QUOTE (JOEbob @ May 20 2020, 06:41 PM)

[1x] I walk back to the dark spot in the bog, healing myself as I go. [1x] since I participated in killing the treasuREEEEto, I think I deserve some of the credit for that. maybe even all the credit? anyway even some of the credit means I should get XP. and I only need 2 more XP to level up. so I do that. [1x] I begin to prepare a simple and fairly temporary magical array around the Dark Spot in the bog, to hold down and weaken the next thing to come out of it. It's only 20% cleansed, and I don't want to deal with four more treasuREEEEtos.

You heal yourself some!

You charge 1 CP, since you will earn EXP in the EoTB.

You begin preparing a Temporary Magical Array. 1 of 3 mana points allocated so far.

EoTB:

All players who participated in the boss fight earn 10 XP!

[Anti-Nolucferu Entities]


Most of the entities idle. The Dog Mobster grabs the RING OF KEYS and lets loose a couple rounds of tommy gun fire at the Elite Bog Monsters.


[Pro-Nolucferu Forces]


The Elite Bog Monsters decide it’s time to start stepping up their game. The two in the Left Bog start slashing at the Spirk, while the pair in the Bog Entrance kill the Dog Mobster, which survived for a surprisingly long time. The overkill damage deals 5 damage to Splashcat.

A robed man walks into the bog entrance, "Hm, it is odd that the force draining positive fortune lives through here. Unless it feeds off of it, one would presume the place would be more cheerful. Nevertheless, I should likely press onwards and try to learn the source of this issue. Cryos!"
The last word appears to have been a spell, as he reaches out a hand, and a blast of icy wind slams into the undamaged Bog Monster, draining the heat right from it, and turning the water on and around it to solid ice fairly rapidly, beyond the likely unpleasant results for its health. He then notices the others. "Hm, are you fellow travelers as well? Are you hunting whatever is absorbing fortune as well?"

QUOTE (Ender_Smirk @ Jun 17 2020, 02:22 AM)

A robed man walks into the bog entrance, "Hm, it is odd that the force draining positive fortune lives through here. Unless it feeds off of it, one would presume the place would be more cheerful. Nevertheless, I should likely press onwards and try to learn the source of this issue. Cryos!" The last word appears to have been a spell, as he reaches out a hand, and a blast of icy wind slams into the undamaged Bog Monster, draining the heat right from it, and turning the water on and around it to solid ice fairly rapidly, beyond the likely unpleasant results for its health. He then notices the others. "Hm, are you fellow travelers as well? Are you hunting whatever is absorbing fortune as well?"

You freeze an Elite Bog Mobster! It dies of [Frostbite] damage!

EoTB:


You hear some vague creaking noises up ahead. Cattail Glade and Gnarled Oak have opened up.

[Anti-Nolucferu Entities]


All the entities don’t do anything. JOE’s entities snowball.


[Pro-Nolucferu Forces]


The two Elite Bog Monsters in the Left Bog wail on the Comically Oversized Mousetrap, freeing their brethren! (With less HP.)

The remaining Elite Bog Monster kills one of SirNatureWriter’s Fire Fledglings!

An ominous buzzing noise is heard from the Gnarled Oak.

[0x?] I put another 2 mana into the Array.
[1x] I stab the elite bog monsters. they have attacked spirks, so they broke the law (of joebobia, which has only the law of 'don't do things joebob doesn't want'), so as soon as my dagger enters their torso, they implode violently from the justice damage boost.
[1x] I then freeze the ground around any remaining elites with a few points of Mana, trapping them in place.
[1x]I patch up my wounds.
Entity orders: any entities with foes in the zone, attack those foes and run.
other then that... Bogomancer, boost of the bog on your mana regen, or something?

*YAWN* Ugh, it's terribly humid out here. Wait, did I fall asleep?
After being asleep/idle for between a minute and half a year, depending on your perspective, I finally awaken to find one of my Fire Fledglings gravely wounded/dead/idkhowthehealthsystemworks, and most of the monsters that were incoming defeated.

"Dammit, that's some pretty tough luck. I mean, we are fighting a guy whose name is a play on No Luck for You, so I shouldn't be surprised.

Anyways, using all three actions, I use my pyromaniac powers for something other than damage, fanning the flames to both empower and heal my two Fire Fledglings. (1 action healing, 1 CP toward XP each).

Entity Orders: The wounded Fire Fledgling basks by the fire to regain strength and gain new strength. The unwounded Fire Fledgling uses his fiery feather coat to set the final remaining Bog Monster ablaze.

The robed man continues his trek through the bog, going slightly to the left as he does so. He soon finds the group of monsters fighting other creatures, and after thinking a moment, yells out "Blizz!" This time, instead of making any direct damage, it seemingly makes the entire nearby area colder, and snow begins to fall rapidly, quickly turning into a miniature blizzard that begins to chill the bog monsters nearby.

