<ROUND 340>

Adria beholds true horror. Oh god, what is [REDACTED] doing? Why does it [REDACTED] [REDACTED] so rhythmically, its many [REDACTED] squirming [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]. Its best not to look at the thing too hard. Or think about it too hard. Or to exist in the general area too hard.

Meanwhile, Hannah does some work downstairs. Is she cooking up another existence-ruining poison? Can something like the Butterfly even be poisoned? And can Hannah withstand another fatal blow to her Karma? Probably. Karma poisoning isn't fatal, unless you happen to be the Author.

---

JOE attempts to steal WARE's Efficiency V Wooden Axe! Grabbing it from the back, he yanks it into the inventory despite his lack of fingers. WARE flails sadly in the general direction of JOE as he watches his precious axe enter the inventory, never to return. Wooden Axe obtained! That's... quite a good wooden axe.

JOE then attempts to resume his crafting efforts elsewhere on the planet, only to be rudely interrupted by a few Seekers being warped onto his crafting table, eating his materials, table, and remaining fingers. They're also generally just making a mess of the place- it's truly impossible to craft under these conditions! One of the Seekers pulls out a lawn chair, plants it down, and takes a seat before acting as a mouthpiece for WARE.

WARE: Let me put this in more concrete terms.
WARE: This is literally the final battle. You had time to craft a long time ago.
WARE: cease

The seeker stares at JOE, cross armed. this is an intervention

---

Alicia makes the world notice her! She step stomps on the floor, prompting some ire from the crowd around the television.

MARI: Shhhh! We're morbin' here!
MARI: That meme's still around, right?
MARI: Point is. Movie night. Shhhh. Sit down, and enjoy the extremely accurate lore-friendly vampirism.
BASS: what the hell is a vampire anyway

Meanwhile, up a floor, Auth stares at WARE. Does causing his Iti to possess Nana over and over again amuse him-

WARE: Yes.
WARE: It's funny.
WARE: Any questions?

Auth's eyes lock with WARE's.

WARE: What, you don't find this amusing, too?
WARE: Everyone's a critic.

WARE equips a set of cue cards. Flipping through them, it seems they're a lot of different Iti ideas. "Variant of the Naked Nest that possesses Nana." "Voodoo doll that possesses Nana." "Cute dog." "The Chaos Kin, but it possesses Nana." WARE sweats. Maybe he does need to change up his material.

---

Blacklight takes part in HOT GOSSIP. To begin, he notes that Cypress has been working with the Rebellion in secret. He doesn't really know anything about the secretary, though. Sakura blinks.

SAKURA: Eh? Father wasn't a paranoid piece of gorilla after all?
SAKURA: He was totally raving about how Cypress was working for the Rebellion, but I was like, "wow he's so paranoid" n' junk, y'know?
SAKURA: Because he's a paranoid old man.
SAKURA: And an alcoholic.
SAKURA: And a neglectful piece of gorilla.
SAKURA: And- well, you get the point.

Also, apparently Omorika's more addicted to coffee than she is alcohol.

SAKURA: Coffee? I mean, who said she can't be addicted to both alcohol and coffee?
SAKURA: Coffee in the day, alcohol at night. Or is it alcohol in the day, and coffee at night?
SAKURA: I dunno.

The rumor about a priestess with a gun, though... That's totally real.

SAKURA: W-Wait, she has a name?
SAKURA: T-There's a reality to t-this?
SAKURA: Why would a priestess have a gun, though? Who was like, "yes let us give this cute innocent priestess girl a GUN"?
SAKURA: Dumb idea.
SAKURA: ...Kinda cool, though.

SAKURA: Is she cute?
SAKURA: Small girl, small gun... I bet they make one hell of a duo.

Ah, Blacklight also produces a horrific cake from the inventory known as the Atrocity. Apparently, the lady responsible for giving Taeda a gun also made this cake. Sakura eyes up the cake, equipping a stick and poking it.

SAKURA: ...So, uh.
SAKURA: Can I... eat it?

While Sakura potential gets herself killed, Lato thinks that perhaps patrolling with Marron might be a good idea. Though, they might want to consult the local authorities whether or not there's any gaps to fill in the defenses.

