"Well, I didn't expect to get this lucky!"
I open up another Golden Crate (if there's any left), re-apply a Woodworm for bait, and cast my line once again, to see what else I could get.
"Kinda surprised that lava fishing isn't a thing here in the mindscape. It's actually a pretty good way to get some useful materials, and kinda relaxing."

Then, it crossed my mind that That One Friendly Spider has received... no upgrades on the scale that some other NPCs have gotten, if any at all. I figure it's time to change that. But, I'll need a bit of help.

Shade!DarkSide goes to have a chat with Temmie!Roxxanne.
"Hey, Roxxanne? Can I talk to ya for a sec?"
Assuming she's willing to listen and That One Friendly Spider (or any of the NPCs for that matter) isn't around, I lay down the base idea of, and reasons for what I want to do.
"I'm thinking of doing an upgrade thing for TOFS to give him a boost to around the level of the other NPCs. I mean, it's almost Christmas, and he hasn't got any gifts under the tree yet, no large-scale upgrades, and isn't too strong to begin with. I'm thinking of using this Obsidian Swordfish I caught as a baseline for these upgrades. Do you have any recommendations as to what should be done? Or would you rather do your exceptionally potent and... admittedly complicated series of rituals for the upgrade? Either works."
Upon receiving an answer, if any, Shade!DarkSide simply says "Ah. Thanks for the help!" and heads back to whatever he was doing.

((Also there's a ghostpage on the next page))


Originally posted on 2016-12-23 19:14:00

Meanwhile, while I try to work out where everyone is so I can... y'know... do my job, I'm leaving this.

C-Chaos! Good sir, Roxxanne is not my girlfriend! I must insist that you cease and desist these slanderous and defamatory remarks, as this fact is easily corroborated by Roxxanne herself!

Auth has turned a very minute tinge of red. Good job Chaos. You've got him flustered.

Auth enters the Charitomb fight, and begins analysing the field, taking note of where everyone is.

After Toast moves, Auth steps onto J8. He aims south-east, towards Oriko, Soup, Joe and Toast after they move.

An opening Blessing should do a great deal of good.

After hitting them all with Blessing, Auth backs up to J9.



Originally posted on 2016-12-24 01:57:00

<TURN ONE-HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE>
Battlefury first prys open a Golden Crate. You find some Cobalt Bars (somehow), a Spelunker Potion, and two gold! He then expends 2 Yarn Balls, 5 Souls of Fright, and 20 Hollowed Logs, creating a Naughty Present! While it probably won't spawn a WHOLE Frost Moon, it'll certainly spawn a wave of foes from it. Alt then goes off to ask Marron what Ette would want for chirstmas, and vice-versa.

tc: What Ette would want...?
tc: Hey, good on you for thinking of my sis.
tc: If I had to guess, I'd imagine she's sick of getting beaten up. Maybe something to increase her durability would be nice?

Ette responds to you via a written note, since you can't understand her hand waving. It roughly translates to "give her a skill slot." Chlorin then realizes he'll need to put more work into his equipment if he wishes to yeehaw. Oriko then rejoins the game, and +5's(!) her AGI. Darkside then opens the second Golden Crate, finding 2 Gold and a Hardy Saddle! The second fishing trip does not prove as fruitful however, as you only loot 3 Obsidifish, 1 Flarefin Koi, and 2 Wooden Crates. Jon and the Operative then find some strange attraction to Ghost Pages. Okay then.

To conclude, a ton of people join the Chairitomb battle; Battlefury, Teag, JOEbob, Sunny, Chlorin, Numbersoup, Oriko (taking Bet with her), Lyra, and the Author! Chloe decides to join in, with Marron and Ette staying behind for the time being.

<BATTLE: SCALES SCALES SCALES, TURN SCALES>
Perhaps it wants you to come. Come to the summit.

<BATTLE: FINAL GATE REDUX, TURN ONE>
Chloe's used her special, turning her into a big ball of flames and damage! Protect her and she'll reward you with insane fire-based damage against Chairitomb! Or maybe don't protect her, because she has 150 HP. Anyway, pile the damage on Chairitomb! Or his parts!

