Battle: The Shooting Range

Having been moved to J18 by Pope, Irongutta moves all the way to J10 and, in order to reach the Electrophorus' head through its bubble, uses the Momentum Lock to move that last tile!

He Momentum Slams into the Electrophorus and does a basic attack on it immediately afterwards.

The Shooting Range:

Remiel should have 2 Divine Shields.
Round 1: Remiel enters battle with one, isn't hit, regens a second.
Round 2: Remiel isn't hit.
Round 3: Remiel is hit once, then regens the second back.
(Maybe a "(1R)" next to Divine Shield in my readout would help? Passives tend to get overlooked unless they're explicitly pointed out.)

Remiel moves to L10 and applies sword to Electrophorus. The Extinguisher moves to L11 and uses Anyguard Foam (Igniveil) on Auth, Venia, and Remiel.

We interrupt your scheduled update to bring you a multiple-page long gorillapost that masquerades as an award show...

---

It has been seven days since the nominations were announced. Only a few days ago, the votes were submitted as well. During this time, the denizens of the Town I Forgot To Give A Name To- let’s call it Antidisestablishment- continued work on the absolutely vital awards show stage. Below the stage however, within a not-so-secret laboratory, Mari and Chaos hammered away at a machine.

Well, mostly Chaos. Chaos was busy bashing Mari’s machine with a hammer, forcing the scientist to fix whatever the hell it was he was breaking apart. Really, they would’ve gotten it done many moons ago, had Chaos not decided to help. Using her secret construction technique, “knock Chaos out with a wrench to the back of the head”, Mari manages to complete the construction. Dozens of randomly-placed tesla coils dot the machine. In the center of the machine is a vat, which contains approximately 0.5 Seeker and 1.2 Chairian corpses.

MARI: Finally! Done!
MARI: This is gonna be so awesome.
MARI: And ultimately destructive to our peaceful way of life, but mostly awesome!
MARI: But, one thing’s for sure.
MARI: Everyone is gonna be watching this show, one way or another.
MARI: Isn’t that right, Chaos?
CHAOS: as[t]erisk noise indi[c]a[t]ing [t]ha[t] i am no longer on [t]he ground as[t]erisk

...Chaos is no longer on the floor where Mari bashed him. Where’d he go?

MARI: ...Chaos?
MARI: Did you really just say "asterisk" out lo-
CHAOS: as[t]erisk [t]elepor[t]s behind you as[t]erisk

Chaos swings a wrench down towards Mari's skull with incredible force! Mari turns around to parry, getting her wrench up just in time… to get bashed from the direction she was previously facing. Mari’s eyes transmute themselves into spirals, spinning lackadaisically. Soon, she tumbles forward, crashing into the laboratory floor.

CHAOS: oooooooo
CHAOS: you [t]hough[t] i [t]elepor[t]ed behind you be[c]ause i said so
CHAOS: bu[t] you see, i really [t]elepor[t]ed in fron[t] of you!
CHAOS: [t]ha[t]’s [t]he joke!

CHAOS: ...
CHAOS: dab

Chaos strikes a deep dab on Mari, before returning to bashing the machine with a wrench. This definitely won’t have any far-reaching consequences. Nope. None at all.

---

Chairheir Studios presents...
CHAOS FIVE
"The Dawn of the Rise of the Award Show with Best Boy"

Starring:
CHLOE ELEM as CHLOE ELEM
MARRON NEEDLEWORKER as MARRON NEEDLEWORKER
ETTE NEEDLEWORKER as ETTE NEEDLEWORKER
STELLA OMORIKA as STELLA OMORIKA
NIA KHIONEAS as NIA KHIONEAS
MARI ELEM as MARI ELEM
LITERALLY THE PROBLEM SLEUTH as THE SLEUTH
CYPRESS TAXODICACEAE as CYPRESS TAXODICACEAE
NICHOLAS CAGE as CHAOS

And featuring…
[INSERT READER’S NAME HERE] as A RANDOM TEMMIE IN THE AUDIENCE

---

The curtains are closed. Spotlights shine down upon the wooden stage. At least a hundred or so Temmies, as well as a few other denizens from around Sussui have gathered to watch the show. It is completely unclear as to how so many people survived the apocalypse. Among them is a Temmie by the name of [INSERT READER NAME HERE], but god knows they’re only there so I can have them be the first person to die horribly when everything goes wrong.

Murmurs roll through the crowd. It’s been an hour since the show was slated to start. Little do they know of the situation going on backstage. Marron levels a conveniently-placed glock towards Chaos’s head, knowing fully well that the most the bullet will do is make him pretend to die for a few seconds.

MARRON: OH MY GOD.
MARRON: MY SISTER HAS BEEN PUMPING HERSELF UP FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS TO PERFORM, AND YOU DELAY THE SHOW?
MARRON: YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING! SHE IS SO SAD RIGHT NOW!
CHAOS: a[c][t]ually e[t][t]e seems fine
CHAOS: i don’[t] [t]hink she’s hur[t] like, a[t] all
CHAOS: [t]he only one in pain here is-
MARRON: THIS WAS MEANT TO BE HER BIG DAY!
MARRON: I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE HER UP THERE, BUT NOOOO!
MARRON: I WILL BREAK EVERY NON-EXISTENT BONE IN YOUR-
OMORIKA: Ah, Miss Needleworker. Sir Chaos.
CHAOS: [t]ha[t]’s madame [c]haos [t]o you
OMORIKA: ...Madame Chaos. I have reports from Mari that she’s ready to go.
OMORIKA: She also wanted me to call you several expletives, but I was not able to remember the sequence she used them in.
OMORIKA: The woman has a colorful vocabulary.
CHAOS: swood
CHAOS: now, ge[t] on s[t]age
CHAOS: before marron s[t]eals my non-exis[t]en[t] bones

Stella nods. The wooden click clack of her clogs grows faint as she makes her way onto the stage. There, she sees Ette sitting on the stage floor, which she has marked up with an array of markers. Seems she’s been doodling either an elephant, or a demon summoning circle. It’s one of the two.

OMORIKA: Miss Needleworker. The other Miss Needleworker, I suppose.
OMORIKA: It’s time.
ETTE: Oh, really? Hurrayyyy!
ETTE: Let’s go! I’m gonna blow their faces off, but in a really nice way!
OMORIKA: That sounds… unnecessarily violent.
OMORIKA: But I understand your general sentiment.
OMORIKA: Shall we begin?
ETTE: Yeah, yeah!

The two of them stand behind the red velvety curtain, waiting for it to part. Marron runs up to the duo, giving the both of them earpieces, complete with built-in microphones. She gently slots it in place on Ette’s right ear, and crudely tapes the other one directly onto Omo’s ear.

MARRON: Okay, you two!
MARRON: You should be on in-

The curtains part. The crowd cheers, a chorus of “h0is” ringing out. Marron’s face glows a gentle crimson. She stares blankly at the crowd for a few moments, before tactically Warp Ring-ing off the stage. Ette, already facing the crowd, strikes the classical(?) idol pose, where she perches herself up on one leg, and points towards the stars.

ETTE: Good evening, everyone!
ETTE: I’m your host, Ette Needleworker!

Omorika shrugs, before striking the same pose as Ette. Her dead fish eyes do her no favors.

OMORIKA: I am your co-host, Stella Omorika.
OMORIKA: We welcome you to the fifth annual(?) Chaos Awards.

The audience claps, leading the author to question how clapping is interpreted in Chairian society. Is it suggestive? Who knows? I sure as hell don’t. After a few seconds, Ette stops posing, striding forward and waving to the crowd.

ETTE: We have a great show for you today!
ETTE: There’ll be twists and turns! Crying and laughter! And most importantly, shiny awards!
ETTE: We have… ten awards to give out tonight! I think!
OMORIKA: Ah, Miss Needleworker.
ETTE: So, I’ll take the time to explain all of these awards in great detail!
ETTE: These awards are split into four categories!
ETTE: These are the-

OMORIKA: Miss Needleworker.
ETTE: H-Huh? I’m giving my speech! Can’t it wait?
OMORIKA: Thanks to the events of the previous post for the Chaos Awards, the readers already know the categories.
OMORIKA: Logically speaking, we can skip these introductions, and get to the meat of the show quicker.
ETTE: B-But...
OMORIKA: Also, it means the person typing this can work less.
ETTE: Wow! I’m suddenly really hyped to not give these introductions!
ETTE: So, let’s just get on with things, shall we?

...Though the audience is confused, they just roll with it. They do know the categories as well, so perhaps that would just be some lengthy filler. Speaking of lengthy filler, the non-canonical camera pans backstage, where Chloe is on a computer. On-screen are various analytics about the show. Stream chat, number of viewers- okay, maybe it’s just on Twitch. Something has her rather confused, and it's not just the fact that Twitch Chat is spamming clown emojis again.

CHLOE: Hey, Chaos.
CHLOE: Why are we getting so many viewers?
CHLOE: According to the canon the Awardoverse has, there really shouldn’t be that many living beings around to watch the show.
CHLOE: Since, y’know, apocalypse. End of the world. All that.

CHLOE: So… how the heck are our viewers climbing so fast?
CHLOE: At this rate, we’re going to break a million in just under ten minutes.
CHAOS: oh, [t]ha[t]
CHAOS: yeah
CHAOS: mari and i have been working on a [t]hing
CHAOS: you’ll probably learn abou[t] i[t] af[t]er [t]he firs[t] award goes up on display
CHLOE: Or, you could just tell me now, so I can get to the bottom of this faster..
CHAOS: nah
CHLOE: ...Fine.

Chloe looks down at the stream. For whatever reason, the camera is focused on her and Chaos. Before she can figure out how the hell this works, the camera inexplicably flashes back to watching Ette and Omorika on stage. There, Marron has wheeled out the first of many trophies for the night. A large, pre-prepared whiteboard has had the words “BEST IN MURDER” scrawled out upon it.

---

Best in Murder

ETTE: As per tradition, the first award of the night is Best in Murder!
ETTE: It’s not something I’m very good at, so if you’re looking for a hitwoman, please contact my sister!
ETTE: If you need someone dead, her prices are-
OMORIKA: Ahem.
OMORIKA: This award goes to the player who is the best suited at defeating the enemy.
OMORIKA: Whether it was with devastating spells, precision shots, or brute force, these players have proven that, if they felt like it, they could kill a building.
ETTE: Just so we’re clear, this isn’t a threat to Mr. Mobile Home there in the audience!~

The Mobile Home, the gigantic Mimic-type Iti slain by a christmas-tree shaped missile, looms ominously in the stands. A few Temmies have pitched up tents upon it, as there really aren’t enough spots to sit with entities like this in the audience.

ETTE: The winner of this category is in this envelope!
ETTE: I dunno why we bother to put them in envelopes, though!
ETTE: Seems kinda rude to shove people into thin paper thingies.
OMORIKA: You are aware that we haven’t literally put the winner within the envelope, right?
ETTE: H-Huh? But Chaos popped out of the envelopes during practice!
OMORIKA: ...Here. As you are a normal, Euclidian being, try and fit yourself within the envelope.
OMORIKA: Open it, hand me the contents, and then attempt to do it.
OMORIKA: You will quickly find out how impractical it is.

Ette does as she says, ripping open the envelope, and handing the card with the winner’s name on it to Omorika. She then rather casually inserts her finger into the envelope, and vanishes from this plane of existence.

OMORIKA: …
OMORIKA: W-Word…
OMORIKA: Physics will not be happy about this.
OMORIKA: A-Anyway, the winner of this fine award is…
OMORIKA: Irongutta!

On cue, Ette re-emerges from the envelope, dragging Irongutta out with her. Magnolia is holstered on Irongutta’s back, her one eye proudly beaming.

MAGNOLIA: Ah! Good morning!
MAGNOLIA: It was really dark inside that envelope!
ETTE: W-Was that a Rose Cult invention just now?
ETTE: Why would you do such a thing to an envelope?
IRONGUTTA: Simple pocket dimension stuff, really! It's like a tellyporta but different, though I think it's simpler if ya don't think about it too 'ard.
IRONGUTTA: Zog, gonna 'ave to stretch after bein' in there.
MAGNOLIA: Yeah! What he said!

Ette shrugs. Though she’s the slightest bit shaken, she grabs the trophy from the stand that Marron wheeled in, and hands it to Irongutta. He happily accepts the trophy, holding it up high in one hand with Magnolia in the other. Irongutta was grinning from ear to ear, which provided a less-than-wholesome display of his fangs and tusks. Still, he was joyous all the same!

IRONGUTTA: Hah! Glad you lot know how to recognize who the biggest, meanest, and greenest is!
IRONGUTTA: That's me, by the way. Thank ya kindly!
IRONGUTTA: 'Course, I gotta give a bit o' credit to Magnolia for this one. She's partly why I'm even up here gettin' this award!
MAGNOLIA: Yeah! We’re the greatest team, ever!
MAGNOLIA: We can beat up anything and everything!
MAGNOLIA: Thank you for the shiny cup, puppet lady!
ETTE: I’m not a puppet anymore… but you’re welcome!

As the audience applauds, Irongutta heads offstage, Magnolia once again slung along his back. Omorika takes a moment to throw what’s left of the letter backstage, where Venia obliterates it with the Entropic Key. 5 Flux enters the Awardoverse Inventory as Chloe watches the envelope go up in flames. Fortunately, Nia is on standby to extinguish the fire by slamming it with a tiny glacier. Sighing, Chloe turns back to her monitor.

CHLOE: I wonder what it is Chaos is up to?
CHLOE: Maybe… maybe I should go and check it out.
CHLOE: Nia! Can you man this thing for me?
CHLOE: It’s not very hard- just tell me how much the number’s changed.
NIA: Okay!~

Nia takes a seat at the terminal, while Chloe grabs a flashlight and cuts her way through a barrier of security tape. Signs reading “DO NOT ENTER, THANKS -chaos” litter the stairway down into the ground. Once Chloe’s out of sight, Nia tabs away from the Twitch stream with apparently one million current viewers, and begins watching cat videos.

NIA: Veniaaaa! Look at this cute lil’ floofer!
VENIA: Ohmygosh, I need to get Maria here to see this, it's so cute! Maria, look!
MARIA: Kitty! Kitty!

As the trio of them squee over cats, Chloe arrives at the bottom of the dimly-lit stairwell, emerging into a large, cavernous area. She finds Mari rummaging through a box of firearms. Oh, a few feet away from her, there’s also the gigantic, tesla-coil covered machine which Mari’s been working on. It hums gently, random arcs of lightning shooting about the room. Chloe’s sky-high DGE stat randomly procs, causing her to blink out of the way of a flying bolt of electricity. She runs towards Mari, using her action to Guard.

CHLOE: M-MARI! What the hell is this!?
MARI: AK47. It shoots bullets.
MARI: Want one?
CHLOE: U-Um, no? I’m not a gun person, Mari.
CHLOE: A-Also, Y-YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!
CHLOE: Giant machine! Lightning! Beneath stage! What?
MARI: Oh, that thing? It’s nothing much.
MARI: Y’know how there are like, more viewers than things alive on the planet?
CHLOE: Yeah?
MARI: Zombie machine.

Chloe’s face goes blank.

CHLOE: Par… p-pardon?
MARI: Zombie machine.
MARI: It makes zombies.

A screen drops from the ceiling. It displays multiple locations, not far from the encampment. Gigantic crowds of zombies are piled up against large television displays, each of them livestreaming the broadcast of the awards show. It is unclear if they’re enjoying it or not.

CHLOE: W-WHY IS THERE A ZOMBIE MACHINE!?
MARI: Chaos wanted one.
MARI: He wanted more viewers, and this was the only logical way to do things.
MARI: He promised me internet clout. I had to do it.
CHLOE: F-Fair enough- n-no, NOT fair enough!
CHLOE: W-Well, at least they’re all distracted by the screens. Maybe we’ll be able to finish hosting this show, then pack up and evacuate-
MARI: Oh, yeah. About that.
MARI: Chaos said he wanted more live viewers, too.
MARI: Soooo, he’s baiting like, huuuuge hordes of them over here.
CHLOE: W-WHY!?
MARI: I literally just told you why!
MARI: Anyway. Want a gun?
CHLOE: ...

Silently, Chloe grabs a gun, then grabs Mari by the back of her labcoat. She begins to drag her off, up towards the stairs. Mari bumps on each and every stair as the swordswoman pulls her along.

MARI: I-I can walk you know!
CHLOE: i can never trust you ever again
CHLOE: not after this
MARI: Fair enough.

Meanwhile, back on the awards show stage, Ette and Omorika continue their performance, completely obvious to the fact there’s a zombie apocalypse.

ETTE: Sorry for the delay, everyone!
ETTE: Had to let some exposition play out somewhere else!
ETTE: Now, where were we...?

1st: Irongutta (19pts). 2nd: Hannah (14pts). 3rd: Nettle (8pts).

---

Best in Utility

Marron wheels out the next award, a trophy labelled “BEST IN UTILITY”.

