Sheriff Clint Cactus suddenly materializes in the middle of the fight.

"Now what'n tarnation jus' happened?"

He looks at the Simumodder.

"Well, I reckon you mus' be the one wakin' snakes round these parts."

Sheriff Clint lassos the Evil Hippies.

---

Charges:

Trusty Steed: 1/5
High Noon: 1/10

Originally posted on 2016-12-21 22:24:00

you can only charge up to 10 right now
/NULL

Originally posted on 2016-12-21 23:25:00

*micbs has joined the game!
wait. wheres my dramatic- EXPLOSION
Oh, there it is. a moment to late though, what a waste.
I punch the simumodder in the simuface
The explosion didn't do anything. it was in my pocket the whole time. sorta sucks, really

1/3 Spiked paragoomba



Originally posted on 2016-12-21 23:42:00

You dopped. Right before I woke up. Good timing, Piono.

Hi! I'm The Author! What's your name?

Auth bows to Alicia, considering it courtesy.

Auth then turns to the Evil Hippies, and aims Inkscalibur at them.

Well now. Let's see how this affects you!

A vein in Inkscalibur glows with a bright orange. The six remaining veins dim.

Now, now. Back away, before I'm forced to reveal how you die.

The Evil Hippies don't back off, obviously. So Auth swings his blade in a wide arc, leaving a trail of glowing, bright ink. It flies at a bunch of the hippies, covering their faces. All they see now is the many, many ways they can die. This causes extreme depression and self harm.

You stand against me, and what you see is what could happen to you. I highly recommend you go away, before any of these things happen to you.

ACTION SUMMARY:

Auth weaponizes Cosmogone against the Evil Hippies.

SPECIAL ATTACKS:

CRUSADE OF THE LOST: 3/10 (+1 from Consumer)

SEEKERS OF THE NAME: 3/10 (+1 from Trickle)

+1 to Consumer

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 02:18:00

I choose to stop focusing my attacks on the simumodder, and look at the highest hp entity the High Liberal

I fly to the high liberal, a gleam in my smokey grey eyes.
he!!0.
the High Liberal looks at me. and a dagger is shoved through his back, making everything below the contact point useless.
The dagger was laced with poisoin.

2/3 Spiked paragoomba

1/5 "Door opener"

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 03:02:00

It is at this point that a woman proceeds to appear in the simulation. She seems to have white hair, white skin, green eyes, a black shirt, and a yellow coat and pair of pants. She glances around for a moment or two.

"Shit, where am I?"

She also does not look like she belongs in the simulation at all. She does seem capable of defending herself, at the very least, so that's something. But something about the way she's frowning indicates she isn't entirely used to the current situation, and also happens to have no idea what on earth is going on. She proceeds to whip out a revolver that honestly looks like it was made of the bodyparts of an unfortunate zombie. Then, the woman in yellow curses.

"Only a Corpse Shooter to rely on? This is gonna suck, even with those upgrades the weird guy gave it..."



Fairview Survivor (FVS) has appeared. As she fights, she'll start unlocking some heavier firepower from the Dead Frontier world, albeit modified. One of the things about her is that her health is, annoyingly, not measured in solid numbers. Instead, well... 100% is Perfect, 99-75% is Healthy, 74-50% is Injured, 49-25% is Wounded, 24-1% is Critical, 0% is DEAD.

FVS
Status: Perfect
Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter
Secondary weapon: NA
Tertiary weapon: NA
Armor: NA

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 07:12:00

After performing an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle and destroying the hippies, Trickle moves on to the High Liberal.

"Now, I don't know much about politics, but..."
"I can tell you're in some dire need of pure, unadulterated DESTROYING!"

He walks up to the High Liberal, gives him a nice slap on the face, before whistling.
Why did he whistle, you're asking?
Oh.
You'll see.

The High Liberal is startled by some heavy footsteps.
Getting louder.
And louder.
And...
Louder...
Until...

It's a stampede of giant red n' blue fucking republican elephants! The High Liberal's only weakness!
The elephants stomp all over him, and summon their leader, the elephant from This Is The Only Level, Achievement Unlocked, etc., except he's also a republican, for some reason. (He's not an actual summon). The elephant then smashes the High Liberal with its tusks, piercing his skin and stabbing him. The Liberal bleeds out and dies, obviously.

Trickle thanks the elephants for their service and they run away. Into the sunset. Yay.

