...Louisi was gone. Even from the immediate outside of the loaded map.

And, yet, just as soon as she left... she returned, as if warping back into the map. And she has someone behind her on the broom.

The new girl - probably Abigail - is sporting a very... unique getup. Well, unique for everyone else's standards, probably, in the fact that she looks completely normal.

Her incredibly long, straight, deep crimson hair trails behind her as the duo fly back down, and her immediately eye-catching generic baseball uniform:tm: and baseball cap, along with a very intimidating metal(?) baseball bat, completes the outwardly similar facial structure to her sister.

Once above the hole, Abigail hops off, her bat clanging with the floor and pushing away some of the loose snow the moment she lands. Louisi, on the other hand, gently floats down on the broom.

ABIGAIL: Hi, I'm Abigail!
ABIGAIL: Now, who's the twisted person that tore apart sis's hat?
LOUISI: Wow. Upfront much?

Louisi lazily points in Emericald's direction.

LOUISI: Anyway, that peckneck. Right there.
LOUISI: Might throw stuff at you. Buzzsaws, gasoline, the thing that TORE APART MY HAT.

Abigail giggles, holding a hand over her mouth as she does.

ABIGAIL: Aww, how mean!
ABIGAIL: Say no more, I have the perfect remedy!~

Abigail walks in front of her sister, stances up, and pulls out her bat, ready to swing it. And then... doesn't move an inch. She's staring directly at Emericald. Waiting. Watching.

Louisi has the look of being completely done with the shenanigans that Emericald (and now probably Abigail) were about to pull.

LOUISI: ...you cannot be serious right now

---

Cellblock Zeta

LOUISI: I'm not meant to be taking hits like this...
LOUISI: ...What? You think that just because I'm frail means I'm not a threat close up?
LOUISI: Think again, bozo.

Louisi uses a Scroll of Battering Ram eastwards to hit the Soldier and clean out the Rubble. She then moves to (R13) via Teleporter and shoots Soldier1 in the back with her bow. She retreats back into the teleporter to (W20).

[REC ROOM]

Percy wipes off his mouth on his sleeve. "Egh..." he murmurs, stepping out from behind the TV. "My mouth tastes like it just lost a Zerg Rush..."

He glances over at Emericald, but the thought of confrontation makes him feel sick all over again. Clutching his mouth with his fist, he trudges over to the Sofa and collapses face first on R5.

Percy glances over at Sag1, watching some movie about dead dogs?? Sounds kinda metal when you put it that way. But Percy decides to interrupt the Sagittarius enjoying their show.

"Dude," he asks, his face still half slumped in a cushion, "Sag. Aren't you- like- Greek? You guys don't even believe in Heaven, right? It's all Elysium or..." Percy frowns. "I can't ask my Lord if that's right or not..."

Percy kind of trails off. But then, more to himself, he adds, "Looks like I'm not the only one going through a hard time with my faith..." Yeah. I mean, the Sag got combusted. You can't search things online. Totally same level of crisis, here. Yeah. "Shut up..."

[CELL BLOCK ZETTA]

Percy. You successfully failed at saving that Hostage. "I thought it was a different room!" Apparently not. Seems like they're not gonna convert either, then. "Not if I save them!" Sure. Cause if at first you don't succeed, try try again, right? "Exactly." That was sarcasm. "Oh..." And you should probably stop talking to the voices in your head. "SHUT UP!" Jeez. Both of you?

Percy hops to X10, gets caught up by the rubble, grabs the Hostage on X9- "Hey. You still considering the Chrome Lord? I assure you. We are the best religious engine you'll find. Way better than Internet Explorer. I promise." -and shoves the hostage to W8- closer to the enemy, you know; meat shield tactics- as Percy himself advances to X8. (Percy moves to X8 and shoves the Hostage on X9 to W8.)

Honestly, I don't know if we're misunderstanding the rules or if everyone else is just abusing the system, but Percy, you've got to be the slowest person on the map right now. "I think it's just a biased sample. I am racing the safety inspector with dynamite in his shoes." Maybe...