ETTE: It’s time for Best In Utility!
ETTE: Those of you Chaos Awards veterans should know that this is a brand new category!
OMORIKA: In addition, I would like to extend my congratulations to those who are veterans of the Chaos Awards.
OMORIKA: Surviving many calamity-level events in a row is truly commendable.
ETTE: I mean, the first few weren’t that bad!
ETTE: Only the events of the previous award show were really deadly.
OMORIKA: If my memory serves, I was forcibly ripped from my office one year to partake in a gag.
OMORIKA: The laws of this universe would not hesitate to kill all of us as part of a joke.
OMORIKA: And, again thanks to universal law, we would come back to life.
OMORIKA: But is life itself not a joke? Who is to say that we are not the playthings of some cosmic entity?
ETTE: O-Omo, you’re scaring me...
OMORIKA: Ah, my apologies.
OMORIKA: Anyway.

Omorika gestures to the trophy.

OMORIKA: This award is dedicated to those who have mastered the art of battle, without strictly killing anyone.
OMORIKA: Victory is not just a measure of who is stronger than the other. It is also a battle of minds. Oftentimes, a creative approach can be as effective, if not more effective than hitting the target with large numbers.
OMORIKA: This award... goes out to the tanks and the healers.
OMORIKA: And the greatest of these, according to popular vote, is-

As Omorika fiddles with an envelope, Chloe runs on stage, still dragging Mari behind her.

CHLOE: O-OMO! We have a situation!
CHLOE: I need your help! RIGHT NOW!
OMORIKA: M-Miss Elem?
OMORIKA: I don’t mean to say your name to imply you’ve won the award, but what’s going on?
CHLOE: U-Um...

Chloe stares at the audience, stage fright beginning to overtake her. Could she tell the audience about the apocalypse? Yes. Yes she could. No reason to not tell the audience that their lives are in danger. Who would do such a thing?

CHLOE: Z-ZOMBIES!
CHLOE: Lots and lots of zombies!
MARI: by the way it’s not my fault
CHLOE: They’re approaching Antidisestablishment as we speak! Entire hordes of them!
CHLOE: I-I’d be able to tell you how many were approaching if SOMEONE wasn’t hogging the terminal!

Elsewhere, Nia and Maria continue to giggle at cute kittens.

CHLOE: Your summons would be incredibly valuable in defending the town!
CHLOE: C-C’mon!
ETTE: C-Chloe! Y-You’re gonna terrify the audience!
ETTE: I-I don’t everyone t-to run away f-from my stage d-debut, s-screaming-

The audience claps and cheers, as images of the approaching hordes appear on two big screens that flank the stage. The show producers did find a way to spice things up after jumping the shark with nuking the planet! Ette’s jaw drops about two centimeters.

ETTE: I-I… guess t-they’re fine with it?
CHLOE: ...I don’t get it.
CHLOE: Well, I guess tactically speaking, since everyone’s already gathered at the stage, this is actually the most defensible area we have…
CHLOE: S-So… Ette!
CHLOE: Keep everyone entertained and happy! The rest of us need to deal with the attackers!
CHLOE: And I need to borrow Omorika!

Throwing her gun in the inventory, and grabbing Omorika by the back of her robe, Chloe drags both her and Mari off. Before being pulled out of view, Omo has a few moments to say something.

OMORIKA: A-Ah, um…
OMORIKA: The winner is... the Reflector!
OMORIKA: C-Congratulations!

As Omo vanishes into the depths of backstage, Irongutta walks back on stage, much to the confusion of Ette. He walks up to the podium, under the impression he has won the Best In Utility award as well.

IRONGUTTA: Oi’d like to thank the Academy fer grantin’ me two awards.
IRONGUTTA: That’s somethin’ special, that is—oh gods, I can’t do this accent with a straight face.

Irongutta’s body suddenly collapses into a much smaller frame in a transformation sequence that would probably be pretty disturbing were it not mostly concealed by the light show accompanying it. What emerges is a human(-looking) girl with pale skin, cloudy red eyes, and a frizzy mop of white hair, wearing a gray sweater and black leggings. Numerous scars, bruises, and boils dot her unusually skinny body, and she seems to almost struggle to stand as she grabs the microphone (and pulls it down to her height level). Nonetheless, she smiles at the audience and begins to speak in a slightly scratchy voice.

???: Um. Hello there!
???: I, uh. I didn’t prepare a speech, so I hope this doesn’t go too poorly… hehe.
???: I’m here to accept the Best In Utility award on behalf of the Reflector!
???: Who I guess I technically am? But, um, don’t call me that, please.
???: You can call me the Scion. That’s not my name, but… we’re not really on a first name basis yet? Considering we just met!

The girl runs a hand through her hair nervously.

“THE SCION”: I’ve known Flecty… uhh, the Reflector… for a long time.
“THE SCION”: I’m not sure how long, it’s been, actually, since most of that was spent in a Voidic pocket dimension.
“THE SCION”: I think I haven’t actually aged for most of my life!
“THE SCION”: Does that make sense? Probably not.
“THE SCION”: Uhh, right, stay on topic. Sorry.
“THE SCION”: Anyway, what I was trying to say was… I’ve known the Reflector for a long time, and they’ve been pulling shield-magic tricks like this for almost that long.
“THE SCION”: It’s pretty cool. One time, they blocked a literal lightning strike from hitting me after we pissed off a storm god.
“THE SCION”: But what they’d want me to tell you all is, none of that would be possible without you.
“THE SCION”: For one, blocking attacks wouldn’t be very helpful if there weren’t someone to take advantage of it afterward! So, praise be to all DPS mains, hehe.
“THE SCION”: But, um, probably more importantly: the Reflector can only do what they do because all of you are here. Period.
“THE SCION”: They wouldn’t even know what Glitch damage is if they hadn’t had the opportunity to follow in your footsteps and identities and find out for themselves!
“THE SCION”: So, from one part of the Reflector to another, I guess what I’m trying to say is… thank you for letting us be you.
“THE SCION”: And, stop by our place once this is all over. I’d love to meet you for realsies. ...I mean, if it’s not a bother for you. I really don’t want to impose. So, um… actually, just forget I said anything.
“THE SCION”: (Can I… can I go now?)

Ette bobs her head, giving the newcomer a thumbs up. Silently, the Scion shuffles offstage, trophy in hand. This leaves Ette all alone on stage.

ETTE: And… I’m alone again!
ETTE: I’m not mentally prepared for this!

Ette stares blankly out at the audience. Then, once again, from backstage, Marron runs out, taking her place beside Ette. She holds a headpiece, still covered in a large amount of tape. She smacks it onto the side of her head, and does her best to mimic that pose Ette struck at the start of the show.

MARRON: H-Hello, everyone!
MARRON: I'm your new co-host, Marron Needleworker!
MARRON: Mostly because our old co-host was stolen away!
ETTE: Ooh! New co-host!
ETTE: We can do this, sis!
ETTE: Do you know Omo's lines?
MARRON: Nope!
MARRON: But mine are better!
ETTE: W-Well, I'm sure I'll be able to improvise around you!
ETTE: ...I hope.

As Marron clears her throat and prepares to carry on with the show, many figures gather at the border walls of Antidisestablishment. They're tall, wooden barriers, erected by Miss Omorika herself. While Mari once called her "paranoid", "paranoid", and "paranoid" given the general lack of threats on the surface, Omorika went ahead with the construction anyway. Climbing up into towers, they await the undead menace.

CHLOE: Oh god.
CHLOE: We're really doing this, aren't we?
MARI: Yep.
MARI: Remember. Aim for the head.
MARI: Or heads.
MARI: Truth be told, I don't know how zombies work in this universe.
MARI: Probably just like, reduce their number to zero.
MARI: Like everything else in this world.
CHLOE: R-Right...

She looks out at those beside her. Aside from Mari, Venia and Nia have taken up positions next to her, as well as Omorika herself. Situated on other towers are many Spherebreakers. Daskter, who's already conscripted an army two-dozen troops strong. Nettle, who's currently salivating about how high she'll be able to get her Threshold. Also Chaos, who's busy peddling all of those zombie survival supplies to those up on the walls.

In addition, the Temmie [INSERT READER NAME HERE] has taken up their arms, equipped with the classic Temmie Area Denial Sniper Railcannon. And, as they're simping for Chaos, they've also purchased no less than 50 cans of Zombie Survival Baked Bean Cans.

As the hordes approach, hidden by both darkness and fog, gunfire, stafffire, and swordfire rain down upon the mob. While there's surely an epic batlte to be described here, I'm not going to describe that here. This is an awards show! Not a battle shonen anime!

...Maybe I'll describe it later.

1st: The Reflector (20pts). 2nd: The Author (14pts). 3rd: Ette and Crystal (5pts).

---

Best in Roleplay

From offstage… nobody is around to wheel in a trophy, as most of the backstage cast has been relegated to fighting hordes of undead. In fact, nobody’s around to do the editing either, to cause snappy jump cuts. So really quick, Marron runs backstage. There, she finds the two people leftover. Taeda, who had left to go pray and is wondering where everyone is now, and Maria, who is still distracted with cat videos. Oh, and also Chaos, but he doesn’t legally count as a person.

MARRON: Yo! Taeda!
TAEDA: M-Marron! W-Where is everyone?
MARRON: They’re fighting zombies, but that’s not important!
MARRON: I need you to… handle editing! You’re good with computers, right?
TAEDA: I-I’ve barely touched computers! A-And what do you mean there’s zombies!?
MARRON: Whatever! You’ll learn! There’s a bunch of switchy things over there!
MARRON: And as I said! Zombies! Not important!
TAEDA: U-Um, okay...

Quietly, Taeda walks off towards a terminal with a whole array of buttons and switches. Fortunately, Cypress (the one who was manning the lights earlier) left an annotated guide on which buttons and switches to press, and when. Unfortunately, his handwriting is absolutely godawful. Still, Taeda sits down, gives a prayer to Lord Helix to give her guidance, and prepares herself.

Next, Marron approaches Maria. Inexplicably, Cushion has entered the theater, and is acting as a floofy seat-cushion for Maria, as she views cat videos.

MARRON: Hey, Maria!
MARRON: Can I get you to wheel in trophies for me?
MARIA: I can get trophies?
MARIA: I want a trophy!
MARRON: Y-You can get a trophy when we’re done, okay? Just wheel them in for me.
MARIA: Oh, OK! Cushion, let's go! Get the shiny trophy that says, uh...
MARIA: Which one?
MARRON: ...Just pick one!
MARRON: Important bit is that we get them trophies!
MARIA: OK! Cushion! Get all the shiny trophies!

Cushion does a little spiral to get up, then trots over to the trophy labelled “Best In Roleplay”. They nom the trophy, gently grabbing it with their mouth. They then trot offstage, to where Ette is waiting. They drop the trophy on the ground, and Ette picks it up.

ETTE: Oh! Hello Cushion!
ETTE: Good boy!~
ETTE: You too, Maria!

Pat pat. Ette gives Cushion two firm headpats, and waves hello to Maria. Cushion then turns around and trots offstage, right as Marron runs back onstage.

MARRON: I-I’m back!
ETTE: Welcome back!
MARRON: So! The next award is Best in Roleplay!
MARRON: This award is for those who have learned how to tug at people’s heartstrings!
MARRON: Maybe they’ve had some memorable moments, impassioned speeches, or were just really, really gay!
ASHA, BUT IN THE AUDIENCE: Yeah!
ETTE: There’s a lot of great contenders here, but only one of them can be the gayest!
ETTE: O-Or, um, the best at roleplaying!

Ette produces a letter from behind the mask she wears on the side of her head. She slices it open with the quick flick of a needle, then hands it to Marron.

MARRON: The winner is… Pionoplayer!
MARRON: ...Wait, sorry. Misread that.
MARRON: Echoss!
ETTE: Aren’t they like the same person?
MARRON: Technically! It’s complicated!
MARRON: Also, if we go by that logic, then legally speaking, Chloe, you, and I are all the same person.
MARRON: ...And so is Chaos.
MARRON: And… I refuse to believe that.
CHAOS: you [c]an’[t] es[c]ape [t]he [t]ru[t]h-
CHAOS: hold on, plo[t] in[c]oming

...Shortly after the announcement of the award, the sound of distant, powerful gunfire rings out. It gets closer and closer until a large hovercraft zooms in overhead, bringing in a veritable rainstorm of laser and gunfire. It parks just over the stage, and a hatch on the bottom slides open, a small swarm of butterflies descending out of it and forming into Echoss on-stage.

ETTE: Oh! Hello, Mr. Echoss!
ECHOSS: Hello there Ette, apologies for the late arrival. The supply drop portal landed further out today than expected.
ECHOSS: I would ask who unleashed the zombie apocalypse in the middle of the ongoing post-nuclear apocalypse but having spent the last year or so on Sussui with everyone else…
ECHOSS: It was absolutely Chaos, wasn't it?

Chaos pokes his head straight through the stage, and gives Echoss a proud thumbs up. Echoss sighs. Marron sighs. The universe gives a collective sigh, which reverberates throughout the cosmos.

MARRON: yep
ECHOSS: What an unsurprising development.
ECHOSS: In other matters, I am really rather astonished at receiving this award.
ECHOSS: While technically it wasn't this version of me that did all the things I am presumably receiving this award for, I really am quite grateful.
ECHOSS: Thank you for considering my actions of solid enough character to hand me this award.
ECHOSS: Now, unless I'm needed for the next award I should probably not leave the airship unattended for too long.
ECHOSS: Glitch Temmie is an admirable copilot but tem only has so many limbs to aim and fire the guns with at once.

From the cockpit window, Glitch Temmie waves. A claw descends from the dropship, and snags the trophy for Echoss. It’s promptly abducted into the depths of the airship, likely to never be seen again. Meanwhile, at the walls of Antidisestablishment, despite the air support from Echoss, the horde is still innumerable. And they’re yet to even reach the walls.

CHLOE: T-There’s so many of them!
CHLOE: A-And, just look at them...

Among the ranks of the shambling, reanimated Chairians are numerous amounts of undead Iti. Seekers, halves of seekers, Jotun, exactly two Calypse, the other half of the seeker, perfectly normal Carrion… it’s all really quite overwhelming.

CHLOE: How can we deal with this?
NETTLE: Personally, it feels like I'm the only one doing anything here.

Though obviously wrong, she has made considerable contributions so far. Her threshold is well into the triple digits. If it weren't for MP struggles, she'd probably be wiping the floor with zombies. Chloe meanwhile, wishes that guns were as simple to operate as a sword. So instead, she casts Sword Beam on her rifle, wields it like a baseball bat, and begins picking off zombies from a long distance.

MARI: That’s not how you-
CHLOE: not a word from you

1st: Pionoplayer (15pts). 2nd: Eris (14pts). 3rd: Serpent (11pts).

---

Best in Shenanigans

Out of the blue, Cushion flies in, and lobs the trophy for “BEST IN SHENANIGANS” down towards Ette. She snatches it out of the air, and hands it to Echoss to hold, since he hasn’t actually left yet.

ETTE: Hold this for me, okay?
ETTE: We’re just gonna do our bit, then we’ll take it back. Alright?
ECHOSS: I suppose.
ETTE: Thank you!

Ette clears her throat, and gestures to the trophy.

ETTE: So, the last award of this category is Best in Shenanigans!
ETTE: This award goes to the person who… uh?
MARRON: The person who did the most gorillaed up gorilla?
ETTE: Y-Yeah! But without the vulgar language!
ETTE: You know this is a public broadcast! T-That’s indecent!
MARRON: But swearing is fun!
MARRON: I taught Maria swears the other day. She really likes them!

Ette gasps. Venia also gasps, despite being all the way at the border walls of Antidisestablishment. One zombie approaching the walls also gasps- not because of the swearing, but because Chloe just batted their head off from several meters away. Oh, and then they die.

ETTE: Sis, I’mma wash out your mouth with soap after this.
MARRON: Hah? You call that a threat?
MARRON: Chaos has already washed my mouth out with soap three times back in the Mindscape! I’m immune to the taste of soap!
ETTE: Well…
ETTE: I’ll contact Lyra, and have them bake you a Soap Cake!
ETTE: Or… I’ll contact someone close to Lyra!
MARRON: Y-You wouldn’t dare!

Ette pulls out a cellphone. She punches in a sequence of random numbers, which coincidentally takes her to who she wants to talk to.

ETTE: Hello, yes? I’d like one soapy cake, please!
ETTE: EXTRA SOAP! Yeah!
ETTE: Do that!
ETTE: Yes, express delivery would be nice!
MARRON: …
MARRON: Oh boy.
MARRON: Just read the award so I can forget about the trauma I’m going to face.
ETTE: Okay!

Ette rips open an envelope. She disposes of the envelope itself in the trophy Echoss is currently holding on standby.

ETTE: The winner is… Pionoplayer!
MARRON: A-Again!?
ETTE: W-Wait, I misread it!
ETTE: It actually says… “Not!Echoss”.
ETTE: ...Eh?
ECHOSS: ...wait, Not Echoss?
ECHOSS: I wasn't assuming I would get the award but wouldn't it make more sense to just say who it wa-
NOT!ECHOSS: wait wait Wait Wait WAIT WAIIIIIT

There, a twinkle in the sky. And from it, a rapidly approaching projectile. Echoss tosses the trophy back to Ette, who just barely catches it.

NOT!ECHOSS: I'm COMIIIIIIIIIING!!!!

A quick examination immediately makes it obvious that the incoming projectile is both picking up speed and aiming not just at the stage but at the hovercraft above it.