Beware the MISSILE PM'S! Players will need to work together to deduce where today's missiles are falling! Any one of these players may have received PM's;

Missile PM List:
Tazz / Roxxanne
ConsumerOfAll / Oriko
Battlefury / Lord of All Dogs, Forever, Period
Cyan / Healerbot Xenogenesis
Engie / The Operative
Darkside
PitTheAngel / Lyra
Crystalcat / Siria
Insert
Toast
Jon

If you wish to be added to the list, just say so!

cc: ohhey i(t)'s almos(t) ©hris(t)mas
cc: and (t)urn (t)wo-hundred
cc: hype
cc: ...
cc: my gif(t) be(t)(t)er be good

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 02:42:00

I move to I11 and use Guardian, then retreat to k10 because your in blade hell either way.

i open the wooden crates

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 03:21:00

And quickly dashes past Joe, onto J8, and aims the Inkblot South-East towards Joe, Soup, Toast and where Oriko Bet will be after they move.

Charitomb is weak to Darkness, is he? That is certainly something we can utilize.

Auth fires at them all, and all their weapons... Not exactly glow, but they appear to be absorbing all light near them.

An Enchantment of Darkness. I specifically chose that, because Ms. Elem and Ms. Toast can deal Fire Damage, and I am inclined to think that Elements and their Damage stack. Apologies, as well, Ms. Elem, I would have applied this enchantment to you as well if I had the ability to reach you.

Auth rocks on the balls of his feet. He's gonna need to outrun those missiles at some point, he thinks. Or, +1 to AGI may be more apt of a description.

Also if being on the list isn't a bad thing I'll be on it sure.

/not a placeholder

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 03:31:00

FUCK FUCK ACTION
TEAG UPGRADES THE SENTRY, HITS IT WITH HIS WRENCH, AND RUNS TO F11 TO MEDITATE
AAAAAA

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 03:37:00

C!Chlorin promptly blows up due to rage.

C!Chlorin decides to do the crafting in more detail.

C!Chlorin follows Starbound logic and forges 2 parts of a ring out of 1 Titanium Ingot. C!Chlorin uses a special glue for metal that he randomly invented on his journey within Starbound to combine the 2 semi-rings together. The product is a loop that fits on the normal adult's head.

He then uses 5 more Titanium Ingots to create a block of Titanium that looks similar to the big piece on the Oculus Rift. After that, C!Chlorin places it on a plate-esque item platform that suddenly appeared on the crafting station. He uses the hologram that also appeared to search for a certain recipe. He eventually finds "Outlaw Hat Visor", and another plate-esque item platform pops out. He places the Titanium ring on the second "plate", and the magic begins.

The 2 items poof out of existence. However, on another item platform, bit by bit, the visor for the Outlaw Hat begins to materialize. After about 26 seconds, it fully existifies.

He puts this item onto his head, as well as the Cowboy Hat. This is replicated onto real Chlorin.

Outlaw Hat created.

You know where to find the stats.

Chlorin moves to N8, switches to Iron Sights, and snips the Cannon. He then retreats to O9.

I then decide that I'm too lazy to use Summon properly and switch out Chlorin's summon for Greater Blink.

I then do some skill pointy stuff. I put 9 Skill Points into STR, giving Chlorin 10 STR. I then take one Skillpoint from HP and put 3 SP into AGI, giving Chlorin 7(+1) AGI.

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 04:58:00

"...Ah well."
DarkSide, noticing that he's missing out on a fight at the Final Gate, immediately jolts towards it.
Upon appearing, you know it's going to be a god-awful time for Chairitomb. I appear at (J11), cast a CritAug onto Toast for maximum damage on her end.
"This is going to end extremely quickly, I can already tell."
---
After not receiving a response, Shade!DarkSide just walks off, and decides to do something... simple, but [hopefully] highly effective.

