Alternatively, once we make all the castle parts go boom, some weird outside force is gonna shove us and Scratch into some arena rife with Boss Arena Idiocy, so that we can beat the stuffing out of the muppet.
Although, I personally think that letting the Mainframe show up was a bad idea, as that means that twin's either got some serious nope'ing to do unfairly, or Scratch is going to die 6 challenges too early.
So me, Insert Generic Username, gutza, and even Twinbuilder did a thing today.
WARNING: Spoiler is very very large, view if you have ~20 minutes to burn.
Pit: Welcome to Studio 89.6, kids. This is going to be a long and hard thing to do, so you might wanna buckle your pants. Everything you like about the Smash Bros. characters and the series they come from will be burned alive. Hell has frozen over, and we're going to have to trash this if we want to fix the ruins of the world we live in.
Pit: ...Okay, that was overexaggerated, but still! This is the worst...of the absolute worst. Grammar has died, every series has been butchered to levels unseen, and the pure disrespect for some of the characters is...astonishing, to say the least.
gutza1: Oh god. Is it really that bad? I've read some badfics like My Immortal, Burston's Sorrow, Hart Shaped Love, and HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
This is Subpar Smush Broas Mishan Forum God 2: The REEL Sekwel! LAUREN U R DUM (Actual full title), as MSTed by the likes of:
- PitTheAngel
- gutza1
-TwinBuilder
And - BLUH NOT GONNA CONFORM TO YOUR RULES
We're bolding the text of the actual fic to separate it from our notes.
-Chapter 1- Summary: I finelly got my passwerd bak from Lauren and I goten my acont agen and channed the paswerd 2 wat it was b4 so Lauren cant do meen lesban stuf in my acont liek wat she did 2 my Atak on Titen storey.
Pit: Oh. Oh nooooooooooooooooo-
Gutza: Meen lesban?
Gutza: Eh wha?
TwinBuilder: Meen lesban... I guess she can't do mean lesbian?
BNGCTYR: Wait, lesban sounds like a country.
BNGCTYR: Is there a lesban?
This storey is the reel sekwel 2 my furst storey the otter sekwal didant hapen. Im writan this becuz the nude Smash Bro gaem will be hear in oktaver.
Gutza: Wait. You're saying that there's an original story as well as a disowned sequel? I wonder how bad the latter must have been to for the creator to retcon it.
TwinBuilder: It must have been really bad. LIke, REALLY bad.
Pit: And there's an Attack on Titan fanfic the same author wrote.
TwinBuilder: Eh, I don't know too much about Attack on Titan, so I won't check it out. I DO know Smash though, so I guess this is the place to be right now.
BNGCTYR: What. "Nude smash bro game."
BNGCYTR: Perfect. Just. Perfect.
BNGCTYR: Also, otter sekwal. Why's there a sequel with otters.
Notes: Thes is the firt chaptar of my storey.
Pit: I'd recommend you keep it at that.
TwinBuilder: Agreed.
Oregonally i wuz guna hav Mart be the on who cums in my scole buthan I didant finesh writen this yestarday and than a noo caractor was putin the gaem today.
TwinBuilder: ..."who cums in my scole"? What?
BNGCTYR:"Who comes to my school" or something like that.
Pit: That's wrong on so many levels.
TwinBuilder: I guess that makes sense.
I think its a sine frum God to maek him my bofrend in thes storey.
TwinBuilder: Yep, it's definitely the trigonometric function of an angle. MATH JOKES MADE: 1
ALSO LAUREN U R DUM!!! AND I SAWED A PICTAR OF UR NEW GURLFREN ON THE INTRANET AND EVAN THOS SHES NOT FAT (LIEK I WAS HOPPING) SHE DOSE HAS A RELLY BIG NOES SO I THANK SHE MITE BE JEWASH!!!
BNGCTYR: "Jewash". So is it a car wash or...
Pit: Big Nose = Jewish. YEP MAKES SENSE TO ME CUE THE DANCE PARTY.
TwinBuilder: Not Jewish. JewAsh. There's the difference. I think they have a compulsion to always do laundry or something.
BNGCTYR: Ah, that makes sense. I think.
Gutza: So now Ash is Jewish? Already we have some Canon Defilement here.
BNGCTYR: Or... hm. Which Ash? Pokemon? There's an Ash in Evil Dead or something right?
Gutza: Considering how bad this fic will probably be, I think there's a chance Evil Dead Ash will show up.
I CAN SEE WY UR STIL USEN EVUL MAJAK 2 PUT LESBAN THOTS IN MY HED AND TRY TO TURD ME IN2 A LESBAN BECUZ IM SO MUK PRITTER THAN THE GURL UR DATEN NOW!!! BUT IT WONT WERK IM STRATE!!!
Gutza: This is a fanfic, right?
Gutza: So why is there a bunch of RL relationship issue stuff going on?
Pit: Allow me to tell you about the wonders of the Self-Insert.
Gutza: You have got to be kidding me. There's actually a Self-Insert character in the fic?
Pit: Not just A self-insert, Self-insertS.
BNGCTYR: Isn't that a standard for bad fanfic? You act surprised.
Gutza: This is going to be the funniest thing I've ever read.
TwinBuilder: Also let's take a look at the fact that she thinks evil magic can be used to put lesbian thoughts in her head.Yep, that definitely makes that "meen lesban" stuff up there earlier "lesbian". I'm not too sure what to think about that.
Gutza: Also, how can someone "turd" you into a lesbian?
BNGCTYR: What, no.
BNGCTYR: It's clearly *LESBAN* majak.
BNGCTYR: Still not sure what a lesban is though.
Chapter 1: CHAP 1 SARAS NEW ADVENTUR CHAP 1: SARAS NOO ANVENTOR
BNGCTYR: Alright this is just a new low.
TwinBuilder: Didn't she already say "chapter 1" like two times? Regardless, I can't wait for this noo adventur! It will be so exiciting, no doubt!
Gutza: I guess there's no adventure then. Okay guys, time to pack up and go home.
Pit: No, it's a new adventur.
BNGCTYR: Shrug. Maybe she just never learned how to make copypasta.
BNGCTYR: Also what's an anventor? Is it like some kind of inventor of anvils or something.
I was siten in my meth class and my techar Mr Sandarsan was bein reely meen.
TwinBuilder: Meth class. We're going all Breaking Bad up in here, let's go.
Pit: Oh boo hoo, how bad your life is.
Liek jus 2day in reel lief aksed be a queston abot wy my handwritan on my homwerk is difrant frum on my furst quiz of the scole yer (wich startad thes weak) and also wy i do relly wel on homewurk but not on the quoz. I cant tel him that my parants do my homwork 4 me becuz Barak Obaba maed haven ur parrots do ur homewrok ilegal.
Gutza: Apparently the author is a Tea Party member.
Pit: This isn't the first time we're going to hear her moan about Law in this thing.
BNGCTYR: Oh joy. Also damn her parents must be really tolerant of stupidity. Or at least feigning stupidity.
TwinBuilder: Well, I think her parents would just say anything that she said. They're parrots.
Barak Obana prolly maed that law so id fale hi scule and hav 2 get a pore persan job and liv on welfar.
TwinBuilder: To summarize, her teacher is accusing her of cheating and saying she doesn't do good on quizzes, and then she says that Obama made parents helping children with homework illegal and then accuses Obama of rigging the law so that she would fail school. This seems completely and totally legit.
BNGCTYR: ... That's stupid. Nobody wants the government to pay more money.
But teh joaks on him becuz my parants r so ric that ican liv on inharatans 4evar and wil nevar be a lazey pore persan evan if i dont graduat hi skool (wich i wil becuz im reely smart).
Gutza: In what universe are you "reely smart?"
BNGCTYR: "Inharatans." Great.
TwinBuilder: Why don't you use this "smart" to do good on quizzes?
BNGCTYR:So is being "reely smart" mean that you're good at fishing.
Pit: OBJECTION! Back in the first fic, you asked why Monkeys exist if Monkeys came from humans!
BNGCTYR: Isn't that backwards.
Also Mr Sandarsan is blak so he prolly votad 2 Oboma and wants 2 taek munny frum my famely adn otter hard-werking job craters 2 putin Obomacar so that pore pepole wil get helth car they dont deserv becuz they didant ern it.
TwinBuilder: Using "putin" and "Oboma" in the same sentence is never a good sign. Screw math jokes, I think politics jokes should be more accurate. POLITICS JOKES MADE: 1
BNGCTYR: Or just make every misspelling that seems close enough to a pokemon.
BNGCTYR: VOTAD, THE NEWD FRIEND.
BNGCTYR: Wait mixing my refs there.
So aneyway Mr Sandarsan was bein meen 2 me by callen on me 2 anser a queston frum the homwork that my parants did 4 me.
Pit: Then you should be able to answer it.
Butthan alof a sudan the dore to the clasrom opaned. I thot it mite be God lik last tim but it wasant. It was a britesh guy with blod hare who had a majek sord caled the Morondo. It was Sholk.
Gutza: SUDDENLY, SHULK!
Gutza: Also, Shulk has a Scottish accent. He's Scottish.
TwinBuilder: You thought it might be god... like last time... Last time, you got involved with GOD? So... I GUESS this is Shulk? He's supposed to be holding the Monado.
BNGCTYR: The "Morondo." Perfect. So it has the power to change the future but only when wielded by idiots. HUZZAH FOR THE MORONDO. OR SOMETHING.
Pit: Yeah it's Shulk because she said in the summary someone new came in today, and Shulk appeared during that.
"Sara u ned 2 blody cum with me!" he sed, "Lauren lerned the secrete way in2 hevan wen she wuz pretendin 2 be ur frend. And she tolled Satin and Oboma and they concurred hevan and captared God and Jesas!!! Its impassible 4 God and Jesas to turd gay becuz they cant sin but if there captared than Satin rools hevan. U ned 2 cum 2 Nentindo wrold agen to fined ot how 2 saev them."
Gutza: This makes Michelle Bachmann look intelligent.
TwinBuilder: To recap - Lauren told Satan and Obama how to get into heaven and now they captured God and Jesus. Implying that Obama is literally the devil. POLITICS JOKES MADE: 2? Does that even count?
BNGCTYR: Sooo... "Blody cum". Perfect. LET'S HAVE SEX DURING YOUR PERIOD, SAID SHULK.
Pit: Yeah, she thinks Shulk is british because of his voice actor, and will use Bloody so very much.
BNGCTYR: That's not even how it works.
"Ok" i sed and i gotted ot of my seet. "SIT UR FYNE WITE A** DOWN SARA OR ILL BUSTA CAPE IN UR A**" sed Mr Sandarsan and he puled ot a gun and holded it on its sid ganestar stile.