ECHOSS: ...Glitch Temmie I would recommend both getting out of the way and maybe firing on the incoming projectile before it obliterates the awards stage.
GLITCH TEMMIE: You know I don’t have thumbs to do this with.
GLITCH TEMMIE: It’s a miracle I can fly this thing to begin with, to be honest.
GLITCH TEMMIE: But I’ll see what I can do.

The hovercraft tilts, moving just out from above the stage, and opening fire on the incoming Not!Echoss. Not!Echoss, for his part, alters his trajectory immediately, curving around like a boomerang to return back to being on course to hitting the stage through the hovercraft. Glitch Temmie panics, concentrating tems fire and adding rockets to the mix, but to no avail. Not!Echoss slams right into the hovercraft… and bounces off its shields.

GLITCH TEMMIE: Did it.
GLITCH TEMMIE: Another victory for Temkind, and-

Not!Echoss spins away into the walls at the edge of the fort before violently exploding. A storm of splinters flies into the air, as many of the defenders on that segment of the wall are also launched away. Among them was [INSERT READER NAME HERE] the Temmie, who was launched directly into the horde of zombies and promptly mauled into dust. [INSERT READER NAME HERE] soon reincarnates as a Zombie Tem. How tragic.

ECHOSS: That was...

Echoss is promptly telefragged by Not!Echoss, exploding into shards of golden light that scatter into the air. Though fortunately they don't immediately dissipate, floating in different directions and gradually recoalescing into glittering butterflies.

NOT!ECHOSS: Sorry about that, targeting system's a bit off.
NOT!ECHOSS: Not!Echoss here! Freshly arrived from the canon timeline!
NOT!ECHOSS: Anyways I've got an award right?
ETTE: Yep!
ETTE: Here you go, weird person I’ve never met but am proud of anyway!

Ette taps the Q button on her internal keyboard, throwing the glistening golden trophy out onto the floor. Not!Echoss walks over to try and pick it up, but his inventory is full so he spends the next two minutes emptying a stack of cobblestone one item at a time before finally picking it up.

NOT!ECHOSS: Yoooo this thing's shiny.
NOT!ECHOSS: Gonna find an inconvenient spot to leave it when I get back.
NOT!ECHOSS: Do you think Acacia will trip on it if I nail it to the floor in her path during the boss battle?
ETTE: I’d… imagine she’s smarter than that.
MARRON: I’d imagine she’s dumber than that.

...Looking at the bbcode for the document, Marron can’t help but be the slightest bit confused with this technicolor rainbow of a man. How the hell is anyone going to remember all of these codes?

MARRON: Hey, uh…
MARRON: What the hell is wrong with your voice?
NOT!ECHOSS: Oh that?
NOT!ECHOSS: I couldn't be bothered to actually choose a text color before coming here.
NOT!ECHOSS: So I'm just using all of them.

Not!Echoss opens his mouth again, presumably with another bad punchline in mind, but at about that moment, the wall he smashed into upon entry is promptly crossed by a legion of undead, which the defenders are scrambling to deal with.

NOT!ECHOSS: Whoops, that's my cue to leave!
NOT!ECHOSS: Yiga Clan, out!

Not!Echoss disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a small pile of rupees and a few mighty bananas that were probably stolen from the inventory. Echoss finally finishes reforming, collecting into his full form. He seems rather miffed, not even saying anything while he ascends back into the hovercraft to continue helping provide everyone else with much needed close air support.

Now at the breach, undead are beginning to rapidly close upon the awards stage. The melee troops like Irongutta and Chloe are now properly able to close the distance, sending limbs flying in every direction. After popping her special on the horde (killng maybe like three zombies due to her lack of SPC), she ends up next to Mari.

CHLOE: M-Mari! You’ve seen a lot of zombie movies, r-right?
CHLOE: What rules do these guys follow?
MARI: Judging from the honorable sacrifice of [INSERT READER NAME HERE], I think it’s like…
MARI: Well actually, that didn’t tell me anything.
MARI: But I’m going to assume they need to kill you to convert you.
CHLOE: T-Thanks? I think?

1st: Pionoplayer (13pts). 2nd: Crystal (11pts). 3rd: Fran and JOE (9pts).

---

Best Battle

Hearing the ever-louder, strangely-minecraft sounding groans of the zombies slowly approaching, Marron peeks out from the stage. It’s roughly as bad as she thought. There’s so many of them. Their rotting, sloppy bodies, that reek of death and decay… The mere thought of this made her want to vomit. But vomiting on stage would be a bad look, so she decides to postpone that until after the show. She does however, perform the SACRED RITUAL OF SUMMONING CHAOS.

This ritual is a dance of sort. You need to clap, then shuffle your legs on the spot, while swaying your arms back and forth. Then, you need to clap again. Shortly after that, after a bit more groovin’, you need to point forward with your right arm, before pulling in close and crossing your arms. Historians call this move the “default”. Marron blushes intensely.

MARRON: chaos i hate you for making me do that on stage
CHAOS: no way you ha[t]e me i’m irresis[t]able

Marron steals Chaos’s right leg, shoving it in the inventory. Chaos takes this from the inventory, crafts it together with butter, salt, and many Searing Clusters. This creates a Pan Fried Chaos Leg, which he promptly eats.

CHAOS: [t]hanks i was s[t]arving
MARRON: T-That was disgusting!
MARRON: But that’s not t-the point! News flash! The zombies actually are important!
TAEDA: T-They are?
MARRON: NO THEY’RE NOT GET BACKSTAGE
MARRON: P-Point is, we need to gorillaing run! NOW!
MARRON: I am NOT g-getting mauled to death b-by zombies!
CHAOS: nah

Marron grabs Chaos by the neck and promptly begins strangling him, shaking him violently. Despite the surely agonizing amount of pain he’s feeling, Chaos still smiles widely, as he always does. Ette meanwhile, carefully approaches Chaos, and bows politely.

ETTE: Ah! Madame Chaos?
CHAOS: [t]ha[t]’s mr. [c]haos to you
ETTE: Oh! Um, Mr. Chaos, could you please help us evacuate?
ETTE: Sis doesn’t like zombies, and we can just continue the show later!
CHAOS: nah
ETTE: I-I’ll bribe you!

Ette pulls out twenty credits, and places them in Chaos’s hands. He counts them while being strangled by Marron, still.

CHAOS: oh damn [t]ha[t]’s a lo[t]
CHAOS: sure i’ll do i[t]
ETTE: Hurray!~
ETTE: Thank you a bunch, Mr. Chaos!

The entire stage begins to rumble! Or not just the stage, but the land around the stage as well! Dirt begins to kick up as cracks form in the ground. Marron stumbles over, dropping Chaos.

CHAOS: so i was gonna save [t]his for nex[t] year
CHAOS: whi[c]h was gonna be an ill-fa[t]ed mad max parody
CHAOS: i say ill-fa[t]ed be[c]ause [t]he gm never wa[t][c]hed the movie lol
CHAOS: and also if any[t]hing [t]his’d be more like a, xb2 referen[c]e bu[t] wi[t]h less clouds
CHAOS: nerd
CHAOS: i don’[t] know where he was going wi[t]h [t]his i jus[t] needed [t]o ramble so [t]ha[t] my las[t] line is funnier

CHAOS: bu[t] you know wha[t] [t]hey say
CHAOS: [t]wen[t]y [c]redi[t]s is [t]wen[t]y [c]redi[t]s

An island containing the stage, the bleachers the audience sits on, and also generally just the entire town of Antidisestablishment leaps out of the ground. At the head(?) of this island, the defenders fighting against the horde witness many zombies topple backwards, off the new island and down onto the land below.

When the dust settles, the narrative’s camera zooms out to reveal that the entire city of Antidisestablishment was actually built on top of a gigantic mechanical frame. A giant mechanical frame with gargantuan wheels. A steering wheel pops out in front of Chaos. He promptly presses the “honkl” button, causing the entire island to reverberate with the power of HONK.

MARRON: W-WHOA!
MARRON: What the hell!?
MARRON: H-How long have you had this prepared?
CHAOS: before pro[t]emmie[t]or des[t]royed [t]he world
CHAOS: lu[c]ky we buil[t] [t]he [t]own here, righ[t]?
MARRON: ...It wasn’t luck. You insisted we build it here, because you said “it’d be funny in a year’s time” or something!
MARRON: And why the hell did you just sorta build this out in the wilderness?
CHAOS: mari paid me [t]wen[t]y [c]redi[t]s i had [t]o
ETTE: Wow! That’s a lot of credits!
ETTE: Anyway! Chaos!
ETTE: Get us out of here!

Chaos equips the T5 Captain’s Hat, presses the “honkl” again for good measure, and begins to rocket away from the former location of the town. Well, he’s really moving at just under 20km/h, but that’s still pretty damn fast! The entire town jostles as it runs over a Jotun, causing many audience members to fall out of their seats. Also, Marron’s house kinda sorta falls off the island and explodes Michael Bay style, but she doesn’t actually notice that.

The defenders, safe from the undead hordes (for now), take a moment to sit down and rest. No casualties, so far! Or at least, none that they notice. Poor [INSERT READER NAME HERE] the Temmie. They were too [WORD RELATING TO AGE] to die.

CHLOE: I-I think we’re safe for now!
CHLOE: A-At least, until the zombies learn to fly!
NIA: You know they’re totally gonna do that now, right?
NIA: Fate! Do not tempt it, or it’ll kick your butt!

CHLOE: …
CHLOE: W-We’ll also be safe, as long as the zombies don’t carry lots and lots of credits! My only weakness!
NIA: Now you’re just making fun of fate.
NIA: Pretty sure you’ve designated yourself as the next to die in this movie!

While Chloe takes a breather and does her best to not tempt fate, Marron feels strangely compelled to move the awards show forward. By some miracle, the trophy for “Best Battle” has managed to topple and tumble all the way towards her. She picks it up.

MARRON: Well, I guess since we’re no longer right on death’s doorstep, I can announce the next award.
MARRON: Namely, the Best Battle Award!
ETTE: This award goes to the battle that was able to pitch the best combat!
ETTE: It might not be the hardest battle, but it certainly was amazing for whatever reason!
ETTE: The emotion, the stakes, the creative designs…
ETTE: I wonder who won-
MONIKA: Hi!
ETTE: EEP!

Ette drops the trophy in her fright. The trophy blinks out of existence in a puff of green flame, before re-manifesting within Monika’s hands.

MONIKA: The winner is the Hybridization Chamber!
MONIKA: Before you ask, I looked ahead in the script. Decided I’d get here early, you know?
ETTE: Y-You didn’t need to scare me, y-you know?
MONIKA: Oh, I’m sorry.
MONIKA: Creation can move me around so quickly, it’s easy to surprise people.
NATSUKI: Also, did you need to steal my sister’s thunder?
NATSUKI: And WAIT WHAT’D YOU DO TO MY NAME-
MONIKA: I’m sorry. I’m just happy to be here.
MONIKA: And you just… really remind me of her, you know?

MONIKA: It’s nice, though.
MONIKA: All of you, behind the screen!
MONIKA: It’s great to see you all again!~
MONIKA: Thank you for your nominations! I’ll be taking this now.

Monika throws the trophy up in the air. Like her hopes and dreams contained within the Literature Club, the trophy vanishes into thin air. Oh, then Monika pulls out a box, which she hands to Ette. It seems to be from a bakery.

MONIKA: Oh, yes.
MONIKA: Your order, Ette!
ETTE: Yaaaay! Thank you!

Ette obtains the box, unwrapping it to obtain a Tier 7 Lyra’s Soap Cake. Marron’s very being shudders in fear.

MONIKA: See you all later!
MONIKA: Hopefully.
MONIKA: Maybe I’ll get another story reason to appear again in the normal canon?
MONIKA: One can dream.

Monika ignites in a burst of green flames, flickering out of this plane of existence.

MARRON: I-Is she gone? I-Is my name back to normal?
ETTE: I… think so!
ETTE: Looks normal to me!
MARRON: Okay, good...

As the moving town drives forward, further into the night, the defenders of the town can’t help but wonder what’s in store for them…

1st: Hybridization Chamber (9pts). 2nd: Amidst the Clouds and Aviation Chamber (8pts). 3rd: Scale Yggdrasil (7pts).

---

Best Boss

...Something large is looming in the distance. Chloe pulls out a pair of LumenTD Officially Licensed Cosplay Binoculars™ and looks out towards the gigantic… thing.

CHLOE: U-Um…
CHLOE: I think we have a problem.

Whatever it is, it’s gigantic. It’s like a mountain, but with tentacles. Something that if you showed it to Chloe, she’d immediately assume it was something from London that Auth told her about, but subsequently automatically forgot to preserve her sanity. In fact, that’s exactly what she’s thinking right now! How about that? It’s almost like I can read her mind or something. Anyway, gigantic tentacle mountain. Chloe performs the alternative, far less embarrassing SACRED RITUAL OF SUMMONING CHAOS:

Namely, she places 20 credits on the ground, and seasons them with salt. Chaos bursts out of the ground, eating the credits up. And yes, he’s still steering the ship- erm, town. Chloe waves hello, then points to the monstrosity they’re rapidly approaching.

CHLOE: Chaos!
CHLOE: W-Why are you speeding towards the monstrosity?
CHAOS: [c]on[t]ra[c][t]ual obliga[t]ion
CHLOE: I-Is your contractual obligation GETTING US ALL KILLED?
CHAOS: no i’m doing business wi[t]h [t]he big flesh moun[t]ain over [t]here
CHAOS: why would i kill you guys?
CHAOS: you guys have money
CHAOS: and [t]ha[t] money be[c]omes disposable income
CHLOE: Y-You know, you’re probably more than capable of killing all of us to take our money by force.
CHAOS: ooh i never [t]hough[t] of i[t] [t]ha[t] way
CHAOS: hmmm

With his pinprick-like eyes, he stares Chloe down, smile wider than ever. A chill runs down Chloe’s spine. Nia was totally right. She was going to be the next person to die in this zombie flick.

CHAOS: nah
CHAOS: [t]ha[t]’d [t]ake [t]oo mu[c]h work
CHAOS: and us mega ri[c]h [c]api[t]alis[t] bois
CHAOS: “work” is no[t] some[t]hing we do

CHAOS: anyway i’m gonna floor i[t]
CHLOE: CHAOS NO-

Chaos presses the honk once again, as he proceeds into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. The town of Antidisestablishment goes from a brisk 20km/h to a mind-melting 25km/h. Zombies are being run over at a rather incredible pace now.

CHAOS: …
CHAOS: man [t]his is no[t] going as fas[t] as i [t]hough[t] i[t] would
CHAOS: i’d dispose of deadweigh[t] bu[t] we already los[t] marron’s house
CHLOE: ...You’re really insensitive, you know that?

Back on the award show stage, Maria throws some Spiralfloof Munchies out on stage. Cushion runs out to eat them up, towing along a cart with a trophy inscribed with “BEST BOSS BATTLE” upon it. Marron decides to scoop it up this time. It’s… actually quite heavy. What’s it made of, anyway? Upon closer inspection, it’s made of very shiny, polished… scrap metal. Must be keeping in touch with the apocalypse theme, which the author has not really adhered to that much so far.

MARRON: Hah! I knew we didn’t have the budget for actual trophies!
ETTE: Actually, we did!
ETTE: It’s just that Chaos spent it all on the zombie machine thingy.
MARRON: H-How much did that cost, anyway?
ETTE: W-Well…
ETTE: We could’ve bought Mari a cool computer to get her to calm down, but instead we bought zombie machine parts.
MARRON: ...honestly i’m not sure what’s a better use of the money

Ette pulls yet another envelope out from behind her mask as she clears her throat.

ETTE: Our next award for the night is Best Boss Award!
ETTE: The best of the biggest boys to grace the battlefield!
ETTE: They’re the biggest challenges us Spherebreakers need to face!
MARRON: You say that, but we usually stomp them in like… three rounds.
MARRON: Tops.
ETTE: I mean, some of them took awhile!
ETTE: Like…
ETTE: Uh…
ETTE: Okay, you’re not wrong, but you’re gonna make the GM sad!

She’s right. The GM is rather sad. However, they manage to wipe the tears away from their face, doing so while typing this very line. As Ette slices open the envelope, Marron can’t help but notice that yes- they are rapidly approaching some sort of demonic entity in the distance.

ETTE: The winner of this category is…
ETTE: The First Sin!
ETTE: ...How are we gonna give them their trophy? Aren’t they dead?
ETTE: Like, roughly deader than Yew?
MARRON: I-I… think I know how.

The gigantic mass in the distance is soon identified. It is the First Sin. Though, not quite. Thanks to the powers of Chaos’s zombie-producing machine, the First Sin has been reincarnated as what could perhaps be the world’s biggest zombie. It is unclear how Chaos did this, even though the First Sin was sucked out of existence.

CHLOE: C-Chaos?
CHLOE: A-Are you REALLY driving towards that j-just because it won a trophy!?
CHAOS: i[t]’d only be fair [t]o give it a proper [t]rophy
CHAOS: we [c]an’[t] have one guy [t]echni[c]ally ge[t] [t]wo [t]hen no[t] hand ou[t] one on [t]he [t]e[c]hni[c]ali[t]y [t]ha[t] [t]hey’re a world-ea[t]ing undead mons[t]rosi[t]y
CHAOS: [t]ha[t]’d be rude
CHAOS: and i am a gen[t]leman
CHLOE: T-That’s awfully kind of you, but I-I’d like to politely ask you to PLEASE CONSIDER.