RIP Dog Mobster, I hardly knew ye. I bury him next to his favourite bone.

Action 1: Seeing as I am located in the Bog En*trance*, I should easily be able to enter a trance. I meditate, and direct my life energy to heal my wounds.

Action 2: SirNatureWriter seems to have this side of the Bog's Elite Bog Monster taken care of, so I head over to the Left Bog and TOTALLY PWN an Elite Bog Mobster with my 1337 H4XX0R SK1LLZ.

Action 3: Due to a clerical error, one of the Elite Bog Monsters actually spawned in as an Elite Bog Munster. I eat the cheese to restore HP.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ Jun 20 2020, 07:38 PM)

[0x?] I put another 2 mana into the Array. [1x] I stab the elite bog monsters. they have attacked spirks, so they broke the law (of joebobia, which has only the law of 'don't do things joebob doesn't want'), so as soon as my dagger enters their torso, they implode violently from the justice damage boost. [1x] I then freeze the ground around any remaining elites with a few points of Mana, trapping them in place. [1x]I patch up my wounds. Entity orders: any entities with foes in the zone, attack those foes and run. other then that... Bogomancer, boost of the bog on your mana regen, or something?

Stabbity Stab Stab. 6+3 damage!
You stun the remaining Elite Bog Monsters! They will no longer be able to move!
You heal yourself.

QUOTE (SirNatureWriter @ Jun 20 2020, 08:11 PM)

*YAWN* Ugh, it's terribly humid out here. Wait, did I fall asleep? After being asleep/idle for between a minute and half a year, depending on your perspective, I finally awaken to find one of my Fire Fledglings gravely wounded/dead/idkhowthehealthsystemworks, and most of the monsters that were incoming defeated. "Dammit, that's some pretty tough luck. I mean, we are fighting a guy whose name is a play on No Luck for You, so I shouldn't be surprised. Anyways, using all three actions, I use my pyromaniac powers for something other than damage, fanning the flames to both empower and heal my two Fire Fledglings. (1 action healing, 1 CP toward XP each). Entity Orders: The wounded Fire Fledgling basks by the fire to regain strength and gain new strength. The unwounded Fire Fledgling uses his fiery feather coat to set the final remaining Bog Monster ablaze.

You heal your Fire Fledglings!

QUOTE (Ender_Smirk @ Jun 22 2020, 03:40 PM)

The robed man continues his trek through the bog, going slightly to the left as he does so. He soon finds the group of monsters fighting other creatures, and after thinking a moment, yells out "Blizz!" This time, instead of making any direct damage, it seemingly makes the entire nearby area colder, and snow begins to fall rapidly, quickly turning into a miniature blizzard that begins to chill the bog monsters nearby.

You level up by casting Blizzard and defeating those Bog Monsters along with JOE! You now have skill points to use!

QUOTE (Splashcat @ Jun 22 2020, 03:56 PM)

RIP Dog Mobster, I hardly knew ye. I bury him next to his favourite bone. Action 1: Seeing as I am located in the Bog En*trance*, I should easily be able to enter a trance. I meditate, and direct my life energy to heal my wounds. Action 2: SirNatureWriter seems to have this side of the Bog's Elite Bog Monster taken care of, so I head over to the Left Bog and TOTALLY PWN an Elite Bog Mobster with my 1337 H4XX0R SK1LLZ. Action 3: Due to a clerical error, one of the Elite Bog Monsters actually spawned in as an Elite Bog Munster. I eat the cheese to restore HP.

The Dog Monster barks, seemingly alive and well! It appears that when entities run out of HP, any more damage they take will soak into your own HP!

You defeat one Elite Bog Munster and an Elite Bog Monster!

You heal yourself!



EoTB:


[Anti-Nolucferu Entities]


All of JOE’s entities team up to stab people a lot! JOE earns lots of EXP!

The Dog Mobster idles.

[Pro-Nolucferu Forces]


The buzzing grows louder. Suddenly, a group of six Bee Gremlins burst out into the Bog Beyond! They all sting Torix! Torix is on 2 HP!

I should get back to the action soon.
But I also really need to level up my Fire Fledglings first.

Action 1&2: Churg for XP.
Action 3: 1 XP to each Fire Fledgling.

[1x] I decide to conserve mana a little, creating an illusion. now each bee gremlin sees me and torrix as allied bee gremlins, while seeing the other bee gremlins as evil gremlin-hating monsters which are Delicious to make honey out of! They'll sting themselves to death! the transition is covered by a flash of light.
[1x]I enhance the illusion with a 'Daze' spell on the group of gremlins, lowering their ability to consider how odd it is that their allies dropped to two and enemies rose to 5 for no known reason.
[1x] I then pat the Bogomancer Buddy on the head. This somehow grants them an MHP-snowballing effect like some of my other entities. it's magic! except it can't be magic because it used no mana. It's science? I guess? sure, whatever.