INPUT: Obsidian Swordfish, Toxic Fungi (x2), Leather (x3), Titanium Ore (x20), Obsidifish (x5), Gold Ingot (x1), Spider Web (x1), Medical Herbs (x2), Soul of Fright (x1), Phase Matter (x1), Hard Light Projector (x1), Metal Platings, Healing Auras, Mana Circlets

First off, I get the dimensions of TOFS (if he doesn't mind. I assume it's male?) seems I plan to make some armor for him and all. It's close to christmas, anyway, so it's not a big deal if he doesn't get it all wrapped up. As long as he gets something, everyone's happy.

I shape the leather into the shape of TOFS's head, body, legs, and backside. A few loops are on the edges of the leather, in order for the chainmail part of the armor to actually stay on.

I melt the ore into hundreds of light, yet durable, chain links. Using a wooden model spider as a... well... a model, I make the chains into the length needed to cover the spider's entire body, connecting them in such a way for maximum performance. A lattice pattern, to be more precise. I do this for everything, connecting all the parts together as well as possible.

Due to the general discomfort that chains usually give to the wearer, I spin the Spider's Web into a comfortable - yet extremely strong - fabric. The fabric goes under everything for a silky-smooth feel underneath the soon-to-be-heavy armor.

Before I do any more armoring, I plant a little ball of Gold underneath the helmet. What it will be used for will be revealed later.

While all this was happening, another Shade!DarkSide was working on the Obsidian Swordfish component of the armor, shaving off the belly of the fish so that it would fit snugly on the armor with no hassle. He then prepares to handle the Toxic Fungi, grinds them up, extracts the toxins, and coats the blade of the swordfish in these terrifyingly potent toxins.

He then fuses the blade and toxins together, to ensure that the enemies get the toxins thrust into their body and not the user.

Meanwhile, I melt the rest of the gold into a helmet-like shape for a spider, with a small spherical groove on top of it.

Then, I take apart an extreme amount of metal plating, melt down the metal parts, and forging new parts out of the melted plating, made to fit a spider. I attach these plates to each other with a few more of those chain links from earlier, and also attaching them to the pre-existing chainmail for even more protection.

Meanwhile, the other shade grinds up and melts some Obsidifish.

After all is said and done, the other shade disappears after giving me the molten Obsidian. I fuse the Hard Light Projector onto the armor in a like-sized hole in the plating, and then I coat the outside of all the plating (carefully avoiding the projector) with the obsidian, to give it a dark purple shine to it as it hardens smoothly. Taking some dye, I also paint some designs that resemble those of a Black Widow. I then infuse the entire armor and projector with the Soul of Fright, refit the projector to do projections around the armor, and upload the visage of a Black Widow to make a hard light 'illusion' of a giant, fearsome, Black Widow spider. Except significantly more fierce, with the visage of spikes and the like around its body in all sorts of horrifying ways.

And then, the final piece of the first puzzle; the Obsidian Swordfish. I slide the shaped belly of it onto the armor, still conjuring up the illusion, which is much harder than it sounds, seems that it's hard to get to grips with where exactly the weapon must be placed. It should be placed far forward enough to allow stabbing and slashing, but close enough to prevent it from stabbing into the ground and rendering the poor spider immobile. I melt the obsidian around the fish, and harden it, fusing it onto the armor. Suddenly, the Obsidian Swordfish becomes part of the visage as well, showing off a horrifying pair of red, glowing eyes when placed in a dark area. The fish was thankfully slender enough to not prevent the visage from being any less terrifying. It's almost as if the Obsidian Swordfish made it even more terrifying.

For the significantly smaller piece of the puzzle; the gold headpiece; I take a ton of Healing Auras and Mana Circlets, as well as some Medical Herbs, and carefully take out the magical energies from the circlets and oh so carefully combine them with those of the Healing Auras. I infuse half of the magical energies into each the Medical Herbs, so they now glow with a bright blue with all the magics in them. However, I dim the lights by infusing a smidgeon of Darkness into them, out of thin air since it's just a cosmetic change. I set them on the inside of the helmet, with some Mage Robe Fabric. Using the residual leather from the armor, I create straps for the helmet in order to hold it in place. that's done, now.

