Avarat Awakening: 6/20
judgement: 5/20

...Ow.

I give the puppet seraph and Puppetratster each some treats, as promised. i also toss a package of Pop-Smarts at the zomboss mech cockpit.

Surprise! these pop-smarts are especially potent! Gene Error is full of ideas! He jumps out of the mech for a bit and crawls all over wit with a wrench, and when all is said and done it's in much better condition. he climbs back into the cockpit looking pretty pleased with himself.

I also say "oof... would any AS wanna hold onto this scythe for me while it charges its thing? Def can't take a hit like that again... Oh wait Variant you want it. Hm. WELL I suppose it can't hurt... well it could but it won't necessarily. Theoretical pain is better than absolute pain imo."


Originally posted on 2017-04-10 20:24:00

7/20 Azurewrath (+1 from variant)
7/20 Kewl Sord

+2 to variant

Chloe punches the Rat Seraph in the face with bandages, which somehow heals it.
Zilly rushes into the Worshipper before using Cleaver on him/her/it/tem/apache.

SparkedTheorem learns how to use a .dll injector. He injects a script into the simulation that destroys and Security Bots that exist.



Originally posted on 2017-04-10 21:12:00

I glue some bombs to the Worshipper and throw him at the Vengeful Night.

last charge until hell: 4/15

+1 to Redstone, +1 to Battlefury

Originally posted on 2017-04-10 21:39:00

i force vengeful night to pass a 1% luck check. If it fails, it is flattened by a bag of falling bricks and takes a ton of damage. If it succeeds, it instantly goes north and freezes to death.


??? - The Archer 9/10

XX - Judgement 36/100 (12/20 2+ from Redstone 2+ from 1412 1+ from Jon 20/20 (Emerald_Mann) 4/20 (1412) 0/20 0/20)

+1 Emerald
+1 1412

Originally posted on 2017-04-10 21:40:00

o---Chages---
Puppet Plague: 19 / 20 (+4, Simu, JOE, 1412)
Marron is Maybe Going to Instantly Kill a Guy: 5 / 5 (HOLDING...)
+1 to JOE
+1 to Variant
Current Summons

Marron promptly revives near the outskirts of the battlefield as Ette tosses the Life Bottle onto the ground. Marron's hand promptly pops out of the pool of the healing liquid, and is then pulled out of the pool by her sister. Marron is then pulled into a warm hug by her sister, who hugs her tighter then she ever has before. In fact, if Ette wasn't made of fabric, she surely would've crushed the life out of her sister right then and there. But she didn't. Marron struggles to break free of her sister's grip, despite her face clearly showing that she's enjoying the hug.

tc: Aw, don't worry, sis!
tc: I'm back now, and you'll be okay.

Ette releases her sister, who promptly falls backwards into the pool of liquid from the Life Bottle. Instead of acting like an actual pool, she smacks into it like a person would when falling into an actual puddle. Marron takes a moment to catch her breath, then notices that Ette's trembling...

tc: D-Do you need a moment, sis?
tc: I'm here for you if you need it.
tc: Here, why don't we...

Marron takes a seat at the outskirts of the battlefield, and takes a moment to comfort her would-be-crying sister. She tries her absolute hardest to convince her that dying wasn't really that bad (even though it was), and to Marron's relief, she does manage to get through to her. While Ette takes a moment to relax and calm herself, Marron reads that note that Ette got from 1412. While she does take the +2, she does take some time to walk up to 1412. Remember that aura of sheer malice from last post? Marron is absolutely glowing in it now, despite having some massive dissonance as she talks to 1412 with a calm, happy voice and a cute little smile.

tc: Sup. Remember me...?
tc: So, anyway, I'd like to make a request~
tc: Give me back my murderstick, or, well...
tc: I'll very, very happily turn you into a puddle.
tc: Ette wouldn't even be mad if I tortured you, I think...

Marron is apparently holding a rather sharp looking sewing needle behind her back.

tc: So.
tc: What do you say...?
tc: I'll even sweeten the deal if you want, and give you this nice 5-post charge~
tc: Of course, I'll need my scythe in exchange...
tc: In fact...

Marron giggles like a schoolgirl. Again, absolutely terrifying.

tc: You're not looking very good at the moment. Why not just hand it over...?
tc: It'd only take a few stabs to kill you~

Marron is still standing there with a small, "moe" smile. There is absolutely no smile more terrifying than the one that Marron has right now.

Meanwhile, Ette attempts to leverage some RP bonus to stitch together some Security Bots. She's not entirely sure how to harness it, but she has a needle, some thread, and lots of little cloth patches with "get well soon" scribbled onto them. Ette's not exactly happy with her handwriting skills, but her skill with a needle is somehow far, far better than her skill with a pen.

The Puppet Rats will attack 1412 (or whoever is holding the Nightmarron) if 1412 doesn't hand over the Nightmarron. Otherwise, they'll attack the Vengeful God Incarnate.

Originally posted on 2017-04-10 22:07:00

1's TSN: 7/20
Judgement: still 20/20
...how is the Living Virus still alive? Meh, I don't care. I decide to hold off on 1's TSN and instead use the seven charges built up to heal the Living Virus 2.0
+2 redstone

Originally posted on 2017-04-10 22:13:00

Just going to make a note. Just like it wasn't fair to 1412 to let JOE just steal the Nightmarron I'm not going to let you just hand off the Nightmarron without repurcussions. You're better off trying to heal up/block incoming attacks.

/announcment post

Originally posted on 2017-04-11 15:34:00

I consider Marron's offer.
"Hmm, tempting, tempting... However, consider this."
I toss the scythe to Variant. As Marron's watching the scythe fly through the air, I very quickly tie her shoelaces together. While she's dealing with that, I tie the tails of several puppet rats together and use them as a very violent rat-of-nine-rats. I take this weapon and promptly drop it down a well because a weapon that wants to kill you is not a terribly good weapon at all.

Avarat Awakening-> healing brew: 8/8
I summon an antique healbot for variant! its battlecry heals him. I then destroy it immediately because I don't wanna split this charge between healing and summoning.
judgement: 6/20
Avarat Awakening 1/20
+1 battlefury

+1 variant

Originally posted on 2017-04-12 18:44:00

i force vengeful night to pass a 1% luck check. If it fails, it is flattened by a bag of falling bricks and takes a ton of damage. If it succeeds, it instantly goes north and freezes to death.


A massive projectile suddenly slams into the earth, leaving a extremely-poorly-drawn crater. A green glow emits from the center of the crater, and a surge of radiation blows across the field; much to the annoyance and dread of everyone as they are reminded of that time their entity was slowly executed by ten turns of radiation over in another time and another game. Because that sure is fun. A tune that sounds awfully like a MIDI, except with less meme value, drifts out of the crater. The entire battlefield gathers around the edge, trying to get a glance at what is within..

When suddenly, a massive mechanical mech, propelled by radiation and crappy memes, comes blasting out of the crater. It lands right in the Celestial Realm, and decides it could use a little cleanup. By that, we mean a ton of radiation, and MIDI memes. The Nuclear MIDI is quick to put the centerpiece of the Celestial Realm, the Sky Portal Palace of Fire And Edge, into one of those crappy and inferior sites that produce MIDI conversions. The result is flawed, but nevertheless holy. Absolutely divine music flows out of what was once the Sky Portal Palace of Fire And Edge.