MARRON: Alright, but... who the hell do we talk to, then?
MARRON: Like, I guess the Highchair, but they haven't exactly been on top of things here. Since y'know, Spherebreaking.
MARRON: No offense to them.
MARRON: Chi? Do you know anything?
CHI: As a matter of fact, I do.
CHI: According to information m-my...

Her gaze shifts from left to right. Nobody's watching.

CHI: My... "scouts", which I'm sure you've met with before, have identified many key security flaws within the city.
CHI: For instance, the city wall, while nearly impenetrable due to its defenders, does not extend below the city.
CHI: There is an extensive, relatively undefended sewer system.
CHI: While leading a full squadron through is... difficult, due to the cramped tunnels, we have sent a few scouts through to investigate.
CHI: There's some robotic defenses, but nothing that can't be overwhelmed or simply disabled.

CHI: We haven't been down there in awhile. If the Iti were to launch an all out siege upon the city, the walls could potentially hold, but were we to be flanked from down below...
CHI: Well, we would very much be surrounded and destroyed in seconds.
CHI: Though, I'm not sure what good two extra eyes would do, for an entire sewer system...

So, how about it? Two girls, one gigantic sewer system. Perhaps there's a better way to go about it, though? Maybe Lato has another trick or two up her potentially-existent sleeves.

---

<HEART OF THE SPHERE, ROUND EIGHT>
[REDACTED] is down! I'd take this chance to heal up, while also destroying Purple Star. With how injured a good deal of the party is, WARE's next Longform might result in a party wipe if not careful. Also, even if Purple Star perishes, don't think you're immediately free to play around with your MP: there's still Guilt and WARE's new Quick Post, Sanity's Eclipse! Manage your MP carefully, and you might get through this!

HEXMEXMISSILES: Attack Redacted.
HEXAGON: Move to T10. Have Vulcan move down to be range of Foam. Foam.
MEXAGON: Move down to O23. ..Refresh Chloe's foam????????

Actions for 340:

Keane soups up Echoss with enlightened using his special, then shoots REDACTED in the face. I think that's everything?

---

However...

RP post for 341:

OUTSIDE THE SPHERE
(specifically, at the Thymium Communion)

...They say time heals all wounds.

Keane McZupp, who has just attempted a frankly impossible orbital dive into the Thyme Matter Well and unequivocally fucked it up, thinks this is bullshit.

KEANE: ahahahooooowwwwwwww
KEANE: what the fuck
KEANE: just.
KEANE: ow.

His head throbs annoyingly as he sits up and looks around for the Fighter Jet, which is nowhere to be seen. He DOES have his staff-with-a-haphazardly-taped-on-credit-card, though.

KEANE: Great. I fucked it up so bad the Fighter Jet got deleted from existence.
KEANE: Fun!

Suddenly, Keane is overtaken with a momentary migraine as fucky wucky time shit embeds new memories into his brain!

And then... he realizes he didn't, in fact, fuck it up. He has memories of entering the Sphere and fighting the NaClestial there, now. And a few memories of WARE.

Which means...

KEANE: oh god dammit am i a fucking time clone
KEANE: i think i was supposed to be doomed but it didn't take because my time powers decided not to let it? or something??
KEANE: This sucks, actually.

Keane picks himself off the ground and stumbles down to the Apex of the World, sneaking past the still-sleeping Prinus.

KEANE: ...hang on, wait, this place doesn't look like the IRS.
KEANE: ...Oh no.

INSIDE THE SPHERE

KEANE: Wait, hang on, is this the Interdimensional Revenue Service headquarters, or am I lost...?

BACK OUTSIDE THE SPHERE

KEANE: ...Great.
KEANE: Okay, I think I'm just gonna explore a bit until this is all-

Keane accidentally misses a step on the staircase... and falls.

KEANE: ovEAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...EVERY SINGLE STAIR IN THE CITADEL LATER
AND PROBABLY A FEW MINUTES MORE

Keane slides to the world's least glorious stop a few feet from the doors to the House.

KEANE: I never want to see a spiral staircase again for as long as I live.
KEANE: ...oh, hey, a house.