CHARGES
-----------
Hammer of the Bound - 7/10
Tin Can - 3/10
-----------

+1 to JoeBob.
{Queue: Speed, Consommé, Joe} [SUBJECT TO CHANGE]

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 10:36:00

Alicia has always found it easier to pick on the weak. Code Alicia is no exception. This means that although the Simumodder is currently vulnerable, Alicia will ignore him (though let's be honest I want to redefine him to a simulation of the Simurgh that is a godmodder), as she wants delicious and beautiful XP, and it's easier to get XP from an entity than trying to hit the Simumodder even though the latter is the aim of the game and Alicia is committing bad practise.

As such, she walks over to one, and only one, Dank Weed Abomination. DWA. She flips the A and the W, the alpha and a letter that vaguely resembles omega. DAW, dalet - alef - vav* - cuteness. The attacked Dank Weed Abomination suddenly becomes explicably attractive, cute, babylike, everything that humanity wants to hug and adore and protect. As this is a simulation, this breaking of physics is somewhat easier by setting cuteness in the adjectives list to "true".

A Dank Weed Abomination, of course, should not be cute for many reasons. It is an Abomination, and Abominations are things that humanity wants to destroy, not protect, everything that is wrong and disgusting and perverted and aberrant. Second, it is comprised of Dank Weed, and government and megacorporate Watchdogs as such see that Weed is Bad, capital BET. Dankness is of course also a Very Bad Thing, capital VAV-BET-TAV, according to the megacorporate arbiters of Alicia's world, arbiters that she has a massive level of control of, being the emulation of a daughter of a CEO of one of the very greatest megacorporations, Epsilion Alpha.

Now, Very Bad Things are like the monsters in the dark, and portraying themselves as good and attractive is an Even Worse Thing. All of this comes together to cause many, many dogs to warp into the simulation, darkness seeping into their form, eyes compounded onto eyes, and eyes, always watching lurking seeing working, noses similar. They see the Dank Weed Abomination and they sniff it out, before they call their guardians, Watchmen, similarly seeped in a darkness.

The Dank Weed Abomination goes wide eyed in fear, before the Watchmen and Watchdogs walk closer, and closer, stepping forth, baton out, ready to cut and smash and impact and kill. They run forward and the Dank Weed Abomination is savaged for being a Very Bad Thing in a brief and vague way because we want to cut down on longposts and not lengthen them and these posts really aren't help cut down on them and are instead just a merciless method for Alicia to jump up on the Echeladder.


* Hebrews have no W, and from my experience in Latin I know that V in the past was used to pronounce a w sound, as such dalet - alef - vav. Misinterpreting symbology with Consomme, people.

---

Beginner's Artifice [2/10] [+1 from Speed]
The Mayor Is [6/10] [+1 from Trickle]
+1 to Hezetor (next up, Toast, Speed, Trickle)

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 14:59:00

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1482346327))