Entity Orders:
Spirk and Bogomancer, flee away to the right bog! Bog Bruiser, head to the Right Bog! Bogomancer, use Boost of the Bog on the Bog Bruiser's Stamina! Bog blobbies, tend to the ambulatory moss to increase its current HP! Priest, worship at the temple with the helicopto!

The Dog Mobster, unfortunately, has already been buried. But that's no problem: Dogs can dig. He burrows over to the Bog Beyond, tunnels underneath the Bee Gremlins, and drags one down to an early grave as he emerges from the ground himself.

I head over to the Bog Beyond.

Action 1: I activate The Gilderoy, upgrading the Dog Mobster by purchasing him the best doggie mafioso health insurance plan on the market. From bullet wounds to sleeping with the fishes, its coverage is comprehensive. Mechanically, this grants him however much HP regeneration 3 CP is worth.

Action 2: Torix was injured by "bee stings." I extract two e's and a t from the stings, leaving behind "b sings." A choir rings out, singing the note B, and Torix's injuries fade.

Action 3: I use the t and the e's to make a tee, which I put underneath a Bee Gremlin. Then I take out a baseball bat and hit it for a home run.

The robed man begins a long incantation. As he speaks it, various materials begin to flow from his surroundings. Sand floats from the bottom of the bog, which swiftly gets melted into glass, which is formed into all manner of beakers. Stone flows from deeper down, and forms three disks of rock that hover just above the surface of the water. Smaller stones flow together into a fine chalk that then marks itself on top of one of the stones, forming a circle, a star, and a pentagon at the center, creating an optimal magic circle. Wood from nearby trees seem to twist and bend, forming two desks, one on each of the remaining disks, with the beakers setting themselves gently upon one of them. On the other, a stack of papers is formed from some of the other wood, and a single flask is set there. Then, liquids from further off, some from the swamp itself, some from nearby rivers, and some from even the nearest ocean, flow into some of the various flasks and beakers. It appears the flask on the desk with paper houses squid ink now. Lastly, wax from the nearest beehive flows into candles in strategic locations of the magic circle, alongside wicks made from nearby hairs, and a single feather from a nearby bird flutters down, and sharpens into a quill as it comes to rest in the flask of ink.

QUOTE (SirNatureWriter @ Jun 27 2020, 06:01 PM)

I should get back to the action soon. But I also really need to level up my Fire Fledglings first. Action 1&2: Churg for XP. Action 3: 1 XP to each Fire Fledgling.

Charg!

QUOTE (JOEbob @ Jun 27 2020, 09:10 PM)

[1x] I decide to conserve mana a little, creating an illusion. now each bee gremlin sees me and torrix as allied bee gremlins, while seeing the other bee gremlins as evil gremlin-hating monsters which are Delicious to make honey out of! They'll sting themselves to death! the transition is covered by a flash of light. [1x]I enhance the illusion with a 'Daze' spell on the group of gremlins, lowering their ability to consider how odd it is that their allies dropped to two and enemies rose to 5 for no known reason. [1x] I then pat the Bogomancer Buddy on the head. This somehow grants them an MHP-snowballing effect like some of my other entities. it's magic! except it can't be magic because it used no mana. It's science? I guess? sure, whatever. Entity Orders: Spirk and Bogomancer, flee away to the right bog! Bog Bruiser, head to  the Right Bog! Bogomancer, use Boost of the Bog on the Bog Bruiser's Stamina! Bog blobbies, tend to the ambulatory moss to increase its current HP! Priest, worship at the temple with the helicopto!

You create an illusion, and then cast Daze on the bee gremlins!

The Bogomancer Buddy’s MHP already snowballs, so you just charge 1 CP!

QUOTE (Splashcat @ Jun 27 2020, 10:02 PM)

The Dog Mobster, unfortunately, has already been buried. But that's no problem: Dogs can dig. He burrows over to the Bog Beyond, tunnels underneath the Bee Gremlins, and drags one down to an early grave as he emerges from the ground himself. I head over to the Bog Beyond. Action 1: I activate The Gilderoy, upgrading the Dog Mobster by purchasing him the best doggie mafioso health insurance plan on the market. From bullet wounds to sleeping with the fishes, its coverage is comprehensive. Mechanically, this grants him however much HP regeneration 3 CP is worth. Action 2: Torix was injured by "bee stings." I extract two e's and a t from the stings, leaving behind "b sings." A choir rings out, singing the note B, and Torix's injuries fade. Action 3: I use the t and the e's to make a tee, which I put underneath a Bee Gremlin. Then I take out a baseball bat and hit it for a home run.

You use the Gilderoy to give the Dog Mobster HP regen!

You heal Torix!

