I finish both sets of code at the same time, spawning a grey humanoid Virus, and a little Interface with the AI
"WH0 D4R35 70 5U..."
"Yeah yeah whatever, get assimilated"
I throw the AIs interface at the Virus, causing the virus to absorb the AI and its intelligence, thereby making a living, intelligent virus.... this might not have been the best idea in a simulation

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 15:27:00

Finally. I don't have to use any charges.
Now, looks like there's a MiniBoss on the field. Sure, I can't get spoils from him, but this might be fun. Trickle looks at Charge-Man for a second before a hazy memory is brought up.


"Hey... didn't I... didn't I make you!?"
"Yeah!"
"I mean..."
"Before I split!"
"And I gave you to this... uh... overpowered dude... what was his name again?"
"Guitarplayer?"
"I'm just gonna calm himself Doctor Overpowered."
"So technically, I made you!"
"I AM YOUR FATHER!"

Charge-Man is startled and takes a few steps back.

"It's time for you to meet your maker!"

Trickle dashes through the Meat-Shields, slicing them in half with another weapon of his, the Asterism, a legendary sword Trickle stole from a real hero. Just like the real-life punctuation, the Asterism pauses the enemy in place. It's also made from actual asteroid rocks. This allows Trickle to dash back and forth, slicing the Meat-Shields. Once they unfreeze, he pulls out the MP35.

"Time for you to chill out!"

Weapon fusion! This hasn't happened in a while, has it?
MP35 + The Asterism = The Comet

The Asteroid is a ranged weapon that shoots accordingly to the tune you are playing, like the MP35. The Asteroid shoots little freezing ice balls, or comets, because frankly that's what a comet actually is.

Trickle shoots the Meat-Shields with the Asteroid, with a relaxing-ish tune named Glue70 - Casin.

"And now for the finishing blow!"

Now that the Shields are frozen, he blows them up with the Shishkablam, shattering them to pieces.

---

CHARGES
-----------
Rise of the Charges - 7/20. [+1 from 1412]
ETERNITY - 2/20.
-----------

+2 to Battlefury.
QUE IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 15:37:00

Ugh, okay, I can see that I'm going to have to do something to prevent people from dropping SMASHes all over the place like cheap candy.
I introduce to you all...
The Curse of Anti-Smash Spam. The more frequently you perform SMASHes, the more they'll be nerfed, ones that are weak enough will be downgraded to the standard damage cap of 8000 and lose their SMASH status altogether. Seriously guys, you don't need to throw around that kind of nonsense in these amounts, especially not this early on in the game.

Also of note, the cap at which you can no longer upgrade things has been changed to account for how things have been going. The point at which you can no longer upgrade an entity is no longer some arbitrary number. Instead, any entity that is Elite or Boss cannot be upgraded. At all.
Currently an entity becomes elite at the following stats: 120000 health, 20000 attack
Yes, this means Charge Man isn't an elite, I'm stripping him of that rank this round.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1484241601))

[big][big][big]. . .[/big][/big][/big] [b][big][b][big][big]. . .[/big][/big][/big][/b][/b] [big][big][big]. . .[/big][/big][/big] Dart. Dart it all through nether and back. ... Y O U W I L L P A Y =) Steffan 13/20 +2 simmumodder 7/20 Astral unlocking +2 from simmumodder +2 to Irecreeper I take the portal armor and give it to the simmumodder, its in safe hands there. my action here (below) is to take it. the portal armor vanishes in a flash of light, and appears on the simmumodder. another me appears after completing the actions that will be put below, and traveling back in time, thus solving the logistical problems of making sure I happen first Spoiler Alert blue flecks of light fade in and out of existence around me, and I decide to do my best to reach smash length, or at least come close. consumer will pay. a blue rift appears infront of me, and I run through, trying to arrive as bob dies ( :,(_) and snatch it out of the air. obviously, its not that easy, otherwise this post would be too short. using magic to time-travel like this is outlawed in this multiverse branch. my portal is rerouted into a brick fortress, the walls gold and white. guards stand ready, and immediately open fire, but I block it with a wall of red light, then vault over, kicking one of them in the head and dropping another with a throwing star, then land. one of them runs at me and I punch him in the nose, spinning around to catch the one sneaking up on me with a kick. I pull out a sword and start chopping their heads off, many dieing before a stone colossus rumbles in. it swings at me, and I jump over it, dropping the sword for increase agility. I land on its hand and pull out a hammer, smashing it in the head using its own momentum, and jump forward past it, landing into a roll,and keep running. a robot storms out with a laser cannon and spinning saw. I prepare for battle, crouching slightly, and dodge righ- the colossus from before knocks me over with a fragment of its arm,smashing me into the wall. I stumble to my feet, blood gushing from a large wound in my head, turn to the colossus, and pull out a swamp-green wand. I rush forward, light gathering in the wand, and flip over the colossus, leaving a green rope draped on its arm, and run past again, the rope twisting around it, and jump onto its head. I run around the  colossus several times, and it falls over, trapped. I prepare to off the colossus ,raising my wand, and  get knocked into the other wall by a beam of light from the robot. man, I really gotta stop ignoring everything. I pull out a parasol made entirely of blue crystal, and drop it on the ground in front of me, a blue shield flowing out and protecting me from it. having dealt with that, I raise my hand again, and stab the wands sharp crystal into the colossus,green light blossoming forth and causing the colossus to bloom, flowers popping out in seconds, and its life force is drained in seconds. Having dealt with that, I pick up the parasol and it morphs into a bag of crystals labeled "sunstone". i pull out one of them and throw it at the robot, where it lands on the floor and sits there doing nothing. Ooops. I jump over its cannon shot and dump the whole bag on it, accomplishing- Get This!- nothing. having run out of ideas that fit, I take out a grenade launcher, say "Now." and launch a grenade. the grenade explodes, and slams me into the wall, but the sunstone activating and turning the immediate vicinity into a ball of fire does nothing to me. the robot having been reduced to molten slag, i run past, and spot the exit rift. I Can Make It! a garage-door wall thing slams down in front of me. I was so Close! a ton of people rush forward, armed with clubs and swords,and I stop messing around, vanishing and reappearing behind them, and start beating hitting them up, landing glancing blows and such, before I pull out a golden mallet and start smacking them on the head with it, knocking several out. then i pull out a grey draidel and spin it at them upside down, pikes and spike rising out of the ground. most of them die, but one of them jumps over them and lands in front of me, sword drawn. I draw a banana and baguette, and block his strike with the baguette, and force him back. he back-flips, and lands on one of the spikes, though its pointed behind him at a 45 degree angle, so he's fine. I aim with the gun banana, and yank it back as if firing a gun, launching a banana out of it. the banana hits him in the face, mushing and covering his face, and I swing with the baguette, knocking him back further and into a spike, killing him. having deal with everything, I eat some blue cheese and prepare, gathering my energy, and break the door down, walking through the rift to teleportal the armor to simumodder. on arrival,  I tell the simumodder "this thing took 20 charges. use it well."  unholy robots guard charge man (if entitys can do this) or, if that cant happen, attack maria, IF she gets the armor. if she doesnt, then they attack a random non-player entity that is an AS i poke maria lightly after that

Edge™
Also, raw length does nothing for your post. You spent the entire post beating up random people for... what reason?
For all intents and purposes this post has roughly 2 sentences worth of strength. Slightly less because you STILL haven't capitalized or grammer-checked anything.
Anyways, you attempt to reclaim the portal armor, and get battlefurbied.
+3000 XP

QUOTE (ConsumerOfAll @ (time=1484241614))

Alicia nods. “fine. The ‘cool and new’ edition of me is insane, but I, myself, am - what is she doing” Cool and New Alicia takes a trick out of JOE’s book.  This happens. Note: JOE's one line of dialogue is extremely inaccurate with reality, as is the depiction of the Simumodder. I do not believe that he thinks that the Simumodder is the waifumodder. As JOE portals the Portal Armour to the Simumodder, Alcia taps into it. “joe koe that is mine i keelid ur ntitty and thus i own it via method of spoilops. noe. jow. as dat is mine, u cannot gove it to the simmu modder without my permission. cest rude, dude. stop.” JOE realises that reality has turned into the raw and utter shite as depicted in the animation, and remembers that he has failed to redirect the raw and utter shite into Homestuck. Alcia smiles, her smile rippling into the air, before her fingers elongate, clawing around the Portal Armour. He likely experiences fear, before Alcia hands it to Maria, and puts it on her. If you watched the animation you'd know what I mean by put. No matter who the armour belongs to, Alcia tries to work her cool and new magic on it. The Portal Armour is repaired, and becomes Cool and New. [A] cool and new pirtal armour: 1/6 Charges. 0/720 cool and new stacks (+5 per turn). The Number: 1/7. The Portal Armour has been buffed, gaining an extra charge, and Cool and Newness. Cool and New Stacks: Can be expended to do whatever the wielder wants, as long as it is cool and new. Tend to inflict Cool and New Corruption which doesn't have a definition, apart from ruining spelling. The Number: Uses cool and new stacks to summon entities of the wielder’s choice. Alicia claims the Portal Armour, Maria attacks a Meat Shield. Cool and New Artifice [10/10] ACTIVATED Makes the Portal Armour Cool and New. Reloading for N00bs, Reloading for You [8/10] [+2 from Doggo] +2 to Spoon.