I won't call that a flashy entrance. Big, yes, but certainly not flashy enough for my tastes. Anyway, I forgot to specify that the binding slabs do not do anything for now, even when activated. I had all these plans where I'd charge things that made them useful, but if you want me to charge the Hammer, too, I'm up for that. I convert the 'Tin Can' charge to the 'Hammer of the Bound' charge, and the 'Bane of the Pobyos' becomes the 'Tin Can' charge. Trickle's Hammer is suddenly removed. "Hey, give that back!" "Frk..." "I'll have you know that I got the sword from the mighty demi-God... errr... Plebeus!" "It was one of my most heroic ventures." "I slayed him with a sword as sharp as the sharpest needle!" "He put up a fight, that fella..." "But I obviously won, what with my excellence and everything." "Slayed him by myself, of course." "I always go solo." "That's how I roll!" "Heroes don't need teammates!" Trickle then continues to say the fakest and most boring story in the multiverse, telling "tales about his heroism" and how he "evidently rescued the universe" and all that shit. "Alright, I know all of y'all are intrigued and everything by my amazing stories, but I gotta do some destroying up in this bitch!" "(Do people even say that anymore?)" "(Fuck... I think I just embarrassed myself for the first time...)" First time? Really?! This is at least the millionth time! This guy is obviously oblivious to all obligatory obstacles obfuscating his so-called "heroism". I know that didn't make sense. But everyone knows. That alliterations. Are fucking cool. I'm obviously forcefully expending my vocabulary here. "Time to teach these "hippies" what I'm really made of!" Trickle runs over to the hippies and offers them some new indie underground drug. The hippies obviously agree and swallow all the pills. All of them. [ARBITRARY HOMESTUCK REFERENCE] Little do they know that the drug is secretly corrupted by a chemical that paralyzes anyone and everyone that it comes in contact with. By the time the drug dissolves the daring hippies suffer from dysentery and diarrhea and fall down on the spot. "Hehehe... I'm gonna have some fun with you..." "Oh, shit, I don't mean that kind of fun." "I'm not a necrophiliac!" Trickle then takes off his orange backpack and searches through the available weapon pool. "If I can't bind enemies, I'm gonna find something else..." To his surprise, the simulation could only simulate a few of his weapons, and the rest are simply... evaporated? Anyway, Trickle decides to take another one of his signature weapons, the MP35. It's a fusion of an MP3 and an MP5, using the power of MUSIX to slay foes. "Now it's time to jam out!" "(Crap, I should really stop using outdated lingo...)" "(Ack! Not again!)" Trickle chooses one of his favorite songs, Killed By Br8k Spider!!!!!!! and shoots a special bullet for every note. Each bullet has a special effect, and the fast paced song leaves the hippies spazzing out on the floor. Nice. Trickle then grabs the hippies, stabs them all together with another one of his weapons, lining them up like a shishkabob, before the they're launched into the air along with a giant Bob-Omb, which causes them all to explode in the air. The weapon isn't called the 'Shishkablam' for nothing. The explosion creates a beautiful barrage of vast colors. Most of the colors being shades of red. Cause. Ya know. Blood. "Ah. Perfection." "Looks like my heroism payed out again." Trickle's ego then grows exponentially. Yeah. The corpse of the hippies falls down at break-neck speed. Not that their necks aren't already snapped into fifty parts. Trickle decides that even if they ARE dead, they could be revived, and he has to completely exterminate their corpse so no trace of these 80s parasites would be left. ~ WEAPON FUSION! ~ All of Trickle's weapons have a special weapon fusion function in them. MP35 + Shishkablam! The result is none other than the EMP35, basically a musical gun that shoots EMP Bob-Ombs. Yes. The hippies are secretly robots. The EMP Bob-Ombs completely obliterate them, leaving nothing there. Not even ash. Not even the slightest particle. The hippies are gone. Forever. And ever. "God, I really fucking hate hippies." The weapons unfuse and Trickle puts 'em back in his backpack. Violence for the win! CHARGES ----------- Hammer of the Bound - 6/10 [+2 from Joe, +1 from Consumer, +1 from Joe] Tin Can - 2/10 ----------- +1 to Consommé. {Queue: Joe, Speed, Consommé} [SUBJECT TO CHANGE]

You prove once and for all that violence may not always be THE answer, but it certainly is a good one!
Your astonishingly brutal onslaught instantly kills two hippies.
+12000 XP

That's too much XP.

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1482348768))

OH! Second announcement I forgot to make in the above post! Everyone now only gets a single +1 every post. This is just for now, as soon as the charge cap gets raised it'll go back to two.

What are you doing in my update past me. You didn't even remember to null your post!

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1482350692))

Perceptual shift 2/10 PERCEPTUAL state 3/10 +1 from tricklejest i think he +1ed me twice? so 3/10 for both of them? +1* tricklejest I wonder how the shrubbery could have stopped that attack when i walked over to simumodder before attacking, so it shouldn't have been in the way. oh well. this time, noticing the lack of shrubery, I calmly take off my shoes and put on some strange bootlike shoes,and a chest-piece with several glowing lines, followed by insert a crystal into a slot, which glitters and seems to almost shift visually when you look into it, followed by retrieving a sword, this one bloody red and perceptually dripping, Before vanishing. 1/7 of a second later, the Simumodder feels a sharp pain in his backside, taking several glancing blows as i dash by with my blade, before i stop behind him, lifting my blade, the crystal and chest-piece glowing and an orb of strange liquid forms, before i once more dash around, this time trailing my blade on the ground as i circle him, marking the ground blood-red in an intricate pattern, before I dash by, shedding his blood in the circle. it glows, revealing some blue runes on the ground, forming a cage around me and him. he can no longer run. I place my hand on the ground, and the machine-like substance of my breastplate "flows" down to the ground, beginning to cover it. the crystal from before falls from my chest, and i catch it in my other hand. I thrust my hand sideways, and a blue light emanates. I scythe forms in my hand, and I initiate combat with the Simumodder, fighting him in an unorthodox way that relies on sudden bursts of speed, dealing several glancing blows, forcing him to the edge of the circle, where he receives a nasty shock, as the circle rejects his contact, harming him. i backpedal for .16 of a second, reaching the other end while he's still disoriented, and retrieve my signature weapons, A enchanted pickaxe, A glistening disk, and a sickle, dropping the disc to the ground, where it hits a button and activates a hidden feature in the machine-like floor, with 4 spikes rising out of the ground. one problem: the machine has no power source. i solve that by dropping my light-scythe, the crystalline source being assimilated, and powering the machine. it activates, restricting the Simumodder's movements even more, before the disc floats into the air, and begins zipping around the room, distracting him and landing the occasional hit, while i run forward and begin striking him with my pickaxe, before i embed it in his stomach, and switch to the sickle. i thrust it sideways, keeping it in my hand, before time warps and another me appears, and we both dash forward, him firing a cannon embedded in his left arm while striking quickly with a small dagger, and I slicing quickly with the sickle, while the Simumodder  is slowed by the relic. i then leap back, warping to the past to become my future self. after i go back in time, I take out an intricately carved dagger and katana, the dagger glowing green on strike, while the katana releases bursts of energy whenever it lands a hit, before the technological restricted fails and the Simumodder reacts, probably retaliating at me, before suddenly his weapon is powered through by my kattana, and i yank the pickaxe from his chest, distracting him  while the disk moves in, slicing his legs before morphing to envelop his neck, when I slash my kattana downwards and it strikes the ground, exploding and sending a shock-wave forward which knocks him off his feet, before i throw the dagger at him, and both the kattana and dagger glow brightly before shattering, and the dome around us vanishes, the disk spinning quickly and cutting at his neck. as this happens, i ask if he rewards or aids his followers, leaving after 1) he answers or 2) 32 seconds pass.