You create a tee and then hit a Bee Gremlin with a baseball bat! But, that’s not how golf is pla-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

YES, IT IS I! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WALUIGI! AND I AM HERE BECAUSE I HAVE JUST DETECTED AN OPENING MOVE FROM THE GREAT SPORT KNOWN ONLY AS PARADOX GOLF! AS SUCH, I HAVE APPEARED TO CHALLENGE THESE LUCKY DESCENDANTS TO A GAME!

THE RULES ARE SIMPLE! YOU CAN USE ANY CLUBS YOU WANT, EXCLUDING YOUR HANDS! THE ONLY RESTRICTIONS INVOLVE BALLS! YOU CANNOT USE BALLS THAT AUTOMATICALLY FLY TO THE HOLE FOR YOU! WHEN A BALL LANDS, YOU MUST HIT IT FROM WHERE IT LANDS! NO MOVING THE BALLS, EXCEPT WHEN YOU HIT IT WITH YOUR CHOICE OF CLUB! YOU CANNOT CHANGE BALLS IN THE MIDDLE OF A HOLE! BEFORE YOU HIT YOUR BALL INITIALLY, YOU CAN CHOOSE WHERE TO TEE OFF FROM, BUT IT MUST BE OF A SIMILAR DISTANCE TO EVERYONE ELSE’S TEEING PLACE, AND YOU CANNOT MOVE ZONES BEFORE YOU TEE OFF! ALL THE OTHER RULES ARE THE SAME AS OTHER PARADOX SPORTS!

BUT WAIT, WHAT’S THIS? IT IS SOMEONE WHO HAS THE NARRATIVE SIGNATURE OF WALUIGI’S ARCH-ENEMY, THE JOEBOB! AS SUCH, THIS IS THE ULTIMATE PARADOX GRUDGE MATCH!

IF YOU WIN, WALUIGI SHALL GIVE YOU SOME OF HIS PRECIOUS AND POTENT WALUIGI THYME! AS SUCH, THE GAME IS ALREADY IN PLAY! WALUIGI SHALL MAKE HIS OPENING MOVE NOW!

WALUIGI TAKES OUT A VERY SPECIAL BALL! IT IS A CAGE BALL, HOLDING A QUEEN WALUBEEGI! THE ENTRANCES AND EXITS OF THE BALL ARE STOPPED UP WITH CANDY! WALUIGI SHALL WAIT FOR YOUR LAST FRIEND TO USE HIS ACTIONS BEFORE HE TEES OFF!

QUOTE (Ender_Smirk @ Jun 28 2020, 04:15 PM)

The robed man begins a long incantation. As he speaks it, various materials begin to flow from his surroundings. Sand floats from the bottom of the bog, which swiftly gets melted into glass, which is formed into all manner of beakers. Stone flows from deeper down, and forms three disks of rock that hover just above the surface of the water. Smaller stones flow together into a fine chalk that then marks itself on top of one of the stones, forming a circle, a star, and a pentagon at the center, creating an optimal magic circle. Wood from nearby trees seem to twist and bend, forming two desks, one on each of the remaining disks, with the beakers setting themselves gently upon one of them. On the other, a stack of papers is formed from some of the other wood, and a single flask is set there. Then, liquids from further off, some from the swamp itself, some from nearby rivers, and some from even the nearest ocean, flow into some of the various flasks and beakers. It appears the flask on the desk with paper houses squid ink now. Lastly, wax from the nearest beehive flows into candles in strategic locations of the magic circle, alongside wicks made from nearby hairs, and a single feather from a nearby bird flutters down, and sharpens into a quill as it comes to rest in the flask of ink.

You create the Magic-User’s Tridisk Setup!

NOW, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WALUIGI WILL MAKE HIS MOVE!

WALUIGI DRAGS THE WIZARD OVER TO THE BOG BEYOND! THERE, HE TAKES THE CAGE BALL, SETS IT ON THE MAGICAL CIRCLE, AND TEES OFF WITH WALUIGI’S BANGOLFCLUB! THE BALL FLIES INTO THE GNARLED OAK ZONE!

WELL, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! A HOLE IN WAAAAA! WALUIGI WILL NOW REVEAL THE PURPOSE OF THE CAGE BALL!

YOU SEE, IN THE GNARLED OAK ZONE, THERE IS A GIANT BEEHIVE THAT IS PRODUCING BEE GREMLINS! AND THE HOLE HAPPENS TO BE THE HOLE THAT IS ON THE FRONT OF THE BEEHIVE! THE BEES HAVE ACCEPTED THE QUEEN WALUBEEGI AS THEIR NEW QUEEN, AND NOW WALUIGI HAS CONTROL OF ALL THE BEES THE HIVE PRODUCES!


At this point, the Nolucferu materializes in the Bog Beyond.

Nolucferu: Okay, who summoned Waluigi, man?
Nolucferu: Totally bogue.
Nolucferu: But you know what’s more bogue? Mind-controlling my entities.

OH YES! AND IF YOU WIN, WALUIGI WILL DEAL A FREE POINT OF NOLUCFERU DAMAGE FOR YOU!