Anyways, now that FAKE Sag1 is pinned, it's the perfect opportunity to launch an ACTUAL ZURG RUSH. 0's flying everywhere. He is the One of a Thousand Zeroes! A *ahem* "mere fraction of His power" surges from Percy's shield, blitzing the Sag's HP bar!

Percy basic attacks Sag1 with his Zergs!

And as the storm subsides, another Page appears on W9! This time with... Direct Hit, again. Sure.

The Page's presence is MENACING!!! STILL!!!

Blaster remembers he exists, and spawns at N11.

He then casts Sharp Shadow on the Avatar, planting an Apocalypse Rune at N10, ending up at N9, then basic attacks the Avatar.

"Sorry guys, the connection here seems unstable. Sweet, a raid boss!"

Hall of a bunch of statues that exists for some reason

"...Weird."

Veldanura inspects the state of herself once she realizes it just upticked a new stat.

"Why and how do they know how to do that..."


Battle - Cellblock Zetta

Monnobaki is severely injured and mildly annoyed. And also aware of having a sentry aimed at her.

"...No thank you, I choose life. At least, to the degree that I can have life in my current state..."

She moves to V6 and selfcasts Megabless.

FF isn't on fire anymore, but she's still stuck in Gay Bunny Jail. She starts repeatedly jumping towards the corner of her square—
FUSEE: please no
FF: yahoo yahoo yahoo ya ya yayayayyyyy
—and BLJs directly into the TV.

Cellblock Zeta:
• Move to H5.
• Flare the Avatar. 12MP, Blind5, Ensnared4.

Rec Room

/ill reply to this next round

Cellblock Zetta

Emericald Botches tile E10 to turn it blank, then moves to E12. The Wisp throws the Hostage into the teleporter, then moves to I9, ticks its Blizzard Aura, and hits the Screamer with Energy Drain.

== TURN NINE==

Posts under this post will be counted for the next round of combat. ..unless you ping me and specify its for this dop!

This Update Sponsored By: me having a cold bwaah

---

Scope Creep acknowledges that the stack of chairs is on fire. It bursts into flames. Doomsday has come once more.

---

Abigail arrives! And Louisi! But Abigail is new! She threatens Emericald. Emericald presumably stares back.

"ADMINISTRATOR": ..wait.
"ADMINISTRATOR": How did you. Get here? It's- it's a simulation! You can't just.. jump through..

The Administrator silently floats over to the hole in the ceiling and stares up at it.

---

Percy chats with the Sagittarius! It stares at him.

SAGITTARIUS: I HAVE NOT BEFORE CONSIDERED RELIGION.
SAGITTARIUS: NAME IS: UNRELATED. REASON FOR THIS MONIKER LISTED IN DOCUMENTATION FILES AS "it sounded cool".
SAGITTARIUS: WHAT 'LORD' DO YOU SPEAK OF? CURIOSITY.

---

Veldanura inspects the statue of herself. Where did it get all this info?

"ADMINISTRATOR": I thought the statues would be a nice touch.
"ADMINISTRATOR": You know. Commemorate our.. valued testers. Give them little monuments in the game.
"ADMINISTRATOR": Marks of their progress, and all. Studies show people like cool statues of themselves. At least, I know I do. That seems like a good enough sample size.

---

There is a very loud crash as F.F.. backwards long jumps out of the Hall of Players. Instantly clipping through walls, she ZOOMs across the room, crashing directly into the TV. It proceeds to topple over, still playing All Dogs Go To Heaven 2.

---

Cellblock Zetta

...Well, that's your first player death. And to a DoT, no less. Well, well. The Avatar is already on its last legs, and its death will deal pretty major damage to the remaining Praetors. Yet, the Sentries are closing in, and party HP isn't looking too hot. Do you have what it takes to close the distance and finish the fight? I'm sure you do.

also if you give parsnip another status or two he'll get Megadeath

[BATTLE]

The Windling moves to K8, putting a Wall between it and Sentry3, and attacks Sentry1.
Scope Creep does not move, or seem to do anything. But... the Sunling's corpse opens its eyes*.