That's the magic of shrubbery.
Unfortunately for you, the Simumodder is skilled enough to handle this barrage. As you discover when your first strike completely fails to punch through his armor. He stands there, arms splayed out as you smash your sword into him repeatedly, score exactly 0 damaging strikes. You set up the circle... which he proceeds to punch you through, causing YOU get to get zapped by it, and zapped by it so much that the barrier shatters and you lie on the ground twitching and emitting static for a few seconds.
"As for your question, this is all a simulation, any and all rewards would be in the form of fighting boosts. We hope you haven't forgotten that so quickly."
+6000 XP (4000 added because the attack was pretty cool, even if it got nosold.

QUOTE (Urus @ (time=1482359053))

Sheriff Clint Cactus suddenly materializes in the middle of the fight. "Now what'n tarnation jus' happened?" He looks at the Simumodder. "Well, I reckon you mus' be the one wakin' snakes round these parts." Sheriff Clint lassos the Evil Hippies. Charges: Trusty Steed: 1/5 High Noon: 1/10

You lasso an evil hippie, dealing 3000 damage.
+5000 XP.

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1482359527))

I spam rockets at everything that isn't AS.

You deal 500 damage to the three Dank Week Abominations
+3500 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1482362757))

you can only charge up to 10 right now /NULL

Indeed.

QUOTE (micbs @ (time=1482363735))

*micbs has joined the game! wait. wheres my dramatic- EXPLOSION Oh, there it is. a moment to late though, what a waste. I punch the simumodder in the simuface The explosion didn't do anything. it was in my pocket the whole time. sorta sucks, really 1/3 Spiked paragoomba

Your pocket explodes and then so does your fist.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1482373127))

You dopped. Right before I woke up. Good timing, Piono. Hi! I'm The Author! What's your name? Auth bows to Alicia, considering it courtesy. Auth then turns to the Evil Hippies, and aims Inkscalibur at them. Well now. Let's see how this affects you! A vein in Inkscalibur glows with a bright orange. The six remaining veins dim. Now, now. Back away, before I'm forced to reveal how you die. The Evil Hippies don't back off, obviously. So Auth swings his blade in a wide arc, leaving a trail of glowing, bright ink. It flies at a bunch of the hippies, covering their faces. All they see now is the many, many ways they can die. This causes extreme depression and self harm. You stand against me, and what you see is what could happen to you. I highly recommend you go away, before any of these things happen to you. ACTION SUMMARY: Auth weaponizes Cosmogone against the Evil Hippies. SPECIAL ATTACKS: CRUSADE OF THE LOST: 3/10 (+1 from Consumer) SEEKERS OF THE NAME: 3/10 (+1 from Trickle) +1 to Consumer

I try! ((I tried to do an ASCII derpface but I failed, so you don't get one. Sorry.))
All of the evil hippies undergo a fair amount of mental torture, and take 500 damage before they're able to drug themselves up enough to dull the pain. 500 damage to all but the damaged hippie.
+5500 XP

QUOTE (micbs @ (time=1482375767))

I choose to stop focusing my attacks on the simumodder, and look at the highest hp entity the High Liberal I fly to the high liberal, a gleam in my smokey grey eyes. he!!0. the High Liberal looks at me. and a dagger is shoved through his back, making everything below the contact point useless. The dagger was laced with poisoin. 2/3 Spiked paragoomba 1/5 "Door opener"

Unfortunately, the High Liberal is by this point highly innoculated to poison thanks to having been trained to survive the absolute toxicity that are the 2016 American elections, but the dagger still deals 3000 damage to him.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1482390723))

