The Artist takes pictures of "THE DARK LORD DESTROYER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, OUT TO DESTROY THE WORLD FOR FUN AND PROFIT" because this is just beautiful. He also asks him to pose for the camera for a bit, and offers to show him pictures. How is the Artist taking pictures, you ask? Why, with the scanner, didn't you see the camera function on it? I mean, how else would they know what these things look like? . . . Anyway, the pictures are fabulous, since they have THE DARK LORD in them, and THE DARK LORD makes everything fabulous.

Originally posted on 2018-03-23 23:17:00

Destiny moves to V7 and shanks the Eldritch Spire. She then takes a look at the Dark Lord.
Pff...
Eheheheheh....
This is quite frankly ridiculous.
Eheheheh...

She somehow manages to not ROFL and retreats to V9.

Originally posted on 2018-03-23 23:37:00

Terry goes to S14, and narrowly dodges Auth's Overwrite, and Teag's "accidental" railgun shot.

Originally posted on 2018-03-24 02:34:00

Comet equips the solar array.

Originally posted on 2018-03-24 04:21:00

Since JOE vanished from the battle for some reason but still displays as there, (I don't show up on any floor and aren't on P9 where I was before DAKR LORDY GUY showed up) he takes the time to terraform bad spike places around the guy and put a sign saying "Nobody is afraid of you we all know you're chaos already." on the front pit.
out of battle JOE ruuuuuuuns to the observer and has the crystalwalker corrupt it. now that it won't resist, he plops it in the inventory. We already have 1 dormant Iti as a resource! clearly we should make a pile of iti.
Then he plants a single soulblossom on practically every tile in the forest crossroads. I counted, and aside from like 3 of them I can do it if I harvest the living ones in the spring.
No, this isn't for resource collection, I just think a field of soulblossoms would look nice. and hey, then we can truthfully claim to be doing good nice things, right?

Originally posted on 2018-03-24 13:30:00

"This looks like it'll be a toughie. Play smart, everyone."

Brutishace spawns in at T8 and moves over to V11. He takes a potshot at the Eldritch Spire behind him at W6 before moving back to W10.

"Those towers look like they're some form of weapon. We'd do best to take them out swiftly!"

Originally posted on 2018-03-24 21:35:00

Zed spawns in at F13, flies to D17, and hurls a Twin Jolts at the Fog Machine.

Originally posted on 2018-03-24 22:29:00

Irongutta looks at The Dark Lord and proceeds to spew forth a series of colorful insults. It isn't clear whether he's hamming it up or just being himself.

"Oi! Listen 'ere ya pompous flying bedsheet! If ya keep assaultin' my ears with yer squeaky grot voice, I'll duff ya so 'ard that ya wont know yer lefts an rights! I bet those tentacles ya summoned hit no 'arder than wet noodles. Yer weedier than the walkin' twigs that populate this bloody backwater planet. If ya take one more step towards this 'ouse, I'm gonna boot ya so 'ard you'll taste old leather for the next fortnight, ya bleedin' gorilla! They should call ya the Dim Lord instead, 'coz ya gotta be a real stupid git to pick a fight with me an' my lads 'ere. Wot I'm sayin' is get off my zoggin' property ya snotty muppet!"

He then spawns at R14, moves to R15, smacks the Dark Lord with his weapon, and moves back to R14.

Originally posted on 2018-03-24 23:42:00

Bergilmir raises his eyebrows when the Dark Lord arrives.

cA: You boast quite a bit. Are your strong words, however, actually backed by any power?

He sighs and shakes his head.

cA: ...You know, I don't know if I actually want you to answer that. Probably not.

Spawn at S13, and use Hidden Rock on the "Dark Lord".

Originally posted on 2018-03-25 00:00:00

Xae is magiced up (or if you prefer, spawned) on R13, confused at how he went from being in a basement to being on the ground floor again. Shoving his confusion aside for a moment, he fires a round at the weirdo in the cardboard boxes evil & likely unkillable dark lord

Originally posted on 2018-03-25 08:57:00

Shizuki spawns at F13, moves to E13 and shoots the Fog Machine.

Originally posted on 2018-03-25 09:33:00

​
Toast looks up at Marron, brushing hair from her eyes. She looks stunned.
"W-wait... Chaos had you... captive? I-I thought- I guess I just thought..."
She trails off once more, and slowly stands to her feet. Gone is her heroic composure and everpresent confidence- With all of that stripped away she just looks... small.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm... so, so sorry. I didn't realise how much gorilla you'd been through."
She pauses, allowing Marron to respond, before she turns her ire on Chaos.

"The next time I see that son of a glitch I'm gonna gorillaing knock his head off with a fishing pole! I just--"
She turns around, suddenly noticing the The Dark Lord, Destroyer of All That is Good and Holy, Out to Destroy the World for Fun and Profit. Once more, she looks stunned. And angry. And confused. And cheated. And angry again.

"You can't be serious! This is so stupid! I just want to... ARGH!"
He's right bloody there, but- anfarfbvjhzasbrkv, she thinks to herself, I seriously want to give him a piece of my fist right now but he just looks so... ridiculous. Argh!
In a fit of confusion and anger, Toast tosses her fishing rod at the "Eldritch" Spire closest to her. She's also at T8. If the spire is already dead, she'll cast Encapsulate at Range 1-2 for no real reason besides +6% Fish, +12 SP and +2 MM.

