I fill the shield with holes from the plane. Some bullets go through and hit ashimar.

Originally posted on 2015-10-12 01:29:00

Control Core Weapons System - Railgun: 2/3
Orbital Reinforcements Drop - Technician: 2/4

An interdimensional idiot randomly takes a bite out of Nyan Cat after mistaking it's health bar as an indication that it was actually a pie.

Originally posted on 2015-10-12 01:42:00

Kingmaker 15/?

Kingmaker Two 15/?

So Nyan Cat has three health? I run right up to it, make sure I can't miss, then poke it strongly.



Originally posted on 2015-10-12 02:08:00

Wait how do you break shields again? Oh right, I've played the game before. I make Ashimar block so much and slash at his shield at that time.
Mega encases the Shello in a box, he drinks an instant healing potion before that.
MOMMY 1/10

Originally posted on 2015-10-12 03:37:00

QUOTE (Spinerator @ (time=1444609763))

I fill the shield with holes from the plane. Some bullets go through and hit ashimar.

Paradoxically blocked by the shield!

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1444610575))

Control Core Weapons System - Railgun: 2/3 Orbital Reinforcements Drop - Technician: 2/4 An interdimensional idiot randomly takes a bite out of Nyan Cat after mistaking it's health bar as an indication that it was actually a pie.

The interdimensional idiot is so dumb that he fails to even recognize that number as pi!

QUOTE (NumberSoup @ (time=1444612090))

Kingmaker 15/? Kingmaker Two 15/? So Nyan Cat has three health? I run right up to it, make sure I can't miss, then poke it strongly.

3 damage, exactly! This leaves NyanCat with 0.141592etc health!

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1444617441))

Wait how do you break shields again? Oh right, I've played the game before.  I make Ashimar block so much and slash at his shield at that time. Mega encases the Shello in a box, he drinks an instant healing potion before that. MOMMY 1/10

Shield broken! Ashimar is stunned for one turn! Whatever Shello is doing has been put off for one turn.

EOTB:
Ashimar is stunned! Hoopa summons a hoop that shoots a volley of psychic beams at NyanCat, confusing it so much that it fails to act! The Missile Launcher rains down missiles on Hoopa, but Hoopa portals them back, doing 7,000 damage to the Missile Launcher! The Chaingun fires at Ashimar and does 4,000 damage! Shello is trapped in a box.


THE BATTLEFIELD

Ashimar the Sorrowmaker: [DEATHLESS BOSS]. HP: 10,000/125,000.

Raven: [FG]. HP: 66/75.

Hoopa Confined: [PR]. HP: 732,000/775,000.

NyanCat: [POPTART]. HP: RAINBOWS!/CUPCAKES!. Constantly shifting HP and alignment.

Missile Launcher: [AR]. HP: 25,000/32,000.

Chaingun: [AR]. HP: 39,679/48,000.

Shello: [N]. HP: 0/10,000. Shaking violently.


Originally posted on 2015-10-19 22:01:00

Kingmaker 16/?

Kingmaker Two 16/?

No sense in delaying the inevitable, I stop anyone from doing anything to Shello.


Originally posted on 2015-10-19 22:24:00

The kerbal sends out a probe that shoots Ashimar. The attack is so weak that the probe just crashes into him.

Originally posted on 2015-10-20 01:15:00

K.I.N.G 2/10

Mega slam dunks Hoopa a hundred times.
Assuming that Ashimar is still alive, I stab him in the face. If he's dead and Raven's here, I force him to play through Mega Man 2 starting on Air Man's stage. WITHOUT GODMODDING OR ELSE THE TV WILL RAPE HIM. If neither are true, I use Firaga on Hoopa.

Originally posted on 2015-10-20 04:50:00

Control Core Weapons System - Railgun turret: 3/3
Railgun Turret: 24000/24000 HP
Orbital Reinforcements Drop - Technician: 3/4

The Control Core promptly runs Ashimar through with an oversized Halberd.

