o---Charges---
Another Seamstress: 20 / 20 (+5, Simu, JOE)
Red Like Roses: 2 / 20 (+1, JOE)
+1 to JOE
+1 to the Author
Current Summons

Marron watches as the Author downs a cookie. FROM THE SKIES.

tc: Heh. Are they really that good?
tc: If you do, that's two for two! Maybe I really do have a knack for baking...

There's a ding. A stereotypical "your food is done" bell ding. Marron swoops down, and opens up what vaguely looks like an oven. A centipede-like creature pops out, which suddenly stands up on its hind legs. What looks like a beige body bag conceals most of the body, with metallic limbs ripping out of the bag. The top of the bag is torn open, with a cracked mannequin head sticking out the tear. A red glow emanates from one of the heads eyes. What appears to be a limp, dead doll is sown to the back of the tail as well...

tc: ...I'm not even sure where I keep getting these monstrosities.
tc: Whatever.


tc: ...Auth, I'll be honest. This thing scares me.
tc: Feel free to put it down.

/working

Ette will use Stitch Together on Balrog. The Winged Beast will use Harpoon Harassment on 1412 (or Urus, if the former is dead). The Seamstress will use Ensnare on Funnymouth!

Originally posted on 2017-01-31 17:28:00

20 7/20. (+2 from Redstone)
15 1/15.

+2 to Battlefury (down for charge trading?)

This is about the point when I would do something hella awesome and slap a bunch of people, but I'm technically not a descendant right now. So I guess I'll have to chill.
Toast chills with Marron, since Marron seems pretty chill right now. So chill. She hi-fives Ette to prove how chill she is.
Balrog simply cannot handle the chill.

Balrog has a 'holy gorilla' moment. One might say it's mind was 'boggled.'

Originally posted on 2017-01-31 21:04:00

10/20 Le Dudes (+2 from TOAST)

+2 Trickle

sparkysfaint decides to troll the the Winged Beast and goes up to him/her/it/tem, first saying "I'll give you some advice."
He then says a whole paragraph on how tofly and do tricks, but every letter that comes out is translated to "#." The Winged Beast becomes annoyed and drinks mind bleach (which is actually just regular bleach in disguise) to forget the horrific experience of the terrifying "#."

Edit: My 413th post woop

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 01:51:00

Malware Blade: 5/10
Virus 2.0: 2/20

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 11:19:00

11/20 Vengeful God
Foundation of the suffering 18/20 +1 from ire
+2 to Ire
now, that weathers annoying, and I set this round aside for field effects.
time to fix it.
first, I point at all the sharks in the tornado, and they all fly into the moon. somehow. I then create a rift to an airship base and start luring ships through. after about 20 ships have passed through, I find the control ship, break in, and hack into it by shooting the controls.
hey, if its stupid and it works it ain’t stupid.
anyway, I've hacked into the control ship and order all the other ships to come through, and by the end of it the sky is filled with em'.
weeeeee, lets play around with the controls!
what does this button do?
fires a cannon that I'm supposed to aim? huh.
what about... this one?
[all the ships release one atlesian knight mark 432, which ,since I hacked into the ship, is loyal to [PS].
Allright! now, why is it a mark 432? am I going to have to go back in time and do RESEARCH? awww.
[I then go back in time to find the airship base is under attack]
oh, come on.
[takes out a swordfish]
do I have to do everything?
[runs forward, lands on enemy wolfs head, jumps off, stabs enemy boar[edited typo] in the belly, kills it, runs over to a wall, jumps, points fish down, jumps off fish and brings it with me, lands on higher floor]
why aren’t they using their airships?
I can't believe how stupid they are.
[runs to the nearest airship, jumps in, grabs controls, and flys it upwards. a swarm of birds and gryphons fly at it, so I set the ship to auto-shoot-pilot and grab my fish.]
someone elses god, why don't these people just use the auto-shoot-pilot?
[jumps onto a gryphon, stabs it in the back, and jumps off as it gets auto-shot, landing on a very large bird and slices off its head, jumps off and uses blink a few times to kill the rest of the swarm]
Are they even trying to stay alive?
[having saved the city of fools, I help them make their knight-robots better so they can beat a wolf. the robots have guns, but it takes 5 of them to kill a bear. I fix that. after a few years, the rift to my world opens and I blink through]
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
action summery: get rid of shark-nado, bring fleet of ships from rwby, go back in time to make the ships not suck a ridiculous amount, by first stopping the people in the city from dieing via their own stupidity, set ships to drop one [atlesian knight mark 432] a round.

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 13:22:00

Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter
Secondary weapon: Corpse Piercer
Tertiary weapon: Corpse Blaster
Armor: NA

FVS pauses. She only has to damage something for 1500 damage to level up again, and she knows it all too well. The Balrog would be a nice target... There are other ones, of course, but better focus on taking down the big ol bastard above all else. Thus, she aims her Corpse Blaster up, focuses for a bit, and blasts a spray of buckshot upwards into the demon's face. Naturally, this attracts the attention of the horde of Reapers she recently summoned. You know. The ones with big arm blades.

