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All 56 tributes stand ready for the count to hit 0...
And they're off!

Pit looked up to see Wilson staring down scornfully on the brawl. Stuck up little... thinks he's so good and pious... He got up there fast.
Talist washed TwinSplitter's hands. Yeah, sorry for... you know, crashing the program on you last game. That wasn't what would really happen if I did that though.
Zetta uses Tricky as a distraction and nabs a Spoil of War.
Maniac could not, in fact, fly. Tried to fly away from the carnage...
Vriska finds an Ancestral Artifact in the Cornucopia. 1/5 found
The Boss Vortex was ambushed by [c]haos, who was hiding in a corner. They were found later, missing all limbs. ALL THE BOSSES
Piono found a Syringe full of Liquid Memes, perfect for enhancing Entities.
/\stri/\ grabs Liber Dei. Uh oh...
Tricky and Pricy grapple over the Banhammer.
An arrow whistles past Kajiulord's head.
Willow undergoes a Split from the stress.
Pricy casually traded their soul for extra alchemies. Since he didn't get the Banhammer.
Engie has accquired iAntimak Carbine.
Pane realized that they needed more entities to not die later on, and hired some mercenaries.
InsertNameHere blamed the cactus.
Midna stole Oryx's shotgun.
Shattered Bill Cipher realized that they needed more alchemies to not die later on, and duplicated some gear.
Ikea's Entities were slaughtered by IreCreeper without warning. Yeah IreCreeper. CHAIRS FOR EVER! SHOW THOSE STUPID TABLES WHOS BOSS!!
Crystal is erased from existence by the Chibi-Serena Statue.
Red grabbed a heavy Relish Nuke.
Binary grabbed a heavy Relish Nuke. We're going to have fun.
Binary managed to stab themself in the foot for 4 damage!
Zetta had a brilliant Entity idea brought on by the madness of combat!.
Midna, will it blend? What? no?
TIE-Hivemind secured the 25 Elemental Alchemies. What a head start!
Raven finds some Knitting Needles. These will be useful for alchemy!.
OWAKS found a ticket for a free 50 post charge. Nice.
Lothyra somehow gets a hold of the Bane without dying.
Willow grabs the Deudly Magnum and flees.
An arrow whistles past OWAKS's head.
Kajiulord bandaged their wounds. That you didn't have...
Stan the Mime started playing Cookie Clicker... and never stopped for 64 years.
Bender thought the system of a cornucopia was unfairly benefiting players who started facing the open end.
The L[]rd decided to join DTG. Now he's here.
Umbra finds the Alchemiter. Sweet!
Tazz found a Syringe full of Liquid Memes, perfect for enhancing Entities. How realistic. Pity Cogwynd isn't in this simulation.
TwinBuilder and Bleak were shipped so fast Red had to break it up. Twin x Bleak. *shudder* Thanks Red.
Pit found a ticket for a free 50 post charge. Nice.
Talist and Purple grapple over the Banhammer. We have 2 of them, don't worry.
Pane woke up Amp.
Hank finds Purple and fails to do anything.
NinjaV accidentally licked a Spiral Sucker and went Trickster.
NinjaV went insane and bashed their head against a wall 10 times!
TIE-Hivemind was ambushed by [c]haos, who was hiding in a corner. They were found later, missing all limbs. Chaos kill count: 2
TECHPIECE remembered about grammar.
Engie got the keys to the Abomination.
Netpatham got the keys to the Abomination. But who will get the actual vehicle?
Shattered Bill Cipher prays that engie_ninja doesn't just kill them all instantly. Yeah, he's going to run everyone over.
FseftrAI bathed in blood.
An arrow whistles past Ikea's head.
Tricky secured the 25 Elemental Alchemies. What a head start!
/\stri/\ grabs Liber Dei. Uh oh...
Hank's Entities were slaughtered by TwinSplitter without warning.
Bleak managed to hack into the simulation and accidentally removed themselves from the alive ArrayList. I thought I named that ArrayList pretty clearly...
The Alchemiter watched in horror as their entities were slaughtered in the brawl.
The Alchemiter went insane and bashed their head against a wall 30 times!
The Alchemiter's entities were so disgruntled, they dealt 40 damage to him!
Tazz undergoes a Split from the stress.
Amp somehow gets a hold of the Bane without dying.
The L[]rd grabs Liber Dei. Uh oh...
Blue managed to flee the fire!
TwinBuilder became a schrodinger's cat and might have died.
Binary decided to join DTG. Now he's here. He wants to see what all the fuss is about before DESTROYING EVERYTHING
SBaHJ's planned Entity was noped immediately.
Magic Cueball is messily devoured by a killer rabbit.
InsertNameHere found blueprints for a Mech.
Vriska gets in between Chuck Norris and the ACNT. Guess who lost?
FseftrAI's charisma convinced several allies to their aid, quickly.
SBaHJ bathed in blood.
SERPENT lost to a potted plant, but escape was automatic anyway.
11 bathed in blood.
SERPENT dodges an elephant.
Piono gets in between Chuck Norris and the ACNT. Guess who lost?
The Alchemiter died so fast that the Narrative revived them out of pity. Seriously, if the Alchemiter dies early, no one has any alchemies!
The Alchemiter went insane and bashed their head against a wall 10 times!
11 washed Geometry Dash's hands.
Tempo died briefly, but returned with a message from Notch that they promptly forgot.
Eric thought the system of a cornucopia was unfairly benifiting players who started facing the open end.
Tempo managed to find a 'Free Sample' coupon for Armies R' Us. Maybe that was the message.
Eric's initial game plan was a dangerous gamble...But nothing came of it.
Netpatham easily overpowered [c]haos and caused him to rage-quit again! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
IreCreeper secured the 25 Elemental Alchemies. What a head start!
The Brick Wall's initial game plan was a dangerous gamble...But nothing came of it.
The Brick Wall managed to stab themself in the foot for 10 damage!
The Brick Wall went insane and bashed their head against a wall 10 times!
The Brick Wall's entities were so disgruntled, they dealt 10 damage to him!
The Brick Wall's alchemies backfired, dealing 10 damage to him!
TECHPIECE finds some Knitting Needles. These will be useful for alchemy!.
Bender grabs a rocket launcher and jumps away into the forest.
Scratch casually traded their soul for extra alchemies.
The Brick Wall and UOSS grapple over the Banhammer. A wall and a massive spaceship fighting over the THIRD legendary hammer. Nope. Nothing strange here.
UOSS bathed in blood.
Umbra's initial game plan was a dangerous gamble...But nothing came of it.
NinjaV challenges Rage to Super Smash Bros and won!
Scratch finds some Knitting Needles. These will be useful for alchemy!.
Richard managed to find a 'Free Sample' coupon for Armies R' Us.
Lothyra found an interesting journal.
Proof runs off into the distance.
Blue was unmade by the Snarl.
Geometry Dash realized the meaning of life, and suicided to achieve it.
Proof digs a hole and hides!
Wilson scored a caged Killer Rabbit. Wait, did Wilson manage to cage the rabbit that ate the cueball? Nice.

