14/20 Bronze Armor (+1 from variable)
5/30 Vengance

+1 Tabbune, +1 DCCCV

Azurewrath notices the barrage of attacks coming at him. First, he straight up absorbs the purple orb, identifying it as a Void Orb (he's the Lord of the Void, remember?). He then corrupts the spears and then stops them near him, making them stand at his sides. As JOE tries to spin the spears, Azurewrath cackles evilly. A strange purple energy begins to engulf JOE's arm...
As the four portals open, they suddenly turn into squares. The lava that comes out is chunky and cylincrical. The lava completely fails to form a spike, spreading out over Azurewrath's head. The now eight portals begin to darken as well as the lava. Azurewrath begins to twist and turn the lava into a giant purple monster, which swipes at JOE, flinging him light years off the battlefield. The way back is riddled with strange, eldritch beings that should physically not exist.
Welcome to Freemodelland.

Meanwhile, SparkedTheorem becomes a Medic and equips the Quick Fix. He heals up Azurewrath, promptly using his Ubercharge to heal Azurewrath even more.
(If you didn't know, Quick Fix's Ubercharge makes you heal a lot faster.)

Originally posted on 2017-05-23 00:30:00

[huh, theres a lot less posts so far then usual]
/NULL

Originally posted on 2017-05-23 23:52:00

You know what?
I kinda feel sorry for Thomas.
Seemingly all he’s done is die repeatedly for the entire time he’s been here. Sometimes several times at once.
I don’t even think he’s been able to do anything on account of always being dead.
So, in light of Joe’s own recent effort to protect him a bit (which may or may not have been the only reason I actually thought about him at length), I think I ought to chip in a bit.

A few feet from where Thomas stands, a scarecrow pops out of the ground.
It kinda looks like Thomas. If you squint at it pretty hard. And maybe not even then.
But who knows? Maybe it’ll momentarily distract someone from the actual Thomas, if only because of how dumb it looks. Stranger things have happened.

The Pseudo-Player decides to activate Polarize this round, with the Tax Man getting Plus and the Terror Chicken (or, if that would be immune, the Puppet Knight) getting Minus.
The Tax Man, seeing very little left to attack, goes for Puppetblight Ganon, on account of the massive tax evasion committed by its inspiration.

SIDEQUEST

Beta decides to ambush the monsters in the sneakiest way possible.
By throwing a giant bomb at them.

They’ll never see it coming!

+1 Redstone/Tabbune

2/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise
17/30 A Snowball’s Chance (+4 Joe/Tabbune/Tedstone (Thank you tiny mobile keyboard))

Originally posted on 2017-05-24 12:08:00

Alright, so I'm back from account issues.

Taking in the Terror Chicken for the first time, I realize there is possibly one quick way to take it down.

But first, I have to be humane. I throw up a barrier to box it in, and slowly fill the chamber with knockout gas, putting it to sleep.

Charges
A little investment 7/20(+3 from Variant, +2 from Irecreeper +2 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 )
Elemental 3/25

Originally posted on 2017-05-25 03:09:00

o---Chages---
Return: 18 / 30 (+7, lots)
Thermal Power: 1 / 20
+1 to 1412
+1 to DCCCV
Current Summons

tc: Wha-
tc: Breaking the legs of my thing, Simu?
tc: Well, that does it.

Marron opts to just officially walk to the AS side, stomping over there in a huff. She drags her entities there with her... and grants control of the Puppet Knight to 1412, because economy. She then decides that Thomas has lived long enough... despite not really having done too much. She says something about "a knight of inky black", then promptly stitches together what looks like a puppet nuckelavee. It stands up on its hind legs for a moment, pretending to roar and be intimidating. It gallantly (and cutely) charges towards Thomas, arms dangling behind it.

It begins to rapidly slash Thomas with arms made out of slim-but-sharp needles, each one brutally raking his flesh and sending the scent of blood into the air. Marron stitches together about nine more nuckelavees just like it, who all gallop off towards Thomas. They all surround him and grab him, before tossing him into the air. They then all stab each other at the same time, crossing their arms in such a way that they're now in the formation of a gigantic trampoline. Their needles shift and snake through their bodies, appearing on the tops of their arms, facing towards the sky. It's a trampoline of spikes, and Thomas is in for the ride!