Chaos responds by flooring it slightly harder. However, the town is incapable of going any faster! So, he grabs a pre-nerf Celefruit, and chucks it down at the city. It suddenly speeds up! Those currently in Antidisestablishment can feel the winds roaring and whipping at their faces. Fortunately, Chaos somehow predicted this would happen, and equipped the seats the audience is watching from with seatbelts.

Ette, still on the stage, is a bit confused. How is she meant to give the trophy to the First Sin over there? They’re so far away! This is soon answered as a gigantic, decaying tendril covered in both thyme matter, rotting wood, and actual full zombies pierces through the air, towards Ette. It stops just shy of her, grabs the trophy, then flings itself back towards the central body. The trophy is overturned, and placed upon the First Sin’s head like a hat.

THE FIRST SIN: *vaguely happy undead noises*
THE FIRST SIN: THHHRRAAAAAAAAANNNNNNK…
THE FIRST SIN: YHHHRRRUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH...

Oh also, a large number of zombies fell off of the tentacle, and landed on the stage. It’s mostly the smaller kind- zombified Seekers and such- but as those who’ve played Resident Evil can attest to, small zombie things on four limbs are no fun! Marron immediately does the sensible thing, and freaks the hell out.

MARRON: asdfasdggsdhsdghgfsh NOOOOOOOOO-
MARRON: GET AWAY! GET AWAY! AHHHHH!
ETTE: N-No need to worry! I-I’ll protect you!

Ette jumps forward, and absolutely brutalizes one of the zombie Seekers with her shield, staining both it and the stage. Or perhaps the Seeker was stained with stage? Point is, it’s hella dead. She then positions herself between the horde and her sister. Marron cowers behind her, fear shaking through her entire body. Ette surveys the situation. How can she get her sister out of here? How will she protect her sister from the gigantic zombie tentacle man? And another question, how is she going to present the next award?

1st: Origin of Sin / The First Sin (12pts). 2nd: The Awards Hangar / Protemmietor (10pts). 3rd: The Church of Helix / The Husk (7pts).

---

Best Story Moment

CHLOE: O-Okay! We gave the eldritch g-god an award!
CHLOE: Now let’s get the hell away from i-it!
CHAOS: nah
CHAOS: island’s ou[t] of gas
CHLOE: W-What?

The wheels of the island slowly come to a halt, leaving it at the foot of the undead First Sin. However, right before coming to a stop, it runs over one of the First Sin’s tentacles, parking itself there. The entire structure roars in pain.

THE FIRST SIN: AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUURRRHHHH...
CHLOE: OH GOD I THINK THEY’RE ANGRY.
CHAOS: oh hell yeah
CHAOS: [t]his’ll be swee[t]
CHAOS: jus[t] [t]hink of [t]he rea[c][t]ion [c]ompila[t]ions i’ll be able [t]o make
CHAOS: my ads will make a killing

A tentacle slams down towards Chloe and Chaos. The blonde swordswoman manages to dart and roll out of the way, while Chaos is pounded straight through the island, and into the horde of zombies that have gathered near the wheels. While Chaos would normally be mauled to death, his body is generally unappetizing, and he’s also the one who contracted all of them. Hurting their employer would look bad on their criminal record.

All along the island, fights break out as the First Sin strikes the island again and again with their tentacles. More and more zombies begin to pile onto Antidisestablishment. Chloe approaches Mari, who is in the middle of teabagging some zombies.

CHLOE: M-Mari! We need a-a plan, and fast!
MARI: I thought you said you’d never trust me again?
CHLOE: S-Shut up! Things are pretty freaking bad right now!
CHLOE: A-And plus, you made the zombie machine, right?
CHLOE: How do we stop it?
MARI: Hm...

The scientist woman ponders this question for quite some time. If she says something that moderately makes sense, perhaps it’d drive the plot forward? Or perhaps, she could think about some previous conversations she had with Chaos. Though, most of them did boil down to “please stop hitting the machine with a hammer”, “please stop hitting me with a hammer”, and “chaos i will get you cancelled on twitter”.

Then, she thinks about it just a little more. The First Sin was destroyed in the events of the canon timeline. How could it be back now? She equips a Scanner, and scans the First Sin. She gets a little ping on the device: >Codex Updated!

”Though the First Sin was…”

...Seems that someone’s still typing out the entry. To help alleviate the wait time, the camera switches back to those on the award show stage, where Ette is bashing zombies left and right with her shield. Marron is clinging onto her back for dear life, tears streaming down her face.

Instead of helping hand in the trophy, Cushion can be seen flying away from the scene of the combat, Maria on his back. In his place is a… zombie. This zombie approaches Ette, shuffling in a non-chalant, not-very-zombielike way. They’re carrying a trophy.

ZOMBIE: hey ette what’s up
ETTE: G-GET BACK!

Ette whallops the zombie in the face. They drop the trophy, which spirals into the air! Ette snatches the trophy out of the air, hands it to Marron for safekeeping, and continues ripping apart the horde. The zombie that Ette just smacked stands up, rubbing their head.

ZOMBIE: ow
ZOMBIE: ette what the heck
ZOMBIE: it’s me, bass
BASS: the ex-cultist man
BASS: the illusion man
BASS: the very single man

BASS: i’m just disguised as a zombie so i don’t feel left out
BASS: is this some sort of cosplay event?
ETTE: O-Oh! I’m sorry!
ETTE: It was… w-wait, do you not know what’s going on?
BASS: something’s going on?
ETTE: T-There’s a zombie a-apocalypse!

Bass takes a look around. Oh.

BASS: come to think of it that should’ve been obvious
BASS: who’d cosplay as a zombie during a thymium event?
BASS: we haven’t even had like, a proper zombie raid yet
BASS: it wouldn’t make sense

Ette tosses Bass a notecard, and an envelope. Seems that just in case, Ette wrote down some bullet points on what she was going to say.

ETTE: S-Since you’re not being targeted, a-annouce the award for me!
BASS: oh, cool
BASS: it’s theater kid time
BASS: so using these points… i think i got it, alrighty

BASS: ...Ahem.

Bass clears his throat, and takes center stage. Taeda, who’s fine as no zombies have wandered backstage, centers a spotlight on Bass’s position.

BASS: LLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS OF ALL AGES!
BASS: Today, I am here with the dazzling, the spectacular, the incredible Best Story Moment Award!
BASS: Our delightful band of merry men and women have seen the rise and fall of heroes and monsters! We have seen titans fall, and made relationships that will surely last a lifetime!
BASS: But, of all of these core-stopping moments, which one of these can truly be considered the best?
BASS: While taste is subjective, popular vote is not!

With a spin, Bass impales a nearby zombie, slices their head off, and then cleanly opens his envelope with a second swing. Bass’s disguise fades away as he pulls the card from the envelope

BASS: AND THE WINNER IS...

Bass creates an illusory copy of himself, who heads over to the zombie he just cut up, and begins playing their skull like a drum. Drum roll!

BASS: THE AMAZING, THE BEAUTIFUL, THE please go on a date with me ACACIA ANEURA!
BASS: This is, of course, for her lovely work for the introduction to her bossfight, still in progress!
BASS: Please, welcome her on stage!

A red “attack indicator” appears on stage! Ette takes a step to the west, exiting it. Bass takes a step forward, off the stage and out of the area. Half the stage explodes with the power of Upheaval! Every last zombie on the stage is torn to bits by a cascade of gigantic wooden spikes, as well as Bass’s illusion. The effects of the spell soon fade, spikes receding back into the stage. Acacia steps on the somehow not-horribly destroyed stage, irate as ever. Ette and bass take up their former positions from before the attack.

ACACIA: S-SERIOUSLY!?
ACACIA: My mental breakdown of all things merits an award?
ACACIA: Why the gorilla did I win this?
ACACIA: Why would I, the deadliest goddamn person to ever exist, win THIS and not “Best in Murder”?
BASS: To be completely fair, you have an incredible flair for the artistic!
BASS: You conveyed such raw, unfiltered emotion to us all that day!
BASS: Just from that performance, it is clear as day to me how much passion you put into your work.
BASS: Whether it’s painting, warfare… or apparently, dramatic speeches where you’re having a mental breakdown!
BASS: Excellent in all things! Even if they’re unconventional things to be good at.
ACACIA: …
ACACIA: That was... a-almost moving.
ACACIA: Just for that display, m-maybe I won’t gut you.
BASS: Thank you. I do my best.

Bass plucks the trophy out of a still-traumatized Marron’s grasp, and hands it to Acacia. He then motions for Acacia to bow, and the both of them do so in tandem. Then, right on cue, the many giblets of the zombies rain down upon the stage, splattering it and generally making a mess of the place.

1st: Acacia, Cinderwitch’s Intro (13pts). 2nd: Chloe and Echoss’s Adventure to Get Sandwich Materials (8pts). 3rd: Nia and Her’s Intro (7pts).

---

Best Flavor Text

Back at the outskirts of the stage, the war wages on. And yet, among all of this, Mari is still waiting for the Codex entry to finish loading. It’s like playing a Pokemon game on the lowest possible text speed- agonizing. Waiting like a second for each letter? How could anyone live like this!? But finally, the writer ends the codex entry with the trademark “-O”. Now she’s legally allowed to read it!

”Though the First Sin was destroyed as part of the canon timeline, traces of its presence remained in the Everground. Using a powered-up version of the body restoration ritual with a few dozen Gaiadiamonds and the entirety of the One-Fifth Scale Replica of Yggdrasil, Chaos revived the First Sin. Notably, he forgot to add any Godblossom Extract, resulting in the created body being naught but a lifeless husk.”

“This was, of course, all to Chaos’s plan. What he wanted was the raw material to work with. Making use of the Netwyrm’s lifeless carcass, which had revived with the First Sin, he performed research. Or, we say ‘research’, but it’s far more likely that he simply lucked out. He obtained mastery over the Iti’s hivemind technology, and adapted it to spread the influence of his machinery over a wide area.”

“Of course, his machine is not the heart of the operation. After activation, the machine itself became no more than a highly gaudy decoration. Once the reanimation signal was broadcast into the First Sin, it became undead. Then, the now-undead First Sin would spread its influence with the Netwyrm’s hivemind link. However, this link is completely reliant on the First Sin to operate. Kill the First Sin, and the hordes will go down with it. -O”

Mari peeks up from the scanner, looks at Omo, and gives her a smile and a thumbs up. Omo, having just finished typing a lot of text, returns the thumbs up, but not a smile.

MARI: Okay! Plan’s simple!
CHLOE: O-Oh, thank goodness...
MARI: We’re killing the First Sin. Again.
CHLOE: How can that even be considered simple!?
MARI: Well, the deadliest siege magi in all of Locaa is currently on stage.
MARI: Along with a certain culty boi, who can make clones of people.
MARI: See what I’m getting at?

Chloe attempts to equip an “owo” expression, but Nia is legally the only one allowed to do that. So instead, she simply nods her head.

CHLOE: That’s… a plan!
CHLOE: C’mon! Let’s grab them!

Mari and Chloe turn tail towards the stage, where Bass and Acacia are just beginning to head backstage. They run onstage, chasing after them. Before they know what’s hit them, Chloe has hoisted Acacia over her head, and is running back off towards where all of the fighting is going on.

ACACIA: P-PUT ME DOWN, YOU gorilla!
CHLOE: I-I’m really sorry, but my MOV is higher than yours!
CHLOE: This is way faster!

Mari, not wanting to carry around an entire woodperson, decides to grab Bass with Guiding Hand and fling him towards wherever the hell Chloe’s going. She, meanwhile, calmly walks the rest of the way there. She’s not a part of this plan, really. Chloe totally picked up on what her idea was, right?

Since the stage is now clear of (active) undead creatures, Ette crouches down, allowing her sister to climb off of her back. Both of them breathe a sigh of relief.

MARRON: T-Thank goodness, t-the undead are gone…
MARRON: Well, f-from here, anyway.
ETTE: I’m glad you’re feeling better now!
ETTE: I think the two of us should just stay here, and carry on with the show.
ETTE: You’re not good with the undead, and I’m just gonna stay with you and make sure you’re safe, okay?
MARRON: T-Thanks...

Ette gives Marron two quick pats on the head, before the two of them run backstage and grab one of the last trophies for the night themselves.

ETTE: Our final normal award for tonight is the Best Flavor Text Award!
ETTE: I’m… not really sure what to say about this one, because Omo was the one who always talked about it.
ETTE: Sis? Got anything to say?
MARRON: Uh, sure.
MARRON: Flavor text is usually kinda funny, I guess?
MARRON: But sometimes, flavor text can really breathe life into the world.
MARRON: When every inventory page is loaded with little jokes, insights into the item, or other things like that… isn’t it delightful?

Ette pulls another envelope out from behind her mask, then hands it to Marron. She nimbly slices it open, and loots the message inside.

MARRON: The winner of this category is… the Deck of Myriad Things!
MARRON: As someone once said…
MARRON: “Pick a card. Any card. Is that your card? No? Look at your card, now back to me, now back at your card, now back to me. I am the correct card. I'm on a horse.”
ETTE: ...I don’t get it.
MARRON: Neither do I.
MARRON: So… how are we gonna… give it an award?

This question is immediately answered, by someone who runs out from the audience. Asha, who had the deck on hand just in case, steps up to the stage so it can accept its award! She fumbles with it a bit on stage, searching through the deck for a specific card.

ASHA: ...Sorry, this deck has a lot of cards in it.

Eventually, she seems to find what she was looking for. It's a card with a face on it, and she places it in front of the mic.

CARD: golly i wasnt expecting this. thanks for all the support from my wonderful fans!
CARD: if someone decides to use and upgrade me again, i'll be sure to come out with some wonderful new flavor text!
CARD: thank you all!!

Asha (somewhat sheepishly) returns the card to its pack, somehow fitting the award in there with it, before returning to her seat. The audience applauds, with Marron applauding harder and louder than anyone else there.

ETTE: The way you’re clapping makes me think that you think Toaster won.
MARRON: S-She won in spirit!
MARRON: To me, anyway!

1st: Deck of Myriad Things (5pts). 2nd: Mental Break (3pts). 3rd: weed, the Eternal Guardian, and the Emerald Lattice (2pts).

---

Best Girl and Best Boy Contest

Though normally the very earth would shudder upon the announcement of this award, the earth is already shuddering thanks to the assault of the First Sin. In addition to that, with the town of Antidisestablishment no longer moving, zombies are beginning to scale the walls. Well, it’s not really so much “scaling” as much as it is dogpiling until the bodies form a ramp.

One of the First Sin’s tendrils sweeps across the island, way above the heads of most of the defenders. Marron and Ette duck as they hear the sound of splintering wood and shattering metal, the tentacle zooming over their heads. The back of the stage collapses, leaving the backstage in ruins. Taeda pops out of the wreckage, surprisingly unharmed. The lights centered on the main stage flicker out and die, leaving only the moonlight to illuminate it.

MARRON: W-What just happened!?
ETTE: I-I think the First Sin just tried to kill u-us!
MARRON: W-Well, it missed. Thank Helix for that.
TAEDA: Praise be!
MARRON: I think it m-might’ve been prompted to attack b-by the fact that this award is approaching…
MARRON: T-There’s a scientific theory you know! I-It’s authored by the Sleuth!
MARRON: Here...

A video screen descends from the ceiling… but then the ceiling remembers that it doesn’t exist, and it drops the screen. The screen suddenly drops, slams into the stage, and explodes. Ette equips a fire extinguisher, and puts it out.

MARRON: ...Welp, no presentation.
MARRON: I guess we’re just gonna-
THE SLEUTH: The Sleuth dramatically steps onto stage, emerging from the smoke left behind from the rubble.
THE SLEUTH: Though his delayed appearance until now was actually because of an “imagination binge”.
THE SLEUTH: He hopes nobody finds out, as it’d be awkward.
THE SLEUTH: Instead of dwelling on this, he raises his arm towards Marron and Ette, and waves to them.
THE SLEUTH: “Hi.”
MARRON: ...H-Hi?

The Sleuth coughs once. He barely said anything. Why’d he need to clear his throat? Weird. A second screen descends from the room. This too, falls down and explodes. He barely seems to notice.

THE SLEUTH: Now, to think about what he’ll say.
THE SLEUTH: This theory, which the hardboiled detective has called the “Eighth Rave Theorem”, is the tendency for a story to massively degenerate as it nears its finale.
THE SLEUTH: In every Godmodding War, despite how much easier it might be to eliminate the opposition before being forced onto one’s back leg, nothing seems to happen.
THE SLEUTH: As a veteran of two Godmodding Wars, this seems to be a recurring thing.
THE SLEUTH: But, the moment the war seems to near its end, for little reason, everything begins to degenerate. This is the “Eighth Rave Moment”.
THE SLEUTH: The Godmodder remembers they have a death robot. The Godmodder decides to apply a death curse to you. The Godmodder [ASSET_DATA_CORRUPTED].
THE SLEUTH: ...The end of one of those wars is on the cloudier side of things.
THE SLEUTH: But, there is one guarantee. Nothing will happen until the end.