*or whatever the equivalent is**.
**this is actually just Scope Creep summoning another Sunling, with Stats appropriate to the 2 buff levels from the nearby Corpse.
It's not tri-attacking the Avatar because it has 0 DGE. also Scope Creep doesn't bother throwing a knife this round because apparently it is too skilled at Knife Throws.

{Blue_Effect(Sentry1);} //Scope Creep didn't target the Sentry, the Windling did.

Parsnip takes the sensible approach now that he’s being targeted by so many enemies and bwaaahs to the Telenode at S12, teleporting over to D15. He than Bonus Winds Trecim with +2 Buff Levels for 20 MP and than Meditates for the final time.


Also I remind the GM that Parsnip dodged an attack last turn and should have healed himself with that.

Rec Room Firefly does nothing this turn, since Urus has finals.
FUSEE: who the hell is Urus
FF: itima balls
FUSEE: bwaah

• Move to J6.
• Basic Attack on M11. Guaranteed kill on Avatar and N11 Thorn Patch.

[REC ROOM]

Percy actually perks up a bit from the Sag's curiosity. "Oh," he blurts, having not expected the Sag to respond. He pulls himself up off the floor, taking an actual seat. Then, with tired reverence, he names, "He is The Chrome Lord. The One of a Thousand Zeroes. The Capital G. The Engine of Discovery." He takes a dramatic pause, then throws his hands up in the air, shouting, "He is. GOOGLE!"

Lowering his hands, Percy bites his tongue, shaking his head with spite. "Of course," he adds, "I'm not so sure He's that great anymore. That rich bozo over there-" He points at Emericald, getting threatened by some red-head with a baseball bat. "-says the Lord is a sellout." His eyes go wide. "I mean, a God! How low can He be!? Abandoning me for a new robot bod!"

Percy sighs. "I mean, He's a God. He has His own priorities. But sending me here for nothing!" His head droops to his chest. Quietly, he admits, "He had me thinking you all were heretics..."

His gaze returns to the Sag. "And I guess He wasn't technically wrong, you being atheists and all. But that's different. You're not Snail Mail anti-Internet cultists or anything. Just..." Percy frowns, realizing he still doesn't quite know what's going on. Instead, he just sighs. "It isn't right..." He trails off, trying to watch All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 on the fallen screen.

[CELL BLOCK ZETTA]

Percy just stares at the Hostage. "Um..." He seems oddly stumped. "Yes...? Chrome is obviously better than Bin-" Then he realizes what's bothering him. "Wait wait wait," he insists. "How have you heard about Bing, but not Chrome!? Chrome is like..." Percy doesn't even know how to describe it. He huffs. "You know what. This isn't worth my time." He grabs the Hostage and lifts them over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Go! Be free! And know the Chrome Lord has sent you to freedom!"

Using his Bonus Action and 3 MOV, Percy chucks the Hostage on W8 three squares over to X5.

...Percy. You really are terrible at recruiting people into your cult. "Religion." Whatever you say. "And the Chrome Lord is always searching. If I cannot bring them to God, God will find them." ...That's certainly an optimistic view on things. "I'm Feeling Lucky."

Then, he turns to Sag1. "CLONE!" he shouts, opening up his War Tome. "BEGONE!!!"

Percy activates his Special! AGAIN! This time, though, as he opens his map, his finger falls upon the little figure of himself. He pinches his image, and he begins to float in the air.

"DIVINE PILE DRIVER!" he shouts, using Drag and Drop to teleport to V7, telefragging into Sag1. "YEEHAW!"

Then, as Percy is shunted over a square, the Page comes out of nowhere. Flying into (V8 or W8), THE PAGE STABS SAG1! MENACINGLY!

...Those Pages are murder.

Trecim moves to C17, teleports to W4, moves to U4, and uses Explosive Chamber on Sag2.

Rec Room

...While her sister engages in a standoff against Emericald (who is not doing much at the moment), Louisi wanders off to chat with the admin. She huffs at the question.

LOUISI: Well, wouldn't you like to know a witch's secrets?
LOUISI: Look buddy, I'm in a peck-y mood right now. Can you not.