Keane suddenly keels over in pain as more time memories enter his mind!

KEANE: ...Actually, wait, is this, like... the Spherebreakers' house?
KEANE: ...I wonder if they have aspirin in here or something.
KEANE: Wouldn't hurt to check, right?
KEANE: Here goes nothing, I guess.

Keane then enters the house... and beholds the spiral staircase in all its comically prominent glory.

KEANE: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

...And immediately after that, he notices Sakura and Blacklight.

KEANE: ...I mean, um...
KEANE: ...Hi?
KEANE: This is the, um... "Spherebreaker"'s house... right?
KEANE: The people who are trying to stop... something bad... from happening...'s place...?
KEANE: ...
KEANE: ...I have no idea where I am.
KEANE:
KEANE: Ugh, sorry, I'm a complete mess right now.
KEANE: It's been an eventful day.
KEANE: Oh, but where are my manners!

Keane takes a long, sweeping bow.

KEANE: My apologies for interrupting your conversation.
KEANE: Daniethyst Keanezite McZupp, at your service.

Crafting for 341:



Actions for 341:

Keane vortexes to O4, bonus action shoots ware, then moves to S4, casting his Ace in the Hole spell (Resurrect) on JOE.

[BATTLE - undecided]
Destroyer2 moves to J7 Symbiotes Yume moves to G4 Occular Cannons Reverie2 keeps moving to E4 and Guards.

[WORLD]

"Ow, my fingers."
As a deity of Farming, JOE takes some Silkweed from the Infinite Inventory Supply and puts it on his hand, where it magically turns into fingers. They aren't sturdy enough for tapping, but they'll do.
"Ah, there. Where were we... Hm, yes, you make an excellent point, good sir, however, there is a fundamental flaw in your argument. multiple, actually. Firstly, this is not the final battle, but the semifinal battle, because the final battle is going to be against the crimson conniption coincidentally corrupting copious communications conspicuously conveyed by claret coloration of charadely conversation, chaotically."
"second of all, although I had time to craft 'long ago', I did not have time to craft with any material past... by my recollection, tier four or so... then, as I was in a mystic stasis between the destruction of The Farm by foolish rebels, and the ascendance of the possibility of its revival. I only regained selfhood minutes before the Semisemifinal Battle, and spent most of that time collecting other resources in support of The Farm's potential re-ascension. By the time I had reached my goal in that regard, it was time for the Semifinal battle, which I have in fact spent as much of crafting as possible!"
"Third of all, Your minions literally just killed two of me. Why in the world would I listen to your requests?"
Of course, JOE wasn't idle while he said this! You see, first, he cast Illusory Trap and made an illusory trap of himself using excessively alliterative wordings. While the entire crimson conniption(...) bit was ongoing, JOE was secretly tapping all the non-avatar seekers to death, because Seekers have tap Natively, without Farmland.

Then, he returned to position and continued talking personally, while secretly casting Terraform to replace the Lawn Chair with a convincing stone replica- convincing to the limited sensory acuity of a Seeker, anyway, with an illusory trap to fool the visuals. The original Lawnchair is pushed off to the side, where JOE grabs it under the cover of making meaningless gesticulations in various directions.
[this is intended to steal the lawnchair, mostly]

[WORLD(2)]

