Main post:
NPC Assignments
Not!Echoss does some more NPC assignment commissioning
First, he has Mari start research on [TBD by convo in the discord]
Next, he has the Sleuth scan a Chairian Primus and Turrim.
Finally he does nothing. There isn't a third assignment. There was never going to be.


Echoss returns and sees Chi, introduces himself
(Note: item returns from the RP bit above should be: some number of T6 consumables called "Exotic Sandwich Stuffs", a kit food consumable. Also a singular T5 "subspace grocery box" item)
Echoss and Chloe return to the house, ready to prepare the sandwiches for the picnic.
To Echoss's surprise, there's someone new there, Chi! With Crya trying to help her calm down.
"Oh, hello there. I don't believe I've made your acquaintance.
Give me just a moment."
Echoss moves over to the counter and opens up the little stoarge cube that he and Chloe used on their trip out, and removes the various sandwich making supplies before turning back to Chi and giving a small bow.
"I'm Echoss Ravenstar, a pleasure to make your acquaintance."


Pionobot calls over the dedicated healer.
Seeing that Aoki's not doing super well still, Pionobot sighs.
"Looks like this is all I can do for her myself right now.
I'll be glad to be out of the thymefield once this is all over..."
He stands up, and winces as a small stream of purple smoke pours out of the shoulder he had Maple press down on for a full second.
"Ow, yep. Definitely glad."
He looks around, finally noticing Auth, who he tries to wave down.
"Auth! I need your help over here a bit!"

Meanwhile in the background Not!Echoss pops out of the ground to give Aoki a quick scan before vanishing into the ether.


BATTLE
Pionobot uses Eager Beaver to spawn on O8, then pauses his turn until Irongutta has gone.
Once Irongutta has used his turn, Pionobot casts Eagle Eye on Irongutta and himself.

The Shooting Range
Spawn at F5.
Use Sheep Counter on self.
Move to E9.
Last Dream Extinguisher1.
Power Nap self.
Retreat to D8.

Battle: North of the Pass

Venia moves to I9 via the doubled move bonus, and pings the absolver three times with Heart to remove all three Divine Shields, before using Unexisting Force once (restoring all buffs in the bargain.) She pings one more time with Heart to down the Absolver if it's still up. Before she goes further, Pawn 2 steps to I8 and then uses Lunge, moving up to I6 and attacking Niessence2. Then, Venia uses Affidavit Adjudication to give herself Fluxblade and uses it on Niessence2 with the rest of her MP. Pawn 1 then charges up to E10 and Lunges to F8 to attack the Exhibition!

Then, Pawn 1, Venia and Pawn 2 all use their item actions on the Exhibition in that order. Pawn 1 fires off a Fluxblood Scroll; Venia a Clockwork Bomb set to Crushing; and Pawn 2 a Searing Bomb.

---

Battle: The Shooting Range

Venia realizes Acacia didn't hear anything, and for that matter, will continue to 'not hear anything' in a less legitimate manner until otherwise proven via excessive force.

"... Acacia, am I really supposed to take any of this seriously? Cause, uh. Uh. I don't. Like. I really don't. Like, we just came here to heal your burns. We have ways around you. Uh. Anyways, you taking good care of that book I gave you?"

Venia thus activates the Shard of Madness, triggering Thymebent mode.

Nia and Venia spawn in at L5 and L4 respectively. Nia moves to I8, Venia moves to J8. Venia uses Vigil and lets Nia get Bonus Action Ordo for 10 MP. Venia then uses one stack of Affidavit Adjudication to give herself Evasive5 for 3 rounds. This triggers Unrestrained Power to give her other buffs.

Venia then uses Incantation on K8, with 7 buff levels and A Champion proccing to give her 28 INT. Behold, the Wonderer! It looks like a giant blob of wispy robes, and it's here for all your support/movement needs. She then eats a blob of Princess Special and scan-pings the Earthshaker, unlocking the Primus codex entries.

Nia, meanwhile, begins charging up her Super Soak, and spends 125 Credits to summon the Fluxblade Gundam upon herself! Assuming she can immediately use the weapon systems, she double-pings Sniper2 with both Laser Light Cannons, downing them.

"... Oh, by the way... I'm not sick anymore. Hope you're ready."

---

Mariaaaaa

-tbd-

---

Mollusk2 to G9, basic attack Exhibition
Lily to H9, basic attack Exhibition
Mollusk1 to F12

Piggo

In the Old Pass, Irongutta returned to where he'd left Piggo and the other Sapsqueal to chase each other. It didn't take long to find them still running around within viewing distance of the church. "Ah, there ya are! Glad to see yer havin' fun, Piggo."

Though they were enjoying themselves, the Ork felt it'd be best if he led the two Sapsqueals back home. The tougher one still seemed lost. On top of that, Irongutta hoped that it would take Piggo under its wing. A bit of training would go a long way, he thought. He bent over to give Piggo a quick pat on his flank.

"Come along now, let's get you back home. That includes yer new pal, too! It seems like a dead 'ard Sapsqueal and I think you could learn a thing or two from it!"

Piggo was usually receptive to his commands, but Irongutta was curious to see if the other Sapsqueal would follow them as well.

---

Battle: North of the Pass

Not one to be stopped, Irongutta schmooves past the Exhibition he just bashed to E5, gaining the benefits of Unstoppable Force with 4 spaces moved. He gets in Niessence 3's face to cleave it and, in a swift motion, brings out the Elemental Sniper to blast it point blank for some more Electric damage.

---

Battle: The Shooting Range

"Looks like we'll 'ave to beat the sap outta her no matter what. Fine by me!"

Irongutta spawns in at N5 and moves to P9. While Pionobot's turn is paused, he casts Fury with Shared Rage on himself and Pionobot.

Auth nods to Taeda's reaction to the Helix statue.

AUTH: Would you like me to hold onto it until we get back, then? I suppose if I've held it so long, I probably won't get any worse by the time I can offload it.
AUTH: It's quite heavy, I understand if you might have trouble carrying it.

Auth thinks for a minute...

AUTH: I didn't notice them the first time around. I think they were constructed between the time we left to collect the flower, and the time we got back.
AUTH: I mean, I can't really say that for certain, but... I'm pretty sure that's why the others felt comfortable leaving. I understand where they were coming from.

Auth nods as Nana agrees it might be time to move out.

AUTH: We can keep an eye out, but I don't think we need to sit here and watch. If something serious happens, we can run by and help out.
AUTH: It was a fun adventure, and we get to help save a flower extinct in the wild. A productive venture in all, I would say.

As for Auth's quiet questioning of Taeda...

AUTH: I'm not going to say it's not a future possibility... but that's not why I'm asking. At this moment in time. Promise.
AUTH: I don't suppose you'd believe I have friends whom this information is of genuine value to? Not to mention my ow- err... employer. Such information is valuable to her as well for an assortment of reasons.
AUTH: I have professional obligations to acquire cultural information like this, in short. And maybe, perhaps, partially for my own curiosity. But mostly for the "It's part of my job" thing.

Auth rummages around in his many pockets, before producing a well-used blue notebook and a pen. Auth scribes quick notes as Taeda speaks about what the regular procedure is for a Chairian wedding...

AUTH: I see, I see. Having seen what replicas of Yggdrasil splinters can do, I can only imagine what a piece of the real thing could do.
AUTH: Something that strong... I can imagine how much it would reinforce something as powerful as the bond between those who consider such a thing...

Auth then considers what Taeda says about the regular venue for such a thing.

AUTH: Well, I wouldn't imagine it quite being held here, no.
AUTH: I don't think the cost would have been a problem anyway, for me at least. I'd bet that any events held in the full Church of Helix would be quite an event... probably like anything held at the Canterbury Cathedral...

Auth smiles as Taeda talks about how the best Devout have procedures memorized.

AUTH: Hah, well. That's fair enough, I would imagine it takes quite a lot of training to be able to run one of these places properly.
AUTH: Taeda, take it from me, total recall is both a blessing and a curse. I don't think there's a service book around here, though. There's almost certainly some up in the main Church, maybe I'll ask when we get up there.

Auth has a thought, which might actually be relevant.

AUTH: Excuse my asking, but would it be too much trouble for you to tell me what the last event that was held in the Church of Helix was like? As much as you remember. It'd be interesting for me to hear.

Auth's note-taking continues. He's listening with intent.

---

Auth chuckles slightly.

AUTH: Well, death isn't entirely gone, but it's certainly a lot harder to make stick down there.
AUTH: And doctors probably are more valuable where death is less of a concern, because even the dead would still need to be patched up to function again. Just because you can get beaten up without permanent consequence, it doesn't mean you're going to spontaneously heal, you know?

Auth nods.

AUTH: Those with the ability and predilection for healing are always in high demand. Always.

---

Auth sighs.

AUTH: Like I said: Most of the birds are fine. Most of the animals talk like people! Imagine a cat, talking, like a person.
AUTH: That's how a cat becomes the mayor. The birds that sink ships are actually decently far from London, out near the Elder Continent.

