13/20 Vengeful God
labyrinth of madness 4/20+1 from ire
+2 to Ire
I grab silver wosname and hand it to simumodder IF Ire failed to grab it.
[marron, toast is still alive, just in another dimension. they'll probably come back at some point. it might take a while though.]
this is not literal talking and more of sending an idea.
I start healing ette, pouring green light into her, and start stitching up her arm carefully, before realising I'm not that good, so I get old cheese lady to come sew up ette. while she does so, I go on a quest to find cheese to pay her with.
first I start milking the sheep
sheep make milk right?
right?
so I put the milk in a large bucket and start stirring it with telekinesis, and while I do so, I also start going on a quest to get more cheese. for every bit of cheese I get, the old cheese person will heal her more.
so I go on a quest and find the legendary Giant cheese. I poke the cheese and it drops one cheese. I keep going until I get 10, and buy a cheese whacker.
I totaly did that great yep.
I then keep writing up this attack while it makes me cheese. I run off to the dungeon where the god of cheese is imprisoned and fight my way through a hoard of golems, before finally getting to the cage, and destroying a giant cookie that’s keeping him trapped. the god of cheese rewards me with a cheese prism, which converts light into cheese!
I then have to go shut down an alchemy lab-it has been shown to convert cheese into useless silver. afterwards, I buy a ton more prisms and upgrade all of them, as well as my own aunt, since aunts get stronger the more prisms I have and prisms get stronger the more aunts I have. after all that, I convert 90% of my cheese into heavenly cheese and sell it all to the old cheese lady, and since she's never seen heavenly cheese before, she gives it the value of infinity -1. after she stitches Ette for a few hundred years, I decide to threaten her to sacrifice her life force. she agrees, and I heal ette a whole bunch

Originally posted on 2017-02-03 11:58:00

cheese clicker*

/NULL

Originally posted on 2017-02-03 12:46:00

Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter
Secondary weapon: Corpse Piercer
Tertiary weapon: Corpse Blaster
Armor: NA

FVS blankly stares at her latest skill. She seems confused. Thus, she decides to test Fresh Meat out on the weakest Fire Demon, curious to check just what that results in. If it's another equipment generating attack, she's aware she'll have to replace one of her guns... Or wear armor.

Egg on your face: 3/10
+2 to Urus

Originally posted on 2017-02-03 15:59:00

/null

Since a whole lot of people haven't posted yet, and I don't really feel like updating today, I'm enacting the "whenever I feel like it" claus. Update will be tomorrow or Monday. One of the two.

Originally posted on 2017-02-03 16:37:00

12/20 Le Dudes

+2 Toast

boi

sparkysfaint turns to Joe and brings out a very crappy blocky sword. He rushes at Joe and brings down the sword, turning the blocky Stick into a deadly greatsword with triangles for the blade. sparkysfaint then backflips, kicking Joe on the way. He stomps his foot on the ground, and four plastic pillars come out of the ground surrounding Joe. They set on fire, and become columns of lava. They spin around a bit, splashing Joe a bit, before descending on him/her/it/tem and burning him/her/it/tem horribly. Joe promptly becomes triggered at being called an unspecified gun. In fact, he's so triggered he accidentally triggers one of sparkysfaint's gun models which is conveniently placed on top of him. The gun sprays a volley of 300 bullets then disappears.

Next, sparkysfaint raises his hand. Blocks rise from the ground, colliding with Joe and knocking him around. sparkysfaint puts his hand down to the middle and swipes left. Blocks materialize to the right of Joe and smash into him from the left. sparkysfaint puts his hand down and then up, erecting a wall against the direction Joe is flying off. He outstretches his arm to the right, creating spikes on the wall. The ROBLOXian flings his arm up once again, forcing a piece of what looks like sparkly paper out of Joe. Someone goes up to read it and finds out that it’s a list of powers. Plastic appears around Joe’s limbs, which he who has been encrusted with plastic attempts to remove with his powers, but realizes that he lost his powers. The plastic turns into heavy gold, which is so heavy it makes Joe smash right through the spike wall, having the spikes impale him, stop in his tracks, and fall so hard that he falls right down to the void.

sparkysfaint then decides to go in for the finishing blow. After waiting for 2 seconds for Joe to take damage from the void, sparkysfaint teleports Joe back to the battlefield and removes the gold coverings from Joe via hammer. He steps on Joe’s face before pulling out a different claw hammer. He brings it down upon his iris, which explodes and unexists. The rest of the eye comes next. Then the limbs. Finally, sparkysfaint brings down the hammer upon his torso, which, according to ROBLOX logic, is the most vital part of the anatomy, due to being the only thing keeping the rest of your parts from being disconnected. Thus, Joe is left as a head, rolling on the floor, which sparkysfaint deletes as well.


Originally posted on 2017-02-03 20:00:00

I replace the Angry Beast's brain with a nesting dog, which promptly converts it's head into a nest.
7/10 2+ from roast
3/10
2+ toaster

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 00:37:00

20 15/20. (+4 from Battlefury and +2 from Redstone)
15 3/15.

+1 to Battlefury, +1 to Redstone

Time Travel Trouble on the Seamstress if you will, please.

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 00:37:00

Auth is similarly unsettled by the Seamstress.

This thing unnerves you as well? Good to know I wasn't the only one.

Auth flicks his wrist, a small pen knife entering his hand.

I'll take you up on your offer of slaying this... monstrosity.

Auth hurls the knife at the Seamstress' head. It lands right between its eyes.

Dead on the money. Now to put you into a similar state of cessation.

A spectre appears in front of the Seamstress, drawing the Pen-knife from it before it can react. It slams the knife it collected into its throat, before Auth phases into it, and kicks the Seamstress into the Air, launching it high.

Wait for it...

It comes down into range, and Auth smirks.

Perfect.