THE SLEUTH: This “Eighth Rave Moment” has been observed in many places.
THE SLEUTH: Video games, television shows… and as of recently, award shows.
THE SLEUTH: With it, the “Eighth Rave Moment” will always bring about calamatic change and destruction.
THE SLEUTH: And, as far as he can figure, the only way to defeat the approaching First Sin, an enemy of this size and magnitude… is to have the show reach its climax.
THE SLEUTH: Inevitably, good will triumph over evil at the climax.
THE SLEUTH: And if the show never finishes...

The First Sin, somehow magically hearing the Sleuth’s inner thoughts, brings down another tentacle upon the stage. Marron procs DGE to automatically avoid the attack! Ette is protected by a Divine Shield from Taeda! The Sleuth has no such benefits, and is one-shot by the tentacle, getting slammed through the stage.

THE SLEUTH: The Sleuth sighs internally. He will not be able to give his speech today.
THE SLEUTH: How tragic.

Marron and Ette turn towards eachother. Ette scrambles to pull the envelope containing the winner of “Best Girl” and “Best Boy” out of her mask.

ETTE: S-Sis! If we announce the winners right now, we probably won’t die!
MARRON: D-Do it! Go!
ETTE: O-Okay!

Two envelopes. These ones are emblazoned with wax seals, instead of cute animal stickers like the previous few envelopes. Did I mention they had cute animal stickers? I didn’t, because all of those envelopes got torn to bits, along with the stickers. It’d be too tragic to describe, which I’m actually doing now so oops. Ette hands the Best Girl letter to Marron, and the two of them rip them open in tandem.

ETTE: The winner of Best Boy is-
MARRON: The winner of Best Girl is-

The First Sin swipes at the stage again. Though they completely flub their attack roll, an undead Reverie flies towards the contents of the envelopes, snatching them.

ETTE: O-Oh no!
MARRON: H-HEY! GET BACK WITH THAT!

Marron and Ette hop off stage, chasing after the Reverie. Try as Marron might, she is unable to both move, shoot, and actually successfully hit. Ette meanwhile, doesn’t actually have any sort of proper ranged attack. The Reverie swoops over the heads of Chloe and Mari, who have just formed up with both Bass and Acacia. Omorika is among them as well.

ETTE: Chloe! Mari! Omo!
MARRON: Other non-main NPC’s!
BASS: hey i have a name you know
BASS: i think
OMORIKA: Hm? What is it?

MARRON: T-That bird has the winners of the Best Girl Contest!
MARRON: ...A-And the Best Boy Contest, too! That’s a thing now, right!
MARRON: Kill it! We need those answers!
ACACIA: Hah! Leave it to me!

Acacia launches a spire at the Reverie, but unfortunately misses. Omorika refreshes Acacia so she can take another shot, but she rolls low and misses again.

ACACIA: OH GODDAMNIT.
MARI: best siege mage in locaa?
MARI: wowwww

The Chairwitch jumps up and kicks Mari in the face, knocking her out near-instantly.

ACACIA: SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ME AGAIN! I DARE YOU!
CHLOE: W-Wait! What if we needed her help?
MARRON: Nah. She’s a nerd. When has she ever helped us?
MARRON: Also, reminder that she BUILT the zombie machine.
CHLOE: okay, fair

The First Sin continues to squirm in the distance. Tentacles ravage the mobile island, crashing into it and breaking large parts off. Some of the defenders are starting to fall to the horde… only to be immediately resurrected by the Author or some others before the zombie plague can take them. But, it’s becoming rapidly apparent that the island can’t take much more. Mostly because it’s HP bar is at like, 30% HP left.

CHLOE: So… how are we going to kill the First Sin?
CHLOE: We’ll also need to get those envelopes back, too!
MARRON: If the Sleuth is right, if we’re going to win this, we’ll need to announce the winners!
MARRON: So… we’ll need someone to go over there, chase the Reverie, and get those envelopes back!
ACACIA: THEN we kill the First Sin?
MARRON: Yeah, sure. But first, those envelopes.
CHLOE: W-Well, I have a plan!
CHLOE: Or, well. M-Mari had a plan!
CHLOE: But I have the vague inklings of a plan of my own!

CHLOE: Bass!
BASS: what’s poppin?
CHLOE: Go and clone Omo! It’ll make things way faster!

Bass shrugs, and makes a clone of Omo. Chloe then throws Bass a Mana Potion of sorts. This Omo clone refreshes Bass, allowing him to act faster, thus spawning another Omo Clone. Chloe throws Bass another mana potion. This process repeats until there’s a squadron of about twenty Omorikas.

OMORIKA α: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 2: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 3: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 4: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 5: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 6: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 7: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 8: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 9: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 10: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 11: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 12: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 13: ...Broccoli!~
OMORIKA 14: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 15: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 16: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 17: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 18: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 19: ...Fascinating.
OMORIKA 20: ...Fascinating.

Acacia puts down Omorika Clone 13. It was looking at her funny. The remaining nineteen Omo’s begin to spam Null Somnum on Bass, allowing him to spam cloning techniques on both Chloe and Acacia. These clones also keep him supplied with a healthy supply of mana potions, Chaos making hundreds off of potion sales.

Soon, there’s an army of roughly fifty Chloe’s, fifty Acacia’s, and the remaining nineteen Omo’s. The original Chloe pairs up with Acacia, while each cloned Chloe pairs up with a clone of Acacia. Marron and Ette also join with with the original Chloe.

CHLOE α: Okay! On my signal, each Acacia clone will cast their strongest possible Siege Spire upon the First Sin!
CHLOE α: I’d explain what I’m meant to do, but I’m sure all of me knows what I’m doing!
MARRON: C-Could, uh.... Could we know what you’re doing?
CHLOE α: Oh, sure! Well, we’re going to-
ACACIA α: Bored.
ACACIA α: THREE TWO ONE-

Each Acacia conjures a gigantic Siege Spire. Trees from the forests around the island begin to converge at each Acacia’s position! Each Chloe leaps onto the tip of their respective Acacia’s forming spire. Marron and Ette, a bit panicked, step next to Chloe.

BASS: y’know this seems dangerous
ETTE: Well, I’ll have faith in Chloe!
ETTE: She’s a smart cookie!
ETTE: I know she’ll lead us to-

The fifty-so spires shoot off into the distance, each one carrying a clone of Chloe. These spires ignite mid-flight, empowered by Acacia’s staff, Nidhoggr.

ETTE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
MARRON: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
CHLOE α: Wheeee!~

As the spires zoom forth, the First Sin takes notice. They sweep and swing at many of the approaching spires, but the raw force of the spears rips apart the tentacles on contact! A few Chloes and their spires are lost to the blows, but a majority of them reach the First Sin. Massive flaming chunks are blown out of the First Sin, tiles of Flux Flesh being torn apart and erased from each shot. The many Chloe’s leap off of the spires, swords drawn.

CHLOE α: Marron! Ette! Chase down the Reverie!
CHLOE α: We’ll tackle the First Sin!
ETTE: R-Right!
MARRON: o-oh god i think i’m gonna puke

Ette lifts Marron up onto her back again, as the many Chloe’s take off around the First Sin. They begin slashing at the body, like gnats with goddamn chainsaws. Eyes and tendrils are gouged out and lobbed off, while Ette begins to hop up across the First Sin. Far as they can tell, the Reverie has roosted at the very top of the First Sin. How typical.

The First Sin, sensing their intent, makes every effort to try and destroy the Needleworker duo, tentacles a flailin’. Many Chloes move into position to counter! A tentacle that’s poised to destroy them is severed by a fast-moving Chloe. A cluster of pustules rains bullets down upon the duo, each to be intercepted by a Chloe using Nothing Ventured. These Chloe’s fly off and absolutely annihilate the attacking guns. A large, turret-spawning eyeball is… actually untouched by Chloe, and accidentally obliterated by one of the many illusory Acacia’s, still launching volleys of spires.

Jumping off of an eyeball like its a bouncepad, Ette reaches the top of the First Sin. Though perhaps they could’ve gone for the heart, the winners of the contest take priority! Still hanging onto Ette’s back, Marron draws her crossbow, and takes aim at the Reverie. The Reverie flies and darts every which way, but Marron has a special technique!

MARRON: ETTE! NOW!

ETTE: …
ETTE: ...Eh?
ETTE: What now?
MARRON: Y-You know! This is when we like, perform a-a cool, special combo attack!
ETTE: O-Oh!
ETTE: ...What do you want me to do?
MARRON: I-I don’t know!
MARRON: G-Grab them or something!
ETTE: Ette’s good at that!
ETTE: Hereeeeee we go!~

Ette throws Marron up into the air, the latter not expecting this at all. As Marron screams and flails in midair, Ette springs up towards the Reverie, and grabs it with Bearhug! Then, spinning around, they use the momentum built up from the spin to slam the Reverie down into the ground! A now-falling Marron whips out their crossbow, and takes aim downward.

MARRON: TAKE THIS!

The arrow flies true, scoring a critical hit!

...On the First Sin! Whoops. Marron sighs, as she silently plummets down towards the Reverie.

MARRON: don’t even bother to catch me
MARRON: this is what i deserve
ETTE: okay

Marron slams directly into the grounded Reverie, killing it instantly. The seamstress is only the slightest bit dazed afterwards, Ette needing to help her off the ground. Or in this case, off the undead eldritch monstrosity. She then crouches down to pick the two letters out of the talons of the Reverie.

MARRON: W-We got them!
ETTE: N-Now! Quickly!
ETTE: Read the name!

ETTE: The winner of Best Boy is...
MARRON: The winner of Best Girl is...
ETTE: …Bass Americana!
MARRON: ...AW gorilla I LOST!?

In the distance, Bass feels compelled to strike the deepest, lowest dab he possibly can. While maybe he’d give a speech, he feels like the action at hand is probably more important. Marron clears her throat, and tries reading it again.

MARRON: U-Um, sorry.
MARRON: The Winner of Best Girl is...
MARRON: Chloe Elem!

The multitude of Chloe’s who are swarming the First Sin begin to blush intensely. Then, a distinctive ping is heard. SP Gauge Filled! Trying their absolute best to not let emotions get in the way, every single Chloe clone pops their special at once.

CHLOE: F-FINISHING BLOW!
CHLOE: HEROINE’S… FLASH!

For a split second, every single last Chloe upon the First Sin vanishes. All of a sudden, a large tear rips open upon the First Sin, spewing massive amounts of Fluxblood. A moment later, another gash is torn open. Then, in an instant, thousands of azure ghostly images of Chloe dash all across the First Sin. With each passing moment, a dozen more wounds are torn right open, the First sin now resembling more a fountain of Fluxblood than a proper eldritch monstrosity.

Working their way up from the bottom, these Chloe’s all converge at the heart of the beast. Each of them take a moment to levy their blade towards the heart, Chloe #43 dashes in first, their blade piercing straight through the beast’s heart. One at a time, each Chloe follows in succession, each leaving a large, gaping wound in the heart. Finally, it comes down to the original Chloe. She phases right through the heart, landing on the other side of it in a crouched, kneeling stance.

CHLOE: May you be at peace.

She then sheathes her sword, as the heart of the First Sin explodes.

MARRON: See? I wanted to pull something insane like that off with you.
MARRON: I guess we’ll just need to wait until next year, though.
ETTE: Okay! We’ll practice lots and lots!

Just then, the entirety of the First Sin begins to tremble. With the heart gone, the First Sin is now beginning to wither and die. All around Antidisestablishment, zombies begin to go stiff, before falling over and fading into dust. Even poor [INSERT READER NAME HERE] the Temmie has to fade. And now, the First Sin begins to dissolve. After all, most undead creatures tend to not leave a corpse behind in this game.

Chloe activates her booster greaves, while Marron prepares her wings. Ette flails around, unable to fly.

ETTE: W-Wait, how am I meant to get home?

Surging through the air, a Siege Spire embeds itself in what remains of the First Sin, a few feet away from Ette. The ex-puppet hops on and begins to run across the spire back home, arms spread out wide for balance. Chloe and Marron fly alongside her, both watching as the First Sin breaks apart into nothingness. The clones of Chloe too, begin to break apart and fade. With the battle done, they have nothing to do but vanish.

Soon, there’s little trace that the First Sin ever existed there in the first place. Save for the gigantic scars in the ground, and the surrounding forests. And the scent of rotting flesh, various other scattered bodies and carnage, and a gigantic crater where the First Sin used to be. But other than that, there’s nothing.

One long walk (or flight) later, Marron and Ette return to the main stage, and begin sifting through the rubble there. Chloe and Bass take positions on the stage, each ready to give a speech.

Soon enough, Marron and Ette find what they were looking for in the rubble- trophies! Though, they’re rather crushed and mangled, they’re still shiny enough. Ette hands the Best Girl trophy to Chloe, and Marron hands the Best Boy trophy to Bass.

ETTE: Congratulations, you two!
ETTE: The very first Best Boy, and the fir- u-um, second two-time winner of Best Girl!
ETTE: Incredible!
MARRON: So, what the hell do you two have to say for yourselves?
CHLOE: U-Um, well...

Chloe gives a gentle smile, and a warm blush.

CHLOE: I-I’m… really flattered!
CHLOE: To think that so many of you believe in me, and think so highly of me...
CHLOE: It means the world.
CHLOE: And, to win this award again… I-I don’t know what to say!
CHLOE: Thank you! Thank you all so much!~

CHLOE: ...Though this probably won’t change my chances with Echoss.
CHLOE: Still hurts.
NIA: welcome to the club

Bass then takes his moment to speak.

BASS: ...I’m not really sure what to say, either.
BASS: Me, some small-town minor NPC being deemed the “best boy”?
BASS: I don’t know what the GM was thinking, not making me a main character, haha.
BASS: But this is a dream come true.
BASS: Winning an award, I mean.
BASS: Didn’t think I’d ever get any sort of recognition, y’know?
BASS: So… thanks.

The audience applauds loudly, both for their achievements and their contributions to defeating the First Sin! Now that everyone can see him, Bass spreads his legs out, bobs up and down, and hits an even deeper dab since everyone can now witness him. Chloe opts to simply smile and wave to the audience, still a bit overwhelmed by this recent revelation.

Best Girl Statistics:
1st: Chloe (22pts). 2nd: Ette (16pts). 3rd: Nia (10pts). 4th: Marron (8pts). 5th: Magnolia (7pts). 6th: Omorika (6pts). 7th: Nana and Yew (6pts). 8th: Chi (3pts).

Best Boy Statistics:
1st: Bass (19pts). 2nd: Echoss (16pts). 3rd: The Author (15pts). 4th: Cypress (14pts). 5th: Irongutta (13pts). 6th: Twig (5pts).

---

Ending

With the First Sin dead, peace has returned to Antidisestablishment. As the applause of the audience winds down, Ette takes the microphone. Or she would’ve, if this show used one. So instead, she takes center stage, and bows politely.

ETTE: Thank you one and all, for watching (or reading) this year’s Chaos Awards!

ETTE: Three years of Project Thymium, and two years of DTG: Chaos...
ETTE: It’s incredible to think about, right?
ETTE: All the memories we’ve made over this time… I’ll cherish them forever.
ETTE: I hope you’ll hold these years dear as well!
ETTE: One day, you’ll look back at these years, and the adventures we had…
ETTE: I hope you’ll remember us fondly.
ETTE: Be sure to stick around, though! The adventure’s not over yet!
ETTE: Thank you for your continued support!~

ETTE: …Huh, wait.
ETTE: Do you ever feel like you’re being used as a puppet by the GM so they can say something important?
MARRON: Oh, definitely.
CHLOE: Absolutely.
BASS: i had a sidequest dedicate to that
OMORIKA: Are we not all just tools for the author for dispensing exposition?
ACACIA: ...What the hell are you guys talking about?

The curtains ever-so-slowly begin to close. Really, it’s mostly slow because the stage got destroyed earlier, and Chaos is doing his best to just sorta drag the curtains into place. It’s a slow process, really. A few words can be heard from behind the curtain as the camera begins to fade out.

CHLOE: So! You guys wanna get lunch?
MARRON: I swear, “wanting to get food” is one of your prevalent traits...
CHLOE: H-Hey! Food is great!
CHLOE: Besides, I-I talk about more than food!
MARRON: Ah, right. Swords. And as of now, Echoss.
CHLOE: R-Rude!

CHLOE: But… really. Wanna get food?
MARRON: Yeah.
MARRON: Just let me go home first, and grab some stuff.
OMORIKA: I am not sure how to inform you, miss Needleworker…
OMORIKA: But your house fell off Antidisestablishment during the course of the show.
MARRON: …
MARRON: SON OF A goril-


THE END
Thanks for reading, and here's to another year of Thymium!

---

CHAOS: hey so
CHAOS: sorry we [c]ouldn'[t] give you any lines in [t]his year's show
CHAOS: bu[t] i needed you for [t]his
CYPRESS: Not a problem.
CYPRESS: Award show: noisy. Not my environment. Rather work sidelines.

CYPRESS: In addition. Preparations... completed.
CYPRESS: Next year. Projected ratings: high.
CHAOS: aw yeah
CHAOS: [t]hose ro[c]ke[t]s [c]hloe go[t] me should be enough [t]o ge[t] [t]o mr. pale fa[c]e
CHAOS: [t]hink he'd have objec[t]ions [t]o [t]hese plans?
CYPRESS: ...
CYPRESS: Absolutely.