You drop a SMASH, steal the portal armor and upgrade it to the Cool and New Portal Armor. The Number is not added, however.
+12000

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1484241731))

While JOE is beating up a bunch of irrelevent mobs, i sneak up on him, and stab the Dagger Of Rerouting Life Force into his wand, using my shadowy 23 (note: joe having no FL character has a watchful value of nonexistent.) to easy slide it into his wand. Next, i buff the mobs attacking him with every single elemental enchant and x5 CritAug, before giving them absurd defense buffs. I then simply surround him with Dog Guardian spawners, and watch as the various mobs proceed to flatten his face. They spend the next few hours ""tenderizing"" his corpse. I then massively sabotage Joebob's second stage.  Firstly, i swap out his sunstone for a orb disguised as the sunstone. The orb is separating a piece of a strange metal and moonstone, the two of which seem to be actively attempting the murder of the other. No matter.  When he goes to throw it, it explodes in his hand instead, scattering his inventory everywhere. The Grenade launcher falls into a pit of acid. JOEbob is fling off the map, because it turns out the Parasol gives 10000% increased knockback as a negative. Meanwhile, i arm the mob that he was going to kill with mythril-grade fire arms and artillery. They also deal 10000% increased knockback. JOE is fling off the map once again. The mob, meanwhile, moves over to destroy another target, described later on. When Joebob tries to use a rift to teleport over to the Simumodder, i preemptively plant anti-rift bombs at both the entrance and exit. They go off just as Joe enters the rift, trapping him in the middle of the rift, for, oh, i wouldn't know, quite a long and tragic period of time. The mob, meanwhile, descends upon a meatwall and proceeds to unload their immense firepower upon the meatwall, which is riddled with an excess of bullet holes, gaping wounds due to artillery shells, and finally dozens of stab wounds from a bayonet charge. Alas, the entire mob is presumably massacred, being effectively a one-post summon without the "summon" part. Summary: Counter Joe, overkill on counter goes for a meatwall. 12/20 2/20

Okay, you know what?
I'm getting really sick of these counter wars. As of next update, counters neither provide experience beyond the 2000 all posts give, and are mutually exclusive with other actions.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1484261000))

I point out that My wonton firing didn't seem to actually do anything to joebob. As an attack I pull out a bucket of actual neath lacre and upend it upon the healthier fire demon's head. Even if it just does regular snow stuff and makes it cold and wet that should significantly weaken it. Order of the silver wossname 4/11

Oh, oops. Sorry.
I think lacre is even more unhealthy for a fire demon than snow. 4000 damage.
+6000 XP

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1484281939))

9/10 Swordstorm +1 1412 sparkysfaint assumes the form of a Nether, a strange clan of samurai whom wield the power of entropy via a katana and a glowing energy in the other hand. sparkysfaint charges at Meat Shield 5 and uppercuts several times, flash jumps behind Meat Shield 5, and blasts it with void a few times. He then changes stance and slashes the Meat Shield using several moves. He changes back his stance and blasts the Meat Shield with pure void energy. Finally, he stabs the ground, opening a portal to the void (note, not Void, void) and kicking the Meat Shield into there. The portal closes, and reappears after a bit, spitting out the Meat Shield with all limbs nonexistent and possibly dead.

Nice combo there, you make mincemeat (hahaha I made a funny) of Meatshield 5, dealing 5000 damage.
+7000 XP

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1484286371))

FUCK. Looks like stuff just happened. And I missed it. Also, breaking news, JoeBob is way ahead of little ol' me. But that's about to change. Trickle grabs the Ham Knife and slams it into the ground, poofing out seven Terrifying Porkchops straight outta nowhere. "Nice." He then tells Lonnor to heal Underknight. And now it's time to rock. The Fire Demons, already salty because of the rain, get even more salty when- Oh. Aren't I forgetting something? /placeholder - 10/10. Yeah. That. Trickle reaches into the sky, just far enough to catch a giant placeholder falling from the sky. "Now, what do I do with this?" He walks up to the Fire Demon Duo, who, like mentioned prior, are already really pissed at the rain. And then Trickle jams the placeholder in them, piercing through both of them. "Hehehe..." The Demons get even angrier and attempt to attack Trickle, but fail, obviously. Trickle then pulls out the placeholder and smashes them to death. Smash. Smash. Smash. One of the Demons looks as the other one is crawling on the floor in pain. "You jealous?" The Porkchops then run at the Demon on the floor. They tear apart the Demon, and just when he's dying, Trickle then pulls out the Shishkablam and explodes the Demon right outta here. Trickle then throws the placeholder at the second Demon like a boomerang, cutting off his head. He then throws his head at a nearby tree, toppling it along with three others, like bowling pins. "Awww yeah!" CHARGES ----------- Rise of the Charges - 5/20. ETERNITY - 1/20. ----------- +2 to Battlefury. QUE IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

7 Terrifying Porkchops summoned!
You then beat both of the fire demons to death with a placeholder post.
Ouch.
+4000 XP

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1484290528))

o---Charges--- Sisterhood: 11 / 20 (+6, JOE) Care Package: 2 / 20 +2 to JOE Marron decides to respond to the Author. tc: Meh. Tell you what. tc: If you actually go through with not hurting Ette... tc: I'll cut you some slack, and not stick a few bolts in your head. tc: For now... no promises! She then notices the Fairview Survivor. tc: Hey, why NOT join the Simumodder? tc: It seems much more fun. Marron then pulls out a cute little doll that looks just like the Lonnor. Lonnor identifies it as a voodoo doll, and charges towards Marron to get it before she can do anything with it! She sidesteps the charge, and plants a couple of crossbow bolts into Lonnor's backside. She then flings the doll towards Lonnor, who snatches up the doll! Marron then fires a salvo of bolts aimed directly at the doll! Not wanting the doll to get hit because of the nature of voodoo dolls, Lonnor tanks the shots because that'd be a lot less painful in the long run. Marron then eventually lands a round the doll's head. There's a silence. ...Absolutely nothing happens to Lonnor. The voodoo doll was a ruse! While Lonnor's standing still, going "well now i'm not dead isn't that great", Marron stabs a few needles through Lonnor's skull, which then retract into the ground, pulling along their pincushion, pinning them to the ground. The puppeteer then grabs the Lonnor doll from Lonnor's arms, then casts a quick little spell on it. She then shoots another crossbow bolt into the doll's hand, causing a great deal of pain in Lonnor's own hand. She then pulls out a match, lights the doll on fire, sticks it on her crossbow, and shoots it into the distance. Lonnor, in order, is lit on fire, impaled by an unseen force, and then flung into the distance.