Auth jams the knife back into the Seamstress' throat, throws her to the floor, and Auth stomps on its head. He wants this to be decisive. He pulls the knife back out, wipes it on his sleeve, regardless of whether anything got on it, then slides it back up his sleeve.

Alas. I can not do much for now.

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 00:51:00

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1485963525))

12/20 Vengeful God Foundation of the suffering 20/20 +1 from simmumodder DONE new charge: labyrinth of madness 2/20+1 from simumodder +2 to Ire Oh, look, the foundation is done! foundation of suffering cannot attack or body block [REDACTED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [OH YOUR GOD WHY] [THE PAIN] [=)] hmmm, so my attempt to change the weather failed... I guess I'll try again. at least terrain worked. building on the "wonderful sanctuary/Not so evil" theme I've started, I start gathering liquid good-happyness from the flowers in this sanctuary, and put it all in a bottle. I then drink the bottle! the world seems brighter and I dance around, feeding all the animals- ahem excuse me, anyway I walk over to the walls of the sharknado and scold it for making the sharks attack people, followed by a blue-green glow spreading from the shark I'm closest to and slowly covering the entire tornado, and while its still doing so I turn around and float to the middle of the field, touching down lightly and building an altar out of holy stone, kneel on the alter, and right as the glow covers the entire tornado I rise up and wings of cyan light spread from my back, glowing, with a pillar light surrounding me, small wisps and orbs of energy that I scattered around earlier so this will look better floating upwards and circling the beam, and the tornado glows brighter, the pillar thickens, and theres a crack, its too bright- all is quite. the tornado is gone. I am standing calmly with the wings spread wide and look at the wonderful day. there is much to do. I look up, and raise my left hand, an orb of bright yellow light within. beams of light stream outwards, visible only due to a thin mist, and stop almost 600 meters away, pointing north, south, east, and west, respectively. the light seems to pool as if a liquid on a flat surface, spreading through the sky and forming a golden dome, with only small cracks, and soon, none at all. The dome isn't solid, of course. Its only made of light. But I keep sending in more, and the dome thickens, covering everything, bit by bit. the dome covers the walls of the center building. It continues onwards toward the altar. And covers it. There is another flash of light. A calm, happy tune is audible. there are fluffy gold-white clouds in the sky, and the sun is bright, but not painfully so. its so nice, and relaxing... almost... as.. if... you should... take... a... nap.... I draw some crackling black energy from another dimension, and the light dims around me, the music becoming inaudible, and I build a circle in the sky with a stick made of that strange material. the sides suck light out of the air, and when I finish the circle, it encompasses the entire [PS] side, which now seems to be in a perpetual dusk. I close my eyes and the crackling energy scatters out,  filling the air in this circle. outside, a good many beings fight sleep, and within, everyone stands around, perfectly conscious. [INTENTION SUMMERY: make the weather apply some sort of drowsiness status effect to non-[PS] entitys] [suggested name: no ideas as of now.]

Foundation of Suffering summoned, our first covert stats summon!
Going completely unmolested, you set the weather to Naptime, which will set all non-PS entities to having Drowsy for 2 rounds as long as its in effect.
New status effect: Drowsiness, reduces dodge chance and ignorance by 10%.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1485964270))

placeheld

#angryfarmerwipeshiseye

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1485971676))

o---Charges--- Red Like Roses: 3 / 20 The Cat Beast: 5 / 20 (+4, JOE, Simu) +1 to JOE +1 to the Author Current Summons Marron watches as the Simumodder violently murders Ghost Toast. tc: ... tc: Sim. Simu. Godmodder. Whatever name you go by. tc: WHAT THE gorilla!? tc: SHE WAS MY FRIEND, YOU gorilla! She performs a 0-damage slap upon the Simumodder. And then another. And another. She keeps slapping until she manages to vent most of her rage, eventually calming down and regaining rational though. Still somewhat miffed, Marron activates Petal Dance, allowing her to act twice in this one post! That'll almost certainly be dangerous... tc: Alright! Time to put this thing to its full potential! But then she has her doubts. After all, the Nightmarron is kinda dangerous in the hands of an inexperienced user... tc: I-It'll be fine, right? The worst that'll happen is that it'll cut off my arm. Again. tc: Deep breath... tc: I-I can do this! >ACTION 1 Marron dismounts the Winged Beast and readies the Nightmarron, the weapon switiching into a right and proper scythe. She points it backwards, and pulls the trigger on the device. A bullet rips out of the back of the scythe, and Marron goes flying forward. At a rather high velocity. She lets out a little scream; apparently, it's a little too fast for her. In a panic, she points the weapon to the side slightly, and fires another round. This sends her sailing towards 1412! Another panicked round sends her into a deadly spin! The spinning puppeteer's blade manages to perfectly sever her target's head, sending it spiralling to the floor in a burst of blood! Marron, after taking a violent (but somehow non-HP damaging) spill on the ground, brushes herself off, and loots the Silver Wossname from his (hopefully) dead body. She then reloads the Nightmarron, takes another deep breath, and lets a shot loose in the opposite direction of the Flaming Zombie! >ACTION 2 Marron spirals through the air at yet again, another hair-raising speed. As she flies, she just manages to point the Nightmarron in front of her in time, and swaps it into its Spear Form again! This results in her flying directly into the Flaming Zombie, impaling it violently! However, her velocity causes her to keep flying forward, eventually slamming the zombie, who was stuck on the tip of the spear into a tree. She rips her spear out of the Flaming Zombie (and the tree), and then unloads the Nightmarron into the Flaming Zombie's skull. Several rounds and a large hole in the zombie's head later, Marron decides to attempt an x2 DECAPITATION COMBO, switching the Nightmarron back to Scythe mode, and going for the neck of the Flaming Zombie. Marron takes a moment to catch her breath, calls back down her ride, and takes to the skies. Somewhat tired now, she dozes off on the back of her mechanical mount. Flying around and murdering things is exhausting work. Ette will use Stitch Together on the Seamstress! The Winged Beast will use To The Skies on the Enraged Shepard! The Seamstress will use Violent Stitch on the Flaming Zombie! If the Flaming Zombie is dead, it'll use Strobe Doll on the Enraged Shepard!