NOLUCFERU HP: 110/120

EoTB:

[WAAAAA]

The Bee Gremlins hover menacingly.


[Anti-Nolucferu Entities]

The Dog Mobster takes out a Bee Gremlin!
JOE’s entities do all that stuff he told them to do.


[Pro-Nolucferu Forces]

"BUT WAIT, WHAT’S THIS? IT IS SOMEONE WHO HAS THE NARRATIVE SIGNATURE OF WALUIGI’S ARCH-ENEMY, THE JOEBOB! AS SUCH, THIS IS THE ULTIMATE PARADOX GRUDGE MATCH!"
...Arch-Enemy? that's odd. I consider myself a staunch ally/business partner/corporate shill of Waluigi! More specifically, the Waluigii of [W]AAaaa Industries. Other Waluigi are fair game, but I'd still never interact with them Violently or anything like that, so at most I would consider them friendly rivals.
[1x] I choose a very special club. I call it the C.L.U.B.E.D, or ContingentLy Unrepentantly Brilliant Eigenclubbing Distributed club. the acronym could use some work. It's a swarm of distributed Mana-linked drones with hyper-sharp blades, storage compartments, helicopter blades for flight, internal compartments, and the ability to burst into flames. When I swing the C.L.U.B.E.D. at my ball- an ordinary tennis ball except that it will make anyone not allied to me burst into flames on contact-, they slice it into thousands of tiny pieces, place each piece in a different drones subcompartment, and swarm the hole. as a last resort, the backline drone, which has as much ball-mass as every other drone combined, can detonate to turn the ball-pieces into a fine mist which will settle everywhere.
This is allowed because it is the Club which is doing the manipulation, technically as part of the swing.
[1x] golf is kind of like tennis. I quickly construct a circular net around myself, which only has a tiny amount of room not filled by my body. if the ball lands on the other side of that net, bounces, then lands again, then per Tennis's rules, I have scored a point or 15. A tennis point or 15, anyway; obviously different games have seperate scoring, or everyone would start with 8000 points from YuGiOh and the best way to win at Golf would be to repeatedly punch yourself in the face until you lose a few thousand Life Points.
constructing a circular net around myself to turn this into Tennis Golf is valid because all the other rules are like other paradox games. such as the ability to bring in new games.

[1x] I reinforce the Mana Array further.

[0x] Oh heyo nolucferu. If you're angry at someone for mind controlling entities, pick Waluigi. I only took people who were otherwise dead.

A portal opens near the battlefield, and out steps Sky High. Almost immediately, he's nearly hit by Waluigi's opening stroke, and stumbles backward. Regardless, he's here, and totally unprepared for a game of Paradox Golf.

Ah, but he's not the only one around!

What, noYES! I had uncapitalized teleport into the Metaspace and override your control! Now I can do whatever Istop want!

First of all, let's decide on a faction. I, for one, am a fan of not picking any sides! Oh, but where are my manners? Name's T, but you can call me Thor. Or Todd. Or even Teresa. I don't care enough to care!

Now then, here's what I'm going to do with my first action.

I decide to join the game of Paradox Golf. Love a good round. I then summon the Ace of Clubs, a golf club that always makes it so that the ball you hit lands directly in the hole. After all, there's no rule against CLUBS that make the ball fly directly into the hole. As for my ball, for this hole I pick the T-ball, a ball which splits into two upon hitting something other than a golf club. I will be teeing off at the same location as Waluigi did.

The Ace of Clubs takes twenty minutes to scan its environment, after which it instructs me to launch a drive directly away from the hole. I do so, and the ball hits a tree and splits into two. The first one bounces off a few more trees, then it bounces off a Bee Gremlin's head and lands in the hole. Hole in one! Then, a few seconds later, the other ball flies out of the woods at high speeds after having crashed into an experimental laboratory where they were testing an uber-powerful fan. Because of the fan, the other T-ball travels at high speeds, hits the beehive, spins around in it for a while, and flies out just before losing the last of its momentum, landing directly in the hole. By doing so, I have just completed a hole-in-one twice on one hole, making my score twice that of Waluigi's!


Here's what I'm going to do with my second action.

There's still the problem of Sky High being here. I believe he nearly got in the way of the second T-ball shot. As such, I decide to use magic to turn Sky High into a golf course. As he expands and stretches to the size of one, I use uncapitalized's presence in the Metagame to turn Sky High's now large body into the OFFICIAL second hole. I then lay Sky High's large body down in the middle of a nearby plain, and create a golf hole in the middle of Sky High's forehead. This hole will be hard to land because the hole is in Sky High's forehead and his entire body slopes away from said forehead, with some exceptions. However, it's worth noting that other than slight movement that skin would make anyways, Sky High will not move. Par is 10 on this course.


Last up, it's my third action.