"Anyway, thanks for the crafting materials!"
JOE proceeds to make use of his passable STR, his high RES, and passable SKI to grab this absolutely basic enemy and not let go regardless of how it attacks him, then securely ties up the Seeker with some Feather Rope Coils from the inventory, and Then puts it in a Cryotube. It's time... for What You Could Maybe Call Science*.
Once this pristine Seeker is fully stasis'd by the Cryotube, It's time to operate on it! the main problem with Seekers is that they're on WAREs side. So the first step is to scoop out the Seekers Brain! Now, normally this would kill the seeker instantly, but it's in stasis, so it can't die. But now, the seeker needs something to replace that, obviously, otherwise it'll just turn into a corpse. Really, there's two things here which need replacing- the parts that maintain life, and the parts that do things. For the parts that maintain life, the solution is simple!
Rotted Phoenix Down! You see, Rotted Phoenix down brings things back to life as mindless undead! That means this Seeker will have all the life stuff, but no mind for doing things. But that's fine, that's what step two is! Y'know what the BEST use for a mindless Seeker is? A MECH SUIT. Everyone knows the best Mech Suits are flimsy things you can barely fit in which can die in one hit by almost anything. There's only one problem- This Seeker isn't a flimsy thing you can barely fit in, it's a flimsy thing you can't even fit in! There's only one solution: It needs to be expanded! so, JOE carefully slashes the Seekers muscle fibres and skin and such, pulls at the surrounding area until a gap opens, and drips Thyme Matter on the gap. Through this method, the Seekers flesh is slowly pulled into being a larger version of the same creature. JOE also makes sparing use of Royalmatter for parts that look important, like the Seeker's Mouth. After the process has been concluded, there's just one more problem- how will the people who put on this Seeker Suit control it? Well, that's simple enough! JOE takes one of those Maxim Legs out of the inventory and stabs it into the back of the Seeker Suit, making sure to angle it juuuust right so that it pierces both the suit and a place someone wearing the suit would have to occupy, linking the two!
With all the other work out of the way, JOE finally administers the Rotted Phoenix Down as discussed above, making his abomination come to mindless life. IT LIVESSS[citation needed]!

*abomination-making counts as WYCMCScience.

This is intended to make an Item which does what the Exosuit does, except the "Exosuit" is a completely unbuffed Seeker, and it's not reusable.

The living Rocketeer uses First Strike against Ware

Remiel goes at some point after JOE is revived, but before Daskter.

Pop special for four rounds, mantling Vulcan, Nana, Maple, Taeda, Ette, Adria, JOE, Auth, Keane, and Daskter. NPCs listed below act now:

Taeda: Move to X15. Revive Kalis1 onto X14 with Fossil of Hope, taking extra MP from Remiel.
Remiel Bonus Action: Mantle Kalis1.

Vulcan to X7, do ???.
Nana to I4, do ???.
Maple to T24, do ???.

Remiel's Actual Action: From Daskter's position, basicattack Mawstem2. Hit Eyestem1 with Struck By The Rain. Spam Cherry Energy (with MP damage from blue geos) until all the remaining Hallucinations die of death.

Oh, and if Remiel's MP gets too low from incoming attacks, siphon some MP from the mantled NPCs who don't have Guilt, and any PCs who volunteer.

BATTLES - WARIOWARE

Star activates Vacuum Energy and teleports to (U14), where they swap to Star form on Sol Ultima as a bonus action and basic attack Calibri, benefitting from Fervent Emotion, Empowered7, and max Stellar Wind to heal him to full HP and MP and grant him Swift1 for one round.
Next, they eat an Infinipizza for more HP/MP regen and retreat out of the wall to (W11).

In The Final

ADRIA: ugh i need brain bleach like yesterday
ADRIA: just kill that other thing and be done with this peckhole

After Remiel...

The Tem Mist motions for the Dream Blossom to move to (R23). Adria gives Tem another Brew of the Corrupted Gods while Tem smashes a Mana Pot over their head. Tem Mist then moves to (O21), onto a Blue Geo. Tem then starts an Onrush! Down with the Purple Star! The targets, in order, are:
-Dream Blossom, land at (S24) (Die from MP damage)
-Patche2, land at (U24) (Die from MP damage)
-Reverie3, land at (X21) (Die from MP damage)
-Defiler2, land at (V23) (Die from MP damage)
-PsyShip, land at (Q23) (Take HP damage)

This kills Purple Star from succing. After it dies, Tem retreats to (K8) through Vortex and uses EGO Inside Me for one last Basic Attack on WARE himself, due South. Tem then explodes from Greatest Split, catching WARE, Patche3, and the Yggcrawler in the blast.

Adria herself Accelerates her Manaburn (-2C), reducing duration by 1 and inflicting the mana damage.

She then does the gigabrain play of casting Nanomend Duct Tape on Irongutta, proccing Automana for 30 MP and Uninspired, while healing Gutta a bit. She's left with 24 MP.

She then moves to (N17) and shoots WARE, reducing her Guilt. She also volunteers for We All Become this round.

