QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1481028822))

i feed the cultist junior a book on growing up did i mention it causes crippling depression and a desire to murder highschoolers 3/5 omega kiwi

"School shooters are the most emo thing ever!" Her Eminence says, before Cultist Junior grows taller, bones stretching, experiencing some level of pain. The Cultist Jr's attack is buffed for this turn.

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1481042497))

TrickleJest joins the fight! Since roleplay seems to be fun and I've never done it before (yes, I've literally never roleplayed in my life), I'm gonna be using some random guy, and I'm gonna call him 'Jest', as an homage to my name, of course. I'm gonna be using Trickle as my main character for 0rigins, and Jest as my main for P&S, Chaos (when I join) and this. Jest looks at everyone on the field. Obviously since this is my first time roleplaying, the character will be a tad bit cringey. My apologies. "Oh, hey everyone! Glad you could join us! Looks like this'll be fun! I'll make sure I'll have fun! And I'll make sure you guys have fun too! B̹̫̗̻̼̫͓͓̲̙͂̔͐́̓̀͗Y̸̢̙͚͍̭̟͒̆̆̎̃̅͂͢͜͠ M͕̘̼̺̓̋͂̉̀͛̄͢͠ͅA̗̤͍̟̓̌̔͠͞ͅK̴͓̫̟̦̺͌̈͆̋̇I̢͕͙̯̲̳͋͂̓̀́N̢͎̼̤̍̓̍͆̐̀̎̈́͘͟Ģ̷̖̪̗̰̬̟̓̊̉̎͊̋͊͠͝ Ý̸͈͙̘̝̻͕̪͍̹͑̊͐͒͒̚͝O̢̳̰̖͎̬͉̯͐̑̈́͑͊̃̂͟Ů̶̧̯͓̙̩̯̈̽͒̇́͊̀̃̚͟Ṟ̢̘͈̥͙͇͓̜̆̅͌̑̈̎ Ḑ̴̧̛̯̰̙͔̟̫͋̅͊̽̌̚̚͢Ḛ̫̘̮͉͓̫̎̒̌̓̈̎͌̇̾A̯̤̝̥̳͇͆̊̅̋̆T̸̛̬̦̪̘̯͓̭̀̊͒̈̊̾́̏͢͢Ḧ̷̥͇̼̭͐̄̀̿͒́͘͜ Q̸̯͉͎͙̱̝͓͋̃̏̑̃͛̊̚̕U̧̨̝̳͓̜͔̥͌̌̅̽͑͘Į̫̘͓̟̇̏̅̽̏͘͘͢͟͞C̘͕̗̝̩͍͎̀̽̚͘͞͝Ķ̵̬͙̬͍̹͔̄͗͑̓̌͜ A̧̛͎̺̯̖̓̿͋͗̈́̐̈͐Ǹ̷̡̞͈̮̣̰͇͍̝̔̄͌̎̚ͅD̙̹͓̭͛̓̋̃̈́͊͌̎̕͘ͅ Ȅ̗̫̗̤̺̈́͂͊̓͊̑A̛͕̳̣̜̞̜͖̗̘̤̽͗̌̆̓́́͘Ś̨̛̙̙͔̲̣̻̂̆̅̆̀̾͒̔͢Ỳ̑̈͑̍̆." Everyone just stares at Jest. "Well, guys, looks like I'm joining the good guys! Yipee!" Jest joins the [ES]! "Now it's time for the fun!" Jest grabs a big salt shaker:  He shakes it vigorously which summons none other than GORDON MOTHERFUCKING RAMSEY! King of salt, master chef, master of salt and king of chefs! Gordon Ramsey walks up to Vertex and yells "IT'S FUCKING RAW!!!" He proceeds to turn Vertex into a raw pancake, before devouring her. Yes. That just happened. All of that. CHARGES: IT'S FUCKING RAWER!!!: 1/10 IT'S EVEN FUCKING RAWER!!!: 1/25

Vertex defines a raw pancake as pancake batter, and rips off a girl long obiliterated, turning into a form of pancake slime, before tearing open Gordon Ramsey's stomach. She shifts back and then realises, wait, that's an instant summon, before something abyssal begins to grow within Gordon Ramsey's corpse. Kill him?

QUOTE (Hezetor @ (time=1481055863))

Those who are observing the sky in this very moment, for some absurd reason, can notice a sparkle in the atmosphere of the plane they are in this moment. This iridescent glitter gets bigger, very quickly while a stratospheric whistle breaks the air many begin to notice what appears to be a meteor on fire coming from space, in an instant the meteor crashes on the field with an extraordinary roar on what was once know as the "Cultist Jr". A man emerges from the newly created crater, his stubble beard and black hair are almost burned from the impact, he wears an old black jacket and a plain pair of jeans. "I, the great Hezetor, have come in this place for a picnic, yet I see no picnic here, what is the meaning of this?" he says loudly. Hezetor:While I, Hezetor, was landing in this place I heard that you, Paris, had invited me for said picnic. He says while pointing at Paris. Hezetor: I demand an explanation! Where is the extraordinary meal I was promised!? [For the moment let's say that I join Neutral] 3/7 +1 from Revan 1/2 +1 Revan

Your meteor slams straight into Cultist Jr., dealing 3,200 damage! Paris looks at you, and takes a step back.
"I'm, sorry about the picnic, uh, that girl over there burnt it down, but it's okay, I'll get food as soon as she leaves me alone." Paris says. Vertex hums, finally shutting up.

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1481061451))

The Author faceplams whole still holding that sword. Why did I not see that coming from a mile away? Auth sheaths it, and points his hand towards the Dandy Hacker, causing ink to leap at her. It fuses her wounds shut. Here, sorry about the barrier. The Author also apologises to Paris. Hey. Sorry about accidentally knocking you back. The Author introduces himself as such. I am known as The Author, though most people just call me Auth. I have come to aid you. With varying degrees of success. ACTION SUMMARY: The Author heals the Dandy Hacker, and apologises. The Author also apologises to Paris. SPECIAL ATTACKS: Inks of the Underknight: 2/25 Valiance of the Faithful: 2/25 +2 to Trickle.

"Okay," Paris says, nodding. Ace gains 4 HP.