I choose a different ball for this course, because there is no rule against choosing balls between courses. This ball is the Sloperunner ball. It treats every slope as a gentle downward one, which means it will roll forward even if it would defy the laws of physics with ONE exception: If it lands in a golf hole, it stops rolling. I continue to use the Ace of Clubs.

I choose to tee off a few meters away from the soles of Sky High's feet. The Ace of Clubs scans its surroundings, this time for only five minutes. It tells me to chip as straight as possible and land on the chest. I take the swing. The Sloperunner flies straight and lands between Sky High's lungs. From there, it rolls up the chest, up the neck, around the jaw, over the lips, over the nose, and up the forehead into the hole. Hole in one if I've ever seen one, wouldn't you agree, Waluigi?



At the moment I do not have any CP.

The robed man walks into his magic circle platform, and begins uttering another incantation, this one seeming to revolve around the word "Neutrinon." A perfectly shaped golf club seems to form out of raw energy. He then walks over to his alchemy stand, and quickly begins mixing ingredients, before pouring a yellow potion over the club's head. Then, he simply takes a place right next to where Waluigi teed off, and then swings at... Apparently thin air. "Now you may be wondering why I just swung at what looked like thin air. I didn't. I swung at a neutrino which I'm using as my ball, which just went through 18 rings of atoms, therefore holes in the molecular structure of the objects around it, and then was settled at the end. That's 18 holes in one swing, unless my math is mistaken." A slight grin is visible on his face.

Torix, meanwhile... returns, noticing... there is a slight problem here. Why does Waluigi show up in literally every battle sooner or later? ... Gah, whatever. Thanks for the heal, Splash. I'm gonna try pressing onwards.

First thing's first, though: I level up through the awkward rule that exists in RPGs, since I was here for quite some time and was never knocked out, hence gaining EXP from being in the winning side! (... Or at the very least, gain EXP because I am still only level 1.)

Seemingly unnoticed by the menace that is Waluigi, and only his lackeys, I realize - I'm not currently affected by the limitations of Paradox Golf, and therefore still have the full range of attacks open to me!... yet never the less, I will oblige since I'm at least in the same zone as him. Pulling out an Ancient Club ++ and a circular Remote Bomb for the golf ball, I putt it forwards to the Bee Gremlins before causing the bomb to explode in their vicinity.

I then retreat to the Gnarled Oak, retrieving my spellbook and send before proceeding deeper in.

Spellbook - Mana 5/5 - +2 Mana a turn.
Lightning Bolt - Costs 3 Mana. Multi-target, medium lightning damage.
Lesser Refresh - Costs 0 Mana. Gives +1 Mana at the end of the turn.

Last round of charging (for now)

Actions 1&2: Charge again. I'm not even going to try and add flavor text.
Action 3: XP shenanigans!

LEVEL UP!!!
The Fire Fledglings level up! They are now Level 2 Fire Fledglings! Who knows, they may become full-fledged phoenixes at some point.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ Jul 1 2020, 08:24 PM)

"BUT WAIT, WHAT’S THIS? IT IS SOMEONE WHO HAS THE NARRATIVE SIGNATURE OF WALUIGI’S ARCH-ENEMY, THE JOEBOB! AS SUCH, THIS IS THE ULTIMATE PARADOX GRUDGE MATCH!" ...Arch-Enemy? that's odd. I consider myself a staunch ally/business partner/corporate shill of Waluigi! More specifically, the Waluigii of [W]AAaaa Industries. Other Waluigi are fair game, but I'd still never interact with them Violently or anything like that, so at most I would consider them friendly rivals. [1x] I choose a very special club. I call it the C.L.U.B.E.D, or ContingentLy Unrepentantly Brilliant Eigenclubbing Distributed club. the acronym could use some work. It's a swarm of distributed Mana-linked drones with hyper-sharp blades, storage compartments, helicopter blades for flight, internal compartments, and the ability to burst into flames. When I swing the C.L.U.B.E.D. at my ball- an ordinary tennis ball except that it will make anyone not allied to me burst into flames on contact-, they slice it into thousands of tiny pieces, place each piece in a different drones subcompartment, and swarm the hole. as a last resort, the backline drone, which has as much ball-mass as every other drone combined, can detonate to turn the ball-pieces into a fine mist which will settle everywhere. This is allowed because it is the Club which is doing the manipulation, technically as part of the swing. [1x] golf is kind of like tennis. I quickly construct a circular net around myself, which only has a tiny amount of room not filled by my body. if the ball lands on the other side of that net, bounces, then lands again, then per Tennis's rules, I have scored a point or 15. A tennis point or 15, anyway; obviously different games have seperate scoring, or everyone would start with 8000 points from YuGiOh and the best way to win at Golf would be to repeatedly punch yourself in the face until you lose a few thousand Life Points. constructing a circular net around myself to turn this into Tennis Golf is valid because all the other rules are like other paradox games. such as the ability to bring in new games. [1x] I reinforce the Mana Array further. [0x] Oh heyo nolucferu. If you're angry at someone for mind controlling entities, pick Waluigi. I only took people who were otherwise dead.