11 wound up Gender-bent, strictly to their detriment. Disk...
Richard made a deadly weapon from the corpses of their dead entities. Because some jerks stole his Banhammer and BOTH of his backups.
MK-Watson-A decided to join The L[]rd's cause.
Kajiulord spends some time using the Alchemiter.
The Brick Wall, Tempo and Talist stay at Wilson's Potion Shop. I like it here.
Raven became a god... then was nerfed down to size by the OP scale.Raven's entities were so disgruntled, they dealt 50 damage to him!
Raven's alchemies backfired, dealing 10 damage to him!

Lothyra says "Hello Meatbags1" to Willow then departs for flubbing the line.
SERPENT devised a weapon, which was a mix between a Medi-Gun and a Spade.
Lothyra dreams of alchemies to come.
Willow was gifted a Spoil of War from an unknown sponsor.
11 and TwinSplitter had a tea party.
Richard dodges the ruins of a Cobalt Shade Corporation Quest.
Umbra resisted Lord Dome's mind control and sent him back to the PC!
SERPENT Eats a car. Yeah, the whole thing, with a fork.
UOSS stays at Wilson's Potion shop. Do you remember that one game where you won and went to Wilson's shop a lot?
InsertNameHere summons an ultra-complex death entity.
FseftrAI listened to awesome music all day. A bit lazy.
/\stri/\ has an out-of-body experience.
Proof doesn't die, to Pit's unsatisfaction.
SBaHJ did something stupid and payed the price.
TECHPIECE played some late-night table stickball with Ikea.
The L[]rd tried to edit the event class of this program to tone down the difficulty of their next fatal event, but didn't realize they were in one now.
Umbra played some late-night table stickball with Netpatham.
The Alchemiter challenges Rage to Super Smash Bros. Rage won. It probably wouldn't be too hard to beat the Alchemiter.
Tempo used dark magic to suck the life out of Proof.
Purple remembered his Maxims and followed the running demolitions expert.
Wilson spent too much time on the memo.
Binary noticed an extremely rare beetle while falling and forgot to hit the ground.
Wilson facepalms over goanna's idiocy. Cutest facepalm evarrrrr!!
Pricy spends some time using the Alchemiter. But its dead.... ew...
Tazz remembered his Maxims and followed the running demolitions expert.
InsertNameHere summoned a trusty steed to travel around faster.
Talist heard a distant howl...
Red is erased from existence by the Chibi-Serena Statue.
Pricy found time to be active in DTG2.
Amp rallied the masses to their aid.
Ikea steals a few of Hank and UOSS's alchemies.
FseftrAI went on a massive alchemiting binge. Bender was watching and saw some codes.
Tricky and Scratch made an alliance. TwinSplitter heard about it and started planning.
Purple gets attacked by a Mechora Worm. The Mechora Worm won.
Midna grew some mutated tentacles. Goes great with that hair whip thing.
Tricky commits suicide over the newest editor. Even though Scratch was on your side...
Raven wanted to trade their soul away for power, but could give nothing but an IOU.
Eric was ready for freddy. This time around...
Binary fends off the animatronics with noisemakers.
OWAKS ate Bill, thinking he was a Dorito.OWAKS went insane and bashed their head against a wall 26 times! Don't worry. Bill lived.