Boing! Thomas gets skewered in multiple places. Boing! Thomas gets skewered in a new array of multiple places. Boing! Thomas gets stabbed everywhere he got stabbed before with absolutely no inaccuracy, somehow. Boing! Thomas flies really high into the air! Smash. The nuckelavee's arms broke, causing Thomas to hit the ground rather fast. Poor kid.

Puppetblight will use Puppetblight Fury on Thomas!

Originally posted on 2017-05-25 05:56:00

8/20: Fire Dragon (+2 Fury, +1 Variant, +1 1412, +1 redstone)

Okay, nerfing it to 30k HP.

3/20: Second Flame Spear

Nerfed: 7 Durability. Basically, the action is boosted if Amaria alternates between healing and attacking.

--

Amaria looks at the badly injured Azure and stops her dance to attach a fire tether to him, healing him as long as Amaria maintains the tether.

--

+2 to Redstonetam

Originally posted on 2017-05-25 08:49:00

19/20 Bronze Armor (+1 from variable, +2 from Tabby)
6/30 Vengance

SparkedTheorem then gets back to work but not before telling variant something.

SparkedTheorem: Hey, variable!
SparkedTheorem: Stop trying to constantly boot my summons #### (from) this place. If you keep ##### (doing) that, #### (I'll) start booting yours!
SparkedTheorem: You might as well be with the ########## (Simumodder), ####### (Damnit!)
SparkedTheorem: Augh, the chat filter is such an ############ (Abomination.) It needs to change.
SparkedTheorem: You see what I mean?

SparkedTheorem unsheathes Illumina and swipes at the Terror Chicken.


Originally posted on 2017-05-25 15:24:00

I tear open a wall and, in true castlevania style, find a delicious roast turkey inside. I give it to Azurewrath to heal him.

+2 marron
"Oh hey thanks for the thing! Welcome to the AS side."
The Fallen: 18/60 (18/30 from me, 0/30)
Disaster relief 6/10 +1 from marron

Could the puppet knight use needle slash on the Terror Chicken?

Originally posted on 2017-05-25 22:37:00

"Amaria, I have sent a message to you. it can be located in the upperright corner if you scroll to top. if you decline, please inform me of such. thank you."
/Discussion/Conversation/WhateverNULL

Originally posted on 2017-05-25 22:37:00

+2 Marron
The Fallen: 19/60 (19/30 from me, 0/30)
Disaster relief 7/10

You know what the enemy of chickens is? Foxes. So I open a box that has a fox. The fox is wearing socks, and gloves used to box. The fox uses the gloves and socks the chicken. The damage rocks.

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 02:33:00

You know, there is a reason for why I've been attacking your entities.
I have a job to do.
Balance of power isn’t exactly going to maintain itself, and the team consisting of a lazy git and someone who ended up dead in one betrayal that also flattened most of the aforementioned team’s entities (if not all of them, since the only reason one of them made it out was that he respawned) didn’t look like they were going to hold up the PS end of it themselves.
Heck, the “elite” the Simumodder summoned to address that issue has already lost almost a third of its health.
In one turn.
I fought against the Simumodder’s entities when those were threatening the balance.
I fight those who threaten it now.
If the balance shifts in your favor, I will fight to restore it.
If it shifts against you, I will fight to restore it.
Stand in the way of that if you like, but that is how it is.
(Although, I suppose that by "I" I mean "everyone currently on the field")

That spiel being delivered (presumably via a letter), Variable (formerly “sponsor”, who has decided to adopt the name ST used for them because it seems both appropriate and more of a name than “sponsor”) decides to fire up the SPACE LASER!!!!! that they clearly have and fire it at the Puppet Guardian.

SIDEQUEST

As the dust from Beta’s bomb settles, one of the surviving monsters suddenly finds itself with a far greater number of knives lodged in its body than it had before the bomb went off.