QUOTE (Revan @ (time=1481062937))

"No worries man, it happens to the best of us." The Dandy Hacker dusting herself off and nods at Auth. "The name is Ace or well that's what I'm called anyway.." Ace's cloak sends a few more strings of code out which latch onto Paris, they dig slightly into Paris but cause no pain. The strands of code promptly snap as the Hacker's end pulls back into her code cloak while Paris's end goes into her. It then permeates within her, fulling her with their purpose. Paris suddenly feels a little bit more evasive, learning how to godmod attacks on her better from the code. "I understand that embedding things into your friends is a bit taboo but I think you really needed that." The code in Paris is her's now, Ace has no sway over it. It is a gift to her with no, pardon the pun, strings attached. She pauses unsure what to do about Cultist Jr. this is a bit of a moral thing. 3/?? (+ from Hezetor) 1/10 Regen +1 to Hezetor

Paris nods, and smiles. Incoming attacks are now less likely to hit her!

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1481064641))

I make the Cultist Jr. go to school, distracting it.

The Cultist Jr. comes back with a better understanding of how to execute you all. Vertex's school is Vertex's school, after all. However, it takes extra damage for the next few turns.

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1481091691))

"This situation may prove irritating. Current target, Cultist Jr. Unknown capabilities. Relatively fragile." The woman then reaches into her suit again, rummages around for... something, and then grabs what she was looking for. This time, the object she pulls out appears to be a rather large jet-black shotgun, albeit decorated with a slight amount of purple colouration on the barrel. She appears to have pulled out an Onyx Blaster. Odd. She's visibly NOT a Terrarian... However, the weapon she's wielding is very real, as she proceeds to blast a few shotgun blasts at the Cultist Jr, jet black orbs racing out from the tip of the shotgun and smacking into the cultist just ahead of the hail of bullets that each shot produces. Let's count the shots? One, two, three, four, five, six. Six bursts from an Onyx Blaster, straight into the cultist's chest. That's gotta hurt.

Paris looks quite disturbed as you shoot the Cultist Jr. several times, dealing 3,600 damage!

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1481109673))

I force the cultist jr to type up a long post on mobile. Omega kiwi 4/5

The Cultist Jr.'s hands quake and one drops off, disturbing Paris even more. The Cultist Jr. takes 2,800 damage, but a darkness begins to emerge from his hands.

---

Paris pats the Terror Creeper on the back, before it reaches out, curls of lightning sparking out, and flying towards the Cultist Jr, lightly paralysing him for 1,000 damage, and causing 250 of his extra damage to fall into the aether. Gordon Ramsey shakes, whispering and hurting, before Ace becomes "FUCKING RAW", the void changing the tone of his voice. Ace notices her arm melting, turning into a mix of flour and butter and sugar and pancakey goodness, before she takes 5 damage. The Cultist Jr. full memorises the skills that Battlefury and his school taught him and the attack boost becomes permanent, before going straight for the Terror Creeper, causing Paris to almost squeal as the Terror Creeper takes 3,750 damage.

Paris stares at the Cultist Jr.

"What, are you scared to kill it? Well, let me be the first to tell you that the Cultist Jr. isn't actually a little kid, just an abomination I imagined up," Vertex says, smiling at Paris, who stares at her. Paris steps forward, before a string of energy goes out towards the Cultist Jr, hitting it in the head for 5,500 damage, whilst Vertex laughs a little, not bothering to do one of her quips. Paris then turns towards Vertex, before imitating Ace, text flying about her, before raining down. Vertex stands still, and Paris rushes in, pushing Vertex back a long distance, dealing 3 damage. "That's the spirit!"

Paris growls, turns round, and stops, before Vertex moves in, and rolls 2d9s, landing on Ace and Razihel. She rolls them again, and lands on Ace and Razihel. She thanks her lover, the Random Number God, for being so caring before she decides to cook up Ace's arm into a nice delicious pancake, sending cascades of fire into her arm, melting off her shoulder for 5 damage. She then throws Razihel into the sky, falling back down into Jest, and crashing into the maniac for 5 damage. She then summons an array of daggers, linking them together before gutting the Terror Creeper, and heading straight towards Paris, who blurs out of existence for a second, returning. Vertex doesn't pursue her further, and teleports back to her previous position.

---

The Battlefield:
Terrain: Plains.
Field Effects: None.
Thought of the Day: Minor highschool thematics don't work particularly well if only one character conforms to the archetype.
[ES] Battlefury: 20/20 HP
[ES] Jondanger: 20/20 HP
[ES] Revan/Ace: 6/20 HP
[ES] Redstone: 20/20 HP
[ES] Sp33d0n/The Author: 20/20 HP
[ES] Cyanogynist/Razihel: 10/20 HP
[ES] Engie: 12/20 HP
[ES] Jest: 15/20 HP

[N] Hezetor: 20/20 HP.

[ES] Terror Creeper: 0/10,000 HP, 2,000 ATK.

[N] Gordon Ramsey: 100/100 HP, Awakening: [0/2].

[PV] Cultist Jr.: 10,200/25,000 HP, 3,750 ATK, Hyperdeath: [1/2], Distracted: II.

[GM] Paris: 10/10 HP.
[GM] Her Eminence Vertex: 47/50 HP.
Distance Escorted: 9%.

Originally posted on 2016-12-07 14:18:00

Jest catches the +1 Sp33d0n gave me in mid-air, and returns the favor by sending a +1 back.

Anywho, Jest continues to be maniacal in every way possible.
He hops up and down on his pogo, doing absolutely fucking nothing, until he decides he's hungry.
Jest pulls out a pack of Oreos straight out of his asshole and devours them post haste. Everybody is utterly disgusted. Now that Jest is fed, he might attack.

Jest then pulls a bullshit JoeBob-like transformation and becomes Jest Fueled By G-Fuel. Keemstar jokes. Yay.
Jest then pulls a second JoeBob-like transformation in one post becoming Jest Fueled By Kek.
He then reaches his final point, Jest Fueled By Thyme, and stays like that for good.
Jest declares that it's "Jest Thyme" and his skin is shed, revealing a purple hue like that of Flumpty after injesting thyme. Where did he get the thyme from? The same place he got the Oreos from. It's Jest Thyme, suckers!