/\stri/\ noticed an extremly rare beatle while falling and forgot to hit the ground.
Midna reads some newly-acquired books from Scratch's Library.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Zetta caught the X-Plauge.
Hank has activated RAGE MODE!. you know what that means...
Pane realized that Talist's code for this simulation is an absolute mess and wisely decided to not try their luck with it.
The Brick Wall found a disabled SWR and hacked it for some backup.
Engie kills an ultra-complex death entity.
Whoa! TwinBuilder faked their own death but is back now! Actually, this is the Twin from a different time line where he didn't die from the radioactive gasses.
OWAKS comes across an abandoned Engietech outpost.
Bender heard a distant howl...
Netpatham went on a massive alchemiting binge. Shattered Bill Cipher was watching and saw some codes.
MK-Watson-A decided to join Shattered Bill Cipher's cause. Wait, Watson? Weren't you with the Lord a moment before? Watson indecision counter: 1
NinjaV awakens to find themselves writing on the walls of a cave with their own blood.NinjaV went insane and bashed their head against a wall 50 times!

Scratch grinded for wither skulls then claimed a nether star! Too bad they're pretty useless...
Eric thought they saw a shooting star, but it was a flare set off by Pane.
Kajiulord made a deadly weapon from the corpses of their dead entities.
Pit Challenges IreCreeper to Super Smash Bros. It's a draw!

/\stri/\ insta summoned a player.
Scratch spends the night confused about 11's side character.
Pane wound up on the wrong end of The Bane.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ikea facepalms over goanna's idiocy.
Netpatham and Eric stays at Wilson's Potion Shop.
Shattered Bill Cipher tries to kill OWAKS with a table, but they escape.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Kajiulord grabbed the Idiot Ball and held on tightly.
Tazz unleashed a caged Killer Rabbit upon NinjaV.NinjaV was so weak, they took 40 damage!
NinjaV went insane and bashed their head against a wall 20 times!
NinjaV's entities were so disgruntled, they dealt 60 damage to him!
And then NinjaV died of it!

Raven and Willow went Trickster, chasing away Proof and Engie.Raven went insane and bashed their head against a wall 10 times!

Talist spent too much time on the memo. I've never seen it...
Eric bugged the GM for an update on the Echeladder.
Richard uselessly attempted to /ban Proof. But wait, you're the server owner. Why is it useless?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= /\stri/\ spends some time using the Alchemiter.
Umbra played some late-night table stickball with Engie.
Pricy has recurring nightmares about OWAKS.
MK-Watson-A decided to join Binary's cause. Watson indecision counter: 2
FseftrAI stepped on a spider.
Bender sits still in a corner and cries.
Tazz runs their own simulation of the Hunger Games.
SERPENT heard a distant howl...
MK-Watson-A decided to join Bender's cause. Watson indecision counter: 3
Netpatham grew paranoid of a second Trickster/Grimdark war.
11 and Talist went on a quest and found a golden egg deep in the woods. Come on disk! AWAY WE GOO!!!
Richard insulted IreCreeper's grammar to try and prop up their self esteem.
Amp finds an Ancestral Artifact.
The Brick Wall, OWAKS, Lothyra, Wilson, and Amp combined to beat back a mech.
Pricy dodges the ruins of a Cobalt Shade Corporation Quest.
Umbra just injured the Godmodder! Well done.
Binary accused TwinBuilder of copying their alchemies, and won the copyright claim.
Midna dodges the ruins of a Cobalt Shade Corporation Quest.
SERPENT was too weak-minded to survive the Twitch Hivemind's ramblings!.
TwinBuilder badgers Twin incessantly about a topic.
Hank tried to hack into the simulation to boost their stats. But it caused a syntax error and killed them. BUT WITH RAGE!!!! Never code when angry kids.
FseftrAI accidentally downed a potion of assisted suicide.FseftrAI was so weak, they took 110 damage!
And then FseftrAI died of it!

Willow, git rkt m8. NERRRRR
Kajiulord reads some newly-acquired books from Scratch's Library.
Lothyra finds an Ancestral Artifact.
The Ship between Scratch and Raven was sunk by IreCreeper. Raven went insane and bashed their head against a wall 10 times! SCANNING FOR POSSIBLE SHIP...

InsertNameHere says "Hello Meatbags1" to Midna then departs for flubbing the line.
Wilson caught the X-Plauge. Comeon, cure yourself.
InsertNameHere sits still in a corner and cries.
The Brick Wall has recurring nightmares about OWAKS.
Tempo has died of dysentery.
Ikea praises the Helix Fossil!.
Shattered Bill Cipher summoned a trusty steed to travel around faster.
TwinSplitter ran away from a Mechora Worm.