The Simumodder takes the slaps, and sighs. "Did you miss the part about this basically being a VR game?"
Petal Dance expended!
You brutally eviscerate 1412 and take his artifact for yourself!
You also fly straight into the zombie and through the combined power of your two spoils, completely obliterate the flame zombie.
Your entities will do as you say.
+7000 XP

QUOTE (Toast @ (time=1485979751))

20 8/20. 15 2/15. +2 to Battlefury "Well, that was inconvenient," is all she manages before she winks out of existence. She cannot act. Her 'Gone' quality is too high for that. As shown in her passives, that iteration of her will not be returning. ...

#verygladthatcowscantfly
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1485979851))

I spawn a colony 4/10 2/10 2+ toaster

You create a colony!
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1485990922))

11/20 Le Dudes +2 Bfury sparkysfaint flies up to the winged beast and turns the wings into titanium. The Winged Beast falls down and rips its abdominal skin.

4000 damage is dealt to the winged beast through liberal application of gravity.
+6000 XP

QUOTE (Emerald_Mann @ (time=1485993314))

I meant to put more, then failed. Hard Coded on JOEBob for some good old damage. Specifically, I code that he was the target of every single attack he has made, replacing his target. Granted, this isn't very effective without a stable time machine (which would seriously [REDACTED] with continuity), but, you know, still works Malware Blade: 6/10 Virus 2.0: 3/20 I help Ire the maximum amount (+2, I believe), with the condition that he use it on Red Like Roses

Combat Special: Hard-Coded (Basic)
Some people say you can pick your own destiny, but is that really the truth? Others would say that it's all hard-coded into us what we will do. Well, what would happen if you could hack into the coding? Here is the perfect chance to screw around with destiny. You decide to test your hypothesis by checking the timeline of your enemy, and note several points on their timeline. Taking out your laptop you quickly hack into that and alter a few points. Then wait patiently. A few moments later a large rock falls screaming from the sky and smashes into them. Destiny in action, fellas.
1 damage to JOEbob
+2500 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1485994014))

its +2 /NULL

You're so helpful. Er, wait you actually are being helpful. EXCEPT YOU NULLPOSTED INSTEAD OF JUST MERGING IT INTO YOUR SECOND EPOM E%POMJETPEERGHETRINEHTGOINHTGOIETRGIONTGEROIGBTRMIETRGMIBETIOTRBtrb
{PIONOPLAYER.EXE HAS STOPPED RESPONDING}

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1486020625))

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1482272280)) Player Vulnerability: Players are, in fact, attackable, just only under specific circumstances. You can initiate PvP, the loser of which dies, certain enemy abilities will inflict vulnerability, using an artifact or upgrading yourself will render you vulnerable, and if your faction is doing badly enough entity-wise you will be directly targetable. Death is simple, you lose your standard action for one round, during which you have to spend any posts you make "respawning". Charges remain unaffected by death, aren't I nice? Default player health is 10, with the special measure "Survivor", which causes anyone with that tag to take damage in 1s, and be particularly hard to hit at all. Basically think of it like trying to attack the Simumodder only not quite as bad. As a note, while vulnerable, body blocking STILL counts as an action because really, dying isn't more than a slap on the wrist and being able to just tank everything would make your entities effectively invincible. I was going to post an in-depth last-ditch attack to hopefully do something awesome before I died before I noticed this in the rules... I haven't been particularly hard to hit, and I know I've taken more than one damage in a turn twice before. So, what's the deal with the survivor tag? It didn't say any circumstances in which it wouldn't be applied, therefore I am forced to assume that all players should have had it since the beginning. And in that case, me and the other AS players should all have at least two more health than we do now, accounting for the Simumodder's "hit all vulnerable players for three damage" attack, and his other "hit all players for 2 damage" attack. Granted it's possible that still works anyway due to simumodder powers, in which point I argue that I took two damage from players on two separate occasions. And of course if the AS side gets compensated for this, then I expect the PS side to as well. It's only fair, and there's only one ps player out right now anyway so it's still a net gain for the AS side. Oh yeah and Zomboss training facility 15/20

Oh, I forgot to change it, didn't I?

Well, here's how it's actually been working: Player health has an "equivalent" value, damage dealt to players rounds to the nearest equivalent value. For basically everyone the equivalent value is 3000, although a small handful of particularly powerful upgrades (you'd need a LOT of charge to get to even 4000) can be undergone.
Anyways, no recompense will be paid, you failed to defend yourself, and are thusly dead. Oh and the rules get fixed to reflect what they should be saying.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Cyanogynist @ (time=1486029075))

SIMUMODDER YOU FRICCIN' MORON YOU JUST SANK PUPPETOAST RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ---- IN A BURST OF SHIP-SINKING-INDUCED RAGE, I USE SHIPPING GRID: ADVANCED ON THE DAMAGED FIRE DEMON. AIRHORN SOLUTIONS JUST SITS THERE. [==]/\Charges/\[==] Adam Ruins Everything: 4/20 Blaze, Blizz, Blitz, and Bazaltz It: 4/20

Combat Special: Shipping Grid (Advanced)
The only thing more painful than your first introductory days to shipping is when your first ship gets sunk. It's hard to show this as many people aren't nearly as into shipping as you are, but you will try your hardest. To demonstrate, you decide to take your pupil on a nice, relaxing cruise. On this cruise, they meet the most beautiful person of compatible gender they have ever met. The romance blossoms quickly and soon they are having romantic candlelit dinners. Meanwhile, on the rocky shores from further away, you load your RPG. And then fire. In the fire and the wreckage of the sinking ship, they watch their sweetheart slip away under the waves. There is a small tinkling sound as their heart breaks.
4000 damage to the fire demon!
+6000 XP