Jest picks up his pogo, sharpens the end of it, jumps into the air and rams it into Veryex's skull. Any dodging techniques used by Vertex are thymed, and if I somehow fail to transform, the Jests that are fueled by thyme in alternate timelines will dimension hop and feed thyme to the Jests who failed to injest thyme. Sound like bullshit? That's cause it's Jest Thyme, suckers!

IT'S FUCKING RAW!!!: 2/10 (+1 from Sp33d0n)
IT'S FUCKING RAWER!!!: 1/25

+1 to Sp33d0n

Originally posted on 2016-12-07 19:07:00

[Ace appears to be in horrible pain right now, please hold.]

Ace starts tremble, she's in too much pain as her shoulder slops off its side. She doesn't open her mouth though, she'd start screaming, she just makes a faint whimper. When she can act properly she takes her hat off her head with her remaining arm. She places it in between her legs and reaches in, searching of something useful. She eventually manages to find a small blessing from... the Pharaoh. It causes a small amount of restoration to her shoulder, causing the blackened muscle to heal and coil around her healed bone, a small layer of skin covers both of those up. But she currently now has a stump where her arm was.

Starter Pack Armor 3/20

Regen 2/10

+1 to Dogman and Sp33dy

Originally posted on 2016-12-07 21:25:00

Auth clenches his fist, and swings his arm up. Streams of ink attach to Ace's shoulder socket. The Author releases his fist, and carefully motions his hand, so the ink forms an arm.

That looks absolutely, dreadfully painful. Allow me to aid you here.

The Author clenches his fist again, and the Ink causes Ace's arm to regrow.

Any better? Should work just like normal.

Her pain should subside by this point.

ACTION SUMMARY:

The Author heals Ace again.

SPECIAL ATTACKS:

@Trickle I gave you 2 points last turn.

Inks of the Underknight: 4/25 (+1 from Trickle)

Valiance of the Faithful: 4/25 (+1 from Revan)

Originally posted on 2016-12-08 05:10:00

"This is combat, Paris. If the enemy are allowed to keep being alive, they will inevitably spend their time preventing you from being alive. Current target, Cultist Jr. Current observed capabilities include low damage attack, unknown charge. Vulnerable to status effects."

She sheathes the Onyx Blaster back into her suit pocket (somehow), pausing for a moment, and withdrawing out something else. This particular weapon that she's gotten out seems to be... a jar of piss. Which she uses by lobbing it at the Cultist Jr. Cue the jarate debuff being applied to him. Then, in order to exploit that newfound vulnerability, she moves to pull something else out, the new weapon appearing to resemble one of the old forms of a certain alchemy from DTG2... specifically, she's pulled out a nuclear crossbow-like gun thing.

"Current strategy, weaken with jarate and irradiate with nuclear crossbow bolt. Intended effect, target quickly succumbs to amplified nuclear radiation damage."

She then fires, a single bolt flying forth from the crossbow to embed itself into the cultist's foot. As this is nowhere near where she wanted to aim, the woman in the suit reloads the crossbow, then fires again, this bolt flying directly into his chest instead. Both of the bolts seem to have been made from heavily irradiated carbon rods...

Originally posted on 2016-12-08 08:08:00

Ace stares at her newly reformed arm surprised by its sudden return. She brings her arm up and gives a thumbs up to Auth

Starter Pack Armor 3/20

Regen 2/10

+1 to Dogman and Sp33dy

Originally posted on 2016-12-08 13:02:00

Hezetor: so this is your explanation? Absolutely ridiculous, I might as well eat yo-
Hezetor: Oh the chief is here.
After saying this Hezetor goes next to Gordon Ramsey and puts his hands on Ramsey's head.

Hezetor: Wake up, I'm hungry!

His hands start to emit a white light that expands and twirls entering inside of Ramsey's head from the nose, as soon as a nice amount of energy had entered Ramsay head he begins to shake uncontrollably for a few seconds after that a little steam comes out from his eyes.
Ramsey just got an injection of Hezenergy.


4/7
2/2 Expended
+2 Revan

Originally posted on 2016-12-08 19:51:00

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1481124635))

I shove a book about not being edgy and how to fail at being a cultist into Cultist Junior, who promptly ignites, his body burning as he he is edginess and the whole being a cultist thing is agonizingly expelled. 5/5 omega kiwi f

The Omega Kiwi is delayed until next round! The Cultist Jr's being begins to rip, as you deal 4,000 damage straight to the weak point.

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1481137623))

Jest catches the +1 Sp33d0n gave me in mid-air, and returns the favor by sending a +1 back. Anywho, Jest continues to be maniacal in every way possible. He hops up and down on his pogo, doing absolutely fucking nothing, until he decides he's hungry. Jest pulls out a pack of Oreos straight out of his asshole and devours them post haste. Everybody is utterly disgusted. Now that Jest is fed, he might attack. Jest then pulls a bullshit JoeBob-like transformation and becomes Jest Fueled By G-Fuel. Keemstar jokes. Yay. Jest then pulls a second JoeBob-like transformation in one post becoming Jest Fueled By Kek. He then reaches his final point, Jest Fueled By Thyme, and stays like that for good. Jest declares that it's "Jest Thyme" and his skin is shed, revealing a purple hue like that of Flumpty after injesting thyme. Where did he get the thyme from? The same place he got the Oreos from. It's Jest Thyme, suckers! Jest picks up his pogo, sharpens the end of it, jumps into the air and rams it into Veryex's skull. Any dodging techniques used by Vertex are thymed, and if I somehow fail to transform, the Jests that are fueled by thyme in alternate timelines will dimension hop and feed thyme to the Jests who failed to injest thyme. Sound like bullshit? That's cause it's Jest Thyme, suckers! IT'S FUCKING RAW!!!: 2/10 (+1 from Sp33d0n) IT'S FUCKING RAWER!!!: 1/25 +1 to Sp33d0n

Vertex uses a generic blocking technique, and points out that thyme is not a verb. Your pogo falls next to her, before she stabs you in the eye with it, dealing 5 damage.