Next, it realizes that since the PS side is receiving "ally of the sky", the Celestial Realm must have a Embassy. As it turns out it does- The Embassy of The Skies. Each round, it's master diplomats negotiate with the PS side, forging the same alliance time and time again. The Nuclear MIDI walks up to it, and using it's mastery of music memes, replaces the broadcasting system they rely upon to commune with the battlefield and forge those alliances, to instead construct vaporwave songs from their communications. Tragically, they go insane after the second masterpiece. The Nuclear MIDI then explodes the place with a freaking laser beam anyway, killing the staff in the process.

But whats this? One of the diplomats undergoes a rapid mutantion progress. The very essence of meme music and radiation blend within him. Someone then imprisons him in a aquarium for no real reason. He then MIDIutes into a FISH. a Fish Is Super Hungry, to be precise. It decides to consume everything, by shooting it with it's Meme Revolver. It promptly goes on a killing spree for no reason other than to CONSUME so he can MIDI.

Needless to say, the Celestial Realm is thoroughly wrecked. Radiation is spreading at a stupidly fast rate, creating more FISHs. The Nuclear MIDI is slowly converting everything into vaporwave songs. Edgelords are dying of too much edge, portalmancers are telefragging themselves. You know, usual end of the world fare. A Correspondence-Covered Uranium Bomb That Sets The Town on Fire And Leaves No Survivors (A FUN bomb, where F is "a fire that burns down an entire town", U is "a uranium bomb that horribly irritates everything and destroys an entire city" and N is "No Survivors Whatsoever") lays further waste to the place.

The FISHs then decide to POP. But first, they need to become a cheap copy of FISH. The FISHs all do a FISH DANCE, FISH fish FISH fish FISH fish in Fishton where the FISH fish. A massive black hole then rips it's self into existence, sucking up all the FISH, as well as the nuclear MIDI. This summons a cheap duplicate of FISH, who can pop. The entire celestial realm turns into a balloon, while FISH pulls out a massive needle that easily stretches beyond The Great Horizon, though fields of scarred stars, and all the way to Light's End. He then jumps on the blunt end of the needle.

Needless to say, the Celestial Balloon does not survive. The cheap FISH duplicate, now in it's last dying seconds proceeds to attempt to POP Vaporwave into the very essence of the simulation, but alas, dies before he finishes. A bunch of toons with various melodic instraments just outside the battlefield watch as Minnie's Melodyland proceeds to flatten the Puppet Rat Dystopia, somehow harnessing the musical powers of the MIDI's. A bunch of healing musical notes appear on the AG side, which can probably be picked up for an action, and will continue to appear for as long as the Melodyland exists.



??? - The Archer 10/10
A random archer dude snipes the Nightmarron mid-flight, and proceeds to rant about how edgy-ripoff OC-created scythes are illegal according to the Law as established by the judgements, scribbles a bunch of lines all over Marron and 1412's face that clearly aren't correspondence, and then proceeds to break Nightmarron over his knees multiple times, before going on yet another rant- something about silver?- and then runs off into the distance.

XX - Judgement 39/100 (13/20 1+ from Jon 20/20 (Emerald_Mann) 6/20 (1412) 0/20 0/20)

+1 marron
+1 1412

Originally posted on 2017-04-12 19:27:00

Hey, tha--
Wait, what?

Beta watches as the artifact he had just threatened someone over gets sniped by a random archer while it was in the middle of being thrown to him.
But, since said archer seems fairly uninterested at him, he decides to take the opportunity the archer was giving him to try to get the Nightmarron again. For some reason, he begins to feel a sudden urge to start shouting about how it was his, but he puts this immature idea aside to think of better ones. And he comes up with one.

So, he begins work on a cunning ploy. He starts to create a masterful duplicate of the Nightmarron, investing a great deal of effort and whatever amount of charge he would need to (so long as that number is less than or equal to 3, or else just all of Armed Neutrality, since I have a feeling that I might be needing the other charges soon) into replicating its every detail.
And by that, I of course mean that he slaps some plastic food containers and water bottles together, throws in some scraps of metal and bullet casings to make sure it feels as heavy as it should and make it seem as though it could have been a (very poorly-made) gun-scythe at some point when broken, and paints it to look like the Nightmarron. Thus, the Nitmaroon is created.

Then, while the archer is still ranting (man, can this guy ever rant) he sneaks up to where the real Nightmarron is, puts the Nitmaroon in its place, and absconds with the Nightmarron, shortly before the archer would have broken it.

As he’s running, he passes by JOE.

Oh, hey!
Thanks for the portals, by the way!
I would’ve gotten back to you sooner, but…
I had stuff to do.
Also, hope you don’t mind if I take this!

Before JOE can respond to this, Beta thanks him for his consent and runs off, shouting about how he had more stuff to do.

Also, since I had forgotten to order the Basic Slime before, it attacks one of the Apostles of Blood.


+1 Joe/Ire
19/20 An Affront and a Front (+3 Redstone, Ire)
(0-3)/15 Armed Neutrality

Originally posted on 2017-04-12 19:38:00

o---Chages---
Puppet Plague: 20 / 20 (HOLDING...)
Marron is Maybe Going to Instantly Kill a Guy: 5 / 5 (you asked for it)
+1 to JOE
+1 to Variant
Current Summons

Marron uses her innate powers to manipulate the threads in her boots, and untie her shoelaces. She then properly ties them without even bending down. She then ever-so-slowly strolls up to 1412.

tc: Well.
tc: This is why I hardly ever try diplomacy.
tc: Give somebody a chance...

A rather large sewing needle materialises out of the air, appearing in Marron's hand. Her fingers curl around it.

tc: ...and they'll always do something unbearably stupid.
tc: Good riddance.

Marron promptly expends her 5-post charge, and shanks 1412 in the chest with her needle. She happily twists the needle around in his body, before ripping it out and stabbing him again. After seven more lightning-fast stabs to the chest, Marron twirls around and boots him in the face, sending him to the ground. Bits of thread then wrap around his arms and legs, and begin to violently constrict around his limbs, crushing them.

tc: You didn't even TRY and survive this.
tc: You could've fixed yourself up with that charge, but nooooo- you can't even sense the sheer malice from the girl that's about to gouge your eyes out!

Marron then follows up on the eye-gouging, summoning two needles that streak down from above and violently enter his eyeballs. The two needles twist and contort in his skull, leaving a whole lot of blood everywhere. Along with the needles come spools of barbed thread, so that once the needles surge up and out of his eyesockets, the barbed thread rips out more flesh along with them. While there's probably enough attack to kill him by this point, Marron decides that there's absolutely no kill like overkill. Another thread appears and wraps around his neck, and begins to choke the life out of him. Marron then promptly kneels down on 1412, needle in hand.

She maniacally laughs as she begins to rapidly stab 1412 all over his upper body, the needle perforating skin and drawing even more blood with every entry wound. Up and down go Marron's arms, never slowing down as she keeps on stabbing him, oblivious to the blood that's going everywhere. Even when he's expired, Marron doesn't stop stabbing. After what seems like an hour of violent stabbing, Marron finally tires, her malice faded. She dismounts the corpse, leaving the murder weapon deep inside the skull of her victim. The first thing she does after finishing him off is head to the nearest body of water, and take a bath, clothes and all. Blood is hard to wash out unless you do it right away, after all.