Egg on your face: 2/10

+2 to Urus

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 14:41:00

A note, the PS are having their simumodder +1s halved. I gave them the +4 around the assumption that the AS would be posting regularly and not everyone seems to be reliable in their posting habits, which is fine, it just means I need to balance things differently.

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1485787921))

OOC: I hate my life. Auth doesn't even flinch when Marron hits him. He doesn't raise his hand up to his face. If it didn't heave a red mark on his face, one would think she hadn't done anything. Apologies for that comparison, then, Marron. I wasn't thinking about how you would take that when I made it. I probably do deserve that. Auth, due to his inane Watchful, catches Marron's blush. He wisely chooses not to comment on it. He also catches Marron's quiet comment. Why yes, Marron. I do believe that. Auth sighs, as Marron declines his thought. Oh, you heard that.? That was me thinking aloud, sorry. I know well I don't have the ability to persuade you. At least, not yet. I hope to raise my credibility to allow for that to happen at some point. Marron thanks him for doing what he said he would do. Marron, I said I wouldn't harm you or Ette. My word is my bond. If I say something, I will see it through. Or, in this case, ensure that it doesn't happen. You don't need to thank me, I'm holding to my word. Auth thinks to himself. Either Marron is adverse to compliments, thinks I'm flirting or... that is quite a strange reaction. I must be careful with my wording... Auth then sits down and mulls over his strategy this turn. Then the cookies get gifted to Auth. Oh! Thank you, Marron, Ette! Auth waves that thanking to Ette as well, before pulling a cookie out of the basket. And he eats it. And it's delicious. Because of course it is. It's wonderful, Marron. I love it. Auth takes two more into an airtight container. He waves that it was really good to Ette. Auth knows that Chargeus is probably dead, so he gives the 5 Charge Heal to Urus. There isn't much more to say. Then he responds to Trickle being rude. Marron happens to be an acquaintance of mine, who I knew before coming here. It it logical that I would want to communicate to her. Auth then glares at Joe. Furthermore, you happen to be in a truce with Joe. You have a call, Trickle. It's the kettle. He says you're black. ACTION SUMMARY: Auth uses Marron's 5 Charge Heal on Urus, as Chargeus is almost certainly dead. OOC: Trickle told me Funny was a joke. He told me not to heal him, so I'll comply. SPECIAL ATTACKS: The Armour of Royals: 20/20 (+2 from Trickle) The Masters of London: 19/20 (+1 from Ire, Ire)

3 health restored to Urus!
You didn't do an action, but have bonus points for good roleplay anyways.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1485798974))

I have decide in-post communication is largely more trouble then its worth, so i'm probably not gonna do it much 10/20 Vengeful God Foundation of the suffering 16/20 +4 from simumodder +2 to Ire If i do not use portal for anything else later, it will protect entitys with the following priority: 1)ette 2)Me 3)marron 4)the flying beast thing 5)balrog 6)fire demons 7)simumodder I forget if the decision was to have it block damage, or have it make a different entity get hurt by that amount- if its the 2nd option, redirect damage toward F.zombie I poke funny mouth to give the impression that I am totally not allied with tricklejest. this is not my action. I draw a purple-crystal tipped wand and point it forward, a light-purple shockwave of light spreading out. the debris from the explosion a while ago floats upwards, and reforms into scattered remains of the vacations spot.  while this gives me a decently flat place to work with, it is not what I need. an orb of dark energy forms in my hand, and with a wave of it, black onyx (oinks) walls rise around the battlefield, causing the ground to rumble slightly. when the walls reach about 50 meters tall, I close my hands and rise up on white-feathered wings, and start to look like a generic angel, which everyone will probably be outraged/confused/amused about, since I'm on the simumodders side, and have hell stuff as one of my specials to boot, but hear me out here. since this is a simulation, not only is nothing we do here going to affect whether we are in the moral right, but also we don't have any backstory, the simumodder could, theoretically, be some awesome guy who gives everyone free food and presents when they aren't a descendant, and lets descendants be because we can take care of ourselves. so yeah I get angel wings and starts building a roof out of clouds and cotton candy, which i then shed feathers all over so it gets angely light. I build several greenhouses with nice food in them and such, and make a giant temple around this building with white marble and liquid cyan crystals running down carvings in the walls, which flows through some channels I made, revitalizing the land and making it a nice pasture with lots of grass, flowers, trees, and a few animals scattered around. the blue liquid pools in the center and forms a wonderful sparkling lake with some fish and such, and a nice beach appears. this is a perfect vacation spot for normal people! but that doesn't help me, now does it? I decide to make a self-regenerating food thing for the animals in front of the PS side, so the animals flock there, and will randomly absorb hits. I then dig under this place, and build an alter to space god, the God of space. yes, its a very informative name, I know. on the alter I place a bunch of stuff, like stupidnamium and a astral-apartment rent exemption sheet and some spacey things like... a portal maker? or something. in response to my prayer, and also because my future self is making sure he does it, he moves a bunch of the times when i said PS to the alignment place of the animals,making them [PS] entitys, and then in a less meta twist, teleporting them into the path of attacks on the [PS] side. I then make sure that animals keep coming here to be teleported by putting up a big sign that says "FREE ANIMAL FOODZ" and also making a machine to bring a bunch over every turn. the place still looks like the best vacation spot ever but now it actually helps me so I have a reason to post it. Yay!