QUOTE (Urus @ (time=1486074693))

Sheriff Clint Cactus the White Sphere has an idea. He puts on a Fire Demon costume, and then angers the fluffy animals. He removes the costume just as the animals stampede toward the real fire demons. Melon 4/5 IT'S SPHERICAL 3/10 (+2 from engie) +2 to engie

Your attack is, somewhat paradoxically, blocked by the fluffy animals!
+2000 XP

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1486079997))

Assuming I'm somehow still alive, I pull out... a flaregun. "You want this wossname? Feh. You're not worthy. Ever heard of a Kingdom called Loathing? Bizarre place. Magic there is almost entirely pasta- and sauce-based. The currency is meat. Knowing you have a torso-much less what shirts are- is considered an unusual and rare skill. Anyway, that's where I got the Wossname. I got it for fighting in a war. War between hippies and frat boys, admittedly, but still war. War so violent it pushed out the resident pirate population, sending them into hiding in parts unknown. But I didn't just fight in the war. You know what else I did? I tricked both sides into destroying each other. Between chasing around ducks to garner supplies for the frat boys and fighting lobsterfrogmen for the hippies, both sides grew powerful enough to tear the other apart. Almost. Only two remained after the dust settled: The Man (you know, as in "The Man's keeping us down") and the Big Wisniewski (some bowler guy who was apparently hippy king). And then I called in the pirates for the finishing blow. They were pretty happy about that. In the end they got their turf back and got to bomb the ones who chased them out back to the stone age. Literally. Now they owe me a favor. And no the favor wasn't the Wossname, I got that from the Council. Anyway, time for me to cash it in." I then fire the flaregun into the air.  After a moment's pause, a merciless barrage of explosives falls from the sky, detonating on impact and engulfing the PS team in a fiery maelstrom of pyrotechnic annihilation. Zomboss training facility 16/20

Unfortunately, you're still dead.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1486123125))

13/20 Vengeful God labyrinth of madness 4/20+1 from ire +2 to Ire I grab silver wosname and hand it to simumodder IF Ire failed to grab it. [marron, toast is still alive, just in another dimension. they'll probably come back at some point. it might take a while though.] this is not literal talking and more of sending an idea. I start healing ette, pouring green light into her, and start stitching up her arm carefully, before realising I'm not that good, so I get old cheese lady to come sew up ette. while she does so, I go on a quest to find cheese to pay her with. first I start milking the sheep sheep make milk right? right? so I put the milk in a large bucket and start stirring it with telekinesis, and while I do so, I also start going on a quest to get more cheese. for every bit of cheese I get, the old cheese person will heal her more. so I go on a quest and find the legendary Giant cheese. I poke the cheese and it drops one cheese. I keep going until I get 10, and buy a cheese whacker. I totaly did that great yep. I then keep writing up this attack while it makes me cheese. I run off to the dungeon where the god of cheese is imprisoned and fight my way through a hoard of golems, before finally getting to the cage, and destroying a giant cookie that’s keeping him trapped. the god of cheese rewards me with a cheese prism, which converts light into cheese! I then have to go shut down an alchemy lab-it has been shown to convert cheese into useless silver. afterwards, I buy a ton more prisms and upgrade all of them, as well as my own aunt, since aunts get stronger the more prisms I have and prisms get stronger the more aunts I have. after all that, I convert 90% of my cheese into heavenly cheese and sell it all to the old cheese lady, and since she's never seen heavenly cheese before, she gives it the value of infinity -1. after she stitches Ette for a few hundred years, I decide to threaten her to sacrifice her life force. she agrees, and I heal ette a whole bunch

What a crumby edit.
6000 health restored to Ette regardless!
+8000 XP

QUOTE (Cyanogynist @ (time=1486125329))

did joebob just play cookie clicker ---- Airhorn Solutions airblasts the damaged Angry Shark back into the Sharknado. [==]/\Charges/\[==] Adam Ruins Everything: 5/20 Blaze, Blizz, Blitz, and Bazaltz It: 5/20

The angry sharks all flip into the air and land on their backs, taking 1000 damage each.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1486125962))

cheese clicker* /NULL

This accomplished literally nothing.

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1486137599))

Primary weapon: X-Corpse Shooter Secondary weapon: Corpse Piercer Tertiary weapon: Corpse Blaster Armor: NA FVS blankly stares at her latest skill. She seems confused. Thus, she decides to test Fresh Meat out on the weakest Fire Demon, curious to check just what that results in. If it's another equipment generating attack, she's aware she'll have to replace one of her guns... Or wear armor. Egg on your face: 3/10 +2 to Urus

Combat Special: Fresh Meat (Basic)
The Fairview Survivor sits and waits. At first it seems like nothing is happening... and then they hear the moans. They immediately turn stark white and run in the other direction. Their enemy looks at them curiously, then turn around, wondering what's coming... only to let out the girliest scream you've ever heard when they see the massive swarm of zombies that has somehow snuck up on them because Walking Dead Logic. They turn to run, but pathetically trip over a tiny little twig and are then torn apart by zombies. Think how much worse it would've been if the zombies had been from the right game!
3000 damage to the fire demon!
+5000 XP

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1486139873))

/null Since a whole lot of people haven't posted yet, and I don't really feel like updating today, I'm enacting the "whenever I feel like it" claus. Update will be tomorrow or Monday. One of the two.