Originally posted on 2017-04-12 20:29:00

mastery: 24%
energy: 4/46
rounds till [REDACTED]: 2
NULL.wrp 20/20 held!
beta 10/11 +1 ire +1 varient
+2 ire
as Beta starts to talk to me, the world tints a crystal blue and he is forcefully slowed to a stop by an unknown force.[big][big][big]
Beta.[/big][/big][/big]
I wished to be friendly.
but.
I will not allow my action, in which much effort was invested, to be taken advantage of.
if you get the nightmarron?
your dead.
if you don't? not dead, because you remain invulnerable, but thats not the point.
you have garnered much ill will.
as well, I do not believe you can drain charges that way.
regardless.
silence is not acceptance, nor permission.
I do very much mind.
first, lets shift perspective.
JOE leaps forwards, moving through the blue mass with ease, and grabs betas head. he lifts it, beta still stunned by the mass, and throws him, Hard, through the air. the mass shatters, but I don't give him enough time to react before lobbing a runestone at him, then stabbing my heavily engraved blade into the ground. a glowing line goes from the blade and reaches the runestone, which flashes brightly, and 4 bands appear in the air, at the end of each of betas limbs, trapping him. I blink to him and raise several small rocks from the floor, sending them through betas mouth, and they land in his stomach. before a moment passes, I cast 'manifest' and the stones begin to expand, faster and faster, until It tears apart his skin. I then reform him with the power of blood, and slash him repeatedly with a massive blade of blue light. after thoroughly harming him, and stunning him from pain, I use his blood to brew a personal slowness 255 pot that only affects him, and repeat with mining fatigue, length of both being 'one turn'. having blocked his action, I throw the nightmarron at marron with cyan strings of light, causing it to land infront of them. I have already engraved several runes into extra metal plates that are lightly taped to it in order to prevent people who are not [PS] from interacting with it.
[incomplete]
[Action summery- stop variant/beta, specificaly from obtaining the nightmarron- the part where they stop it from being destroyed or something is fine. give marron the nightmarron if they don't have it already. if beta/varients attempt to pour charges into the action is a thing that can be done, up to the charges in beta(10 so far) is used on this. if I counter varient but fail to obtain the nightmarron or give it to marron, use beta(10) to ensure it succeeds. extra charge after all is said and done and any potential counters occur will be used to provide myself with increased MHP.]
[if possible and cannot give marron the Nmarron, take myself.]
[also, if possible, change the portals to protect marron or myself]

Originally posted on 2017-04-13 02:09:00

19 8/19.
20 10/20. (+3 from battlefury, +1 from Jon)

+1 to Battlefury.
+1 to Jon.

An non-Pain and Suffering-timeline version of Nomad appears. He begins setting up a table, placing a massive hexagon-covered board and some snacks on said table. He sits down, and invites the Vengeful Night to do the same. He sits too. Of course he does. This is a DTG attack.

First of all, Card Wars is SUPER complicated. When you start, all you have to do is floop your land cards, but then you gotta throw down some creatures, and that's where the strat magic happens. You start with 5 cards but at the end of your turn you discard a card and draw a new one...

Nomad's voice slowly blends in with the sound of battle around him, and VN falls asleep. A few hours later, he awakens to realise that Nomad is still explaining the rules.

...and that's the eighth draw condition. You can't get drawsier than that! Now that you know the rules, how about some... incentive!

Nomad takes a jar of HAM CHUNKS, opens it, then places the contents in a massive mug. He then pours in a cup of lemonade, demon heart extract (diluted), raw chicken, jellyfish jam, whatever THIS stuff is, the current contents of my oven, beetle butter, the current contents of my dishwasher, store-brand orange juice that had been left out for too long and developed a black film across the top, as well as a Bottle of Black Wings Absinthe for good measure. On that mug, he writes the word 'DWEEB' in sharp, unfriendly letters.

He then pours another mug. In this he pours Darkdrop Coffee, since apparently that's fairly okay for a Neathly drink. On this mug he writes the words 'COOL GUY' in large, friendly letters.

So... the dude who wins gets to drink from the Cool Guy cup and the loser has to drink from the Dweeb cup.

Since the Vengeful Night is the target of this attack, he doesn't really have the option to decline. I'm not going to bother with giving a proper reason that Vengeful Night accepts, since the very nature of DTG attacks means that he has no choice in the matter. Now, continuing.

Vengeful Night accepts this game, and begins playing. Nomad starts by flooping his land cards, turning them sideways. In order from left to right the following appear: an unnamed crystal landscape, a Sandy Lands landscape, then back to crystals, then back to sand. He picks up his starting hand, and smiles confidently, not even trying to make a pokerface.

The Vengeful Night floops his own lands, causing a set of four Useless Swamps to appear. Perfect.

I'll start. First off I'll summon Dullahan, Envoy of the Fourth Realm. Next I'll play Portal to the Fourth Realm, giving Dullahan two attacks AND magic immunity!

A massive, headless centaur made entirely of lead leaps out of the lane, followed by a portal so massive that it nearly spills into the next two lanes.

I can't attack until you chuck down some minions, so now it's your turn.

Vengeful Night stares at his hand, and slowly places down Rune Goblin Swamp Eater. The Rune Goblin appears to be some shivering goblin covered in robes, which are in turn covered in runes. The Swamp Eater appears to be a massive floating dragonfly worm thing with a probiscis. It pauses for a moment to do it's entry animation, then starts using it's probiscis to suck up the Useless Swamp it was floating over. It then leaves the battlefield, leaving VN with only 3 lanes to cast minions on.

HAHAHA! You're nuts, you know that! Why would you play Swamp Eater on a Useless Swamp when your opponent doesn't have any Ethereal Swampflies!? At least Rune Goblin is decent. Anyway, I guess its my turn now. I'll summon Timewalker, and use my remaining energy to have him attack your Rune Goblin. His special ability lets me draw a card whenever he attacks an entity that's not on the same land type as him.

Nomad draws a card and--

HAHAHA! This is perfect. Since I have both Timekeeper and a building card, this new card will give me two extra turns! I PLAY TIME STOP-

Time does as Nomad commands it, and freezes in place. It doesn't appear to be resuming any time soon. Vengeful Night probably has some sort mix of anger, confusion and fear painted over his face. I decide to take a picture of it, for posterity.

'Who am I?' you might ask. 'None of your business,' I might answer. 'Why can't you move?' you might also ask. 'Stop asking questions,' I might also answer. Nomad, Vengeful Night and the rest of the field don't appear to be going anywhere anytime soon, so I'll just take the Nightmarron and be off. I do so, prying it out of the hands of whoever might have it right now, and placing it into my own.

What? You thought this was an attack on Vengeful Night? I can see why you would think that, but this is no attack. This isn't even real Card Wars.

This is simply the greatest misdirection play of all time.

Originally posted on 2017-04-13 22:09:00

9/20 Azurewrath (+1 from Emerald)
9/20 Kewl Sord (+1 from Emerald)

+1 Emerald, +1 Toast

SparkedTheorem grabs a M16 and decides to shoot the Worshipper.