+1 Ire/Tabbune

3/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise
18/30 A Snowball’s Chance

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 09:38:00

32%
0/64
a cold wind 18/30
3/blarg Icey wall
+2 Varient
I gather a significant amount of yellow-gold light and lob it at puppetblight, before the orb turns into a yellow version of link that shakes his hand then turns into an array of spining circles which spin around before slaming into the ground and prying a golem from it. the golem shakes hands with P.blight ganon, before springing out into a jig. it then does several soumersalts and pays ganon for watching it, before taking out the yolk of an egg and uncracking it, causing it to become a normal uncracked egg. it proceeds to do various other strange things and give gannon visions of himself being ripped appart by his allys. as this all happens a green mist billows from my waste, and begins to seep into gannons body. the mist corrupts its mind, convincing it that its "allys" are not to be trusted, and whispers in its ear to Kill them all. ganon struggles, but the side of evil is were he belongs. he will not resist long. tendrils of mist caress his body and tug at it, urging him ever onwards, to strike his former friends, to join his "enemys". he considers, for just a moment, and experiences a sudden rush of europia, as I manipulate many mist particles into behaving like endorphins. his sense of honour, what little he has, pushes against it, and the europia is replaced with an ache, a pain, and he feels awefull, and he gives in and the particals return to acting like dopamine and seratonin and whatever weird chemicals control happyness in puppets and hes happy and he will and there is no other option. he walks over to one of his former allys, who knows which, and, spurred on by the increasing amounts of various chemicals, he attacks them, mauls them, slices them to pieces, and he's happy, this is good, the world is good. nothing will stop him!
...and then my action ends and the statuses tick down and the chemicals fade and he realises what he's done, but its too late. he has already killed. will they ever forgive him?

[Summery: inflict Confusion on puppetblight, but type it out as if it is closer to mindcontrol because how else are you going to guarantee they attack their allys?]
[excess that is insufficient to add more confusion will be giving him (PB.ganon) virus or something]

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 13:19:00

10/20: Fire Dragon (+1 from Variant)

4/20: Second Flame Spear

--

Amaria maintains the tether and keeps healing Azure.

--

+2 Battlefury

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 15:41:00

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1495467680))

32% 64/64 all energy boosts my attack (+3,000 attack damage if i recall) a cold wind 17/30 +4 Simu the small seed 8/8 using! I give thomas a seed which he eats, giving him +8 mhp this life2 autododges, then + hp if possible. if can't get 2 autododges, then instead increase MHP as much as possible, or give an autododge that applys to the last attack on him in a round instead of the first. New: 2/blarg Icey wall +1 simu +2 Varient Thomas does a smash with his first action and as much creativity as it will take to kill on the AS puppet rat swarms. if he can't kill them, use all but one on them, then use the second action to attack a random entity AS, prioritizing those he can kill in 1 hit to those he can't, using 1 creativity if he has it. I gather pick up the fruit one by one and put them in the cart, before realising I can just portal them for minimal effort. Meanwhile, on the battlefield, I gather an orb of purple light and toss it at asurewrath, before creating 4 balls of rainbow light which I morph into a spear and move my hand as if to toss one, sending all four at azurewrath. crackling light beams connecting them, and they spin, preventing Azurewrath from dodging. I raise my hand and create four portals, sending lava streaming through, and swirling around my hand into a spinning spike shape. I then pull my hand back, and swing it forwards, sending the spike to slam into azurewrath. I then create another set of four portals as the first spike flows around azurewrath, burning them. I then throw the new spike, before blinking behind them and forcing it to commit sepuku on itself while the magma drill slams into it.

You use the small seed, granting him 2 MHP.
Thomas ordered
You portal all of the fruit into the fruit cart. Obstacle removed!
You attempt to kill Azurewrath but are unfortunately blocked.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1495495816))

14/20 Bronze Armor (+1 from variable) 5/30 Vengance +1 Tabbune, +1 DCCCV Azurewrath notices the barrage of attacks coming at him. First, he straight up absorbs the purple orb, identifying it as a Void Orb (he's the Lord of the Void, remember?). He then corrupts the spears and then stops them near him, making them stand at his sides. As JOE tries to spin the spears, Azurewrath cackles evilly. A strange purple energy begins to engulf JOE's arm... As the four portals open, they suddenly turn into squares. The lava that comes out is chunky and cylincrical. The lava completely fails to form a spike, spreading out over Azurewrath's head. The now eight portals begin to darken as well as the lava. Azurewrath begins to twist and turn the lava into a giant purple monster, which swipes at JOE, flinging him light years off the battlefield. The way back is riddled with strange, eldritch beings that should physically not exist. Welcome to Freemodelland. Meanwhile, SparkedTheorem becomes a Medic and equips the Quick Fix. He heals up Azurewrath, promptly using his Ubercharge to heal Azurewrath even more. (If you didn't know, Quick Fix's Ubercharge makes you heal a lot faster.)