QUOTE (Revan @ (time=1481145944))

[Ace appears to be in horrible pain right now, please hold.] Ace starts tremble, she's in too much pain as her shoulder slops off its side. She doesn't open her mouth though, she'd start screaming, she just makes a faint whimper. When she can act properly she takes her hat off her head with her remaining arm. She places it in between her legs and reaches in, searching of something useful. She eventually manages to find a small blessing from... the Pharaoh. It causes a small amount of restoration to her shoulder, causing the blackened muscle to heal and coil around her healed bone, a small layer of skin covers both of those up. But she currently now has a stump where her arm was. Starter Pack Armor 3/20 Regen 2/10 +1 to Dogman and Sp33dy

Paris turns towards you, and realises that your arm is burnt, as you heal for 5 HP. She holds out her arms, before...

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1481173823))

Auth clenches his fist, and swings his arm up. Streams of ink attach to Ace's shoulder socket. The Author releases his fist, and carefully motions his hand, so the ink forms an arm. That looks absolutely, dreadfully painful. Allow me to aid you here. The Author clenches his fist again, and the Ink causes Ace's arm to regrow. Any better? Should work just like normal. Her pain should subside by this point. ACTION SUMMARY: The Author heals Ace again. SPECIAL ATTACKS: @Trickle I gave you 2 points last turn. Inks of the Underknight: 4/25 (+1 from Trickle) Valiance of the Faithful: 4/25 (+1 from Revan)

...you heal Ace for 5 HP, and restores your arm. Paris smiles, and gives you a thumbs-up.

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1481184530))

"This is combat, Paris. If the enemy are allowed to keep being alive, they will inevitably spend their time preventing you from being alive. Current target, Cultist Jr. Current observed capabilities include low damage attack, unknown charge. Vulnerable to status effects." She sheathes the Onyx Blaster back into her suit pocket (somehow), pausing for a moment, and withdrawing out something else. This particular weapon that she's gotten out seems to be... a jar of piss. Which she uses by lobbing it at the Cultist Jr. Cue the jarate debuff being applied to him. Then, in order to exploit that newfound vulnerability, she moves to pull something else out, the new weapon appearing to resemble one of the old forms of a certain alchemy from DTG2... specifically, she's pulled out a nuclear crossbow-like gun thing. "Current strategy, weaken with jarate and irradiate with nuclear crossbow bolt. Intended effect, target quickly succumbs to amplified nuclear radiation damage." She then fires, a single bolt flying forth from the crossbow to embed itself into the cultist's foot. As this is nowhere near where she wanted to aim, the woman in the suit reloads the crossbow, then fires again, this bolt flying directly into his chest instead. Both of the bolts seem to have been made from heavily irradiated carbon rods...

Vertex stares at you blankly, as you throw urine on a child and shoot them, dealing 4,100 damage.

QUOTE (Revan @ (time=1481202138))

Ace stares at her newly reformed arm surprised by its sudden return. She brings her arm up and gives a thumbs up to Auth, delighted with her reformed limb. "You are a fucking saint, thank you." Bits of code clothe her arm covering it in her cloak. She still has had quite a bit taken out of her from having all of this happen in such a short time period, as trying to not scream in agony takes a bit out of you. She decides to spend the rest of the turn recovering and moving her arm testing it to make sure it won't disappear on her. "Wait... I've heard about you Hezetor... the Pharaoh once mentioned you... You probably should be looking at Vertex right now for a meal. She's a pretty strong godmodder." Starter Pack Armor 5/20  (+1 from Hezetor to both) Regen 4/10 +1 to Sp33don and Hezetor

The darkness in Vertex's eyes expands, as she stares harder at you, but decides to respond in Hezetor's response. You recover to full.

QUOTE (Hezetor @ (time=1481226686))

Hezetor: so this is your explanation? Absolutely ridiculous, I might as well eat yo- Hezetor: Oh the chief is here. After saying this Hezetor goes next to Gordon Ramsey and puts his hands on Ramsey's head. Hezetor: Wake up, I'm hungry! His hands start to emit a white light that expands and twirls entering inside of Ramsey's head from the nose, as soon as a nice amount of energy had entered Ramsay head he begins to shake uncontrollably for a few seconds after that a little steam comes out from his eyes. Ramsey just got an injection of Hezenergy. 4/7 2/2 Expended +2 Revan

"You should eat her. I've eaten someof her cooking, she can't cook, I know, and honestly, she'd be a better meal than anything she could cook, ever. She's also weak enough that killing her, or even absorbing her could net you godmodding with little preparation," Vertex says, beaming at you, "She's also a waste of space who is likely particularly tasty. I am harder to kill and eating me would simply burn you out of reality. Paris is the better meal."

In your rage, you burn Gordon Ramsey out of reality, a glitch replacing him with the dop. Seriously.

---

Vertex smiles harder as Cultist Jr. is the only entity left on the Battlefield. It rushes forward, towards Paris, who tries to blink out of reality, but falls into a limit, and onto the floor. The Cultist Jr. opens its hood, and a god chants, time warping around ot, before a cascade of blades cut into Paris's mind, hurtting her again, before the wounds become physical.

1 damage. -3% distance.

"...help. help," Paris says, shaking, before getting up, and getting inspired. She reaches into that pure evil, perhaps tainting it just a little, before a humanoid coated with stars appears. Paris gets up, the attack draining her enough to prevent her from using most of the rest of her turn.

"You know what. No. I'm not going to let you beat me into submission again and again, and again, just like you used to," Paris shouts, before granting the Escorters a local +1.

"Hah. That's the spirit, but wait! I have so much more in store for you to experience!" Vertex shouts, going right up to Paris, and doing nothing but singing a song, a sing so edgy that it creeps over to Battlefury, Redstone and Engie, getting into their minds and dealing 12 damage. Engie dies from this.

---

The Battlefield:
Terrain: Plains.
Field Effects: None.
Thought of the Day: Minor highschool thematics don't work particularly well if only one character conforms to the archetype.
[ES] Battlefury: 10/20 HP
[ES] Jondanger: 20/20 HP
[ES] Revan/Ace: 20/20 HP
[ES] Redstone: 10/20 HP
[ES] Sp33d0n/The Author: 20/20 HP
[ES] Cyanogynist/Razihel: 10/20 HP
[ES] Engie: 0/20 HP
[ES] Jest: 10/20 HP

[N] Hezetor: 20/20 HP.