You set up a portal to protect Ette.
You change the terrain to "Animal Safe-haven". All AS attacks have a chance to hit random fluffy animals instead of their targets.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1485808043))

i remove some SlowOn: Remove Directly From The Legs from the Balrog's legs. It promptly slows down to such an absurd speed it violates the law in every single way and is punishable by death. Did i mention the Balrog is 1. on a highway with heavy traffic, 2. has no legs because i accidentally removed a bit much, and 3. All the cars are actually bombs. The Balrog is promptly exploded so hard, they are launched into the Internet. Tragically, they end up relying on a school internet connect and are therefore trapped in a small range of websites. It then proceeds to take forever clawing it's way out of the system, all the while being blocked from existence by the school internet. Finally, they manage to break free of the school internet! ...except the website they entered to escape the internet's grasp was a web design student's "about me" page. They are promptly horribly skewered as the website is continually modified to varying levels of success, moments before they are somehow flung into a pit of uncreative attacks. The Balrog tragically dies of Uncreativityitis and Uncreativity Cancer the next day. His death is mourned by many people, and a awareness day is held for pits of uncreative attacks. Everyone cries so much, they each generate a ocean. Said ocean teleports into the Balrog, causing it to swell up to massive sizes before encountering a stray needle and being popped. 3/10 2+ from trickle 1/10

Sometimes I wonder about our definition of "creativity". Nonetheless, 7000 damage!
+9000 XP

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1485821586))

Zomboss training facility 13/20 I use my new weird science special at Balrog! Wonder if it knows the effects of platypus venom... WELL it's about to. Also +1 to Sp33don

Combat Special: Weird Science (Basic)
Did you know? Not did you know anything in particular, just, did you? That phrase resounds across the internet in leaps and bounds because of the sheer weirdness of the reality that is, well, reality. Apparently even non fiction is a pretty strange place when you get down to it. For example, take the humble duck billed platypus. In order to make it, you take a beaver, and then stitch a duck's bill and feet, and a chicken's internal butt organs and BAM you have a platypus. Of course, that's not all, they excrete raspberry flavored... stuff, from their butts. Oh yeah and they have super poisonous quills under their tail which will kill things very fast. This is why your enemy is currently covered in platypi, er... platypuses? platypeople. Whatever, point is, platypi, enemy entity, poison demonstration. It just happened.
3500 damage to the Balrog!
+5000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1485872376))

posts seem slower then normal this round... maybe I'm imagining it /NULL

No, a lot of people didn't post this round

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1485875171))

/placeholderedlohecalp

#oopsdog
+0 XP

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1485883709))

o---Charges--- Another Seamstress: 20 / 20 (+5, Simu, JOE) Red Like Roses: 2 / 20 (+1, JOE) +1 to JOE +1 to the Author Current Summons Marron watches as the Author downs a cookie. FROM THE SKIES. tc: Heh. Are they really that good? tc: If you do, that's two for two! Maybe I really do have a knack for baking... There's a ding. A stereotypical "your food is done" bell ding. Marron swoops down, and opens up what vaguely looks like an oven. A centipede-like creature pops out, which suddenly stands up on its hind legs. What looks like a beige body bag conceals most of the body, with metallic limbs ripping out of the bag. The top of the bag is torn open, with a cracked mannequin head sticking out the tear. A red glow emanates from one of the heads eyes. What appears to be a limp, dead doll is sown to the back of the tail as well... tc: ...I'm not even sure where I keep getting these monstrosities. tc: Whatever. The Seamstress The Seamstress [PS - Ire] Hp: 40,000 / 40,000. Creature Held: None! Abilities: Violent Stitch: Uses an array of insect-like limbs to randomly stitch parts of the target together, dealing 8,000 damage to it. Ensnare: Target something with 50% HP or less. That creature is sucked into the Seamstress, and will take 6,000 damage per turn, AND will be locked into targeting the Seamstress, with 50% damage against it. The creature will be spit out after two turns, or the Seamstress's death. Attacks directed at the Seamstress during this time might target the ensnared entity instead, with a 33% chance. Only one creature may be present within the Seamstress at a time. Strobe Doll: Causes an array of lights to flash through the doll on its tail, inflicting Dazed on a target for three turns. tc: ...Auth, I'll be honest. This thing scares me. tc: Feel free to put it down. /working Ette will use Stitch Together on Balrog. The Winged Beast will use Harpoon Harassment on 1412 (or Urus, if the former is dead). The Seamstress will use Ensnare on Funnymouth!