---

/working

Teag stays put, waits until after the Purple Star is dead, then activates Special and fires at WARE. You know the drill at this point, Plate Penetrator and Vitalstrike are used. Afterwards he consumes a Stardew Potion to make sure someone else eats Sanity's Eclipse.

Shitpost Johnson hands over a Brew of Corrupted Gods and the Atrocity to Nia for upgradin.

Destiny moves to G12, uses a Splinter on Defiler1, and Weakness Technique stabs Defiler1.

Heart of the Sphere
Move to D16.
Last Dream Reverie1.
Power Nap self.

Asha switches to Blunt stance, moves to M10, bonks WARE, and activates the Ice Hat.

House

Blacklight addresses each comment in turn, once again. First, on Spark.

"Whether he knew and just couldn't prove it, or he was simply insane and a lucky guesser, yes, as it turns out Spark was correct about that association."

Then on drinks. He remembers something...

"Mixing coffee and alcohol is dangerous. The caffeine in the coffee masks the negative effects of the alcohol, but does not actually get rid of them. I believe Omorika is already aware of this issue, and thus would avoid it."

And then the priestess. He hasn't met Taeda yet. Not even by technicality as far as he knows. He thus can't say much on that topic. And besides, the Atrocity probably takes priority...

"...Best not eat that. It was partially comprised of iti bodyparts and actual poison, and there is an over 50% chance it would do something dangerous. I could easily make an alternative if you just want something to eat in general."

---

"..."

Loading.

---

Zone 6 - The Eclipsed Citadel

Lato considers this. The sewer system...

"...Sewer system, tight corridor, mechanical entities present within... assuming Iti attack, high probability of types suited to the environment, likely Xenos-type..."

A pause, in which she falls silent. Then, she nods.

"This assignment shall suffice. Direct me toward a suitable entrance - I do not particularly fancy the thought of entering the sewage system through a civilian toilet."

---

Battle in the Sphere - Heart of the Sphere

"...Guilt? Weird name for a spell."

Calibri runs through the W14 vortex to the N5 vortex, runs down to M8, clobbers WARE in the face, and retreats to O7.

...

Oh yeah and he also throws a celefruit cocktail at Acacia on the way past.

---

Sphere Waiting Room

"banana"

"..."

Later.

Battle: Heart of the Sphere

Once Defiler1's strings have been removed, Irongutta takes the P23 Vortex to D13, then moves to E13 to tear Defiler1 a new one with a basic attack!

If it's dead, he'll instead take that vortex to N6, stop at N8, and attack WARE.

Battle: Purple is a color

"... Wow, that's ugly. I'm not sure how this game's retaining a T-rating."

Venia is so distracted by the horrific nature of [REDACTED] she was exposed to only a turn prior that she forgot to follow up immediately to WARE, and now that its dead is now primed to continue her tirade, as is tradition.

"...Oh, yeah, right. I guess I'm obligated to this..." Venia says, more to herself than anything. She takes a quick stock of the situation and affirms it-most of her allies are still alive or being revived, while WARE's remaining Iti (present) could be counted on one hand.

"Are you noticing how this fight isn't going your way? Even your greatest soldiers can't do any meaningful, lasting damage to us! What was all that talk about being god now? Where's all that omnipotence? Having difficulties playing puppetmaster over there, you sick freak?"

---

Venia moves through the Thyme Vortex to P5. She chugs an Apothocary's remedy to alleviate her ridiculous stacks of Manaburn she's accumulated and gain some HP on the side, then shoots WARE with a regular basic attack and offloads another [/b]Phantasmal Force[/b] on WARE. She then retreats to Q5.

"Spherebreakers! He's faltering! He probably has one more pair of Eliti in him though! Keep attacking him, don't bunch up, and make sure we've fired a Purging weapon before we take him down!"

Auth crushes a Nanomender to recover some MP, then floats back to pick up Nana again, and smiles gratefully.

AUTH: Thanks very much for the boost, Nana.


He flies her closer to the large cluster of people. He floats right past Ware and the Purple Star, before the latter eats lethal damage.

AUTH: See you, WARE. Have another go, hm?