[ES] Terror Starwalker: 100/100 HP. Hyper Evasive. Dreamstepper: [0/2].

[PV] Cultist Jr.: 2,100/25,000 HP, 3,750 ATK, Hyperdeath: [1/2], Distracted: II.

[GM] Paris: 9/10 HP.
[GM] Her Eminence Vertex: 47/50 HP.
Distance Escorted: 6%.

Originally posted on 2016-12-08 20:28:00

"Actually, I can cook, so if you want, I can do the picnic right now... in fact."

Ace takes off her hat and holds it in-between her regrown arm, admiring the usefulness of the limb. She pulls out a small picnic basket and a blanket. The blanket is set upon the ground and the picnic basket opened to reveal a bottle of wine and a glass for Hezetor as well as several rather impressive looking sandwiches of restaurant quality.

"Take what you want."

Vertex has a realization, the way Ace set up the picnic is directly in front of Paris. She'd have to attack the Picnic in front of Hezetor and anger him in the process of trying to assault Parris putting her in a distinct disadvantage.

"I know what you want Mr. Hezetor, you're fancying yourself as an Alpha Godmodder and eating a godmodder seems like a great way to do that right?" She's unused to speaking like this, but she's going to protect Paris and try her damnedest to not allow Vertex to sway Hezetor over to her side, she feels a bit burdened but she carries on.

"But I have another way, either through eating a large enough chunks of Vertex and enough effort or... maybe I can ask for a favor."

He'd grant it to her too, but she was still afraid of asking Him for a favor... giving somebody the chance to live, remember that.

"The Pharaoh collects godmodders bits and other things... maybe He'd be willing to part with an Alpha's body or... so-something for me. But, Paris needs your help if you want that."

Starter Pack Armor 6/20 (+1 from Hezetor and Paris to both)

Regen 6/10

+1 to Sp33don and Hezetor

Originally posted on 2016-12-08 21:51:00

I behead the Cultist Junior, before throwing his head (now a bomb) in the direct of Vertex. The rest of his body falls into a pit of strange golden mist that was not there a second ago.

Moments later, a gurgle of blood is heard, as the body of the cultist absorbs the golden mist. Seconds later, he is shoved into a very special furnace- The Organic Material Transmutation Furnauce. It transmutes the agonyized, barely-alive body into fine, golden Cultist Jr Ore. He is then refined into a blob of golden Cultist Jr metal, and a flattening press crushs his new, metal form flat. Thoughout this process, an agonizing flame covers his body, causing him constant agony. Eventually, a statue of him screaming in agony as his soul leaves his body is erected, created from the Ore. Of course, the statue contains every part of him..

Except for one. His heart. His heart, the new center of his life, brought back by golden mists. And, of course, an open slot in the statue is present. How strange that it would be that slot would fit his heart perfectly.


6/7 omega kiwi

Originally posted on 2016-12-08 22:47:00

The suited woman's head appears to have exploded due to the circumstances of her death. Despite this, her body remains standing. While almost certainly not in a state to say anything, the rest of her body keeps moving. Her hands begins patting her suit until she finds the pocket, then reaches inside and feels around for a moment, before withdrawing what appears to be a spare head on a metal collar. Fastening the collar around the stump of her neck, a moment passes. Then, the spare head's eyes open.

"That was mildly unpleasant, as usual."

After a moment, she removes the collar, revealing that it has seamlessly merged her new head with her body. Then, she tucks the collar back into her suit, and those paying attention would note it's already growing a new spare head. Also, that there is no conceivable way any of the crap she's getting out should even fit in there.

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 00:43:00

As I'm on myPad, I'll make it quick.

Auth makes an attempt to heal Paris. If he cannot do this, he surrounds Paris in a protective Vortex of ink.

It will assume that Healing is a-go, for the sake of longer posts.

The Author carefully draws his fingers into a pose, something like one would hold a needle.

Like for sewing.

Or as Auth is using it, applying stitches.

An absurdly fine stream of ink flies towards Paris, stitching a wound applied by Vertex. The Ink forms valid stitches, before instantly fusing Paris' wound back together as if it was never there. Auth swings his arm around, moving the ink like a healing ribbon. Before too long, all of Paris' wounds are healed.

Madam, are you feeling much better?

The Author makes a mental note that Paris and Vertex appear to have known each other prior to this. For quite some time. Are they related?

The Author fires a disparaging glance at Vertex. Suspicions are forming in his head.

SPECIAL ATTACKS:

Valiance of the Faithful: 6/25 (+1 from Trickle)

Inks of the Underknight: 7/25 (+1 from Revan and Paris)

+1 to Trickle and Revan

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 01:49:00

Ace buffs the Starwalker's defense by drawing a small circle around it with a stick, carving it into the ground. She then draws lines pointing to the Starwalker. The Starwalker looks upon it with slight awe as if these symbols were some ancient revelation bestowed upon them.

"These are sigils designed to strengthen you, it should grant you enough strength to survive an onslaught.

The Starwalker looks in awe at them and feels its power, such power granted from a few symbols... this woman must be some sort of magician or sorcerer.

Ace hopes that Chaos Magic will pull through as the belief in the symbols make the symbols stronger which makes the ritual stronger. Her knowledge in sorcery was a bit lacking compared to her Teacher but this seemed basic enough and had worked well enough.

(+1 from Sp33don)
Starter Pack Armor 8/20

Regen 8/10

+1 to Sp33don and Hezetor

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 03:44:00

As Ramsey dies Hezetor says something about just wanting to wake him up, but he quickly realizes that there is no problem as Ace just created a picnic for him.
He quickly sits on the blankets and starts to eat without really caring about what happens on the battlefield.
After he unceremoniously devours a sandwich he tells Ace:

Hezetor: I don't know anyone called "Pharaoh" so he probably meant someone else, because how could he talk about me if we never met?

after drinking a glass of wine he continues

Hezetor: and I don't have any clue about this "Alpha Godmodder" thing or how is called, but it surely sound tasty.

After this he continues to eat his picnic for the remaining of his turn, acquiring energy, unless he is somewhat disturbed by some fool.



