPG]2 Wolf Packs: 10,000/10,000 HP X 2, 2,500 ATK X 2
3rd Wolf Pack: 6,250/10,000 HP, 2,500 ATK

[RPG]Mad Taxi: 20,000/20,000 HP, 5,000 ATK, Can induce Crying with its fumes!

[P]Tamed Wolf Pack: 7,500/10,000 HP, 2,500 ATK

The Players:
FlamingFlapjacks: 7,999/9,999 HP, Poisoned!
That-Random-Guy: 7,999/9,999 HP, Poisoned!
The_Two_Eternities: 8,999/9,999 HP
Totally Not Dagoth: 7,999/9,999 HP, Poisoned!
Splashcat: 8,999/9,999 HP
JOEbob: 9,999/9,999 HP, a wagonfull of Potions, a boatload of Gag Items
ParadoxDragonPaci: 8,999 HP

(x1) Looking over the debugging RPGModder, i prepare a backup of this particular version in case something happens.

(x1)I continue my Animal Communication, branching up into a Communion Combo Skill of [[Sermon of Nature's Peace]] targetting another wolf pack

(x1) Sharpen Skill activates, +1 CP
CP:3

FOCUS: I grab the exclamation marks off of all poisoned players' statuses, which greatly reduces their intensities. Then I paint the !s orange and hold them up in the air, making them look like quest markers. Finally, I glue them to the roof of the Mad Taxi. It's quickly mobbed by players looking for quest rewards.

[1x] I start singing. my song goes a little something like this...
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs!
Take one down, patch it around...
127 little bugs in the code, 127 little bugs!
Take one down, patch it around, 148 little bugs in the code!
148 little bugs!
Take one down, patch it around, 159 little bugs in the code!
Through this ineffable law of coding, as well as pointing out that the RPGmodder was coded by the RPG-makers and so if it had bug-fixing capabilities all the bugs would already be gone because the RPG makers would just use that capability earlier, I prevent the RPGmodder from removing bugs from the game code. They can remove Specific bugs, of course, but there will always be more.

[1x] I give all the tamed wolves leather armor. It's a very special sort of leather armor, though. Putting it on heals them each for exactly one health-because all armor gives a health bonus of at least one- but more importantly, in exchange for having a loot bonus of -200% as a set, and an XP bonus of -99%, It has positive offensive ID's in spades! It's the sort of item you wear when you want something that isn't an item or leveling up, like finishing a quest or Not Dying. It grants increased melee attack damage- as a percentage- and lowers the cost for the first spell for whatever class the wolves have to 0. Since it's lowering spell costs there to zero, it also has -10 mana steal, enough to keep anyone from using spells with mana on a 20-mana system, but to compensate it's got stellar Life-steal, not to mention all the stat boosts for dexterity and agility, or the poison it imbues its attacks with. I wouldn't be surprised if these wolves ripped through the remaining packs of wolves while staying at full health!

[1x] +1 CP.

I use my PURE HEROIC SPIRIT to fire a HERO BLAST, at the RPGMODDER, before using my LIMIT BREAK: CLICHE CUT. With the power of all my cliches, I jump and raise my blade... and then subvert everything by just dropping down and punching him in the face.

Player Responses!:

QUOTE (Paradoxdragonpaci @ Apr 16 2020, 09:47 PM)

(x1) Looking over the debugging RPGModder, i prepare a backup of this particular version in case something happens. (x1)I continue my Animal Communication, branching up into a Communion Combo Skill of [[Sermon of Nature's Peace]] targetting another wolf pack (x1) Sharpen Skill activates, +1 CP CP:3

You manage to backup the game! This will be useful, but if it ever has to be deployed, the RPGmodder will most assuredly be reset to this state too, so use it wisely.

You do so, but there was a slight misfire! It seems the 'Hippie State' triggered, meaning the Wolves, while tamed, don't go under your control. However, because of the Hippie State, they wander off, effectively removing them from the battle!

CHURG

QUOTE (Splashcat @ Apr 16 2020, 10:51 PM)

FOCUS: I grab the exclamation marks off of all poisoned players' statuses, which greatly reduces their intensities. Then I paint the !s orange and hold them up in the air, making them look like quest markers. Finally, I glue them to the roof of the Mad Taxi. It's quickly mobbed by players looking for quest rewards.