Originally posted on 2015-10-20 21:31:00

I Kill Ashimar

Originally posted on 2015-10-21 03:03:00

Geraldus 1/10
Rex Tres Maleficos 1/15

I warp into existence. Who am I? I literally have no idea. For all I know, I am the vaunted WAAlare WAArelye, though this is probably not the case. Anyhow, I grab some sort of cube of spells. By which I mean I form it with my mind, seeing as this is a doomed timeline without the usual methods of construction. This cube of spells, having just been forged from my will alone, happens to be nothing more than a cube of hollow hard-light containing an enchanted D6. I shake the cube around, looking in Ashimar's direction. The die rattles against the hard-light, settling down moments later. I peer into the cube, and use the roll to, by some cosmic happenstance, fire a bolt of pure Light energies at Ashimar. The essence of chance states my roll, unfortunately, was a two (feel free to reroll for me if you deign this impermissible, along with any other dice rolls).

As such, the golden bolt of light feebly sails toward Ashimar, striking it (or them), before exploding into splinters of pseudo-light, which fade away with the power of suggestion. The force of the bolt impacting Ashimar itself seems to have dealt the majority of the damage, if any. The spell cube in my hands explodes into a thousand shards of hard-light, and a single D6. I pick the thing up, before shrugging, and rolling it. This roll, however, results in a five. The shards of hard-light coagulate around Ashimar, forming a sort of net around it, before closing in, and attempting to crush it with whatever power a five has. The die itself implodes from the arcane stress. A shame.

Apologies for the small post (unless you want small posts, of course), but I had a time restriction. I'd like to see this through. It's an interesting concept which needs a bit of attention.

Originally posted on 2015-10-23 06:32:00

QUOTE (NumberSoup @ (time=1445289853))

Kingmaker 16/? Kingmaker Two 16/? No sense in delaying the inevitable, I stop anyone from doing anything to Shello.

Shello is protected!

QUOTE (Spinerator @ (time=1445300143))

The kerbal sends out a probe that shoots Ashimar. The attack is so weak that the probe just crashes into him.

4,000 damage!

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1445313001))

K.I.N.G 2/10 Mega slam dunks Hoopa a hundred times. Assuming that Ashimar is still alive, I stab him in the face. If he's dead and Raven's here, I force him to play through Mega Man 2 starting on Air Man's stage. WITHOUT GODMODDING OR ELSE THE TV WILL RAPE HIM. If neither are true, I use Firaga on Hoopa.

2,000 damage to Ashimar! 3,000 damage to Hoopa!

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1445373100))

Control Core Weapons System - Railgun turret: 3/3 Railgun Turret: 24000/24000 HP Orbital Reinforcements Drop - Technician: 3/4 The Control Core promptly runs Ashimar through with an oversized Halberd.

2,000 damage!

QUOTE (MooGoesCow21 @ (time=1445393027))

I Kill Ashimar

Ashimar points out that you never specified HOW you killed him.

QUOTE (Erelye @ (time=1445578330))

Geraldus 1/10 Rex Tres Maleficos 1/15 I warp into existence. Who am I? I literally have no idea. For all I know, I am the vaunted WAAlare WAArelye, though this is probably not the case. Anyhow, I grab some sort of cube of spells. By which I mean I form it with my mind, seeing as this is a doomed timeline without the usual methods of construction. This cube of spells, having just been forged from my will alone, happens to be nothing more than a cube of hollow hard-light containing an enchanted D6. I shake the cube around, looking in Ashimar's direction. The die rattles against the hard-light, settling down moments later. I peer into the cube, and use the roll to, by some cosmic happenstance, fire a bolt of pure Light energies at Ashimar. The essence of chance states my roll, unfortunately, was a two (feel free to reroll for me if you deign this impermissible, along with any other dice rolls). As such, the golden bolt of light feebly sails toward Ashimar, striking it (or them), before exploding into splinters of pseudo-light, which fade away with the power of suggestion. The force of the bolt impacting Ashimar itself seems to have dealt the majority of the damage, if any. The spell cube in my hands explodes into a thousand shards of hard-light, and a single D6. I pick the thing up, before shrugging, and rolling it. This roll, however, results in a five. The shards of hard-light coagulate around Ashimar, forming a sort of net around it, before closing in, and attempting to crush it with whatever power a five has. The die itself implodes from the arcane stress. A shame. Apologies for the small post (unless you want small posts, of course), but I had a time restriction. I'd like to see this through. It's an interesting concept which needs a bit of attention.

Ashimar KILLED! He drops his Spoil of War, the Infinity Cleaver! This is a mighty vampiric blade that can slay the immortal, but is rather unwieldy and has a large cooldown of four turns. Hoopa takes 50,000 damage as a consequence.