Pit [Sandarsan]: Yes, Sara, sit down after a crazy blond guy with a sword busts in and tells you some exposition.
BNGCTYR: He'll bust a cape. Man, screw this guy, capes are too awesome to waste on her ****.
TwinBuilder: No! No capes! Do you remember what happened to the last guy who wore a cape? That's right, he got caught in an airplane engine and DIED. This guy speaks the truth.
BNGCTYR: That's Syndrome? Huh. Incredibles reference.
Gutza: We know.
"No u bloddy wont u wankar (I lerned that thats in insalt in the langage they speek in Briten so Sholk isant gonna cal me a wankar)" Sholk sed.
Gutza: Also, British people do not say "bloody" every 3 words.
Pit: Yes, it is an insult, but it's not exactly to be used a lot.
BNGCTYR: "The language they speak in Britain." PERFECT.
"UR KRAKEN A** BETAR GES AGEN!" Mr Sandarsan sed. He shat a ballet at Sholk but Sholk can c the futur and he dogged it. "AW HELL NAW!!!" Mr Sandarsan shat moar ballets at Sholk butt Sholk dogged tham 2. Than we herd sirans and the polise came all over the room. "YO F*** THE POLITE DOG!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed. "Mr Sandarsan u hav a warant ot 4 ur arest 4 rappen wite womans and 4 sellin drug" the polaris chef sed.
TwinBuilder: This guy loves rappen wite womans. Since that sounds like "rapping", I'm taking that as an excuse to say that this guy raps with white womans. Someone compose a rap about this please, since I have no rapping skills.
Gutza: Maybe he and and Dave Strider should get into a rap-off.
Gutza: Oh wait. He'll probably start raping random women.
BNGCTYR: He shat a bullet. I am incredibly disturbed now. Just how powerful is his ****?
TwinBuilder: ...Oh god. Then Shulk "dogged" it, so I guess he turned the bullet into a dog?
Pit: This is gonna suck a lot.
BNGCTYR: Also. This implies that this world has ether in it. Or it's a simulation. Weird.
"ULL NEVAR TAEK ME ALIV HOMELY!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed. Mr Sandarsan gotted in2 a gunfite with the polise and they shat him ded. Than the polise laft the rome and the otter stoodants gotted ot boks 4 studey hal becuz we cant hav matt class if r matt teecher is ded.
Gutza: Since when does this take place in Rome?
Pit: Expect "shat" to replace "shot". It's just better to lower your expectations that way.
TwinBuilder: Rule of School #381: You can't have matt class if your matt teacher is dead.
BNGCTYR: "They shat him dead." PERFECT.
BNGCTYR: Also, Matt class.
"Sara u ned 2 hurray" Sholk sed "God and Jesas stil ned 2 be saev!" "rite" i sed "also ho did u no abot God and Jesas bean captar?"
Pit: Because he's Mr. Exposition.
BNGCTYR: Damn right we need to hurray. That teacher's dead, and not too soon for shitting at people and traumatizing them.
Gutza: Also, you know that you've screwed if you got captured against your will and you're an OMNIPOTENT BEING!
"Well im Britesh and the Queen of Briten is teeming up with Harey Potar to try to maek Amerka in2 Britesh colons agen.
TwinBuilder: Uh.
Pit: What. Just What.
BNGCTYR: OH NO THE BRITISH ARE TURNING US INTO PUNCTUATION.
Gutza: I thought this was a Super Smash Bros fic. But now it's trying to imitate Hart Shaped Love.
Gutza: And in Hart Shaped Love, Bella and Edward go to Hogwarts and meet the TF2 mercs.
BNGCTYR: Do we care.
Also Harey Potar tot Lauren the majek that shes usen 2 try 2 tune u in2 a lesban. Butt im a gud Britesh persan who wants 2 stap the Queen and Harey Potar and Satin and Obaka and Lauren" Sholk sed "Im prolly gunna run 4 King of Briten in the nex elecshan 2 maek Briten a gud plase wer everone is Christen and we no that Amerka is betar than us. Also u can be my gurlfrend so that u can be Queen and also so everone will no ur not a lesban."
Gutza: I thought Britan and the US are good friends?
TwinBuilder: UH.
BNGCTYR: So... Lesban. Great.
"Ok" I sed. So Me and Sholk wented back 2 teh Smahs Manshan 4 an advenitur. Wat wil hapen next? Fined ot next cahpter!!!
TwinBuilder: I'm not sure I want to... But I can't stop reading. I MUST figure out how this continues. And hey, if all of you want to find out too (and I can't fathom why), then say so! Who knows, we might do chapter 2.
-Chapter 2-
TwinBuilder: ...Oh damn, we are.
Summary: Sara meats teh new carectors and the oled ons.
BNGCTYR: Hold on can we catch up on chapter 1.
Pit: No please, just meat the new ones.
BNGCTYR: ... Uh. Even the dudes? Not gonna imply anything, but...
Im so gald that its satarday so i dont hav 2 be in skool.
Pit: We weren't.
BNGCTYR: Also, you should really retake about every class you've ever taken. Ever.
I toled my dad that i was wory abot failen and he sad it was ok becuz he donats lotsa munny 2 my scool and can tel the prinsipol and teh skool bored that he wont donat unles my grad is chang 2 passen grad if im failen.
Pit: I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
TwinBuilder: So you didn't tell him that your math teacher died?
BNGCTYR: No, it's a MATT teacher. He presumably teaches about matts.
TwinBuilder: So you didn't tell him your MATT teacher died?? That's even worse!
Gutza: This shows why she's not "reely smart."
BNGCTYR: Also, the teacher's first name is matt. Excellent, filling gaps in canon. Also, I guess that this is technically a bit where she talks about stuff OOC. Not that it's easy to distinguish the two.
He sed he did this for my bruther a few tims wen he wuz in hi skool and the skool alweys gived him wat he aksed. Im so hapey im not gona fale.
TwinBuilder: Okay then.
CHAP 2: NO PAPAL AT THE MANSHAN
Pit: I don't want any Papal at my mansion either.
BNGCTYR: Well, maybe this means that this mansion isn't papal. As in related to the pope.
Gutza: Yeah, the Pope probably doesn't want to go near the place.
Me and Sholk went 2 Nentendo wolrd and wer otsid the manshan. "U ned 2 meat al the pepole hera" Sholk sed. "I alredy met moast of tham last tim" I sed. "Wel i wasant hear yet and so wer a buncha otter pepole so u ned 2 met tham" Sholk sed. Sudanly Mark waked ot of the manshan adn ther was a gurl withim who loked kinda liek him. She wuz relly pritty and had long bloo hare.
TwinBuilder: Is... Is that Marth?
Gutza: The author is now officially lesbian.
Pit: I knew that.
BNCTYR: *Lesban.
"Hi agen Sara" March sed "this is my sitar Lucina." "Hi Lucina im Sara" I sed "ur relly pritty."
TwinBuilder: Wow, so you can spell Lucina's name right, but nothing else.
Pit: OBJECTION! Lucina is Marth's ancestor! Didn't you try to reaserch?
BNGCTYR: "Sitar." THE NEWEST POKEMON COMING SOON TO POKEMON ... uh... hm.
"Tanks r pritty 2" Lucina sed. Also Mark and Lucinas dad wasant Snaek. It wuz sum bloo-hared guy who got beated up by Capten Failcan (who i gess is the badguy of there gaems). C im doen reserk of thes caractors.
Gutza: I didn't know Captain Falcon was an Epic Fail.
Pit: Oh, and i forgot to mention Solid Snake is Marth's father because that's how you rewrite reality.
TwinBuilder: ...What?
BNGCTYR: So Lucina is attracted to tanks. I'm kind of worried about the implications, but also the timefcuks involved in that.
Gutza: Maybe I could lure her with a Mauss.
I remambered last tim i wuz otsid the manshan and meeted a gurl and she cal me pritty. "Ur not a lesban, r u?" I sed. "No ima Christen!" Lucina seemd made that i acused her of bein a lesban.
Gutza: Apparently the author is one of those Anti-gay fundamentalist wingnuts.
TwinBuilder: It seems the author is NOT officially a lesbian.
BNGCTYR: Ahem. This is entirely misrepresenting lesbans. I'm not even going to say it's lesbians, because this spelling thing happens waaaaaay too often.
Pit: I should mention everyone who isn't a Christian is automatically Atheist and Gay/Lesbian.
BNGCTYR: What. Well at least she's not being antiislamic? I guess? Hm.
"Thats grate. Im sorey i akused u of bein a lesban" I sed. "Its ok i no u ned 2 be carefol or lesbans will rap u" Lucina sed, "butt i cant be a lesban becuz i hav a bofrend his naem is Roban."
TwinBuilder: Remember kids, be careful or lesbians will rape you in your sleep!
BNGCTYR: No, "Rap". She's gonna drop the sickest rhymes on her fat ****. MISSED RAP POTENTIAL: 1
Pit: That's funny, i made my Lucina in FE: A's boyfriend Chrom.
"O ya that remineds me i hav a gurlfrend now her naem is also Roben. The 2 Robans r twin brothur an sistar butt there parants wernt vary kreatev with naems. We cal them Goy Roben and Gurl Roben so taht it isant confusen" Mark sed "also sens i hav a difrant gurlfrend we cant dat."
Gutza: Robens? So they're going to rob you?
Pit: I think i'm losing a few brain cells.
BNGCTYR: Wait, wait, wait. SO LUCINA IS A LESBIAN, SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! wait no darn. it's mark.
TwinBuilder: You mean "lesban". Honestly, I thought you'd be the guy who'd correct everyone on that.
BNGCTYR: But see, a lesban is something different from a lesbian. I'm not sure what it is, so I can't be sure whether someone is a lesban.
"Thats ok Sholk is my bofrend now" I sed. "Grate" Mart sed. I new Lucina and me wode be grate frends. Adn weall wented in2 manshan 2 meat everone eels. Tha new pepole in teh Manshan wer intrestin. I meated Lucinas bofrend Buy Roban and Marks gurlfrend Gorl Roban. Ther was Mageman who had a canen on his arm liek Samas so maybee hes Samas litol bruther (hoapfely he isant gay).
TwinBuilder: Don't worry, he's just a tin can. Robots don't have feelings.
BNGCTYR: ...
Ther was Roselena who loked alot liek Peech.
TwinBuilder: Makes sense.
Pit: Because Rosalina is a clone of Peach. The same logic that is used to make the conclusion that White Mage is a clone of Peach.
BNGCTYR: But... She kind of isn't. She's got a different moveset.