Originally posted on 2017-04-14 02:13:00

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1491839320))

ploccoholder

You're a doofus trickle, you know that right? Mean that in the kindest way possible.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1491840157))

mastery: 23% energy: 24/46 rounds till [REDACTED]: 2 NULL.wrp 19/20 beta 7/10ish +2 simu +1 ire I was gonna kill 1412 but i just realised he can survive any one non-smash. +2 ire I create two portals for the basic slime as a favour, and sigh upon discovering the simumodder can't help me. I then decide to go to my homeland where the post convenience is strong, and find the astral mountain. I am immediately stopped by a mist figure, who asks why I am here. I respond with "I Need kno how am become godmadder" and he says oh, ok. I then run really really fast to the top of the mountain, where the elder waits. he says theres some legend and notices my astral level is at a mere 23%, saying I am weak. after that, he starts to gather his own energy, and imparts on me a vision of an alternate simumodder who became a godmodder normally, and is telling alternate-me how to become one. Spoiler Alert [spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler] also, you know what? sure, its not fair to 1412. but it also isn't fair to me for that animation, which was apparently enough to SMASH, to end up entirely failing to complete my goal. sure, hes hurt, a lot. but hes still alive, and nightmarron is still his. ... . . . S i g h . . . and i didn't even want to smash if i didn't have to. that ruins my plans. seriously, that was 45,000 damage. theres No way I would be using it on killing 1412 if I knew. as Another note, if it was enough to accomplish my goal, but instead it takes the form of doing something that, in my opinion, is Useless compared to succeeding, then thats... ... ........ I guess this is useless to complain about. Joe continues seething in rage. [/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler] also I scan vengeful night again, with a slight focus on whether he is immune to bleed

Already addressed concerns about 1412 attempting to hand off the thing.
You attempt to get a vision of an alternate simumodder who got his powers normally... but it looks like its a universal constant that the Simumodder was just programmed into the simulation to have his rank! That's what the simulation was for after all! Timelines within the simulation are only going to diverge after the simulation has begun. Finding your way to godmodderhood is going to be harder than just asking a question.
The Simumodder decides to take pity on you however, and informs you that the nearest town to the battlefield usually has plot relevant books in its library. You'll have to find the library and get in first, of course, and probably do tons of bullcrap sidequest stuff along the way,
Portals placed.

As a boss, vengeful night has immunities to various status effects, bleed, being percentage based, is sadly one of them. It would be dumb to be dealing 15K damage every round from a low-level status effect.

QUOTE (variant @ (time=1491849260))

Beta turns toward 1412. Alright… So… 1412? Yeah, that’s it. We’ve talked before. Sorry to ask this of you, but… That artifact there. The Night-something. Can I have it? In the event that 1412 responds like any rational human being Oh, well. I guess I’ll need ano-- Before he can finish his thought, he gets an e-mail. Hold that thought. This is probably important. He pulls out his phone, opens the e-mail, reads it, sighs again, and puts his phone back into his inventory. Sorry about that. Actually, extend that to the next couple of things I’m about to do and say as well. I’ve been told I’m not supposed to take no for an answer. So, uh… Have at thee, I guess. Then, before 1412 can react, Beta runs up, grabs their leg, and proceeds to swing them over his head. 1412 then slams down hard on a conveniently-placed massive spring platform and bounces off into the sky. ... Do I even have to ask? Beta follows him up, and he meets 1412 at a point slightly below the apex of their bounce. And by “he” I mean the massive spear he pulled out on the way up. The two then proceed to fall down, right back onto the spring. But it’s at this moment that a refrigerator proceeds to fall from the sky right onto the platform next to them, giving them a massive double bounce and sending them even further into the air. Beta then swings the spear back around so 1412 flies off it into the air beneath him, releasing the spear in the process, and pulls out a machine gun. Then, he unloads the entire clip, while the two are falling back down, and falls just faster than 1412 for just long enough that he can get 1412 in a choke hold by the time they have touched down. The two land on the spring again, but this time, there’s an entire mountain landing at the same time as them, which gives them the extra force necessary to reach escape velocity and be flung into space. As the pair approaches a nearby planet, Beta ties a massive rope around 1412’s waist and pushes them toward it. This lowers 1412 so much that they start to experience massive friction from the atmosphere, which gives them the equivalent of history’s worst ever carpet burn. Before this can actually slow the pair down enough to send them careening toward the planet, though, Beta pulls 1412 back up, and they meet in the middle, with Beta having his fist outstretched for the meeting. Then he pushes 1412 back down again, then pulls them up again, over and over until they have completely turned around and are flying back toward the planet where all of the rest of what’s going on is taking place. Beta holds 1412 out in front of him, so they take the brunt of the reentry forces as the two crash back down, this time not on the spring. He then picks up Nightmarron from 1412, while the latter is unconscious or otherwise unable to retaliate due to the forces inflicted upon them. Sorry about all that. Thanks for this, though. Also, have this as… Compensation. He then drops the +2 mentioned at the end of the post onto 1412. But all of this is assuming that 1412 doesn’t just hand Nightmarron over upon someone simply walking up and asking for it. But, just in case... If 1412 does it Oh, really? Well, uh… Thanks. Also, take this. As a payment of sorts. Beta then takes the Nightmarron, tosses 1412 the +2 mentioned at the end of the post, and walks off, muttering that he didn’t believe that would work. Then, he basically does all of this, but with 1412 replaced with the Vengeful Night. And without the part at the end about taking Nightmarron, because that would just be redundant and/or silly. For reference The basic idea to snipe Nightmarron was planned before I put up this placeholder, but the attack itself was written after some stuff (I don’t know how much yet) was posted beyond it. I hadn’t actually read any of it at time of writing, and I didn’t know whether or not someone else had already claimed Nightmarron in a later post (though I thought that that would be likely). When I had come up with this idea, I had thought that I could take advantage of the situation JOE had left in place from the end of the last turn to get what was essentially a free artifact. But, I had no intention of doing anything that resembled placeholder abuse. So, in summary, while this might or might not be a bit of a scumbag move depending on who you ask, I would rather have someone mad at me for blatant opportunism, unprovoked aggression, and complete disregard for ownership of artifacts than for trying to abuse placeholders. And before you ask, I decided that I would write all of this because at time of writing I was of the understanding that it would be unlikely that this would not be contested, and decided to take some measures to try to support my case before I would need to have one, and that I might be deleting this spoiler later if I never ended up needing it. Because, if you couldn’t tell, I like having flexibility on possible points of contention, with possible outcry over this move being one such point. +2 1412 15/20 An Affront and a Front 2/15 Armed Neutrality

You ask 1412 for the Nightmarron. I can already feel the gambits piling up.

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1491852248))

Avarat Awakening: 6/20 judgement: 5/20 ...Ow. I give the puppet seraph and Puppetratster each some treats, as promised. i also toss a package of Pop-Smarts at the zomboss mech cockpit. Surprise! these pop-smarts are especially potent! Gene Error is full of ideas! He jumps out of the mech for a bit and crawls all over wit with a wrench, and when all is said and done it's in much better condition. he climbs back into the cockpit looking pretty pleased with himself. I also say "oof... would any AS wanna hold onto this scythe for me while it charges its thing? Def can't take a hit like that again... Oh wait Variant you want it. Hm. WELL I suppose it can't hurt... well it could but it won't necessarily. Theoretical pain is better than absolute pain imo."

You heal up the Zomboss mech for 6000 health, and decide you're going to give the scythe to variant.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1491855148))

7/20 Azurewrath (+1 from variant) 7/20 Kewl Sord +2 to variant Chloe punches the Rat Seraph in the face with bandages, which somehow heals it. Zilly rushes into the Worshipper before using Cleaver on him/her/it/tem/apache. SparkedTheorem learns how to use a .dll  injector. He injects a script into the simulation that destroys and Security Bots that exist.

Your entities will do as you say, 2000 damage to all three of the security bots.

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1491856759))

I glue some bombs to the Worshipper and throw him at the Vengeful Night. last charge until hell: 4/15 +1 to Redstone, +1 to Battlefury

Kaboom. 3000 damage to both.