Entities can't counter things with their actions unless its stated in their stats, so since it would invalidate your second action if Azurewrath died to the aforementioned attack, I'm counting the counter as your action.
Azurewrath lives to see another EoTB.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1495579941))

[huh, theres a lot less posts so far then usual] /NULL

Thank goodness people actually posted.

QUOTE (variant @ (time=1495624081))

You know what? I kinda feel sorry for Thomas. Seemingly all he’s done is die repeatedly for the entire time he’s been here. Sometimes several times at once. I don’t even think he’s been able to do anything on account of always being dead. So, in light of Joe’s own recent effort to protect him a bit (which may or may not have been the only reason I actually thought about him at length), I think I ought to chip in a bit. A few feet from where Thomas stands, a scarecrow pops out of the ground. It kinda looks like Thomas. If you squint at it pretty hard. And maybe not even then. But who knows? Maybe it’ll momentarily distract someone from the actual Thomas, if only because of how dumb it looks. Stranger things have happened. The Pseudo-Player decides to activate Polarize this round, with the Tax Man getting Plus and the Terror Chicken (or, if that would be immune, the Puppet Knight) getting Minus. The Tax Man, seeing very little left to attack, goes for Puppetblight Ganon, on account of the massive tax evasion committed by its inspiration. SIDEQUEST Beta decides to ambush the monsters in the sneakiest way possible. By throwing a giant bomb at them. They’ll never see it coming! +1 Redstone/Tabbune 2/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise 17/30 A Snowball’s Chance (+4 Joe/Tabbune/Tedstone (Thank you tiny mobile keyboard))

You bodyblock a single attack on Thomas this round. Scary.
Entities ordered.

You shout AMBUSH and drop a giant bomb in their midst, dealing 3 damage to all four of them.

QUOTE (DCCCV @ (time=1495678160))

Alright, so I'm back from account issues. Taking in the Terror Chicken for the first time, I realize there is possibly one quick way to take it down. But first, I have to be humane. I throw up a barrier to box it in, and slowly fill the chamber with knockout gas, putting it to sleep. Charges A little investment 7/20(+3 from Variant, +2 from Irecreeper +2 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 ) Elemental 3/25

You run into one slight problem when the terror chicken doesn't fall asleep and instead launches a barrage of arrows at the edges of the wall, scraping along the walls creating a spark which ignites the highly flammable knockout gas and blows the whole thing up. 5000 damage to the Terror Chicken.
(unfortunately, sleep would be a Stun effect, and elites are immune to those.)

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1495688170))

o---Chages--- Return: 18 / 30 (+7, lots) Thermal Power: 1 / 20 +1 to 1412 +1 to DCCCV Current Summons tc: Wha- tc: Breaking the legs of my thing, Simu? tc: Well, that does it. Marron opts to just officially walk to the AS side, stomping over there in a huff. She drags her entities there with her... and grants control of the Puppet Knight to 1412, because economy. She then decides that Thomas has lived long enough... despite not really having done too much. She says something about "a knight of inky black", then promptly stitches together what looks like a puppet nuckelavee. It stands up on its hind legs for a moment, pretending to roar and be intimidating. It gallantly (and cutely) charges towards Thomas, arms dangling behind it. It begins to rapidly slash Thomas with arms made out of slim-but-sharp needles, each one brutally raking his flesh and sending the scent of blood into the air. Marron stitches together about nine more nuckelavees just like it, who all gallop off towards Thomas. They all surround him and grab him, before tossing him into the air. They then all stab each other at the same time, crossing their arms in such a way that they're now in the formation of a gigantic trampoline. Their needles shift and snake through their bodies, appearing on the tops of their arms, facing towards the sky. It's a trampoline of spikes, and Thomas is in for the ride! Boing! Thomas gets skewered in multiple places. Boing! Thomas gets skewered in a new array of multiple places. Boing! Thomas gets stabbed everywhere he got stabbed before with absolutely no inaccuracy, somehow. Boing! Thomas flies really high into the air! Smash. The nuckelavee's arms broke, causing Thomas to hit the ground rather fast. Poor kid. Puppetblight will use Puppetblight Fury on Thomas!