Auth lands on R13, casting Valiance on Omorika to bring her back into action.

AUTH: Venia's right, WARE's being worn down. We're in a good position here.

---

Alicia stares at the TV. She watches the "Vampire" on the TV and visibly recoils.

ALICIA: You do know that you're talking to a vampire, right?
ALICIA: A half-vampire, but still... this movie is an utter waste! I dread to consider the offence Mum would take if she knew it existed...

Alicia also speaks to Lato across the room at roughly the same time.

ALICIA: Well, I suppose it's true that most things freeze at sufficient cold.
ALICIA: But that's not what I meant and you know it! Most ice magic doesn't get to that kind of temperature.

rushed post since i procrastinated and played too much minecraft

Cypress should grant Hexagon all his SHP as Temp SHP.

Hexagon and Mexagon will either Guard, or Foam someone near them who is not Foamed if such a person exists. Apologies for the low quality of this action i had to speeddd

He will also drink the Ainfini, summoning aiN.

Kalis2 moves down 1, vortexes to D14, and moves to E14. They take an action to move Red Strings to Patche1, eat a Wingfig from their helmet to restore MP, cast Focus Energy on themself as a bonus action, then cast Pow Hammer as a bonus action with Flux Cascade on Defiler1, restoring a charge of Fruit and proccing Soul Hauler.

Kalis also volunteers to tank We All Become.

<ROUND 341>

Keane becomes an affront to god. Then again, maybe he doesn't so much "become" as much as he "continues to be" an affront to god. As punishment for his blasphemy, Creation manifests a banana peel on a step for Keane to trip on. Keane treads on the banana peel, completely unaffected. Roughly five stairs later, Keane trips through unrelated causes. skill issue

Keane's skill issue proceeds to be so severe that he snaps his neck on the way down the spiraling stairs, respawning back at the house. Fast travel! He stands up in the foyer, immediately obtaining staircase-related PTSD as he looks in the back! Retreating from the sight of a godish foe, he stumbles upon Sakura and Blacklight. Words emit from his mouth, much to Sakura's displeasure. This... this is the Spherebreaker's house, right?

SAKURA: Yeah...?
SAKURA: Please tell me the people trying to save the planet aren't all so goddamned clueless.
SAKURA: One would think he hit his head twenty or so times on his way down a staircase, and developed amnesia or something.
SAKURA: But surely, nobody would be so unskilled to do something like that.
SAKURA: Unlike Lord Cypress. Few years ago, he fell down the Citadel's staircase. I think the stairs took more damage than him, but still. It was funny.

At the very least, Keane immediately recovers his reputation with a sterling, sweeping bow. Danielthyst Keanezite McZupp, at her majesty's service! Sakura grins a wicked little grin, sitting up and crossing her left leg over her right. She props her left elbow on her raised knee, propping her chin up with her hands.

SAKURA: Ah, finally! Someone with proper manners in the face of someone such as myself! And here I was thinking you were unwashed.
SAKURA: Ahem...
SAKURA: I am Sakura Yedoensis, the one true inheritor of Locaa! Perhaps you will be a worthy servant in my quest to defeat the tyrannical Spherebreakers, who are keeping me here against my will?

She, uh. She might want to watch where she's saying that. However, any sort of plans the princess might've wished to muse about are interrupted by a scene transition to the Ancient Ruins, over at the Titanium Oven that JOE made like 4.5 years back or something like that. Laying out a wide variety of materials, he makes an Oddly Advanced Stout Cylinder!

He then (mine)crafts a selection of fragments from the Dream of Unity into a """simple""" pot, throwing his Oddly Advanced Stout Cylinder inside, along with some Maxim Legs. He then imbues an Iti Cell into the design, creating the Something! I don't know what to call this! This device is thrown into the Titanium Oven, melting into an odd pot of Skynet Subioti!

That's... definitely going to kill someone in the near future. A perfect meal for Sakura...? If this is an attempt to court her, it's certainly an ambitious one. Will she appreciate the meal? Probably not, but it's worth a try!