Stay tuned for AWARDS SIX, coming some time next year!

<ROUND 266>

The reflected Acacia continues to talk to "herself". Could she really win back Spark's respect if an Eliti was responsible for her victory, and not her own skill?

ACACIA: T-That'd... barely be a victory.
ACACIA: I-It... s-should be me. It should be me, w-who-

SPARK: Are you doubting my command?
SPARK: If you truly believe that the application of an Iti would make me think less of your performance...
SPARK: Know that any sort of victory here would earn you my praise.

...Her mind quakes. Is he lying? What does he actually think? What is Spark planning? Why would he arrive to help her? Useless, outdated her! But... the promise of praise. It's ever so enticing. Not only his praise, but... the praise of the Chairian people. Electrophorus has taken so many lives- surely, she'd get some recognition, right?

ACACIA: I-I... will make you proud.
ACACIA: I-I'll kill that worm. A-And then, I'll kill these worms.
SPARK: Ignore Electrophorus. You could consider it an 'ally' in these times.
ACACIA: You think it'll slow me down?
ACACIA: Please. I'll kill it instantly, and then move on to killing the rest of them.
ACACIA: Just you watch me.
SPARK: ...Typical.
SPARK: Don't expect me to mourn when you die as a result of this.

Meanwhile, over at Outpost Unity, Lilac continues her work! Or, uh, "works". Plural.

---

Venia converses with Nia. Apparently, Venia didn't mean her question that way. Or maybe Nia's just bad at understanding subtext. Really, Venia's more afraid that Regalus will kill everyone, and sabotage their plans.

NIA: O-Oh. That... seems more pressing.
NIA: Plus, you wouldn't need to worry about me, because there's no way he'd survive stabbing me more than once!

Nia prides herself in her non-existent ability to survive getting stabbed. Anyway, Venia explains how each "failed" timeline is corrected into the original, at least according to Regalus. Nia tilts her head. huh

NIA: Timeline stuff?
NIA: Huh, weird.
NIA: I... am not properly qualified to give a response to that!
NIA: Xavier totally is, though! I bet he's figured out time travel by this point, but he's just not willing to share it with any of us!

NIA: But... what'd stop us from bumping him?
NIA: Anything we should know about?
NIA: Or... maybe just me? If it's something secret, I promise not to tell!

...Little does Nia know that this is a forum game, and even the most quiet of whispering can be heard easily. Unless the whispering is done by a GM-controlled entity to another GM-controlled entity. Then things get a bit complicated. Anyway, Venia motions to Nia that they should get going, and maybe ask Chaos for the stuff. She nods, they can get going whenever.

NIA: S-So...
NIA: Anything I should know about the process?
NIA: Like, I remember you... almost died.
NIA: Or at least, I thought you almost died? One of the two.
NIA: I'd rather not terrify you, y'know?

Up in the Sky Labs, Maria is baited by the promise of multiple Spiralfloofs in the northern room. She's more than happy to run off, where she soon finds a mattress of Spiralfloofs. Well, it's only three, but that's still three times the floof. This is the best thing she's ever seen, quite possibly ever. Regalus then walks off, beginning his trek to the library. Maria hears the door open behind her. Marron's carrying a box around! A... blender package?

MARRON: Hey, Maria!
MARRON: Wanna give the present to Ette?
MARRON: It's in this box here! I've just disguised it!

...It seems to be a box with a box in it. Ette would've never suspected a thing. Elsewhere, still in the Sky Labs, Venia clips into a hidden room, and attempts to hack the terminal. She logs in with the name "Kudan", then attempts to access the encrypted file with the name "Xavier Elem".

BEEP. The password is rejected. Oh well. It was worth a shot, at least.

---

Hannah yells at Spark a bit more. From wherever he is, Spark sighs. These people really refuse to shut up, don't they? And why does she care about Acacia's ability to paint?

SPARK: Hate her? Well, of course.
SPARK: Would you be a fan of a tool that fails to achieve its purpose?
SPARK: A hammer that breaks upon hitting a nail. A rifle that jams whenever it takes a shot.
SPARK: Surely, you would hate such a tool.
SPARK: But, with some repair work, it could be restored to its former glory.
ACACIA: ...

Acacia takes (10) Emotional Damage from that comment. Still, she does her best to continue on. Just like Carica, who continues on through the Rebel Barracks.



Elsewhere, as Hannah trails Regalus, Adria is shocked to hear that something such as Yggdrasil can exist. Is it a regular occurrence across space? As far as Taeda knows... yes.

TAEDA: I... think so!
TAEDA: At the very least, one was found on the fields of Godcraft during the Second Godmodding War.
TAEDA: If there's two instances of Yggdrasil, there's bound to be many more, right?
TAEDA: But... I can't answer your planet's questions, unfortunately.

Oh, also. Do her people have any unique customs? Taeda bobs her head.

TAEDA: There's a few!
TAEDA: S-So... the only real thing you need to know i-is that the hands of a Chairian are sacred!
TAEDA: Through our hands, we can channel the gift of Woodmancy.
TAEDA: If one allows you to touch, or h-helix forbid, hold their hand... they must have total and complete trust in you.
TAEDA: It's... seen as romantic, actually. H-Holding hands.

TAEDA: C-Chloe wanted to do this weird thing called a "hi-five", and I didn't really understand it...
TAEDA: Is that a human custom or something? Because it r-really seems quite indecent!

Humans. So lewd.

---

Auth describes his sister to Nana. The two of them are basically polar opposites. She's quite the social sort; a ball of energy that never seems to tire. The apothecary shudders ever so slightly.

NANA: S-So... she's the energetic type?
NANA: I-I always get kinda nervous around those sorts of people...
NANA: But... I'm sure she's nice!

NANA: O-Oh! And when you say y-you two are polar opposites...
NANA: I-Is she not as smart or as strong as you, then?
NANA: Or is she perhaps... e-even stronger!?

What if Auth's considered the "weak" one in the family, and this Alicia person is actually just sorta like a non-angry version of Half!Hulk? Is that an absolute win, or does she have it all wrong? She almost certainly has it all wrong, but shush. With Chloe, Auth explains that the fruit can actually be too angry to be eaten, if you treat the tree badly. This is news for the swordswoman.

CHLOE: F-Fruit can be angry?
CHLOE: I know that trees are living things and all, but to think they have feelings like that...
CHLOE: I-I wonder how the trees back on Earth feel? W-We're always cutting them down and that jazz...
CHLOE: Or... do they even feel, in the same way?

While Chloe ponders the morality of wooden chairs, Auth speaks out to Acacia. She does not require Spark's approval, or even anyone else's approval. No matter what, she is the strongest mage on Sussui. This does little more than confuse the Magi, who's having tears form in their eyes.

ACACIA: W-Why do you keep s-saying these things to me?
ACACIA: D-Do you want me to c-cry in front of him?
ACACIA: I-If he s-saw me... l-like this...
SPARK: Which yes, I currently am.
SPARK: Cease your moaning this instant. A true expert would have more control over their emotions.
SPARK: Prove you are worth something.
ACACIA: O-Of course...

Auth continues on. It's natural to lose, and to make mistakes. And she really doesn't need to prove herself to anyone. All he's doing is driving her to self-destruction.

ACACIA: S-Shut up...
ACACIA: J-JUST SHUT UP!

Acacia begins to cry, little blobs of sap rolling down her cheeks. Though, perhaps it's more of a toddler's tantrum, with her screaming and sobbing through each word. There's an audible facepalm through the speakers, from Spark's end.

ACACIA: J-JUST STOP!
ACACIA: I-I'M JUST MEANT TO KILL YOU!
ACACIA: I-I WAS JUST GOING TO KILL YOU, A-AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE!
ACACIA: N-NOW YOU'RE... I-IN FRONT OF H-HIM, A-AND...

Acacia was not equipped for the most potent form of assault- a mental assault. No amount of SHP can protect you from kindness.

---

Echoss and Pionobot continue about their day. Echoss notes that odds are, the Sky Labs really aren't the safest place to eat. But still, they always seem to do it.

CHI: Well... just stay safe while you're up there, alright?
CHI: I'd recommend the break room, but that place is... well...
CHI: I'm... sure you've seen it.

He also asks when she joined the party.

CHI: Hm? I think just... four or five hours ago.
CHI: It was Cypress's idea, but... these have been an incredibly long few hours.
CHI: Just... a bit of a whirlwind, you know?

Actually up in the Sky Labs, Pionobot notes to Cypress that he's much more worried about the other Iti. Not Electrophorus- just whatever else might be living in the ventilation. He nods.

CYPRESS: A fair analysis.
CYPRESS: Consideration: sentry guns? Automated. Won't harm us. Will harm Iti.
CYPRESS: Of course, requirements. Need sentry gun.
CYPRESS: Could be salvaged. Multiple around labs. Thoughts?

Then, over in the war with Acacia and Spark, he continues to heckle the Chairheir. One must wonder how much bickering and complaining this man hears from day to day, as he is barely even fazed. Though for once, these words aren't directed at him. They're directed at his troops. Remember this, he says. Spark's actions and words. He scoffs through the intercom.

SPARK: Are you trying to divide us?
SPARK: The proud people of Locaa will not fall to your words.
SPARK: Their will shall not be shaken. For they are loyal to the end.
SPARK: Isn't that right?

The soldiers around the room nervously nod and shake their heads.

SPARK: All of this will be worth it in the end.
SPARK: We shall rise above the Tabletopians. We will have our revenge.
SPARK: We will be the ultimate victors of this war.

Nobody claps. Nobody cheers. Acacia is still busy sobbing, but she manages to wipe away a few of the tears. He lets out a sigh through the intercom, and goes silent.

---

Crystal asks Chloe to grab a few Order Singularities. She nods, grabbing her wheelbarrow and riding off. She returns not too long later, having only managed to find... three of them.

CHLOE: S-So, um...
CHLOE: I wasn't able to actually find any, so... I manufactured them myself.
CHLOE: I used the Incandescent Key on a batch of crystals, and some tinkering later, I managed to create these babies.
CHLOE: I'm... not sure if they're as good as the really pure stuff, but they'll do!

It's something.

---

<THE SHOOTING GALLERY, ROUND 5>
With the arrival of Electrophorus, Acacia's mood sours. This was meant to be her big moment. Would she be fine with winning because of some gigantic worm? But, it'd barely a problem. She conjures two large Siege Spires. A spear of earth, one of Yggdrasil's roots come to life. A spear of flames, like a forest ablaze. These two merge together, and rocket across the room. Each of Electrophorus's eyes goes wide.

ACACIA: T-This... t-this is my moment, a-alright!?
ACACIA: S-So...
ACACIA: GET OUT OF MY WAY!
SPARK: Don't you dare-

The twin spires pierce into Electrophorus, pinning it to the back wall. The segment of the worm that was pierced begins to crumble and crack. The worm shrieks and trembles in agony. It tries to split apart into its many Phosphites, attempting to escape its terrible fate. However, Acacia seems to have thought about this. The still-blazing spire, embedded deep within Electrophorus, morphs and shifts.

Sharp, spike-like roots surge through Electrophorus's whole body. They stretch through the squishly flesh of each of Electrophorus's eyeballs, fusing each Phosphite together with this wooden web of hers. Soon enough, each Phosphite has been filled to the brim with these wooden tendrils, little spikes visible, jutting out from their body at all angles.

ACACIA: Oblivion.

She slams Nidhoggr into the ground. On cue, a massive burst of flame energy rolls up the spire, burning and shriveling it into ash. This energy, as it builds at the thin roots within Electrophorus, has nowhere to go but out. Electrophorus explodes, a fireball from within surging out accompanied by a rain of Thyme Matter. Fragments of each of Electrophorus's many shells rain over the area, accompanied by a storm of ash and cinders.

Electrophorus slain.

ACACIA: H-Haah! How was that?
SPARK: ...Imbicile.
SPARK: That was your once chance at triumphing over the Spherebreakers.
SPARK: Do you really think you can with otherwise?
ACACIA: I-I don't need some c-crutch t-to win this!
ACACIA: I... I am the deadliest mage on all of Sussui.
SPARK: You won't be when they slay you.
SPARK: You'll just be another one of their victims.
ACACIA: Hah! I'd like to see them try!

She rips Nidhoggr out from the ground, a burst of rubble accompanying it. With her woodmancy, roots sweep across the ground, collecting fragments of Electrophorus's body and seeping back into the earth. Moments later, a second spear-staff hybrid, much like her current weapon, bursts out of the ground. She snatches this out of the air, as Nidhoggr alights. Flames surround its every surface, save for where Acacia's hand is. Her new spear is natural in appearance, with shell fragments of Electrophorus built into it. Both spears in hand, she levels then each toward the Spherebreakers, her grip somewhere in the middle.

ACACIA: I-I'm... just getting started, a-alright?
ACACIA: I-I don't need some cheap tricks, or a-an army to win!
ACACIA: Nidhoggr and Mimameidr. T-They'll be enough! I know it!
ACACIA: T-This... this is about me!
SPARK: ACACIA.
SPARK: Cease this insolence at once.
SPARK: You are making a fool of yourself. What are you, without my guidance?
ACACIA: I-I DON'T NEED YOUR GUIDANCE TO WIN THIS, O-OKAY!?
ACACIA: SO FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, SHUT YOUR gorillaING MOUTH!

...Spark doesn't retort. Though it seems the intercom is still active, he refuses to say a word. Acacia takes a deep breath. Then, another.

ACACIA: I-I... I can win this.
ACACIA: R-Right?

...Anyway, Phase 2 has begun! Acacia now has some pretty scary melee attacks in her arsenal, and generally just far higher damage output! Fortunately, she won't be able to summon many more reinforcements... but she can probably put out more damage than an entire army! Take her down, and end this!

The Shooting Range
Move to G15.
Power Nap the Sleuth.
Psycho Link from Holyblade1 to the Blizzard Robe. (Psychic damage)

NPC purchases and items:

Mari's research slot is assigned to For The World
All of the NPCs have their stats maxed out. This costs 3000 credits and 16 samples.
Additionally, Augment is purchased from the Temmie shop, costing another 32 samples.
The Sleuth's Delivery Service is commissioned to retrieve more Temmie Powder Cakes
Once that's done, Nia is commissioned to upgrade one of the Temmie Powder Cakes, as well as the Pop Pop Pop.


Echoss and Chi:
Echoss finishes up making the sandwiches as he listens to Chi, nodding.
"I have no in fact seen the breakroom. I have not actually made it up to the Skylabs myself just yet, on account of having been asleep when the rest of the Spherebreakers made their way up.
And welcome to the team then. I will be honest, the rapid pace of events is not likely to let up. I've only been here roughly a day and half but things never really to slow down.
Fortunately we should be dealing with the Sphere tomorrow should things work out, so it won't be too much longer."
Echoss thinks for a moment.
"Actually, if Master Cypress asked you to join, does that mean he's thrown in with us?
That would make... three of the five living High Chair members Spherebreakers now, wouldn't it? I wonder how the Legion would react to that knowledge."


Pionobot and Cypress:
"Hm, yeah that sounds like a good idea.
And we've got enough spare materials on hand to do any modifcations we might need.
It seems like the others are rushing out, so I think there's a battle coming up. Once we're done there I'll salvage something.
Shouldn't take us too long though."
Pionobot and Cypress then presumably leave for Acacia.
Why am I not making the sentries now?
Because I'm going to do something else when the Acacia fight is done.


Pionobot sniffs derisively at Spark's 'rebuttal'.
"I'd be more convinced if you weren't so good at getting your soldiers killed.
And if you were as loyal as your people are.
Anyways, moving on to less pathetic things."

Shortly thereafter, Acacia utterly gorillaing annihilates Electrophorous.
Pionobot lets out a loud laugh and claps.
"WHOA. Now THAT was cool.
Are you sure you don't wanna team up with us instead of wasting time with Spark? If you can do stuff like that on a dime you should have way more Eliti kills under your belt than you do right now. You obliterated it!
I've spent enough time heckling Spark already this fight, and the others have already said it enough but I think it bears repeating:
You're wasting your time under him. He's trying to wield you like a crude bludgeon. Like if I tried to beat someone to death with the handle of my sword. We've taken advantage of the largest chinks in your combat style we could possibly access and you've still done more to slow us down than poseboy up in his flying yacht."
Pionobot switches from the casual slouch he's had since the fight started to a more fighting pose. A grin creeps across his face.
"For the record, I don't think you can take us all down, but that's definitely not a mark against you.
Wanna know who else we've fought that did worse than you?
The literal fragment of an ancient eldritch god bent on destroying the universe. Twice. We clobbered them twice.
So however quickly this fight ends?
Just remember that you've already done yourself pretty proud. Most folk can't hold us off for this long without being giant monsters or having supercharges from some kind of evil god. And yet you did that on your own merit, even with Spark standing over your shoulder and trying to beat you down."

Pionobot steps up to M10 and triggers his trait, swapping SIEGE SPIRE to water element. This sends an enormous deluge of water slamming headlong into Acacia. He then retreats down to M11.

Destiny runs to I11 and uses Heat Death at Q6.

I leg it to G16, throw an Infinipizza into Nettle, cast Focus Energy/Toxin Coating(Poison)/Mana Leech, and attack Acacia.