Auth shrugs, at the comments about Sorrow Spiders.

AUTH: I think you expect them to be far more common in London than they actually are. I haven't seen any... outside of specific festivals where they've been more-or-less tamed in a considerable length of time. I don't think they like living near my home...

Auth closes his eyes in thought.

AUTH: I don't think you could live on an airship in the Neath, anyway. It's a giant underground cavern. If you wanted to do that, the High Wilderness would be the place to go. They've invented Space Trains and everything.

Auth's eyes open at the sudden presence of Parabolan Orange-Apples.

AUTH: Oh! That was basically what I needed. I promise it won't start crawling around or anything, it's going to taste like an orange and apple marmalade, and it'll look and act... almost exactly like a regular marmalade. I just needed the fruit for it.

Auth begins looking through the Inventory, particularly the Gear, for something likely to carry the sentiment of "A Horrifying Confirmation You Were Right All Along". What that would be, though? He isn't sure yet. Something from the Rebellion, he thinks. Someone who knew from the beginning that the Sphere was likely to cause severe damage to Sussui. But does he know anyone that describes? A question for consideration.

Hell, the usually more valuable Unthinkable Hope would be easier to manifest here...

---

Auth, having taken part in the Aviation Testing Chamber battle, was asked not to do medical attention. However, he has now been asked to do the thing he's good at, and so he will help out. Auth quietly walks over.

AUTH: Don't mind me, I'm a medic. Mind telling me where it still hurts? It'll make it easier to help heal it, is all.

Auth uses his ink to try and heal up any damage that Aoki points out.

---

Now, for an actual battle action. Auth spawns on N5, and flies to Q7. He then casts Guardian on himself, in the Fire element. He also sets his variable resistance to fire.

But before he does that: Auth assigns his 6 KP into MOV.

Nettle decides that the scientist is harmless enough, and recalls that Acacia is somewhere here. That information, combined with a number of wooden barriers and the sound of commotion nearby could only mean one thing. She calls forth her powers, sending rumbling through the Sky Labs as the trees at the entrance begin extending their roots through the ground, following her diligently.

~~

In the Pass battle, Asha moves to J11. refreshes Focused2 and DirectHit via her trait, swaps Empowered to Enlightened, and casts Railgun Diplomacy on the Fell Beast. She pops her Magic stacks for this, giving it a total of 10 Buff Levels. (Enlightened3, 5 Magic, Loaded Spellbook). She also pews the Exhibition with the Elemental Blaster.

~~

Nettle arrives at the Shooting Range, she sees Acacia, and looks a complex mix of angry and pleased. Angry, because Acacia represents everything she couldn't be. Pleased, because this is her chance to prove everyone wrong. With a flick of her hand, she calls her staff to her hand (despite not technically using it as a weapon) and decides to lay into Acacia's forces in the most mocking way possible.

NETTLE: I'd bet you even don't know me, Acacia.
NETTLE: So you won't begin to grasp how much I'll enjoy this!
NETTLE: Upheaval!

She spawns at N5, struts to O9, and casts Upheaval on M14! This is *not* empowered by her Netu Patch, and she gains an Earth reagent.

Craftpost/Statspost
-6KP MOV
x2 Perk: Limit Breaker
+2 STR
+2 SPC
+1 MMP

RP
Remiel finds Cypress preparing to storm the Shooting Range.
REMIEL: Cypress, I apologise for the threats of warcrimes during our previous engagement.
REMIEL: They were merely a bluff in an attempt to get Spark's forces to cooperate, or at least sow doubt among their ranks.
REMIEL: "Good cop, bad cop" is too overused to be effective, but "good cop, bad maniacal mind-controller that can't even be controlled by their own team" still gets results.
REMIEL: But mea culpa, I shouldn't have gone so overboard with it when I didn't get a chance to warn you first.
REMIEL: Oh, and my monologuing was almost entirely misinformation. I actually have much more control than I previously let on.
REMIEL: (please don't shoot me)

Shooting Range
Remiel spawns at M5, bonus-action self-Sleeps, activates Raindrop that Fell, and meditates. And gets a modifier spell.

<ROUND 263>

First, the game processes some laboratory stuff! Saltling Wiki processes, increasing Scan Range to 1-5! Is this really all that useful? Maybe. Who knows?

---

Crystal modifies their loadout. This involves a slight gear reshuffle, and +1 MHP and +1 RES. Pope also acts through Crystal’s post, tossing their points into DEF. As a note, I’m not sure how long this “remote control” sort of setup should go on for. I am worried about this becoming some sort of sockpuppet-but-not-really thing, and I’m wondering if there’s anything we could do to address that? Hm.

---

[urlhttps://dtgforums.jcink.net/index.php?showtopic=102&view=findpost&p=21869]The Reflector and Hannah decide to attempt diplomacy.[/url] Well, diplomacy of a sort.

---

Crya explains some god-based stuff to Chi. As it would with most mortals, it goes over Chi’s head. There are many worlds of gods?

CHI: So… if there are many godly worlds, how do the gods of other planes fit into this?
CHI: I’d assume that Lord Helix fits into this? Or Lord Dome? Or many of the other minor deities that us Chairians follow?
CHI: And is not killing your people even though you’re angry really “benevolent”?
CHI: If “benevolence” is the act of not killing people, then I’m quite worried...

Crya also decides to explain arm wrestling to Chi. Her face goes green. H-Handholding? COMPETITIVE HANDHOLDING? Oh word.

CHI: A-Ah!? I-It IS indecent!
CHI: W-We are in public, m-miss Crya! L-Leave such indecent discussion for when we are in p-private!

...Despite the embarrassment, Chi can’t help but laugh to herself. It’s a genuine, wholesome laugh. Once she settles down, there’s a gentle smile on her lips.

CHI: P-Perhaps you just aren’t f-familiar with the customs of our people, though?
CHI: It’s alright. I understand.
CHI: It’s… been awhile since I’ve just been able to have a chat with someone.
CHI: So thank you, miss Crya.

...Chi’s morale ticks up to 50%!

CRYA ACCOMPLISHMENT GET: High Morale

Aw yeah. Now you’re validated.

---

Adria notes to Taeda that they’re not very likely to rapidly age. Taeda breathes a sigh of relief, poking her face with her outstretched pointer finger.

TAEDA: W-Well, I hope you’re right!
TAEDA: I’d hate to win this war, only to discover I’m celebrating my one-hundredth birthday!

The engineer then explains to the priestess that despite their time-manipulating abilities, they’re unable to change the reality that their planet is mostly useless desert. Has Taeda ever heard of a desert?

TAEDA: A desert?
TAEDA: Large, sandy, little vegetation or water…
TAEDA: It sounds like the lands around Tabletopia.
TAEDA: Rich in minerals, and poor in… everything else.
TAEDA: It’d be a nightmare for a Chairian, but the Tabletopians survive out there just fine.

Anyway, Adria explains that just having the one city makes the infrastructure thing far easier, and lets them put resources into other things they know will be safe.

TAEDA: You’re right! Better to be safe than sorry, right?
TAEDA: But… won’t it get cramped in there?
TAEDA: Unless like, you built underground like the Rose Cult did.
TAEDA: Since you have the technology though, wouldn’t it be nice to expand?
TAEDA: Then again, I don’t know much about these sorts of things...

Adria then overhears Nana and Auth talking about turrets. Adria theorizes that the time-shifting abilities of the Thymefield affected her as well.

NANA: O-Oh! That’d explain it!
NANA: No wonder you’re exhausted, then...
TAEDA: Yeah! Just take it easy, alright?

The group then begins to chatter about moving out back towards the house, and getting lunch. It’s only a short distance away, too.

TAEDA: Hm, alright!
TAEDA: I believe the others are ready, so… shall we get going?

It’s time to get travelling! Perhaps this’ll be expanded on during the Author’s post?

---

Not!Echoss arranges a variety of things. First, he arranges a scan on a Primus, the Turrim, and also Aoki. The last one's free, since Aoki is literally right there.

>Codex Updated!
>Codex Updated!
>Codex Updated!

...That took a bit. Anyway, Not!Not!Echoss returns to Sussui, putting 8 units of Exotic Sandwich Stuffs into the inventory, as Consumables. The rest will be used for actually making lunch! He also stores a Subspace Grocery Box in the inventory. He greets Chi as he enters the kitchen, introducing himself as Echoss Ravenstar. She's the slightest bit surprised to see someone here while a siege is being held on the Sky Labs, but whatever.

CHI: Oh, hello.
CHI: I am Stella Manchineel. But please, call me "Chi".
CHI: It is a pleasure to meet you as well, sir Echoss.

She bows back from where she sits at the table.

CHI: It seems you have brought back confections?
CHI: ...How did you store all of that within the confines of a small little box?

Spacer technology. It's a bit of a trip.