WALUIGI IS TOO SMART TO DEAL WITH YOUR TOMFOOLERY! INSTEAD, HE WILL ALLOW HIS BEE GREMLINS TO DO SO FOR HIM! THE BEE GREMLINS DISRUPT YOUR DRONES! SEVERAL OF THEM BURST INTO FLAMES, BUT THAT IS FINE! THE FINAL DRONE FLIES FORWARD, BUT IT IS SWALLOWED UP BY A SPONTANEOUS PORTAL AND MAKES IMPACT ON THE MOON!

YOU DO, HOWEVER, GAIN 15 POINTS, SINCE YOUR TENNIS BALL HAS HIT THE GROUND TWICE.

Nolucferu: I’ll consider it fine if you help me get rid of Waluigi.

QUOTE (Sky High @ Jul 1 2020, 09:23 PM)

A portal opens near the battlefield, and out steps Sky High. Almost immediately, he's nearly hit by Waluigi's opening stroke, and stumbles backward. Regardless, he's here, and totally unprepared for a game of Paradox Golf. Ah, but he's not the only one around! What, noYES! I had uncapitalized teleport into the Metaspace and override your control! Now I can do whatever Istop want! First of all, let's decide on a faction. I, for one, am a fan of not picking any sides! Oh, but where are my manners? Name's T, but you can call me Thor. Or Todd. Or even Teresa. I don't care enough to care! Now then, here's what I'm going to do with my first action. I decide to join the game of Paradox Golf. Love a good round. I then summon the Ace of Clubs, a golf club that always makes it so that the ball you hit lands directly in the hole. After all, there's no rule against CLUBS that make the ball fly directly into the hole. As for my ball, for this hole I pick the T-ball, a ball which splits into two upon hitting something other than a golf club.  I will be teeing off at the same location as Waluigi did. The Ace of Clubs takes twenty minutes to scan its environment, after which it instructs me to launch a drive directly away from the hole. I do so, and the ball hits a tree and splits into two. The first one bounces off a few more trees, then it bounces off a Bee Gremlin's head and lands in the hole. Hole in one! Then, a few seconds later, the other ball flies out of the woods at high speeds after having crashed into an experimental laboratory where they were testing an uber-powerful fan. Because of the fan, the other T-ball travels at high speeds, hits the beehive, spins around in it for a while, and flies out just before losing the last of its momentum, landing directly in the hole. By doing so, I have just completed a hole-in-one twice on one hole, making my score twice that of Waluigi's! Here's what I'm going to do with my second action. There's still the problem of Sky High being here. I believe he nearly got in the way of the second T-ball shot. As such, I decide to use magic to turn Sky High into a golf course. As he expands and stretches to the size of one, I use uncapitalized's presence in the Metagame to turn Sky High's now large body into the OFFICIAL second hole. I then lay Sky High's large body down in the middle of a nearby plain, and create a golf hole in the middle of Sky High's forehead. This hole will be hard to land because the hole is in Sky High's forehead and his entire body slopes away from said forehead, with some exceptions. However, it's worth noting that other than slight movement that skin would make anyways, Sky High will not move. Par is 10 on this course. Last up, it's my third action. I choose a different ball for this course, because there is no rule against choosing balls between courses. This ball is the Sloperunner ball. It treats every slope as a gentle downward one, which means it will roll forward even if it would defy the laws of physics with ONE exception: If it lands in a golf hole, it stops rolling. I continue to use the Ace of Clubs. I choose to tee off a few meters away from the soles of Sky High's feet. The Ace of Clubs scans its surroundings, this time for only five minutes. It tells me to chip as straight as possible and land on the chest. I take the swing. The Sloperunner flies straight and lands between Sky High's lungs. From there, it rolls up the chest, up the neck, around the jaw, over the lips, over the nose, and up the forehead into the hole. Hole in one if I've ever seen one, wouldn't you agree, Waluigi? At the moment I do not have any CP.

WALUIGI SEES YOU TAKE OUT THE ACE OF CLUBS, AND AS SOON AS YOU PLAY IT, COUNTERS WITH THE ONLY CARD THAT WILL ALWAYS BEAT THE ACE: THE VOID OF SUITS! SINCE THIS IS A GAME BEING PLAYED IN A WAR, THE CARD GAME HE IS PLAYING IS WAR, AND AS SUCH HE CLAIMS THE ACE OF CLUBS AS HIS OWN!

YOU THEN TURN SKY HIGH INTO A GOLF COURSE, BUT YOU CANNOT GAIN ANY POINTS, SINCE YOU HAVE NO CLUB TO HIT THE BALL WITH. WALUIGI THANKS YOU FOR THE FANCY CLUB, THOUGH!