Seamstress summoned! Your entities will do as you say.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Toast @ (time=1485896674))

20 7/20. (+2 from Redstone) 15 1/15. +2 to Battlefury (down for charge trading?) This is about the point when I would do something hella awesome and slap a bunch of people, but I'm technically not a descendant right now. So I guess I'll have to chill. Toast chills with Marron, since Marron seems pretty chill right now. So chill. She hi-fives Ette to prove how chill she is. Balrog simply cannot handle the chill. SCRABBLE BEANBAG TIE SCRABBLE. BEANBAG. TIE. This is a story of mateship, and trust. Once upon a time, in another land, there was a game of Scrabble. As prince of the Wordjumble Kingdom, the Scrabble had been a slave to the monotony of royalty. At the time that this story begins, he was watching a performance from the Royal Court. The play was boring, and made several attempts to be humorous, failing in all of them. By the conclusion (the moral of which was: 'killing people doesn't make them like you, it just makes them dead'), he had completely had it with that place. Prince Scrabble stormed from Crossword (the castle), and out into the Plains of the Lost... ...Pieces of Boardgames That You Never Find Again. The Jumbligans really needed to work on their naming system. It was always terrribly inconsistent and unwieldy. Anyway, the Scrabble Prince continued scrambling through the grass, trying to get as far away as possible. He stopped and looked back, and it seemed no-one was pursuing. Strange, but comforting. As he pondered this, he stepped back and tripped over a stray 'Q' tile for UpWords. Fading fading fading- down down down. Before he lost conciousness, a large shape seemed to loom over him, blocking out the sun... and then nothing. Are you okay? We were so worried about you. It's time to wake up now. You need to w a  k    e        u      - The Scrabble Prince woke up with a start, only to find that he couldn't see anything. He panicked for a few seconds, before realising that he just hadn't opened his eyes. Oh. As he did so, a vaguely familiar shape appeared. "Hi! Sleep well?" The Scrabble Prince looks at the shape in a rather confused and startled manner. He twists his head this way and that, as if looking at it from a different angle would change the fact that he was staring at was a beanbag. "...Excuse me?" the prince asked, thoroughly confuzzled. "How did you sleep?" the beanbag repeated, with interest. "Hold on, who are you? And why am I... here? Where is here, anyway!?" The Scrabble Prince glances around, suddenly taking note of his surroundings. They appeared to be in some kind of wooden house, and a quick scan out the window indicated that they were in a marsh of some sort, and some distance from the ground. "I found you on the Plains of the Lost Pieces of Boardgames That You Never Find Again! What were you thinking?! Any longer, and a snake and/or ladder could have ambushed you then you'd be joining the rest of the Lost!" the beanbag exclaimed, voice filled with concern. "What? Really? ...I've never been outside of the castle," he says thoughtfully, before pausing, "What do I do now?" The beanbag hops over to the window. "You're in the Mattress Marshes now, the province east of Wordjumble Kingdom. It's not fairly lengthy journey back, but I can help you. Once you re-enter your kingdom, put on this tie. It will let you see the truth." The beanbag hands him a small shoebox, with a black and silver tie folded inside. "I see. I'll accept your hospitality. Thank you." They travelled for a week- maybe more, probably less- before arriving at the kingdom. The beanbag sees the Scrabble prince off, waiting by the gate. He placed on a tie, and saw everything in a new light. He saw the Truth. Monsters. They were all monsters. Every last one of them. Monsters serving monsters listening to monsters ordering their monsters. The Scrabble Prince becomes furious, and recklessly struck out at the nearest monster. It falls to the ground, dead. This makes him happy. He continues, going on a rampage through the city he once called his home, until he reached Crossword. This way and that he took out monsters. Monsters everywhere. Finally, he reached the king of all the monsters. The circled one another for a while, before the king reached out, and ripped the tie off the prince. ... And just like that, his sight was restored. The Scrabble Prince saw his fist, flying through the air towards his father, the Boggle King, stopping it just in time. They froze in this position, before relaxing. Upon realising his son no longer had ill intent, they embraced. Hop, hop. As they did so, they heard an odd sound from the door. Hop, hop. The beanbag. He hopped slowly up to the royals, who looked up. The Scrabble Prince looked up at him. "You," the accusation was like a knife, thrown expertly and directly at the beanbag. The beanbag smiles, and hops to the side, dodging the metaphorical knife, "How did you sleep?" The Scrabble Prince wakes up. The Boggle King lies on the floor. Dead. Slain by the Prince's hand. Overcome by grief by his actions., he flees the city once more, entering the wilderness. Perhaps one day he will be able to come to terms with it all. Perhaps not. Some say they see him. Some simply lie. After a day or two though, they become thoroughly convinced that... It was all just a dream. Balrog has a 'holy gorilla' moment. One might say it's mind was 'boggled.'