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1491856810))

i force vengeful night to pass a 1% luck check. If it fails, it is flattened by a bag of falling bricks and takes a ton of damage. If it succeeds, it instantly goes north and freezes to death. ??? - The Archer 9/10 XX - Judgement 36/100 (12/20 2+ from Redstone 2+ from 1412 1+ from Jon 20/20 (Emerald_Mann) 4/20 (1412) 0/20 0/20) +1 Emerald +1 1412

62. Check failed. BRICK'D. 7000 damage.

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1491858445))

o---Chages--- Puppet Plague: 19 / 20 (+4, Simu, JOE, 1412) Marron is Maybe Going to Instantly Kill a Guy: 5 / 5 (HOLDING...) +1 to JOE +1 to Variant Current Summons Marron promptly revives near the outskirts of the battlefield as Ette tosses the Life Bottle onto the ground. Marron's hand promptly pops out of the pool of the healing liquid, and is then pulled out of the pool by her sister. Marron is then pulled into a warm hug by her sister, who hugs her tighter then she ever has before. In fact, if Ette wasn't made of fabric, she surely would've crushed the life out of her sister right then and there. But she didn't. Marron struggles to break free of her sister's grip, despite her face clearly showing that she's enjoying the hug. tc: Aw, don't worry, sis! tc: I'm back now, and you'll be okay. Ette releases her sister, who promptly falls backwards into the pool of liquid from the Life Bottle. Instead of acting like an actual pool, she smacks into it like a person would when falling into an actual puddle. Marron takes a moment to catch her breath, then notices that Ette's trembling... tc: D-Do you need a moment, sis? tc: I'm here for you if you need it. tc: Here, why don't we... Marron takes a seat at the outskirts of the battlefield, and takes a moment to comfort her would-be-crying sister. She tries her absolute hardest to convince her that dying wasn't really that bad (even though it was), and to Marron's relief, she does manage to get through to her. While Ette takes a moment to relax and calm herself, Marron reads that note that Ette got from 1412. While she does take the +2, she does take some time to walk up to 1412. Remember that aura of sheer malice from last post? Marron is absolutely glowing in it now, despite having some massive dissonance as she talks to 1412 with a calm, happy voice and a cute little smile. tc: Sup. Remember me...? tc: So, anyway, I'd like to make a request~ tc: Give me back my murderstick, or, well... tc: I'll very, very happily turn you into a puddle. tc: Ette wouldn't even be mad if I tortured you, I think... Marron is apparently holding a rather sharp looking sewing needle behind her back. tc: So. tc: What do you say...? tc: I'll even sweeten the deal if you want, and give you this nice 5-post charge~ tc: Of course, I'll need my scythe in exchange... tc: In fact... Marron giggles like a schoolgirl. Again, absolutely terrifying. tc: You're not looking very good at the moment. Why not just hand it over...? tc: It'd only take a few stabs to kill you~ Marron is still standing there with a small, "moe" smile. There is absolutely no smile more terrifying than the one that Marron has right now. Meanwhile, Ette attempts to leverage some RP bonus to stitch together some Security Bots. She's not entirely sure how to harness it, but she has a needle, some thread, and lots of little cloth patches with "get well soon" scribbled onto them. Ette's not exactly happy with her handwriting skills, but her skill with a needle is somehow far, far better than her skill with a pen. The Puppet Rats will attack 1412 (or whoever is holding the Nightmarron) if 1412 doesn't hand over the Nightmarron. Otherwise, they'll attack the Vengeful God Incarnate.

RP bonus leveraged. 10000 healtth restored to the weakest security bot.
Puppet rats will do as you say.

QUOTE (Emerald_Mann @ (time=1491858838))

1's TSN: 7/20 Judgement: still 20/20 ...how is the Living Virus still alive? Meh, I don't care. I decide to hold off on 1's TSN and instead use the seven charges built up to heal the Living Virus 2.0 +2 redstone

7 charge expended, 10500 health restored to the Living Virus.

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1491921254))

Just going to make a note. Just like it wasn't fair to 1412 to let JOE just steal the Nightmarron I'm not going to let you just hand off the Nightmarron without repurcussions. You're better off trying to heal up/block incoming attacks. /announcment post

*rubs hands and cackles maniacally at impending bloodshed*

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1492019087))

I consider Marron's offer. "Hmm, tempting, tempting... However, consider this." I toss the scythe to Variant. As Marron's watching the scythe fly through the air, I very quickly tie her shoelaces together. While she's dealing with that, I tie the tails of several puppet rats together and use them as a very violent rat-of-nine-rats. I take this weapon and promptly drop it down a well because a weapon that wants to kill you is not a terribly good weapon at all. Avarat Awakening-> healing brew: 8/8 I summon an antique healbot for variant! its battlecry heals him. I then destroy it immediately because I don't wanna split this charge between healing and summoning. judgement: 6/20 Avarat Awakening 1/20 +1 battlefury +1 variant

You attempt to pass off the Nightmarron...
Healing charge not expended due to events that transpire in later posts.
puppet rat swarm almost killed. Ally of the sky kicks in and heals it to 1000.

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1492021664))

i force vengeful night to pass a 1% luck check. If it fails, it is flattened by a bag of falling bricks and takes a ton of damage. If it succeeds, it instantly goes north and freezes to death. A massive projectile suddenly slams into the earth, leaving a extremely-poorly-drawn crater. A green glow emits from the center of the crater, and a surge of radiation blows across the field; much to the annoyance and dread of everyone as they are reminded of that time their entity was slowly executed by ten turns of radiation over in another time and another game. Because that sure is fun. A tune that sounds awfully like a MIDI, except with less meme value, drifts out of the crater. The entire battlefield gathers around the edge, trying to get a glance at what is within.. When suddenly, a massive mechanical mech, propelled by radiation and crappy memes, comes blasting out of the crater. It lands right in the Celestial Realm, and decides it could use a little cleanup. By that, we mean a ton of radiation, and MIDI memes. The Nuclear MIDI is quick to put the centerpiece of the Celestial Realm, the Sky Portal Palace of Fire And Edge, into one of those crappy and inferior sites that produce MIDI conversions. The result is flawed, but nevertheless holy. Absolutely divine music flows out of what was once the Sky Portal Palace of Fire And Edge. Next, it realizes that since the PS side is receiving "ally of the sky", the Celestial Realm must have a Embassy. As it turns out it does- The Embassy of The Skies. Each round, it's master diplomats negotiate with the PS side, forging the same alliance time and time again. The Nuclear MIDI walks up to it, and using it's mastery of music memes, replaces the broadcasting system they rely upon to commune with the battlefield and forge those alliances, to instead construct vaporwave songs from their communications. Tragically, they go insane after the second masterpiece. The Nuclear MIDI then explodes the place with a freaking laser beam anyway, killing the staff in the process. But whats this? One of the diplomats undergoes a rapid mutantion progress. The very essence of meme music and radiation blend within him. Someone then imprisons him in a aquarium for no real reason. He then MIDIutes into a FISH. a Fish Is Super Hungry, to be precise. It decides to consume everything, by shooting it with it's Meme Revolver. It promptly goes on a killing spree for no reason other than to CONSUME so he can MIDI. Needless to say, the Celestial Realm is thoroughly wrecked. Radiation is spreading at a stupidly fast rate, creating more FISHs. The Nuclear MIDI is slowly converting everything into vaporwave songs. Edgelords are dying of too much edge, portalmancers are telefragging themselves. You know, usual end of the world fare. A Correspondence-Covered Uranium Bomb That Sets The Town on Fire And Leaves No Survivors (A FUN bomb, where F is "a fire that burns down an entire town", U is "a uranium bomb that horribly irritates everything and destroys an entire city" and N is "No Survivors Whatsoever") lays further waste to the place. The FISHs then decide to POP. But first, they need to become a cheap copy of FISH. The FISHs all do a FISH DANCE, FISH fish FISH fish FISH fish in Fishton where the FISH fish. A massive black hole then rips it's self into existence, sucking up all the FISH, as well as the nuclear MIDI. This summons a cheap duplicate of FISH, who can pop. The entire celestial realm turns into a balloon, while FISH pulls out a massive needle that easily stretches beyond The Great Horizon, though fields of scarred stars, and all the way to Light's End. He then jumps on the blunt end of the needle. Needless to say, the Celestial Balloon does not survive. The cheap FISH duplicate, now in it's last dying seconds proceeds to attempt to POP Vaporwave into the very essence of the simulation, but alas, dies before he finishes. A bunch of toons with various melodic instraments just outside the battlefield watch as Minnie's Melodyland proceeds to flatten the Puppet Rat Dystopia, somehow harnessing the musical powers of the MIDI's. A bunch of healing musical notes appear on the AG side, which can probably be picked up for an action, and will continue to appear for as long as the Melodyland exists.  ??? - The Archer 10/10 A random archer dude snipes the Nightmarron mid-flight, and proceeds to rant about how edgy-ripoff OC-created scythes are illegal according to the Law as established by the judgements, scribbles a bunch of lines all over Marron and 1412's face that clearly aren't correspondence, and then proceeds to break Nightmarron over his knees multiple times, before going on yet another rant- something about silver?- and then runs off into the distance. XX - Judgement 39/100 (13/20 1+ from Jon 20/20 (Emerald_Mann) 6/20 (1412) 0/20 0/20) +1 marron +1 1412