#Morethanmeetstheeye

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1486152051))

12/20 Le Dudes +2 Toast boi sparkysfaint turns to Joe and brings out a very crappy blocky sword. He rushes at Joe and brings down the sword, turning the blocky Stick into a deadly greatsword with triangles for the blade. sparkysfaint then backflips, kicking Joe on the way. He stomps his foot on the ground, and four plastic pillars come out of the ground surrounding Joe. They set on fire, and become columns of lava. They spin around a bit, splashing Joe a bit, before descending on him/her/it/tem and burning him/her/it/tem horribly. Joe promptly becomes triggered at being called an unspecified gun. In fact, he's so triggered he accidentally triggers one of sparkysfaint's gun models which is conveniently placed on top of him. The gun sprays a volley of 300 bullets then disappears. Next, sparkysfaint raises his hand. Blocks rise from the ground, colliding with Joe and knocking him around. sparkysfaint puts his hand down to the middle and swipes left. Blocks materialize to the right of Joe and smash into him from the left. sparkysfaint puts his hand down and then up, erecting a wall against the direction Joe is flying off. He outstretches his arm to the right, creating spikes on the wall. The ROBLOXian flings his arm up once again, forcing a piece of what looks like sparkly paper out of Joe. Someone goes up to read it and finds out that it’s a list of powers. Plastic appears around Joe’s limbs, which he who has been encrusted with plastic attempts to remove with his powers, but realizes that he lost his powers. The plastic turns into heavy gold, which is so heavy it makes Joe smash right through the spike wall, having the spikes impale him, stop in his tracks, and fall so hard that he falls right down to the void. sparkysfaint then decides to go in for the finishing blow. After waiting for 2 seconds for Joe to take damage from the void, sparkysfaint teleports Joe back to the battlefield and removes the gold coverings from Joe via hammer. He steps on Joe’s face before pulling out a different claw hammer. He brings it down upon his iris, which explodes and unexists. The rest of the eye comes next. Then the limbs. Finally, sparkysfaint brings down the hammer upon his torso, which, according to ROBLOX logic, is the most vital part of the anatomy, due to being the only thing keeping the rest of your parts from being disconnected. Thus, Joe is left as a head, rolling on the floor, which sparkysfaint deletes as well.

You successfully murder one JOEbob.
+5000 XP

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1486168658))

I replace the Angry Beast's brain with a nesting dog, which promptly converts it's head into a nest. 7/10 2+ from roast 3/10 2+ toaster

Angry Beast? I see no angry beast here. Just a Winged Beast. And it seems to have dodged your attack through use of syntactical ambiguity.
+2000 XP

QUOTE (Toast @ (time=1486168666))

20 15/20. (+4 from Battlefury and +2 from Redstone) 15 3/15. +1 to Battlefury, +1 to Redstone Time Travel Trouble on the Seamstress if you will, please.

Combat Special: Time Travel Trouble (Basic)
The trouble with time travel is that its so darn complicated. Allow you to explain, no, let you sum up. Basically, between time loops, bootstrap paradoxes REGULAR paradoxes (and the troubles involved in avoiding the clowns and clockroaches that generally get summoned by them) and getting stuck in duels with your grandfather over a girl he happens to be dating at the wrong point in time, it can be a real pain in the neck and often far more infuriating than is worth its time. That's not even getting into quantum blah balh blah blah blah.... Your opponent gets so overwhelmed by the flood of information on time travel that they fall over and bash their heads on a rock.
3000 damage to the Seamstress!
+2500 XP

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1486169496))

Auth is similarly unsettled by the Seamstress. This thing unnerves you as well? Good to know I wasn't the only one. Auth flicks his wrist, a small pen knife entering his hand. I'll take you up on your offer of slaying this... monstrosity. Auth hurls the knife at the Seamstress' head. It lands right between its eyes. Dead on the money. Now to put you into a similar state of cessation. A spectre appears in front of the Seamstress, drawing the Pen-knife from it before it can react. It slams the knife it collected into its throat, before Auth phases into it, and kicks the Seamstress into the Air, launching it high. Wait for it... It comes down into range, and Auth smirks. Perfect. Auth jams the knife back into the Seamstress' throat, throws her to the floor, and Auth stomps on its head. He wants this to be decisive. He pulls the knife back out, wipes it on his sleeve, regardless of whether anything got on it, then slides it back up his sleeve. Alas. I can not do much for now.

7000 damage to the Seamstress!
+9000 XP

Sp33d0n levels up: Level 4!
Combat Special unlocked: Slanderous Ink (Expert)
Limit Break unlocked: Fallen.
Redstonetam levels up: Level 3!
Combat Special unlocked: bl0xx0r (Basic)
Toast levels up: Level 2!
Combat Special unlocked: Time Travel Trouble (Advanced)
Irecreeper levels up: Level 3!
Combat Special unlocked: Huntress (Basic)

EoTB:
The Reaper start out by hunting for the blood in the water, dealing 3000 damage to the Seamstress.
The Enraged Shepherd charges forward with his crook and gives Ette a stern drubbing for 5000 damage. He blows a whistle and the sheep all follow after, charging straight into Ette, dealing 8000 damage to her.
The Angry sharks sharks swarm after Ette, dealing 10000 damage to her in a massive feeding frenzy... wait, how is there a feeding frenzy there's nothing to feed off of!
This brings us to the PS turn. The first thing Ette does upon it coming around to her is run away. She's had enough not-fighting for one war and she decides she'd better am-scray before she gets murdercated.
The Winged Beast has no such compunctions and uses To The Skies on the enraged shepherd, dealing a straight 5000 damage to him AND lifting him up off the ground.
The Seamstress attempts to use Strobe Doll on the Enraged Shepherd... but he's airborne right now and the Seamstress isn't ranged! Instead, the Seamstress opts to violently stitch together a bunch of sheep into a ball, killing 80 sheep in the process of making the huge ball of fluff.
The Fire demons decide they've had enough of the angry sharks picking on the PS side and all band together, making a nice shark stew out of one of the undamaged ones.
The Simumodder tosses a +2 to JOE and Ire, before taking note that there's way too many artifacts on the field and that maybe some of them should be removed. For now he opts to smash Bfury's new settlement and 50 of the Reaper by taking a giant bowling ball and rolling everything over with it.
"STRIKE!"