Joining the simumodder would take a Dramatic Betrayal! So doing so might be a little difficult.
The unfortunate Lonnor takes 6000 damage right to the skull.
+8000 XP

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1484296831))

Well that's rude. "Betrayal and dark arcane arts? how incredibly medieval." I begin to spread bad rumors about the PS side. And stab a meat wall. With a knife. Scandal:PS is at 1: Suspect! Order of the silver wossname 6/11(+1 fromRedstonetam) +1 to Battlefury +1 to Trickle

You stab the meat wall while spreading rumors. Which is worse, the physical or emotional pain? Who knows!
3000 damage to Meat Wall 3.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1484307810))

Steffan 14/20 9/20 Astral unlocking  +2 from irecreeper +2 Tricklejest has made the deal Sorry, but maria's gotta go. I walk over, and whisper in her ear... something. After she hears it, she's horrified! What could it be? While she is busy being horrified, I start slap her a few times. Then,         This occurs after consumers post, and is me stealing the armor if possible, otherwise deal as much damage to maria as possible. (assuming she gets it and uses that charge, otherwise this is me beating maria up, armor ignored. Having grabbed the armor, I throw it to the simumodder and start doing things to give my past self the power to do that, like a silly dance and poking myself in the eye and firing a sproing into a wormhole, a sproing being a thing that launches a fish at 259 MPH with a spring, and makes a sproing sound. Then I do more silly dances to send my distant past self the smell of a fart, and some more random things like a jar of orange jam and some overdrive energy and the stuff i needed to steal the armor and a magical beam of light and the stick of truth and a sliced piece of cheese and a banana gun and some cookies for being such a good boy and a note saying "join PS or i will make your life hell" to make that retroactively why I did that and a bunch more stuff.       Then i ask the simumodder if he'll make sure I retroactively succeeded in geting him the armor that is worth 30 charges now and poke ire on the nose and give him a chair and throw random chunks of rock into the air so they fall back down on my face and sniffing a flower and sending a message to my past self to stop slacking off, and sending my past self a shield generator to stop people from blocking his action and programming it to repel any player action by people whos user-names aren’t JOEbob and telling him seriously make sure you do that and remembering I did that and realizing I needed a magic thing for it and going on a long trip to get the magic thing with the shield still active and getting the thing and realizing it was used to create itself whoa and going to the vault holding the universes best candy and spending 3 years enchanting it and sending it to my past self so he could get the magic.       Then I start time travelling back in time with a rock, which I make sure is the rock I travel back in time with, and repeating this till i have a ton of rocks and turn them into more energy then a nuclear power plant makes in years and sending it back in time for myself cuz' I really need (ed) the power and then eating breakfast and then creating a time-travel based method of solving NP-complete problems more quickly and making millions off it and using arbitrage to make even more $ and sending that back in time too so i can make a second fail-safe shield generator and wipe that part of my memory to avoid paradoxes.     After that, I make a crackling black dot in my hand to pass the time and realising I should send that back in time too and then sending my past self and future selves cake on every one of my birthdays ever, which explains that thing where I get cakes from thin air all the time, and throwing a cream pie at battlefury if he tries to counter me, which he probably will since he still has a post to spare, and then making an automatic cream pie launcher to throw cream pies at everyone who trys to stop me, with the cream carved into a trollface, and making sure the shield is still on so they can't stop me and yes it is and then i make another 2 shield generators and turn them on and send them back to last round so they can't be countered it and also sending back an nigh-unlimited energy source and cracking them up to overdrive so they are unstoppable and hoping this is enough, and remembering my original plan was to poison everything this turn, good times. Not enough.         I take out some dried-then-soaked apricots and throw them everywhere, distracting everyone because they are too delicious to resist, and start creating the legendary 92706 KG shard filled dried-then-soaked apricot, which is deadly to anyone who eats it but is irresistible if you don't have access to a 927734 KG not-shardfilled dried-then-soaked apricot. I then proceed to watch as everyone dies a bit, or in the descendants case, is incapacitated, and realize after typing this that wait, the seekers of the name are hungry, this is the greatest plan for later, then go back in time to make sure none of it deals damage by making it non-fatal shards that still incapacitate people so my action isn’t split to include damaging people and start spamming "mage armor" on myself for protection. Maybe this is enough? Nah. A firey sphere appears around me, for protection, and then some black gunk thing, and a white ball, and a wall of trees springs up, and a metal cage, and so on and so forth. i have decided i am insufficiently paranoid after checking who posted before me, and continue my paranoid actions. I turn on the time-travel thing, so all my actions affect my past, and start throwing in more shield generators, one anti-entity, one anti AS, one anti not-JOE or Maria, one anti everything that wants to stop me, and then throw in more fuel, and black coal and stuff, and an invisibility thing so i don't see it. Not enough. I start casting intent-based magic on stupidnamium rune-stones, which makes it stop people from stopping me from doing the thing, and  make more cream pie throwers with homing intaligable-to-anything-that-isnt-their-targer cream pies that move really fast straight to their target, because cream pies. I then throw them into the past, and add a anti-interference apricot that is magic and will be impossible to ignore, and everyone trying to stop me instantly will notice. The apricot regenerates, and I am immune to it because I made it. the apricot is, like the others, really tasty, so nobody wants to stop, and is also enchanted with time-slow, so anyone who touches it is slower until i deactivate the magic, even if they let go. then I go back in time while invisible and guard my past self from potential counterers using î's and spike walls and reprogramming my barriers and stuff. [ACTIONS SUMMERY] steal armor if maria has it, do a bunch of reverse- chronological stuff to buff it (the stealing) , and spend like 2-6 paragraphs protecting the action from possible counters. yes, I’m paranoid enough for that, and then some. EDIT: Please note that All the defense measures where explicitly sent back in time. this clarification here is to be ignored by the GM, and is to help people realise the thing (as opposed to blocking them, since that was already done)

The text and the animation were both iffy on their own, but together, they're enough to give you proper SMASH territory. This SMASH spam is getting annoying.
Anyways, you waste your SMASH on retrieving the Cool and New Portal Armor and giving it to the Simumodder.
+17000 XP

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1484308731))

place held

#testingtesting123
+2000 XP

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1484316968))

Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter Secondary weapon: Corpse Piercer Tertiary weapon: NA Armor: NA Time to post fast. FVS uses Corpse maker Advanced on the first Fire Demon. No roleplay because time limit. Aggro Spike: 4/4 (eh I'll do this one next post) Temporary Mutation: 4/5

Combat Special: Corpse Maker (advanced)
It's time to upgrade your arsenal. Rifles and pistols are handy in a pinch, but when it comes to short-ranged combat it's hard to do better than a good old fashioned shotgun. So once again conjuring up the powers of creation and Descendency you reach into your pack and pull from it a brand new Corpse Blaster. This weapon is made of various... unsettling items, the bolt-catch is connected together with a human skull, and a hellhound spine is the main reinforcement of the barrel. Perfect. You march right up to your target, stick the thing in their face, and pull the trigger. Bam. Instant gibs. You feel very satisfied with the result.
3500 damage to Meatshield 3 in absence of a fire demon to target.
+5500 XP

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1484317978))

Isn't timing a wonderful thing, Joe? Maria isn't going anywhere. Auth sighs, and he watches Joe's movements closely. Repeatedly. On loop. Using some sort of Ink Premonition thing. As he goes to kick Maria for the second time, that isn't countered automatically by the Portal Armour, Auth smirks, and points at Joe before he makes contact. Ah, ah, ah, don't think I didn't see that coming. You really shouldn't leave yourself open... Auth uses his Ink Control to summon an Ink Specter behind Joe, and then phase into it, all under a second. Auth grabs Joe by the leg, centimeters from Maria's head, and pulls him away from her, preventing her getting removed from the armour. Auth's Watchful stat allows him to effortlessly dodge the barrage of pies, because Auth has the mental capacity to judge trajectories on the fly. Auth casts Joe aside, throwing him to the floor, before grinding his heel into Joe's chest and smirking. Your incessant garbage makes me want to lash out, and I rarely say that about people. Did I ever tell you I was a Dhampyr? Please, don't make me show you the other half of me, for I don't wish to cause grievous bodily harm, usually. Auth shatters the chains, causing burn marks to appear on Joe's wrists and ankles. Somehow. Auth kicks Joe away into a wall, before sighing, and pouring himself some more tea. What Joe fails to realize is that he should have set up his defenses before attacking Maria, as Auth could get to Joe effortlessly, and get out again before he sets up the shield barriers. These barriers don't affect Auth anyway, as he lacks a username, and that causes the Barriers to crash with a NULL error. I am not sure what you did with those apricots. If they still exist, The Seekers eat them, and are completely unaffected. They've all eaten worse. They've all done impossibly worse things. Come now, do you think that they won't suck it up? In the Neath, death is no more than an inconvenience, where the flu is more of a hassle. Do you think that some allegedly lethal Apricots will do much to them? But I think you removed them, so... Auth points at I can't defeat Charge Man! The Underknight leaps into action, and it moves at an inhuman speed at the... is it a battery? Like the Duracell mascot? It holds its blade forward, and if it pierces Charge Man, it throws him up in the air, and allows him to fall upon the blade that The Udnerknight uses to pierce the Heavens. It throws Charge Man against a Meat Shield, then picks up Charge Man, and smashes him into the Meat Shield 3 a few... dozen times. The Underknight applies another blow, shattering its arm, but wounding the Battery Guy in the process. The Underknight effortlessly reforms its arm, and walks away, seemingly complete in its task. So now the Seekers can do something. They take the two of the Ravenous Wolves, and rip them up. They eat all parts of them, the skin, bones, muscle, tendons, you name it. They live up to their Reputations of being Abominations, which they earned more or less by Seeking the Name. The Wolves appear to have never existed, the hunger of the Seekers rival the ravenous wolves themselves. It's almost like this lot are zombie-like, out of sheer hunger. They then sit aside, attempting to forge some candles among the lot of them. THAT'S THE ACTION! Auth sighs in relief that Alicia is ok. I'm glad that you're okay, Ms. Cambridge. This "Cool and New" version I must express disapproval of. Not much we can do about her, I suppose. Auth then turns back to Marron. Not having bolts stuck in my head is a wonderful start, Ms. Marron. I swear upon my honor that no harm will come to you or Ms. Ette from me, or any entity that I control. You may hold me to this, as a bond of words. ACTION SUMMARY... OH BOY: Auth uses a paragraph or two to counter Joe's thieving of Maria's CaN Portal Armour. The Underknight targets Charge Man. The Seekers devour two Ravenous Wolves. SPECIAL ATTACKS: ARMOUR OF THE ROYALS: 6/20 (+1 from Consumer) THE MASTERS OF LONDON: 7/20 (+1 from Consumer) +2 to Hez. (my god. i am tired)