---

Irongutta retrieves Piggo from the Old Pass! Piggo oinks happily as they stop their trotting, settling down near Irongutta's leg and gently brushing up against him. The other, far more grizzled Sapsqueal stares at Irongutta. While it can't really understand Irongutta, it seems to understand the general sentiment that Piggo knows where they're going. And so, they follow Irongutta. But where to? Straight home? Or does he have some other grand plans?

---

Auth continues to do a lot of things. Like, wow. This is one chonker of a post. Anyway, Auth asks Taeda if she'd mind if he held onto the statue for now. The priestess shakes her head.

TAEDA: Sure! That'd be a great help!
TAEDA: Although... are you sure you can handle it?
TAEDA: N-No offense, but you look as frail as me...

As Taeda ponders how he's meant to carry it with his noodle arms (totally unaware of his 200 Dangerous), Auth notes to Nana that it's time to move out! It was a fun adventure, right?

NANA: Y-Yeah! It was!
NANA: I-I don't think I could thank you enough for what you've done here today...
NANA: To think that there really were Godblossoms left out there!

Soon enough, the team groups up, and begins to make their way back to the house. Adria shuffles along with a makeshift walking stick, Taeda motioning for Nana to go to her side and help her along, which she does. This gives her a chance to match speed with the Author, who still has questions about... marriage. According to Auth, it's certainly a future possibility.

TAEDA: ...Sir Author, I didn't say I wouldn't tell you.
TAEDA: I'll teach you all you want, or get you a book on the subject if I can find one.
TAEDA: Just don't rush your relationship, alright?

As they travel, and Auth gives his thoughts and musings on wedding procedures, he notes that it'd take quite a lot of training to run a church properly.

TAEDA: Yeah!
TAEDA: I'm studying a lot so that maybe one day, I can run a small church of my own!
TAEDA: If it weren't for the current situation, I'd probably be doing some studies around now...

TAEDA: As for the last event held in the Church of Helix... well, it was a military briefing. We were scheduled to evacuate...
TAEDA: B-But, that's not what you're looking for, is it?
TAEDA: The last thing of note to occur there was a simple wedding.
TAEDA: There were these two Chairian women who begged us to be wed before the town was evacuated... so we did!

TAEDA: It was a small thing, and hardly anyone attended... but they were happy!
TAEDA: Many of us Devout sung in the choir for them, since we couldn't exactly organize a team of singers then...
TAEDA: It was lovely.

Elsewhere, over with Chi, Auth explains to her that death is far harder to make stick, but it's still a thing. In addition, healers are still incredibly valuable! The dead can't just tape themselves up!

CHI: Ah, I guess that'd make sense.
CHI: The dead wouldn't be able to fix themselves.
CHI: Though, I'd imagine that if you were to... "die" out in the wilderness, you would effectively be truly dead, as nobody would be able to find you?
CHI: I wonder what sort of natural conditions would be required to create a world where death is a rarity...

In the same area, Auth explains to Chloe that not everything is lethal, seriously! There's even talking cats. Chloe perks up. Cats? Talking? How adorable! Or how terrifying. Cats are after all, little killing machines.

CHLOE: Ooh, cool!
CHLOE: Although, I guess that'd make pet ownership really weird! Or easy.
CHLOE: Your cat walks up to you, tells you that you're an inferior lifeform, then it sits on your keyboard.
CHLOE: Or maybe your cat can tell you that they're hungry, so you can help them!
CHLOE: ...Or alternatively, owning a cat is a crime! Who knows?
CHLOE: I'd imagine Mr. or Ms. Cat Mayor doesn't want their people under the servitude of humans.

Also, apparently Sorrow Spiders aren't nearly as common as Chloe thinks they are. The Neath is also a gigantic underground cavern.

CHLOE: O-Oh!
CHLOE: W-Well, that's a relief!
CHLOE: As long as the common house spider doesn't want your eyes, odds are things are fine!

CHLOE: ...Also, you live in a cave?
CHLOE: Wouldn't it be awfully cold down there? And dark?
CHLOE: That can't be pleasant...

Auth then thanks Chloe for the Parabolan Orange-Apples. She blushes, giving him a smile.

CHLOE: Aw, you're welcome!
CHLOE: I'd taste one, but the guys at the Echo Collective told me they're apparently kinda toxic or something.
CHLOE: Apparently if you prepare them properly, they're fine though, so... don't kill us, okay?

Finally, Auth approaches Aoki, who's still suffering from inner toxins. She does her best to communicate that all of her injuries are poison-related, and conventional healing magic really won't do anything. To that end, Auth decides to cast Purify on her. The remaining poisons are quickly washed from her system, and Aoki's fatigue begins to fade. With wobbly legs, she does her best to stand, using Auth as a support.

AOKI: T-That... h-helps...
AOKI: Thank... y-you...

Though she tries to stand on her own, she's soon forced to cling to Auth once again.

AOKI: T-Tell me... is everyone okay?
AOKI: I-I don't... know what happened...
AOKI: I-It's all been... a-a bit of a blur...
AOKI: Contracted a-and deployed in t-the span of a day...
AOKI: I-I really need to... l-lie down somewhere...

...Perhaps it'd be worth taking her somewhere to rest? Or maybe you can throw her in the foam pit. That's probably comfortable enough.

I like foam pits.

---

Chara decides to do some gathering! They also have a bit of a freakout regarding meta stuff™, but that's out of my field of expertise! She then heads to the Sky Labs, and enters the Shifting Storage! Like most reasonable people, she enters through the door. She then attempts to loot literally the entire room down to its air, cables, wall paint, doors, and probably walls too, but she only manages to strip 50 units of Dried Paint into the inventory before finding that yes- looting a room in this matter is completely unfeasible.

They do however, manage to pick up a weapon. Prototype: Azure Bomber obtained! They then manage to find Chloe, greeting them quite happily. Chloe's surprised to see them, but are happy nonetheless.

CHLOE: Oh! Heya, Chara!
CHLOE: Where've you been? It's nice to see you!

Is it time for Chloe to level up her babysitting skills? Who knows?

---

<NORTH OF THE PASS, ROUND 6>
Battle complete! Nice job! With the entrance to the forge now located, you'll be able to go and raid it... right after the fight with Acacia, perhaps! Having two large battles going on at once doesn't sound economically feasible.

<THE SHOOTING RANGE, ROUND 2>
Acacia cackles to herself as Venia asks if she's meant to take any of this seriously.

ACACIA: Still? You underestimate me still?
ACACIA: You think I'm so far beneath you, don't you?
ACACIA: I'll show you.
ACACIA: I'll even show you with that spell "you" taught me.

With a flick of her wand, Acacia causes a gigantic beam of light to crash down from the sky. It causes a rather large explosion, leaving a crater in the steel floor.

ACACIA: "Liberation."
ACACIA: It was a pathetic excuse for a spell.
ACACIA: But, I made it so much more.
ACACIA: I'll be sure to destroy you with it.

Venia then activates the Shard of Madness! As Acacia continues to cackle incoherently, a voice comes over the intercoms. The very first word through it causes Acacia to shut right up. Her eyes fly wide open, absolutely terrified. The voice of the man on the other side is deep. Booming. Incredibly professional. And perhaps more than anything, cold.

???: Acacia.
ACACIA: M-Master...?

Immediately, Acacia bows down. An airship can be heard overhead. Like every other goddamn reinforcement drop in this zone, two large, bulky Chairians crash down through the roof. Cypress flinches, and immediately attempts to hack the intercoms.

CYPRESS: Alert. Voice: Chairheir Spark.
CYPRESS: Intercoms: overridden. Strange. Spark's tech: low.
CYPRESS: Cannot re-establish control.

While Cypress fiddles desperately with his terminal, the two soldiers that have deployed beside Acacia shift in front of her, standing proud with their shields pointed forward. Flames lick off of their shining surface.

SPARK: I am giving you one more chance.
SPARK: Not out of the goodness of my heart, of course.
SPARK: Because it is convenient.
SPARK: You should be praising me for even giving you such a chance.
ACACIA: O-Of course!
ACACIA: M-Master, I thank you f-for giving a-a worm like me another chance!
ACACIA: Y-You will be proud! W-We shall grind their corpses into nothingness!
SPARK: Of course.

Acacia springs back up from her kneeling position, spinning Nidhoggr around, soon thrusting it forwards with a flourish.

SPARK: With my guidance, we can put an end to them.
SPARK: But, we cannot succeed if you do not play your part.
SPARK: Any failure here will be the fault of your utter worthlessness, and inability to command your troops.
SPARK: And, if you fail me once more...
SPARK: ...Well, I shouldn't need to explain what would happen.
ACACIA: Y-Yes, master.
ACACIA: But with your help, failure isn't even a possibility!
ACACIA: W-We shall win! We shall!

Once again, a twisted smile returns to Acacia's visage, her wicked grin striking fear towards all who witness it. The two Shieldbearers by her side take a step forward, prepared to fight!