Everything ticks down/up, a whole bunch of the battlefield becomes Drowsy. The Seamstress is no longer on fire but takes 2500 damage.

Itinerary:
Regain the entity advantage!
Destroy the fire monsters!
Destroy Ette, she's a pretty powerful healer. Come to think of it, just break everything Marron summons until she's not single handedly the reason you don't have entity advantage.

Entity Advantage: [PS]

Weather: Naptime (Inflicts Drowsy on all non-PS entities every round)
Terrain: Animal Safe-Haven (randomly intercepts AS attacks with fluffy animals)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 96/100. Cool and New Portal Armor [A]. Golden Sun [A].
Fire Demons x3 [PS]: Hp: 25000/25000.
Fire Demons [PS]: Hp: 15000/25000.
The Winged Beast [PS - Ire] Hp: 29000/45000. 1/2 To the Skies. 25% Dodge Chance. Airborne.
The Seamstress [PS - Ire] Hp: 15000/40000. Creature Held: None.
Foundation of Suffering [PS - JOEbob] Hp: 30000/30000. Expansion 1/2. Shrine: 1/6
Marron [PS - Player] Hp: 10/10. 25% dodge chance. Airborne Nightmarron [A] 1/4 Petal Dance. Silver Wossname [A]
JOEbob [PS - Player] Hp: DED/10. Astral Energy: 7%. Energy Stored: 0/14.
Angry Shark [H]: Hp: 10000/10000. Drowsy 2 rounds
Angry Shark x3 [H]: Hp: 7000/10000 Drowsy 2 rounds
Reapers x50 [AS - Engie]: Hp: 200/200. Chance to counterattack. Drowsy 2 rounds
Enraged Shepherd [AS]: Hp: 35000/40000. Wooly the talking sheep 2/4. Airborne! Drowsy 2 rounds. Tow Cable: Hp: 5000/5000.
SHEEP x120 [AS]: Hp: 100/100. Drowsy. 2 rounds
Hezetor [AS - Player] Hp: 8/10. 1 regen
1412 [AS - Player] Hp: DED
Urus [AS - Player] Hp: 6/10. White Hat [A] 3/3. Golden Lasso [A] Stored entity: none
Battlefury [AS - Player] Hp: 8/10. Gloria Aurum [A] 2/5 colonists. 3/10 Greed



[/spoiler]

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 00:53:00

Hmm... entity wide drowsy. This needs fixing. I begin coding reality. Because why not. The ground in front of me in an oddly small area begins flashing in the digits and letters A-G. As I Code, it gradually grows larger and larger, staying in a cube shape. I continue coding. Tell you what, I'll give you a spoiler with all the code. The actual coding is much more complex, but that's the gist of it

At the end the cube is nearly twenty feet by twenty feet by twenty feet. With a grin, I translate all the code into binary, which springs out to take up a mile long and mile wide space, and settles into an actual physical construct of a cafe, although it looks rather digital and futuristic. Outside is a sign saying "THE DIGITAL CAFE.". Underneath in smaller print is something saying "It'll purge any drowsiness and leave you refreshed!"
So basically the Digital Cafe works by having the entity, Drowsied or not, enter the cafe, and order the coffee. There are currently two types of coffee served, although this number might increase with time and charges. The first type of coffee is the default type, which costs one charge. The machines in the back take the energy contained in the act of charging, and convert it into atoms, forming molecular bonds, then bonding those molecules together in a fashion to create coffee, which then goes into a cup, and is served to said entity. That entity drinks the default coffee, and absorbs the energy contained within a charge, temporarily increasing its speed. The second type of coffee is more difficult to make, and as such, is only available to the entities that would benefit from it most, which would be the entities with Drowsy. The cost is still that of one charge, which again is transferred into molecular bonds, but into a more complex coffee shape, one that removes feelings of drowsiness by sending the correct chemical signals to the brain (or whatever would be closest on a particular entity), and transfers the remaining energy into speed and for an unknown reason, some of the energy is transferred to the eyes, making them temporarily "sharper", increasing an entities accuracy
The Digital Cafe: Cost of +1 per entity served. Removes Drowsiness from entities server, and gives previously drowsy enemies +10% speed, and +5% accuracy. If an entity without Drowsy is served, it only gains +20% speed. Cannot be used by players. Both buffs last for 3 turns
My work done, I head into my new cafe and set up a small sign saying that "We here at The Digital Cafe can refuse to serve any entities, for any reason we want. Deal with it"
Malware Blade: 9/10 (+2 red stone)
Virus 2.0: 5/20
Oh also +2 to Toast, for helping with the Digital Cafe. In addition to gaining the honorary title of "Head Manager", he gets... you know... that +2

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 01:09:00

I dig a hole. I dig a bigger hole. I dig an even bigger hole. Finally, i a hole a dig. This spawns a mountain, made of solid gold, on top of the Foundation of Suffering. It's made of solid gold. It's weight causes the Foundation to fall into a massive sinkhole made of pure [REDACTED], the antithesis of =), also known as the Curse of Edge Incarnate. Speaking of destruction, as it turns out, i accidentally summoned an accident. Which fell on the Foundation. But what i actually summoned was an ancient generic tribal new-world empire.

The empire, going by the name of dbmrvlxfrqvlqxxonngjvafh empire. Naturally, the vast majority of it's populace storms down the mountainside, garbed in stereotypical and real aztec equipment. Equiped with massive clubs made of feathers and stone, shields of feathers, and spears of obsidian, all intent on storming the foundation. Also, did i mention they are screaming loudly, and the foundation is crumbling from sheer volume?

Regardless, they all storm the foundation. Much smashing and breaking is heard as just about anything inside experiences brutal murder, while the entire place is set alight and begins to burn down at a fast rate. Eventually, they all die when the building, horribly damaged beyond repair, simply falls into a flat pile of dust. A gust of wind blows the entire thing away. Meanwhile, i mine the mountain of soild gold with the Anti-matter pickaze. The entire mountain for some reason melts, trapping the dust inside it and gliding the ruins.

