Orbital Laser to unleash its special on the Mammoth

Farmer, you know what to do,+Divine Shield onto Farmer as a chorus of Angels sing

3 Audience Power Points expended!
Suggestion: Orbital LAZOR Satellite, BLARGH the Mammoth
Divine Shield: Targeting Determined Farmer!


Round 16:
The Farmer picks themselves up and marches steadily towards the center of the arena.

At the center of his focus of attention, the Enderdragon has reengaged with the Giant Squid. The Squid lunges at the Dragon with its tentacles, only for the Dragon's deft movements to manuever it in between the Squid's tentacle strikes and launch it into the air much the same as the Mammoth was. The Squid retaliates by finally landing a substantial hit on the Dragon with a bolt of bubbles, leaving the dragon rather miffed at its foe.

And then the farmer charges in. It springboards off of one of the spiked slimes and then off the top of the King Slime, launching up high into the air. Lightning flashes dramatically as the Determined Farmer reaches the peak of his height. The dragon turns to face him as he comes soaring towards it and lurches at him. Is the dragon attempting... a counterattack? Oh dear, that's totally blatantly against the rules but its doing so anyways.

The Dragon unleashes a massive gout of flame towards the Farmer, but as it seems like the purple inferno will engulf him he feels a warm light within his chest.
FIERY RESOLVE!
The Farmer bursts into flame as he feels his determination burst into physically manifested fire and he launches forwards, the white blazing heat of his own soul pushing through the dragon's wall of fire with no trouble at all. He skims across the dragon's body, slamming his pitchfork into its scales and ripping them free as he slows himself to a stop and charges up its length. The dragon twists and contorts in the air, trying to throw him off but as it spins around he leaps up and then swoops back down to embeds the tip of his farming instrument into its softer underbelly. The dragon screeches and grabs him to stop his assault.

BOOM! The King Slime and its mini-slimes having seen the Farmer's plight, have slammed themselves into one of the pillars. It crumbles and shatters, sending a pulse of dark light slamming into the Enderdragon. The Enderdragon howls and drops him, allowing the Farmer to clamber back up on its back and hack away at it once more. The Dragon dives towards the ground, wrapping around to try and body-slam the Farmer into the hard stony earth below.

Another explosion rocks the battlefield. NoLegs looks up at the sky with a sly >:3 as he carves into the crystal atop another obsidian pillar and then slams his blade into the obsidian and slides down around the pillar in a spiral. The pillar crumbles and explodes, sending another pulse of dark light into the Ender dragon, which shrieks and plummets from the sky.

The Farmer continunes hacking away at the dragon, his damage already far surpassing the normal 2,000 he should usually be afforded but it isn't quite enough just yet. So he backflips up off the dragon.
FIERY RESOLVE: Expended. DETERMINATION BREAKER LAUNCH
The white flame becomes mixed with a searing red glow that forms around him as he stares down the falling dragon. He breaths deeply and the fire imbues into the pitchfork. He launches it.

The dragon hits. The pitchfork hits. The entire stadium is blinded by the flare of light.

Enderdragon killed.

The Wooly Mammoth looks at all of that with awe. Maybe this fight wasn't winnable? Wait hold on wasn't it supposed to be hitting the ground this roun- the mammoth never finishes that thought. Not because it hits the ground, but because the satellite promptly vaporized it entirely with its special move. The sound of a distant 'trololololol' is heard from the skies above.

The Determined Farmer, fully exhausted from his massive combo before, slams into the ground. Barely still breathing, he thanks the stars, godmodders, and whoever else might be responsible for his success. The last obsidian pillar, not having any kind of master left, pulses some healing into him, bringing him back to his feet just barely. The fight's not quite over yet.


End of Round:
+0 APP


Field Status:
Determined Farmer: [Team 1] HP: 1,500/8,000. Pitchfork Expended.
King Slime: [Team 1] HP: 31,000/40,000.
Spiked Slime [Team 1] HP: 3,000/3,000. (x2)
NoLegs: [Team 1] HP: 41,000/60,000. Dash Attack: 2/3. Hiding behind: no one.
Orbital LAZOR Strike Satellite: HP: 10,000/30,000. BLAAAAAAAAAARGH: 1/5
Giant Squid: HP: 35,000/50,000. Ink Shot: 2/2. (Launched: 2 rounds.))
Squid Tentacle: HP: 5,000/5,000. (x4)
Obsidian Pillar: HP: 10,000/10,000.