It is at this point that a woman proceeds to appear in the simulation. She seems to have white hair, white skin, green eyes, a black shirt, and a yellow coat and pair of pants. She glances around for a moment or two. "Shit, where am I?" She also does not look like she belongs in the simulation at all. She does seem capable of defending herself, at the very least, so that's something. But something about the way she's frowning indicates she isn't entirely used to the current situation, and also happens to have no idea what on earth is going on. She proceeds to whip out a revolver that honestly looks like it was made of the bodyparts of an unfortunate zombie. Then, the woman in yellow curses. "Only a Corpse Shooter to rely on? This is gonna suck, even with those upgrades the weird guy gave it..." Fairview Survivor (FVS) has appeared. As she fights, she'll start unlocking some heavier firepower from the Dead Frontier world, albeit modified. One of the things about her is that her health is, annoyingly, not measured in solid numbers. Instead, well... 100% is Perfect, 99-75% is Healthy, 74-50% is Injured, 49-25% is Wounded, 24-1% is Critical, 0% is DEAD. FVS Status: Perfect Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter Secondary weapon: NA Tertiary weapon: NA Armor: NA

As a note, you are not currently vulnerable, and if you want to change up how your HP is gonna work, you'd probably be best off doing some kind of charge for it. But that's neither here nor there.
Regardless, welcome to the game!
+2000 XP

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1482402970))

After performing an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle and destroying the hippies, Trickle moves on to the High Liberal. "Now, I don't know much about politics, but..." "I can tell you're in some dire need of pure, unadulterated DESTROYING!" He walks up to the High Liberal, gives him a nice slap on the face, before whistling. Why did he whistle, you're asking? Oh. You'll see. The High Liberal is startled by some heavy footsteps. Getting louder. And louder. And... Louder... Until... It's a stampede of giant red n' blue fucking republican elephants! The High Liberal's only weakness! The elephants stomp all over him, and summon their leader, the elephant from This Is The Only Level, Achievement Unlocked, etc., except he's also a republican, for some reason. (He's not an actual summon). The elephant then smashes the High Liberal with its tusks, piercing his skin and stabbing him. The Liberal bleeds out and dies, obviously. Trickle thanks the elephants for their service and they run away. Into the sunset. Yay. CHARGES ----------- Hammer of the Bound - 7/10 Tin Can - 3/10 ----------- +1 to JoeBob. {Queue: Speed, Consommé, Joe} [SUBJECT TO CHANGE]

A right and proper tusking is undergone, and the High Liberal comes out of it slightly flatter and 5000 hit points less healthy.
+7000 XP

QUOTE (ConsumerOfAll @ (time=1482418754))

Alicia has always found it easier to pick on the weak. Code Alicia is no exception. This means that although the Simumodder is currently vulnerable, Alicia will ignore him (though let's be honest I want to redefine him to a simulation of the Simurgh that is a godmodder), as she wants delicious and beautiful XP, and it's easier to get XP from an entity than trying to hit the Simumodder even though the latter is the aim of the game and Alicia is committing bad practise. As such, she walks over to one, and only one, Dank Weed Abomination. DWA. She flips the A and the W, the alpha and a letter that vaguely resembles omega. DAW, dalet - alef - vav* - cuteness. The attacked Dank Weed Abomination suddenly becomes explicably attractive, cute, babylike, everything that humanity wants to hug and adore and protect. As this is a simulation, this breaking of physics is somewhat easier by setting cuteness in the adjectives list to "true". A Dank Weed Abomination, of course, should not be cute for many reasons. It is an Abomination, and Abominations are things that humanity wants to destroy, not protect, everything that is wrong and disgusting and perverted and aberrant. Second, it is comprised of Dank Weed, and government and megacorporate Watchdogs as such see that Weed is Bad, capital BET. Dankness is of course also a Very Bad Thing, capital VAV-BET-TAV, according to the megacorporate arbiters of Alicia's world, arbiters that she has a massive level of control of, being the emulation of a daughter of a CEO of one of the very greatest megacorporations, Epsilion Alpha. Now, Very Bad Things are like the monsters in the dark, and portraying themselves as good and attractive is an Even Worse Thing. All of this comes together to cause many, many dogs to warp into the simulation, darkness seeping into their form, eyes compounded onto eyes, and eyes, always watching lurking seeing working, noses similar. They see the Dank Weed Abomination and they sniff it out, before they call their guardians, Watchmen, similarly seeped in a darkness. The Dank Weed Abomination goes wide eyed in fear, before the Watchmen and Watchdogs walk closer, and closer, stepping forth, baton out, ready to cut and smash and impact and kill. They run forward and the Dank Weed Abomination is savaged for being a Very Bad Thing in a brief and vague way because we want to cut down on longposts and not lengthen them and these posts really aren't help cut down on them and are instead just a merciless method for Alicia to jump up on the Echeladder. * Hebrews have no W, and from my experience in Latin I know that V in the past was used to pronounce a w sound, as such dalet - alef - vav. Misinterpreting symbology with Consomme, people. Beginner's Artifice [2/10] [+1 from Speed] The Mayor Is [6/10] [+1 from Trickle] +1 to Hezetor (next up, Toast, Speed, Trickle)