Then the pickaze explodes. Whoops.

8/10
5/10

2+ toaster

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 01:23:00

o---Charges---
Red Like Roses: 6 / 20 (+2, Emerald)
The Cat Beast: 10 / 20 (+4, JOE, Simu)
+1 to Emerald (for this turn)
+1 to the Author
Current Summons

Marron receives a fleeing Ette into her arms, who proceeds to give her a hug. Marron returns the hug, and gives her sister a pat on the back.

tc: It'll be okay, Ette.
tc: You did great, you know!

Marron spends a bit of time patching up Ette's various cuts, bite marks and sheep-hits with a quick application of needle and thread. Ette decides to work on herself too, just to speed up the process a little. After what seems like an hour of fixing wounds, Marron decides to leave her alone for a bit to go and hunt some rather ravenous sharks. She calls down her ride, and soars off to go and reap some sharks. However, when she arrives, it appears that somebody else got to them- or at least one shark, anyway, first. Puddles of blood and bits of guts are strung around the ground, while what appears to be a shark "torso" is impaled on a spire made of something that Marron knows all too well. What's left of the most injured Angry Shark, wiggling in agony on the ground, promptly has the Nightmarron slammed into it whilst in Spear Forme. She twists the spear around as she picks up a walkie-talkie on the floor, an ever-familiar voice coming through it. She doesn't sound very happy at all with who's speaking.

tc: Yeah, sure, your artistic statement on how sharks taste great on skewers is amazing...
tc: ...but I thought you were just here to supply me with cool stuff.
tc: ...You're coming over? Please don't. It's somewhat okay here.

The voice hangs up. Marron proceeds to flip out, ripping her spear out of the shark and stabbing it into its brain several times, before opting to use Huntress on it!

tc: If this makes me a direct copy of Ruby Rose, I will lose my gorilla.

The Winged Beast will use Meteor Slam on the Enraged Shepherd! The Seamstress will use Strobe Doll on the army of sheep!

...After the post happens, Marron opts to talk with the Author for a little.

tc: Hey, feel free to kill whatever my "Supplier" summons. For example, the Seamstress. With the exception of my little winged friend; he's kinda fun. And also I'll fall to my death or something.
tc: I don't know why he insists on me calling him the "Supplier", but whatever.

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 02:37:00

14/20 Le Dudes (+1 from Toast?)

+2 Emerald

sparkysfaint pulls out a sword, yells It's bloxxing time!, and rushes at the Foundation of Suffering, turns it into a group of people, and uses bl0xx0r on them.

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 02:58:00

20 20/20. (+2 from Battlefury and Emerald) Done.
15 4/15.

+2 to Battlefury.

Coming up next: The Man With a Dream.
Once, there was a city. And there was a man. The man was named David, and lived and worked in the city. In fact, he spent all of his life there, going back and forth from work, never thinking beyond the cities walls. One day, as he was his way to work, he saw THREE different coffee shops, lined up side by side. This got him thinking,

Why would someone need three coffee shops? Couldn't one serve the same purpose?

David decided against coffee that day, and just grabbed some tea from the machine at his workplace instead. Eight hours later, he packed up and returned home, this time taking a shortcut of sorts. Despite his new route, coffee shops seemed to ambush him at every corner. He kept on walking, continually looking over his shoulder in case a coffee shop snuck up behind him while he wasn't watching. Finally, he reached his apartment, and saw something horrifying. The two buildings adjacent to his had been transformed into coffee shops.

This has to stop! Why do people buy things from these places?

He sat on his steps and thought.

Perhaps if they stopped getting money, coffee shops would stop appearing... so I should find a way to starve them of customers!

Daniel head inside his apartment, threw his backpack onto his bed and leapt into his computer chair to get to work.

With my technical knowhow, I could make an online service for coffee. A digital cafe. One that would attract customers without taking any space in the real world. Yes! It's so stupid, it's genius!

Daniel worked tirelessly over the next few days, residing in his house entirely, pausing work only to take a donut bite or milkshake sip. With each new coffee shop, he redoubled his efforts. Day after day, coffee shops began to take over the whole city, until the only places left standing were Daniel's apartment, and a basement where caffine addicts sought help (It was pretty profitable, as you might imagine).

Finally, it was finished. The Digital Cafe. Although most of the time was spent designing a fancy logo for it, it was time well spent. Daniel placed it onto the internet, and let it roam free.

[This action is intended to improve the Digital Cafe's success, and maybe summon some coffee-drinking mooks too.]

Charge expended.
Steel-Eating Tiger summoned!

[AS] 60'000hp. Steel-Eating Tiger. x Attack
Passive - Picky Eater: Has high damage, but each turn alternates between choosing a victim and attacking that target. If the chosen target dies before it can attack them, it will need to choose a new target.
Special - Steel Eater: Takes 5 rounds to charge. Ignore the targeting patterns of Picky Eater, and immediately deal increased damage to a target and inflict either an attack or defence debuff, at random.

The Steel-Eating Tiger eyes the Winged Beast hungrily.

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 04:41:00

((I feel like it's about time for me to hop in.))
---
+1 Sp33d, +1 Cyan

Explosive Potential (1/20) [UPGRADE]

Just wants to be famous (1/20)
---
"So I think it's time for me to turn on this monitor and get cracking.
...
An error, huh? How strange... there's clearly something wrong... oh well, I'll get around to fixing it some other time. It's not the most important thing right now..."
---
A simulation, no matter how complex, is prone to breaches from an outside source. That's what a certain space pirate was thinking as he got through via someone else's network. Especially if said someone was just about to get in. However, since this pirate was to come in unannounced, the results were relatively... explosive.