Ghost toast deals damage to Balrog this round with a slight damage boost.
You just barely manage to SMASH, and the GM cries a little bit at the magnificence of your story.
20000 damage is dealt to the Balrog as the prince of scrabble tears through him in his enchanted stupor.
+12000 XP

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1485913868))

10/20 Le Dudes (+2 from TOAST) +2 Trickle sparkysfaint decides to troll the the Winged Beast and goes up to him/her/it/tem, first saying "I'll give you some advice." He then says a whole paragraph on how tofly and do tricks, but every letter that comes out is translated to "#." The Winged Beast becomes annoyed and drinks mind bleach (which is actually just regular bleach in disguise) to forget the horrific experience of the terrifying "#." Edit: My 413th post woop

OH NO NOT THE OCTOTHORPE
5000 damage to the Winged Beast.

QUOTE (Emerald_Mann @ (time=1485947978))

Malware Blade: 5/10 Virus 2.0: 2/20

Well at least you did work on your charges...
+2000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1485955355))

11/20 Vengeful God Foundation of the suffering 18/20 +1 from ire +2 to Ire now, that weathers annoying, and I set this round aside for field effects. time to fix it. first, I point at all the sharks in the tornado, and they all fly into the moon. somehow. I then create a rift to an airship base and start luring ships through. after about 20 ships have passed through, I find the control ship, break in, and hack into it by shooting the controls. hey, if its stupid and it works it ain’t stupid. anyway, I've hacked into the control ship and order all the other ships to come through, and by the end of it the sky is filled with em'. weeeeee, lets play around with the controls! what does this button do? fires a cannon that I'm supposed to aim? huh. what about... this one? [all the ships release one atlesian knight mark 432, which ,since I hacked into the ship, is loyal to [PS]. Allright! now, why is it a mark 432? am I going to have to go back in time and do RESEARCH? awww. [I then go back in time to find the airship base is under attack] oh, come on. [takes out a swordfish] do I have to do everything? [runs forward, lands on enemy wolfs head, jumps off, stabs enemy boar[edited typo] in the belly, kills it, runs over to a wall, jumps, points fish down, jumps off fish and brings it with me, lands on higher floor] why aren’t they using their airships? I can't believe how stupid they are. [runs to the nearest airship, jumps in, grabs controls, and flys it upwards. a swarm of birds and gryphons fly at it, so I set the ship to auto-shoot-pilot and grab my fish.] someone elses god, why don't these people just use the auto-shoot-pilot? [jumps onto a gryphon, stabs it in the back, and jumps off as it gets auto-shot, landing on a very large bird and slices off its head, jumps off and uses blink a few times to kill the rest of the swarm] Are they even trying to stay alive? [having saved the city of fools, I help them make their knight-robots better so they can beat a wolf. the robots have guns, but it takes 5 of them to kill a bear. I fix that. after a few years, the rift to my world opens and I blink through] ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ action summery: get rid of shark-nado, bring fleet of ships from rwby, go back in time to make the ships not suck a ridiculous amount, by first stopping the people in the city from dieing via their own stupidity, set ships to drop one [atlesian knight mark 432] a round.

Your action fails! There don't seem to be any atlesian ships around, and they're all tied up protecting the kingdoms!
+4000 XP

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1485960071))

Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter Secondary weapon: Corpse Piercer Tertiary weapon: Corpse Blaster Armor: NA FVS pauses. She only has to damage something for 1500 damage to level up again, and she knows it all too well. The Balrog would be a nice target... There are other ones, of course, but better focus on taking down the big ol bastard above all else. Thus, she aims her Corpse Blaster up, focuses for a bit, and blasts a spray of buckshot upwards into the demon's face. Naturally, this attracts the attention of the horde of Reapers she recently summoned. You know. The ones with big arm blades. Egg on your face: 2/10 +2 to Urus

Your shot smashes into the balrog, dealing 5000 damage to it.
+7000 XP

Engie levels up: Level 3!
Combat Special unlocked: Fresh Meat (Basic)

EoTB:
Ghost Toast receives her high five as detailed in toast's post... and a chill washes across the area, an unnatural ghostly chill tingles up everyone's spines... ESPECIALLY the balrog's. The balrog, its flame already dim, goes out. Balrog slain.
The Reapers, lacking a balrog to target, go after one of the fire demons, dealing 3000 damage in a frenzy of blades and cutting. Funny mouth and the flaming zombie do a special combo power team attack, dealing 7000 damage to the Seamstress and inflicting burning for 2 rounds.
On the PS side of the field, Ette discovers she lacks a balrog to target, so instead opts to patch up the fire demons for 2000 health each. The Winged Beast launches a massive harpoon barrage on 1412, dealing 2 damage to him. The Seamstress ensnares Funnmouth, pulling it deep within... that's slightly disturbing I'm not going to dwell on it.
The Fire demons have had their leader destroyed and are extremely disoriented and all try to take revenge...
Ghost toast is immune to regular damage still. W H O O P S
The Simumodder tosses +2s to Joe and Marron and walks forward. He's honestly REALLY sick of ghost toast absorbing his lackeys' attacks and walks over to her.
"Hey, would you mind... leaving please?" And thne he ghost busts ghost toast into the next dimension.
The sharks split their attacks again, targeting the seamstress and the flaming zombie. Funnymouth unfortunately gets stuck in the way of the attack thanks to the Seamstress's ensaring, so funnymouth and the flaming zombie take 4000 damage each.