I'm not certain whether you're trying to change the weather or the terrain, because most of your description was attacking the sky, but you ended it with attacking the terrain. Executive decision, it targeted the weather. Weather changed to Healing Melody.

...You snipe the scythe out of the air, sending it spiralling away and almost deal heavy durability damage to it but...

QUOTE (variant @ (time=1492022280))

Hey, tha-- Wait, what? Beta watches as the artifact he had just threatened someone over gets sniped by a random archer while it was in the middle of being thrown to him. But, since said archer seems fairly uninterested at him, he decides to take the opportunity the archer was giving him to try to get the Nightmarron again. For some reason, he begins to feel a sudden urge to start shouting about how it was his, but he puts this immature idea aside to think of better ones. And he comes up with one. So, he begins work on a cunning ploy. He starts to create a masterful duplicate of the Nightmarron, investing a great deal of effort and whatever amount of charge he would need to (so long as that number is less than or equal to 3, or else just all of Armed Neutrality, since I have a feeling that I might be needing the other charges soon) into replicating its every detail. And by that, I of course mean that he slaps some plastic food containers and water bottles together, throws in some scraps of metal and bullet casings to make sure it feels as heavy as it should and make it seem as though it could have been a (very poorly-made) gun-scythe at some point when broken, and paints it to look like the Nightmarron. Thus, the Nitmaroon is created. Then, while the archer is still ranting (man, can this guy ever rant) he sneaks up to where the real Nightmarron is, puts the Nitmaroon in its place, and absconds with the Nightmarron, shortly before the archer would have broken it. As he’s running, he passes by JOE. Oh, hey! Thanks for the portals, by the way! I would’ve gotten back to you sooner, but… I had stuff to do. Also, hope you don’t mind if I take this! Before JOE can respond to this, Beta thanks him for his consent and runs off, shouting about how he had more stuff to do. Also, since I had forgotten to order the Basic Slime before, it attacks one of the Apostles of Blood. +1 Joe/Ire 19/20 An Affront and a Front (+3 Redstone, Ire) (0-3)/15 Armed Neutrality

...Variant takes the scythe from the archer!

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1492025362))

o---Chages--- Puppet Plague: 20 / 20 (HOLDING...) Marron is Maybe Going to Instantly Kill a Guy: 5 / 5 (you asked for it) +1 to JOE +1 to Variant Current Summons Marron uses her innate powers to manipulate the threads in her boots, and untie her shoelaces. She then properly ties them without even bending down. She then ever-so-slowly strolls up to 1412. tc: Well. tc: This is why I hardly ever try diplomacy. tc: Give somebody a chance... A rather large sewing needle materialises out of the air, appearing in Marron's hand. Her fingers curl around it. tc: ...and they'll always do something unbearably stupid. tc: Good riddance. Marron promptly expends her 5-post charge, and shanks 1412 in the chest with her needle. She happily twists the needle around in his body, before ripping it out and stabbing him again. After seven more lightning-fast stabs to the chest, Marron twirls around and boots him in the face, sending him to the ground. Bits of thread then wrap around his arms and legs, and begin to violently constrict around his limbs, crushing them. tc: You didn't even TRY and survive this. tc: You could've fixed yourself up with that charge, but nooooo- you can't even sense the sheer malice from the girl that's about to gouge your eyes out! Marron then follows up on the eye-gouging, summoning two needles that streak down from above and violently enter his eyeballs. The two needles twist and contort in his skull, leaving a whole lot of blood everywhere. Along with the needles come spools of barbed thread, so that once the needles surge up and out of his eyesockets, the barbed thread rips out more flesh along with them. While there's probably enough attack to kill him by this point, Marron decides that there's absolutely no kill like overkill. Another thread appears and wraps around his neck, and begins to choke the life out of him. Marron then promptly kneels down on 1412, needle in hand. She maniacally laughs as she begins to rapidly stab 1412 all over his upper body, the needle perforating skin and drawing even more blood with every entry wound. Up and down go Marron's arms, never slowing down as she keeps on stabbing him, oblivious to the blood that's going everywhere. Even when he's expired, Marron doesn't stop stabbing. After what seems like an hour of violent stabbing, Marron finally tires, her malice faded. She dismounts the corpse, leaving the murder weapon deep inside the skull of her victim. The first thing she does after finishing him off is head to the nearest body of water, and take a bath, clothes and all. Blood is hard to wash out unless you do it right away, after all.

You brutally murder 1412. This doesn't recover your scythe, because Variant has it, but 1412 gets to spend next round respawning.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1492045796))

mastery: 24% energy: 4/46 rounds till [REDACTED]: 2 NULL.wrp 20/20 held! beta 10/11 +1 ire +1 varient +2 ire as Beta starts to talk to me, the world tints a crystal blue and he is forcefully slowed to a stop by an unknown force.[big][big][big] Beta.[/big][/big][/big] I wished to be friendly. but. I will not allow my action, in which much effort was invested, to be taken advantage of. if you get the nightmarron? your dead. if you don't? not dead, because you remain invulnerable, but thats not the point. you have garnered much ill will. as well, I do not believe you can drain charges that way. regardless. silence is not acceptance, nor permission. I do very much mind. first, lets shift perspective. JOE leaps forwards, moving through the blue mass with ease, and grabs betas head. he lifts it, beta still stunned by the mass, and throws him, Hard, through the air. the mass shatters, but I don't give him enough time to react before lobbing a runestone at him, then stabbing my heavily engraved blade into the ground. a glowing line goes from the blade and reaches the runestone, which flashes brightly, and 4 bands appear in the air, at the end of each of betas limbs, trapping him. I blink to him and raise several small rocks from the floor, sending them through betas mouth, and they land in his stomach. before a moment passes, I cast 'manifest' and the stones begin to expand, faster and faster, until It tears apart his skin. I then reform him with the power of blood, and slash him repeatedly with  a massive blade of blue light. after thoroughly harming him, and stunning him from pain, I use his blood to brew a personal slowness 255 pot that only affects him, and repeat with mining fatigue, length of both being 'one turn'. having blocked his action, I throw the nightmarron at marron with cyan strings of light, causing it to land infront of them. I have already engraved several runes into extra metal plates that are lightly taped to it in order to prevent people who are not [PS] from interacting with it. [incomplete] [Action summery- stop variant/beta, specificaly from obtaining the nightmarron- the part where they stop it from being destroyed or something is fine. give marron the nightmarron if they don't have it already. if beta/varients attempt to pour charges into the action is a thing that can be done, up to the charges in beta(10 so far) is used on this. if I counter varient but fail to obtain the nightmarron or give it to marron, use beta(10) to ensure it succeeds. extra charge after all is said and done and any potential counters occur will be used to provide myself with increased MHP.] [if possible and cannot give marron the Nmarron, take myself.] [also, if possible, change the portals to protect marron or myself]

You don't kill Variant, but you DO disarm him, quite easily thanks to the "repurcussions". ((Or maybe it's just because I like seeing the scythe get tossed around a lot)) Your attempts to make it unstealable fail though. That's kind of overpowered for a one-off action, and the Nightmarron is already at max upgrade threshold besides.