5/7
3/13 +2 from Revan
+2 Revan

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 11:26:00

/rp
Ace shakes her head to Hezetor, "He just knows things, trust me on that. I guess you just must have been noteworthy or something." She looks at him again, even if he didn't know it he probably would want it.



Originally posted on 2016-12-09 12:45:00

Whoopsies. Jest claims the +1 Paris gave him and the +1 he missed last round, and gives Sp33d a +2. (Sorry for the muck up)

Jest appears angry as his thyme plan flopped. Miserably.
Not to worry though. He always has a back up plan.
If you've read my latest DLE dop you'd know Jest's origin story.
But I'm not gonna explain it here, that post took way too long to make.

Anywho, Jest isn't a normal being. He goes in the maniacal clown category with Tricky the Clown and Gamzee Makara. It's not that he's an actual clown, it's that he's honestly a pretty sore loser and only a clown metaphorically.

Jest can't and won't stand Vertex stabbing him in his eye. Not that it matters. He stabs his other eye just for fun rendering him completely fucking blind.
He then walks up to Vertex and asks her a riddle of sorts.

"If two fat dogs are fighting for a biscuit, one with asthma and another with a cyan purse full of rotten yams, when will Starbucks close?"

Vertex reminds Jest that random =/= funny.
Now she really got him triggered.

Jest full of pent up rage takes the pogo stick and hops to insane heights landing himself all the way on Mars, where he launches himself down on Vertex wearing those boots from Portal that stop fall damage or simply boots with Feather Falling 1,000,000.

If that still doesn't do damage, it secretly turns out that Jest rubbed himself all over with petrol or gasoline for the American folk before he jumped down, meaning that Vertex is now covered in petrol. He then spreads the petrol around and lights it on fire putting Vertex in a giant fire inferno.

He then proceeds to take another pogo stick and shove them both into Vertex's chest, nice and deep. He takes immense pleasure in the fact that Vertex is bleeding a lot right now, organs spilling out on the floor. He backs away to assure that she doesn't kill him.

Vertex takes some time to realize what's happening and once she packs her shit together she sees Jest running full SANIC speed at her ass with spikes facing outside to make sure he doesn't get stabbed. He crashes into Vertex and makes her bleed a lot more. He doesn't take damage from the crash due to being covered in bubble wrap which as everybody knows is holy material.

Jest then high kicks Vertex's head, smacking it on the floor and smearing her blood all over the ground. She's nicely laying on the ground now, and Jest takes that opportunity to nuke her with all his anger.

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!" He yells.
Perplexed at the fact that Vertex is still alive, Jest goes deep underground and emerges with a shit ton of mole people that slowly chew on Vertex, eroding her flesh bit by bit. While Vertex is fighting off the moles, Jest does these actions at the same second using bullshit clown physics so Vertex doesn't notice.

Firstly he ties Vertex up with duct tape.
Then he puts rope around her neck.
Lastly he pulls the rope with all his might choking Vertex.
The moles keep eroding her flesh and bones while she's on the ground trying to release herself from the tape and rope.

If Vertex is still magically alive Jest slices and dices her with a giant machete while she's releasing herself from the tape n' rope.
Jest also cuts her head in half and gruesomely cuts her legs off.
Neat.

I'm not done yet though.

Jest bashes a giant fucking hammer on Vertex.
This all happens insanely quick so Vertex will probably get hit with at least one attack


IT'S FUCKING RAW!!!: 5/10 (I also forgot to advance it last round cause I'm a dummy, so +1 from Paris, +1 from Sp33d, +1 from last round if it's allowed)
IT'S FUCKING RAWER!!!: 3/25 (Same thing here)

+2 to Sp33d0n

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 13:37:00

QUOTE (Revan @ (time=1481233869))

"Actually, I can cook, so if you want, I can do the picnic right now... in fact." Ace takes off her hat and holds it in-between her regrown arm, admiring the usefulness of the limb. She pulls out a small picnic basket and a blanket. The blanket is set upon the ground and the picnic basket opened to reveal a bottle of wine and a glass for Hezetor as well as several rather impressive looking sandwiches of restaurant quality. "Take what you want." Vertex has a realization, the way Ace set up the picnic is directly in front of Paris. She'd have to attack the Picnic in front of Hezetor and anger him in the process of trying to assault Parris putting her in a distinct disadvantage. "I know what you want Mr. Hezetor, you're fancying yourself as an Alpha Godmodder and eating a godmodder seems like a great way to do that right?" She's unused to speaking like this, but she's going to protect Paris and try her damnedest to not allow Vertex to sway Hezetor over to her side, she feels a bit burdened but she carries on. "But I have another way, either through eating a large enough chunks of Vertex and enough effort or... maybe I can ask for a favor." He'd grant it to her too, but she was still afraid of asking Him for a favor... giving somebody the chance to live, remember that. "The Pharaoh collects godmodders bits and other things... maybe He'd be willing to part with an Alpha's body or... so-something for me. But, Paris needs your help if you want that." Starter Pack Armor 6/20 (+1 from Hezetor and Paris to both) Regen 6/10 +1 to Sp33don and Hezetor

"Oh, I have contingencies against people becoming godmodders off of eating me," Vertex says. Paris is now somewhat guided via picnic, until Hezetor eats it. She doesn't respond to that thing about the Pharaoh, but she clearly doesn't like you and your tactics.

QUOTE (Battlefury @ (time=1481237269))

I behead the Cultist Junior, before throwing his head (now a bomb) in the direct of Vertex. The rest of his body falls into a pit of strange golden mist that was not there a second ago. Moments later, a gurgle of blood is heard, as the body of the cultist absorbs the golden mist. Seconds later, he is shoved into a very  special furnace- The Organic Material Transmutation Furnauce. It transmutes the agonyized, barely-alive body into fine, golden Cultist Jr Ore. He is then refined into a blob of golden Cultist Jr metal, and a flattening press crushs his new, metal form flat. Thoughout this process, an agonizing flame covers his body, causing him constant agony. Eventually, a statue of him screaming in agony as his soul leaves his body is erected, created from the Ore. Of course, the statue contains every part of him.. Except for one. His heart. His heart, the new center of his life, brought back by golden mists. And, of course, an open slot in the statue is present. How strange that it would be that slot would fit his heart perfectly. 6/7 omega kiwi

The Cultist Jr. is now a statue! Darkness pours out of it, but Vertex will leave you to do whatever you want to do with it, for a few turns.