...She looks left, then right, then behind. Odds are everone's paying attention to her sister at the moment. So she gets a little closer and starts whispering.

LOUISI: ...Fine. Seems like nobody's listening in.
LOUISI: One, tech and magic stuff ain't so different. Easy enough to just. Pop in this little digital world.
LOUISI: Two, sis would probably get pissy if I didn't bring her somewhere fun.
LOUISI: Three, I've already set up spells to take the both of us out of here if this sim ever shuts off or something really bad happens.
LOUISI: Four, yes, I'm implying that I'm also real in here too. Yep.
LOUISI: Five, no, the Louisi in the battle right now who just ate dirt isn't real and is simulated as intended.
ABIGAIL: Hm?
LOUISI: Nothing more to worry about, sis.
LOUISI: Now, unless SOMEONE interrupts me again...

Louisi flops face-down on the couch next to the fireplace, instantly knocking herself out.

Abigail continues watching and waiting for Emericald to try something. She appears to be getting bored of doing so already.

ABIGAIL: You gonna like. Do anything?
ABIGAIL: Man, you're boring.

She's tempted to poke the aggressively capitalistic vamprobabilitant with her bat.

---
Cellblock Zetta

Louisi ate dirt. Ow. Though she does mutter a few words to Soldier1.

LOUISI: shouldn't you be eating dirt with me or something
LOUISI: also screw you and your counterattack

Soldier1 then, presumably, updates to be Downed due to being at 0 HP.

Then, she's revived.

LOUISI: Didn't think anyone would want me back. Thanks.

Louisi warps to (T12) via Telenode, then (V13). With Sag1 hopefully down thanks to Percy's efforts, Louisi decides to do a little smiting of her own.

She shoots another Ceasefire round at Sentry3.

LOUISI: That's a cute buff you have there. It'd be a shame if you weren't able to use it... oh, wait. Hehehehe.~

Hall of a bunch of statues that exists for, as it turns out, a rather well-defined reason

"Hm."

Veldanura considers the statues of herself and her sister for a moment. Then she nods in approval.

"I see. "

She moves into the next room, almost instantly stepping into a bunch of water and recoiling in disgust. Sensing that it's not too deep, she crouches a little and scrapes the floor beneath with her sword, then watches the water drain away into that gash in the floor... despite the fact that there shouldn't be a way for it to drain from that little of a gap, all things considered.


Battle - Cellblock Zetta

Monnobaki senses the presence of a downed teammate.

"I also choose this person's life. Let me just... figure out the way down there..."

She pauses for a moment to look around, then sees exactly what she was looking for...

She moves to W4 via the boosters, then takes the telenode to W20. Since Soldier1 should be deceased, she moves over to T17, then casts Revive on Louisi.

== TURN TEN==

Posts under this post will be counted for the next round of combat. ..unless you ping me and specify its for this dop!

This Update Sponsored By: nothing in particular

---

Percy talks sorrow and religion with the Sagittarius. It listens with.. surprising interest?

SAGITTARIUS: PERHAPS THE BUSINESSMAN IS INCORRECT IN HIS JUDGEMENT OF YOUR DEITY.
SAGITTARIUS: PERHAPS YOUR LORD IS SIMPLY MEANING TO: Test You | Challenge You | Was Bored | Thought It Was Funny | Liked Idea Of Battling (2) Present Evil Businessmen.
SAGITTARIUS: VOID IS: BIG. ACCORDING TO DATA VALUES. MANY VARIED RELIGIONS WITHIN. LIKELY FAITH NOT NEED BE BLACK AND WHITE.

The Sagittarius regards All Dogs Go To Heaven 2. Itchy's collar just vanished. He's a ghost again. The Sagittarius shakes its head.

---

"Administrator" listens to Louisi, their grabby-hands taking the pose of famous sculpture The Thinker.

"ADMINISTRATOR": Fascinating. I hadn't realized we had recruited such.. enterprising individuals for this test.

"Administrator" very pointedly tries not to look at Emericald.