---

JOE repairs his yubi's. While silkweed is certainly an odd choice for a set of fingers (Marron would say that the durability of one's fingers should be far higher), it'll do. Anyway, JOE points out that WARE has made many fundamental flaws in his argument against his crafting. First of all, this battle is the semi-final battle. Secondly, he only gained consciousness just before this battle. Thirdly, why would he listen to him!? WARE just killed two copies of himself. That's about as impolite as it gets.

WARE: Look. You're being completely unreasonable.
WARE: Just because we murdered you doesn't mean you can go breaking the law-

Fourthly, he gestures to the post above, where a pot of Skynet Subioti was just made. This wasn't actually part of his post, but lets be honest he'd totally gesture up to it if he could see the successful result. The Iti Small Claims Court labels WARE as guilty of finger-related craft fraud, siphoning 2,000 Credits from his bank account and putting them into the party inventory.

WARE: OKAY FINE YOU CAN CRAFT.
WARE: YOU WIN. WE DO NOT HAVE THE MENTAL STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH YOU.
WARE: Or at least, half of us does. Half of us wants to rip from this flawed shell and tear you from limb to limb, while the other half finds it quite comedic.
WARE: Don't be like the other half. Be like the cooler half.
WARE: The "cooler" half that will hopefully perish by the end of this battle.

With the crafting ban lifted from his account, JOE grabs a Seeker and gets a FREE CRAFT™ from the legal proceedings, obtaining a Seeker Suit! A good use of a legal victory.

---

Blacklight advises Sakura against eating the Atrocity. Apparently, its made of Iti bodyparts as well as poison, and there's a 50% chance that it'd probably do something dangerous. Sakura sighs.

SAKURA: Oh, come on. Nobody would be so braindead as to make a cake like that. And why would a cake only have a 50% chance to kill someone?
SAKURA: You're totally lying! You just don't want me to have that questionable-looking cake!
SAKURA: I've eaten some weird lookin' gorilla, y'know. The stuff that people bring to parties is weird as hell, but it's always good!
SAKURA: Itadakimasu!~

Sakura cuts a small slice from the atrocity, and nibbles on it.

(6)

Upon being nibbled, the slice of cake sprouts spider legs leaps up, shrieks at her, and delivers a roundhouse kick directly to her noggin. It knocks her down from her seating position, off the couch and onto the floorboards. The slice of cake shrieks at her again, before leaping through a nearby window. Which it isn't strong enough to penetrate, so it just sorta splats against it. A somewhat dazed Sakura rubs her surely-bruised cheek.

SAKURA: O-OW! W-What the gorilla w-was up with t-that?
SAKURA: W-Who in t-their right mind w-would...

Sakura remains downed on the floorboards, her chest gently rising and falling. Somehow, that one (12-12) Crushing damage kick managed to drop her below 33% HP.

SAKURA: D-Don't... d-don't you dare c-call a priestess!
SAKURA: I-I'm totally f-fine! I didn't j-just get knocked out b-by a cake!
SAKURA: I c-can... t-take it!

Though her HP may have taken (12-12) Crushing, her ego has probably eaten about (162-167) Psychic Damage today. At least ego damage can't be fatal! Probably! Lucid would probably like to have a word about that, but they're dead / part airship now.

Then, back at the church, Lato accepts Chi's assignment! Venture into the sewers and patrol down there! Now the two of them need a route into the sewers...

MARRON: wait i never agreed to-
CHI: Thank you, Lato.
CHI: As for the nearest entryway, there's no need to infiltrate the sewers through a toilet... even if a skilled morph like Hersilia could pull that off.
CHI: I'm sure you remember the small, castle-like structure to the south? There should be a maintenance tunnel access in the south-eastern tower.
CHI: I do hope you have a plan, though. Two sets of eyes cannot manage an entire sewer system.

So, should they get going? Or does Lato have a plan to share with Marron for this daring operation?

MARRON: God. This is gonna be an awful day to have nostrils.
MARRON: I hope Chairian turds are...
MARRON: ...W-Wait, why am I even in a situation where I can t-talk about that?
MARRON: This sidequest i-is going way too far!

Yeah. Got a plan?

---

Venia continues to insult WARE's general proficiency. Even his greatest Eliti can't do anything meaningful to the party! Is he entirely sure he's a god? He might want to get that checked out.