You prevent the damage that JOE would have done had he targeted Maria, I feel sorry for such a good action going to waste and give you some XP as compensation.
You DO however buff Underknight and the Seekers' attack this round.
+9000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1484323520))

surprised you could tell the first kick was blocked by the armor; i didn't think it was clear enough. good to know it was. /NULL

#hmm....

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1484341479))

I kick a wolf in the face with a boot. Duct-taped to a boot.

Boot to the head! Wolf killed!
+4000 XP

QUOTE (Emerald_Mann @ (time=1484407678))

I finish both sets of code at the same time, spawning a grey humanoid Virus, and a little Interface with the AI "WH0 D4R35 70 5U..." "Yeah yeah whatever, get assimilated" I throw the AIs interface at the Virus, causing the virus to absorb the AI and its intelligence, thereby making a living, intelligent virus.... this might not have been the best idea in a simulation

You make a living virus, then upgrade it!
Fortunately, the virus is just simulated within the simulation. Weird, huh? But it works.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1484408229))

Finally. I don't have to use any charges. Now, looks like there's a MiniBoss on the field. Sure, I can't get spoils from him, but this might be fun. Trickle looks at Charge-Man for a second before a hazy memory is brought up. "Hey... didn't I... didn't I make you!?" "Yeah!" "I mean..." "Before I split!" "And I gave you to this... uh... overpowered dude... what was his name again?" "Guitarplayer?" "I'm just gonna calm himself Doctor Overpowered." "So technically, I made you!" "I AM YOUR FATHER!" Charge-Man is startled and takes a few steps back. "It's time for you to meet your maker!" Trickle dashes through the Meat-Shields, slicing them in half with another weapon of his, the Asterism, a legendary sword Trickle stole from a real hero. Just like the real-life punctuation, the Asterism pauses the enemy in place. It's also made from actual asteroid rocks. This allows Trickle to dash back and forth, slicing the Meat-Shields. Once they unfreeze, he pulls out the MP35. "Time for you to chill out!" Weapon fusion! This hasn't happened in a while, has it? MP35 + The Asterism = The Comet The Asteroid is a ranged weapon that shoots accordingly to the tune you are playing, like the MP35. The Asteroid shoots little freezing ice balls, or comets, because frankly that's what a comet actually is. Trickle shoots the Meat-Shields with the Asteroid, with a relaxing-ish tune named Glue70 - Casin. "And now for the finishing blow!" Now that the Shields are frozen, he blows them up with the Shishkablam, shattering them to pieces. CHARGES ----------- Rise of the Charges - 7/20. [+1 from 1412] ETERNITY - 2/20. ----------- +2 to Battlefury. QUE IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

You charge past the meat shields and deal a wickedsick 6000 damage to Charge Man.
+8000 XP

Consumer levels up: Level 3
Combat Special unlocked: Saltmodder (basic)
1412 levels up: Level 1
Combat Special unlocked: Rumor has it (basic)
JOEbob levels up: Level 4
Combat Special unlocked: Portaltech (expert)
Limit Break unlocked: Portal Strike

The first limit break has been unlocked. Check the Rules for details on how they work.

EoTB:
The AS team starts off the round with Lonnor supplying some more of his powerful support and healing the Underknight for 5000 health.
Underknight charges towards charge man... and gets intercepted by Meat Shield 5! The meatshield takes 3000 damage... and heals charge man for the same amount!
The Seekers are hungry... and they are hungry for meat! They surge forwards and devour 3 of the ravenous wolves. Whoo, they really ARE hungry.
The Terrifying Porkchops all band together and turn on their brethren, finishing off meat shield 3. Maria chips in and KOs meat shield 5.
The Living Virus also wants to play and unleashes a swarm of 0s and 1s in a flash of code that deals a whopping 7500 damage to Meat Shield 4.
The Unholy Robots decide against attack Maria (sorry about them not guarding Charge Man, I done goofed on that Joe) because they don't have enough fire power to actually do anything, and instead lead the remainder of the Ravenous Wolves forward UNTO VICTORY and slay Lonnor, Prince of the Lonnies.
Charge Man activates his first charge! Second Ammendment! He quickly pulls out a copy of the Constituion of the United State of America and states off his right to bear arms. A pair of Republicans, answering his pleas run by and provide him with a small handgun.
The Simumodder throws the usual +4s at ire and JOEbob, and decides he doesn't really want Maria to get her stuff done, but also can't really afford to leave the current deficit of PS entities as it is. He looks at the fire orb in his inventory, and sighs. He tosses it up into the air, then blasts it with a sniper rifle, and the orb spins, jetting off fire in a massive spiral as it begins to fly around through the air as if it were a balloon filled with fire that is having the air let out of it. And then it smashes into Maria's forehead.
Boom
Fire Orb destroyed. Maria killed. 2 rounds of burning applied to all entities. Terrain changed to "Crater", 6 fire demons summoned, balrog summoned.

Everything ticks down. All entities and groups take 2500 damage, this kills the unholy robots, and for lazy rounding reasons, kills a terrifying porkchop and deals 1000 damage to all the remaining ravenous wolves.

Itinerary:
Destroy the Simumodder!
Destroy the fire monsters!
Destroy Charge Man!

Entity Advantage: [AS]

Weather: Rain (Removes 1 round of burning from any entity on the field..)
Terrain: Crater (No effect)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 97/100. Cool and New Portal Armor [A]: 2/6 charges. 5/720 cool and new stacks
Balrog [PS][Elite]: Hp: 150000/150000.
Fire Demons x6 [PS]: Hp: 25000/25000.
Charge Man [PS]: Hp: 44500/50000. 1/2 2nd Ammendment. 3/3 Prickles. 3/4 Air Support. 3/5 Medivac. 3/6 Time's Up. 3/8 Double Time. 3/15 You Deserve It.
Meat Shield 1 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Meat Shield 2 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Meat Shield 3 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Meat Shield 4 [PS]: Hp: 2500/20000.
Meat Shield 5 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Ravenous Pack of Wolves x3 [PS]: Hp: 1000/2000.
Terrifying Porkchops x6 [AS - TrickleJest]: Hp: 3000/3000.
Underknight [AS - Sp33d0n]: Hp: 19000/25000. Blackened Finale: 3/3. Light of Faith: 5/5.
Seekers of the Name x42500 [AS - Sp33d0n]: Hp: 1/1. State the Name: 2/4.
Living Virus [AS - Emerald_Mann]: Hp: 47500/50000.
Consumer [AS - Player] Hp: 4/10. Golden Sun [A]: 1/5 Ammo. And Then The Sphere Cracked: 5/7. Flesh Interfacing: 5/7. 
Hezetor [AS - Player] Hp: 10/10. 1 regen



[/spoiler]

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 15:47:00

I shoot a generic fireball at the Meat Shield. I then follow up with an attack so awesome that words can't describe it.

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 17:34:00

I scan Charge Man, and use Saltmodder - Basic on the Balrog, before embracing my horrible death and the theft of the Golden Sun.

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 18:06:00

Oho, a combat special? May as well make it flashy.