It's looking grim, thanks to GM balance failing there's way too many enemies on the Pro-Simumodder side of the field. How will you ever surmount these odds...
"FOR WOOLY!!!"
An Enraged Shepherd charges up onto the field of battle, followed by a really, REALLY large flock of sheep. They seem to be angry at the pro-simumodders... and Joe in particular. How strange. Well, you'll take it.

Everything ticks up or down, Ette takes 2500 damage, Funnymouth dies to being ensnared and the Seamstress takes 2500 damage from being on fire as well.

Itinerary:
Regain the entity advantage!
Destroy the fire monsters!
Destroy Ette, she's a pretty powerful healer. Come to think of it, just break everything Marron summons until she's not single handedly the reason you don't have entity advantage.

Entity Advantage: [PS]

Weather: Sharknado (Summons 1 hostile shark every round.)
Terrain: Animal Safe-Haven (randomly intercepts AS attacks with fluffy animals)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 96/100. Cool and New Portal Armor [A]. Golden Sun [A].
Fire Demons x3 [PS]: Hp: 25000/25000.
Fire Demons [PS]: Hp: 22000/25000.
Ette [PS - Ire]: Hp: 52000 / 100000. 3/3 Bear Hug. Burning 2 rounds
The Winged Beast [PS - Ire] Hp: 33000/45000. 2/2 To the Skies. 25% Dodge Chance. Airborne.
The Seamstress [PS - Ire] Hp: 30500 / 40000. Creature Held: None. Burning 1 round
Marron [PS - Player] Hp: 10/10. 25% dodge chance. Airborne Nightmarron [A] 4/4 Petal Dance
JOEbob [PS - Player] Hp: 2/10. Astral Energy: 7%. Energy Stored: 7/14.
Angry Shark x2 [H]: Hp: 10000/10000
Angry Shark x3 [H]: Hp: 8000/10000
Flaming Zombie [AS - Engie]: Hp: 8000/20000. 1000 Regen.
Reapers x100 [AS - Engie]: Hp: 200/200. Chance to counterattack
Enraged Shepherd [AS]: Hp: 40000/40000. Wooly the talking sheep 1/4
SHEEP x200 [AS]: Hp: 100/100.
Hezetor [AS - Player] Hp: 7/10. 1 regen
1412 [AS - Player] Hp: 1/10. Silver Wossname [A]
Urus [AS - Player] Hp: 6/10. White Hat [A] 2/3. Golden Lasso [A] Stored entity: none
Battlefury [AS - Player] Hp: 8/10. Gloria Aurum [A] 2/5 colonists. 2/10 Greed



[/spoiler]

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 15:36:00

12/20 Vengeful God
Foundation of the suffering 20/20 +1 from simmumodder DONE
new charge: labyrinth of madness 2/20+1 from simumodder
+2 to Ire
Oh, look, the foundation is done!
foundation of suffering
cannot attack or body block
[REDACTED]
[DATA EXPUNGED]
[OH YOUR GOD WHY]
[THE PAIN]
[=)]
hmmm, so my attempt to change the weather failed...
I guess I'll try again.
at least terrain worked.
building on the "wonderful sanctuary/Not so evil" theme I've started, I start gathering liquid good-happyness from the flowers in this sanctuary, and put it all in a bottle. I then drink the bottle! the world seems brighter and I dance around, feeding all the animals- ahem excuse me, anyway I walk over to the walls of the sharknado and scold it for making the sharks attack people, followed by a blue-green glow spreading from the shark I'm closest to and slowly covering the entire tornado, and while its still doing so I turn around and float to the middle of the field, touching down lightly and building an altar out of holy stone, kneel on the alter, and right as the glow covers the entire tornado I rise up and wings of cyan light spread from my back, glowing, with a pillar light surrounding me, small wisps and orbs of energy that I scattered around earlier so this will look better floating upwards and circling the beam, and the tornado glows brighter, the pillar thickens, and theres a crack, its too bright-
all is quite.
the tornado is gone.
I am standing calmly with the wings spread wide and look at the wonderful day.
there is much to do.
I look up, and raise my left hand, an orb of bright yellow light within. beams of light stream outwards, visible only due to a thin mist, and stop almost 600 meters away, pointing north, south, east, and west, respectively. the light seems to pool as if a liquid on a flat surface, spreading through the sky and forming a golden dome, with only small cracks, and soon, none at all.
The dome isn't solid, of course. Its only made of light.
But I keep sending in more, and the dome thickens, covering everything, bit by bit.
the dome covers the walls of the center building.
It continues onwards toward the altar.
And covers it.
There is another flash of light.
A calm, happy tune is audible.
there are fluffy gold-white clouds in the sky, and the sun is bright, but not painfully so.
its so nice, and relaxing...
almost... as.. if... you should... take... a... nap....
I draw some crackling black energy from another dimension, and the light dims around me, the music becoming inaudible, and I build a circle in the sky with a stick made of that strange material. the sides suck light out of the air, and when I finish the circle, it encompasses the entire [PS] side, which now seems to be in a perpetual dusk. I close my eyes and the crackling energy scatters out, filling the air in this circle. outside, a good many beings fight sleep, and within, everyone stands around, perfectly conscious.
[INTENTION SUMMERY: make the weather apply some sort of drowsiness status effect to non-[PS] entitys]
[suggested name: no ideas as of now.]