...Anyway, the first round went over well enough. Now it's time to go on the offensive! Wipe out Acacia's forces, and see if you can maybe start making moves on her Shield Generators! It might also be worth trying to disrupt her spellcasting by standing next to her. Though, that'll be quite dangerous- you'll need to make sure you're not hit by either Devastation or Calamity when you try that!

exist exist exist exist, come on I need you to exist—
CHARA: *HAcKkKHhhhhhHHhHhh*

Mere onomatopoeia fails to fully describe the ear-rending noise that comes out of Chara's mouth, as...

Ah, right. This exists again.

---

D31 Roll:

19 - She / Her

---

...her internal organs practically try forcing themselves out through it amidst all the coughing and wheezing. Still, in some barely active corner of her mind, she is grateful to have regained consciousness before she experienced full activity death - it would be quite disadvantageous to have it happen not just again, but also on the ship of all places. A stray thought of "What would happen if I died in the hold and the ship was destroyed before anyone could find me?" crosses their mind, before being swatted aside as quickly as it came. Nothing would happen. They have a backup body at the house. Stop being so sentimental. Stop b-

CHARA: aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JESUS FUCK NO no NO NO

What? What's happening?

CHARA: NO no noN O NO nO no no NO

Cut that out this instant. I see what the problem is, but

CHARA: NO NO NO NO... no... nnno...
CHARA: i hate that woman

Don't we all. Sheesh. Alright, I'll give her a moment to calm down and move onto an explanation of this weird intrusion. For some mindboggling aesthetical reason, Francia decided to assign an audiovisual effect to a Piece recovering from inertia: coughing up dust, a whole lot of it. Enough to, let's say, stain their hands and most of their clothes. Enough to cause this kind of reaction in someone who associates dust with something far different from what anyone else would. Someone who has had to deal with plenty of those with duststained hands in their past.

Before this gets even more unnecessarily angsty, I shall use my authority as the current narrator to skip to her recovering from the shock. I estimate-

Oh, who am I? Why, Joseph, of course. The third and current Autotranscriber is at its son's Bar Mitzvah, and Frisky is too busy yelling at some NIS organization ignoring their and Homu's emails. Something about preferring pandering to some "hype among us"? It's always hard to understand those folks, and rarely ever useful. So, since I finally came down from my... unprofessional episode of heightened emotion, I've been assigned as the temporary narrator until literally anyone else is able to replace me. I'd complain about the crazy lady's lack of faith in my narration skill, but I did just condense a highly dramatic breakdown into a mere awkward spectacle. Almost makes me feel sorry for her.

Almost.

So after all of this nonsense is over and done with, Chara picks herself up like a responsible big kid, teleporting onto the Sky Labs floor because she'd probably miss the jump in her current state. She lies there for some thirteen seconds, before dragging herself to her feet and beginning to saunter around the place, with the distinct pace of- oh no.
With the distinct pace of a drunkard. Seems her emotional overburdenedness got converted to intoxication again. There is absolutely no way any interaction with a sapient being will end well in her current state. Not that most of you would mind that, I heard alcoholics making fools of themselves is funny to you folks.

Well, we can leave the worrying about any non/human encounters for later. Right now, she is staggering past the building where at least five beings are huddled together, past a Nettle (to whom she tries showing the most energetic smile she can manage), stopping at the door. She stands perfectly still for half a minute until she snaps back into focus, exploiting the Inventory's surreal mechanics to unlock the door with an apparently communal keycard. She carries onward, right, left, right, left, until she comes across the airship wreckage and the door to the Shifting Storage. Curious, she enters, and is confronted by

CHARA: OooOoh, free shit!

which she proceeds to loot- no, strip to the bone, including the air crystals, and the cables, and the wall paint, and the ajar door. She also notices the

CHARA: GUN

and privately loots it, "privately looting" here meaning "barely hiding it in a pocket of their shorts rather than unloading it into the Inventory." Seems she wishes to tinker with it later, which is odd, considering that this is the brand name knife enthusiast we are talking about. Content, she pulls out a second keycard to exit out the other door, practically crawling towards the Chemical Laboratory before stopping at the entrance - did she not pass Marron already at reception? Something fucky is going on here. Something-

CHARA: Chloe? Chloeeeeeeeee! Finallllyyyy! Found youu!

are we really doing this
christ kill me

Echoss talks to Chi:
"Oh, this?
Hmm..."
Echoss frowns for a moment and then sighs.
"My apologies, but my ability to look these things up on command is currently... inaccessible.
All that I can remember off the top of my head is that it uses a portable subspace overlay, you'll need to ask me again in a few hours for a more in-depth answer I'm afraid."


Pionobot goes to talk to the other prisoners:
Pionobot, seeing that Aoki is in good hands, decides to do two things. Since we need to do things at least somewhat in a compact time, I'm gonna handle them both here.

First: he approaches Cypress
"So, yes, questions.
I've got like... two I think? The others probably have some of their own but everyone else seems to have left already.
So, first: Do you know why they think you're working with the Rebe-"
Pionobot blinks suddenly.
"Wait a second, ARE you working for the Rebellion?
Me and Maple were looking at some of the supply pallets over on the side of the wing that had the Mitocyst infection, and she said they're all stacked up like the Rebel supplies...
And the scans in the database for the Rebellion are being done by you... but the one for the Zabuton is the only thing blocked... Since you and Omorika are the only ones who seem to have direct access over what we can see..."
Pionobot's brow furrows a bit, and he looks over at the Sleuth.
"I'm not just grasping at straws, am I?"

After whatever transpires with that conversation, Pionobot makes his way over to the pirsoners.
"Alright, I can tell you lot aren't really in a helpful mood, but team policy seems to be making sure all PoWs are okay as far as we can do so.
Not gonna lie you're probably gonna be here for a while, there's not really any easy way to get you guys back to Legion territory at the moment so far as I know. Is there anything you need before we run off and get back to saving the universe?"


BATTLE
Pionobot looks at Acacia in disbelief as Spark chews her out over the intercom.
"I. You. YOU CAN'"
He seems to spark out for a bit, clutching his head.
"Warning, baseline is"
"Yeah I know, give him the voicebox it should keep him occupied while I fix things below."
Pionobot gives a low, dark chuckle.
"So this is what the infamous siege mage Acacia has come to?
It's quite funny, how quick all of you are to defend Spark, when he sees you as pawns- no, less than pawns. Disposable, trash. He can say it to your face that you all could die and it wouldn't give him pause, and yet here you stand, convinced that he's the second coming of chair-Jesus. Or Lord Helix or whatever.
Acacia, Acacia, Acacia. You can't be serious, can you? You were so determined just a moment ago to reclaim your glory, to prove yourself against the people who knocked you off your high horse what... four, five days ago?
Not even a week, and you've driven yourself into the ground good grief.
But then, it gets better! Spark comes over on the intercom, can't even be bothered to say anything to your face, and says outright that if you win it was HIS victory but if you lose its YOUR fault.
He's outright stated that you're worth so little to him that he can't even be bothered to give you the glory. He's all but said that you are nothing to him even if you win this fight, and yet you're still willing to surrender even the pride of winning this fight to him.
Is this really what you want? Patheti-"
Pionobot abruptly stops, freezing in place midway through his grand gesture.
"Acacia, I was worried about you until you toppled over like a cardboard cutout the instant Spark showed interest in this fight.
Either stand up for yourself or fall over out of our path.
And YOU Spark.
Since so far your leadership has been the most lackluster thing we've found on Sussui so far, watch your back. You won't be nearly such hot stuff once we've reached you and you can't get people who actually do their jobs to take the hit for you."

On the chance that I don't get to make my actual RP tomorrow:
Pionobot moves to O13 and basic attacks the morph

The Shooting Range
Woodthorne uses Tend on (Fluxblood) Nia, removing Emboldened and granting them Invigorated1.
He then moves to D10 and guards. (may change if I feel like deciding on an action.

Nettle spits in Acacia's direction.

NETTLE: As if you know even half of what I'm capable of!

Nettle moves to N11, and uses Sing Unto Me on Morph1's body, moving it to F9. She then casts Shackling Blast on the Permafrost Robe. Generic and the Earthshaker both fuel her blast (thanks to Threshold), but only the Earthshaker is destroyed- roots erupt from the ground to pull it under.

Upheaval activates, "freezing" Halberdier2.

Cypress then attacks the now-frozen Halberdier.

Battle - The Shooting Range

When Hannah hears Acacia call Spark 'Master', she visibly starts getting nauseous. "...O-Oh. You've gotta be pecking with me... Acacia, the one I've heard so much about... the one who nearly ground me into a fine red mist... what, you're taking orders from a peckneck who doesn't even give a flying peck about any of what you are? Are you dense!?"