Finally, connecting the two together. Using some Phase Matter, I create a pocket dimension inside the helmet to hold the armor, and link the golden ball on the headpiece of the armor to the helmet's equally-shaped slot. I also take the time to use the remaining gold to create a ring around the middle of the backside, an around the armor's backside, and infuse some Phase Matter into those two as well, so that it will align properly 100% of the time. I, of course, insulate the insides of the helmet and ring with some leftover spider silk so that it's comfortable.

The way the spider gets it on his body is with the helmet; it controls it with it's thoughts, thus, being able to use it whenever.

And thus, after a bit of bullshit involving weight reduction, the Black Widow's Battlearmor has been created!

RESULT: Black Widow's Battlearmor: Made for spiders, and ONLY spiders. Don't try and use this yourself unless you suddenly shift into a spider.
Super comfortable, making it feel almost like a natural extension to your own body. Using it makes the spider look much like a Black Widow, except 10 times more terrifying, and with an Obsidian Swordfish on its back.
The spear of the swordfish is positioned and made in such a way as to prevent getting stuck on it, and still poisons foes on hit.
Grants the spider wearing it significantly more HP, more MP, Attack, Ability Power, HP and MP regen, AC (maybe), and the Obsidian Swordfish's unique ability, among possible other things.

I then quickly store the armor in the helmet, grab a giftbox, place the helmet and back ring into it, close it off, and shove it under the christmas tree for That One Friendly Spider.

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 05:36:00

HealerX requests a "clericbot" build for the Walkthrough. He also asks Chaos if the Binding Hatstack's effect applies to the Auto-Revive buff, for gamebreaking reasons.
----
HealerX dodgerolls to D8, then staggers a bit.

"[FAINT LOUD NIGRA SCREAM]"

He shoots himself, then dashes back to B8.
----
Only missiles that are mentioned EXACTLY twice will actually land.
Add +2 to Message 1’s second missile, and +2 to Message 2’s second missile. (ex: A1 becomes A3)

(Message 4)
----
Clone HealerX pulls out the Omnidisciplinary Crafting Station. Ladies and gentlemen, craftmageddon has begun.
-Crafting: Terry Crews' POWER Helmet (for Soup)-
INPUT: 1 Energy Circlet, ??? Knight's Helmets, 5 Durasteel Ingots, 10 Titanium Ingots, 2 Hallowed Bars

Clone HealerX borrows Soup's Energy Circlet, and places it on a patch of dirt. Next, he places a circle of Knight's Helmets around it. After that, he pounds some of the Durasteel, the Titanium, and the Hallowed bars into platings using a holographic hammer.

He places the platings in the middle spots between the Energy Circlet and the Knight's Helmets. The remaining metal is used in an alloy for the smeltery, then poured into a mold shaped like a can of Old Spice.

He places the metal can in the middle of the Energy Circlet, then pulls out a holographic cursor. After he places the can, he "right-clicks" the middle, which makes a lot of particles fly around, and after that, a single helmet stands.

He then puts this helmet in a box, under the tree, with a note.

"For Soup, +anky man:
Enjoy more +ankiness, m8.
-Healerbo+ XG."

Terry Crews' Power Helmet: Infinite, in-infinite power.
Stats: +1 MHP, +1 AC, +1 SPC, SP bar length doubled. SP gain still locked when using Form-Change specials.
----
Two in a row.
-Crafting: Origin Blaze Powder (for Chloe's gear) and Cinder/Hollowed Knives-
INPUT: 1 Origin Blaze Rod, 5 Cinder Logs, 5 Hollowed Logs, 2 Iron Ingots

Clone HealerX realizes that a normal hammerspaced knife would melt under the sheer heat of the rod. He gets around this by making 2 fireproof knives using Cinder Logs, Hollowed Logs and an Iron Ingot. The Cinder Logs and the Hollowed Logs are for seperate knives, making them not cancel each other out.

After the knives are done, he lunges at the floating Origin Blaze Rod, knives in impact with each other, and- HealerX seems to be unscathed, and so do the knives. From the Cinder Knife's fire resistance, and the Hollowed Knife's anti-fire affinity, the Origin Blaze Rod's heat has weakened, but not its awesomeness.

He makes the knives float, and spin into the Origin Blaze Rod. A few slash effects here, a few particles there, and the Rod slowly degrades into powder. The knives fade into the inventory.