Originally posted on 2017-02-01 15:38:00

Trickle defends the shop.

---

CHARGES
-----------
Mr. Meaty - 6/20. [+2 from Redstone].
O)u(O - 20/20.
-----------

+2 to Bfury.
QUEUE: [Consomme, Speed, Redstone].

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 15:51:00

o---Charges---
Red Like Roses: 3 / 20
The Cat Beast: 5 / 20 (+4, JOE, Simu)
+1 to JOE
+1 to the Author
Current Summons

Marron watches as the Simumodder violently murders Ghost Toast.

tc: ...
tc: Sim. Simu. Godmodder. Whatever name you go by.
tc: WHAT THE gorilla!?
tc: SHE WAS MY FRIEND, YOU gorilla!

She performs a 0-damage slap upon the Simumodder. And then another. And another. She keeps slapping until she manages to vent most of her rage, eventually calming down and regaining rational though. Still somewhat miffed, Marron activates Petal Dance, allowing her to act twice in this one post! That'll almost certainly be dangerous...

tc: Alright! Time to put this thing to its full potential!

But then she has her doubts. After all, the Nightmarron is kinda dangerous in the hands of an inexperienced user...

tc: I-It'll be fine, right? The worst that'll happen is that it'll cut off my arm. Again.
tc: Deep breath...
tc: I-I can do this!

>ACTION 1
Marron dismounts the Winged Beast and readies the Nightmarron, the weapon switiching into a right and proper scythe. She points it backwards, and pulls the trigger on the device. A bullet rips out of the back of the scythe, and Marron goes flying forward. At a rather high velocity. She lets out a little scream; apparently, it's a little too fast for her.

In a panic, she points the weapon to the side slightly, and fires another round. This sends her sailing towards 1412! Another panicked round sends her into a deadly spin! The spinning puppeteer's blade manages to perfectly sever her target's head, sending it spiralling to the floor in a burst of blood!

Marron, after taking a violent (but somehow non-HP damaging) spill on the ground, brushes herself off, and loots the Silver Wossname from his (hopefully) dead body. She then reloads the Nightmarron, takes another deep breath, and lets a shot loose in the opposite direction of the Flaming Zombie!

>ACTION 2
Marron spirals through the air at yet again, another hair-raising speed. As she flies, she just manages to point the Nightmarron in front of her in time, and swaps it into its Spear Form again! This results in her flying directly into the Flaming Zombie, impaling it violently! However, her velocity causes her to keep flying forward, eventually slamming the zombie, who was stuck on the tip of the spear into a tree.

She rips her spear out of the Flaming Zombie (and the tree), and then unloads the Nightmarron into the Flaming Zombie's skull. Several rounds and a large hole in the zombie's head later, Marron decides to attempt an x2 DECAPITATION COMBO, switching the Nightmarron back to Scythe mode, and going for the neck of the Flaming Zombie.

Marron takes a moment to catch her breath, calls back down her ride, and takes to the skies. Somewhat tired now, she dozes off on the back of her mechanical mount. Flying around and murdering things is exhausting work.

---

Ette will use Stitch Together on the Seamstress! The Winged Beast will use To The Skies on the Enraged Shepard! The Seamstress will use Violent Stitch on the Flaming Zombie! If the Flaming Zombie is dead, it'll use Strobe Doll on the Enraged Shepard!

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 17:54:00

20 8/20.
15 2/15.

+2 to Battlefury

"Well, that was inconvenient," is all she manages before she winks out of existence. She cannot act. Her 'Gone' quality is too high for that. As shown in her passives, that iteration of her will not be returning.

...

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 20:09:00

I spawn a colony
4/10
2/10
2+ toaster

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 20:10:00

11/20 Le Dudes

+2 Bfury

sparkysfaint flies up to the winged beast and turns the wings into titanium. The Winged Beast falls down and rips its abdominal skin.