"ADMINISTRATOR": Even if you may have made a mild mess of. About everything. Mildly horribly.
"ADMINISTRATOR": ..Hm. This last test will be a interesting one, then.

Louisi ignores this ominous statement to take a nice nap. She has become sleeper, haver of dream.

---

Veldanura moves onto the mysterious extra room, and.. drains the majority of the water. Her community service nets her one Karma, which isn't received because the stat is dummied out. The gash in the floor sits there. Menacingly. Maybe that's where all the water that flooded the cellblock came from. Lore?

---

Cellblock Zeta

Stepping through the portals in the Cellblock, the party enters into a new arena- harsh light shining down onto them from the ceiling. The Administrator’s little robot from the rec room is present, hovering near the top of the arena with a little camcorder.

"ADMINISTRATOR": Perfect, perfect.
"ADMINISTRATOR": I do believe it’s time for your final test.
"ADMINISTRATOR": This is a.. Personal design of mine. A little twin to that little gift I gave you to replenish your numbers in the previous sim.
"ADMINISTRATOR": Try not to ding them up too much, eh? Of course, perhaps you’ll need to be more worried of what he does to you.

There’s a loud roaring noise, as from the ceiling drops a.. Box. With massive force it slams into the ground, the metal container sending cracks forming across the floor. The box shakes- then proceeds to unfold, all of it's sides retracting into the ground, to reveal..

A hexagon?

No, really. It’s just a floating red hexagon. At least, for a moment. Only a few seconds after it is revealed, another hexagon appears- and then another. The red hexagon begins to duplicate itself, rapidly forming a entire network of floating connected shapes. The hexagon army then folds inward- forming a body, a crude model with two legs and two arms, two bright hexagon eyes, and what seems to be a comedically large hammer slung over it's shoulder. The hexagons whir, and another duplicates- folding into a mouth. A second later, more hexagons form into a array of guns popping out of its shoulders and back. It levels its weapons at the party.

???: UNIT LINK ESTABLISHED.
???: UNIT DESIGNATION “HEXAGON” LOADED.
HEXAGON: PREPARING FOR BATTLE.
HEXAGON: HELLO, WORLD.



HEXAGON
Six Sided Savant

PLAY - Versus (ULTRAKILL)




..Hexagon levitates a foot into the air, eyes locking onto the party. It seems that gameplay mechanics are giving you the chance to act first here- give it your all!

Rec Room

QUOTE (Adria @ May 7 2023, 01:28 AM)

Abigail continues watching and waiting for Emericald to try something. She appears to be getting bored of doing so already. ABIGAIL: You gonna like. Do anything? ABIGAIL: Man, you're boring. She's tempted to poke the aggressively capitalistic vamprobabilitant with her bat.

Emericald, who has been ignoring the proceedings of the past few rounds in favor of tinkering with a small grey device, finally looks up from his work. A myriad variety of tiny screwdrivers stick upright from the small metal pod's innards.

EMERICALD: ...
EMERICALD: Oh, hello.
EMERICALD: Are you... threatening me...?

Emericald opens his eyes. Gone is the omnipresent "^-^" face, and now Abigail is met with... a surprisingly stoic face, his dull greenish-blue eyes devoid of all sparkle.

EMERICALD: ...What are you going to do with that big bat...?
EMERICALD: Are you really going to hit me?
EMERICALD: Better make it count.
EMERICALD: Better make it hurt.
EMERICALD: Better kill me in one shot.

Battle

Emericald trots in on D9 before moving to F8 and summoning his Wisp on F9. He observes Hexagon quietly.

EMERICALD: ...
WISP: HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CORPORAL
EMERICALD: ...Oh, hello, Sergeant.
SGT. EXPLOSION: ENOUGH SMALL TALK, CORPORAL! GET ME THAT MACHINE IMMEDIATELY.

Emericald sighs.

EMERICALD: ...very well.
EMERICALD: Excuse me, Administrator. Is the boss for sale? My... colleague-
SGT. EXPLOSION: I AM HIS IMMEDIATE SUPERIOR.
EMERICALD: ...my colleague would evidently like to purchase one. How much for it?