"I don't care if you don't give a peck about what I say. But is this peckneck's acceptance of you really worth the trouble? Honestly you're probably better off wandering off and doing your own thing. At least you wouldn't lose to a random group of misfits every time you see them. (heh)"

Hannah then glares at the intercom with utter malice in her eyes and voice. "And you... Spark, yeah? peck you, pal. It's types like you that I despise. It's types like you I wouldn't mind seeing beg for their life as they die a slow, painful, miserable death. I'm not afraid of you, or anyone else like you!"

"I'm gonna mulch you and stuff your remains in a jar! Then I'll sell it in some sort of black market for profit! I did it once, and I'll do it again! Yeah, I'm savage, what're any of you gonna do about it!?"

"...Ugh... pecking royalty, I swear... always think they're the best thing to grace time itself... even the sane ones..."

"also heck off ven i insult who i want, i agree he's a piece of trash though"
"...wait what's an ikea?"

She huffs, ranted out for now. She moves to (E4), hacks the nearby console (with simplified controls, so bonus action) to drop covers (E12), (M13), and (H18). She then finishes her move by going to (E6) and spawning a Mirror Image on (F7).

---

"Carica" - Border Outpost

Once the rebel leaves, Hannah snickers. "Heh. Too easy... but the guy does have a point. I wonder if..."

Hannah starts rooting through the crates for anything that would suit her well as a disguise of sorts. Tech, magic, clothing, voice modulator, anything. She'll need to look and sound at least passably convincing out here.

---

House - Adria

On the way back, Adria keeps talking to Taeda about her homeworld and home city. The desert sounds like the land surrounding Tabletopia - rich in minerals but lacking in other stuff. She nods. "Mhm, yup, that's a desert. Or a wasteland of some other variety; hard to say, seems I haven't been there..."

She then asks how they fit everyone into a single city? Wouldn't it get crowded very quickly? Adria chuckles. "We just keep making the same city bigger! No, really!"

"Though I suppose I should clarify... not larger solely outwards, but also upwards and inwards. Towering modular skyscrapers for living spaces, underground for certain short-term work or massive projects, houses on floating island platforms, that sort of thing."

"...I don't really know why someone would want to live underground. I believe it would get very dull very fast. Plus, it would be very difficult to get out in case of any sort of emergency."

"Most of us greatly prefer the lofty heights of the skyscrapers and floating buildings anyway. Something about seeing the harsh desert on the horizon is oddly captivating... or even just seeing the city below, with the people and vehicles looking like tiny insects along the roads, walkways, and hardlight bridges. Even just looking at some of the numerous giant plant stalks we've recently incorporated into our architecture; We're pretty big on aesthetics too."

"And it's all protected by an environmental barrier that keeps loose sand from blowing into the city."

"...You're probably wondering why we even need things like weapons at all. Well... it's considerably more lenient on Chronodust. Making the barrier strong enough so nothing hostile gets through to the city takes far more Chronodust Crystals than it's worth, as the fauna are also frequently infused with the stuff, which actually makes it more valuable to hunt some of them down on occasion to extract said infused Chronodust."

Once back at the house, Adria sits down and lies back on the couch to... you know, take a break. She drinks from her canteen again. She looks comfy.

Though it deems she can't let her hands sit still for long enough, idly hand-crafting a pair of glasses for herself. Not for any particular reason, moreso just to get a good aesthetic going.

After Crystal makes their move, Destiny moves to E11, Observes the Splintershot, and Hookshots on to him, landing at C14.

-----------------------------------

Ah, that's not what I really meant at all really, about benevolence. We all have hands in choosing good leaders, trying to find ways to advance the technology of our people further without creating greatly destructive items, all that kind of stuff! T-though I guess what can be called "benevolent" varies quite a bit.
A-anyways, yeah, sorry about talking about the... uh weird handholding things, that stuff is treated differently where I am from.
So, I'm glad you feel better. I guess you can have the rest of this pie, give me a moment.
Crya cuts a piece for herself.
I think I should speak to Mr. Echoss now. I hope you enjoy that pie! See you around.

After that, Crya decides to have a chat with Echoss.

Battle: The Shooting Range

"Hannah, Pionobot, knock it off!" Venia shouts. "Trash like Neo-Ikea isn't worth any more energy than it needs to clean it up and drop it in the bin. Focus on what's important."

"Acacia, I won't argue for you not to kill us, but don't do it for the King Ikea knockoff. Whatever you want to do it for, don't do it for the thing who murdered Abies, reborn as a Chairian. Or are you too caught up in being 'useful' to not notice? Didn't Abies die from being burnt alive? Did you know that? Do you even care about him, Hersilia, Wattle? Hersilia almost died out there, we were quite lucky Chi was around. Where were you?"

"No, Acacia. I can't take your motives seriously, and that's basically all I can really take seriously. Why would I take power seriously? I've been in 'over my head' way too many times now. This isn't one of them, by the way. Reflector, please rebuff Acacia's magic while I take out Neo-Ikea's troops over yonder."

Venia spends 10 MP to regain Ordo through Nia, then moves to I11. She uses the Elemental Blaster twice on Halberdier1, set to electric, downing them... Unless Venia low-rolled the damage twice (due to Soothing Storm boosting the Halberdier's AC to 5, there's a chance the final damage can be a point off), in which case Venia will Hat-ping that Halberdier to down. This will not proc the Standard-bearer's trait, as in this instance they'd be below 33% HP either way. Venia then fires on the Standard-bearer, dealing a great chunk of their HP, then pings them twice via Heart to down, also bypassing its own trait and thus removing it on those around them.

The Wonderer will wait for the reflector to move, whereupon they will use Displace to move the Reflector (or their Mirror) to I12 (or insert a requested tile here later) when the latter moves towards Venia, so they can still act later. They move to K12, and set up Friendly Fire, targeting the Reflector (or their Mirror Image, whoever's on I12 right now) and the Royal Shieldbearer2, respectively.

"If you're going to be that focused on killing us, instead of defeating us, you won't win. Come on. Come on!"

---

North of the Pass

"Excellent job, everyone!" Venia exclaims. "Now, excuse me. I have to cleanse these Rose Cultists while they're unconscious..."

Venia sets about, Purging all the unconscious Rose Cultists, one by one, carefully restraining herself from going full-out for her signature devastating Purge, and very quickly sniping the Scale Reapers as they pop out, smiling all the while.

"... I like this. I really hope it helps."

... Venia kicks the dirt on the road as she works. "... Stupid Regalus! Just... Why? What was even the point?"

She might want someone to talk to. Or, vent to, as the case may be.

---

Mariaaaaaaa

Maria was so shocked by the previous revelation she's been standing there doe-eyed for at least an entire update.

"... Did you try telling them not to explode?" Maria asks. "Maybe they just need to be told not to."

"Have you considered anti-magic fields in breeding pens or similar so they are physically incapable?" Regalus chimes in. "Quite an interesting survival mechanism either way..."

---

BATTLES - THE SHOOTING RANGE

The Reflector moves to M12 and Guards, setting their Water resistance to Fire instead. The Mirror Reflector moves towards the Wonderer to allow it to displace them to I12 and also Guards, changing their Water resistance to Earth. Both of them also gain Enchant:Water, in case they decide to... basic attack Acacia? That doesn't seem likely, but it can't hurt, can it?

---

THE BORDER OUTPOST

"Lilac" takes a moment to examine the weapon? lying around in the outpost. Once she's ascertained its nature, she heads out (leaving Hannah to change into some sort of disguise) and, realizing how many options are before her, decides this is a job for a few more people. As such, she casts Mirror Image. The original "Lilac" heads across the runway to the hangars, keeping an eye out for the shipment on the way, while Mirror "Lilac" heads to the communications hub.

Irecreeper presents, the annual tradition...
CHAOS FIVE
...Also known as, "Chaos Awards 5".

---

...Begin Log.

My name is Mari Elem. As of the time of today’s recording, it has been three hundred and sixty five days since the day the Protemmietor impacted the planet, causing an explosion which destroyed the world.The blastwave obliterated everything within a large radius of the epicenter, leaving quite literally nothing standing. Millions of tons of dust was flung into the atmosphere around Awardoverse Sussui, blotting out the sun and killing most of the trees on the planet. Not even Tabletopia was spared. It’s said that they left the planet when it became clear the planet would be uninhabitable.

I’m honestly not sure how I survived. Instead of merely being obliterated, the floating island which we held our award show on was launched an incredible distance. Unknown to me, Chaos had equipped the island with a ridiculous amount of defenses. Shield generators, shock absorbers, all of the leftover stat booster orbs from the last game, the Reflector’s resistances… lots of stuff. Of course, the island still fell apart from the explosion, but at the very least, I didn’t die.

I woke up in a wasteland, newly scorched by the blast of the Protemmietor. Thanks to the properties of this universe, I had only been knocked unconscious by the explosion and subsequent crash landing. Nobody was in sight. All I had to my name was some wreckage, a voice recorder, and… somehow, my clothes. Science can’t explain how durable clothing is.