Ther was also Viloger and Wifit Tranner and ther wer boy an girl vershans of bothof them. Ther was Pakman and Grenigga who wer poakmons so they beleeved in evilushon and not God so i didant maek frends with them.
TwinBuilder: Okay, I'm done. Pac-Man's a Pokemon, and Greninja's Grenigga. Everything makes sense here, definitely nothing wrong. Yep. Totally.
Gutza: Another thing the author doesn't get: Just because you believe in God doesn't mean you have to not believe in evolution.
Pit: Back in the original, Pokemon were Pacman, so that's a thing.
BNGCTYR: Man, she's already made enough Pokemon without these horrible fakes.
Ther was the Mi Fitters and ther were three of tham with difrant wepons. Ther was Pollutena who is an angle liek Pete butt shes his bos or sumthin so i gess shes a moar impotent angle. And ther was Litol Mike who is a boxcar.
TwinBuilder: The thing about Litol Mike is that HE ALWAYS ROLLS BOXCARS.
BNGCTYR: Props for the ref, but what's "Litol"?
TwinBuilder: Little. I guess?
Pit: Wait. You're saying that PALUTENA is now an ANGEL because you're religiously stupid? RAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
[Pit was detained by the other 3 MSTers. Please hold.]
BNGCTYR: No you weren't. Nothing to see here.
Gutza: She's not an angel. She's an angle. Probably a right angle.
BNGCTYR: Really, because I thought she was too obtuse for that. Huh.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 2.
Gutza: Hey, it is Pi Day.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 3. You just gotta keep track of this stuff.
BNGCTYR: No you weren't. Nothing to see here.
Ther miteof ben otter pepole 2 but the gaem isnt relees yet so idont no abot tham if ur reeden this aftar the gaem is ot pritend i sed the otter pepole wer there.
Gutza: I don't think that Nintendo could have snuck in a bunch of unknown characters. It would take a tactical genius... CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
Pit: If you're not sure of everyone, why did you go with it?
BNGCTYR: The otter people. So in summation. There are secret otter characters. WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.
I also notesed al the otter pepole frum b4 wer there. Ther wer sum difrances liek Icke was moar musklar now (maybee he was sad that Lauren was lyen 2 him al along wen tehy wer daten and she was reely a lesban so he werked ot alot becuz thats how reel mans deel with sadnas. Thats the resin hes mor musklar in thes storey). Sudanly Mastar Hanned flyed up. "Sara ur bak" he didant seem hapey 2 see me becuz hes a jurk who lissans 2 teh librul medea and beleevs al teh gud thins i do r ron.
TwinBuilder: Well, Master Hand's definitely a jerk. But only when he's being controlled by Tabuu. ...There's something suspiscious going on here. Is Tabuu feeding liberal media to Master Hand?? POLITICS JOKES MADE: 2.
BNGCTYR: Hmmmmmmmm. Also the real question is whose hands these are.
Pit: Tabuu is Obama.
Gutza: That makes sense in this fanfic's world.
"Do u stil hav my paparwerk frum last tim" I sed. "No i throwed it ot becuz idont liek u" Mister Han sed. "Ur Meen!" I sed.
TwinBuilder: Look at the quality burns going on here. Simply beautiful. This is the type of stuff you think of in the shower hours after someone actually says something mean to you, and you're like, "Damn, I wish I thought of that sooner!"
BNGCTYR: Who's Meen? I prefer Meenah, but that's just personal preference.
BNGCTYR: Also, too close to home man. Too close.
"Its ok I new thes wode hapaned becuz ican c the futur so I alredy filed ot ur paparwerk agen 4 u" Sholk sed "u jus ned 2 sine it."
TwinBuilder: Another trigonometric function of an angle! MATH JOKES MADE: 4.
BNGCTYR: But what was the angle? Palutena? So she needs to make a sine of Palutena. Or Pit.
TwinBuilder: Pit was an angle too...
Pit: Let's not forget Sara becoming an angle with her final smash!
"Yay" I sed. I sined the paparwerk and ther was noting Mastar Hen cold do 2 kep me otta tha Manshan.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 5.
Gutza: Yet more sineing. That's not even a word.
Pit: But there's nothing preventing me from keeping you out.
BNGCTYR: MORE SINES!
"Ucan shar a rome with Lucina i gess" Matterhorn sed.
Gutza: IS THE AUTHOR A LESBAN OR NOT?!
BNGCTYR: You know, she honestly doesn't work hard enough to deny being a lesbian. Or a lesban.
BNGCTYR: You'd think she wants to take a different room.
"Grate!" I sed. "Cum with me" Lucina sed. So we wented 2 her room wichwas also my room now. I new theens wode be grate and id be able to saev God and Jesas.
Pit: Oooooooooooooh.
TwinBuilder: Oh yes... You're both going to enter the same room together... And then, no one will be able to stop you from doing whatever it is you're about to do that definitely isn't private. Totally. I bet that's definitely not what the author had in mind when making this fic. So, I guess it's on to Chapter 3...?
Gutza: My sex scene sensors are detecting something...
BNGCTYR: My gaydar is going wild here! It's off the charts! RADARS DON'T EVEN HAVE CHARTS HOW IS THIS HAPPENING
-Chapter 3-
Summary: Sara fites a battal with Capten Falkne butt thins dont go accordion 2 plane.
TwinBuilder: Yep.
BNGCTYR: Whats a battal
Pit [General]: EXECUTE PLAN ACCORDION! IT'S FOOLPROOF!
Gutza: Wait. I just realized something.
Gutza: A plane is something in geometry.
TwinBuilder: Oh yeah. This accordion is definitely lying on a flat, two-dimensional surface. MATH JOKES MADE: 6.
BNGCTYR: Hmm, does that really count as a math joke.
Notes: I see sum libruls r hear 2 say bad thins abot my storey agen.
Pit: OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN.
U libruls sholdnt doo that butt i thenk moast pepole who say my storey is bad r bean pade by Barak Obema (prolly with taxpayar dolers, 2) too maek me lok bad.
BNGCTYR: "U libruls sholdn't doo that butt." Best line ever.
Gutza: Another anti-LBGT statement.
BNGCTYR: Uh what.
Pit: We wouldn't get paid enough to do this for an infinite salary.
BNGCTYR: Especially because that would wreck the economy. But then again surely you have some understanding of math.
Jus remamber that evan tho ur getan alota munny now ur stil gona go2 hell wen u die becuz of this.
Pit: But what if we don't believe in hell? GET REKT SCRUB.
Gutza: Or what if the liberals are just people who happen to have different viewpoints instead of Satan's soldiers?
Also 2moro is laber day so i get a tree day weakand. Tahts grate, butt i maye hav treble updat thes storey 2moro becuz on my mom wants me to leev the hose and hane ot with on of my frends 2moro wile my dads at werk.
Gutza: IT'S TREE DAY! PLANT SOME PINES AND OAKS!
Pit: Should i make the Mega Man 7 joke or not?
TwinBuilder: Go ahead.
Pit: But where's Bass? *Pit holds up a paper drawing of Bass*
BNGCTYR: *Holds up a bass* *Holds up the other kind of bass.*
Gutza: Wait a second. "wile my dads at werk?" Does that mean that HER DAD IS WILY?
BNGCTYR: No,
Maybee shes planen sumthin for my birtday (witch is wendsday! Im so exited! Im gona be fiften yers odd).
TwinBuilder: You're fourteen years old and yet your grammar is that of a five year old. Huh.
BNGCTYR: "witch is wendsday." I'm confused about this statement. Wait, nevermind, got it. There's a witch named wendsday. She's excited because her parents caught the witch and they can burn them to death now.
CHAP 3: SOMETHEN IS RONG
Pit: Yeah, this fanfic is what's rong.
I was sleapen in Me and Lucinas bed wen sudanly the lodspekar in the rome startad talken with Mastur Hands vois.
TwinBuilder: Oh, so they skipped the sex scene.
Pit: Aww, i wanted to film that!
BNGCTYR: Darn. Wait no that would be pedophilia. We'd go to jail. Definitively not bad.
"Sara u ned 2 cum 2 teh arina 2 fite Capten Falken" Mastar Honda sed.
BNGCTYR: "Sara u need 2 cum." Excellent.
Pit: Master Honda? I hardly even know-a!
Gutza: Maybe Master Honda should let her ride him (double enterende because a Honda is a car).
Me and Lucina waked up. "U ned 2 fite Capton Futon?" Lucina sed "u ned to be carfol Capten Falcin is dangaros. He beeted up my fathur and alos me and my bruther and the Robans and Iek neded 2 teem up lotsa tims in r gaems to stop his evul planes."
Gutza: MORE MATH JOKES!
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 7.
Gutza: Hey wait. "beeted up?" "lek?" Now she's using vegetables in her typos.
"Its ok" ised "i hav powars frum God that i can us 2 defet him." "tahts cool" Lucina sed.
Gutza: The author is definately a Mary Sue at this point.
Gutza: Also Lucina sounded like Aradia for a moment. "0h 0kay."
TwinBuilder: Captain Falcon's your brother...?
Pit: And Marth, her brother, has Solid Snake for a father.
So i wented 2 the areena 2 fit Capital Falcone. It wuz a 1-on-1 fite on teh fecal defenestration stag tahts teh stag withot anethin expect the flor 2 standon. Wen the mach beganed Capten Falken runed up2 me.
TwinBuilder & Pit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
TwinBuilder: "FECAL DEFENESTRATION????" That's it. This fic has achieved critical failure levels. There's no way this is not a trollfic.
BNGCTYR: I think it is. Then again, Poe's law.
BNGCTYR: That is basically just throwing **** out the window.
"FALKIN..." he sed. I new he wuz gona us his Folcan Pinch atak witch wold reely hurt me if I didant us my powars frum God 2 activat my final smosh. So i tred 2 do that BUTT NOTING HAPANED!!!
TwinBuilder: So your Final Smash is Splash.
BNGCTYR: Yes. Also it hasn't been established how whe would be able to use her final smosh yet.
Pit: YES, THE MARY SUE IS POWERLESS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BNGCTYR: Also, final smosh. All things considered, I'd be slightly sad if it was the final. Even with my indifference to the channels.
"... PONCH!!!" Kappa Vulcan sed. I wuz hit by teh atak and flyed of the stag and lots 1 of my liefs. I repared on a platfoam abov the stag butit vaneshed.
Pit: We're doing two stock or three stock?
BNGCTYR: *Shrugs.*
BNGCTYR: Also. Kappa Vulcan. So he's now a mythical creature that's either a Roman god or an alien from Star Trek.
"ONO!" I sed "HOW CANI WIN THES FITE WITHOT MY GOD POWARS!!!"