EOTB:
Ashimar collapses onto the glitchy battlefield, leaking Q.I.P. particles as Erelye wrests the Infinity Cleaver from his hands. Raven rematerializes.
RAVEN: I leave for a couple turns and THIS happens. Seriously, is anyone able to do anything productive without me? Whatever. It's time.
Raven gestures at Shello, who is levitating into the air with a green light.
RAVEN: You see, in order, to kill you, I need you to actually BE killable. Thanks to your own actions, a great release of power is occurring that will allow just that.
Shello's body is shining so much that you can't see the snail itself anymore, only a giant green ball of light.
RAVEN: But of course, the final piece to the puzzle is still needed.
Raven throws a metal rod at the light, where it spirals into the middle. A green light emanates from its tip, and then spirals out to circle the entire battlefield. The moon shakes and the heavens vibrate. Finally, a huge explosion of light fills your eyes. When it clears, Shello is gone.

You all look around to see what has changed. However, nothing seems to be wrong. Every part of you is functioning correctly... Suddenly, Raven teleports behind Mega and stabs him in the back. Mega slumps over, dead.

RAVEN: Be glad he was only a secondary character.

HOW THIS WORKS: Players are now vulnerable! Instead of having HP bars, players are still invincible normally, but as time goes by their hidden Integrity bar will naturally decrease due to the glitchy atmosphere. In addition, playing around with forces you don't understand may decrease it further. The lower your Integrity, the higher chance a given attack has of killing you. In addition, if your Integrity ever reaches zero, you will be killed instantly.
Luckily, there are ways to keep your Integrity up. For example, many healing-based maneuvers will raise your Integrity, and you can also repair your code to heal your own Integrity more. There are other ways to keep it up, but the downside is that I won't tell you when something works - you'll have to figure that out on your own based on death rates and such.
Respawning: If you die, you may respawn at the cost of your posts that turn. However, each time you respawn, your maximum Integrity drops. So you better try to survive, in general.

Finally, the Snail Shop is founded on the remains of Shello's shell. It's unclear what they sell, but if they ever get any wares, those snail points will come in handy.

THE BATTLEFIELD

Raven: [FG]. HP: 66/75.

Hoopa Confined: [PR]. HP: 669,000/775,000.

NyanCat: [KITTIES]. HP: cat/cat. Constantly shifting HP and alignment.

Missile Launcher: [AR]. HP: 25,000/32,000.

Chaingun: [AR]. HP: 39,679/48,000.

THE SNAIL SHOP
Wares: None Yet

Originally posted on 2015-10-30 21:14:00

Kingmaker 17/?

Kingmaker Two 17/?

Cat divided by cat is just one, so I once again poke Nyan Cat strongly.

+1 Erelye

Originally posted on 2015-10-30 21:56:00

Geraldus 2/10
Rex Tres Maleficos 3/15 (+1 from Fseftr)

+1 to Fseftr.

I handle the Infinity Cleaver for a few moments, before hiding it away in my inventory.

Then, I proceed to glare at Hoopa Confined. This thing is likely to become rather nasty in whatever time it takes to become Hoopa Unbound. As such, I prepare an attempt to destroy it with only the most powerful of methods.

Crimson shellfish, that is.

I wave an arm through the air, and an excessive amount of molten iron drips from a point in space behind me. I extend my left hand outward, and wait. The molten liquid levitates upward in the air, and slowly forms an iron staff of some description. Without an ounce of hesitation, it lands in my outstretched fingers. The head of the stave depicts what appears to be a mixture of a crayfish and a gargoyle. The gaping mouth of the depiction is empty for a few more seconds, until a crimson gem warps into existence within it, shining, a scarlet fury in an ocean of dark iron.

I proceed to spin the staff around in my hands, feeling the surprisingly light weight of the iron thing in my grip. The mouth of the head atop the staff begins to drip with a glowing scarlet fluid. A quick examination shows that it is indeed blood of some sort. I hasten my attack. I raise the arcane artifact in my hands to the sky, and mutter a phrase of remarkable antiquity.

CALMACIL: Glaaki-tleoa g'ooboshu. R'luhs'uhn wgah'n-y'ei.

A red spark glints in the sky above Hoopa Confined, coinciding with the flashing of the crystal within the stave in my hands. A whirling portal of thick red smog obscures the pinprick of energy in the sky, spreading across all of the visible land without cessation. Shapes begin to twist and turn about in the nightmarish clouds.