Anyway, I took what I had, and began exploring the wasteland. Though my companions had likely survived like I had, from my calculations, we would all be spread far and wide. Think of say… the Battle Bus exploding in midair, throwing everyone fifty thousand meters in any direction. The odds of me finding anyone would be astronomically low.

Every day, I barely scraped by eating whatever sort of nutrition I could find. I could collect ash-tainted rain from the rare rainstorm. I travelled during the day, and bunkered down during the freezing nights. Try as I might’ve to find anyone, all I have been able to locate are “humans” who seem to barely know what it means to survive.

Despite everything, I have proven one thing to be true. I am the queen of the wasteland. With my unmatched knowledge, I will- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

---

Whap. Marron snatches the voice recorder from Mari. The two of them are sitting in what’s clearly a makeshift building, made from the remnants of shipping crates and news broadcaster stations. The two of them, despite the apparent apocalypse, don’t seem worse for wear. Marron takes the recorder, and stashes it in the inventory for later use. Mari stares at her assailant, unamused.

MARRON: WE NEEDED YOU LIKE, THREE HOURS AGO!
MARRON: WE’RE PREPPING FOR THE AWARDS SHOW, AND YOU JUST DITCH?
MARRON: DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW HOW TO SET UP A CAMERA?
MARI: No, you don’t strike me as the type intelligent enough to-
MARRON: SERIOUSLY!?

Slap! Mari’s head snaps to the left as Marron’s hand leaves a red mark on her cheek. Marron chains this into the highly lethal Multislap, smacking Mari around with the force of a Knockback II weapon. Mari falls out of her chair.

MARI: O-Ow, gorilla!
MARI: I-I would’ve helped, but I had more important things to attend to! Like exposition!
MARRON: Ah, of course.
MARRON: Like gorillaing into your voice recorder thingy again because someone is upset that we haven’t been focusing on the... “essentials”, like “gaming PC’s” and “doritos”?
MARRON: Need I remind you that it is LITERALLY THE gorillaING APOCALYPSE?
MARI: In my defense, Cyberpunk is releasing soon, and I gotta-

Marron grabs Mari by the leg, and begins to drag her off. Try as she might to resist, Marron’s STR stat eclipses Mari’s. The scientist is unable to stop herself from being dragged through the door, and into the sunlight.

Despite what Mari may have communicated, the blast created by Protemmitor hasn’t been nearly as calamatic as she implied. While yes, the sun is partially blotted out by ash, there’s still more than enough light to grow crops and travel mostly unimpeded. And yes, the blast has clearly damaged the local environment, but it’s far from barren. As it seems, the duo has emerged into a pink forest, with beautiful fields of equally pink grass and plenty of flora. While yes, it seems that the trees have slightly mutated in the wake of Protemmitor’s explosion, they’re still healthy and growing.

Within these woods, scattered between the trees, are various makeshift buildings made from scrap metal and wood. Half a dozen little cabins for sleeping, a large mess hall for meals, and even a strange box-shaped structure with a dozen turrets haphazardly placed inside and around it. This was practically a full-blown colony, surrounded by tall wooden walls with guard towers on each corner.

Marron drags Mari across a flagstone road, the scientist bumping and sliding over every nook and cranny in the road. Though the settlement certainly is large, nobody is in sight. The sound of falling trees and rampant construction echoes in the distance. From the distance, Marron can see Chloe, wheeling about in a wheelbarrow-turned-car-but-also-still-wheelbarrow. She stops by the duo, leaning out a window.

CHLOE: Heeeey! You found Mari!
MARRON: Yep. Found her.
MARRON: She was recording more apocalypse logs.
CHLOE: A-Again? Y-You know those aren’t good for morale!
MARI: Know what’s not good for morale? Not having a proper setup!
CHLOE: W-We’re doing our best, y’know!
CHLOE: We were lucky to even be able to find enough things to hold the yearly awards show...
MARI: WHY DO WE EVEN CARE ABOUT THESE gorillaING AWARD SHOWS
MARI: IT IS LITERALLY THE APOCALYPSE-
MARRON: EXACTLY!
MARRON: That’s why we’re doing it.
MARRON: Serial escalation, y’know?
CHLOE: Yeah!

CHLOE: Anyway, I’ve gotta get going.
CHLOE: Gotta pick up more supplies! Chaos wants a loooot of rockets for some reason, and I know better than to question him!
CHLOE: Mostly because questioning him usually makes things worse!
CHLOE: See you later!

Chloe drives off past the duo, and past the little “communications shed” that Mari was in earlier. Continuing to drag Mari forward, Marron eventually arrives in a little clearing. The grass here has died, and it seems that many trees have been brutally hacked away to create this space. In the middle of the clearing is a gigantic wooden stage, still under construction. Various figures scramble about the place, hauling materials to and fro, hammering bits and pieces into place.

Ette, currently on her lunch break, hops off of a tree branch. She then shoves the rest of her sandwich down her mouth, and runs towards Marron. The seamstress finds herself ambushed in a warm hug, accidentally letting go of Mari’s leg. As Mari picks herself up and dusts the dust off her clothes.

ETTE: Sis! You found Mari! Yaaaay!~
ETTE: Chaos has been lookin’ all over for you!
MARRON: ...Chaos wasn’t looking for gorilla.
MARRON: Chaos has been on a lunch break for the past three hours.
MARRON: I don’t think he even needs to eat!
MARI: I don’t think he even needs to breathe.

MARI: So… before you drag me off again, what am I needed for?
MARRON: Chaos wants you to set up the cameras, screen transitions, lighting, green screen, and-
MARI: So… everything important?
MARRON: Everything important.
MARI: gorilla.
MARI: Should’ve fought back against you more.
MARRON: Then I’d need to break your legs.
MARRON: Again.
MARI: But you’ve never actually-

Ette suddenly raises her hand, springing up and down as she butts in.

ETTE: Oh! Oh! Oh!
ETTE: Chaos also needs you for a super secret project, Mari!
MARRON: We have a what?
ETTE: He says it’s like, a super special something that’ll make this year’s show even more amazing than the last!
MARI: ...Sounds dangerous.
MARI: Do I have a say in the matter?

MARI: Don’t answer that.
MARI: Of course I don’t.
MARI: I’m not even gonna resist.
MARI: If I die during the super secret construction, just bury me in an unmarked grave in the middle of the woods.
MARRON: If we could die in this canon, I’d have put you in the ground already!
MARI: I’d like to see you-

Blap. Marron puts an arrow through Mari’s head, dealing a (100) damage. She falls over, dead. Ette removes the arrow, and expends some SP to use Needlework! She stabs the needle through the hole in Mari’s head, then swiftly remove it. Inexplicably, Mari gets up. Seems she shas the slightest headache.

MARI: ...Point taken.
MARI: I’m just gonna… go.
MARRON: You better!

Mari hops up onto the stage, and immediately begins fiddling with a camera which it looks like Marron attempted to work on. Clapping her hands together, Marron signals for Ette to follow her. They each have some work to do!

The two of them skip past the stage, wandering by a few pairs of workers. Yew and Hannah are working together, corroding bits of metal into shape and passing them off to other builders. Auth and Nana are busy holding hands, and generally being unproductive. Taeda stands on the sidelines, being the best darn manager anyone has ever seen. Maple and Cypress meanwhile, are jetting around and working on some of the electronics.

<span style='font-family:courier new'>MARRON: Looks like everyone- or uh, most of us- have been doing their job.
MARRON: So, uh… Ette.
MARRON: Do you know who’s hosting this year?
ETTE: Yeah!
ETTE: Since it’s the apocalypse and budget’s no longer a thing, Chaos was able to hire famous songstress Aoki to do things!
ETTE: But then she realized that these work conditions are actually really bad, and she quit!
ETTE: Then he decided to hire Cypress because he’s really technical, but you can probably guess why that wouldn’t work out!
ETTE: He was really excited to get on stage, too…
ETTE: Oh, yeah! Then he tried to get Nana onboard, but she just sorta ran away, and Auth got mad at us.
ETTE: Then we tried-
MARRON: ...Uh, mind just telling me who’s hosting?
ETTE: Okay!
ETTE: Omorika’s co-hosting this year! And the main host is…
ETTE: Drum roll...

Ette drums her fingers against Marron’s hair, making a little “pah” noise with every little impact.

ETTE: ...Ette Needleworker!
ETTE: That’s me!~
MARRON: Whoa! Congratulations!
MARRON: I thought you were gonna be working backstage with me, though.
ETTE: Remember how Aoki quit?
ETTE: I only got the position today!~
MARRON: ...Typical.
MARRON: I know you’ll do great, though!
ETTE: Yay! Thanks, sis!
ETTE: I’ll do my best!

ETTE: I was actually gonna go and practice with Omorika for the presentation today!
ETTE: You should watch it when it’s ready!
MARRON: I was actually assigned to go and help with that.
MARRON: Backstage crew and all, y’know?
ETTE: Oh! Right, right!
ETTE: Good luck!
MARRON: You too!