BNGCTYR: Blasphemy.
Pit: Erm...With your Forward Smash? You should have a moveset.
BNGCTYR: (SHE DOESN'T)
BNGCTYR: (UNDERSTAND THE GAME)
"Dont giv up Sara!" Lucina sed "I beleev in u!"
Pit: Meanwhile, we don't.
Gutza: Also this fic is also a cat poster.
"Ya I beleev in u 2" Sholk sed "defeet taht bluddy wankar Capton Falcan." Sudanly a basbol bat apared on the stag and I garbed it. I did that theen wer u start glowen with the basbol bat and than hit reely hard.
Pit: Captain Falcon dodged it easily because it takes close to a second to charge.
Gutza: AND AGAIN WITH THE BLOODIES!
That cause Capten Falken 2 fly of the stag and los a lief so we wer both evan. Than I ussed mor items to keep up with him until we both onely had 1 lief left. Sudanly, a smash bell apared. "MWA HA HA!!!" Captan Falcan sed "Im gona us thes 2 beet u!!!" He startad hitten the Smash Bal 2 try 2 getit to brake. Butthan a fan apared and i throwed it to knock Capten Falcen away frum the smash baal and braked it myslef.
Gutza: Butthan? Is that a new character? And why has Taco Bell rebranded itself to Smash Bell.
Pit: Something Something DLC.
BNGCTYR: So.... she stopped it. Wonderful.
Pit: The fan wasn't in Smash 4! WHAT IS THIS FAILURE?
BNGCTYR: She said it earlier. She hadn't gotten it yet.
I wuz finaly abel 2 us my finale smash witch i did and it mad me tun in2 an angle liek b4 and I noked Capton Falkan of the stag agen and wan the mach. "Yay u 1" Lucina and Sholk runned up 2 me wen the fite was ovar.
TwinBuilder: So... A winner is you? And you turned into an angel too! I guess you used your obtuse powers to save the day? MATH JOKES MADE: 8.
BNGCTYR: You misspelled angle.
"Ya but theres treble!" I sed "my God powars r gon!!!" "Ono! That must be becuz God is captar by Satin" Lucina sed. "Bluddy Hall!" Sholk sed "who had u defeet Satin and saev God and Jesas withot ur god powars!"
TwinBuilder: Oh, Treble's still here. Pit, do you know when Bass comes in?
BNGCTYR: I already brought some bass in. It's precooked.
*Estimated Arrival of Bass: Probably 4 chapters or something*
Pit: Oh good.
Gutza: Also, why did she have her god powers previously even though God was locked up by then?
"I dont no ill hav 2 thenk of sumthin" I sed. Sudanly tho a reely big evul guy flyed up. It wuz the evul guy frum the end of the vido that shoed that Sholk wode be in Smash Broas. I dont no wat his naem is or wat he loks liek, butt if u no who he is than he loks exectly liek his dose in Sholks gaem.
Gutza: SUDDENLY METAL FACE!
Pit: Google "Xenoblade bosses"! HOW HARD IS IT?
BNGCTYR: She doesn't know what game he's from. I hope.
Al i no is taht he is relly big (becuz he has a big shado) and hecan fly. "Ono! Its teh bad guy frum my gam!" Sholk sed. Accept he sed the bad guys naym becuz he new it.
BNGCTYR: So... Metal Face? Zanza? That other guy between Assface and Godhead? Hmm... hold on. Egil, right. Him. But in all seriousness, she's probably talking about Mumkhar.
"MwaHaHa! Kween Lazerbath and Harey Potar sent me 2 bluddy captar Sara so that Lauren can rap her!" The Bad Guy sed.
TwinBuilder: So the Queen of England is a Transformer, and her alternate mode is a bath that is full of extremely deadly lasers. ...Yep. This thing has passed critical failure and is spiraling into the abyss as I type. Hundreds of sirens are blaring because this is a full-blown emergency, as if everything that is holy is begging for this thing not to be read.
TwinBuilder: But the only way we can beat this thing's curse is by MSTing to completion. It is our job. And so that's what we're gonna do.
Gutza: Let's do this guys. Let's make this happen.
BNGCTYR: Wait, Lauren's going to rap someone? Huh. We really need to compile a list of sick raps that went unmade.MISSED RAP POTENTIAL : 2
"Ur a bluddy wankar!" Sholk sed. "No ur a bluddy wankar!" the bad guy sed becuz they wer both Britesh.
Gutza: ENOUGH WITH THE BLOODIES ALREADY!
Pit: Sure, blame the voice actors!
Shark runed at teh badguy and tred 2 hit him with the Tornado sord butt the badguy noked the majak sord awey and then hit Sholk 2 nok him awey in a difrant director. Than Lucina tred 2 fite him butt he beet her 2. I new if i didant do sumthin the badguy wode win soi runed ovar and grabed the Monsanto frum the grond and hit the badguy a buncha tims withit.
Pit: "Shark runed at teh badguy..." Sounds metal.
BNGCTYR: The tornado sword... Hm. TOP SPOILERS HERE.
Gutza: Shark? Tornado sword? That means only one thing. SHARKNADO!
BNGCTYR: No. Also, it's actually more of a cyclone.
Gutza: Also, why does she keep saying butt instead of but?
TwinBuilder: Bad grammar. That or rule of funny.
Gutza: Hey wait! Now Monstanto owns the Monado? What are they going to acquire next? The Master Sword?
Pit: OBJECTION! Only Shulk can hold the Monado! The only way Dunban could use it is his sheer power, and even then he lost an arm!
BNGCTYR: Well, the true reason is somewhat unclear. It's implied that all you actually need is a pure heart and the desire to live and all that jazz. Also, Alvis.
"Stop doen that u wankar!" he sed. Butt son it wuz cleer i wode beet him so he gived up and flyed awey. Lucina and Sholk gotted up and I gived Sholk his sord bak. "Ono so the bad guy from my gaem is teemin up with all teh otter evul pepole! This is bluddy turible!" Sholk sed.
Gutza: So now Shulk has the ...SORD as well as the Monado. Wonderful.
Pit: I TOLD YOU MAN, I TOLD YOU ABOUT GRAMMER.
BNGCTYR: IT KEEPS HAPPENING.
BNGCTYR: No, he just has A sord. Also, the otter evul pepole. Great. A bunch of evil otter dongs
"I no rite!" Lucina sed "we ned 2 thenk of sumthin."
Gutza: So Lucina's illiterate?
BNGCTYR: No, she's left-handed. Or ambidextrous. Or ambisinistrous. Or left-brained. Even though the lb/rb thing is kind of possibly fake.
"Maybe wecan thenk easer if we go get sum fode. Ucan breen ur bofrend and ur brothar and ur brothars gurlfrend" I sed.
Gutza: By "wecan" I assume she means Wiccan? That's probably not what it means, but I'm doing that just for Rule of Funny.
BNGCTYR: Also, sum fode.
TwinBuilder: Eh, I guess that counts. MATH JOKES MADE: 9.
Pit: No words needed.
"Ok" Lucina sed. So Lucina and Me and Sholk and Mart and the 2 Robans wented 2 chikfela 2 talk abot wat we shold do 2 fite the evul pepole. Also we donated extar munny 2 tha chickfela so they cold stop teh gay ajenda.
TwinBuilder: Chickfela - Proud homophobes.
BNGCTYR: I think they actually are. Chik-Fil-A, that is.
Pit: I guess the ride will never end for us, will it?
BNGCTYR: Also, chickfela is short for chickfelatio. Yes, that's misspelled, but par for the course honestly.
Gutza: Also Marth has become an employee of Wal-Mart. Or Quik-E-Mart. Or Whatever-Mart.
TwinBuilder: No. No it will not. So, I guess we should stop here, this page is getting pretty long! If you've read this far, then good job. You've managed to get enjoyment out of three chapters of horrible grammar and mindless drivel. Maybe the other chapters will improve? ...Nah, who am I kidding. They won't.
TwinBuilder: If any of you want us to continue doing this, then say so! We'll see if it works out.
BNGCTYR: Also, chickfela is short for chickfelatio. Yes, that's misspelled, but par for the course honestly.
TwinBuilder: What a note to end on.
Pit: Tune in next time to see: Mental Face, Nothing but Exposition for a chapter, and us again.
BNGCTYR: Wait really? Mental Face? So she DID learn. A bit.
Gutza: The More You Know...
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
4/30/2014
Posts:
72
Location:
The Nether (of course!)
Minecraft:
SolidMastR
Xbox:
No, just no
PSN:
ManiacMastR
Member Details
How do I join things like this? The reason I didn't join originally was because I thought this was going on YouTube or something and we were actually commentating.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
THE PROPHECY SEEMED FAR AWAY
BUT FINALLY WE'VE REACHED THE DAY
GIVE UP THE PAST, EMBRACE THE STRANGE
EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT WILL CHANGE
So me, Insert Generic Username, gutza, and even Twinbuilder did a thing today.
WARNING: Spoiler is very very large, view if you have ~20 minutes to burn.
Pit: Welcome to Studio 89.6, kids. This is going to be a long and hard thing to do, so you might wanna buckle your pants. Everything you like about the Smash Bros. characters and the series they come from will be burned alive. Hell has frozen over, and we're going to have to trash this if we want to fix the ruins of the world we live in.
Pit: ...Okay, that was overexaggerated, but still! This is the worst...of the absolute worst. Grammar has died, every series has been butchered to levels unseen, and the pure disrespect for some of the characters is...astonishing, to say the least.
gutza1: Oh god. Is it really that bad? I've read some badfics like My Immortal, Burston's Sorrow, Hart Shaped Love, and HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
This is Subpar Smush Broas Mishan Forum God 2: The REEL Sekwel! LAUREN U R DUM (Actual full title), as MSTed by the likes of:
- PitTheAngel
- gutza1
-TwinBuilder
And - BLUH NOT GONNA CONFORM TO YOUR RULES
We're bolding the text of the actual fic to separate it from our notes.
-Chapter 1- Summary: I finelly got my passwerd bak from Lauren and I goten my acont agen and channed the paswerd 2 wat it was b4 so Lauren cant do meen lesban stuf in my acont liek wat she did 2 my Atak on Titen storey.
Pit: Oh. Oh nooooooooooooooooo-
Gutza: Meen lesban?
Gutza: Eh wha?
TwinBuilder: Meen lesban... I guess she can't do mean lesbian?
BNGCTYR: Wait, lesban sounds like a country.
BNGCTYR: Is there a lesban?
This storey is the reel sekwel 2 my furst storey the otter sekwal didant hapen. Im writan this becuz the nude Smash Bro gaem will be hear in oktaver.