IreCreeper tried to argue with the OP scale. Guess who won?.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= /\stri/\ stepped off the sidewalk like a normal person.
Bender remembered to check the Pirate Cove.
Pricy noticed an extremly rare beatle while falling and forgot to hit the ground.Pricy went insane and bashed their head against a wall 10 times!

Welcome to the Strength test, Engie... And you passed. You survived your own event!
Proof steals a few of Tazz and /\stri/\'s alchemies.
Shattered Bill Cipher praised Dome.
TwinBuilder is convinced that the moon does not exist by Binary.TwinBuilder went insane and bashed their head against a wall 20 times! So first Binary hits you with a copyright claim, then convinces you the moon doesn't exist? Jerk.

Binary realized the meaning of life, and suicided to acheive it. Well, he was just so sorry for being a jerk...
Tazz took some time off from hunting to train.
InsertNameHere comes across a temple of bones but decides to not investigate.
Amp fails to sleep, and instead plays video games all night.
11 managed to hack into the simulation and accidentally removed themselves from the alive ArrayList.
Talist and OWAKS made a short alliance, and exchanged supplies.
InsertNameHere and Ikea sure do look cute sleeping together. You know what that meaaannnnsss....
Midna killed a Crocodile, which he mistook for a Gaping Dragon!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ikea took some time off from hunting to train.
Proof: "KEEP AWAY!" They have been slain.
Midna, Engie, Richard, and Kajiulord sat around a campfire and told ghost stories.
Scratch is accosted by Clippy all night.
Shattered Bill Cipher became a god... then was nerfed down to size by the OP scale.
Netpatham looked up the necronomicon.Netpatham went insane and bashed their head against a wall 106 times!
And then Netpatham died of it! Netpatham just couldn't deal with the guilt of having murdered an innocent brick wall.

TwinBuilder grew paranoid of a second Trickster/Grimdark war.TwinBuilder went insane and bashed their head against a wall 10 times! Yeah, the first one was hard enough to deal with.

Wilson took a chair to the face, but lived!
Umbra wonders if the Moon is actually a two-dimensional disc used for surveillance.
Umbra has an out-of-body experience.
TwinSplitter gets attacked by a Mechora Worm. They won.
Talist's newest entity was Nerfed. Asharon! Actually, Alexiron was nerfed slightly.
Amp managed to flee the fire!
Pricy wound up Gender-bent, but they were bent back to their original Gender.
TwinSplitter's mind imploded trying to understand the massive character web.
Wilson just injured the Godmodder! Well done.
Scratch looted a corpse.
Whoa! Piono faked their own death but is back now!
OWAKS could not, in fact, fly.
Kajiulord got run over by a car.
Lothyra Ascended to God-Tiers with HomestuckCraft, to Talist's displeasure.

InsertNameHere grew some mutated tentacles. I'm sure Ikea will love that.
Pherix decided to join Umbra's cause. At least Watson is still with Bender.
Scratch changed allegiances. So... you're no longer with the employer?
Amp spent too much time on the memo.
Talist Was unable to post three times. Drat. I usually don't.
Surprise surprise, Talist has a weakness to being petted. InsertNameHere takes advantage of it. STAY AWAY FROMMEEEEE
Wilson, Tazz and Lothyra stay at Wilson's Potion Shop. For once, the owner is here.
Tazz looked up the necronomicon. Tazz went insane and bashed their head against a wall 152 times!
And then Tazz died of it! Does that mean the necronomicon is in Wilson's shop?

Pricy took a chair to the face, but lived!
Umbra became a god... then was nerfed down to size by the OP scale.
Engie fought off residual bits of the Glitch.
Bender wonders if the Moon is actually a two-dimensional disc used for surveillance. Watson, you know this right?
Ikea ate all of their supplies out of desperation.
TwinBuilder changed allegiances. He's no longer on our side...
Shattered Bill Cipher changed allegiances.
Piono accused Lothyra of copying their alchemies, and won the copyright claim.
Piono failed to notice a dart trap, then failed to dodge.
Pricy became irritated at the fact that their color is missing.
Ikea was ambushed by things that go bump in the night. Insert will be broken.
Amp listened to awesome music all day. A bit lazy.
Scratch got a Comb Rave and entered Sepulchritude. +100 STRENGTH!!! i think...
Bender picked some flowers and made a garland out of them.
Richard fends off the animatronics with noisemakers.
Shattered Bill Cipher commits suicide over the newest editor.
TwinBuilder stays at Wilson's Potion shop. Sorry, he just left.
Having lost some sanity, Midna hallucinates living tables and chairs.
Midna tries to steal the Update Terminal, but fails.
Wilson praises the Helix Fossil!.
/\stri/\ managed to insta-summon a Player without conseuqence.