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 23:15:00

I meant to put more, then failed. Hard Coded on JOEBob for some good old damage. Specifically, I code that he was the target of every single attack he has made, replacing his target. Granted, this isn't very effective without a stable time machine (which would seriously [REDACTED] with continuity), but, you know, still works
Malware Blade: 6/10
Virus 2.0: 3/20
I help Ire the maximum amount (+2, I believe), with the condition that he use it on Red Like Roses

Originally posted on 2017-02-01 23:55:00

its +2
/NULL

Originally posted on 2017-02-02 00:06:00

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1482272280))

Player Vulnerability: Players are, in fact, attackable, just only under specific circumstances. You can initiate PvP, the loser of which dies, certain enemy abilities will inflict vulnerability, using an artifact or upgrading yourself will render you vulnerable, and if your faction is doing badly enough entity-wise you will be directly targetable. Death is simple, you lose your standard action for one round, during which you have to spend any posts you make "respawning". Charges remain unaffected by death, aren't I nice? Default player health is 10, with the special measure "Survivor", which causes anyone with that tag to take damage in 1s, and be particularly hard to hit at all. Basically think of it like trying to attack the Simumodder only not quite as bad. As a note, while vulnerable, body blocking STILL counts as an action because really, dying isn't more than a slap on the wrist and being able to just tank everything would make your entities effectively invincible.

I was going to post an in-depth last-ditch attack to hopefully do something awesome before I died before I noticed this in the rules...
I haven't been particularly hard to hit, and I know I've taken more than one damage in a turn twice before.
So, what's the deal with the survivor tag? It didn't say any circumstances in which it wouldn't be applied, therefore I am forced to assume that all players should have had it since the beginning. And in that case, me and the other AS players should all have at least two more health than we do now, accounting for the Simumodder's "hit all vulnerable players for three damage" attack, and his other "hit all players for 2 damage" attack.
Granted it's possible that still works anyway due to simumodder powers, in which point I argue that I took two damage from players on two separate occasions.

And of course if the AS side gets compensated for this, then I expect the PS side to as well. It's only fair, and there's only one ps player out right now anyway so it's still a net gain for the AS side.

Oh yeah and Zomboss training facility 15/20

Originally posted on 2017-02-02 07:30:00

SIMUMODDER YOU FRICCIN' MORON YOU JUST SANK PUPPETOAST
RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
----
IN A BURST OF SHIP-SINKING-INDUCED RAGE, I USE SHIPPING GRID: ADVANCED ON THE DAMAGED FIRE DEMON. AIRHORN SOLUTIONS JUST SITS THERE.
[==]/\Charges/\[==]
Adam Ruins Everything: 4/20
Blaze, Blizz, Blitz, and Bazaltz It: 4/20

Originally posted on 2017-02-02 09:51:00

Sheriff Clint Cactus the White Sphere has an idea. He puts on a Fire Demon costume, and then angers the fluffy animals. He removes the costume just as the animals stampede toward the real fire demons.

---

Melon 4/5
IT'S SPHERICAL 3/10 (+2 from engie)
+2 to engie

Originally posted on 2017-02-02 22:31:00

Assuming I'm somehow still alive, I pull out... a flaregun.
"You want this wossname? Feh. You're not worthy.

Ever heard of a Kingdom called Loathing? Bizarre place. Magic there is almost entirely pasta- and sauce-based. The currency is meat. Knowing you have a torso-much less what shirts are- is considered an unusual and rare skill. Anyway, that's where I got the Wossname.

I got it for fighting in a war. War between hippies and frat boys, admittedly, but still war. War so violent it pushed out the resident pirate population, sending them into hiding in parts unknown. But I didn't just fight in the war. You know what else I did? I tricked both sides into destroying each other. Between chasing around ducks to garner supplies for the frat boys and fighting lobsterfrogmen for the hippies, both sides grew powerful enough to tear the other apart. Almost. Only two remained after the dust settled: The Man (you know, as in "The Man's keeping us down") and the Big Wisniewski (some bowler guy who was apparently hippy king).

And then I called in the pirates for the finishing blow. They were pretty happy about that. In the end they got their turf back and got to bomb the ones who chased them out back to the stone age. Literally.

Now they owe me a favor. And no the favor wasn't the Wossname, I got that from the Council.

Anyway, time for me to cash it in."

I then fire the flaregun into the air.
After a moment's pause, a merciless barrage of explosives falls from the sky, detonating on impact and engulfing the PS team in a fiery maelstrom of pyrotechnic annihilation.

Zomboss training facility 16/20


Originally posted on 2017-02-02 23:59:00

did joebob just play cookie clicker
----
Airhorn Solutions airblasts the damaged Angry Shark back into the Sharknado.
[==]/\Charges/\[==]
Adam Ruins Everything: 5/20
Blaze, Blizz, Blitz, and Bazaltz It: 5/20

Originally posted on 2017-02-03 12:35:00