WARE: Ah, to be so deluded, unable to read a battlefield as it develops.
WARE: You haven't laid a finger on anything that could be regarded as even moderately important.
WARE: You have fought valiantly against a mere puppet.
WARE: A flawed entity.
WARE: All the while, the Reunion has already begun.
WARE: Can't you sense it? Of course you can't. You've been too busy fighting for your life. Clinging on to something that vaguely depicts something you so sorely lack. Hope.

The WATCHED gauge splits in two. oh no

---

Alicia rejects the morb. Is Mari aware that she's talking to a vampire? This movie, this Morbius... it's an utter waste! If her mother knew it existed, she'd probably do something unsavory to it!

MARI: What. What did you just call Morbius.
MARI: gorilla, I WILL THROW DOWN-
BASS: mari wait
BASS: it's not worth it.
BASS: some people just can't understand true art or vampirism
MARI: ...Yeah. You're right.
MARI: I feel sorry for you, lady I don't know.
MARI: So blissfully unaware of true art.
MARI: Even if you played the "Baby Walks Into Fire" game for four hours, the divine essence of art would refuse to burrow into your skull.
BASS: oh damnnnn

The two of them continue to morb, undeterred by Alicia. What does she know? She's not a true vampire like Jared Leto, the One True Morbius. Not even Auth could appreciate such a movie, with its 100 morbillion percent on Rotten Lumipods. Only she and Bass can appreciate such true art. Also Maria, apparently.

Poor Maria.

---

<HEART OF THE SPHERE, ROUND 9>
WARE's entered Longform once again! He's not really vulnerable to damage though, so it'd probably be worth targeting down his incredibly large swarm of summons. Be sure to play around every last one of WARE's Longpost moves; TOTSUGEKI slams the nearest target for heavy Water damage, Murmur of Rage buffs the damage of WARE's allies technically, and Super Mega Death Rocket causes... death! Look, this round is going to hurt. Do your best to survive! Use Glyphs! Spoils of War! They exist for a reason!

RP for 342:

Keane's brain instantaneously short-circuits like the INT-based interface it is. Damn, they weren't lying: that her can majesty.

Unfortunately, now Keane faces the greatest moral dilemma of our time. Since the Spherebreakers are generally nice people who don't want one-third of reality to end, they must have a really good reason for keeping this pretty girl against her will- but also, you don't just disobey a hot villainess. At least not in Keane's default moral code.

Thankfully, Keane's Composure skill shoves Electrophorics and Inland Empire out of the way and enables him to speak before everything gets awkward.

KEANE: It's a pleasure to meet you, your majesty.
KEANE: I don't know how much help I may be, but I am ready and willing to aid you however necessary.
KEANE: Honestly, I wouldn't doubt it if you walked up to me and told me the Spherebreakers were idiots. The amount of shenanigans they've gotten into even during my brief tenure on the planet is frustrating.
KEANE: The sentient hexagon spent half our credits on a rock.
KEANE: Also, scrolling through these services, apparently at least two Spherebreakers have...
KEANE:
KEANE: ...It says here that at least two Spherebreakers paid Acacia 50 credits each to step on them.
KEANE: So that's one hundred credits we'll never get back.
KEANE: (I mean, I get the appeal, but come on, that just seems desperate.)

Sakura then gets roundhouse kicked by a cake. Keane gasps in shock, rushing to her side.

KEANE: Your Majesty! Are you alright?

If possible, Keane helps Sakura back onto the couch, before turning to Blacklight.

KEANE: Pardon my language, but WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?
KEANE: That cake sprouted LEGS and ROUNDHOUSE KICKED the princess!
KEANE: ...I suppose that's more support for the "Most of the Spherebreakers are clueless" theory, given as someone was, evidently, 'so braindead as to make a cake like that'.
KEANE: What's next? Is one of the couches secretly a giant robot or something?

Keane nudges the Atrocity gently back into the inventory. It's done enough damage to the royal cherry blossom, today and forever.

---

342- Heart of the Sphere:

Keane uses his trait to provide JOE with Lucky34 and promptly vortexes to C12.