You stomp your way over to the AS side of the field, it seems defectors from Neutral don't need a dramatic betrayal because they don't really have anyone to betray.

The puppet nuckelavee turns out to be really stupid and goes for the scarecrow, not Thomas. Whoops.
Entity ordered.

QUOTE (Tabbune @ (time=1495698541))

8/20: Fire Dragon (+2 Fury, +1 Variant, +1 1412, +1 redstone) Okay, nerfing it to 30k HP. 3/20: Second Flame Spear Nerfed: 7 Durability. Basically, the action is boosted if Amaria alternates between healing and attacking. -- Amaria looks at the badly injured Azure and stops her dance to attach a fire tether to him, healing him as long as Amaria maintains the tether. -- +2 to Redstonetam

Alrighty then, soundsgood for both of them.
You tether up to Azurewrath, and heal him for 4000 hit points.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1495722255))

19/20 Bronze Armor (+1 from variable, +2 from Tabby) 6/30 Vengance SparkedTheorem then gets back to work but not before telling variant something. SparkedTheorem: Hey, variable! SparkedTheorem: Stop trying to constantly boot my summons #### (from) this place. If you keep ##### (doing) that, #### (I'll) start booting yours! SparkedTheorem: You might as well be with the ########## (Simumodder), ####### (Damnit!) SparkedTheorem: Augh, the chat filter is such an ############ (Abomination.) It needs to change. SparkedTheorem: You see what I mean? SparkedTheorem unsheathes Illumina and swipes at the Terror Chicken.

You mark the Terror Chicken, and deal 4000 damage to it with Ilumina.

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1495748238))

I tear open a wall and, in true castlevania style, find a delicious roast turkey inside. I give it to Azurewrath to heal him. +2 marron "Oh hey thanks for the thing! Welcome to the AS side." The Fallen: 18/60 (18/30 from me, 0/30) Disaster relief 6/10 +1 from marron Could the puppet knight use needle slash on the Terror Chicken?

'
Yum, delicious turkey. 5000 health restored.
Entity ordered.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1495748260))

"Amaria, I have sent a message to you. it can be located in the upperright corner if you scroll to top. if you decline, please inform me of such. thank you." /Discussion/Conversation/WhateverNULL

Ooooh spooky.

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1495762430))

+2 Marron The Fallen: 19/60 (19/30 from me, 0/30) Disaster relief 7/10 You know what the enemy of chickens is? Foxes. So I open a box that has a fox. The fox is wearing socks, and gloves used to box. The fox uses the gloves and socks the chicken. The damage rocks.

That made me laugh. 8000 damage from your socking box fox.

QUOTE (variant @ (time=1495787939))

You know, there is a reason for why I've been attacking your entities. I have a job to do. Balance of power isn’t exactly going to maintain itself, and the team consisting of a lazy git and someone who ended up dead in one betrayal that also flattened most of the aforementioned team’s entities (if not all of them, since the only reason one of them made it out was that he respawned) didn’t look like they were going to hold up the PS end of it themselves. Heck, the “elite” the Simumodder summoned to address that issue has already lost almost a third of its health. In one turn. I fought against the Simumodder’s entities when those were threatening the balance. I fight those who threaten it now. If the balance shifts in your favor, I will fight to restore it. If it shifts against you, I will fight to restore it. Stand in the way of that if you like, but that is how it is. (Although, I suppose that by "I" I mean "everyone currently on the field") That spiel being delivered (presumably via a letter), Variable (formerly “sponsor”, who has decided to adopt the name ST used for them because it seems both appropriate and more of a name than “sponsor”) decides to fire up the SPACE LASER!!!!! that they clearly have and fire it at the Puppet Guardian. SIDEQUEST As the dust from Beta’s bomb settles, one of the surviving monsters suddenly finds itself with a far greater number of knives lodged in its body than it had before the bomb went off. +1 Ire/Tabbune 3/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise 18/30 A Snowball’s Chance

You fire your lazor and deal 6000 damage to the Puppet Guardian.
Spider killed!