The two part ways for now, doing their individual tasks. Backstage with Omorika, Ette goes over many a line. Though she certainly has the personality for presentation, she’s having a hard time remembering everything. Omorika meanwhile, clearly has the opposite problem- she’s too on the formal side, but has already committed every word to memory. Marron meanwhile, readies some props and completes some necessary construction work… like the actual floor of the stage, which someone forgot to install.

---

An hour or so later, the stage is slightly more presentable. There’s a proper wooden platform for the presenters to stand on, there are rudimentary stage lights… and more importantly, a camera! There is however, clearly still lots of work to be done. In fact, there are still people working on it. But the schedule must be held to!

Ette and Omorika hop onto the stage! (Or at least, Ette does.) Ette happily waves to the crowds, swinging both her arms up and down. Omorika is reserved as per usual, quietly following behind Ette. She can’t help but smile in the face of the camera, getting up close and having her face take up most of the frame. With a wave of her hands, Omorika gets the wooden floor beneath Ette to drag her backwards, forcing her into a proper position. Ette flails around in a panic, but soon calms down as Omorika raises her voice.

OMORIKA: Greetings.
OMORIKA: Welcome one, welcome all, to the fifth annual Chaos Awards.
ETTE: O-Oh, right!
ETTE: I’m your host, Ette Needleworker!
ETTE: And this here is my lovely co-host, Stella Omorika!~
OMORIKA: Yes. That is me.

ETTE: We have a lot of shiny awards to give out during today’s show, yo!
ETTE: I hope I win an award! I wanna put it on my shelf.
OMORIKA: Miss Needleworker, speaking of awards while on stage is likely to cause people to vote for you, rigging the system.
OMORIKA: That is against the principles of proper voting.
OMORIKA: ...That being said, I too, would enjoy getting an award.
ETTE: Anyway! Let’s show off our first category of the night!

Ette gestures behind her, to the… blank wooden wall behind her. She turns towards it, confused. She tilts her head to the right ever so slightly. Omo stares blankly at the wall as well.

ETTE: ...Eh?
ETTE: I feel like something’s missing.
OMORIKA: I believe that usually, there is a television to prompt us on awards.
OMORIKA: However, due to the recent apocalypse, the economy is having a minor hiccup.
OMORIKA: Until normal operations resume, we will have to make do with what we have.
OMORIKA: Miss Needleworker.
ETTE: Yeah?
OMORIKA: ...Ah, wait.
OMORIKA: The other Miss Needleworker.
OMORIKA: If you would, please.

Marron runs out from behind a curtain, wheeling in a whiteboard. Seems that she’s already scribbled something on it with black marker. Her penmanship is as one would expect from a seamstress, neat, tidy, and a bit too small to actually read on the camera. She’s also doodled a little explosion graphic around the text in the middle…

MARRON: Y-Yeah…
MARRON: This is actually the best we can do here.

The “Best In” Awards

As Marron catches her breath, Ette and Omorika spin back towards the camera. The librarian clears her throat, before continuing on with her monotone sort of speech.

OMORIKA: As per show tradition, we have a variety of awards to give to those who performed the most admirably in certain categories.
ETTE: Yeah! There’s four of them!
OMORIKA: ...Pardon? Four?
OMORIKA: Miss Ette, there have traditionally been three of these awards per show.
OMORIKA: This was also not what we rehearsed.
ETTE: Yeah, but Chaos told me there was four now!
ETTE: That means there’s four now!

ETTE: So, there are four categories!
ETTE: Best in Murder, for the player who is the best at hurting enemies really badly!
ETTE: Best in Roleplay, for the player who could tug everyone’s heartstrings!
ETTE: Best in Shenanigans, for the player who really messed with everything!
ETTE: And, new to the cast, Best in Utility, for the player who’s capable of being really helpful without strictly killing everything!
OMORIKA: Ah, so this would be an ideal category for fighters like Author, Remiel, and the Reflector?
OMORIKA: Those who don’t strictly deal incredible amounts of damage, but still find their own way to control the field.
ETTE: Yeah! People like me, too!
ETTE: This should change things up nicely!</span>

Ette spins around again, before waving to Marron.

[font=courier new]ETTE: Oh, oh! Everyone, this is my older sister, Marron!
ETTE: Isn’t she the cutest and the… bestest? Yeah!
MARRON: S-Sis, I’m just backstage crew today! T-This is your time to shine!
ETTE: Just because you’re not a leading role doesn’t mean you’re not amazing!
ETTE: Everyone’s important to a show such as this!
ETTE: Especially the guys who are still building the stage right now!

Ette gives a thumbs up to Chloe, who’s flying around in the rafters, doing her best to affix more lights upon the ceiling. She waves back towards Ette, giving her a warm smile. This unfortunately causes her to drop a stagelight, which plummets down into the stage, creating a large hole. Silently smiling, Ette tosses a small rug over the hole, as a blushing Chloe flies off to get a new light.

ETTE: A-Anyway, sis!
ETTE: Next slide!
MARRON: ...Slide?
MARRON: Sis, this is a whiteboard.
MARRON: Just… give me a sec, alright?

In the span of two minutes, Marron grabs an eraser, wipes the board clean, and proceeds to write the category of the next title. As she does this, Chaos wheels onto stage with a wagon. Well, it’s less a wagon, and more blatantly his shop stall with wagon wheels taped to it. They don’t even spin properly, so it’s just being dragged across the floor, cutting marks into the stage. Ragtime music begins to play, as Chaos equips three monocles and a stolen mustache.

CHAOS: [c]ommer[c]ial break!
CHAOS: buy [c]haos brand an[t]i undead weaponry!
CHAOS: the ul[t]imate weapon agains[t] [t]he undead [t]ha[t] [t]o[t]ally roam [t]he apo[c]alyp[t]ic lands[c]ape, be[c]ause wha[t]’s an apo[c]alypse wi[t]hout zombies?
ETTE: Aren’t those just normal guns?
ETTE: Also, I don’t think there are zombies...
CHAOS: no zombies ye[t]
CHAOS: bu[t] when [t]here are zombies i’m gonna make hella profi[t]
CHAOS: anyway [t]ha[t] [c]on[c]ludes [t]his [c]ommer[c]ial break
CHAOS: enjoy show

Chaos “wheels” his cart offstage. However, in the middle of trying to move it out, one of its wheels gets stuck in the hole the falling light fixture made earlier. Despite being perfectly capable of doing something about it, Chaos decides to abandon the shop cart and his wares. The cart blocks roughly 25% of the camera’s frame in its current position, but oh well. Seems that Marron’s finished writing the new category!

The Combat Awards

As a team of workers enter the stage to try and haul off Chaos’s commercial break wagon, Ette does her best to gesture to the whiteboard behind her.

ETTE: These two awards are focused on the realm of… not fighting people, but like, the place the fighters fought a fight?
ETTE: U-Um...
OMORIKA: Put simply, these are not about the Spherebreakers subduing foes.
OMORIKA: These are about the various combats the Spherebreakers have taken part in.
OMORIKA: The Best Battle Award is for the best non-boss encounter the Spherebreakers have faced thus far.
OMORIKA: And, filling in that gap, the Best Boss Award... would certainly not go to Spark.
OMORIKA: He is quite simply, the worst boss I have ever had the “privilege” of working under.
ETTE: Huh? Wouldn’t that category be about like, the toughest enemies the Spherebreakers have faced?
ETTE: We haven’t fought Spark yet!
OMORIKA: Hm? Do you not remember?
OMORIKA: I said this very same joke about Spark during rehearsal.
OMORIKA: Of course this category is about “boss battles”.
ETTE: O-Oh! My bad!
ETTE: I-It was… funny! Yeah!

Omorika suddenly finds herself deep in her thoughts.

OMORIKA: So, we’ve dealt with the likes of Creation, The First Sin, and…
OMORIKA: Have there really been only two boss fights between now and the last show?
OMORIKA: Goodness.
ETTE: Well, these updates do take a long time to produce, and we’re still fightin’ Acacia just now…
ETTE: Is Acacia legal to vote for?
OMORIKA: Legally speaking, she is a boss.
OMORIKA: And, we are yet to begin the nominations stage.
OMORIKA: Her battle still has time to develop before the voting stage.

All of a sudden, a spire launches across the stage. It impales Chaos’s shop cart, sending it flying off into the horizon, along with a few members of the crew who were still trying to move it. Acacia hops onto the stage, and glares menacingly into the camera.

ACACIA: If you don’t nominate me, I’m coming for you.
ACACIA: Not the person next to you, or anyone else watching this broadcast… but you specifically.
ACACIA: And let’s not even begin on what I’ll do to you if you don’t vote for-

Ette picks up Acacia from behind with a bear hug, and carries her off stage. The chairwitch flails, kicking at Ette’s shins as she dangles from her grip.