Whoa! Magic Cueball faked their own death but is back now! It wasn't REALLY eaten by a killer rabbit.
Lothyra, Umbra, and Engie encounter a Mech and manage to destroy it.
Engie remembered to check the Pirate Cove.
Umbra bought something from Wilson. Advertisement here!.
Talist saw a noob's antics and lost it, calling the PPC on them.
Amp didn't defend the elevator cable and fell all the way to the bottom...
InsertNameHere was crushed by a Mech before they could hack it. And there goes the other half of the ship.
Talist comforts Lothyra as they sleep. D'aww. Er... Well, I can't be hypocritical, so... shipped?
Bender challenges Rage to Super Smash Bros. Rage won. But... Watson was cheering for you all the way...
Midna, TwinBuilder, and Scratch encounter a Mech and manage to destroy it.
TwinBuilder listened to awesome music all day. A bit lazy.
Wilson comes across an abandoned Engietech outpost.
Magic Cueball steals a few of Richard and Midna's alchemies. How mean. Richard already had his three Banhammers taken.
Pricy watches the stars move across the sky.
Scratch devised a weapon, which was a mix between a Medi-Gun and a Spade.
Wilson got run over by a car. Engie probably parked the Abomination in that abandoned outpost. Roadkilled...
Pricy found time to be active in DTG2.
/\stri/\ got nope'd by the curse of repetition./\stri/\'s entities were so disgruntled, they dealt 160 damage to him!
And then /\stri/\ died of it!

Midna ripped off their hand to appease a monster. AKA: got a haircut.
Magic Cueball: "KEEP AWAY!" They have been slain.
LeiShi decided to join Scratch's cause.
Engie comforts Scratch as they sleep. D'aww. SHIPPED. Must be awkward for LeiShi... just sitting there in the corner...
Umbra chose the right time to RP.
Talist stole the captcha codes for the entire list of Spoils. These will make great gifts...
Pherix decided to join TwinBuilder's cause. wait... didn't Pherix already join someone? Yeah... sorry Umbra. All my guys are so indecisive.
Richard realized that Talist's code for this simulation is an absolute mess and wisely decided to not try their luck with it.
Talist gets stuffed into a Chica Suit. All my spoils of war... I'm so sorry I've left you Lothyra!
Midna finds out she has a Split.
Lothyra managed to flee the fire! And her memories of me...

Richard, Engie, Umbra, Pricy, Midna and TwinBuilder do a flash mob. Despite it almost driving Richard to insanity when it actually happened.
Richard chose the right time to RP.
Scratch stupidly called Bill Cipher a Dorito. Well, that ship didn't last long. LeiShi, go tell Engie the bad news please.
Lothyra managed to tear themself away from Cookie Clicker. I'm sorry, but Cookie Clicker will not help bring me back.

Engie powered through exams. Amazing how you managed to study despite all the grief.
Richard gave their entity lots of background and then made a loophole to keep it alive IC.
Lothyra runs their own simulation of the Hunger Games. I died there too, huh?
Richard fought off residual bits of the Glitch.
Lothyra matrix-dodges an arrow from TwinBuilder, then retreats!.
Umbra bandaged their wounds.
Pricy has activated RAGE MODE!. Here we go... you really are angry.
Umbra tries to steal the Update Terminal, but fails.

Midna was killed by an extremely hostile spycrab.
Umbra works on their backstory.Umbra managed to stab themself in the foot for 6 damage!

Richard encounters an Extremely Lethal Puppy, but isn't fooled.
Richard summons an ultra-complex death entity.
Umbra insta summoned a player.
Pricy's newest entity was Nerfed. BUT WITH RAGE
With the help of TwinBuilder, Lothyra hacked into the simulation and boosted all their stats by 10.
TwinBuilder made some dragon pie to keep off starvation.
Pricy tried to brave Yggdrasil's roots, but to no avail. BUT WITH RAGE
Engie ate Bill, thinking he was a Dorito.

Engie Managed to survive a Multi-Man Melee thanks to his allies. LIKE LEISHI!!!!!!!!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Bonus ducks for Umbra!... Oops, they had a heart attack.
Pricy SOMEHOW stopped the moon Majora style! Kudos! BUT WITH RAGE!
Lothyra made some dragon pie to keep off starvation.
Red sun over paradise... Lothyra will not forget it. Almost as gorgeous as my face, right?
TwinBuilder murdered Hank. Again. Just to make sure.
Richard ate some pink berries, and started tripping.

Richard saved TwinBuilder and Pricy from Lothyra. Wait, why would Richard save Twin? Possible ship? huh? huh?

Lothyra used dark magic to suck the life out of Richard.
Richard rallied the masses to their aid. "Citizens of Godcraft..." Despite having the life sucked out of him, he turns right around and makes speeches. Good ol' Richard.
TwinBuilder checked the cameras and closed the door in time.
TwinBuilder ran into some Nexus mooks and completely mower over them.
Pricy Ascended to God-Tiers with HomestuckCraft, to Talist's displeasure. BUT WITH RAGE!!