I pull out a bejeweled cane and don some fabulously fancy clothes. And then activate Rumor Has It... at chargeman.
order of the silver wossname: 7/11
(Also what's a SMAAAASH and how do you do one)

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 18:40:00

Trickle looks at the terrain.

"Crater? Seriously? Bo-ring!"

He takes out the Shishkablam and a weird cube out of his backpack.

"Welp, time to bid you farewell."

The weird cube grows into a bigger cyborg cube-object and the Shishkablam is dropped into it.
With a fizzing sound, the Shishkablam is consumed and something strange pops out instead of it.
It appears to be a spherical object, colored blue and red.
Trickle gently taps the blue side and the orb glows weirdly. He tosses the orb into the crater and something odd appears to be happening.
The orb shatters and releases ten light blue curves, each digging into the ground inside the crater. In a second, the crater becomes a light hue of blue, and in another it completely freezes over.
Ice takes over the crater and it begins to snow inside the simulation chamber.

Weather: Frostbite (Applies a round of stun to a random entity on the field. Fire entities deal half their usual damage and take 1000 damage each every turn.)

---

CHARGES
-----------
Rise of the Charges - 10/20. [+2 from Battlefury]
ETERNITY - 3/20.
-----------

+2 to Battlefury.
QUE IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 18:40:00

Alright, since a lot of people are asking, I'll explain what a SMASH is and then put it in the rules.

A SMASH is an attack that seriously impresses me, either in terms of sheer cleverness, the amount of effort put into it, or is otherwise just that creative, to the extent that I decide to push your damage values above the standard cap. They are usually devastating (Bfury's first one took down a third of charge man in one go.) BUT there is a Curse of Anti-Smash Spam. People who spam large and flashy attacks to try and achieve SMASH status will find their SMASHes being less and less powerful, even being downgraded back to a regular attack.

In short, SMASHes are a sometimes thing, don't do them frequently please.

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 20:22:00

I use Counterhappy on Chargeman.

13/20
3/20
2+ to trickle

Originally posted on 2017-01-14 21:37:00

don't worry, i won't do animations too much. the CAN P.armor is just, well, a lot of charges. (30, in fact) so I thought it was worth it.
Steffan 19/20 +3 simumodder,
12/20 Astral unlocking +1 ire +1 simumodder
+2 to ire instead so he can finish sisterhood.
someone else +2ed him i think- if so, then the +2 goes to the deal with tricklejest- if he (ire) did not just get a +2 from someone else, it goes to him
now why did the simumodder have to destroy my lovely vacation home? oh well.
Portaltech (expert) on consumer, not for damage per se, but mostly because the text is always interesting so far, and also why not?
That rain looks like it might be a biiit of a problem, so I raise my hands and it begins to flow towards me, the clouds dissolving, and I compress the water into a small orb. I throw this orb to a desert, then begin sucking all the dust nearby into a small tornado. Rain cannot form without dust and small particles floating in the air, so it will be impossible for it to rain normally for at quite a while.
I fire a burst of fire upwards, and it grows, pushing anything I may have missed away. small blue fireballs form above me, frosty blue, and what little moisture might remain is pushed upwards, too far and scattered to clump together again.
I thrust my hand forward, and the dust devil grows slowly, and begins to glow a dim purple, and I push power into it, and it becomes composed entirely of purple energy, more of it gathering, and I start to rebuild the cath-

nope.
the terrain change last turn, no Way I’d succeed. instead, I rotate the drill-like whirlwind so it points horizontally, and stick my hands forward, oriented towards consumer, and the tip brightens, a small orb of energy forming there as the tornado separates into 8 small blades, each oriented the same way as my arms. I grunt, and move my hands outwards so they are each pointing opposite, and symmetrically, directly away from my torso (like a reverse clap). Beams of light fly from all the small blades, and the orb of energy in the middle flys forward, fuelled by the beams and spinning slowly, landing a direct hit on consumer, which prefaces me "blinking" over, which involves blinking, and as you/I/whoever does so, they vanish from their position and reappear somewhere nearby or within their line of sight. the blink is so you don't throw up from the world warping. Anyway, I blink over, the blades coming with me, and swing my arm, the blades trailing after it, and knock consumer over. Then I drop my hand downwards quickly, landing all the blades in them. Having done that, I start those barriers from the last post in the places I did things in, and move them backwards in time so they are already there.

Originally posted on 2017-01-15 00:38:00

o---Charges---
Sisterhood: 18 / 20 (+6, JOE, Sim)
Care Package: 3 / 20
+1 to JOE
+1 to the Author

Marron opts to begin by scolding JOE.

tc: H-Hey! You can't just deprive me of that one extra charge point! Now I'll need to wait a turn to summon my sister and uuuuuugh.
tc: Just because we're on the same team doesn't mean I won't kick your gorilla, okay?

She then turns and yells to the Author.

tc: Author! I've given you a little gift. Now why not pay me back in turn, hm?

She then takes up her crossbow, and... shoots a simulated virus in a simulation? It's a living virus though, so maybe it works. The crossbow that was fired seems to be much larger and bulkier than the average bolt, and it's soon apparent why; thousands of little threads begin to spew out of the bolt and form around the bolt, creating a cute little puppet. Said puppet proceeds to rip the crossbow bolt that formed it out of its body, and begins stabbing the living virus.

Marron fires a few more bolts in this fashion, spawning a total of five dolls in this method. The dolls then arrange themselves in a star-shape below the Living Virus, and then throw their crossbow bolts at each other with a string attached, creating that five-point stat that most people learn how to draw in kindergarten. A circle suddenly appears, connecting every point on the star. The newly-formed pentagram flares to life, and the head of a gigantic demon rises from the earth where the pentagram is!

All five puppets then commit ritual suicide, severing the connection, and the demon's head, killing it. Marron conjures some thread to drag over the gigantic head, then rigs it up to breathe a burst of flames at the Living Virus. The head, due to Marron's rather bad rigging-demon-heads-up-to-shoot-flame skill, bursts into flames and soon vanishes.

Originally posted on 2017-01-15 08:01:00

I use Bark: Advanced on Chargeman.

16/20 2+ from ricklerest
4/20
2+ to Marron

Originally posted on 2017-01-15 12:35:00

Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter
Secondary weapon: Corpse Piercer
Tertiary weapon: Corpse Blaster
Armor: NA

FVS grins as she feels the kick of her new weapon against her body. She seems to like this newly acquired weapon of hers... Thus, she runs up to Charge Man, stuffs the tip of the Corpse Blaster barrel into his face, and presses the trigger to pump a round of shotgun shots into him point-blank. That's gotta hurt.

Aggro Spike: 4/4 USED

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a very big army of zombies arrive. To be perfectly honest with you, they're as weak as piss, but there are so many of them that it's not even funny.

Zombies: Like probably 10-20 health each or something (x Somewhere between 1700 and 850 of them)

Temporary Mutation: 5/5

Originally posted on 2017-01-15 16:02:00

Sheriff Clint Cactus grabs a stick off the ground, as well as a convenient magic sword. He repeatedly beats the Balrog with his new weapons. He jumps onto the Balrog, and a hole opens up beneath it. As they fall, he continues to attack. When they vanish into the darkness, Sheriff Clint Cactus the White returns on a giant (and extremely patriotic) eagle, who then flies off into the distance.

---

+1 to 1412, +1 to engie
Golden Lasso 6/15
Ten-Gallon Hat 6/10


Originally posted on 2017-01-15 17:15:00

o---Charges---
Sisterhood: 20 / 20 (+1, Battlefury)
Care Package: 4 / 20
+1 to JOE
+1 to Battlefury

tc: Yes!
tc: Ette! Come on over!

Ette walks onto the battlefield from a vague direction. She's a puppet, made entierly out of fabric. She's seven feet tall, with long, slender limbs that grow fatter at the ends. A simple stitched-on smile and button eyes adorns her white, circular face. She happily waves to everyone, totally unaware about the fact that she's probably about to get bashed by a bunch of rude people with murder sticks.

Ette [PS - Marron]: Hp: 100,000 / 100,000. 0/3 Bear Hug.

Abilities:
Stitch Together: Restore 8,000 HP to a target.
Self-Sow: Restore 10,000 HP to yourself.
Defensive Cuddle: Bodyguards an entity. Next turn, Ette will tank ALL hits directed at the target.
Bear Hug: Stuns the target entity for a turn.
NOTE: Ette CANNOT attack. At all. Even if she was given the ability, she wouldn't want to.

Passives:
Run Away! At 40,000 HP or less, Ette runs away and leaves the battlefield, and will simply go by Marron's side.