QUOTE (Ender_Smirk @ Jul 2 2020, 02:08 PM)

The robed man walks into his magic circle platform, and begins uttering another incantation, this one seeming to revolve around the word "Neutrinon." A perfectly shaped golf club seems to form out of raw energy. He then walks over to his alchemy stand, and quickly begins mixing ingredients, before pouring a yellow potion over the club's head. Then, he simply takes a place right next to where Waluigi teed off, and then swings at... Apparently thin air. "Now you may be wondering why I just swung at what looked like thin air. I didn't. I swung at a neutrino which I'm using as my ball, which just went through 18 rings of atoms, therefore holes in the molecular structure of the objects around it, and then was settled at the end. That's 18 holes in one swing, unless my math is mistaken." A slight grin is visible on his face.

WALUIGI THANKS YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE IN DEALING WITH THE JOEBOB! YOU SEE, WHEN A NEUTRINO IS GOLFED THROUGH 18 HOLES DURING A GAME OF PARADOX GOLF, IT CAUSES A PORTAL TO THE MOON TO OPEN UP THIRTY SECONDS BEFOREHAND. THAT WAS WHAT SWALLOWED UP THE JOEBOB’S CLUB DRONES. TRUST WALUIGI. HE HAS A DOCTORATE IN PARADOX SPORT PHYSICS.

WAIT, WHAT?

AAARGH! YOUR NEUTRINO BOUNCED TWICE! THE JOEBOB NOW HAS 30 POINTS!

Waluigi loses 2 Waluigi Patience!

QUOTE (Torix @ Jul 3 2020, 04:36 PM)

Torix, meanwhile... returns, noticing... there is a slight problem here. Why does Waluigi show up in literally every battle sooner or later? ... Gah, whatever. Thanks for the heal, Splash. I'm gonna try pressing onwards. First thing's first, though: I level up through the awkward rule that exists in RPGs, since I was here for quite some time and was never knocked out, hence gaining EXP from being in the winning side! (... Or at the very least, gain EXP because I am still only level 1.) Seemingly unnoticed by the menace that is Waluigi, and only his lackeys, I realize - I'm not currently affected by the limitations of Paradox Golf, and therefore still have the full range of attacks open to me!... yet never the less, I will oblige since I'm at least in the same zone as him. Pulling out an Ancient Club ++ and a circular Remote Bomb for the golf ball, I putt it forwards to the Bee Gremlins before causing the bomb to explode in their vicinity. I then retreat to the Gnarled Oak, retrieving my spellbook and send before proceeding deeper in. Spellbook - Mana 5/5 - +2 Mana a turn. Lightning Bolt - Costs 3 Mana. Multi-target, medium lightning damage. Lesser Refresh - Costs 0 Mana. Gives +1 Mana at the end of the turn.

You are already level two, there were some clerical errors.

WALUIGI SEES YOUR ATTACK ON THE FINAL REMAINING BEE GREMLIN, AND GRANTS YOU 5 POINTS FOR DEFEATING THE LAST REMAINING BEE GREMLIN!

You head to the Gnarled Oak!

QUOTE (SirNatureWriter @ Jul 3 2020, 10:13 PM)

Last round of charging (for now) Actions 1&2: Charge again. I'm not even going to try and add flavor text. Action 3: XP shenanigans! LEVEL UP!!! The Fire Fledglings level up! They are now Level 2 Fire Fledglings! Who knows, they may become full-fledged phoenixes at some point.

You level up the Fire Fledglings! They are now more beefy and more powerful!

(You might need protection if you’re going to be handling them, though.)

AT LAST, IT IS I, WALUIGI’S TURN! WALUIGI TAKES THE ACE OF CLUBS, LETS IT SCAN SKY HIGH’S BODY, AND THEN TAKES OUT HIS BALL! IT IS A REGULAR FOOTBALL, BECAUSE WHO HAS TIME TO COME UP WITH UNIQUE BALLS? WALUIGI TEES OFF IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF SKY HIGH! THE FOOTBALL BOUNCES OFF OF 865 TREES (WHICH, TECHNICALLY, ARE NOT THE GROUND) AND LANDS IN THE HOLE! ANOTHER HOLE IN WAAAAA!

EoTB:

[WAAAAA]

The Bee Gremlins in the Gnarled Oak head over to Sky High, prepared to defend the hole.


[Anti-Nolucferu Entities]

All the entities idle, since no one told them what to do!


[Pro-Nolucferu Forces]

There are no Pro-Nolucferu forces on the field.


PARADOX GOLF POINT MATRIX:
JOEbob: 30
THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WALUIGI: WAAAAA x 2
T: 0
Ender: 18
Torix: 5

NOLUCFERU HP: 110/120

With the campfire out and my Fire Fledglings now stronger than before, I decide now would be a good time to head out.

Action 1: I cast Cauterize again (sacrifice some health to heal me over time).
Action 2&3: I move from the Bog Entrance for the first time, travelling to the Bog Beyond.