Audience Power Points: 1
The Fallen: Evil Skylanders Figurines, Hatsune Miku, Minion Potato Cop Car, LEGO Howard the Duck, Combine Harvester, Healing Toaster, Enderdragon.
(Wooly Mammoth)


OOC: This battle is basically over. I will be doing the next update regardless of if anyone posts or not. Technically the outcome could be changed slightly if the right entity were given the right suggestion, but I think everything's mostly ready. After next round you guys will get the ending vote.

*the Awakened Paradox is too busy consuming large quantities of Cheesecake and Mint Chocolate Ice Cream into his Maw in Dragon Form*

Farmer: Convince the remaining entities to join you. If you fail, see them off honorable. With murder.

1 Audience Power Point expended!
Suggestion: Determined Farmer, convince the remaining entities to join your team. Kill those who refuse.


Round 17:
The farmer looks around, wondering if any of the remaining entities could perhaps join the team... it doesn't look like it. The squid's about to...
The squid, thanks to divine intervention and an odd trajectory, slams into the side of the arena instead of the ground. Having been equally launched as the mammoth even if in the wrong direction, this kills the squid instantly on account of having less health with which to survive such a launch.
Giant Squid killed!

From there there isn't a ton of work to do. The King Slime gives NoLegs a boost up into the sky far above the arena, where he carves up the orbital satellite until it falls to the ground in a fiery explosion. The King Slime jumps on the last remaining obsidian pillar, smashing it completely.
Orbital LAZOR Satellite destroyed! Last Obsidian Pillar smashed!


Ladies and gentlemen, here we are again!

A bombastic conclusion to the match, hm?

But it's not quite over yet!

Of course, we still have to do the Victory Decision!


Victory Decision Engaged:
Team Victory: 0. Individual Victory: 0.
Vote now on your phones! Or whichever electronic device you're using I guess.


Current battlefield, in case you want to base your decision on current stats for some reason:
Determined Farmer: [Team 1] HP: 1,500/8,000. Pitchfork Expended.
King Slime: [Team 1] HP: 31,000/40,000.
Spiked Slime [Team 1] HP: 3,000/3,000. (x2)
NoLegs: [Team 1] HP: 41,000/60,000. Dash Attack: 3/3. Hiding behind: no one.

Audience Power Points: 0
The Fallen: Evil Skylanders Figurines, Hatsune Miku, Minion Potato Cop Car, LEGO Howard the Duck, Combine Harvester, Healing Toaster, Enderdragon, Wooly Mammoth and Giant Squid, Orbital LAZOR Strike Satellite.

TEAM VICTORY!

Team victory.

Team Victory: 2
Individual Victory: 0

Team victory once again!

VICTORY GOES TO: Team Harvesters
Whoa wait that's actually a decent name.

When did this farmer become actually cool.

The three surviving entities all make their way to the trophy stand, and the Farmer raises it up over his head and cheers to a roaring crowd. He then takes the microphone.
"Alright then y'all, I'm gonna be speakin for my friends here, since they ain't really got voice a their own, yeah?
King Slime o'er here wants to say a big thank ya to all his folks back home. He considers his subjects with extreme thankfulness and whatnot, wants 'em to know that there'll be a celebration or such.
NoLegs ain't got much ta say. He just wants his owners to know that he's doin alright and hopes they see each other again soon.
As fer myself? well, I owe a big thanks to my big brother, Angriest. I'll see ya after the whole afterthing, aight?"
And with that it closes. Our victors have been decided.

Once again, our rollcall from each character in order of summoning.



Good night folks!


OOC: Thanks to everyone who stuck around for Season 2. I hope it was a satisfactory experience.

OOC time:
Hello everyfolk who happens to be watching Statstick Arena, I have made an additional change to how I'm doing things.

The summons will now get pointless point values of their performances. I have a system of points that goes from 0 to 25 based on four factors that will sorta judge how well an entity has done across all of their fights.

The system is three different point values out of five, one for Effectiveness, one for Spectacle, one for Drama. Then, 5 more points are awarded to all entities that win that round. Another 5 are awarded to the winner if they are the only summon to win.
Functionally, this means that pretty much no entity will ever cap out above 20, but in the meantime you can go check the Hall of Fame back in the opening post of the thread.