Richard was Waluigi'd. WAA. And the mass's leader has fallen
Lothyra, will it blend? What? no?
Lothyra hit Ctrl-V, but only had a little in their clipboard.
Pricy was ambushed by [c]haos, who was hiding in a corner. They were found later, missing all limbs. Chaos kill count: 3. The rager killed by the ragequitter.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=DUEL=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

TwinBuilder is the winner with these stats...
75.0 strength, 77.0 dexterity, 45.0 inteligence. 75.0 entities, 60.0 alchemies.

Epilog:
The Tal-co winner's ship arrives to pick up Twin with haste. I'll not make that mistake again. Even if you did murder my love... Anyway... as the plane is flying along over some random ocean, all Twin can think about is Richard. Because, lets be honest, these epilogs just aren't as good if there isn't a broken ship involved somewhere. He is engrossed in his thoughts, he doesn't realize a small blip has appeared on the automatic piloting system's radar. Something is approaching, and fast. A purple missile, probably launched by Earth in revenge for Binary, screams through the air and crashes into the Tal-Co ship's engines. Red lights start to blare throughout the cabin and an automated voice comes through the intercom. "In case of an emergency, your seat cushions can be used as a floatation device. Please leave all KZRK- sonal belongings behind as you make your way calmly to the cl- ZRR- t marked exit." The ship lurched violently and started to plummet into the sea, all the while the automated system insisting that everything is fine and all passengers should remain calm. When it finally splashed down and exploded into a massive burst of sparks and flames, it became evident that this was not the case. After that though, the ship just floated there in the middle of the ocean due to being made out of Kerbal Metal. It was broken into about 5 distinct pieces, but overall, not actually that bad. Twin stumbled, dazed but unhurt thanks to amazing Tal-Co safety technology (trademarked), out of the cabin onto the right wing. Out there, was... no... it can't be... it was Richard! He tosses Twin all three of his Banhammers and then jumps into the ocean and says dramatically, "Listen Rose Twin, there isn't enough room for both of us on this very large downed aircraft. So, I'll take the hit. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine in this 6 degree water filled with dangerous sea creatures and unreliable weather with no land for miles in any direction and without any kind of supplies. I saved you once, and I won't hesitate to do it again." And without explaining himself farther, Jack Richard swims off into the distance. Well... bye. The airship is like... 30 meters long by 10 meters wide and there's plenty of spare provisions... and a working motor... and GPS... and fishing rods... and oars for some reason... and duct tape... lots of duct tape... and Parcheesi... and fresh water... and respirators... and a radio... and a 40 inch plasma TV... and lots of episodes of Tom and Jerry... and life rafts... and electric generators... and spare batteries... and an EE2 transmutation table... and a filled omega Kelvin Star... and free wifi... and another ship is going to come along soon... Well, sometimes that's just how these movies epilogs work out. huh... But clearly, that's not enough for two people to survive with. That Richard really is a prince, isn't he?