QUOTE (Toast @ (time=1492117747))

19 8/19. 20 10/20. (+3 from battlefury, +1 from Jon) +1 to Battlefury. +1 to Jon. An non-Pain and Suffering-timeline version of Nomad appears. He begins setting up a table, placing a massive hexagon-covered board and some snacks on said table. He sits down, and invites the Vengeful Night to do the same. He sits too. Of course he does. This is a DTG attack. First of all, Card Wars is SUPER complicated. When you start, all you have to do is floop your land cards, but then you gotta throw down some creatures, and that's where the strat magic happens. You start with 5 cards but at the end of your turn you discard a card and draw a new one... Nomad's voice slowly blends in with the sound of battle around him, and VN falls asleep. A few hours later, he awakens to realise that Nomad is still explaining the rules. ...and that's the eighth draw condition. You can't get drawsier than that! Now that you know the rules, how about some... incentive! Nomad takes a jar of HAM CHUNKS, opens it, then places the contents in a massive mug. He then pours in a cup of lemonade, demon heart extract (diluted), raw chicken, jellyfish jam, whatever THIS stuff is, the current contents of my oven, beetle butter, the current contents of my dishwasher, store-brand orange juice that had been left out for too long and developed a black film across the top, as well as a Bottle of Black Wings Absinthe for good measure. On that mug, he writes the word 'DWEEB' in sharp, unfriendly letters. He then pours another mug. In this he pours Darkdrop Coffee, since apparently that's fairly okay for a Neathly drink. On this mug he writes the words 'COOL GUY' in large, friendly letters. So... the dude who wins gets to drink from the Cool Guy cup and the loser has to drink from the Dweeb cup. Since the Vengeful Night is the target of this attack, he doesn't really have the option to decline. I'm not going to bother with giving a proper reason that Vengeful Night accepts, since the very nature of DTG attacks means that he has no choice in the matter. Now, continuing. Vengeful Night accepts this game, and begins playing. Nomad starts by flooping his land cards, turning them sideways. In order from left to right the following appear: an unnamed crystal landscape, a Sandy Lands landscape, then back to crystals, then back to sand. He picks up his starting hand, and smiles confidently, not even trying to make a pokerface. The Vengeful Night floops his own lands, causing a set of four Useless Swamps to appear. Perfect. I'll start. First off I'll summon Dullahan, Envoy of the Fourth Realm. Next I'll play Portal to the Fourth Realm, giving Dullahan two attacks AND magic immunity! A massive, headless centaur made entirely of lead leaps out of the lane, followed by a portal so massive that it nearly spills into the next two lanes. I can't attack until you chuck down some minions, so now it's your turn. Vengeful Night stares at his hand, and slowly places down Rune Goblin Swamp Eater. The Rune Goblin appears to be some shivering goblin covered in robes, which are in turn covered in runes. The Swamp Eater appears to be a massive floating dragonfly worm thing with a probiscis. It pauses for a moment to do it's entry animation, then starts using it's probiscis to suck up the Useless Swamp it was floating over. It then leaves the battlefield, leaving VN with only 3 lanes to cast minions on. HAHAHA! You're nuts, you know that! Why would you play Swamp Eater on a Useless Swamp when your opponent doesn't have any Ethereal Swampflies!? At least Rune Goblin is decent. Anyway, I guess its my turn now. I'll summon Timewalker, and use my remaining energy to have him attack your Rune Goblin. His special ability lets me draw a card whenever he attacks an entity that's not on the same land type as him. Nomad draws a card and-- HAHAHA! This is perfect. Since I have both Timekeeper and a building card, this new card will give me two extra turns! I PLAY TIME STOP- Time does as Nomad commands it, and freezes in place. It doesn't appear to be resuming any time soon. Vengeful Night probably has some sort mix of anger, confusion and fear painted over his face. I decide to take a picture of it, for posterity. 'Who am I?' you might ask. 'None of your business,' I might answer. 'Why can't you move?' you might also ask. 'Stop asking questions,' I might also answer. Nomad, Vengeful Night and the rest of the field don't appear to be going anywhere anytime soon, so I'll just take the Nightmarron and be off. I do so, prying it out of the hands of whoever might have it right now, and placing it into my own. What? You thought this was an attack on Vengeful Night? I can see why you would think that, but this is no attack. This isn't even real Card Wars. This is simply the greatest misdirection play of all time.

In the greatest misdirection ploy of all time, you SMASH and stop time, making off with the Nightmarron.

Toast is the victor of this round of PASS THE NIGHTMARRON.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1492132431))

9/20 Azurewrath (+1 from Emerald) 9/20 Kewl Sord (+1 from Emerald) +1 Emerald, +1 Toast SparkedTheorem grabs a M16 and decides to shoot the Worshipper.

10000 damage for that awesome gif.

Originally posted on 2017-04-14 16:12:00

Chloe rushes forwards with a special super-duper bandage punch, healing the rat seraph for 6000 health. Crazy Zilliness smashes into the Worshipper for 6000 damage, leaving it at critical health, but not quite killing it. Suddenly, the Reaper rushes by in its loping gait and swings its scythe around. DECAPITATED. The Living Virus surges upwards, almost in a spiral, and smashes forward into the undamaged swarm of puppet rats, completely murdering it all in one go. The Zomboss Replacement Mech, having been healed up somewhat, opens fire on the heavy duty work mechs, dealing 3000 damage to all of them.

The huntmobile follows suit and charges forwards, guns blazing at the security bots. Two of the security bots dive out of the way, the last one isn't so lucky and is smashed to pieces when the Huntmobile runs it over. The Puppet Ratster and Rat Seraph perform another awesome combo attack involving puppets and searing holy light but the light is so bright everyone has to look away and misses it. 11000 damage is dealt to the Vengeful Night. The Screaming Man screams his head off and deals 2000 damage to everything that's not AS, killing the last of the wounded puppet rat swarm.

The Basic slime uses a basic attack on one of the apostles of blood, dealing 13,500 damage in the most generic and basic way possible. The Apostle of Blood retaliates, bringing down its scythe in a wide arc that deals 9000 damage to the Basic Slime. Two more of them charge after the Living Virus, slicing it to pieces even through its armor. The Living Virus almost dodges... and then gets shredded. Living Virus killed. The last Apostle of Blood stalks over to where one of the security bots has taken up cover. With a massive slice, both the rock and the security bot have been cleaved in two.

Vengeful Night shrieks again, and out of the ground rises a pillar of blood, which solidifies and turns into another Apostle of Blood. It then flaps its wings, and a blast of light scatters outwards, dealing 4000 damage to the last security bot and all the heavy duty work mechs, then 5000 damage to the Backup Zomboss Mech, Huntmobile, Reaper and Rat Seraph.