Gutza: Wait. You're saying that there's an original story as well as a disowned sequel? I wonder how bad the latter must have been to for the creator to retcon it.
TwinBuilder: It must have been really bad. LIke, REALLY bad.
Pit: And there's an Attack on Titan fanfic the same author wrote.
TwinBuilder: Eh, I don't know too much about Attack on Titan, so I won't check it out. I DO know Smash though, so I guess this is the place to be right now.
BNGCTYR: What. "Nude smash bro game."
BNGCYTR: Perfect. Just. Perfect.
BNGCTYR: Also, otter sekwal. Why's there a sequel with otters.
Notes: Thes is the firt chaptar of my storey.
Pit: I'd recommend you keep it at that.
TwinBuilder: Agreed.
Oregonally i wuz guna hav Mart be the on who cums in my scole buthan I didant finesh writen this yestarday and than a noo caractor was putin the gaem today.
TwinBuilder: ..."who cums in my scole"? What?
BNGCTYR:"Who comes to my school" or something like that.
Pit: That's wrong on so many levels.
TwinBuilder: I guess that makes sense.
I think its a sine frum God to maek him my bofrend in thes storey.
TwinBuilder: Yep, it's definitely the trigonometric function of an angle. MATH JOKES MADE: 1
ALSO LAUREN U R DUM!!! AND I SAWED A PICTAR OF UR NEW GURLFREN ON THE INTRANET AND EVAN THOS SHES NOT FAT (LIEK I WAS HOPPING) SHE DOSE HAS A RELLY BIG NOES SO I THANK SHE MITE BE JEWASH!!!
BNGCTYR: "Jewash". So is it a car wash or...
Pit: Big Nose = Jewish. YEP MAKES SENSE TO ME CUE THE DANCE PARTY.
TwinBuilder: Not Jewish. JewAsh. There's the difference. I think they have a compulsion to always do laundry or something.
BNGCTYR: Ah, that makes sense. I think.
Gutza: So now Ash is Jewish? Already we have some Canon Defilement here.
BNGCTYR: Or... hm. Which Ash? Pokemon? There's an Ash in Evil Dead or something right?
Gutza: Considering how bad this fic will probably be, I think there's a chance Evil Dead Ash will show up.
I CAN SEE WY UR STIL USEN EVUL MAJAK 2 PUT LESBAN THOTS IN MY HED AND TRY TO TURD ME IN2 A LESBAN BECUZ IM SO MUK PRITTER THAN THE GURL UR DATEN NOW!!! BUT IT WONT WERK IM STRATE!!!
Gutza: This is a fanfic, right?
Gutza: So why is there a bunch of RL relationship issue stuff going on?
Pit: Allow me to tell you about the wonders of the Self-Insert.
Gutza: You have got to be kidding me. There's actually a Self-Insert character in the fic?
Pit: Not just A self-insert, Self-insertS.
BNGCTYR: Isn't that a standard for bad fanfic? You act surprised.
Gutza: This is going to be the funniest thing I've ever read.
TwinBuilder: Also let's take a look at the fact that she thinks evil magic can be used to put lesbian thoughts in her head.Yep, that definitely makes that "meen lesban" stuff up there earlier "lesbian". I'm not too sure what to think about that.
Gutza: Also, how can someone "turd" you into a lesbian?
BNGCTYR: What, no.
BNGCTYR: It's clearly *LESBAN* majak.
BNGCTYR: Still not sure what a lesban is though.
Chapter 1: CHAP 1 SARAS NEW ADVENTUR CHAP 1: SARAS NOO ANVENTOR
BNGCTYR: Alright this is just a new low.
TwinBuilder: Didn't she already say "chapter 1" like two times? Regardless, I can't wait for this noo adventur! It will be so exiciting, no doubt!
Gutza: I guess there's no adventure then. Okay guys, time to pack up and go home.
Pit: No, it's a new adventur.
BNGCTYR: Shrug. Maybe she just never learned how to make copypasta.
BNGCTYR: Also what's an anventor? Is it like some kind of inventor of anvils or something.
I was siten in my meth class and my techar Mr Sandarsan was bein reely meen.
TwinBuilder: Meth class. We're going all Breaking Bad up in here, let's go.
Pit: Oh boo hoo, how bad your life is.
Liek jus 2day in reel lief aksed be a queston abot wy my handwritan on my homwerk is difrant frum on my furst quiz of the scole yer (wich startad thes weak) and also wy i do relly wel on homewurk but not on the quoz. I cant tel him that my parants do my homwork 4 me becuz Barak Obaba maed haven ur parrots do ur homewrok ilegal.
Gutza: Apparently the author is a Tea Party member.
Pit: This isn't the first time we're going to hear her moan about Law in this thing.
BNGCTYR: Oh joy. Also damn her parents must be really tolerant of stupidity. Or at least feigning stupidity.
TwinBuilder: Well, I think her parents would just say anything that she said. They're parrots.
Barak Obana prolly maed that law so id fale hi scule and hav 2 get a pore persan job and liv on welfar.
TwinBuilder: To summarize, her teacher is accusing her of cheating and saying she doesn't do good on quizzes, and then she says that Obama made parents helping children with homework illegal and then accuses Obama of rigging the law so that she would fail school. This seems completely and totally legit.
BNGCTYR: ... That's stupid. Nobody wants the government to pay more money.
But teh joaks on him becuz my parants r so ric that ican liv on inharatans 4evar and wil nevar be a lazey pore persan evan if i dont graduat hi skool (wich i wil becuz im reely smart).
Gutza: In what universe are you "reely smart?"
BNGCTYR: "Inharatans." Great.
TwinBuilder: Why don't you use this "smart" to do good on quizzes?
BNGCTYR:So is being "reely smart" mean that you're good at fishing.
Pit: OBJECTION! Back in the first fic, you asked why Monkeys exist if Monkeys came from humans!
BNGCTYR: Isn't that backwards.
Also Mr Sandarsan is blak so he prolly votad 2 Oboma and wants 2 taek munny frum my famely adn otter hard-werking job craters 2 putin Obomacar so that pore pepole wil get helth car they dont deserv becuz they didant ern it.
TwinBuilder: Using "putin" and "Oboma" in the same sentence is never a good sign. Screw math jokes, I think politics jokes should be more accurate. POLITICS JOKES MADE: 1
BNGCTYR: Or just make every misspelling that seems close enough to a pokemon.
BNGCTYR: VOTAD, THE NEWD FRIEND.
BNGCTYR: Wait mixing my refs there.
So aneyway Mr Sandarsan was bein meen 2 me by callen on me 2 anser a queston frum the homwork that my parants did 4 me.
Pit: Then you should be able to answer it.
Butthan alof a sudan the dore to the clasrom opaned. I thot it mite be God lik last tim but it wasant. It was a britesh guy with blod hare who had a majek sord caled the Morondo. It was Sholk.
Gutza: SUDDENLY, SHULK!
Gutza: Also, Shulk has a Scottish accent. He's Scottish.
TwinBuilder: You thought it might be god... like last time... Last time, you got involved with GOD? So... I GUESS this is Shulk? He's supposed to be holding the Monado.
BNGCTYR: The "Morondo." Perfect. So it has the power to change the future but only when wielded by idiots. HUZZAH FOR THE MORONDO. OR SOMETHING.
Pit: Yeah it's Shulk because she said in the summary someone new came in today, and Shulk appeared during that.
"Sara u ned 2 blody cum with me!" he sed, "Lauren lerned the secrete way in2 hevan wen she wuz pretendin 2 be ur frend. And she tolled Satin and Oboma and they concurred hevan and captared God and Jesas!!! Its impassible 4 God and Jesas to turd gay becuz they cant sin but if there captared than Satin rools hevan. U ned 2 cum 2 Nentindo wrold agen to fined ot how 2 saev them."
Gutza: This makes Michelle Bachmann look intelligent.
TwinBuilder: To recap - Lauren told Satan and Obama how to get into heaven and now they captured God and Jesus. Implying that Obama is literally the devil. POLITICS JOKES MADE: 2? Does that even count?
BNGCTYR: Sooo... "Blody cum". Perfect. LET'S HAVE SEX DURING YOUR PERIOD, SAID SHULK.
Pit: Yeah, she thinks Shulk is british because of his voice actor, and will use Bloody so very much.
BNGCTYR: That's not even how it works.
"Ok" i sed and i gotted ot of my seet. "SIT UR FYNE WITE A** DOWN SARA OR ILL BUSTA CAPE IN UR A**" sed Mr Sandarsan and he puled ot a gun and holded it on its sid ganestar stile.
Pit [Sandarsan]: Yes, Sara, sit down after a crazy blond guy with a sword busts in and tells you some exposition.
BNGCTYR: He'll bust a cape. Man, screw this guy, capes are too awesome to waste on her ****.
TwinBuilder: No! No capes! Do you remember what happened to the last guy who wore a cape? That's right, he got caught in an airplane engine and DIED. This guy speaks the truth.
BNGCTYR: That's Syndrome? Huh. Incredibles reference.
Gutza: We know.
"No u bloddy wont u wankar (I lerned that thats in insalt in the langage they speek in Briten so Sholk isant gonna cal me a wankar)" Sholk sed.
Gutza: Also, British people do not say "bloody" every 3 words.
Pit: Yes, it is an insult, but it's not exactly to be used a lot.
BNGCTYR: "The language they speak in Britain." PERFECT.
"UR KRAKEN A** BETAR GES AGEN!" Mr Sandarsan sed. He shat a ballet at Sholk but Sholk can c the futur and he dogged it. "AW HELL NAW!!!" Mr Sandarsan shat moar ballets at Sholk butt Sholk dogged tham 2. Than we herd sirans and the polise came all over the room. "YO F*** THE POLITE DOG!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed. "Mr Sandarsan u hav a warant ot 4 ur arest 4 rappen wite womans and 4 sellin drug" the polaris chef sed.
TwinBuilder: This guy loves rappen wite womans. Since that sounds like "rapping", I'm taking that as an excuse to say that this guy raps with white womans. Someone compose a rap about this please, since I have no rapping skills.
Gutza: Maybe he and and Dave Strider should get into a rap-off.
Gutza: Oh wait. He'll probably start raping random women.
BNGCTYR: He shat a bullet. I am incredibly disturbed now. Just how powerful is his ****?
TwinBuilder: ...Oh god. Then Shulk "dogged" it, so I guess he turned the bullet into a dog?
Pit: This is gonna suck a lot.
BNGCTYR: Also. This implies that this world has ether in it. Or it's a simulation. Weird.