I swipe the staff in hand downwards, the thing arcing with my movements, darkness trailing behind it. The shapes become painfully apparent.

They are all crayfish.

In moments, it becomes clear what is occurring. The crimson crayfish armed forces immediately strap on their parachutes, and drop down on the world. Hundreds of millions of crayfish soldiers land around Hoopa Confined, pulling out rifles and machine weapons immediately. Suddenly, the deafening noise of millions of bullets being fired assaults the eardrums of any nearby. The crawfish army fights in the name of their lord Darnalucus, spraying innumerable bullets, energy bursts, and waves of radiation upon Hoopa. I aid in the efforts, firing a blast of crimson energy into Hoopa.

Moments later, the army begins to advance, pinning the entity down with the excessive fire. They form circles around Hoopa Confined, just as the crayfish air force up in the clouds begins to drop explosives down on the entity. Hoopa likely realizes the only true hope it has. Tunneling. As such, it either does so, or does not, and is overwhelmed.

However, if Hoopa begins to tunnel away, the crimson shellfish soldiers begin to throw grenades into the tunnels, that foul red smog filling the place, choking Hoopa Confined out. A brave group of crayfish is selected to lead the charge inward, donning gas masks. I watch on in amusement, and interest.

The three shellfish in the lead march in, guns loaded. Hundreds follow. The next thing anyone can hear is excessive gunfire, explosions, gas being exuded from the tunnels, and what appears to be a sword-wrought decapitation. Minutes later, the host crawls back out, all involved haggard and bowed with fatigue. With them they carry Hoopa Confined. They twist the body slightly, and the head drops to the ground, useless.

The shellfish soldiers all salute me as they climb aboard helicopters, and fly back into the eye of the red smog, along with the remainder of the air force. The smog flows back from whence it came, and the last traces of the crimson shellfish are finally eradicated.

Originally posted on 2015-10-30 23:11:00

"Mom" 3/10

I absorb what is left of Mega's essence. I then direct it to Raven as Anti-Raven and Godmodder Essence. I then use the tiny bit of what is left to heal me.

Originally posted on 2015-10-31 15:01:00

Was hoping for more than three posts... Update tonight or tomorrow.

Originally posted on 2015-11-04 01:29:00

Orbital Reinforcements Drop - Technician: 4/4

Technician: 15000/15000 (Can repair Control Core Weapons System type allies)

Also, the Control Core promptly smacks Hoopa with a ghost. Somehow.

Originally posted on 2015-11-04 02:11:00

Eh, it will have to do. Not sure I can continue like this, though.

QUOTE (NumberSoup @ (time=1446242202))

Kingmaker 17/? Kingmaker Two 17/? Cat divided by cat is just one, so I once again poke Nyan Cat strongly. +1 Erelye

Cat is not a number of any standard type, so this fails.

QUOTE (Erelye @ (time=1446246717))