You manage to halve the Poison in this way! However, it seems the player mob is not enough, and the taxi still clings to life and insanity! Still, 15,000 damage is not bad.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ Apr 17 2020, 06:25 AM)

[1x] I start singing. my song goes a little something like this... 99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs! Take one down, patch it around... 127 little bugs in the code, 127 little bugs! Take one down, patch it around, 148 little bugs in the code! 148 little bugs! Take one down, patch it around, 159 little bugs in the code! Through this ineffable law of coding, as well as pointing out that the RPGmodder was coded by the RPG-makers and so if it had bug-fixing capabilities all the bugs would already be gone because the RPG makers would just use that capability earlier, I prevent the RPGmodder from removing bugs from the game code. They can remove Specific bugs, of course, but there will always be more. [1x] I give all the tamed wolves leather armor. It's a very special sort of leather armor, though. Putting it on heals them each for exactly one health-because all armor gives a health bonus of at least one- but more importantly, in exchange for having a loot bonus of -200% as a set, and an XP bonus of -99%, It has positive offensive ID's in spades! It's the sort of item you wear when you want something that isn't an item or leveling up, like finishing a quest or Not Dying. It grants increased melee attack damage- as a percentage- and lowers the cost for the first spell for whatever class the wolves have to 0. Since it's lowering spell costs there to zero, it also has -10 mana steal, enough to keep anyone from using spells with mana on a 20-mana system, but to compensate it's got stellar Life-steal, not to mention all the stat boosts for dexterity and agility, or the poison it imbues its attacks with. I wouldn't be surprised if these wolves ripped through the remaining packs of wolves while staying at full health! [1x] +1 CP.

The RPGmodder's project is stalled by one turn, but the RPGmodder does some math and proves that his INT is higher than the combined INT of the dev team, so he should be able to do something. And the fact that glitches still exist gives him an idea...

You boost the Wolves' stats! However, due to a glitch in trying to give class boosts to something without class to boost, they fail to get the poison strikes. You get the feeling that the RPGModder might have 'overlooked' this glitch.

CHURG

QUOTE (FlamingFlapjacks @ Apr 17 2020, 12:53 PM)

I use my PURE HEROIC SPIRIT to fire a HERO BLAST, at the RPGMODDER, before using my LIMIT BREAK: CLICHE CUT. With the power of all my cliches, I jump and raise my blade... and then subvert everything by just dropping down and punching him in the face.

You actually catch him off guard with the sucker punch. 1 damage!

====================================================================

EoTB:

The RPGModder continues his debugging. He's getting a bit frustrated, but he still has an action he's willing to spend.

For his other action, he notices the downturn in attackers and decides to CHURG himself for mysterious reasons. Highly suspicious...

The Tamed Wolf Pack attacks the Wounded Wolf Pack renew their grudge match, emboldened by the leather armor. 3,750 damage to them, but it seems that some backup would be much appreciated, especially since the enemies bring it down to 2,500 health in their retaliation.

Then all still poisoned players - FlamingFlapjacks/Carleah, That-Random-Guy, and Totally Not Dagoth - take 500 damage apiece thanks to Splashcat's thinking!

[RPG] RPGModder: 16/20 HP, Debugging the Game (Will be done next turn after the delays!), 1 GMCP

[RPG]Wolf Pack: 10,000/10,000 HP, 2,500 ATK
Wounded Wolf Pack: 4,500/10,000 HP, 2,500 ATK

[RPG]Mad Taxi: 5,000/20,000 HP, 5,000 ATK, Can induce Crying with its fumes!