The fallen, in order with stats
56: Maniac 20.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 35.0 intelligence, 30.0 entities, 30.0 alchemies.
55: The Boss Vortex 0.0 strength, 0.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 150.0 entities, 0.0 alchemies.
54: Crystal 50.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 20.0 intelligence, 10.0 entities, 35.0 alchemies.
53: Stan the Mime 30.0 strength, 60.0 dexterity, 25.0 intelligence, 30.0 entities, 5.0 alchemies.
52: TIE-Hivemind 15.0 strength, 15.0 dexterity, 50.0 intelligence, 50.0 entities, 40.0 alchemies.
51: Bleak 80.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 15.0 intelligence, 5.0 entities, 5.0 alchemies.
50: Vriska 20.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 35.0 intelligence, 20.0 entities, 70.0 alchemies.
49: Blue 30.0 strength, 40.0 dexterity, 35.0 intelligence, 20.0 entities, 25.0 alchemies.
48: Geometry Dash 10.0 strength, 150.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 0.0 entities, 0.0 alchemies.
47: SBaHJ 35.0 strength, 45.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 35.0 entities, 20.0 alchemies.
46: The L[]rd 50.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 30.0 intelligence, 45.0 entities, 45.0 alchemies.
45: The Alchemiter 5.0 strength, 5.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 0.0 entities, 145.0 alchemies.
44: Red 25.0 strength, 8.0 dexterity, 35.0 intelligence, 20.0 entities, 65.0 alchemies.
43: Purple 20.0 strength, 30.0 dexterity, 65.0 intelligence, 15.0 entities, 15.0 alchemies.
42: Tricky 40.0 strength, 50.0 dexterity, 10.0 intelligence, 25.0 entities, 85.0 alchemies.
41: TECHPIECE 20.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 40.0 intelligence, 35.0 entities, 40.0 alchemies.
40: Pane 20.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 50.0 intelligence, 45.0 entities, 30.0 alchemies.
39: UOSS 55.0 strength, 10.0 dexterity, 25.0 intelligence, 50.0 entities, 15.0 alchemies.
38: Zetta 0.0 strength, 15.0 dexterity, 35.0 intelligence, 50.0 entities, 50.0 alchemies.
37: Pit 40.0 strength, 42.0 dexterity, 15.0 intelligence, 50.0 entities, 25.0 alchemies.
36: NinjaV 0.0 strength, 15.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 0.0 entities, 50.0 alchemies.
35: Eric 32.0 strength, 20.0 dexterity, 34.0 intelligence, 10.0 entities, 22.0 alchemies.
34: SERPENT 40.0 strength, 33.0 dexterity, 35.0 intelligence, 13.0 entities, 35.0 alchemies.
33: Hank 55.0 strength, 55.0 dexterity, 20.0 intelligence, 0.0 entities, 20.0 alchemies.
32: FseftrAI 0.0 strength, 10.0 dexterity, 70.0 intelligence, 30.0 entities, 60.0 alchemies.
31: Willow 30.0 strength, 25.0 dexterity, 11.0 intelligence, 15.0 entities, 85.0 alchemies.
30: Tempo 30.0 strength, 30.0 dexterity, 29.0 intelligence, 45.0 entities, 65.0 alchemies.
29: IreCreeper 25.0 strength, 37.0 dexterity, 30.0 intelligence, 50.0 entities, 35.0 alchemies.
28: Raven 25.0 strength, 5.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 0.0 entities, 0.0 alchemies.
27: Binary 50.0 strength, 30.0 dexterity, 19.0 intelligence, 25.0 entities, 90.0 alchemies.
26: 11 25.0 strength, 28.0 dexterity, 40.0 intelligence, 10.0 entities, 50.0 alchemies.
25: The Brick Wall 150.0 strength, 0.0 dexterity, 14.0 intelligence, 5.0 entities, 60.0 alchemies.
24: Proof 3.0 strength, 8.0 dexterity, 28.0 intelligence, 61.0 entities, 51.0 alchemies.
23: Netpatham 30.0 strength, 50.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 33.0 entities, 77.0 alchemies.
22: TwinSplitter 97.0 strength, 60.0 dexterity, 40.0 intelligence, 25.0 entities, 45.0 alchemies.
21: OWAKS 42.0 strength, 52.0 dexterity, 12.0 intelligence, 64.0 entities, 37.0 alchemies.
20: Kajiulord 49.0 strength, 21.0 dexterity, 67.0 intelligence, 7.0 entities, 35.0 alchemies.
19: Tazz 30.0 strength, 35.0 dexterity, 0.0 intelligence, 10.0 entities, 45.0 alchemies.
18: Piono 20.0 strength, 15.0 dexterity, 25.0 intelligence, 40.0 entities, 65.0 alchemies.
17: Ikea 60.0 strength, 20.0 dexterity, 32.0 intelligence, 27.0 entities, 22.0 alchemies.
16: Shattered Bill Cipher 28.0 strength, 18.0 dexterity, 17.0 intelligence, 14.0 entities, 37.0 alchemies.
15: Amp 40.0 strength, 25.0 dexterity, 25.0 intelligence, 25.0 entities, 75.0 alchemies.
14: InsertNameHere 31.0 strength, 49.0 dexterity, 22.0 intelligence, 73.0 entities, 45.0 alchemies.
13: Bender 66.0 strength, 18.0 dexterity, 39.0 intelligence, 31.0 entities, 58.0 alchemies.
12: Wilson 25.0 strength, 15.0 dexterity, 19.0 intelligence, 55.0 entities, 45.0 alchemies.
11: /\stri/\ 25.0 strength, 65.0 dexterity, 45.0 intelligence, 0.0 entities, 95.0 alchemies.
10: Magic Cueball 0.0 strength, 0.0 dexterity, 150.0 intelligence, 0.0 entities, 10.0 alchemies.
9: Talist 28.0 strength, 13.0 dexterity, 39.0 intelligence, 60.0 entities, 165.0 alchemies. BOOYA! MORE ALCHEMIES THAN THE ALCHEMITER!
8: Scratch 116.0 strength, 20.0 dexterity, 52.0 intelligence, 52.0 entities, 72.0 alchemies.
7: Midna 27.0 strength, 52.0 dexterity, 21.0 intelligence, 62.0 entities, 42.0 alchemies.
6: Engie 97.0 strength, 57.0 dexterity, 20.0 intelligence, 40.0 entities, 70.0 alchemies.
5: Umbra 12.0 strength, 0.0 dexterity, 43.0 intelligence, 23.0 entities, 33.0 alchemies.
4: Richard 68.0 strength, 13.0 dexterity, 25.0 intelligence, 87.0 entities, 69.0 alchemies.
3: Pricy 85.0 strength, 77.0 dexterity, 10.0 intelligence, 34.0 entities, 54.0 alchemies.
2: Lothyra 65.0 strength, 65.0 dexterity, 80.0 intelligence, 40.0 entities, 85.0 alchemies.

