Minecraft Forums

23/30.

The Space Kraken gets annoyed by all the ruckus going on Earth(or whatever planet we're in), and finds that the source of the ruckus is the Godmodder. It then sits on top of the Godmodder, and BAM. Godmodder pancakes for breakfast. Or dinner...or whatever time it is.

I decide to take a step towards the godmodder on the battlefield.

In order to take the step, I use the ground on the battlefield, carefully analyzing it to make sure there are no traps or obstructions of any kind in the way. In order to get the energy necessary for the analyzation and the step itself, I ate a large dinner earlier, and the energy to make and eat that dinner was fueled by that of previous dinners, going back to my time as a baby in the womb, in which how I got my sustenance should be obvious. In order to get the food to make all of those dinners, it was created by various farmers and other animals, each who survived by also eating dinners, created by more farmers and killed animals, going back in an infinite chain until we reach the initial humans immediately after the world was created. Nobody knows how the world was created, but I'm fairly certain that we can all agree that it was, in fact, created. The energy for thinking of the idea to make the step was fueled by the dinner chain that was just discussed, and a desire to harm the godmodder, which typically necessitates getting fairly close to him first. The desire to harm the godmodder was generated by a personal dislike of him, which was created when he attempted to completely ruin minecraft multiplayer. The reason this would strike me as a reason for dislike is because I enjoy minecraft. The reason I enjoy minecraft is because playing releases unknown sciency brain chemicals that generate the emotion of "fun". The way minecraft was created and is existing is because of a team of developers(or, at the beginning, developer), whose upbrining and dinner fueling(again using the chain we just discussed) resulted in them being able to work on minecraft so that we could enjoy it.

And with that, I successfully take the step.

I summon fifty death stars to destroy the Godmodder's entire army/fleet.

I hold off research being done into the Robot Factory to repair the Underground Barracks Templar.

My troops also fire at the TIE Hivemind, and the Archpaladins use Holy Explosion.

Robot Factory 8/10

Underground Barracks Templar: (AG) HP: 10000/10000

The god odder hates cheese? Not wanting to correct that sorry. Fine. I secretly inject a very deadly poison into the cheese and launch a cheese cannon at the godmodder.It's a tasteless poison. Forgot to add that

Novice Godmodder 12/15
Macchi C.205 5/8

I strike the Uber Fighters with my Vile Blade, and Neo-Rage Blast the Templars!

The Imperial Fleet sends out Carrack-class light cruisers. They may be relatively small, but they have high speed and firepower.

I begin summoning Conroy Cat from the webcomic to use cartoon humor and a heaping helping of self-hurting chi attacks. (Well, only the big and flashy ones.)


Conroy the Cat: 1/15

3/5

2/5

UBER ELITE ULTRA FIGHTERS
HP:300
Attack:
UBER CANNONS: 500 damage
Buff:
Leadership:All UBER type entities get a 20% attack boost!

UBER Bombers
HP:500
Attack:
Bombs away!: 600 damage
Buff:
Shiny armor: Immune to all lazer based attacks
Heavy: 20% Less chance to doge attack

UBER Stealth Fighters
HP: 500
Attack:
Proton Missiles:400 damage
EMP Bomb:30% chance to disable electrical devices on the entity, chances increases the more USF are using this attack, up to 70%
Buff:
Combat Mode: 25% more damage dealt and 10% chance to pierce armor/shields

Zomcannon
Hp:5000
deals 4000 damage
-has a cooldown time of 1 turn if used
-must be used manualy

I make a bunch a UBER fighters.

I sprout six pairs of wings, because WINGS. They look like butterfly wings. I then use Razorwind to knock out 999999999 of the infinite turtles that are holding earth up in space. On its way down, Earth somehow manages to launch a barrage of missiles containing the deadliest mushrooms at the TIE Hivemind.

Novice Godmodder: 13/15
Macchi C.205: 6/8

I Neo-Rage Cannon an AG!

Titans inbound.
[22/25]

4/5

3/5

UBER ELITE ULTRA FIGHTERS
HP:300
Attack:
UBER CANNONS: 500 damage
Buff:
Leadership:All UBER type entities get a 20% attack boost!

UBER Bombers
HP:500
Attack:
Bombs away!: 600 damage
Buff:
Shiny armor: Immune to all lazer based attacks
Heavy: 20% Less chance to doge attack

UBER Stealth Fighters
HP: 500
Attack:
Proton Missiles:400 damage
EMP Bomb:30% chance to disable electrical devices on the entity, chances increases the more USF are using this attack, up to 70%
Buff:
Combat Mode: 25% more damage dealt and 10% chance to pierce armor/shields

Zomcannon
Hp:5000
deals 4000 damage
-has a cooldown time of 1 turn if used
-must be used manualy

I summon more UBER stealth fighters.

I decide to re-do my sleep attack on the godmodder, but I realize the curse of repetitiveness might stop me. So I use a time machine to give my old self psychic abilities to put the godmodder to sleep, caring not for stable time loops. That should work, unless the curse of repetitiveness goes across temporal realities...?

Also, if my last action failed because I didn't explain enough, I'll do it again, this time going down to the quantum level. Would you like to know the atomic structure of a piece of bread?

Titans inbound.
[23/25]

Calls in the UNSC Infinity.

[1/10]

Titans have landed! Approaching battlefield!
[24/25]

UNSC Infinity preparing to leave dock.

[2/10]

I give the godmodder a wicked deadly poisonous punch. Also buffed with the following things:

Unavoidable
Unstoppable
Undebuffable
Unblockable
Unbodyguardable
Un-goingbackintimetostopit-able
Un-takeingawayanyofthesebuffsthroughanymeansavailableorunavailable-able
Ungodmoddable
Un-notgettinghitbyitinanyway-able
Un-dozerodamage-able
Un-generallynottakingdamagefromthisattack-able

Fellow players? Did I miss anything?

Three Warhound Titans ready for battle!

Warhound Titan:

Health: 5,000 HP

Sheilds: 2,500 HP

Vulcan Mega Bolters (x2): 500 damage x 5 attacks each. Cooldown of 1 turn. Can target ground and air units.

Tech Seers (x2): Can forgo movement to repair hull damage for 500 each for any turn.

Servitors (x3): Can forgo combat to repair shields for 500 each for any turn.

Void Shields: Scrambles enemy teleportation attempts, and protects crew against all forms of attacks until the destruction of the titan.

Loyal from Birth: Crew is immune to allegiance tests/spells.

[25/25]

UNSC Infinity warming up slipspace drives.

[3/10]