Originally posted on 2018-03-25 09:50:00

Out of battle: Verdana walks into the house, shining really bright and probably causing the dark lord quite a few issues given the massive light vulnerability, then walks into the basement to hide from current dangers. The sound of him humming to himself begins to fill the air, an oddly calming sound... Meanwhile, Calibri responds to Chloe's reaction in a thankfully-rather-calm, albeit confused, manner.

"Okay, guess humans interpret like as a far stronger word. Or something. I don't know. Not familiar with your society at all."

He shrugs, teleports over to the basement door, then turns to Marron as if about to say something. There's a pause.

"...Hmm... Was gonna ask you something, but you look like you're going through rough times right now. Maybe later."

He then... pretty much just only exists there right now to make sure nothing bad happens to Verdana, as per usual considering the "only one person in battle at a time" nature of him and EN's current partnership.


In battle: EN drops down onto S7, heads up to S4, then guns down the spire at S2 since nobody else seems to want to deal with that one.

Originally posted on 2018-03-26 21:48:00

<ROUND FORTY-THREE>
The Voice then explodes respecs so hard, that his body transforms into some lady named Nezira the Archivist! She promptly renames some goods, edits her trait and special, and finally, edits her skills. JOE then attempts to run out of battle to shove an Observer in the inventory, but promptly runs into a cardboard wall that was most certainly there earlier.

CHAOS DARK LORD: no fleeing your deading!
DARK LORD: spook is normal. properly manuever yourself or you will be shrek'd, however
DARK LORD: also who is ©haos he sounds like a person who is good for deading people and being awesome

JOE then also plants soulblossoms on every tile of the Forest Crossroads. While certainly pretty, this almost certainly doesn't qualify as a "nice thing" in terms of preventing the death of everyone, nor does it prove your non-aggression towards the Chairians. 34 whole Soulblossoms are consumed in this transaction. You haven't even covered the whole field with that many (re: all of your blossoms), but we'll count it anyway.

Toast and Marron then reconcile a bit. Marron manages to calm down as Toast dries her tears. Seeing that things have cooled down, Ette baits Marron within range of Toast and performs the fabled x2 GROUP HUG.

MARRON: I-It's fine! I-I'm glad you understand...
MARRON: Y-You'd be surprised how much I've been through. You know those... "training montages" or whatever Chaos calls them? He made me go through those before coming over here.
MARRON: Except, instead of getting stronger or actually succeeding in anything, I'd get mauled by... z-zombies, and my limp gorilla would need to be hauled out by sis.
MARRON: Every. Single. gorillaing. Time. Even when I was covered in head to toe with bruises and bumps, he'd set me up against some impossible challenge! He said it was for my own good, but I think he was secretly trying to kill me.

Ette then senses a bit of anger brewing within Toast, and takes a step back, just in time for her to vent towads Chaos.

MARRON: Hey, you wouldn't mind if I joined you in beating the gorilla out of him, right? That'd be sick. It'll be like old times!
MARRON: ...I say they're old times, but that was like a month ago. When I was "canonically sixteen" or whatever.
MARRON: O-Oh? Have I mentioned? I'm actually seventeen now! I actually visited Auth on my birthday! It was kinda nice.

With Marron's rationality restored(?), Tazz keeps on transmitting to Marron. With her newfound knowledge of not looking like an idiot, she keeps her mouth shut and projects to him with MENTAL WILLPOWER.

MARRON: (...You're sure about that? You can only read what I predict...?)
MARRON: (If that's not the case, I will find some way to kill you... or at least, gross you out with whatever gorilla I can think of.)
MARRON: (...Anyway, I guess I can avoid slaughtering the Chairians. Toast doesn't seem the happiest with my actions, anyway. Not doing this for you.)

<THE DARK LORD'S RISE, ROUND EIGHT>
Well. That was something. Anyway, may as well get Marron that kill so you can get the achievement, right? The Dark Lord (or Chaos, as he is known as now) isn't really gonna fight back due to crippling depression disappointment, so attack away!

Originally posted on 2018-03-27 01:05:00

Kokichi spawns extremely late at R13 and summons an Illusory Trap at S15. He then runs to P14 and hides behind Nezira (like a hecking douche.)

Originally posted on 2018-03-27 03:02:00

Wyvern is summoned to T19 and stares in awe at the creature before him and says his first words in the time he’s been here.

“Holy [gorilla].”

Not entirely sure what to do, he runs over to T15 and slashes at the Dark Lord before retreating V14.

Originally posted on 2018-03-27 03:12:00

Nezira grins at Chaos. "Hey, you tried. That was a pretty good setup, actually. I've read about people turning stuff like that into a career of entertaining and harmless (but serious) villainy. And you can always try again and be a recurring boss! But it's good that you know when to cut your losses. This'll be over soon."

She scans a nearby Eldritch Spire and casts another Hidden Glow at THE DARK LORD himself, not even bothering to move from her space otherwise.

Originally posted on 2018-03-27 05:21:00

Irongutta can't exactly move much since he's suddenly shoulder-to-shoulder with like the whole party. "Well I'll give ya one thing, Dim Lord, ya tried fer some good presentation. Lemme just give ya a proppa thrashin' first."

Irongutta smacks Chaos with his weapon again. It's a good way to go.

Originally posted on 2018-03-27 05:33:00

Teag Hidden Swords the spire near him.

Originally posted on 2018-03-27 05:35:00

Who are you? If you try to kill us next time can you actually try to be decently threatening?

Originally posted on 2018-03-27 05:40:00