Ette decides that Charge Man needs some love, and uses Stitch Together on him!

Originally posted on 2017-01-16 03:53:00

Steffan 20/20 USING
13/20 Astral unlocking
New charge: Cake 2/10(?) +1 from ire
+2 to tricklejest because gotta keep up the deal
steffan charge below- if there are any issues, then obviously tell me. anything in the New tab doesn’t have a defined effect.
i might make short animations for his researches, but probably not I have too much time in the mornings.

main action
talking


Originally posted on 2017-01-16 10:11:00

I tell the Virus to attack the failed charge that used to be ravenous dogs, and is now wolves

Originally posted on 2017-01-16 14:11:00

Trickle uses TinCube's Vengeance on Balrog.
Three of the Porkchops take down the final meat shield while the other half fights Charge-Man.

---

CHARGES
-----------
Rise of the Charges - 11/20.
ETERNITY - 4/20.
-----------

+2 to Battlefury.
QUE IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

Originally posted on 2017-01-16 16:51:00

So, I'm going back and thinking. I might raise player damage a bit (and the strength of combat specials, limit breaks and the like to compensate). Charge strength would not change, this is something to change the relative strength of standard actions to charges. Thoughts?

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1484415260))

I shoot a generic fireball at the Meat Shield. I then follow up with an attack so awesome that words can't describe it.

Meat Shield 4 dispatched with extreme prejudice.
+4500 XP

QUOTE (ConsumerOfAll @ (time=1484417187))

I scan Charge Man. /placeholder

You scan charge man!
Current attack: 1000
Special AI: Will always expend the largest charge he has available
Charges:
2nd ammendment (2 charge: increases his attack by 1000 damage every time it goes off.)
Prickles (3 charge: inflicts light damage and poison on three targets).
Air Support (4 charge: summons 2 "Unmanned Aircraft", with 20K health each, airborne and very weak attack.).
Medivac (5 charge: provides light healing to all PS troops.)
Time’s Up (6 charge: revives all dead meat shields at 5000 health).
Double Time (8 charge. Gives him an extra action permanently each time it goes off.)
You Deserve It (15 charge: Charge Man self destructs in a massive lightning storm of pain for both sides.)
+2000 XP

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1484419234))

Oho, a combat special? May as well make it flashy. I pull out a bejeweled cane and don some fabulously fancy clothes. And then activate Rumor Has It... at chargeman. order of the silver wossname: 7/11 (Also what's a SMAAAASH and how do you do one)

Combat Special: Rumor Has It (basic)
You have found yourself an enemy, in a direct confrontation things will take entirely too long, so perhaps you will have to use more... subtle methods. Using your razor wit and your absurdly high persuasion stat, you set about despoiling your opponent's reputation. Even if this may not be the great fallen city of London, similar tactics will work just as well here upon the face of the surface world. Is that even a properly constructed sentence? Oh well. So you set about your goal of slanderous talk. A few words here, a piece of idle gossip there, and by the time the week is out, rumors have begun flying fast and furious, all that's left now is to set the spark. You casually saunter up to your enemy and quietly whisper to them what people have been saying. Their brain explodes from embaressment and outrage.
3000 damage to Charge man!
+5000 XP

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1484419235))

Trickle looks at the terrain. "Crater? Seriously? Bo-ring!" He takes out the Shishkablam and a weird cube out of his backpack. "Welp, time to bid you farewell." The weird cube grows into a bigger cyborg cube-object and the Shishkablam is dropped into it. With a fizzing sound, the Shishkablam is consumed and something strange pops out instead of it. It appears to be a spherical object, colored blue and red. Trickle gently taps the blue side and the orb glows weirdly. He tosses the orb into the crater and something odd appears to be happening. The orb shatters and releases ten light blue curves, each digging into the ground inside the crater. In a second, the crater becomes a light hue of blue, and in another it completely freezes over. Ice takes over the crater and it begins to snow inside the simulation chamber. Weather: Frostbite (Applies a round of stun to a random entity on the field. Fire entities deal half their usual damage and take 1000 damage each every turn.) CHARGES ----------- Rise of the Charges - 10/20. [+2 from Battlefury] ETERNITY - 3/20. ----------- +2 to Battlefury. QUE IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

The Simumodder takes a disliking to this particular action and sets you on fire in protest, disrupting your use of the box.
+3000 XP

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1484425374))

Alright, since a lot of people are asking, I'll explain what a SMASH is and then put it in the rules. A SMASH is an attack that seriously impresses me, either in terms of sheer cleverness, the amount of effort put into it, or is otherwise just that creative, to the extent that I decide to push your damage values above the standard cap. They are usually devastating (Bfury's first one took down a third of charge man in one go.) BUT there is a Curse of Anti-Smash Spam. People who spam large and flashy attacks to try and achieve SMASH status will find their SMASHes being less and less powerful, even being downgraded back to a regular attack. In short, SMASHes are a sometimes thing, don't do them frequently please.

You again!?
Get out of my update!

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1484429873))

I use Counterhappy on Chargeman. 13/20 3/20 2+ to trickle

Combat Special: Counterhappy (basic)
Well, it's time once again. You have to try and dole out large amounts of damage in a short period of time, and as a wise man once said the best offense is a good defense so you're going to take out all those skills you learned from playing as Fire Emblem characters in Smash Bros and Counter spam until the sun grows cold. You charge up to your enemy, swinging your sword wildly and screaming at the top of your lungs. You smack into them a few times, until they get tired and throw a large attack at you dealing a massive amount of "COUNTERED" you get that super satisfying but obnoxiously shrill screaming noise Smash Bros gives you whenever you hit someone for way too much damage, then shade your eyes as you watch your opponent fly into the distance under the power of their own attack.
3000 damage to charge man
+5000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1484440711))

don't worry, i won't do animations too much. the CAN P.armor is just, well, a lot of charges. (30, in fact) so I thought it was worth it. Steffan 19/20 +3 simumodder, 12/20 Astral unlocking +1 ire +1 simumodder +2 to ire instead so he can finish sisterhood. someone else +2ed him i think- if so, then the +2 goes to the deal with tricklejest- if he (ire) did not just get a +2 from someone else, it goes to him now why did the simumodder have to destroy my lovely vacation home? oh well. Portaltech (expert) on consumer, not for damage per se, but mostly because the text is always interesting so far, and also why not? That rain looks like it might be a biiit of a problem, so I raise my hands and it begins to flow towards me, the clouds dissolving, and I compress the water into a small orb. I throw this orb to a desert, then begin sucking all the dust nearby into a small tornado. Rain cannot form without dust and small particles floating in the air, so it will be impossible for it to rain normally for at quite a while. I fire a burst of fire upwards, and it grows, pushing anything I may have missed away. small blue fireballs form above me, frosty blue, and what little moisture might remain is pushed upwards, too far and scattered to clump together again. I thrust my hand forward, and the dust devil grows slowly, and begins to glow a dim purple, and I push power into it, and it becomes composed entirely of purple energy, more of it gathering, and I start to rebuild the cath- nope. the terrain change last turn, no Way I’d succeed. instead, I rotate the drill-like whirlwind so it points horizontally, and stick my hands forward, oriented towards consumer, and the tip brightens, a small orb of energy forming there as the tornado separates into 8 small blades, each oriented the same way as my arms. I grunt, and move my hands outwards so they are each pointing opposite, and symmetrically, directly away from my torso (like a reverse clap). Beams of light fly from all the small blades, and the orb of energy in the middle flys forward, fuelled by the beams and spinning slowly, landing a direct hit on consumer, which prefaces me "blinking" over, which involves blinking, and as you/I/whoever does so, they vanish from their position and reappear somewhere nearby or within their line of sight. the blink is so you don't throw up from the world warping. Anyway, I blink over, the blades coming with me, and swing my arm, the blades trailing after it, and knock consumer over. Then I drop my hand downwards quickly, landing all the blades in them. Having done that, I start those barriers from the last post in the places I did things in, and move them backwards in time so they are already there.