In other news, the Audience Powers have gotten new options. The Idiot Ball and Disaster Juice. These are basically the opposite of Liquid Badbutt and Divine Shield respectively. Idiot Ball makes the targeted entity more likely to have their damage reduced or negated through flavor text, Disaster Juice makes the damage they take more likely to be increased through flavor text. Both of these powers cost 2.
Additionally the Camera Filter has been changed to no longer have a cost. It instead cannot be used more than twice a round.


And now, back to your regularly scheduled program.


...Is it on?

Think so.

How about that.

Welcome one and all to the latest run of Statstick Arena!

Depending on your timeline, you may or may not know that Statstick Arena has been down for maintenance the last two years as a result of the Alpacalypse summoned when the Llama Lord returned with an unsactioned snowballed army to try and destroy the arena.

It made for quite the finale! ...And also quite the repair bill. We only barely broke even, and that didn't leave room to pay employees to get this whole place up and running again...

Except Piono stepped in and paid the bills!

What we're trying to say is that Piono owns the arena now and we're at his mercy as far as what we do goes, should he decide to excercise that power.

Fortunately all he wants right now is for us to resume doing the old pseudo free for alls.

Now, a lot of people requested the return of the Angry Farmer and certain other entities, but unfortunately a large portion of the cast has gone their own ways since the Alpacalypse, so none of them are actually here for this round.

We don't actually know where any of the Season 2 newcomers are. Or if they even still exist. They say that war is hell but they've never seen an enraged alpaca...

Anyways, yes. We're back! And better than ever after a couple of seasons of recovery time! In the meanwhile just prepare yourselves for a somewhat mediocre showing to keep you all tided over until the proper events of this season begin!

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!


And so it begins once again...

WAVE I

The crowd, though rather diminished from last time cheers as the summoning aparatuses whir to life. And then the cheering dies down when they see what's been summoned. Muffled confusion reigns instead.
Potted Plant, Garbage Can, and Creeper summoned.


...We used to be a respectable establishment...

No we didn't.


Field Status
Potted Plant. HP: 5,000/5,000. Am-Bush 0/3.
Garbage Can. HP: 5,000/5,000.
Creeper. HP: 10,000/10,000

Audience Power Points: 2
The Fallen: None yet.

The Creeper suddenly heard Revenge playing...this somehow enrages it

...

Man, this place really went downhill...*summons my Immortal as reading material*...can’t be worse then this though...*creates a mint chocolate sundae to snack on while waiting

1 Audience Power Point expended!
Suggestion: Creeper get angry at audience shenanigans.


Round 1:
The Creeper hears one of the most racist songs it has ever heard, so racist it makes the creeper's blood boil! It doesn't even have blood! It screams as loudly as it can. which comes out as a hiss because it's a creeper.

It charges straight forwards towards the other combatants in a manner consistent with creepers. It is their turn, if they can take out the creeper first it won't go off because of the extra effect on the creeper's thing slowing it down this round!

Of course, they don't. Because they are a potted plant and garbage can respectively. The garbage can spits out some wadded up pieces of paper and a chunk of poorly disposed of batteries wrapped in string, but that doesn't do much.

The Creeper dives into the middle of them, and there is a big explosion, from which a mighty grand total of 0 things emerge thanks to the creeper's immense rage allowing it to hit everything instead of just one target.


End of round:
+2 APP


WAVE II

The audience in muffled shock augmented by even deeper confusion, the summoners whir to life once again. The new layout is not much better.
Unsettling Teapot and Battle Droid Squad summoned!


I. I have no words.

Every one of these things seems to start with something like this.


Field Status
Unsettling Teapot. HP: 7,500/7,500
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x10). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x10)

Audience Power Points: 3
The Fallen: Potted Plant, Garbage Can, Creeper

The song shifts into a demented remix of “I’m a little teapot short and stout” and the itsy bitsy spider


*continues reading through mountain of fanfics*

Do what Paradox said.

(Okay, I have no idea what you guys were trying to do with that action, it has not been processed)
0 Audience Power Points expended.


Round 2:
Rogerio Rogers was confused. This was nothing new, confusion was still a constant state of being for him as of one week ago when he somehow managed to convince a troupe of battle droids that he was their commander.

This probably wouldn't have been too bad if that didn't qualify him for entityhood. He'd been dragged into two different fights so far, this being the third and most recent, and he was very glad the Curse of Repetition had been outlawed a long time ago because he'd died both of the other times and didn't consider his luck all that outstanding. But he was here, and he was going to try and make the best of it.