He puts the Origin Blaze Powder into a fireproof hammerspaced box, under the tree, with a note.

"For Chloe's equips:
+he dus+ of powered Blazes.
-Healerbo+ XG."

Origin Blaze Powder (x?): Chaos, you egg. It's powder, not dust. We're in Minecraft (?), not in Remnant.
Cinder and Hollowed Knives: Exactly what it says on the tin. Or copper, depending on worldgen. Probably too weak to be statted weapons.

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 07:01:00

Missile Log-

Message 1: (Crys)
A Crater Missile is falling at (M7).
A Row Missile is falling at (D7).
A Crater Missile is falling at (L11).
Any missiles targeted at an “C” are actually targeted at an “I”. (ex: C4 becomes I4)

Message 2: (Jon)
A Row Missile is falling at (D9).
A Crater Missile is falling at (L9).
A Crater Missile is falling at (I10).
A Row Missile is falling at (C8).

Message 3: (Me)
A Crater Missile is falling at (M7).
A Crater Missile is falling at (L11).
A Column Missile is falling at (L3).

Message 4: (Cyan)
Only missiles that are mentioned EXACTLY twice will actually land.
Add +2 to Message 1’s second missile, and +2 to Message 2’s second missile. (ex: A1 becomes A3)

Message 5: (Insert)
A Column Missile is falling at (L3).
A Crater Missile is falling at (C10).
A Column Missile is falling at (M9).


MISSILE LOCATIONS AFTER CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES

Toast soars to N4, and casually deals upwards of 100 damage to the Empty Slot. She then moves to M6, and uses Shifting Sands on Gladius.

Heh, go nuts, Glad!

Meanwhile, in a parrallel universe known as The Ascent...
​
Alts prepares some upgrades for Marron and Ette. She begins with Ette's upgrade,
grabbing the following ingredients: _ Leather, _ Silkweed, _ Titanium Ingots

She takes the leather, and starts using the Temmie Sewing kit to stitch the pieces together, such that they would kind of resemble Ette-sized leather armor. Using a number of titanium ingots, a few sets of chain-links are made, which Alt criss-crosses from the left shoulder to the right side and the right shoulder to the left side, to provide extra protection.

Afterwards, she begins creating a second set of armor. This one she instead makes out of fabric, but it otherwise will look quite similar. She spins about 15 Silkweed into some nice fabric, and lays it across the crafting workbench. Bringing out a pair of scissors (for cutting fabric of course), Alt cuts out a few shapes to stitch together. She does both of these things, and ends up with a shirt-type thing. Now, for the harder part.

Alt wanted to give Ette some armor that would let her better protect the people around her, and punish her less for doing so. Unfortunately, Alt only knew about half of what she should do for it. So, the obvious solution is to just improvise. Descendants seem to be good at that. The oversized shirt is lain over an enchanting table, and Alt begins to speak.

Toris Trean Causca Linis Toris Loren! Alsim!

Ethereal armor seems to pull itself out of the elemental plane of ethereal armor, just to be here today. It links itself to the garment, taking form in a similar location to the protections of the previous piece, then fades. Alt then tries stabbing herself with the scissors. The ethereal armor reappears, and she is satisfied. Next, and finally, she places the two garments side-by-side, and casts one last enchantment.
Toris Loren Linis Alto Loren!

There's a flash of light, and the two garments are pulled together. As it fades, neither of the armors that previously sat on the bench remain. Instead, there seems to be some sort of... canvas garment? She raps it lightly with a fist, and it feels tough, but is simultaneously quite soft and comfortable. Its still Ette sized, which is another plus. Alt stabs herself again, and the armor does its thing again.
Puppet Armor crafted! This will give Ette +2 AC when tanking hits for people, and +1 AC otherwise. Also grants a small amount of MHP.
She then wraps it up in a fairly large, but short box, and addresses it to Ette.

"Dear Ette,

From Alt and Toast."

The wierdest thing about this spell language is that you need to shout everything for it to work properly.