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1481244184))

The suited woman's head appears to have exploded due to the circumstances of her death. Despite this, her body remains standing. While almost certainly not in a state to say anything, the rest of her body keeps moving. Her hands begins patting her suit until she finds the pocket, then reaches inside and feels around for a moment, before withdrawing what appears to be a spare head on a metal collar. Fastening the collar around the stump of her neck, a moment passes. Then, the spare head's eyes open. "That was mildly unpleasant, as usual." After a moment, she removes the collar, revealing that it has seamlessly merged her new head with her body. Then, she tucks the collar back into her suit, and those paying attention would note it's already growing a new spare head. Also, that there is no conceivable way any of the crap she's getting out should even fit in there.

You respawn! Vertex sighs at you continuing to exist.

QUOTE (Sp33d0n @ (time=1481248155))

As I'm on myPad, I'll make it quick. Auth makes an attempt to heal Paris. If he cannot do this, he surrounds Paris in a protective Vortex of ink. It will assume that Healing is a-go, for the sake of longer posts. The Author carefully draws his fingers into a pose, something like one would hold a needle. Like for sewing. Or as Auth is using it, applying stitches. An absurdly fine stream of ink flies towards Paris, stitching a wound applied by Vertex. The Ink forms valid stitches, before instantly fusing Paris' wound back together as if it was never there. Auth swings his arm around, moving the ink like a healing ribbon. Before too long, all of Paris' wounds are healed. Madam, are you feeling much better? The Author makes a mental note that Paris and Vertex appear to have known each other prior to this. For quite some time. Are they related? The Author fires a disparaging glance at Vertex. Suspicions are forming in his head. SPECIAL ATTACKS: Valiance of the Faithful: 6/25 (+1 from Trickle) Inks of the Underknight: 7/25 (+1 from Revan and Paris) +1 to Trickle and Revan

Vertex fires a disparaging glance back. She'd really like to know what you think of her and Paris's relation. You attempt to heal Paris, but crash into the cruel reality of being unable to heal godmodders. Remember, once a godmodder loses HP, without attempting a heal at 1 HP, they can not gain it back, ever. Paris thanks you profusely for trying.

QUOTE (Revan @ (time=1481255075))

Ace buffs the Starwalker's defense by drawing a small circle around it with a stick, carving it into the ground. She then draws lines pointing to the Starwalker. The Starwalker looks upon it with slight awe as if these symbols were some ancient revelation bestowed upon them. "These are sigils designed to strengthen you, it should grant you enough strength to survive an onslaught. The Starwalker looks in awe at them and feels its power, such power granted from a few symbols... this woman must be some sort of magician or sorcerer. Ace hopes that Chaos Magic will pull through as the belief in the symbols make the symbols stronger which makes the ritual stronger. Her knowledge in sorcery was a bit lacking compared to her Teacher but this seemed basic enough and had worked well enough. (+1 from Sp33don) Starter Pack Armor 8/20 Regen 8/10 +1 to Sp33don and Hezetor

You successfully give the Starwalker defense, making incoming attacks deal less damage.

QUOTE (Hezetor @ (time=1481282781))

As Ramsey dies Hezetor says something about just wanting to wake him up, but he quickly realizes that there is no problem as Ace just created a picnic for him. He quickly sits on the blankets and starts to eat without really caring about what happens on the battlefield. After he unceremoniously devours a sandwich he tells Ace: Hezetor: I don't know anyone called "Pharaoh" so he probably meant someone else, because how could he talk about me if we never met? after drinking a glass of wine he continues Hezetor: and I don't have any clue about this "Alpha Godmodder" thing or how is called, but it surely sound tasty. After this he continues to eat his picnic for the remaining of his turn, acquiring energy, unless he is somewhat disturbed by some fool. 5/7 3/13 +2 from Revan +2 Revan

Vertex doesn't either, Heze.

QUOTE (Revan @ (time=1481287502))

/rp Ace shakes her head to Hezetor, "He just knows things, trust me on that. I guess you just must have been noteworthy or something." She looks at him again, even if he didn't know it he probably would want it.

I decide that I will take nullposts as time to tell tidbits of lore and anecdotes that are about to become relevant to your situation, or already are. For example, PanaceaQuest is a trainwreck and bullying is a bad thing to do to people, only more in depth.

QUOTE (TrickleJest @ (time=1481290662))

Whoopsies. Jest claims the +1 Paris gave him and the +1 he missed last round, and gives Sp33d a +2. (Sorry for the muck up) Jest appears angry as his thyme plan flopped. Miserably. Not to worry though. He always has a back up plan. If you've read my latest DLE dop you'd know Jest's origin story. But I'm not gonna explain it here, that post took way too long to make. Anywho, Jest isn't a normal being. He goes in the maniacal clown category with Tricky the Clown and Gamzee Makara. It's not that he's an actual clown, it's that he's honestly a pretty sore loser and only a clown metaphorically. Jest can't and won't stand Vertex stabbing him in his eye. Not that it matters. He stabs his other eye just for fun rendering him completely fucking blind. He then walks up to Vertex and asks her a riddle of sorts. "If two fat dogs are fighting for a biscuit, one with asthma and another with a cyan purse full of rotten yams, when will Starbucks close?" Vertex reminds Jest that random =/= funny. Now she really got him triggered. Jest full of pent up rage takes the pogo stick and hops to insane heights landing himself all the way on Mars, where he launches himself down on Vertex wearing those boots from Portal that stop fall damage or simply boots with Feather Falling 1,000,000. If that still doesn't do damage, it secretly turns out that Jest rubbed himself all over with petrol or gasoline for the American folk before he jumped down, meaning that Vertex is now covered in petrol. He then spreads the petrol around and lights it on fire putting Vertex in a giant fire inferno. He then proceeds to take another pogo stick and shove them both into Vertex's chest, nice and deep. He takes immense pleasure in the fact that Vertex is bleeding a lot right now, organs spilling out on the floor. He backs away to assure that she doesn't kill him. Vertex takes some time to realize what's happening and once she packs her shit together she sees Jest running full SANIC speed at her ass with spikes facing outside to make sure he doesn't get stabbed. He crashes into Vertex and makes her bleed a lot more. He doesn't take damage from the crash due to being covered in bubble wrap which as everybody knows is holy material. Jest then high kicks Vertex's head, smacking it on the floor and smearing her blood all over the ground. She's nicely laying on the ground now, and Jest takes that opportunity to nuke her with all his anger. "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!" He yells. Perplexed at the fact that Vertex is still alive, Jest goes deep underground and emerges with a shit ton of mole people that slowly chew on Vertex, eroding her flesh bit by bit. While Vertex is fighting off the moles, Jest does these actions at the same second using bullshit clown physics so Vertex doesn't notice. Firstly he ties Vertex up with duct tape. Then he puts rope around her neck. Lastly he pulls the rope with all his might choking Vertex. The moles keep eroding her flesh and bones while she's on the ground trying to release herself from the tape and rope. If Vertex is still magically alive Jest slices and dices her with a giant machete while she's releasing herself from the tape n' rope. Jest also cuts her head in half and gruesomely cuts her legs off. Neat. I'm not done yet though. Jest bashes a giant fucking hammer on Vertex. This all happens insanely quick so Vertex will probably get hit with at least one attack IT'S FUCKING RAW!!!: 5/10 (I also forgot to advance it last round cause I'm a dummy, so +1 from Paris, +1 from Sp33d, +1 from last round if it's allowed) IT'S FUCKING RAWER!!!: 3/25 (Same thing here) +2 to Sp33d0n