Actually, it only had the equivalent power of about 20, as upgrades are half strength. That's still a lot, true.
Also, you should really stop splitting your actions like this. A split action is almost never going to successfully pull off "unusual" effects like terrain or weather change.
Finally, you can't +1 the simumodder, he has no use for charge points!
That being said,

Combat Special: Portaltech (expert)
Now, continuing in instructing others on how to use portals, portals can also augment ranged attacks. Observe as you take out this extremely powerful longbow. It isn't a regular bow ofcourse, it's specially enchanted to increase the power of all fired arrows in a small but dangerous collection of ways. That's not what's important. You ready your bow, and your opponent braces themselves... the arrows fly in every direction... every direction except, of course, that of your opponent. They look at you with a confused expression. You smile and snap your fingers. Portals open up in front of all the arrows, the other ends of the portals opening up in various positions around your opponent, promptly turning them into a pincushion.
1 damage to consumer.
Unfortunately, your split action prevents your raincheck from being successful.
+6000 XP

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1484467315))

o---Charges--- Sisterhood: 18 / 20 (+6, JOE, Sim) Care Package: 3 / 20 +1 to JOE +1 to the Author Marron opts to begin by scolding JOE. tc: H-Hey! You can't just deprive me of that one extra charge point! Now I'll need to wait a turn to summon my sister and uuuuuugh. tc: Just because we're on the same team doesn't mean I won't kick your gorilla, okay? She then turns and yells to the Author. tc: Author! I've given you a little gift. Now why not pay me back in turn, hm? She then takes up her crossbow, and... shoots a simulated virus in a simulation? It's a living virus though, so maybe it works. The crossbow that was fired seems to be much larger and bulkier than the average bolt, and it's soon apparent why; thousands of little threads begin to spew out of the bolt and form around the bolt, creating a cute little puppet. Said puppet proceeds to rip the crossbow bolt that formed it out of its body, and begins stabbing the living virus. Marron fires a few more bolts in this fashion, spawning a total of five dolls in this method. The dolls then arrange themselves in a star-shape below the Living Virus, and then throw their crossbow bolts at each other with a string attached, creating that five-point stat that most people learn how to draw in kindergarten. A circle suddenly appears, connecting every point on the star. The newly-formed pentagram flares to life, and the head of a gigantic demon rises from the earth where the pentagram is! All five puppets then commit ritual suicide, severing the connection, and the demon's head, killing it. Marron conjures some thread to drag over the gigantic head, then rigs it up to breathe a burst of flames at the Living Virus. The head, due to Marron's rather bad rigging-demon-heads-up-to-shoot-flame skill, bursts into flames and soon vanishes.

Ouch. That's brutal. 5000 damage.
+7000 XP

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1484483719))

I use Bark: Advanced on Chargeman. 16/20 2+ from ricklerest 4/20 2+ to Marron

Combat Special: Woof (Advanced)
It's time for a right dogging of your enemy. You move forward towards your opponent, and as they look at you, wary of what you might do next, you look up into the sky, noticing the full moon (wait wasn't it like, the middle of the day a second ago?). You howl up into the sky, and begin convulsing, your enemy cowering in fear as you complete your transformation into a were-dog. A horrifying fluffy and friendly monstrosity. You proceed to jump up onto your opponent, yipping like mad and demanding love and affection. you run around on top of them and make a mess of their face, their clothes, of THEM. And finally, as the moon ducks behind the clouds, you resume your regular shape, stalking away into the night as if the horrors that just transpired never happened.
3500 damage to Charge Man
+5500 XP

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1484496178))

Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter Secondary weapon: Corpse Piercer Tertiary weapon: Corpse Blaster Armor: NA FVS grins as she feels the kick of her new weapon against her body. She seems to like this newly acquired weapon of hers... Thus, she runs up to Charge Man, stuffs the tip of the Corpse Blaster barrel into his face, and presses the trigger to pump a round of shotgun shots into him point-blank. That's gotta hurt. Aggro Spike: 4/4 USED Suddenly, out of nowhere, a very big army of zombies arrive. To be perfectly honest with you, they're as weak as piss, but there are so many of them that it's not even funny. Zombies: Like probably 10-20 health each or something (x Somewhere between 1700 and 850 of them) Temporary Mutation: 5/5

4000 damage to Charge Man!
You summon 1200 zombies with 15 health each!
+6000 XP

QUOTE (Urus @ (time=1484500558))

Sheriff Clint Cactus grabs a stick off the ground, as well as a convenient magic sword. He repeatedly beats the Balrog with his new weapons. He jumps onto the Balrog, and a hole opens up beneath it. As they fall, he continues to attack. When they vanish into the darkness, Sheriff Clint Cactus the White returns on a giant (and extremely patriotic) eagle, who then flies off into the distance. +1 to 1412, +1 to engie Golden Lasso 6/15 Ten-Gallon Hat 6/10

4000 damage to the balrog! Sheriff Clint Cactus the White, huh? No way that could be relevant later.
+6000 XP

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1484538812))

o---Charges--- Sisterhood: 20 / 20 (+1, Battlefury) Care Package: 4 / 20 +1 to JOE +1 to Battlefury tc: Yes! tc: Ette! Come on over! Ette walks onto the battlefield from a vague direction. She's a puppet, made entierly out of fabric. She's seven feet tall, with long, slender limbs that grow fatter at the ends. A simple stitched-on smile and button eyes adorns her white, circular face. She happily waves to everyone, totally unaware about the fact that she's probably about to get bashed by a bunch of rude people with murder sticks. Ette [PS - Marron]: Hp: 100,000 / 100,000. 0/3 Bear Hug. Abilities: Stitch Together: Restore 8,000 HP to a target. Self-Sow: Restore 10,000 HP to yourself. Defensive Cuddle: Bodyguards an entity. Next turn, Ette will tank ALL hits directed at the target. Bear Hug: Stuns the target entity for a turn. NOTE: Ette CANNOT attack. At all. Even if she was given the ability, she wouldn't want to. Passives: Run Away! At 40,000 HP or less, Ette runs away and leaves the battlefield, and will simply go by Marron's side. Ette decides that Charge Man needs some love, and uses Stitch Together on him!

Ette summoned

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1484561510))

Steffan 20/20 USING 13/20 Astral unlocking New charge: Cake 2/10(?) +1 from ire +2 to tricklejest because gotta keep up the deal steffan charge below- if there are any issues, then obviously tell me. anything in the New tab doesn’t have a defined effect. i might make short animations for his researches, but probably not I have too much time in the mornings. Spoiler Alert Steffan Activating stefans specials, gimmicks, and stats in general: his hp is ok, but lower then his charge suggests. special: energy shield generator 1/2; generates an energy field, pretty much marias shroud now that i think about it. attack- nill. any charges to grant him attack without it being a research will fail, no exceptions. can use artifacts, but straight damage artifacts are apparently hard to balance, so it still won't give him a normal attack. research system: +1 RP per turn. RP can be used on Learning new abilitys (New section) or using known abilitys (Learned section). balance as necessary, of course New: >minimecha 3RP >TickTock 3RP > J.O. R.D.A.N. 5RP Learned: >Extradimensional bag 5RP if steffan somehow lives 5 turns And doesn’t run out of research, I will be impressed/surprised- effect increases his RP speed and gives him a slight dodge chance, one use unless destroyed. >Void shield 1RP defensive shield- option A)only blocks attacks that deal over 1/6 of steffans HP, will always block one attack OR Option b) a stronger variant of energy shield generator >Every-source beam 1RP [can use any game resource to fire, including charges and XP,- if too op, just ignore the whole thing research] >Heal sentry- 0 RP- 2 HP sentry bot entity with 2 HP, takes normal damage. heals one entity as its action. [his only 0RP action] Can only research or use one thing a turn, so if he uses H.sentry, he can't also learn J.O.R.D.A.N. or use Extradimensional bag in the same turn. generates RP before his action. he can only learn and use these things- further thingys will need to be charged- that is, anything not listed now will require a charge to add. i have steffan use Heal sentry and direct the sentry to heal him if he is hurt at this point, otherwise sisterhoods entity, otherwise if they are also unhurt, he heals the balrog looks like I had too much free time this morning. thats a heal turret. main action Spoiler Alert acting after the other players if their action is not waiting for me in some way, I take out a gold and red knife, and start using blink as fast as possible, nicking every enemy entity and most players with the knife, dealing 0 damage because hurting them would dilute the attack. having absorbed their life signature and energy imprint, I draw a circle around balrog with my blood, and take out the legendary weapon: really Bloody stick. I use the really bloody stick to activate the circle thing, healing balrog via the powers of a vampire poppet, and start going on a quest for the white t'miat rose which can heal any injury, sickness,or curse. after many hours of climbing the mountain, grabbing yellow fruits and purple japlanos, I manage to reach the Summit, where the rose lays. I jump for joy! I can save charge man! and then the wind pushes me off the edge because I jumped. after a whole lot of grumbling and yelling "you can get knocked off the top of the mountain while your jumping because of the wind! 1/10 stars, but i would give it -10 if i could!!!1!", I climb the mountain again, this time being extra careful not to jump. I grab the t'miat rose and realise with dismay i could have portaled. and my 3 hours of work were for nothing. sighing, I return to the battlefield and feed balrog a soup made from t'miat rose, chancy egg, red potion, blood orb, and food, AFTER checking for poisons. an attempt on bobs healing that probably didn’t matter but might have costed his life has left me suspicious. if there is any potion I inject the Underknight with it. I raise my hand, and a green outline forms next to me. the outline, shaped like a generic mech, walks over to balrog and opens an outline hatch, which balrog is then levitated into. the mech heals balrog, dimming as it does so, until the mech-outline is gray, and slowly lowers balrog to the ground.  talking Spoiler Alert JOE: Hi ette! JOE: welllll.... JOE: i don't actually have much to say here. JOE:soooo... Steffan: Hello *they then proceed to... talk or something, maybe. JOE: Yes! I’m free of this awkward situation! JOE: byeeeeee