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1495801188))

32% 0/64 a cold wind 18/30 3/blarg Icey wall +2 Varient I gather a significant amount of yellow-gold light and lob it at puppetblight, before the orb turns into a yellow version of link that shakes his hand then turns into an array of spining circles which spin around before slaming into the ground and prying a golem from it. the golem shakes hands with P.blight ganon, before springing out into a jig. it then does several soumersalts and pays ganon for watching it, before taking out the yolk of an egg and uncracking it, causing it to become a normal uncracked egg. it proceeds to do various other strange things and give gannon visions of himself being ripped appart by his allys. as this all happens a green mist billows from my waste, and begins to seep into gannons body. the mist corrupts its mind, convincing it that its "allys" are not to be trusted, and whispers in its ear to Kill them all. ganon struggles, but the side of evil is were he belongs. he will not resist long. tendrils of mist caress his body and  tug at it, urging him ever onwards, to strike his former friends, to join his "enemys". he considers, for just a moment, and experiences a sudden rush of europia, as I manipulate many mist particles into behaving like endorphins. his sense of honour, what little he has, pushes against it, and the europia is replaced with an ache, a pain, and he feels awefull, and he gives in and the particals return to acting like dopamine and seratonin and whatever weird chemicals control happyness in puppets and hes happy and he will and there is no other option. he walks over to one of his former allys, who knows which, and, spurred on by the increasing amounts of various chemicals, he attacks them, mauls them, slices them to pieces, and he's happy, this is good, the world is good. nothing will stop him! ...and then my action ends and the statuses tick down and the chemicals fade and he realises what he's done, but its too late. he has already killed. will they ever forgive him? [Summery: inflict Confusion on puppetblight, but type it out as if it is closer to mindcontrol because how else are you going to guarantee they attack their allys?] [excess that is insufficient to add more confusion will be giving him (PB.ganon) virus or something]

You fail to inflict any confusion at all as that's a pretty powerful status effect and this block of text isn't particularly high quality. You do inflict 4 rounds of virus though.

QUOTE (Tabbune @ (time=1495809719))

10/20: Fire Dragon (+1 from Variant) 4/20: Second Flame Spear -- Amaria maintains the tether and keeps healing Azure. -- +2 Battlefury

3000 health to Azure.

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 17:05:00

The puppet guardian is still rollling around on the ground trying to get its feet back under it and is thus unable to fire its laser at anything. Puppetblight Ganon makes up the difference but reducing Thomas down to 1 hit point in a single attack via his puppetblight fury. Somebody's gonna be focused down this turn. The Puppet knight rides the swarms of puppet rats to glory and honor, a swarm of puppety cloth swarms the Terror Chicken, dealing 18000 damage to it. Azurewrath, having succeeded in putting down the earlier assault on his life and feeling a bit better thanks to all the healing, goes after the Terror Chicken, inflicting 7500 health of wounds on it. The Phoenix chips in on the effort and applies 2000 damage to the giant feathered fiend.

The Pseudo player applies plus and minus to the tax man and terror chicken respectively. This is an odd combination, because the tax man can't deal damage to the Terror Chicken, as it technically wasn't charged. The Tax Man goes after puppetblight ganon, unleashing a stream of unfiled tax forms that cut puppetblight ganon to its core. 10500 damage.

Thomas expends all of his creativity and unleashes a smash attack, but I'm too lazy to type out thirty thousand words right now, so instead I just describe the result. Two short words will suffice, as brevity is often considered to be the soul of wit: Pest Control. All but one of the swarms of puppet rats is completely obliterated... I... I... really should've toned down Thomas's damage potential. Oh well. The Terror chicken lets off an awful clucking and launches itself into the air with such force that several of its feathers flutter to the ground... AND THEN EXPLODE. Puppet guardian killed, last of the puppet rat swarms killed. The Terror Chicken is now airborne.