Geraldus 2/10 Rex Tres Maleficos 3/15 (+1 from Fseftr) +1 to Fseftr. I handle the Infinity Cleaver for a few moments, before hiding it away in my inventory. Then, I proceed to glare at Hoopa Confined. This thing is likely to become rather nasty in whatever time it takes to become Hoopa Unbound. As such, I prepare an attempt to destroy it with only the most powerful of methods. Crimson shellfish, that is. I wave an arm through the air, and an excessive amount of molten iron drips from a point in space behind me. I extend my left hand outward, and wait. The molten liquid levitates upward in the air, and slowly forms an iron staff of some description. Without an ounce of hesitation, it lands in my outstretched fingers. The head of the stave depicts what appears to be a mixture of a crayfish and a gargoyle. The gaping mouth of the depiction is empty for a few more seconds, until a crimson gem warps into existence within it, shining, a scarlet fury in an ocean of dark iron. I proceed to spin the staff around in my hands, feeling the surprisingly light weight of the iron thing in my grip. The mouth of the head atop the staff begins to drip with a glowing scarlet fluid. A quick examination shows that it is indeed blood of some sort. I hasten my attack. I raise the arcane artifact in my hands to the sky, and mutter a phrase of remarkable antiquity. CALMACIL: Glaaki-tleoa g'ooboshu. R'luhs'uhn wgah'n-y'ei. A red spark glints in the sky above Hoopa Confined, coinciding with the flashing of the crystal within the stave in my hands. A whirling portal of thick red smog obscures the pinprick of energy in the sky, spreading across all of the visible land without cessation. Shapes begin to twist and turn about in the nightmarish clouds. I swipe the staff in hand downwards, the thing arcing with my movements, darkness trailing behind it. The shapes become painfully apparent. They are all crayfish. In moments, it becomes clear what is occurring. The crimson crayfish armed forces immediately strap on their parachutes, and drop down on the world. Hundreds of millions of crayfish soldiers land around Hoopa Confined, pulling out rifles and machine weapons immediately. Suddenly, the deafening noise of millions of bullets being fired assaults the eardrums of any nearby. The crawfish army fights in the name of their lord Darnalucus, spraying innumerable bullets, energy bursts, and waves of radiation upon Hoopa. I aid in the efforts, firing a blast of crimson energy into Hoopa. Moments later, the army begins to advance, pinning the entity down with the excessive fire. They form circles around Hoopa Confined, just as the crayfish air force up in the clouds begins to drop explosives down on the entity. Hoopa likely realizes the only true hope it has. Tunneling. As such, it either does so, or does not, and is overwhelmed. However, if Hoopa begins to tunnel away, the crimson shellfish soldiers begin to throw grenades into the tunnels, that foul red smog filling the place, choking Hoopa Confined out. A brave group of crayfish is selected to lead the charge inward, donning gas masks. I watch on in amusement, and interest. The three shellfish in the lead march in, guns loaded. Hundreds follow. The next thing anyone can hear is excessive gunfire, explosions, gas being exuded from the tunnels, and what appears to be a sword-wrought decapitation. Minutes later, the host crawls back out, all involved haggard and bowed with fatigue. With them they carry Hoopa Confined. They twist the body slightly, and the head drops to the ground, useless. The shellfish soldiers all salute me as they climb aboard helicopters, and fly back into the eye of the red smog, along with the remainder of the air force. The smog flows back from whence it came, and the last traces of the crimson shellfish are finally eradicated.

I don't think you understand how Hoopa's portals work. They are not tunnels into a different place, but rather portals that can operate instantaneously. As such, Hoopa opens a portal to Limbo, purposefully leaving it open as he enters. When the crimson shellfish follow Hoopa, he terminates that portal and opens another one back, immediately closing it as he exits it. A single shellfish manages to dart through before the portal closes and does 4,000 damage to Hoopa, but the rest are sealed in Limbo.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1446303697))

"Mom" 3/10 I absorb what is left of Mega's essence. I then direct it to Raven as Anti-Raven and Godmodder Essence. I then use the tiny bit of what is left to heal me.

1 damage to Raven!

QUOTE (engie @ (time=1446603085))

Orbital Reinforcements Drop - Technician: 4/4 Technician: 15000/15000 (Can repair Control Core Weapons System type allies) Also, the Control Core promptly smacks Hoopa with a ghost. Somehow.

Technician summoned! Doubly super effective 8,000 damage to Hoopa!

EOTB:
The Snail Shop buys a few wares!
The Missile Launcher blasts Hoopa for 4,000 damage! The Chaingun tries to do the same, but some of the bullets are portaled back, doing 2,000 damage to Hoopa and 3,000 to the Chaingun! The Technician fixes up the Missile Launcher for 3,000 HP! Raven surrounds engie with a green energy field, weakening his Integrity! Hoopa summons a Snow Golem! NyanCat CATIFIES the Missile Launcher, making its next attack cat-related!

THE BATTLEFIELD

Raven: [FG]. HP: 65/75.

Hoopa Confined: [PR]. HP: 651,000/775,000.

Snow Golem: [PR]. HP: 5,000/5,000.

NyanCat: [POKEMEFSEFTR]. HP: 1/1. Constantly shifting HP and alignment.

Missile Launcher: [AR]. HP: 28,000/32,000. Catified.

Chaingun: [AR]. HP: 36,679/48,000.

Technician: [AR]. HP: 15,000/15,000.

THE SNAIL SHOP
Wares: Snail Helmet [1 Snail Point]


Originally posted on 2015-11-04 14:04:00

"Mom" 4/10

I attach a chunk of metal to me, cause, you know, I'm a robot. I then launch it at Nyan Cat.


Originally posted on 2015-11-04 15:57:00

Kingmaker 19/? Erelye

Kingmaker Two 18/?

+1 Erelye

I ask whoever is attending the shop how to get snail points.

Originally posted on 2015-11-04 20:48:00