You take one of the Dank Weed Abominations, and through blatant abuse and misuse of symbolism, deal a solid 6000 damage to it.
+8000 XP

Tricklejest has leveled up! Level 1: "True Zero"
Combat Special unlocked: Heroism (basic)

EoTB:
The salty fascimile of alicia attempts to finish the Dank Weed Abomination that Alicia savaged earlier in the round, and becomes when it only manages to do 2000 damage.
The Teary-eyed observer is presented with the option to kill a hippie or the weed abomination, and has such a hard time deciding it bursts into tears, which drown the evil hippie.
The High Liberal acts first, using his power within the upper echelons of the convoluted legal system of the server (apparently it has one) to help the evil hippies weed up more easily, allowing them to minicrit. Deciding that they should share the love, the Evil Hippies convince the Teary-Eyed Observer to smoke some pot with them, but as everyone knows, smoking is bad for you, so the Teary-eyed observer takes 5000 damage.
The Dank Weed Abominations don't have anything clever to do, so they just attack the salty fascimile of alicia generically, dealing 3000 damage and inflicting the "high" status effect.
The Simumodder itself decides that some house cleaning needs to be done, so it begins tidying things up, picking up various useless objects and throwing them out. Unfortunately, the Simumodder mistakenly throws away the objects from toast's story, causing the Teary-eyed Observer to be emotionally devastated, taking 10000 damage.

All charges tick up by 1, all status effects tick down by 1.

Weather: Clear (no effect)
Terrain: Broken Cathedral/Factory (no effect?)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 100/100
Evil Hippies x7 [PS]: Hp: 4500/5000
Dank Weed Abomination x2 [PS]: Hp: 9500/10000
Dank Weed Abomination [PS]: Hp: 1500/10000
High Liberal [PS]: Hp: 17000/25000
Teary-eyed Observer [AS]: Hp: 5000/20000
salty fascimile of alicia [AS]: Hp: 17000/20000. but what if i don't like your existence: 2/3 (high: 2 rounds)



Originally posted on 2016-12-22 15:01:00

Trickle walks up to the Dank Weed Abominations and releases a barrage of M, to the E, to the M to the E to the motherfucking S!
What am I doing with my life?
He plays "We Are Number One But Every One Is Replaced By Smoke Weed Everyday", a track that he made himself, obviously, in his MP35 weapon.
Trickle climactically walks up to the Abominations, until the beat finally drops...

"SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!"

Trickle shoots the MP35 carefully, making sure every hit is a headshot.
If the Abominations lack heads, he just shoots 'em anyway, at which point they appear to have a shit ton of holes with them.
Dank Memes obviously pop up from all the sides of the screens once Trickle penta-kills the Weed.
Yes, I know that I can't penta-kill them since there are only three of them.
Shush.
Don't logic.
That's not a good.

Trickle then fills the holes with good ol' cyanide. That should keep 'em down for a while.
And he sprinkles a bit of happiness in there, too. [ARBITRARY REFERENCE].


CHARGES
-----------
Hammer of the Bound - 8/10
Tin Can - 4/10
-----------

+1 to Speed.
{Queue: Consommé, Joe, Nikita} [SUBJECT TO CHANGE]

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 15:33:00

Oh, sorry, the above placeholder was just using simulation technology to simulate an interaction between Annis and Piono.

"Oh, my name's Alicia Cambridge," Alicia says, smiling at Auth.

Anyway, Alicia walks forward, and notices Project Solidus the Ascendant Curse of S and Wielder of the Shotgun Curse JOE's switch to Pro-Simurghmodder, and him mocking my tone, as well as trying to murder the facsimile. That's like totes problematic and JOE should like totally just not. Alicia simply stares at JOE, and decides that she wants to farm the Echeladder.

She decides that she's lazy today, and throws a high health Dank Weed Abomination in a shredder, cutting it into simple hash, and setting it on fire, causing the shredder to get high. The shredder, and with it, a Dank Weed Abomination rises into the sky, emitting hallucinogens as Alicia stands, with a hoe raised similar to a bat. The shredder comes down, and Alicia, barely missing, smashes the shredder into the ground, causing it to release a Dank Weed Abomination. By a Dank Weed Abomination, I actually mean water, mould and weed, splattered across the floor.