The Simumodder hands off the customary +5 to JOE, and then tell him to hold his beer. The Simumodder climbs up a massive ladder that wasn't there a few moments before. Everyone watches as he climbs higher and higher, up out of sight. Finally, you hear a distant "CANNONBALL!!"... and then you can see him, accelerating through the air, going straight down. He lands, sending massive chunks of rock up everywhere, dealing 5000 damage to the phoenix and to azurewrath. The ladder falls over and bashes puppetblight ganon on the head for 10000 more damage, it unfortunately also taps Thomas, who dies.

Everything ticks up, no further targets are inflicted with virus.

Itinerary:
Destroy the Simumodder!
Destroy the Terror Chicken!

Entity Advantage: [AS]

Weather: Sword Dance (2000 damage to two PS entities every round.)
Terrain: Flooded (deals 2000 damage to every entity each round.)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 87/100. Cool and New Portal Armor [A]. Golden Sun [A]. Nuclear Heaven [A]
Terror Chicken [PS][Elite] Hp: 164,500/300,000. Chicken out: 1/2. Feathery Wrath: 3/4. Marked. airborne. 1 Minus
Thomas [PS - JOE] Hp: DED/9. Creativity []. 0/4.
JOEbob [PS - Player] Hp: 21/22. Astral Energy: 32%. Energy Stored: 34/64. Solar Adrenaline: 4/5. Disorient 4/6

Pseudo-Player [N - Variant]: HP: 14/20. Polarize 1/2. 2/10
Tax Man [N - Variant]: HP: 30,000/40,000. Capital Gains 3/10. 1 Plus

Healing note x4
Puppetblight Ganon [AS - Marron] Hp: 5,500/50,000. Death: 14. Divine Beast: 6/10. 1 Minus. Virus 3 rounds.
Azurewrath, Lord of the Void [AS - Redstone] Hp: 14,000/60,000. 1 Plus. 2 rounds
Phoenix [AS - DCCCV] Hp: 15,000/20,000. ranged.
Puppet Knight [AS - 1412] Hp: 30,000/30,000. Valor: 2/5
SparkedTheorem [AS - Player] Hp: 17/20. Firebrand [A] Durability: 55%. Illumina [A] Durability: 95%
Emerald [AS - Player] Hp: 20/20. Blood blade [A] Durability: 100%
1412 [AS - Player] Hp: 20/20. Present from the Present: 2/4. Actions: 0/5.

---

The Local Town: The market
pigs running amok
broken down cart
children running amok
bewildered guards
rampaging cow
JOEbob

Stronghold Pillar Room
Annis/Alicia
Variant
Prison Cell corridor
Monster sounds corridor
Water corridor
Unkown corridor

Stronghold Monster Corridor
Skeleton: Hp: 7
Zombies x2: Hp: 7
Variant.