ACACIA: H-HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
ETTE: Sorry! You’re blockin’ the camera!
ETTE: I need that to do... stuff!
ETTE: You can have it later!
ACACIA: W-What’s the point of taking it if-

With a bit of a heave, Ette throws Acacia off the stage. Or she would’ve, had she not accidentally dropped Acacia into the hole that Chaos’s cart got stuck in earlier.

ETTE: A-Ah! Sorry!
ETTE: Are you okay down there?
ACACIA: I WILL RIP OFF YOUR ARMS-
ETTE: She’s okay!~

Absolutely done with the “hole in the floor” gag, Omorika seals it up with her woodmancy. Hammering can be heard from beneath the floor as Acacia smashes the morphed-in boards with her fist, to no avail.

ETTE: Movin’ on!
ETTE: Sis! Next slide!
MARRON: Way ahead of ya.
MARRON: It’s already done, so just… do it!
ETTE: Hurray!~
ETTE: Thanks!

While Chaos would have a commercial break, he is busy chasing down his shop cart. So sad. So instead, a message written on a blackboard swings by the screen for roughly five total frames, talking about “zombie repellant”.

The Text Awards

ETTE: Now, we have the Text Awards!
OMORIKA: Ah. My area of expertise.
OMORIKA: While there are millions of books on Sussui, only one can truly be called “the best”. From the epics of history to the stories of now, these stories…

OMORIKA: Hold on. Deviating from the script.
OMORIKA: Has… has anyone on this planet taken their time to read any Chairian literature?
OMORIKA: How is this even a valid category?
ETTE: No idea! I think Auth has, though!
ETTE: Sis calls him a “nerd”, so if anyone has, it’s him!
ETTE: It’s… also not about books!
ETTE: It’s about…
ETTE: S-Something else!

Ette pulls some note cards out of her pocket. She flips through them, trying to remember exactly what awards she’s announcing.

ETTE: ...Anyway!
ETTE: T-There’s like, the Best Story Text and Best Flavor Moment award!
OMORIKA: Ette, darling. You’re tripping over your words.
OMORIKA: If I remember correctly, it is the Best Story Moment Award and the Best Flavor Text Award.
OMORIKA: You can tell that I pronounced them correctly, as they are in a blackened font.
ETTE: O-Oh! Thanks for the save!

ETTE: Anyway, the Best Story Moment award is for the best moment in the story!
ETTE: Whether it’s something dramatic, exciting, terrifying, or incredibly gay, there’s plenty that has happened on this journey, right?
ETTE: On the other hand, the Best Flavor Text award is for those small lil’ pieces of text that come with every item and spell!
ETTE: There’s bound to be something funny there, right?
OMORIKA: Or perhaps, something poetic.
OMORIKA: But I believe those watching the show are more likely to go for something funny.
OMORIKA: Truly, we have no appreciation for the arts.

Ette stomps her foot.

ETTE: H-Hey, we can appreciate the arts!
ETTE: Like, look at sis! She’s a great artist!

Omorika turns her head to Marron, who, after having finished preparing the next “slide” for the next category, has taken to drawing lots of stick figures around the edges of the whiteboard. Omorika raises her finger to say something, but remembers Mari telling her about an incident where Marron shot her in the head. She’d… rather not die, thanks.

OMORIKA: ...Ah, yes.
OMORIKA: Truly, she is up there with the likes of Acacia.
OMORIKA: No, perhaps it’d be better to say Acacia is like a child with crayons when comparing-

From beneath the stage, a Siege Spire connects with Omorika. She’s sent flying into the rafters, where Chloe is still working. Fortunately not working on anything fragile this time, she’s available to catch the now unconscious Omorika. Acacia attempts to worm her way out of the stage from the new hole she just created… or at least, until Ette smacks her with her shield, like a child bringing the might of Zeus down upon the whack-a-mole mole. Stars in her eyes, Acacia sinks back into the stage, and collapses somewhere beneath it.

ETTE: Omooooo!
ETTE: A-Are you okay up there? I-I need you!
CHLOE: U-Um, she’s fine! Just needs some rest!
CHLOE: You’ll need to make do without a co-host for now, sorry!
ETTE: U-Um, okay!

...All alone on stage, Ette begins to feel some sort of weight on her. Gently, she begins trembling, as her arms and legs slowly grow heavier.

ETTE: U-Um…
ETTE: A-Anyway, I-I’ll be… p-presenting the next category!
ETTE: Okay? O-Okay!

Chaos is still not present to give out another commercial. There is however, an unattended crate of “zombie survival beans” tucked away on stage. Mmm. Beans.

The Only Award that Matters

Ette pulls out her note cards once again, flipping through them. This next category. With it, was a terrifying curse. Those who invoked the curse of the category would inevitably bring a calamity upon the world. Well technically, it wasn’t this category that destroyed the world last time- that was Protemmitor’s fault- but it sure was capable of causing a lot of uncontrolled chaos.

ETTE: S-So...

Could she do it? Could she handle the sheer weight of this category? What would she do if she messed up? Maybe Omorika would be able to handle it. She wasn’t fazed by anything. But unfortunately, she’s out of commission at the moment. Perhaps she could try something else? But what could she do? Maybe she could just run away. But that’d ruin the show!

ETTE: …

Ette’s stage fright slowly escalates. Suddenly, she feels a tugging on her arm.

MARRON: It’s alright, sis.
MARRON: I’m here. You got this!
ETTE: ...I-If you say so, S-Sis!

Ette takes a few deep breaths, Marron still holding onto her hand. She could do this. She could do this. Even though everything bad happens during this category.

ETTE: T-This last c-category i-is… t-the...

Marron hands her a note card from the very pile she was rifling through earlier.

ETTE: O-Oh!
ETTE: Our last category is the… Best Boy Contest!
MARRON: ...What?
ETTE: ...Huh?

Ette gives the card she’s holding a look, eyes wide with bewilderment. That’s not a mistake. Right there, the last bullet point on the card, is “best boy contest”. She clearly didn’t write that. Marron keeps looking through Ette’s set of note cards, equally confused.

ETTE: A… best boy contest?
ETTE: Is… that even legal?
MARRON: There’s another card that talks about the Best Girl Contest, too…
MARRON: Are we doing both…?
MARRON: T-That sounds incredibly irresponsible!

MARRON: At the very least though, a lot of the people in the Awardoverse are dead already, so there’s not many people who can cause a stampede here, right?
ETTE: I-I… guess you’re right!
ETTE: ...Whew.

Ette gives a deep sigh, her body deflating ever so slightly. Marron rewards her sister with a warm smile, and two firm pats on the back. Just in case, she remains by her side as she closes the show out.

ETTE: Anyway!
ETTE: As per usual, now that the categories have been announced, you may now make your nominations!
ETTE: Click on the link below, and you’ll be able to fill in a nomination form!
MARRON: Yeah! Click on the link below!
MARRON: ...What’s a link?
ETTE: It’s like... that thing you click on to go to another webpage.
ETTE: …
ETTE: D-Don’t ask why I said that out loud!

Ette blushes a bright crimson, Marron giggling to herself.

ETTE: Thanks for watching!
ETTE: Be sure to tune in next time for when we announce the winners of each category!
ETTE: And… thank you so much for three whole years of Project Thymium!
ETTE: It means so much to all of us!
ETTE: Please keep giving us your support!~

And with that, the curtains shut upon the stage. Though there was no real audience, the workers still assembling the stage applaud for the ex-puppet, and for the not-actually-late Miss Omorika. It’s a shame the curtains only closed 50% of the way, but that’s just a bug they’ll need to fix in post production.

The Link Below: https://forms.gle/5r8V99Sn16jYKAco6

---

CHAOS: okay go[t] my [c]ar[t] ba[c]k
CHAOS: how goes [t]he se[c]re[t] proje[c][t] [t]ha[t]’ll ge[t] us [t]he mos[t] viewers ever?
MARI: I’m gonna level with you.
MARI: This is literally the worst idea I’ve ever taken part in.
MARI: I don’t even know why I’m doing this.
CHAOS: be[c]ause in[t]erne[t] [c]lou[t]?
MARI: ...Because internet clout.
MARI: Plus, I’ve always kinda wanted to try surviving one of these, y’know?
MARI: It should be ready by the time we start announcing winners.
CHAOS: good, good

CHAOS: hold on, [c]on[t]ra[c][t]ual obliga[t]ion in[c]oming
CHAOS: ahem
CHAOS: muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa
MARI: why the hell did i agree to this

Meh. P11, Yggdrasil Vessel twice, Encore (Damage to Extinguisher, Pizza to Pionobot, Focus Energy to Irongutta), Mana Leech, Toxin Coating(Poison), attack Extinguisher2, Phial Burst.

Correction
Nidra's Power Nap should've activated.

Shooting Range
Power Nap Sleuth
Move to E10
Channel Magic (Status Clone) from Venia to Chloe.