Alicia then takes out a jar, composed entirely of Vacuo essentia, and shoves the Dank Weed Abomination's remnants into the jar, tricking the simulation into thinking it's Vacuo essentia. The jar turns out to be a void jar, which deletes excess essentia from reality by throwing it into an abyss. The Dank Weed Abomination thus experiences the same effect, coupled with some glitches, and thus decent portions of it are erased from the simulation.

---

The facsimile will attack the lowest HP Dank Weed Abomination.
Beginner's Artifice [2/10] [+1 from Speed]
The Mayor Is [6/10] [+1 from Trickle]
+1 to Toast (next up, Speed, Trickle, Hezetor)

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 16:52:00

A badly drawn mirror appears out of nowhere. It somehow reminds you of a portal. You don't know why.

A person walks out of the portal.

DialogLog™:


Due to weird plot shit™ the mirror-portal™ is broken.

---

I draw a sword just incase. 1/2
I try to draw another mirror-portal™ to escape. 1/3

EDIT: Forgot to mention I will join in as Neutral [N].

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 17:06:00

Trickle attempts to do more shenanigans, but this piece of shit flies over and smacks his face.

Hammer of the Bound - 10/10

"Oh, finally!"
"I can be reunited with my best weapon!"

The Shishkablam and MP35 sob and attempt to overthrow Trickle, but luckily, he catches them in time.

"Off to the time-out corner with you lot!"

The weapons cry and return to the backpack's back pouch, dubbed the 'Time-Out Corner'. I really have nothing better to do.
Anyway, Trickle binds one of the Weed Monsters, gaining its slab. The slab is yet unactivated, since at least one of them is still alive, most likely.
Once the Monster is bound... TRICKLE ACTIVATES HEROISM!
And shit happens.

CHARGES
-----------
Tin Can - 5/10
Bane of the Pobyos - 1/10
-----------

+1 to Consommé.
{Queue: Joe, Nikita, Speed} [SUBJECT TO CHANGE]

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 17:14:00

Perceptual shift 3/10
PERCEPTUAL state 4/10
i +1 trickle because i have no better choice and he has a really sob story about his starving family.
after receiving information from heaven, i join PS. why? because of reasons.
since salty facsimile of alicia seems the most likely to be annoying, i pull out my new silly-weapon: enchanted socks! i run forward, smacking her silly with a barrage of hits from my white socks, before throwing them at her and pulling out some red socks, which burn on contact. i start pushing her back, landing the occasional hit, before i decide she's retreating too much, so i pull out a rune-sock, and put it on. i now generate a cage, powered by my socks, which will keep her from backing up. as i do this, i lob occasional black-socks at her, which keep her busy by exploding. then, the cage generated, i grab my green socks, swinging at her lazily, before i throw one of them fast, landing a hit which infects her with a weak poison. then a new pair of socks appear, blue and brown. i swing the brown one in a feint before darting with the blue, landing a hit, as her(?) arm starts to freeze near the point of impact. i throw the brown sock up and smack it at her with the blue, darting in to attack at the same time, as the brown sock seems to grow and change, becoming a sock made of rock, while i swing the blue sock. regardless of which sock she blocks, it hurts / weakens her, before i pull out some golden-lined socks with lots of roman numerals on them, which seem to leave a blur when swung, as if they move too fast to see, and time slows for me as i move my blue sock (i'm still using it) and use the heightened speed and reaction times to make sure it hits, striking the joints and extremity's first before moving in to the middle, slowly freezing her and slowing her down, before i switch to a pure-white and pitch black sock pair, breaking the ice when i strike with the white, and creating a black sticky gunk with the black, before i put them inside one another and create a chaotically colored and threaded, badly made sock, somehow, followed by throwing it at them, then running over to nikitaw and saying "oh, by the way, the guy with the circle on the ground beneath him is "totally" the "good" guy and you should "totes" "join" "him"."


Originally posted on 2016-12-22 17:29:00

0kay, s0 that p0isin didn't work then?
G0RRI!A

The p0isin always works!
We!! i'!! just try something else then.
A sh0tgun appears in my hand
BANG!
sh0tgun she!!s s0rr0und the high !ibera!
My hand that was expl0ded off me sudden!y c!0ses
A!! the sh0tgun she!!s exp!0de int0 the high !ibera!

3/3 Spiked parag00mba
Spiked parag00mba has been summ0ned!
2/5 "d00r 0pener

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 19:30:00

The woman quickly figures out what team certain people are on, and decides that she really only wants to be out of the simulation as soon as possible, which required destroying the Simumodder, obviously. But, just as she aims her fleshy revolver at aforementioned target, the weapon seems to start whispering to her. She frowns.