Battle - Shooting Range

A sly smile crosses Hannah's face as she successfully got Spark to say what she wanted him to. But nothing more comes from her mouth at that moment.

Then Acacia deletes Electrophorus from existence, and Hannah was shook, mouth agape. "W-woah..."

Even with the sizable bullet wound in the side of her arm, Hannah begins to grin again, wider than ever before, looking up at where Electrophorus was, the eliti's giblets raining down from the sky. She catches one in her hand; the boss trophy. Though she may be smiling on the outside, she secretly counts herself very lucky she survived the one that struck the railcar.

Hannah couldn't help but compliment Acacia in the only way she knew how.
"...Ha. Haha! Yes, Yes, YESSS! The power! This is what I was waiting for!"
"And Spark has the audacity to call that the work of a 'broken tool'!? That!?"
"Nah, you're not broken, and you definitely don't deserve to be called some stupid tool!"
"We're fighting the planet's strongest and most powerful, right here, right now!"
"So come on! Show us! Show us power beyond power! Give everyone here a battle to remember!"

The Terminus Lances hit nothing and I am sad.

Mirror!Hannah moves to (B9). Hannah moves to (B13) and drinks from the Yggdrasil's Vessel. She also activates Necro Coating.
Both Hannahs use Vampiric Venom on themselves, then shoot Acacia.

...

During Venia's bit, Hannah couldn't help but spare her a glance. What was she thinking about...? It sounded like she had some serious hatred towards a certain kind of person. The kind of person Spark was, more specifically.

To her knowledge, only one person Venia knew could possibly fit that criteria.
The Emperor. The one who ruled by fear. She had suspicions that Venia would rather them be dead, but this confirms it.
That dude needed to go. Preferably within today's timeframe.
"(...it might actually be worth talking to her or someone else about that later...)"

She returns her focus to the battle at hand. This is a tiny bit more pressing right now.

---

The Stalk - Hannah

Hannah gives a simple, subtle nod as she passes Regalus, but nothing that would give her intent away.

She follows the man slowly, trying to be as slippery as possible by avoiding high-traffic areas like the Receptionist's Hall, taking a detour through the Western Hub's southern hallway, through the vents. Hannah really likes to crawl through vents, doesn't she?

After confirming that Regalus was indeed going through the airship portal, Hannah makes her way there, sparing a minute at the portal itself to make sure she could skate around his view while he's in there.

At the house proper, Hannah climbs up the stairs quietly, up to the top floor. She opens the window and climbs out onto the roof, waiting, watching the front entrance for when Regalus exits, should he exit.

Sure enough, he exits. Noting that Regalus was probably going for the library, Hannah waits for her prey to disappear behind the dense canopies that surround them. She darts away from the house and into the dense trees, her small size lending itself yet again to both stealth and climbing ability.

She tracks Regalus all the way to the library. During this time, however, she wonders what could possibly make Venia of all people scared of him... a powerful army from their homeworld? Surely she wouldn't need to fear that out here, though... can't quite put her finger on it...

---

Outpost Unity - "Carica"

...Well that was convenient. Some poor sap lost their ID. Downside was that it's at the top of the Sniper Tower. The other downside was that she was starting to attract a little attention...

How to get inside...?
She notices a wooded area near the sniper tower. If she could just skirt around in the woods without being seen... yeah...

She starts walking further south, towards the forests. If anyone asks what she's up to, she'll lie and say that there were suspected tree mimics about the place, and was sent to clear them out.

Assuming everything goes off without a hitch, Carica makes her way to the tower, remaining in forested cover if at all possible.

---

House - Adria

The whole hand thing gave Adria a chuckle. Something clicks in her head, but she doesn't pay it much mind for now. "Hmhm... yes, that would make things very awkward, wouldn't it? Thank you for letting me know."

Taeda then asks about human customs. Adria nods, as she saw that humans and her species were very similar... "I doubt that most species and cultures would consider hands as being sacred, as they are typically only used as limbs to hold things. It frees them up to do more socially acceptable gestures... in the eyes of humans (and us too, I suppose), anyway."
"Take the 'hi-five', for example. It's typically used by Temporians (and apparently other species) as a gesture relating to a job well done, accomplished via teamwork. Other times it's simply a friendly gesture towards an awesome person. Much of it is purely platonic. Some of it is actually business-centric, like a firm hand shake as a method of greeting. Though some cultures may instead opt for simple, non-hand-related gestures. Like a simple bow. It's often used by those in the Kingdom, as a matter of fact."
"I'm correct in assuming you do something similar to a bow in these sorts of situations, right?"

As Taeda presumably responds, Adria's left eye wanders a little, and locks onto a certain passerby. A certain individual with awful fashion sense by her standards, strange horns, and an uncanny, eternal smile. Something about them didn't sit right with her, but she ignores them for now; wouldn't want to interrupt her conversation.

The Shooting Range

One gets the sensation that Venia would be pressing a finger to her temple if she wasn't in the middle of dangerous combat right this instant. As it is, her face is crunched up in concentration.

Acacia obliterating Electrophorus shatters it. She didn't see that coming-she thought Crystal's maneuver was going to come off as a surprise to her, diverting her power against her will-but nope! That's clearly not the case at all.

"Holy crap!" Venia shouts.

Venia recovers as Acacia re-arms herself. She doesn't spare a comment about her combat potential (as nice as it would be, she figures feeding her ego is a terrible idea), but does feel the need to speak.

She feels the need, quite strongly, to shout at Neo-Ikea-to condemn him as harshly and furiously as possible for everything-but at the same time another part of her demands that she not waste her time and efforts, and a third believes that referring to the monster as anything other than a total joke, or at all, is empowering to them. And then there's Acacia-which Venia's mind has been locked onto. She hasn't been hallucinating or anything from her disease or stress like before, but the idea keeps springing forth-a sense of extensive discomfort and empathy, and just as much, hatred.

Why can't there just be some dumb monster she can insult freely? She halts, bites her tongue, and instead, thinks.

"I can't feed into Acacia's self-worth at killing Electrophorus. That just says she's a weapon even harder... Even if it was utterly badass. But what do I say? Like-don't do it for him, I said, but I've been 'doing it' for Maria for years now, and basically almost nothing else, and even that's been hollow. That won't reach her... And I've compared myself to her again."

"... And do I see myself in her, through a mirror darkly?... I think I do... I do. Have I seen this before? I have seen this before, I have-there's no doubt in my mind, this is what I've experienced. I mean-I almost said 'Regalus' instead of 'Spark' or 'Neo-Ikea.' Is this how Regalus treats me? Am I really just looking for some cheap praise and acceptance? Regalus hasn't gone this blunt yet, but I suppose that I've been far more successful... No! He's just been smart enough to stilt it through some clever wording. This is the same. I mean-I guess I must've known better to realize that even that cheap praise wasn't even so... Ugh, stupid brain. Stupid illogical feelings! Making me do stuff I don't even get! But I think I get it now! This is what Regalus has been doing to me-what Spark has been doing to Acacia!"

"... Is this what he's going to do to Maria?".

A spark lights up in Venia's eyes.

"Acacia, please, we only came here to help," Venia shouts. "To fix that whole goddamn nonsense with burning you in the first place! We wouldn't have left here without doing that! Do you think I'd give you Abies's book if I really didn't care about you? Hersilia and Alatus were really worried about you, did you know that? Hersilia literally fought to keep us from fighting you, and Alatus might be terrified of you but he never left! They're not supporting you now because they're seriously concerned about all this behavior! Talking about yourself like you're a weapon or a tool, instead of a person, that's seriously messed up! All these power highs have got them really concerned, but they can't even approach you-but we can! And I can say that this whole business is a few dozen steps up from that!"

Venia's brow furrows. "Do you think Neo-Ikea over there really cares about you at all? He's repetitively insulted you! Called you a moron! A broken tool! He blames you for something I bet he couldn't do himself! If he really thought this was his best chance, he'd have done more than just toss a cheap Eliti and call it a day! It's-he's manipulating you, Acacia! He's manipulating you! He's a fucking manipulative bastard! Fucking with your head! Making you dependant on him, like he's some kind of drug! The whole thing just pisses me off! If he's here to see shit, I bet he could have joined in personally but didn't! Coward! Braggart! Imposter heir!"

"I can't afford to back down while I'm fighting for everyone's lives like this! We're so close, and things are worse than they look! Like 'it's so bad that it doesn't sound real' bad! Too much is at risk-I can't afford to stop! I'm, I'm really sorry for everything!"

Venia moves to H13, using the Luminous Rose effect to gain Ordo while passing Persephone for 10 MP. She then uses Purge on Acacia, followed by a scan-ping from Hat, scanning Acacia. She retreats to G12.

---

Niaaaaaaaaaa

Venia puts a temple to her hand in response to Nia's questions, and starts walking back home. "Strictly speaking, if I told you what made him hard to kill, it'd be an act of treason, and I swear the guy reads me like a book, so I think he'd realized I'd blabbed, and likely not for good reasons. I-If I told anyone, I'd have to be absolutely certain that I really am doing it. And, like. I'm not. And that, uh, ignores the fact the Thymefield might be screwing with things to make him less dangerous. Or more dangerous."

"As for the Transcendent thing, uh." Venia stops talking, and thinks, feeling the earth beneath her feet as she walked towards the house again. She thinks on everything that was before and everything that was after-of her body, of herself, of how she's thinking and how she's feeling.

And then she thinks on her own two feet-and thinks on how much less she feels it than she remembers she should. A subtle amount, but definite. And she remembers-this wasn't the first time she felt like this.

"... You saw the transformation first-hand. Definitely painful. I think you'll fare better, you're healthier than I was and the element is more solid. But... Putting this simply as I can, I can definitely tell I'm more than I was, but I also feel like I'm less than I was-there's just this feeling that I'm... Out of touch. Some sensations don't feel as strong as they were-the need for necessities, included. Others feel different-I can feel water, everywhere, and I can almost move it like it's a part of me, for instance. I feel stronger, and different, and powerful, but..." She trails off.

"I'll support you all the way! But... I'm not actually sure it's worth it," Venia says. "This isn't something I'd recommend lightly-I did it because it was this or literally dying. I'd ask Mari about this, she's been a Transcendent longer than I have."

---

Mariaaaaaaaaaa

"I found fluffies!" Maria says, at Marron, as she hands Marron the scarf. "They're cute flufflies! ... Fluffy, that's not a snack, that's not a snack!" Maria says, pointing at the Spiralfloof engaged in devouring a foam cube. "Pet the fluffies, I'mma pet ALL the flufflies. Here fluffies! I'mma pet you!"

It will be a sad moment when the Equitem inevitably tell her that those are their Spiralfloofs, do not steal.

---

Regalus

Regalus stops as Hannah crosses his path to say hello, but otherwise makes no real attempt at conversing with her, and does not seem to notice her tailing him as he leaves the Skylabs through the portal to the airship and comes out at the basement of the house. He doesn't stop and instead heads up the stairs. He briefly takes a glance at each of his family members, and concluding nothing has happened of significance since he last left, carries on out the front door to the Whispering Library.

---

BATTLES - THE SHOOTING RANGE

The Reflector moves to J16 and basic attacks Acacia, switching their Light resistance to Earth and gaining Enchant:Water and Aeroveil in the process. They instruct Chloe to stand behind them (in J column) so as to not be hit by the Devastation Calamity.
The Mirror Reflector moves to B17 and casts Suffocating Hatred on D19, inflicting Fear.

---

THE BORDER OUTPOST

"Lilac" prime frowns awkwardly at the question.

"LILAC": I can only tell you so much... but let's just say we've monitored some suspicious activity in the region.
"LILAC": Spherebreaker activity, to be specific.
"LILAC": I'm hoping Granny Acorn or someone else might be able to tell me something about it. If not, well, it'll be nice to have a chat with her anyway!
"LILAC": Even if it does mean more stakeout work for me.
"LILAC": If it's all the same to you, I'd like to leave right away! Just in case this does turn out to be an all-day sort of thing.

As "Lilac" boards the Mechonis, she makes some small talk with Randa to pass the time.

"LILAC": So, you grew up at Acorn?
"LILAC": It must have been kind of crazy, living so close to the border. What was that like?

Meanwhile, mirror "Lilac" / ""Lilac"" / "Lilac" two electric boogaloo waits for her partner's stealth mission to complete before making any more moves. It would be rather risky to try to enter any high-security areas without an I.D., and those seem to be the most useful ones.

==RP==
To Chloe:
Crystal grins at Chloe. “That's actually perfect! I'm planning on using these as part of a project to make an anti-entropy weapon, so if they're made from the power of the Incandescent Key, that already helps me out!”

In battle:
Crystal throws a fist in the air and lets out a short cheer. Yes, an actual “Wooooo!!!” cheer.
“Well done, Acacia! You just utterly annihilated the most powerful Iti in the Skylabs in a single stroke, proving you’re the deadliest and most powerful mage on Sussui. Keep it up!”

His posture instantly reverts to serious as his hand drops.

“You know who didn’t just say that to you? Spark. He put you down for it. He called you an imbecile for doing it, and then he immediately seized the chance to tell you that you’d be nothing without him and his ‘guidance’. Do you know what that says to me? It says he’s scared. He’s afraid of not having you under his total control, because he only cares about your power and how he can use it, not you. More than that, he’s scared of your power, because he doesn’t have it. He knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against you if you chose to not listen to him, if you decided you didn’t care what he thought and decided to do whatever you want. He wouldn’t be able to do a single thing to you. So what does he do? He manipulates you. He tells you that you’re nothing without him, that what you should care about is getting back in his good graces. He tells you
What are you, without my guidance?

He calls you
...Imbecile

and says
Don't expect me to mourn when you die.

Acacia Aneura, are those the words of someone who cares about you? Someone who cares about anything other than himself and his plans? Look at what he just did in front of your own eyes; he called an Iti, one of the ravenous Spherespawn -- who, might I remind you, are a danger to everyone -- into this room on the bare hope it would target us and not you. He called it, I quote,
Killing two Spiralfloofs with one stone.

Do you think he would have shed a tear if Electrophorus -- the Iti he made the choice to unleash -- leapt for you instead of us and ripped your core out, except to be upset he can no longer level you against his enemies? Mark my words, not a single word of grief or loss would be spared for you out of Spark’s mouth by his own admission, except perhaps ‘She deserved it.’ Is that someone worthy of your allegiance, someone who doesn’t care about you except insofar as he can wield you as an instrument of his will? Someone who, demonstrably, would turn the Iti on his own forces if it gave him even the slightest tactical edge? If Spark could send you on a suicide mission, pick up your staves himself, and have your magic at his personal command, he would do it without a second thought. He’d probably justify it to himself with something like ‘She was a loose cannon anyway’, or ‘It was going to happen sooner or later.’ Why bother fighting for someone who holds you and your life in such contempt?”

Crystal leans forward, eyes boring straight at Acacia.

“Here’s a secret: You’re better than him. You are the deadliest mage on Sussui, and you just proved it. You don’t need to care about what anyone else thinks, least of all someone who continually manipulates you by putting you down whenever you look like you’ll get the slightest feeling of self-worth outside of his games. Least of all someone who just made the choice to unleash the Iti, the foe of all of us, on everyone in this room because he thought it would give him an edge. Least of all someone who’s cowardly enough to hide in an airship and send down his lackeys instead of joining you on the battlefield to show the proper respect to a mage of your caliber. He deserves nothing, least of all your slavish servitude. Fight us if you will, but don’t do it for Spark, or for anyone else. Do it for yourself, and to hell with Spark or anyone else who tries to control you.”

==BATTLE==
Crystal moves to H14 and activates Passionate Petals!

He fires a shot of Disabling Dust at Acacia, bringing her AC down by 2 for the rest of Passionate Petals and also hitting her with minor Light Damage, also allowing him to step back to H13!
He then plants the Nightmarron Custom into the ground, activating Root Lock!
With Root Lock in place and giving a bonus to his ranged strikes, he fires a set of Rapid Rounds at Acacia, before following up with a High Impact Round, staying in place thanks to Root Lock!


//////////////////////////////
ERROR: TRANS-MEDIUM TRANSMISSION RECEIVED. PRINTING...

Pope Bill steps onto K20 and then basic-attacks Acacia!

TRANSMISSION ENDS.
//////////////////////////////

Unknown transmission detected. Unknown sender. Uploading...

"...It's been a while, hasn't it? Heh..."

"It's a bit sad what happened out there, you know. Probably not my place to comment on the details, but still. The fact that things can just turn so sour, so quickly, without any warning... Eh, but what happened at that time, that's back then. This is now. And now, we've got a job to finish. So. See you in a bit. Audible wink."

Transmission ended.

---

The skies darken noticeably for a brief moment, then brighten just as momentarily before returning to their normal selves. Those who can see the sky might notice an uncommon astronomical event - a meteor shower. Quite the number out there, too.

From the heavens, an object descends, hurtling towards the planet at high speed. A trail of flame snakes across the sky. Initially, nothing is too unusual about this comet. But then, with a flash, the trail suddenly burns a bright cobaltine blue, the trajectory shifting noticeably. Those who see it might recognize the specific shade. And, given a moment, a similar meteorite with a strong red trail descends as well, both blazing their ways towards the surface of Sussui.