"ULL NEVAR TAEK ME ALIV HOMELY!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed. Mr Sandarsan gotted in2 a gunfite with the polise and they shat him ded. Than the polise laft the rome and the otter stoodants gotted ot boks 4 studey hal becuz we cant hav matt class if r matt teecher is ded.
Gutza: Since when does this take place in Rome?
Pit: Expect "shat" to replace "shot". It's just better to lower your expectations that way.
TwinBuilder: Rule of School #381: You can't have matt class if your matt teacher is dead.
BNGCTYR: "They shat him dead." PERFECT.
BNGCTYR: Also, Matt class.
"Sara u ned 2 hurray" Sholk sed "God and Jesas stil ned 2 be saev!" "rite" i sed "also ho did u no abot God and Jesas bean captar?"
Pit: Because he's Mr. Exposition.
BNGCTYR: Damn right we need to hurray. That teacher's dead, and not too soon for shitting at people and traumatizing them.
Gutza: Also, you know that you've screwed if you got captured against your will and you're an OMNIPOTENT BEING!
"Well im Britesh and the Queen of Briten is teeming up with Harey Potar to try to maek Amerka in2 Britesh colons agen.
TwinBuilder: Uh.
Pit: What. Just What.
BNGCTYR: OH NO THE BRITISH ARE TURNING US INTO PUNCTUATION.
Gutza: I thought this was a Super Smash Bros fic. But now it's trying to imitate Hart Shaped Love.
Gutza: And in Hart Shaped Love, Bella and Edward go to Hogwarts and meet the TF2 mercs.
BNGCTYR: Do we care.
Also Harey Potar tot Lauren the majek that shes usen 2 try 2 tune u in2 a lesban. Butt im a gud Britesh persan who wants 2 stap the Queen and Harey Potar and Satin and Obaka and Lauren" Sholk sed "Im prolly gunna run 4 King of Briten in the nex elecshan 2 maek Briten a gud plase wer everone is Christen and we no that Amerka is betar than us. Also u can be my gurlfrend so that u can be Queen and also so everone will no ur not a lesban."
Gutza: I thought Britan and the US are good friends?
TwinBuilder: UH.
BNGCTYR: So... Lesban. Great.
"Ok" I sed. So Me and Sholk wented back 2 teh Smahs Manshan 4 an advenitur. Wat wil hapen next? Fined ot next cahpter!!!
TwinBuilder: I'm not sure I want to... But I can't stop reading. I MUST figure out how this continues. And hey, if all of you want to find out too (and I can't fathom why), then say so! Who knows, we might do chapter 2.
-Chapter 2-
TwinBuilder: ...Oh damn, we are.
Summary: Sara meats teh new carectors and the oled ons.
BNGCTYR: Hold on can we catch up on chapter 1.
Pit: No please, just meat the new ones.
BNGCTYR: ... Uh. Even the dudes? Not gonna imply anything, but...
Im so gald that its satarday so i dont hav 2 be in skool.
Pit: We weren't.
BNGCTYR: Also, you should really retake about every class you've ever taken. Ever.
I toled my dad that i was wory abot failen and he sad it was ok becuz he donats lotsa munny 2 my scool and can tel the prinsipol and teh skool bored that he wont donat unles my grad is chang 2 passen grad if im failen.
Pit: I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
TwinBuilder: So you didn't tell him that your math teacher died?
BNGCTYR: No, it's a MATT teacher. He presumably teaches about matts.
TwinBuilder: So you didn't tell him your MATT teacher died?? That's even worse!
Gutza: This shows why she's not "reely smart."
BNGCTYR: Also, the teacher's first name is matt. Excellent, filling gaps in canon. Also, I guess that this is technically a bit where she talks about stuff OOC. Not that it's easy to distinguish the two.
He sed he did this for my bruther a few tims wen he wuz in hi skool and the skool alweys gived him wat he aksed. Im so hapey im not gona fale.
TwinBuilder: Okay then.
CHAP 2: NO PAPAL AT THE MANSHAN
Pit: I don't want any Papal at my mansion either.
BNGCTYR: Well, maybe this means that this mansion isn't papal. As in related to the pope.
Gutza: Yeah, the Pope probably doesn't want to go near the place.
Me and Sholk went 2 Nentendo wolrd and wer otsid the manshan. "U ned 2 meat al the pepole hera" Sholk sed. "I alredy met moast of tham last tim" I sed. "Wel i wasant hear yet and so wer a buncha otter pepole so u ned 2 met tham" Sholk sed. Sudanly Mark waked ot of the manshan adn ther was a gurl withim who loked kinda liek him. She wuz relly pritty and had long bloo hare.
TwinBuilder: Is... Is that Marth?
Gutza: The author is now officially lesbian.
Pit: I knew that.
BNCTYR: *Lesban.
"Hi agen Sara" March sed "this is my sitar Lucina." "Hi Lucina im Sara" I sed "ur relly pritty."
TwinBuilder: Wow, so you can spell Lucina's name right, but nothing else.
Pit: OBJECTION! Lucina is Marth's ancestor! Didn't you try to reaserch?
BNGCTYR: "Sitar." THE NEWEST POKEMON COMING SOON TO POKEMON ... uh... hm.
"Tanks r pritty 2" Lucina sed. Also Mark and Lucinas dad wasant Snaek. It wuz sum bloo-hared guy who got beated up by Capten Failcan (who i gess is the badguy of there gaems). C im doen reserk of thes caractors.
Gutza: I didn't know Captain Falcon was an Epic Fail.
Pit: Oh, and i forgot to mention Solid Snake is Marth's father because that's how you rewrite reality.
TwinBuilder: ...What?
BNGCTYR: So Lucina is attracted to tanks. I'm kind of worried about the implications, but also the timefcuks involved in that.
Gutza: Maybe I could lure her with a Mauss.
I remambered last tim i wuz otsid the manshan and meeted a gurl and she cal me pritty. "Ur not a lesban, r u?" I sed. "No ima Christen!" Lucina seemd made that i acused her of bein a lesban.
Gutza: Apparently the author is one of those Anti-gay fundamentalist wingnuts.
TwinBuilder: It seems the author is NOT officially a lesbian.
BNGCTYR: Ahem. This is entirely misrepresenting lesbans. I'm not even going to say it's lesbians, because this spelling thing happens waaaaaay too often.
Pit: I should mention everyone who isn't a Christian is automatically Atheist and Gay/Lesbian.
BNGCTYR: What. Well at least she's not being antiislamic? I guess? Hm.
"Thats grate. Im sorey i akused u of bein a lesban" I sed. "Its ok i no u ned 2 be carefol or lesbans will rap u" Lucina sed, "butt i cant be a lesban becuz i hav a bofrend his naem is Roban."
TwinBuilder: Remember kids, be careful or lesbians will rape you in your sleep!
BNGCTYR: No, "Rap". She's gonna drop the sickest rhymes on her fat ****. MISSED RAP POTENTIAL: 1
Pit: That's funny, i made my Lucina in FE: A's boyfriend Chrom.
"O ya that remineds me i hav a gurlfrend now her naem is also Roben. The 2 Robans r twin brothur an sistar butt there parants wernt vary kreatev with naems. We cal them Goy Roben and Gurl Roben so taht it isant confusen" Mark sed "also sens i hav a difrant gurlfrend we cant dat."
Gutza: Robens? So they're going to rob you?
Pit: I think i'm losing a few brain cells.
BNGCTYR: Wait, wait, wait. SO LUCINA IS A LESBIAN, SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! wait no darn. it's mark.
TwinBuilder: You mean "lesban". Honestly, I thought you'd be the guy who'd correct everyone on that.
BNGCTYR: But see, a lesban is something different from a lesbian. I'm not sure what it is, so I can't be sure whether someone is a lesban.
"Thats ok Sholk is my bofrend now" I sed. "Grate" Mart sed. I new Lucina and me wode be grate frends. Adn weall wented in2 manshan 2 meat everone eels. Tha new pepole in teh Manshan wer intrestin. I meated Lucinas bofrend Buy Roban and Marks gurlfrend Gorl Roban. Ther was Mageman who had a canen on his arm liek Samas so maybee hes Samas litol bruther (hoapfely he isant gay).
TwinBuilder: Don't worry, he's just a tin can. Robots don't have feelings.
BNGCTYR: ...
Ther was Roselena who loked alot liek Peech.
TwinBuilder: Makes sense.
Pit: Because Rosalina is a clone of Peach. The same logic that is used to make the conclusion that White Mage is a clone of Peach.
BNGCTYR: But... She kind of isn't. She's got a different moveset.
Ther was also Viloger and Wifit Tranner and ther wer boy an girl vershans of bothof them. Ther was Pakman and Grenigga who wer poakmons so they beleeved in evilushon and not God so i didant maek frends with them.
TwinBuilder: Okay, I'm done. Pac-Man's a Pokemon, and Greninja's Grenigga. Everything makes sense here, definitely nothing wrong. Yep. Totally.
Gutza: Another thing the author doesn't get: Just because you believe in God doesn't mean you have to not believe in evolution.
Pit: Back in the original, Pokemon were Pacman, so that's a thing.
BNGCTYR: Man, she's already made enough Pokemon without these horrible fakes.
Ther was the Mi Fitters and ther were three of tham with difrant wepons. Ther was Pollutena who is an angle liek Pete butt shes his bos or sumthin so i gess shes a moar impotent angle. And ther was Litol Mike who is a boxcar.
TwinBuilder: The thing about Litol Mike is that HE ALWAYS ROLLS BOXCARS.
BNGCTYR: Props for the ref, but what's "Litol"?
TwinBuilder: Little. I guess?
Pit: Wait. You're saying that PALUTENA is now an ANGEL because you're religiously stupid? RAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
[Pit was detained by the other 3 MSTers. Please hold.]
BNGCTYR: No you weren't. Nothing to see here.
Gutza: She's not an angel. She's an angle. Probably a right angle.
BNGCTYR: Really, because I thought she was too obtuse for that. Huh.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 2.
Gutza: Hey, it is Pi Day.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 3. You just gotta keep track of this stuff.
BNGCTYR: No you weren't. Nothing to see here.
Ther miteof ben otter pepole 2 but the gaem isnt relees yet so idont no abot tham if ur reeden this aftar the gaem is ot pritend i sed the otter pepole wer there.
Gutza: I don't think that Nintendo could have snuck in a bunch of unknown characters. It would take a tactical genius... CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
Pit: If you're not sure of everyone, why did you go with it?
BNGCTYR: The otter people. So in summation. There are secret otter characters. WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.