Toast buys a steam code of Furi, writes it down on a piece of paper and places it in a massive box (filled with bubble wrap), at least triple the size of the next largest box. She then wraps the said box with a tremendous amount of effort, and addresses it to ©haos.

"Dear ©haos,
its a gift.
From Toast (but not Alt this time)."

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 07:03:00

A Column Missile is falling at (L3).
A Crater Missile is falling at (C10).
A Column Missile is falling at (M9).

(Message 5)

I spawn in at K11, move to I7, and Mindcrush the Missile Array.

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 07:52:00

I check the summon and discover i got an abomination!
(for once, i actualy thought about this. i just only did so while not at my computer, and since i probably wouldnt remember later, i figured it'd be funny)
i move to 7 J, attack the 'blade' section, and retreat to 8 J.
Abomination doesnt move, attacks 'blade', and retreats to J7


Originally posted on 2016-12-24 08:09:00

Siria joins the Final Gate battle at K11, moves up to K9, and attacks Chairitomb.'


MESSAGE 1
A Crater Missile is falling at (M7).
A Row Missile is falling at (D7).
A Crater Missile is falling at (L11).
Any missiles targeted at an “C” are actually targeted at an “I”. (ex: C4 becomes I4)

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 18:40:00

"Wasn't even a challenge! We're the awesomesaucest everier, colon three! You're just not tryin' 'cause you know you wouldn't win anyways! "

@Chairitomb: Most of my tactical planning stuffs have been relinquished to Toast, for reasons. That being said, I do have one tactical piece of advice. Namely, target the Empty slot last. The nature of our healer (Auth) for the fight means that all healing is gonna be in large splash, making the weak splash of the Empty Slot's abilities much less threatening compared to the more beefy single-target attacks. Auth can apply Guardian-3 in splash to boot, negating almost all damage-if someone doesn't splurge MP on a stronger Guardian, anyways.

Roxxanne positions herself at F7; she attacks the Crimson Scale once, destroying it, following up with her Bloody Eruption Special on the Scale Behemoth, then a second basic attack on the Scale behemoth, finally using Blarksphere on it. She does not retreat. The Temmie Hero moves up to G7 and uses Wrath of the Hero, which mercifully only does damage to enemies in its wide Range 4 area, before bouncing back to H7. The Scale Serpent bites down on the Scale Behemoth, and retreats to D3.

at this point, only the Scale Behemoth is alive. Go kill it.

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 18:58:00

"Hey, come over here, ya wood and glue robot!"

Lyra can't reach Chairitomb. Lyra is angry at this.

[color=#CC99FF]"And out of the way, you other mecha!"

MOVE: F7 (D9-E9-F10-G9-G8-F7)
ATTACK: Chaos Saber 1
APPLY Sleep
RETREAT: H7

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 19:21:00

I move to D6 and whack the Scale Behemoth.

A WILD MESSAGE APPEARED!

A Row Missile is falling at (D9).
A Crater Missile is falling at (L9).
A Crater Missile is falling at (I10).
A Row Missile is falling at (C8).

(Message 2)


Originally posted on 2016-12-24 19:47:00

I place a totem (Earth) at J8.

Originally posted on 2016-12-24 19:56:00

If the Scale Behemoth is not dead yet, The Operative moves over to stand next to it, and then just reaches out and boofs it in the face with the back of his hand. Somehow that's exactly as damaging as his katana.

"Well? Off you go, then. Become dead or something."

In the meantime, a thought occurs to him. He closes his eyes and thinks for a moment, then opens his eyes again. And then he checks the inventory.

"Oh. Huh. I guess fishing is good for something after all, then."
[small][small][small][small][small]"Even though I'm fairly sure Cobalt isn't supposed to come from fishing crates"[/small][/small][/small][/small][/small]

Originally posted on 2016-12-25 01:01:00

Apparently there are only a few missiles this time: Crater Missiles L9 and M7, and a Column Missile at L3. Stay sharp!

Originally posted on 2016-12-25 01:14:00

I cast Firebomb at F8 while it explodes and I move 1 square left while Temcey tosses the Firebomb at G8, exploding near a Chaos Scalle and yolos 1 square right.

Originally posted on 2016-12-25 20:15:00