The high ceiling of the simulation was literally torn open, a rift forming as it was split. But it clearly wasn't enough for the pirate's purposes, as the rift was quickly widened further by a multitude of potent explosives, thrown and detonated at the sides of the rift for maximum impact. The shrapnel from both the explosives and the simulation's roof decided that the best place to land was on the Seamstress, the sharp bits quickly tearing away the flesh of, if not being outright embedded or skewered into her. Kinda easy when the bits were falling point-first from about 500 miles up, going fast enough to puncture through a normal human's skull with a penny, much less large fragments of explosives and simulation roofing. Needless to say, it got messy really quickly.

However, the pirate had indeed made it through to the other side before the simulation's roof was regenerated, and was falling with the shrapnel and simulation debris he created. Again, straight at the Seamstress, strumming some sort of harp on the way down. Explosives appeared around the pirate. Lit, of course. There was an estimated 10 combined metric tons of gunpowder, sulphur, acid, casing, and radioactive substance falling straight towards the Seamstress. Not surprised, honestly. It seems to be the weakest of the PS entities, after all.

Upon nearing a landing, the pirate seems to be preparing to punch the Seamstress really hard. It's gonna be painful, especially with the added benefit of momentum helping out, and also the fact that he seems to be wearing some sort of gauntlet on top of it. The gauntlet was apparently set to explode on contact with the Seamstress's face, as the punch also sent the pirate flying to the [AS] side and with the Seamstress having one less head. Then the rest of the explosives chain-exploded on top of her, the gunpowder exploding and igniting things, the sulphur making it really hard to breathe, the acid melting her skin away, the shrapnel embedding themselves into her along with the previous skewering, and the radioactive substance creating a miniature fallout area around her. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be much of a Seamstress left after that barrage of attacks to really take advantage of the resulting devastation. And even if she still lived, she wasn't going to be that way for long.

Throughout all of that explosive carnage, however, the pirate didn't seem to be left with a scratch, burn, or mutation. In fact, his hand wasn't even torn off even a bit. Clearly, he's been using these explosives for a long time now, and shows no signs of stopping.

"Well lookie here, look who's ready to crash th' party! 'Splodimus 'ere, an' now it's time to make yer life a livin' hell!"

You clearly doubt that 'Splodimus was supposed to be the one appearing here. But it looks like he's allied with you... for now.

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 04:46:00

14/20 Vengeful God
labyrinth of madness 7/7 +2 from simumodder
foundations plee 1/6
labyrinth of madness summons a rock on top of the foundation. the rock has no attack or anything. all it can do is bodyblock
Rock ~35,000 HP?
rock bodyblocks foundation, foundation does nothing.
EDIT: if this would be a health boost otherwise, heal foundation directly. if doing this would break general 6, ignore everything between the EDIT's. /EDIT
+2 ire
RESPAWNING
/O noes I'm deaded.

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 11:04:00

15/20 Le Dudes
1/10 Which one, Meat or Vegan?

+1 Toast, +1 Bfury

Once again, sparkysfaint walks up to the Foundation of Suffering if it isn’t destroyed already, which it probably isn’t. He thinks for a bit.

sparkysfaint sets the foundation on fire.


/this is not an action part just responding to posts after
Marron Ette promptly unsets the whole foundation on fire.

It looked cooler that way! It was edgier!


Originally posted on 2017-02-04 16:02:00

((Starting in full swing!))
---
+1 Sp33d, +1 Emerald (for coffee)

Explosive Potential (2/20) [UPGRADE]

Just wants to be famous (2/20)
---
'Splodimus did well with his first impression, all things considered. But he was far from done with the Seamstress. And once he's done with her, there's no telling what he'll go after next.
"Oh, that was only th' tip o' th' iceberg, mate."

Even more unbelievable was his ground speed; easily unseeable to the naked eye, he leaves a trail of charred... whatever was on the ground at the time... in his wake. And, once again, straight towards the Seamstress.

Upon reaching her, he slides around the Seamstress, ending up behind. A quick spin punch to the back of the head was enough to knock her out cold in the wasteland 'Splodimus created prior. Which was dangerous, considering the impossibility of breathing in these conditions. But this was exactly what he wanted, and quickly got to work.

He pulls out even more explosives, this time sticking them to the sensitive areas of the Seamstress' body; the head, neck, chest, and back. However, he went a little deeper and darker than that. He ripped open her chest and planted a small nuke in her body, right next to the heart, stitching the chest back together and disabling the pain in that area, and arms the explosives remotely. And then, he waits for the Seamstress to wake up, nothing daring to come near him or his explosives in fear of having the same fate as the Seamstress. 'Splodimus was extremely precise, and really wasn't one to be trifled with.

In the meantime, he plants and arms even more explosives underground, and again, near the Seamstress.

...

About 30 minutes pass, and the Seamstress was stirring, really sick from not being able to breathe clean air for so long. She gets up, and without looking down at her chest, breathes in the clean, simulated air. That was short lived when she looked down, and turned paler than a ghost. Right on cue, too, as 'Splodimus remotely detonated all of the explosives simultaneously, including those underground. A few giblets were flung in every direction from the explosives, and even more fallout was created in the small area around the Seamstress. Or, what was the Seamstress. All that was left were likely her lower legs fallen to either side, and even then, the nuke inside her vaporized most of her body. That's not to mention the shrapnel that was generated and was not instantly vaporized from the nuke, cutting up whatever was left of her body, which was blackened from the sheer heat that was given off.

'Splodimus smiles. With his job done on the Seamstress, he begins to set his sights upon something else that was dangerous...

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 19:02:00

15/20 Vengeful God
foundations plee 2/6
+2 irecreeper
/respawning is more annoying then anything

Originally posted on 2017-02-04 19:10:00

The foundation of suffering is attacked by :mspa:dog, a fearsome creature of mass destruction that annihilates everything in it's path.
An Artistic Rendering of Mspal dog


11/15 2+ from toast
6/15
2+ to toast


Originally posted on 2017-02-05 05:56:00