I also notesed al the otter pepole frum b4 wer there. Ther wer sum difrances liek Icke was moar musklar now (maybee he was sad that Lauren was lyen 2 him al along wen tehy wer daten and she was reely a lesban so he werked ot alot becuz thats how reel mans deel with sadnas. Thats the resin hes mor musklar in thes storey). Sudanly Mastar Hanned flyed up. "Sara ur bak" he didant seem hapey 2 see me becuz hes a jurk who lissans 2 teh librul medea and beleevs al teh gud thins i do r ron.
TwinBuilder: Well, Master Hand's definitely a jerk. But only when he's being controlled by Tabuu. ...There's something suspiscious going on here. Is Tabuu feeding liberal media to Master Hand?? POLITICS JOKES MADE: 2.
BNGCTYR: Hmmmmmmmm. Also the real question is whose hands these are.
Pit: Tabuu is Obama.
Gutza: That makes sense in this fanfic's world.
"Do u stil hav my paparwerk frum last tim" I sed. "No i throwed it ot becuz idont liek u" Mister Han sed. "Ur Meen!" I sed.
TwinBuilder: Look at the quality burns going on here. Simply beautiful. This is the type of stuff you think of in the shower hours after someone actually says something mean to you, and you're like, "Damn, I wish I thought of that sooner!"
BNGCTYR: Who's Meen? I prefer Meenah, but that's just personal preference.
BNGCTYR: Also, too close to home man. Too close.
"Its ok I new thes wode hapaned becuz ican c the futur so I alredy filed ot ur paparwerk agen 4 u" Sholk sed "u jus ned 2 sine it."
TwinBuilder: Another trigonometric function of an angle! MATH JOKES MADE: 4.
BNGCTYR: But what was the angle? Palutena? So she needs to make a sine of Palutena. Or Pit.
TwinBuilder: Pit was an angle too...
Pit: Let's not forget Sara becoming an angle with her final smash!
"Yay" I sed. I sined the paparwerk and ther was noting Mastar Hen cold do 2 kep me otta tha Manshan.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 5.
Gutza: Yet more sineing. That's not even a word.
Pit: But there's nothing preventing me from keeping you out.
BNGCTYR: MORE SINES!
"Ucan shar a rome with Lucina i gess" Matterhorn sed.
Gutza: IS THE AUTHOR A LESBAN OR NOT?!
BNGCTYR: You know, she honestly doesn't work hard enough to deny being a lesbian. Or a lesban.
BNGCTYR: You'd think she wants to take a different room.
"Grate!" I sed. "Cum with me" Lucina sed. So we wented 2 her room wichwas also my room now. I new theens wode be grate and id be able to saev God and Jesas.
Pit: Oooooooooooooh.
TwinBuilder: Oh yes... You're both going to enter the same room together... And then, no one will be able to stop you from doing whatever it is you're about to do that definitely isn't private. Totally. I bet that's definitely not what the author had in mind when making this fic. So, I guess it's on to Chapter 3...?
Gutza: My sex scene sensors are detecting something...
BNGCTYR: My gaydar is going wild here! It's off the charts! RADARS DON'T EVEN HAVE CHARTS HOW IS THIS HAPPENING
-Chapter 3-
Summary: Sara fites a battal with Capten Falkne butt thins dont go accordion 2 plane.
TwinBuilder: Yep.
BNGCTYR: Whats a battal
Pit [General]: EXECUTE PLAN ACCORDION! IT'S FOOLPROOF!
Gutza: Wait. I just realized something.
Gutza: A plane is something in geometry.
TwinBuilder: Oh yeah. This accordion is definitely lying on a flat, two-dimensional surface. MATH JOKES MADE: 6.
BNGCTYR: Hmm, does that really count as a math joke.
Notes: I see sum libruls r hear 2 say bad thins abot my storey agen.
Pit: OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN.
U libruls sholdnt doo that butt i thenk moast pepole who say my storey is bad r bean pade by Barak Obema (prolly with taxpayar dolers, 2) too maek me lok bad.
BNGCTYR: "U libruls sholdn't doo that butt." Best line ever.
Gutza: Another anti-LBGT statement.
BNGCTYR: Uh what.
Pit: We wouldn't get paid enough to do this for an infinite salary.
BNGCTYR: Especially because that would wreck the economy. But then again surely you have some understanding of math.
Jus remamber that evan tho ur getan alota munny now ur stil gona go2 hell wen u die becuz of this.
Pit: But what if we don't believe in hell? GET REKT SCRUB.
Gutza: Or what if the liberals are just people who happen to have different viewpoints instead of Satan's soldiers?
Also 2moro is laber day so i get a tree day weakand. Tahts grate, butt i maye hav treble updat thes storey 2moro becuz on my mom wants me to leev the hose and hane ot with on of my frends 2moro wile my dads at werk.
Gutza: IT'S TREE DAY! PLANT SOME PINES AND OAKS!
Pit: Should i make the Mega Man 7 joke or not?
TwinBuilder: Go ahead.
Pit: But where's Bass? *Pit holds up a paper drawing of Bass*
BNGCTYR: *Holds up a bass* *Holds up the other kind of bass.*
Gutza: Wait a second. "wile my dads at werk?" Does that mean that HER DAD IS WILY?
BNGCTYR: No,
Maybee shes planen sumthin for my birtday (witch is wendsday! Im so exited! Im gona be fiften yers odd).
TwinBuilder: You're fourteen years old and yet your grammar is that of a five year old. Huh.
BNGCTYR: "witch is wendsday." I'm confused about this statement. Wait, nevermind, got it. There's a witch named wendsday. She's excited because her parents caught the witch and they can burn them to death now.
CHAP 3: SOMETHEN IS RONG
Pit: Yeah, this fanfic is what's rong.
I was sleapen in Me and Lucinas bed wen sudanly the lodspekar in the rome startad talken with Mastur Hands vois.
TwinBuilder: Oh, so they skipped the sex scene.
Pit: Aww, i wanted to film that!
BNGCTYR: Darn. Wait no that would be pedophilia. We'd go to jail. Definitively not bad.
"Sara u ned 2 cum 2 teh arina 2 fite Capten Falken" Mastar Honda sed.
BNGCTYR: "Sara u need 2 cum." Excellent.
Pit: Master Honda? I hardly even know-a!
Gutza: Maybe Master Honda should let her ride him (double enterende because a Honda is a car).
Me and Lucina waked up. "U ned 2 fite Capton Futon?" Lucina sed "u ned to be carfol Capten Falcin is dangaros. He beeted up my fathur and alos me and my bruther and the Robans and Iek neded 2 teem up lotsa tims in r gaems to stop his evul planes."
Gutza: MORE MATH JOKES!
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 7.
Gutza: Hey wait. "beeted up?" "lek?" Now she's using vegetables in her typos.
"Its ok" ised "i hav powars frum God that i can us 2 defet him." "tahts cool" Lucina sed.
Gutza: The author is definately a Mary Sue at this point.
Gutza: Also Lucina sounded like Aradia for a moment. "0h 0kay."
TwinBuilder: Captain Falcon's your brother...?
Pit: And Marth, her brother, has Solid Snake for a father.
So i wented 2 the areena 2 fit Capital Falcone. It wuz a 1-on-1 fite on teh fecal defenestration stag tahts teh stag withot anethin expect the flor 2 standon. Wen the mach beganed Capten Falken runed up2 me.
TwinBuilder & Pit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
TwinBuilder: "FECAL DEFENESTRATION????" That's it. This fic has achieved critical failure levels. There's no way this is not a trollfic.
BNGCTYR: I think it is. Then again, Poe's law.
BNGCTYR: That is basically just throwing **** out the window.
"FALKIN..." he sed. I new he wuz gona us his Folcan Pinch atak witch wold reely hurt me if I didant us my powars frum God 2 activat my final smosh. So i tred 2 do that BUTT NOTING HAPANED!!!
TwinBuilder: So your Final Smash is Splash.
BNGCTYR: Yes. Also it hasn't been established how whe would be able to use her final smosh yet.
Pit: YES, THE MARY SUE IS POWERLESS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BNGCTYR: Also, final smosh. All things considered, I'd be slightly sad if it was the final. Even with my indifference to the channels.
"... PONCH!!!" Kappa Vulcan sed. I wuz hit by teh atak and flyed of the stag and lots 1 of my liefs. I repared on a platfoam abov the stag butit vaneshed.
Pit: We're doing two stock or three stock?
BNGCTYR: *Shrugs.*
BNGCTYR: Also. Kappa Vulcan. So he's now a mythical creature that's either a Roman god or an alien from Star Trek.
"ONO!" I sed "HOW CANI WIN THES FITE WITHOT MY GOD POWARS!!!"
BNGCTYR: Blasphemy.
Pit: Erm...With your Forward Smash? You should have a moveset.
BNGCTYR: (SHE DOESN'T)
BNGCTYR: (UNDERSTAND THE GAME)
"Dont giv up Sara!" Lucina sed "I beleev in u!"
Pit: Meanwhile, we don't.
Gutza: Also this fic is also a cat poster.
"Ya I beleev in u 2" Sholk sed "defeet taht bluddy wankar Capton Falcan." Sudanly a basbol bat apared on the stag and I garbed it. I did that theen wer u start glowen with the basbol bat and than hit reely hard.
Pit: Captain Falcon dodged it easily because it takes close to a second to charge.
Gutza: AND AGAIN WITH THE BLOODIES!
That cause Capten Falken 2 fly of the stag and los a lief so we wer both evan. Than I ussed mor items to keep up with him until we both onely had 1 lief left. Sudanly, a smash bell apared. "MWA HA HA!!!" Captan Falcan sed "Im gona us thes 2 beet u!!!" He startad hitten the Smash Bal 2 try 2 getit to brake. Butthan a fan apared and i throwed it to knock Capten Falcen away frum the smash baal and braked it myslef.
Gutza: Butthan? Is that a new character? And why has Taco Bell rebranded itself to Smash Bell.
Pit: Something Something DLC.
BNGCTYR: So.... she stopped it. Wonderful.
Pit: The fan wasn't in Smash 4! WHAT IS THIS FAILURE?
BNGCTYR: She said it earlier. She hadn't gotten it yet.
I wuz finaly abel 2 us my finale smash witch i did and it mad me tun in2 an angle liek b4 and I noked Capton Falkan of the stag agen and wan the mach. "Yay u 1" Lucina and Sholk runned up 2 me wen the fite was ovar.
TwinBuilder: So... A winner is you? And you turned into an angel too! I guess you used your obtuse powers to save the day? MATH JOKES MADE: 8.
BNGCTYR: You misspelled angle.
"Ya but theres treble!" I sed "my God powars r gon!!!" "Ono! That must be becuz God is captar by Satin" Lucina sed. "Bluddy Hall!" Sholk sed "who had u defeet Satin and saev God and Jesas withot ur god powars!"