He looked out across the field. ...his entity senses told him that the teapot on the other side of the arena was his opponent, which made no sense but fine he'd put up with it. He pointed, and with a chorus of ROGER ROGERs the battle droids opened fire upon the distant teapot as a singular spider scurries out of the way of the wild barrage of lasers.


End of round:
+2 APP


Pew pew pew.

*sarcastic snoring sounds*


Field Status
Unsettling Teapot. HP: 4,000/7,500
Teaspider. HP: 1,500/1,500
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 5,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x10). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x10)

Audience Power Points: 5
The Fallen: Potted Plant, Garbage Can, Creeper

(As no one has posted I consulted some real life individuals and they have put forward: tell the battledroid commander to command his battle droids harder)
1 Audience Power Point expended!
Suggestion: Battle droid commander, command your battle droids harder.


Round 3:
Rogerio feels a tingling in his head. Is he getting orders? He thought he didn't have a proper summoner... oh well.

...wait how is he supposed to command his droids harder. It doesn't... work like that? He decides to give it a shot anyways. He points forwards and gives a commanderly shout. The droids give their chorus of ROGER ROGER and... whoa wait did they actually aim CORRECTLY? All of the battle droids open fire at the singular same spot and by the time the blaster dust settles the teapot is no more.

Rogerio blinks. That wasn't the outcome he'd expected in all honesty. But it worked. He then yelps when the teaspider chomps down on his foot. He jumps back a few feet and points his own weapon at the spider and shoots it 20 times. It dies.


End of round:
+1 APP


FINAL WAVE

Mild cheering goes up among the stands. It's nice to have an actual, real combatant in your combat sequences. The summoners whir to life and summon one final entity...
Smol Ket summoned.


Why have we resorted to summoning kittens.

And more importantly why is it stronger than an entire squad of battledroids.


Field Status
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 4,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x10). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x10)
Smol Ket. HP: 3,000/3,000

Audience Power Points: 5
The Fallen: Potted Plant, Garbage Can, Creeper, Unsettling Teapot

Holding for suggestions:

JOE: >Rogerio, Command your battle droids... less hard. ask them to aim at the area Around the cat, but don't emphasise it too much. When they inevitably fail to aim due to your intentionally sub-par commanding, hopefully more then a tenth of the shots will hit the cat.

I suggest Rogerio command even harder.

2 Audience Power Points expended!
Suggestion: Battle Droid Commander, command less hard and order your battle droids to aim around the smol ket
Suggestion: Battle Droid Commander, command your droids EVEN HARDER


Round 4:
Rogerio feels the tingling once more, and gets extremely confused at the two orders with totally contradictory messages fighting for space in his brain. In an attempt to reconcile the two he orders one group even harder and vaguely gestures for the others to open fire in the general direction of their new foe, in the hopes that SOMETHNG will hit.

Amazingly, something does! The Smol Ket is barraged by laser blasts... but somehow survives. What a durable ket.


End of round:
+1 APP


...did that cat even do anything?

It's a ket, and I think so. Check it's statblock.

Yeah su- why are there claw marks all over my PDA?

...dern ket.


Field Status
Battle Droid Commander: HP: 4,000/5,000
Battle Droids (x9). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x9)
Smol Ket. HP: 1,000/3,000

Audience Power Points: 4
The Fallen: Potted Plant, Garbage Can, Creeper, Unsettling Teapot

Suggestion: Claw box on Droid Commander's back, Small Organic Feline Lifeform.

-Robot hating robot

1 Audience Power Point expended!
Suggestion: Smol Ket target box on back of Battle Droid Commander


Round 5:
The smol ket looks up at the battle droid commander. He doesn't SEEM to have any kind of box on his back. He looks like a middle aged guy with a laser gun. But sure, why not.

Rogerio just sorta waves in the general direction of the Smol Ket, assuming that his droids will get the idea. They do, and the massive barrage of lasers finally manages to kill the ket...

Of course, this doesn't help rogerio much, as the Smol Ket had already torn out his liver through the back of his ribcage. Press F to pay respects.


Victory Achieved
As there is no Team to potentially break up, victory has been assigned automatically.

Final battlefield because I guess I do that at the end as a thing now:

Battle Droids (x9). HP: 2,500/2,500 (x9)

Audience Power Points: 3
The Fallen: Potted Plant, Garbage Can, Creeper, Unsettling Teapot, Smol Ket