[P]Tamed Wolf Pack: 2,500/15,000 HP, 3,750 ATK

The Players:
FlamingFlapjacks: 7,499/9,999 HP, Poisoned
That-Random-Guy: 7,499/9,999 HP, Poisoned
The_Two_Eternities: 8,999/9,999 HP
Totally Not Dagoth: 7,499/9,999 HP, Poisoned
Splashcat: 8,999/9,999 HP
JOEbob: 9,999/9,999 HP, a wagonfull of Potions, a boatload of Gag Items
ParadoxDragonPaci: 8,999 HP, Has a backup of the game at Update 3 (1st post is update 0)

(x1)I Meta-contextualise, and realise that hacking events have been a staple of DTG style games, and thus in the spirit and flow of such events, i manifest the White Hat Hacker, now normally this would be an entity summon, and the Godmodder or equivalent would summon a Black Hat Hacker, but i boost the White Hat Hacker and they perform a suicidal lethal move to instantenously finish their Special and Unhack the Game thus undoing the RPGModder's Debug

(x1) i then proceed to un meta contextualise via Ultimate Self BS and continue my Beastmaster skillcombo. Now, little known fact about skills. In certain cases, a skill from one tree may receive bonuses from another tree or class, though this is usually only unlocked via an Achievement for Multi-classing, a difficult Quest and one or two other requirements. Either way, i cast a Modified version of [[Veterinary's Aid]] to also use my Bard's Class power and my Cleric Class power. I basically sing a bit of a hymn iof healing while using infused bandages.

(x1)Power-Storing Skill activates !!
CP:4

Action 1: I call up some insect rights activists and get them to protest the debugging of the game. The RPGmodder is so confused by why they're protesting a metaphorical debugging that he forgets to actually debug!

Action 2: I attaxi the taxi. Terrible pun, I know.

Action 3: I charge 1 CP.

CP: 1.

[1x] I calmly explain that while the RPGmodders INT may be small- er, large- er then the Dev Teams, he was still existent in the game during developement because he must have been created at that point (and he was a part of the game, as mentioned in the intro, not some guy who broke in with magic), and the Dev Team would have to be ridiculously stupid idiots to not use an instantiation of the RPGmodder to help them with the debugging (and everything Else in the game, really) once they'd made it. So, even though the RPGmodder is smarter then the Dev Team, he's not smarter then the best Debugging/Coding software the Dev Team had available, which was likely himself. He'll logically only be able to make marginal improvements, or only clear up an issue by making more problems, because the game should be as good as all internal system agents can make it.
[1x] Seeing the Wolves are so injured, I retrieve one of my gag items. its nature is a bit of a stretch on first glance, but ... well, you see, like Dodegar's Ultimate Weapon, it's a very high-level item- A Staff, or stick, or wand or what have you, so I can wield it- but all of its stats are... Ridiculously low. It has 0 to one water damage, which is even worse then Dodegar's 1-1 damage, but it gives you -700,000 poison damage, -280% spell damage, -700,000 linear spell damage, and -280% main attack damage. If you use this thing in combat, you will heal your opponents by 700,000 damage every 3 seconds, and do no damage, and that's if you have the best stats in its random range possible.
...It does have One use. an unusually high mana regen stat, making it a stellar item for travelling long distances with repeated movement spells. but even then, there are better options.
In this particular case, though, the item is quite helpful; I whack the tamed Wolves on the head with it, one at a time, and rapidly rejuvenate them.

[1x] I charge one General Motors CP, a special type of CP represented by a pile of general motors vehicles ten stories tall balanced on my head. I then put that CP (and my head) in my inventory so it doesn't fall down until I'm ready.

1x: I take all of the ", Poisoned" parts out of the EoTB and crumple them into a ball of letters.

1x: I then throw the ball at one of the hostile Wolf Packs, and it decoheres into letters which then become part of the ball.

(not an action): I place the ball to the side. This actually gives me an idea for an entity.

1x: I cast Full Heal on the Players. This works because the poison hasn't actually dealt too much damage. What? Hang on. The bean counters are telling me that the Players have taken 10,500 damage so far. Well, I never cared about what they had to say, anyway! Time for some bean embezzlement! HP-restoring food is a common trope. A less common trope, however, is food being used as a reagent in a healing spell. One bean, in this game, contains 500 HP worth of healing magic. 1 action is enough to buy 20 beans. However, with bean embezzlement, 1 action can... acquire... 21 beans! Enough to fully heal all of us Players!

CP: 2

[3x] I kachow as hard as I can, in order to boost my Speed attribute.

+3 CP