AS:
Jondanger23
DCCCV
Redstonetam15
1412
Tabbune
Battlefury
Irecreeper

N:
Variant

PS
JOEbob

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 17:05:00

32%
34/64
use all energy on attack.
a cold wind 24/30 +3 simu +2 a mirrored clock
6/blarg Icey wall +2 simu
+2 Varient
I calm down the raging cow with enough tranquilizers to bring down an elephant, then continue to the main field where I gather orbs of cyan light and hurl them at ganon, and they hold him in place while I pour ( titin) on him, wonder if theres a limit to the size of posts here, discover that 1) there is and 2) it is smaller then 189,819 letters, then set him on fire, freeze him, ask a teacher what state of matter fire is once they say there are 3 states of matter, tell them I won't sue if they kill gannon, give them a knife, point them to ganon, take a nap, wake up, see gannons dead, congradulate the teacher, consider suing them anyway, decide not to, and then spread my extra attack damage, should there be any, to all AS non-players by grabing each letter from the scientific name for titin, including the ones I couldn't post here, and toss them over my shoulder at everyone else.
however, I'm bored. so this isn't done.
in homage to a very early series of attacks, I take out my pickaxe. been a while ,eh?
I toss the pickaxe at puppetblight gannon, but being the final boss he's able to block such an easy attack. however, as with the past, the pickaxe ricochets off the stone and bounces back, scraping at gannons armor. this means he'll have to split his attention, as the simumodder once did. I then conjure the helix blade from the void between unknown games, and slash at gannon, using a slight relation to link (fierce deity, in majoras mask) to damage him, before dodging back and using the latent powers of the sword to send rocks flying towards ganon. the pickaxe, all this time, continues to bounce off his armor, but its not dealing enough damage. annoyed, I point at where its going to next impact the ground with the helix blade. the ground flashes orange once as the kanji (japanese thingy) for "bound" appears for a second, then quickly fades. satisfyed, I take off my shoes and throw them at him, though they deal no damage. the real aim was to gain easy access to my socks. remember this?
no?
's fine, it was a long time ago.
I take off my socks and reveal that their still different colours. the sock police is probably going to catch up to me later...
anyway, I take off my right sock, which is gray with intricate patterns, and spin it, creating a whirlwind at my feet. this has the "unfortunate" affect of sending the smell of my feet, which are probably really sweaty since I've never cleaned them since this battle started, towards gannon, distracting him with stink for my next strike.
at the same time, the pickaxe flys towards the area marked with [bound], and I simultaneously leap forwards. I kick ganon, and the stench of my feet is even worse up close. its almost too much to bare, but then the pickaxe bounces off the ground and accelerates, boosted by bound. the impact knocks gannon off his feet, and I conjure a few more socks. using the unbeatable sockchuck technique, I whirl the socks, all at once, but I'm not so good at it. the socks randomly slip out of my grasp while I'm trying to look cool.
yes, look cool.
even though I'm spinning around a bunch of socks.
anyway, they slip out of my grasp and fly off in random directions. but thats fine! i can still rely on my old pal, good old fishcuffs.
not fistcuffs, why would you think that? I would never punch a fellow human!
no, these are handcuffs made of fish.
I handcuff ganon, then decide you know what, ganon isn't human, hes a puppet, so punching him is perfectly acceptable. I then start punching him.
and punching him.
and punching him.
it looks like I've forgotten that this attack has to end eventually.
my past self of course. I can't tell you what i did and do it at the same time, right?
even though I do that all the time, still.
yes, I forgot to stop punching him
when did I stop?
never.
how am I telling you this then?
uhhhhhhh
magic...?
no, I would never embelish how long I punched him for more damage! how DARE you think that.
what do you mean you haven't said anything this whole time?
hrmph.

Meanwhile, I note that 8 charges is normally equal to 8 player HP and thomas had no respawns remaining, as well as that his damage per post avarages lower then a typical 30-charge entity, even if he is left alone and never loses actions via death. if I somehow, against all odds, convince piono that +2 MHP was too little and he won't/doesn't feel like undoing what happened then i attempt to harness the wasted charge to clear up assorted hazards in SIDEQUEST.
oh he still has a life. nvm.

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 17:05:00

+1 Ire/Tabbune

5/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise (+1 Joe)
22/30 A Snowball’s Chance (+3 Joe)

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 18:42:00

o---Chages---
Return: 23 / 30 (+4, 1412)
Thermal Power: 2 / 20
+2 to 1412
Current Summons

Marron decides that the only way to stop the titin attack is by saying the ENTIRE WORD! That's how logic works, right? She grabs a microphone and a speaker, and begins to recite every single last word in titin. The full version. The speaker, amped up to [LOUD], fires bursts of soundwaves that blasts away the flow of titin onto Puppetblight Ganon, splashing it in JOE's face instead. The burning implement that JOE tries to use also ends up getting deflected into his face!

When JOE tries to get a teacher to kill Ganon, Ette helpfully points the speaker towards the teacher, sending them about a mile away. Then, to top it all off, when JOE tries to toss the scientific name of titin at some AS's, the soundwaves blow it into his face! In the process, soundwaves also carry four trees, two raccoons, and at least five whole creepers into his face. The explosive pain is... very painful, to say the least. What's also very painful is Marron's ears, which may or may not be bleeding from how loud the speaker was. But hey- that's the price of deflecting attacks, right?

Puppetblight will use Death's Scythe on Thomas if possible for whatever reason! If it isn't possible, he'll target the Terror Chicken!

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 18:50:00

wait a minute

did i seriously forget to post

*breath in*

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I throw a giant frog at the Terror Chicken.

super mario 128: 10/12

NO SIR, I DIDN'T BLOW UP MEDBAY: 5/30



Modedit: fixing the page's width problem

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 20:51:00

/null
Joe I think your spoiler and super-word just broke the page's formatting.

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 21:59:00