An army of monsters has attacked


HP = Castle health, once it reaches 0 HP it's game over


MOR = Morale, once it reaches 20, people start fighting


STR = Strength, the amount of damage you do on attacks


MAG = Magic, get it to 100 to unleash a devastating attack


Horde, health starts at1000, and if you successfully deplete it's health you win


Preparation Round




[Twin] looked at the advancing army.(MOR-5)


[Proof] practiced their swordplay.(STR+5)


[Proof] caused a rock to fall off the castle, hitting the Horde(HP-2)(Horde-5)


[Twin] put up a barricade.(HP+5)


[Talist] taunted the approaching army.(MOR+5)


[Proof] made some armor.(HP+2)


[Talist] looked at the advancing army.(MOR-5)


[Twin] made a bad tactical decision.(STR-4). Good Job [Twin])(MOR-3)


[IRE] really doesn't know what their doing.(MOR-2).


[Serpent] took an arrow to the knee.(HP-5)


Castle HP: 100


Castle Morale: 40


Castle Strength: 51


Castle Magic: 10


Horde Health: 995

Defense Round


The Horde, despite[Talist]'s efforts, destroyed the statue. (MOR-5)


[Engie] Attacked the Horde, and caused 51 damage


[Twin] focuses. (MG+5)


[Twin] made good tactical decisions.(STR+4)(MOR+2)


[Twin] put up a barricade.(HP+5)


[Serpent] taunted the approaching army.(MOR+5)


The Horde, despite[Proof]'s efforts, destroyed the statue. (MOR-5)


[Proof] Was the only one actually fighting (HP-4)


[Engie] Attacked the Horde, and caused 55 damage


[Engie] Made a reference nobody got. (MOR-2)


[Twin] focuses. (MG+5)


[IRE] Made a reference nobody got. (MOR-2)


[Twin] Attacked the Horde, and caused 55 damage


[IRE] taunted the approaching army.(MOR+5)


[Twin] made good tactical decisions.(STR+4)(MOR+2)


[Serpent] really doesn't know what their doing.(MOR-2).


[IRE] forgot their sword.(STR-2)


[Twin] Attacked the Horde, and caused 57 damage


[Serpent] Attacked the Horde, and caused 57 damage


[Talist] put a barrier in the castle. (HP+5)(MG+1)


[Serpent] practiced their swordplay.(STR+5)


[Twin] took an arrow to the knee.(HP-5)


[Engie] made good tactical decisions.(STR+4)(MOR+2)


[Twin] used a spell to try and strengthen the castle. (MAG - 5)(STR+5)(HP+5)(MOR+5)


[Serpent] took an arrow to the knee.(HP-5)


[IRE] Failed to take out the battering ram (HP-7)


[Twin] Attacked the Horde, and caused 71 damage


[Proof] looked at the advancing army.(MOR-5)


[Talist] Attacked the Horde, and caused 71 damage


[IRE] made good tactical decisions.(STR+4)(MOR+2)


[IRE] Made a reference everybody understood. (MOR+2)


[Serpent] Attacked the Horde, and caused 75 damage


[Serpent] focuses. (MG+5)


[IRE] caused a rock to fall off the castle, hitting the Horde(HP-2)(Horde-5)


[Proof] Attacked the Horde, and caused 75 damage


The Horde has a cave troll (HP-10)(STR-5)


[Engie] looked at the advancing army.(MOR-5)


The Horde Demolished the gate (HP-12)


[Proof] Attacked the Horde, and caused 70 damage


[Talist] put a barrier in the castle. (HP+5)(MG+1)


[Talist] really doesn't know what their doing.(MOR-2).


[Serpent] used a spell to try and strengthen the castle. (MAG - 5)(STR+5)(HP+5)(MOR+5)


[Serpent] forgot their sword.(STR-2)


[Twin] Attacked the Horde, and caused 73 damage


[Twin] Attacked the Horde, and caused 73 damage


[Engie] looked at the advancing army.(MOR-5)


[Serpent] really doesn't know what their doing.(MOR-2).


[IRE] gave themselves a rallying speech.(MOR+4)


[Serpent] really doesn't know what their doing.(MOR-2).


[Proof] Attacked the Horde, and caused 73 damage


[Talist] Attacked the Horde, and caused 73 damage


[Proof] focuses. (MG+5)


[IRE] practiced their swordplay.(STR+5)


[IRE] Was the only one actually fighting (HP-4)


[Twin] put a barrier in the castle. (HP+5)(MG+1)


[Serpent] gave themselves a rallying speech.(MOR+4)


[Proof] put up a barricade.(HP+5)


[Engie] put up a barricade.(HP+5)


[IRE] looked at the advancing army.(MOR-5)


[Proof] Attacked the Horde, and caused 78 damage


You have successfully defended the castle, congratulations


Castle HP: 80


Castle Morale: 26


Castle Strength: 78


Castle Magic: 23


Horde Health: -17

TheLordErelye, The_Nonexistent_Tazz, The_Serpent, Neppatham

(I actually constructed the whole thing in 4 hours, during school freetime. There was no planning phase; everything was improv'd, and I had no former experience with the "inklewriter" program. I think it turned out pretty well.)

You have to start up the machine to put Chaos into stasis, grab both of the things, stun him with your Anti-Glitch Rifle, shoot the console, escape with the Crystal.