"...Dammit. Alright, low recoil, find something else to shoot."

The X-Corpse Shooter whispers again to her, before flicking her hand around to point itself at the Evil Hippy army instead.

"Alright, I can work with this. Blast 'em to hell."

Odd. The Fairview Survivor seems to be talking to that damn gun... Regardless, it's working, a number of .50-caliber handgun bullets flying forth from the revolver and smashing into the Hippies, each shot carefully and precisely aimed, on-point due to the low amount of recoil force.


Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter
Secondary weapon: NA
Tertiary weapon: NA
Armor: NA

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 20:33:00

I throw the High Liberal into a complex deathtrap involving toothpicks, a rabbit, and a literal ton of bricks.

I then begin a charge:

Ninjaneer: 1/5

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 23:02:00

After the utter failure to make a dramatic entrance™ our yet to be formally introduced "hero" is left thinking what to do.

I wonder what I should do, maybe a proper entrance, because really, how could I live without it? But how...

After spending the previous turn with thoughts like those he is finally ready to strike, or at least to enter the game.
He goes next to a mason, probably the only one that survived the suicide charge against the Simumodder. He lift him from the ground without apparent movement.

"Are you alive?" "Yes... barely my lord" "Good it's time to finish your work"

After saying this a few lights emerge from the corpses of the various masons and technicians that worked to make the cathedral-factory, all these lights enter the body of the last man, still fluctuating from the ground, all his wounds are no more in an instant.

"Wha-at h-happend my lord?" "I restored your body and upgraded your mind, now you have the ability to finish the work that your peers could not make"
The re-born man stares at his lord, his blue eyes look back at him.
"You should have already started"

Our heroic mason imbued of the power of all his dead companions and with the knowledge of all the technicians starts to build his opera magna, he builds and crafts without rest an immense cathedral partially composed of a factory capable of building robots around the Simummoder and everyone else.
After 4 entire minutes of work the immense work is complete the mason collapses to the ground incapable of standing on its own clearly exhausted from this tremendous deal of work.

"About time"

From the inside of the majestic building the various participants of the war see a man crush the rose window from the outside with an audible crack, a million pieces of glass are shattered to the ground.
A white light enlightens all the area as a man dressed with red flowing robes lands fiercely at the centre of the building.
He looks to all the participants and then to the Simummoder and with a loud voice he speaks:

"And Hezetor is!"

Well... surely dramatic, but totally not necessary.

+1 to Consumer
5/10 +2 from Talist, +1 from Consumer
2/10

Originally posted on 2016-12-22 23:24:00

Auth summons a Mirror, and stabs through it with Inkscalibur. A vein in the blade glows with a bright green, and the six remaining veins dim.

Viric, the colour of Shallow Sleep. It has a strong connotation with Mirrors. So, how about I show you what I can do with these connections!

Auth creates multiple Mirrors of himself, and slowly walks towards the High Liberal. They all charge and attack, and as some of them get close, the mirrors disappear and reappear behind the Liberal. This also happens if he tries to Counterattack. Their blades clash as they all tear the insignificant politician into a billion pieces. They then move even faster, due to Viric also being the color of shallow sleep, causing restlessness. After about fine minutes of High Liberal being torn a bunch of new ones, the Real Author backs up, and all the Mirrors leap and stab at it, all at the same time.

Retreat, before you are harmed further!

ACTION SUMMARY:

Auth uses Viric to clone himself and attack the High Liberal more times than he should be able to.

SPECIAL ATTACKS:

CRUSADE OF THE LOST: 5/10 (+1 from Trickle)

SEEKERS OF THE NAME: 4/10

+1 to Trickle

Originally posted on 2016-12-23 00:40:00

Redstone appears and blows up at the same time due to being in too many DTG sessions at "once."

Instead, a blocky man with a rounded cylindrical head appears and says "Can I has cheeseburger" before being stabbed by another person who has the same body structure, but has constantly changing appearances, from a crying person, to a dude with headphones and a tuxedo, to a secret agent. The man finally gets a definitive outfit of bleached white skin with a paper bag on him. The bag has a badly drawn head on it which also seems to have rainbow hair.

"Sorry for the small mess.", he says, "That noob followed me everywhere."

sparkysfaint is now an AS.

Sparkysfaint summons an explosive orb, which he then hurls at a/the Dank Weed Abomination.

1/10 Swordstorm
1/5 FREE MOHDALZ!!!!!!11!!!!1!!

Originally posted on 2016-12-23 02:02:00