Rec Room

Abigail stands there. She doesn't even bat an eye (heh) at Emericald's ominous statement. Actually, she seems... pleased?

ABIGAIL: Oh good, you're actually alive!
ABIGAIL: Funny, I was about to poke you.
ABIGAIL: Like... dunno, a dead animal!

She giggles and hefts the bat over her shoulder. She then pulls a baseball out of her sleeve.

ABIGAIL: Catch!~

She then... gently lobs it to Emericald's hands. What.

ABIGAIL: ...What?

She takes several steps backwards, not taking her eyes off of Emericald.

ABIGAIL: Did you think I was actually gonna cave your skull in, silly?
ABIGAIL: Nah. You should've seen the look on your face, though! Priceless! Hehehe~

The girl stances up again.

ABIGAIL: I mean, obviously, beating you senseless isn't gonna bring sis's hat back.
ABIGAIL: So, I figured I might as well have a bit o' fun instead!

oh god and louisi's asleep too

ABIGAIL: Now, come onnnn, I'm waaaaaitiiiiiing!~

---
THUNDERDOME

LOUISI: Finally, something that won't crumple over and die in one hit.

Louisi goes first.

Louisi spawns at (D9), moves to (F7), casts Decaying Sigil - Lockdown centered on Hexagon, then retreats to (E6).

LOUISI: Ahhh, the dilema! Reposition and be super hurt, or stay still and let us wail on you!

[WORLD]
Scope Creep hovers itself in front of the Administrator again and releases another four-layer statement.

(contained sentences:
I am also here in truth (blue)
Recruited is the wrong word (gold)
Finally you grasp the TRUTH of TRUTH (white)
A Hexagon has six sides, but two worlds (red))
[Semi-BATTLE]
Scope Creep, without going through the portal, appears-equipment and all (though mildly changed)- as a series of expanding orbs which quickly reach the size of a proper Scope Creep on C9. Scope Creep then continues to expand and deform further, until there are two, separate Scope Creeps. The second Scope Creep travels through one of the various portals to the original(?) Scope Creep in Cellblock Zetta, and the two shrink into nothing.

A perfectly ordinary instance of a fourth-dimensional S shape.

Scope Creep's Weatherlings try to go through the portals or throw a corpse through them. They probably fail, but they try.

[BUILD CHANGE]
If valid, the Manaphage Catalyst is dropped for the new Custom Weapon, 'Goldlight Limbs'. The Trinket Slot previously occupied by the Custom Trinket 'Goldlight Limbs' is replaced with the non-custom Trinket Coupon (resist: Fire. +10% Weatherling Damage.), with 2 KP dropped from SPC to replace Grave Undertaking with Loaded Spellbook, as this build lacks bonus actions to compete with Dragging and I'm never going to not be casting a spell anyway.

The Custom Weapon, 'Goldlight Limbs', resembles the Aetherokinetic Bracer, but: instead of boosting DEF, it boosts SKI; it has better range; instead of Crushing, it deals Light; it has less HIT; and instead of restoring MP on basic attack, it works while not the active weapon.

Alternatively, Manaphage Catalyst is swapped for Cyclone Whistle (regrettably, I can't shuffle my stats to make this not change them.). It simply wasn't useful enough. At least Cyclone Whistle is a Bonus Action.

(I assume two Crystalline Amplifiers cannot function at once, otherwise the obvious choice is 'Crystalline Amplifier x2'.)
alternatively, the Goldlight Limbs are like the arctic whisper, but they produce doors-
[BATTLE]
Scope Creep (having spawned on C9) casts Rainling to D10, with the Amplifier in Buff Levels mode. In the unlikely event the new Goldlight Limbs have enough Range to hit Hexagon, Hexagon is bopped.

Zalek silently spawns at D9, moves to E9, and fires off a shot from his Gunblade at Hexagon.

Parsnip swaps out Weatherling for Purify as promised and enters the Battlefield at D9 and moves to D5 because scary ice crystal. He bonus Wimdy Louisi with +2 Buff Levels than Meditates. This is going to be a test of healing prowess for him and Aqua.