The puppet rats are all dead, yet again. This leaves only the Simumodder's scattered bot summons, which decide to take out their frustration on the AS side of the field, dealing 10000 damage to the Zomboss Replacement Mech and Huntmobile. Some of the bullets, rocks and rockets go wild, dealing 6000 damage to the Reaper. The Simumodder is slightly ticked at having all of his forces beaten up so thoroughly when there's a hostile boss on the field to deal with, so he decides to point out what people should be doing by leading through example. He jumps up at the Vengeful Night, grabs onto its head, then headbutts it as hard as he can, sending Vengeful Night reeling backwards. 50000 damage!

+2 to JOE and IRe from the simumodder

Everything ticks up.

Itinerary:
Destroy the Simumodder!
Destroy the Vengeful Night!

Entity Advantage: [AS]

Weather: Healing Melody (Spawns 1 healing note which can be picked up for an action by an AS entity.)
Terrain: Puppet Rat Dystopia (Summons 1 PS "Swarm of Puppet Rats" every round.)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 90/100. Cool and New Portal Armor [A]. Golden Sun [A].
Swarm of Puppet Rats [PS - Marron] Hp: 10,000/10,000.
Heavy Duty Work Mechs x3: [PS] 37,000/50,000 HP. Ally of the Sky 2
Heavy Duty Work Mechs: [PS] 13,000/50,000 HP. Ally of the Sky 2
Security Bots: [PS] 5,000/20,000 HP Ally of the Sky 2
JOEbob [PS - Player] Hp: 14/20. Astral Energy: 23%. Energy Stored: 26/46. Solar Adrenaline: 3/5.

Vengeful Night [H][ACT BOSS]: Hp: 357,000/500,000. Convert: 3/3. Dupliclone: 3/3. Bloody Rapture: 3/7 15/50 Blood.
Apostle of Blood [H]: Hp: 30,000/30,000
Apostle of Blood x3 [H]: Hp: 26,000/30,000
Apostle of Blood [H]: Hp: 12,500/30,000

Basic Slime [N - Variant]: HP: 12,000/25,000. pH: 13. Ion Cannon: 0/4.

Zomboss Replacement Mech [AS - 1412] - 1,000/80,000 HP.
Huntmobile [AS - Emerald] - 15,000/30,000 HP. Roadkill: 3/3
The Reaper [AS - Bfury] 14,000/25,000 HP. 20% dodge
Rat Seraph [AS - 1412] Hp: 55,000/70,000. 30,000/30,000 Ratribution.
Okayish_Chloe [AS - Redstone] Hp: 25,000/25,000
Screaming Man [AS - Jondanger] Hp: 40,000/40,000
Crazy_Zilliness [AS - Redstone] Hp: 37,000/45,000. 6/40 Souls.
Puppetratster [AS - 1412] Hp: 70,000/70,000. 3/4 Ratness.
1412 [AS - Player] Hp: DED/20.
SparkedTheorem [AS - Player] Hp: 17/20. Firebrand [A] Durability: 60%
Splodimus [AS - Player] Hp: 18/20. 1 AC, 10% accuracy. Nuclear Heaven [A] 90% durability.
Toast [AS - Player] Hp: 20/20. Nightmarron [A] 2/4 Petal Dance. 3/10 Endless Night. 



Originally posted on 2017-04-14 16:12:00

Judgement: Even more 20/20
Something else: 1/20

I inject some hydrogen peroxide into the Vengeful Night. Note that this is not an attack on the Vengeful Night, but rather on the Vengeful Night's blood supply, because hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood
+2 Battlefury

Originally posted on 2017-04-14 16:15:00

Welp. This just happened.
Trickle cracks his knuckles.
It's time for the Vengeful God to... uh...

Trickle: Oh, crap, uh...

Hm... Okay... Puns...

Trickle: Maybe we should just kick his [REDACTED]?

Yeah. Sure. Why not.
Time to kick Vengie's (yes, I'm calling him that) butt, with your favorite duo of @&&)(0|3Z.
Yes, I worked on this for over a week.
Time to present my true masterpiece...





Okay...? Uh...

>VENGIE: It's fine. You're supposed to be confused.

...Alright then.

>VENGIE: Observe computer.

Looking at the old computer, your eyes quickly notice a flashy yellow program, PesterChum. There seem to be multiple conversations with people called gardenGnostic, turntechGodhead and tentacleTherapist, all calling you “John”, “GT” or more recently, “EB”. Is this the very John from that story?

>VENGIE: Indeed it is. Change tag and color!

Tag and… huh? Your tag seems to be ectoBiologist, accompanied by a sky blue color. You don't want to impersonate this poor kid, so you hastily change your tag to anonymousVengeance and make your color something resembling that of salmon.

>VENGIE: Check around the house.

The house appears to be empty… but something peculiar catches your eye. It appears to have about one hundred storeys, each a clone of the last! It also doesn't appear to be on any “normal” planet, this one is blue and has… salamanders on it? Is this one of the Lands you've been talking about?

>VENGIE: Exactly! Captchalogue computer.

Captch- Woah! Did you just consume that computer?!

>VENGIE: No, silly, you allocated it to your modus.

…?

>VENGIE: Bluh… you put it in your inventory.

Oh! But, how do you retrieve it?

>VENGIE: Your modus appears to be consumption, which is simply what it sounds like.

How is that practical in any way?

>VENGIE: You're a hostile entity in a DTG game put into Homestuck. Why would anything make sense.

-.-

>VENGIE: Explore LOWAS.

Roaming around the Land of Wind and Shade, you notice something in your stomach light up! You quickly vomit it and it looks like someone messaged you on PesterChum!

>VENGIE: Ew… check it out.

It appears to be from somebody called eldritchAbomination, typing with a grotesque chartreuse color.

EA: hey [REDACTED]er
EA: hey
EA: boi
EA: air of breathe
EA: *hair

>VENGIE: Respond

You decide to respond and try to clear up any misunderstandings.

AV: Uh… hello?
EA: u aint boi of broth
AV: “Boi of broth”?
EA: jhon ebgret
EA: *john
AV: Oh, that kid? I have no idea how he even looks like.
AV: Who the hell even *are* you?
EA: the queschion is who r U
AV: Vengeful Night, at your service.
EA: i habent even herd of u b4
AV: Alright…?
EA: the name,s kathooloo
AV: Kathooloo?
EA: ye
AV: Don't you mean Cthulhu?
EA: that too

You are very perplexed by this. Is this some sort of hoax? A scam? Or is Cthulhu actually messaging you right now?!

>VENGIE: Ask what he wants.

AV: Why do you need to find the “boi”?
EA: he mest with the horror terrors
EA: he mest wth ME
AV: I still have no idea what you're saying.
EA: lissen
EA: bring me the boi
EA: i will re-pay u
AV: How exactly will you “re-pay” me?
EA: cool powers
EA: com on im kathuloo
EA: he has blapck hair
EA: he weres pajamas
EA: blue pajamas
EA: and windy powors

This is starting to get really weird.

>VENGIE: Accept. You have nothing else to do.

AV: Alright, alright.
EA: yes!!! thank u!!!’!!!!!
EA: u will’nt re-gret it
EA: ;3
AV: …

That sure was something.[/spoiler]



[/spoiler]

CONTINUED IN POST TWO. THIS IS ONE BIG ATTACK AND IS TOO BIG TO FIT IN A POST. SORRY.

Originally posted on 2017-04-14 17:18:00

Judgement: Even more 20/20
Something or another: 2/20

I inject a Virus into the Vengeful Night. Not a living virus, just a virus
+2 Battlefury

Originally posted on 2017-04-14 17:49:00

I smash the Vengeful Night's face in with a bat. I then smash his face in with a tool used to hit baseballs.

last charge until hell: 6/15 (+1 from Toast)

+1 to Toast, +1 to bfury.

Originally posted on 2017-04-14 17:50:00