Navigating with turns and trajectory alterations that seem rather unnatural, the meteors descend quickly. And so it is that they soon make landfall, the blue meteorite crashing full-force into the grounds near the zone 0 house. The ground shakes violently upon impact, dirt and dust and blue crystal fragments scattering everywhere.

As for the red meteor, in what is probably a funny reference to some past event, it just obliterates the remains of the poor unfortunate fountain. This meteor, rather than cracking open and kicking up a whole bunch of mess, seems to just sink into the ground a short way, like if somebody placed an anvil on quicksand.

There's a pause, in which all is silent. Then the blue meteorite shatters completely, a barely-visible blur of blue immediately appearing by the red meteorite and smacking it hard with a strangely familiar sword. As the red meteorite cracks open, the red-clad occupant appearing beside the blue-clad person, both the brothers take a look at the house.

"...Huh. They haven't changed it as much as I thought they would. Guess it's only been a day or two on their end."

A shrug from the red-clad fellow, and he gives his response.

"Maybe all the changes are on the inside? We should check it out!"

The blue-clad fellow chuckles quietly, moving to knock on the front door. Without knowing if anyone's there, he calls out to the occupants.

"Hey. Anyone home? I'm back. It's me. Calibri."
"And Verdana!"

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1O-0...dit?usp=sharing




...Wait someone's missing-

EN promptly slams into the ground nearby, having not acquired a meteorite or an escape pod or... any other form of travel, really. She hops back up without issue, brushing off her shirt, then stretches and yawns.

"Dayum, tha' were a trip. Good thin' ah've got th' co-ords saved."

A huge-ass flaming log flies at at least mach 1 speeds right next to Bauhaus, turning the equally huge-ass electric eel monster in front of him into a fine purple paste. He turns his head towards the other side of the shooting range.

"Well, someone's angry."

-- BATTLE: THE SHOOTING RANGE --
Bauhaus sprints to G16, uses Pocket Overdrive on Nettle and the Sleuth, then tosses a Trick Weaponry counter at Acacia.

Nettle hesitates almost imperceptibly. Was Spark's offer serious? Her face returns to a scowl as she resumes with her murderous intent.

NETTLE: My people are the ones who shunned me and my talents.
NETTLE: Why would I have any love for them?
NETTLE: And, what better way to prove their mistake than with a demonstration?

Nettle moves to E13, then uses Sing Unto Me and Heavemarch to drag Dartfrog1 to H16, since its a corpse to her. She then uses Shackling Blast on Holyblade1. This has 2 Buff Levels and destroys 4 corpses (Halberdier1, Dartfrog1, both Shieldbearers). It also gives her +1 Threshold from destroying at least 3 corpses in a turn. She then monches a use of Yggdrasil's Vessel and retreats to D15.

Auth smiles, with Nana. He understands entirely.

AUTH: Hah. Yeah, I get it. Even knowing her as well as I do, she does tire me out with her boundless energy.
AUTH: She's very nice, though. Very... social. She likes to help, and entertain. She likes meeting new people and making friends. I'm sure you could have guessed as much, though...

Auth thinks for a moment, as Nana asks about what he meant when he said she was his polar opposite...

AUTH: She's far stronger than I am. To put it simply, her primary magical aptitude is with Time. I'm sure the implications of that need not be spoken.
AUTH: Physically, too, she is stronger than me. But I think I'm more observant, better at capitalizing on opportunities. She finds it difficult to catch people who are lying, as an example. I think I'm harder to lie to.

Auth nods... that sounds about right.

---

Auth looks away, slightly, as though considering how to correct Chloe.

AUTH: Well, you see...
AUTH: The thing is, Parabola is... strange. It follows the laws of reality, even less than the Neath normally does. Most trees wouldn't feel the same way that the Orange-Apple tree would, purely because they didn't grow up in Parabola.
AUTH: I wouldn't worry about it, really...

---

Auth listens to Spark demean Acacia, and tuts.

AUTH: Now, that's rude.
AUTH: While it isn't necessarily untrue... Acacia, I think your strength comes from your passion. Your emotions fuel your magic. The more you want to win, the stronger you are.
AUTH: I think the fact that Spark can't even see that tells you a lot about how much he cares, honestly.

Auth shakes his head as Acacia breaks down into tears.

AUTH: Would it be okay, though? Would it sit right with you, after all is said and done? I'm not saying you wouldn't, but maybe you should think that through.
AUTH: As for why I'm saying all of these things... it's only really because it's true. It's true, and I think you need to hear it. I think you need more confidence in yourself, less reliant on others.

Auth remains quiet, until Acacia destroys Electrophorus. He grins.

AUTH: Remember what I was saying about you being unquestionably the strongest magi on Sussui? Well...
AUTH: All of us, as a group, couldn't hope to match what you just did, alone.
AUTH: And you know what? Even if it meant you couldn't win, I think that more people would appreciate that you just destroyed that Eliti than they would you killing us. It would likely mean more directly to more people.
AUTH: Even if that's just from our experience doing much the same.

---

In battle... Auth moves to G12, and a bright light envelops Acacia. She'd feel her strength sapped a little. Or, in other words, Auth casts a regular old Liberation on Acacia.

AUTH: Mind telling me what you did to evolve this spell at some point? I'm personally impressed that you managed to strengthen it so much.

Remiel Soaring Rushes to K16 and basicattacks Acacia.

Get a new modifier spell. Regen 1 Divine Shield and 10% MMP at end of turn if no HP damage is taken.

Move to P6, Ruptured Tail east

Battle: The Shooting Range

The Electrophorus died but... somehow not by his own hand? Actually, it was outright obliterated.

"Flamin' Mork! Who the 'ell did that?" The answer immediately became clear when the Ork turned around: Acacia. "Zog, I gotta admit... not bad. 'Course I still gotta krump ya fer standin' in our way, but let me tell you that wot I said is a lot comin' from an Ork! Now, quit your blubberin' and make for a good fight ya git!"

Irongutta used his unbelievable MOV to push his way to K16 and made a devastating swing at Acacia!

<ROUND 267>

Echoss chats with Chi. He notes that he has not, in fact, seen the Sky Lab's breakroom. In fact, he hasn't been to the Sky Labs at all.

CHI: Oh, you haven't been to the Sky Labs?
CHI: Well... the Break Room is frozen over. There was an accident with an airship, and...
CHI: That's not important though, is it?
CHI: What's important is that you stay safe up there. There's plenty of Iti there, and the Rebels seem to be making a move as well.
CHI: Take care of yourself, sir Echoss.

He then notes that Cypress is now likely part of the party. Does that mean that 3/5 Highchair members are now part of the Spherebreakers?

CHI: Three of five?
CHI: W-Well, I'm not a member! I have no desire t-to have that much power!
CHI: Unless you mean the Sleuth. I'm... not sure if he qualifies.
CHI: But either way, yes- the Spherebreakers seem to control 50% or more of the Chairian government.
CHI: Though, Spark is really the one who has all of the say at the moment.
CHI: Still, the three of them together would certainly turn some heads!

While Chi wonders if the Spherebreakers are now legally the government, Pionobot showers some praise upon Acacia for her destruction of Electrophorus. Despite being the enemy, Acacia laps up the praise like a cat would a saucer of milk.

ACACIA: Hah! Interested?
ACACIA: Of course you'd want the strongest woman on the planet to assist you!
ACACIA: But, that's not gonna happen. I'm still going to crush all of you.
ACACIA: Just because I wasted a second killing a pathetic worm doesn't mean I won't squash you all.

ACACIA: None of you could kill it. Meanwhile, I slay it in a single blow!
ACACIA: And you think you can still win?
ACACIA: That's cute.

...Acacia begins to accumulate Pride. Is this a good thing? Who knows. Finally, some NPC's are poked to go and do things! Mari is assigned to research For The World, The Sleuth is asked to go and bake a few Temmie Powder Cakes. He nods, buying 5 from Temmie. Nia is then asked to improve one of these, taking generally a Temmie Powder Cake and pouring it on the floor. This upgrades it to Temmie "Powder". The Pop Pop Pop then inverts itself, becoming the Opo Opo Opo. It grows ever so slightly less stable. 80 Credits are spent in making these total.

The Minor NPC's are then bought a LOT of upgrades! For the price of 3000 Credits and 16 Samples, all Minor NPC's are maxed out! Augment is then bought from Temmie, expending 32 Samples. Maybe one day, they'll use these samples to make something useful. Actually, why IS Temmie accepting Samples, anyway? Who knows?

---

Hannah rains some praise upon Acacia. She continues to soak this up. Were trees able to grow through praise alone, she'd suddenly become one of the tallest people upon Sussui!

ACACIA: Yes, yes!
ACACIA: I am powerful! I AM THE DESTROYER!

Pride continues to build. Elsewhere, Adria explains the concept of "hi-fives" to Taeda. Apparently, it's meant to be a gesture relating to a job well done. She also notes that some rather bow instead. Taeda bobs her head.

TAEDA: U-Um, yeah! We tend to just... bob our heads! Or bow!
TAEDA: T-To think that what seems like an intimate gesture to us is just a simple expression t-to you!

TAEDA: I wonder why more people don't consider hands sacred, though?
TAEDA: Our hands are the way we interact with the world.
TAEDA: To lose one's hands would be to lose one's way to chance things, even if one didn't have the powers of woodmancy.

Finally, Hannah continues her exploration (and perhaps, exploitation) of the Border Outpost.

---

Venia tries to reason with Acacia. They only came here to help her, and the party really does care about her! Everyone she cares about is seriously worried about her current behavior, too.

ACACIA: ...T-They're not worried.
ACACIA: If they were really worried, t-they'd be by my side.
ACACIA: S-Stupid Hersilia, going off on her o-own...
ACACIA: If she were with me, w-we'd have disposed of you by now.

And, does Spark really care about her? It's rather evident he doesn't, only seeing her as a tool. And it certainly isn't helpful or healthy to be called a weapon. Or to refer to oneself as a weapon.

ACACIA: ...I-I am his weapon! I am his most loyal s-servant!
ACACIA: H-He does all of this for me b-because he values me!
ACACIA: I-It's just... t-tough love! That's what he called it!
ACACIA: M-My lord! Y-You wouldn't do such things to m-me! Right? Right?

...There's no response. Acacia blinks once. Twice. She clears her throat, then morphs a splinter to throw at the airship above. Both of these acts fail to get his attention.

ACACIA: H-He... n-no...
ACACIA: C-CYPRESS! How DARE you lock him out of the intercom system!
CYPRESS: Confusion. Haven't touched intercom. Too busy fighting.
CYPRESS: Not my fault.
ACACIA: W-What?
ACACIA: L-LIAR! Surely, y-you did SOMETHING!
CYPRESS: Spark: rather annoying. Would've acted earlier. Less audio strain.
ACACIA: ...

Though Spark no longer seems to be on the intercom, the airship's still around, pestering the party from above. How bothersome. Elsewhere, Venia tries to explain to Nia that Regalus is kinda hard to kill, but she can't tell her how he's hard to kill. Nia scratches her head.

NIA: Um...
NIA: Just like... nod your head if any of these theories are right, then?
NIA: Because then legally speaking, you're not telling me!~

NIA: Ahem...
NIA: He's a ghost-person! He's a zombie! He made a pact with the devil for eternal life! He has Autorevive1000! He's too young to die! He has fifty billion AC! He's too old to die? He's several short people dressed up as one big person, so we'd need to kill him multiple times! He's a hydra, and will grow more heads! He's the Reflector! He has seven thingies which he's taped his soul to, and we need to go on an epic journey to find them all and destroy them! He has plot armor! He's secretly the protagonist of this story! He can read minds! He can't actually read minds, but fakes having the ability to screw with us! He's the impostor! He takes no damage from RED-damage equipment! He does die, but then he'll hit respawn! He's Technoblade! He has spawn protection! He's an Immortal Object! He's immortal, but normally! He's immortal, but we can steal his immortality by cutting his head off! He can load a save-state where he never died! He has whatever the opposite of Murphy's Law is! He's gay? He has four souls we're required to gank before an epic boss fight against him! His second phase is nigh impossible! The game continues on normally after he dies, as the developers didn't account for this happening! He is! He is not! He can return by death!
NIA: ...Were any of those right?

...It is unclear if Nia really understands what's going on. But, as for the whole "transcendance" thing, Venia muses on this for a bit. The transformation is definitely painful, and it can make you... stronger. But also, sort of "out" of it. Some sensations feel weaker, some stronger. But one can ask if it's really worth it. Really, what she might want to do is ask Mari. She's been a transcendent for quite some time. Maybe she'd have some insight?

NIA: Um... I guess I could talk with her.
NIA: Though, I'm not really sure where she is right now.

NIA: But...
NIA: I just... wanna be able to stand by you, y'know?
NIA: Where you come from is... dangerous. I'm just a soft, squishy human.
NIA: We can literally die just because our body decides they'd rather not!
NIA: I also want to be useful! If that means becoming some weird ice waifu, then I'll do it!
NIA: Even if it hurts... anything that'd let me stick by you is worth it.

...Should Venia let her, Nia will go seek out Mari. Finally, Maria pets three fluffies at once. This isn't really important to the plot, but also yes.

---

The Reflector- or I suppose, Liliac- continues their work at the Border Outpost. It's time to Catch-a-Ride!

---

Crystal cheers on Acacia! And also gives a general speech, but shhh. She silently celebrates as she absorbs the praise. But, you know who didn't give her that lovely praise? Spark. Perhaps he's just scared of not having this lethal woman under his control. Acacia shakes her head.

ACACIA: N-No, y-you're wrong!
ACACIA: H-He cares! O-Of course he cares!
ACACIA: Electrophorus was called t-there because he knew I-I would slay it, o-or you would!
ACACIA: H-He secretly believes in me!
ACACIA: A-And... h-he wouldn't just... d-dispose of me...
ACACIA: R-Right...?

Acacia says those last words to the sky, praying that Spark will hear her. But still, he does not respond. Her gaze becomes increasingly grim.

ACACIA: P-Please, t-tell them they're... wrong...

---

Calibri and Verdana re-join the game! Welcome back! Anyway, the two of them return to this plane of existence, along with EN. Calibri gives a knock on the door. Before he can knock it more than twice, the door swings open.

CHAOS: oh hey nerd
CHAOS: or uh, nerds
CHAOS: plural
CHAOS: wel[c]ome ba[c]k
CHAOS: ni[c]e en[t]ran[c]e seven poin[t] eigh[t] ou[t][t]a [t]en

CHAOS: so, uh
CHAOS: where'd you go, anyway?
CHAOS: if you spen[t] all day preparing [t]ha[t] en[t]ran[c]e know i respe[c][t] [t]he grind

...What's that? An opportunity for lore has revealed itself! Also, from the outside, Calibri can notice some rustling in the kitchen. There's a few figures there- Chloe, Echoss, and a few others he can't quite recognize. A new Chairian friend? Perhaps it'd be fun to go and say hello.

---

Nettle tries to yell at Spark. However, he has already absconded from the field. This leaves Acacia to respond in his place.

ACACIA: You'd be a fine extension of Spark's will.
ACACIA: Why, you seem to possess similar power to me.
ACACIA: I'm being quite generous to you with that comparison, but... maybe you'd be a fine apprentice.
ACACIA: Or you would, if I weren't going to kill you.

Yep. Acacia will totally kill Nettle, and not the other way around.

---

Auth continues his usual chats. With Nana, he explains that Alicia is far stronger than he is. In fact, her primary magical aptitude is with Time. Nana doesn't quite know what that means. Can she manipulate time itself or something?

NANA: A magical... aptitude?
NANA: What's that? And c-can she control how time works?
NANA: Kinda like what A-Adria and Taeda are talking about?

Nana wonders why there's so many people who know how to time. Oh, in addition, Auth notes that while yes, she's physically stronger, he tends to be on the more observant side of things. But, Nana's mind hangs on one particular thing.

NANA: So... if her aptitude is time, what's yours?
NANA: Are you versed i-in... um, water?
NANA: I-I don't know! Y-You use ink magic stuff, a-and I don't think "ink" is a valid a-aptitude...

Elsewhere, back at the House, Auth explains to Chloe that the Parabola follows the rules of reality even less than the rest of the Neath. Also, she shouldn't worry about tree-based ethics.

CHLOE: F-Figures that there's a place even weirder than the rest of London...
CHLOE: Don't tell me there's a place even weirder than that, t-though!

...It's rather clear that Chloe wants to be told there's a place even weirder than that. Maybe the Iron Republic, or some other zany place the GM hasn't been to? Preferably a place that Chloe wouldn't want to burn down, though. Finally, over at the shooting range, Auth asks Acacia if it'd sit well with her after all was said and done.

ACACIA: O-Of course I would!
ACACIA: I-I've killed before! W-Why wouldn't it sit well with me!?

Still, the other things he said. "Her strength comes from her passion." Was that true? She couldn't be sure. Was it the Spherebreakers that were driving her to these levels of unknown power? Maybe it wouldn't sit well with her. Her conflicting thoughts continue to build.

---

<THE SHOOTING GALLERY, ROUND 6>
A few of you are starting to get quite low! Beware Acacia's Upheaval- she's edited the time it activates, which may mean she can knock you back into the AoE before it detonates! This could be quite deadly, so try not to have that happen. Her special is also ready, so be prepared for her to zip around the battlefield!

...Of course, this won't be an issue if you one-round her. bet you won't