hoo boy.
Please give me the stats for his three unlockable abilities now, or at least as soon as possible.
Entity sheet as yours was rather unreadable:
Hp: 60000
energy shield generator: 2 round charge, summons a 5000 hit point energy shield to bodyblock him.
Attack: None (lotta no-attack entities lately, huh?)
RP system: gains 1 Research Point every round, and can use them to unlock new abilities.
Unlocked abilities:
Heal Sentry: summons a weak 2000 hit point healing sentry which heals other entities as its action. Expends 0 RP
Void Shield: Will intercept the strongest incoming attack that round. Expends 1 RP (changed to make it not OP)
Extradimensional Bag: doubles RP collection speed and gives Steffan 10% dodge chance. 5 RP, one use.
Unlockable abilities:
Minimecha (3RP):
TickTock (3RP):
J.O.R.D.A.N. (5RP):
Nice entity idea though! This is pretty neat.
Sadly, you can't "act after everyone else" but you still get roughly your action's worth when you heal the balrog back to full health.
+6000 XP

QUOTE (Emerald_Mann @ (time=1484575869))

I tell the Virus to attack the failed charge that used to be ravenous dogs, and is now wolves

Living Virus will attack the wolves

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1484585485))

Trickle uses TinCube's Vengeance on Balrog. Three of the Porkchops take down the final meat shield while the other half fights Charge-Man. CHARGES ----------- Rise of the Charges - 11/20. ETERNITY - 4/20. ----------- +2 to Battlefury. QUE IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

Combat Special: TinCube's Vengeance (basic)
You pull out the souljar that contains TinCube's essence. A single, dramatic tear rolls down your face. TinCube was a true friend, he into faced anyone you needed him to, but when he needed it most, you weren't able to save him... your biggest regret in life is... wotsthat? Why's the jar shaking? You gasp as TinCube's soul pops the lid off of the jar and flies around in circles. TINCUBE LIIIIIIIIVESSS And is also very angry at your opponents. Being dead means you have to take that rage out somehow because you can't do it with glands anymore, so TinCube fires a high-powered soul laser before disgruntledly going back into its soul jar and back to sleep.
3000 damage to the Balrog.
+5000 XP

Ire levels up: Level 1
Combat Special Unlocked: Puppeteers' Strings

EoTB:
First thing the Living Virus does is massacre some wolves. It then finds that its turn is not yet completely spent, so it opts to blow out 4000 damage on charge man.
The porkchops, lacking a meatshield to attack, all charge into charge man as well, dealing 3000 damage.
The Underknight also expresses its displeasure with charge man, and mounts an attack that deals 4000 damage. The Seekers of the name smell blood, and follow suit with everyone else, dealing 4250 damage.
The zombies decide to go for the man who they think looks like an easier target... and deal 2500 damage to steffan. Add stupid to their list of traits.
Ette rushes over to charge man and against his protests stitches his face back together. "Oh wow this actually doesn't hurt at all how does that work." 8000 health restored.
Steffan gets his RP point, then doesn't spend it and instead makes a healing turret which restores 1000 hit points to him.
Charge man has another charge raring and ready to go, and expends PRICKLES
He slams his hands down into the ground, and a mass of vines and plant matter roll out through the ground, sending up large ripples and small rocks in every direction.
Suddenly, massive thorns roll up out of the ground, hitting the terrifying porkchops, underknight and living virus, dealing 3000 to each (killing a porkchop) and inflicting them with poison for 3 rounds.
The fire demons then completely invalidate one of those poison inflictions by wiping out the terrifying porkchops. The Balrog roars and smashes through the seekers of the name, killing 10000 of the poor buggers.
The Simumodder is recuperating from the first artifact usage, and so, by GM mandate to give the players a break, doesn't act this round. Oh yeah, and he hands out the +4s to ire and joe

Everything ticks up this round, all things with poison lose 2000 hit points.

Itinerary:
Regain the entity advantage!
Destroy the fire monsters!
Destroy Charge Man!

Entity Advantage: [PS]

Weather: Rain (Removes 1 round of burning from any entity on the field..)
Terrain: Crater (No effect)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 97/100. Cool and New Portal Armor [A]: 3/6 charges. 10/720 cool and new stacks
Balrog [PS][Elite]: Hp: 147000/150000.
Fire Demons x6 [PS]: Hp: 25000/25000.
Charge Man [PS]: Hp: 23750/50000. 2/2 2nd Ammendment. 1/3 Prickles. 4/4 Air Support. 4/5 Medivac. 4/6 Time's Up. 4/8 Double Time. 4/15 You Deserve It.
Meat Shield 1 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Meat Shield 2 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Meat Shield 3 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Meat Shield 4 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Meat Shield 5 [PS]: Hp: 0/20000.
Ette [PS - Ire]: Hp: 100000 / 100000. 1/3 Bear Hug.
Steffan [PS - Joebob]: Hp: 58500/60000. 1 RP. Energy shield generator: 1/2
Healing Turret [PS - Joebob]: Hp: 2000/2000
Underknight [AS - Sp33d0n]: Hp: 14000/25000. Blackened Finale: 3/3. Light of Faith: 5/5. Poisoined 2 rounds
Seekers of the Name x32500 [AS - Sp33d0n]: Hp: 1/1. State the Name: 3/4.
Living Virus [AS - Emerald_Mann]: Hp: 37500/50000. Poisoned 2 rounds.
Zombies x1200 [AS - engie]: Hp: 15/15
Consumer [AS - Player] Hp: 3/10. Golden Sun [A]: 1/5 Ammo. And Then The Sphere Cracked: 6/7. Flesh Interfacing: 6/7.
Hezetor [AS - Player] Hp: 10/10. 1 regen



[/spoiler]

Originally posted on 2017-01-16 17:27:00

"Hey! You! Ruby ripoff who knows Auth! Stop bullying my teammates into giving charges to you, hm?"

"woah terrible and old ally just remembered to be offended now ette is going to horribly die "

"Shush, no spoilers! As I was saying, how about I hurt your dearest sister?" Alicia says, salt pouring next to her. As you may have noticed, Ette is not going to get the luxury of living.

Alicia picks up the Golden Sun, before activating Saltmodder - Basic, and firing. She seems to be half-[REDACTED FOR POBYO SENSIBILITIES]ing this?

She then reloads the Golden Sun via Reloading for You. Suddenly a caricature of Pobyo walks in.

"wait youe action has to be decent to reload to full"
This caricature of Pobyo is cool and new, and thus Alcia immediately cannibalises it, before slowly taking out the elements of Piono's OPness.

For example, we have Elecom Elemental Control Blood, blood infused and given to rich men in Universe 8273 desperate for power to give them minor control of elements, and actually to induct them into the Illuminati, with the Illuminati portion diluted with copious amounts of Mind Cheese, which cheeses bosses, and mixed in with Liquid OP.

A little girl walks in, picking up a teddy bear.

"Sowwy. I misplaced mai fillertech teddy."

Alicia stares at her. The little girl starts crying, streams of tears falling down and mixing in with the Extracted OPness, before Alcia throws in a bunch of rye infested with ergot, and puts it into the Golden Sun.

---

Alicia uses the Golden Sun and Saltmodder on Ette.
Reloading for You, Reloading for N00bs [10/10] COMPLETE, used to reload the Golden Sun.
Broken Coalition [1/15]

Originally posted on 2017-01-16 19:23:00