Vertex also has Feather Falling insert arbitrary number here, so goes to more painful option. She stares at you weirdly whilst you do so, but it appears she is perfectly fine with the attack. She has taken 3 damage and fallen back 4%, but she's perfectly fine with it, regenerating. Advancing it for rounds you've posted in and forgot to update is, advancing it for rounds you've skipped isn't.

Please also spoil NSFW text.

---

The Terror Starwalker steps forward, before Vertex lightly turns it around. Paris takes this point in time, whilst Vertex continually bleeds whilst still regenerating, to run forward, advancing the distance by 2%. She also +1s Ace and heals Battlefury to full. Vertex, being Vertex, teleports in front of her, and brings out a dagger, throwing it at Redstone. He dies. It turns around and strikes Jon, and then the Author, before returning to Vertex's hands. The darkness in her eyes grows, before leaking out, and choking the Starwalker. It is now Super Evasive.

You then hear the sound of a train incoming, skidding along the grass like it was rails. On the visible carriages, you see graffiti marking the train as a "Pain Train", and next to it, you see another mark next to it, marking "badfics incoming". The doors open, and out comes a girl in a set of robes forged of wood, curly brown hair flowing behind her, clearly freckled and wearing a pair of sunglasses, an abyssal energy cascading off it.

"Hey, Amy, how are you doing?"

"Fine, thank you."

She takes a step forward, and reality quakes, before standing up, a gauntlet forming on her arm. Well, guess who's next in Vertex's wildride. Meet Panacea, everyone. She screws with your statistics and heals.

---

The Battlefield:
Terrain: Plains.
Field Effects: None.
Thought of the Day: HERE COMES THE PAIN TRAIN
[ES] Battlefury: 20/20 HP
[ES] Jondanger: 10/20 HP
[ES] Revan/Ace: 20/20 HP
[ES] Redstone: 0/20 HP
[ES] Sp33d0n/The Author: 10/20 HP
[ES] Cyanogynist/Razihel: 10/20 HP
[ES] Engie: 20/20 HP
[ES] Jest: 10/20 HP

[N] Hezetor: 20/20 HP.

[ES] Terror Starwalker: 100/100 HP. Vaguely Defensive. Super Evasive. Dreamstepper: [1/2].

[PV] Cultist Jr.: 0/25,000 HP, Statued.
[PV] Panacea: 40,000/40,000 HP, ??? ATK. Statistics Modifier. Proficient at Healing. Heartbreaker: [0/2], Blasto: [0/3], Skitter: [0/3].

[GM] Paris: 9/10 HP.
[GM] Her Eminence Vertex: 44/50 HP.
Distance Escorted: 12%.

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 20:38:00

Ace realizes from the confused look on Hezetor and Vertex's face that she's lost both of them. She sighs and reaches into the picnic basket pulling put a beer, a tendril of code snakes around its neck and pops off the cap. Ace takes a sip and speaks,

"Like alpha as in like beginner level because it is the first lett- nevermind, I suppose I should listen to the Pharaoh and not use terminology that I don't get. What I'm saying is help us takedown Vertex and I can help you get stronger."

"Please."

She then realizes the threat of Panacea as that is probably going to be very bad for all of them and Ace has no intention of having heals be disrupted by some aggravating cape. She decides to deal with this situation as quickly as possible before this spirals out of control and everyone ends up with lots and lots of deadness. Panacea watches as Ace charges her, tendrils of code unfurling from her cloak and and poised to ready. They reach out and stab straight into Panacea. -0 damage. Wow, that was pathetic, I mean the kid should be strong enough to do a simple attack. Several of the tendrils lash out again, dealing 0 damage, for each strike. Zeros begin to swim around Panacea as Ace continually assaults her wth the code constructs as her sole weapon. More and more zeros continually drift around covering Pancea in them. Then the code tendrils split weaving through the holes in each zero, mummifying Panacea in strings of code. Ace chuckles faintly at her DOS attack denying Panacea the opportunity to act this turn.

"Well, that was fun."



Starter Pack Armor 12/20 (+1 from Sp33dy and +2 from Hez)

Regen 9/10

+1 to Dogman and Hez

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 21:32:00

I smash in Panacea's face with the Cultist Jr Statue, before reaching into her statbar and smashing up the "Stats Modifier" ever so slightly

2+ to revan


8/8 1+ from reveaann

omega kiwi 16,000/16,000
it's a kiwi.

with a katana

it's so sharp it cuts pieces of the damaged enemies stats off and absorbs them empowering the kiwi

which is to say it steals stats from it's target with each attack

ok this is stupid

the omega kiwi just stabs panacea

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 22:03:00

i throw an "oh no" at Panacea.

Originally posted on 2016-12-09 22:25:00