TwinBuilder: Oh, Treble's still here. Pit, do you know when Bass comes in?
BNGCTYR: I already brought some bass in. It's precooked.
*Estimated Arrival of Bass: Probably 4 chapters or something*
Pit: Oh good.
Gutza: Also, why did she have her god powers previously even though God was locked up by then?
"I dont no ill hav 2 thenk of sumthin" I sed. Sudanly tho a reely big evul guy flyed up. It wuz the evul guy frum the end of the vido that shoed that Sholk wode be in Smash Broas. I dont no wat his naem is or wat he loks liek, butt if u no who he is than he loks exectly liek his dose in Sholks gaem.
Gutza: SUDDENLY METAL FACE!
Pit: Google "Xenoblade bosses"! HOW HARD IS IT?
BNGCTYR: She doesn't know what game he's from. I hope.
Al i no is taht he is relly big (becuz he has a big shado) and hecan fly. "Ono! Its teh bad guy frum my gam!" Sholk sed. Accept he sed the bad guys naym becuz he new it.
BNGCTYR: So... Metal Face? Zanza? That other guy between Assface and Godhead? Hmm... hold on. Egil, right. Him. But in all seriousness, she's probably talking about Mumkhar.
"MwaHaHa! Kween Lazerbath and Harey Potar sent me 2 bluddy captar Sara so that Lauren can rap her!" The Bad Guy sed.
TwinBuilder: So the Queen of England is a Transformer, and her alternate mode is a bath that is full of extremely deadly lasers. ...Yep. This thing has passed critical failure and is spiraling into the abyss as I type. Hundreds of sirens are blaring because this is a full-blown emergency, as if everything that is holy is begging for this thing not to be read.
TwinBuilder: But the only way we can beat this thing's curse is by MSTing to completion. It is our job. And so that's what we're gonna do.
Gutza: Let's do this guys. Let's make this happen.
BNGCTYR: Wait, Lauren's going to rap someone? Huh. We really need to compile a list of sick raps that went unmade.MISSED RAP POTENTIAL : 2
"Ur a bluddy wankar!" Sholk sed. "No ur a bluddy wankar!" the bad guy sed becuz they wer both Britesh.
Gutza: ENOUGH WITH THE BLOODIES ALREADY!
Pit: Sure, blame the voice actors!
Shark runed at teh badguy and tred 2 hit him with the Tornado sord butt the badguy noked the majak sord awey and then hit Sholk 2 nok him awey in a difrant director. Than Lucina tred 2 fite him butt he beet her 2. I new if i didant do sumthin the badguy wode win soi runed ovar and grabed the Monsanto frum the grond and hit the badguy a buncha tims withit.
Pit: "Shark runed at teh badguy..." Sounds metal.
BNGCTYR: The tornado sword... Hm. TOP SPOILERS HERE.
Gutza: Shark? Tornado sword? That means only one thing. SHARKNADO!
BNGCTYR: No. Also, it's actually more of a cyclone.
Gutza: Also, why does she keep saying butt instead of but?
TwinBuilder: Bad grammar. That or rule of funny.
Gutza: Hey wait! Now Monstanto owns the Monado? What are they going to acquire next? The Master Sword?
Pit: OBJECTION! Only Shulk can hold the Monado! The only way Dunban could use it is his sheer power, and even then he lost an arm!
BNGCTYR: Well, the true reason is somewhat unclear. It's implied that all you actually need is a pure heart and the desire to live and all that jazz. Also, Alvis.
"Stop doen that u wankar!" he sed. Butt son it wuz cleer i wode beet him so he gived up and flyed awey. Lucina and Sholk gotted up and I gived Sholk his sord bak. "Ono so the bad guy from my gaem is teemin up with all teh otter evul pepole! This is bluddy turible!" Sholk sed.
Gutza: So now Shulk has the ...SORD as well as the Monado. Wonderful.
Pit: I TOLD YOU MAN, I TOLD YOU ABOUT GRAMMER.
BNGCTYR: IT KEEPS HAPPENING.
BNGCTYR: No, he just has A sord. Also, the otter evul pepole. Great. A bunch of evil otter dongs
"I no rite!" Lucina sed "we ned 2 thenk of sumthin."
Gutza: So Lucina's illiterate?
BNGCTYR: No, she's left-handed. Or ambidextrous. Or ambisinistrous. Or left-brained. Even though the lb/rb thing is kind of possibly fake.
"Maybe wecan thenk easer if we go get sum fode. Ucan breen ur bofrend and ur brothar and ur brothars gurlfrend" I sed.
Gutza: By "wecan" I assume she means Wiccan? That's probably not what it means, but I'm doing that just for Rule of Funny.
BNGCTYR: Also, sum fode.
TwinBuilder: Eh, I guess that counts. MATH JOKES MADE: 9.
Pit: No words needed.
"Ok" Lucina sed. So Lucina and Me and Sholk and Mart and the 2 Robans wented 2 chikfela 2 talk abot wat we shold do 2 fite the evul pepole. Also we donated extar munny 2 tha chickfela so they cold stop teh gay ajenda.
TwinBuilder: Chickfela - Proud homophobes.
BNGCTYR: I think they actually are. Chik-Fil-A, that is.
Pit: I guess the ride will never end for us, will it?
BNGCTYR: Also, chickfela is short for chickfelatio. Yes, that's misspelled, but par for the course honestly.
Gutza: Also Marth has become an employee of Wal-Mart. Or Quik-E-Mart. Or Whatever-Mart.
TwinBuilder: No. No it will not. So, I guess we should stop here, this page is getting pretty long! If you've read this far, then good job. You've managed to get enjoyment out of three chapters of horrible grammar and mindless drivel. Maybe the other chapters will improve? ...Nah, who am I kidding. They won't.
TwinBuilder: If any of you want us to continue doing this, then say so! We'll see if it works out.
BNGCTYR: Also, chickfela is short for chickfelatio. Yes, that's misspelled, but par for the course honestly.
TwinBuilder: What a note to end on.
Pit: Tune in next time to see: Mental Face, Nothing but Exposition for a chapter, and us again.
BNGCTYR: Wait really? Mental Face? So she DID learn. A bit.
Gutza: The More You Know...
END OF ACT 1
~
"TwinBuilder: You're fourteen years old and yet your grammar is that of a five year old. Huh." Twin, I'll have you know that I am 5 years old and I am very offended by this statement. Also, who's BNGCTYR?
Opinions?
I think I'll have the Mainframe tear the roof off, then I'll use 10 Battle Techniques on the King and he'll die.
GODDAMN IT
STUPID GENDERFLIP VIRUS
Maybe Scratch is building up to something big.
What?
What?
GODDAMN IT
STUPID GENDERFLIP VIRUS
Although, I personally think that letting the Mainframe show up was a bad idea, as that means that twin's either got some serious nope'ing to do unfairly, or Scratch is going to die 6 challenges too early.
DTG Co Labs
Nope, sorry guys, no Destroy the Godmodder relevant stuff here...
At least, not yet.
WARNING: Spoiler is very very large, view if you have ~20 minutes to burn.
Pit: Welcome to Studio 89.6, kids. This is going to be a long and hard thing to do, so you might wanna buckle your pants. Everything you like about the Smash Bros. characters and the series they come from will be burned alive. Hell has frozen over, and we're going to have to trash this if we want to fix the ruins of the world we live in.
Pit: ...Okay, that was overexaggerated, but still! This is the worst...of the absolute worst. Grammar has died, every series has been butchered to levels unseen, and the pure disrespect for some of the characters is...astonishing, to say the least.
gutza1: Oh god. Is it really that bad? I've read some badfics like My Immortal, Burston's Sorrow, Hart Shaped Love, and HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
This is Subpar Smush Broas Mishan Forum God 2: The REEL Sekwel! LAUREN U R DUM (Actual full title), as MSTed by the likes of:
- PitTheAngel
- gutza1
-TwinBuilder
And - BLUH NOT GONNA CONFORM TO YOUR RULES
We're bolding the text of the actual fic to separate it from our notes.
-Chapter 1-
Summary:
I finelly got my passwerd bak from Lauren and I goten my acont agen and channed the paswerd 2 wat it was b4 so Lauren cant do meen lesban stuf in my acont liek wat she did 2 my Atak on Titen storey.
Pit: Oh. Oh nooooooooooooooooo-
Gutza: Meen lesban?
Gutza: Eh wha?
TwinBuilder: Meen lesban... I guess she can't do mean lesbian?
BNGCTYR: Wait, lesban sounds like a country.
BNGCTYR: Is there a lesban?
This storey is the reel sekwel 2 my furst storey the otter sekwal didant hapen. Im writan this becuz the nude Smash Bro gaem will be hear in oktaver.
Gutza: Wait. You're saying that there's an original story as well as a disowned sequel? I wonder how bad the latter must have been to for the creator to retcon it.
TwinBuilder: It must have been really bad. LIke, REALLY bad.
Pit: And there's an Attack on Titan fanfic the same author wrote.
TwinBuilder: Eh, I don't know too much about Attack on Titan, so I won't check it out. I DO know Smash though, so I guess this is the place to be right now.
BNGCTYR: What. "Nude smash bro game."
BNGCYTR: Perfect. Just. Perfect.
BNGCTYR: Also, otter sekwal. Why's there a sequel with otters.
Notes:
Thes is the firt chaptar of my storey.
Pit: I'd recommend you keep it at that.
TwinBuilder: Agreed.
Oregonally i wuz guna hav Mart be the on who cums in my scole buthan I didant finesh writen this yestarday and than a noo caractor was putin the gaem today.
TwinBuilder: ..."who cums in my scole"? What?
BNGCTYR:"Who comes to my school" or something like that.
Pit: That's wrong on so many levels.
TwinBuilder: I guess that makes sense.
I think its a sine frum God to maek him my bofrend in thes storey.
TwinBuilder: Yep, it's definitely the trigonometric function of an angle. MATH JOKES MADE: 1
ALSO LAUREN U R DUM!!! AND I SAWED A PICTAR OF UR NEW GURLFREN ON THE INTRANET AND EVAN THOS SHES NOT FAT (LIEK I WAS HOPPING) SHE DOSE HAS A RELLY BIG NOES SO I THANK SHE MITE BE JEWASH!!!
BNGCTYR: "Jewash". So is it a car wash or...
Pit: Big Nose = Jewish. YEP MAKES SENSE TO ME CUE THE DANCE PARTY.
TwinBuilder: Not Jewish. JewAsh. There's the difference. I think they have a compulsion to always do laundry or something.
BNGCTYR: Ah, that makes sense. I think.
Gutza: So now Ash is Jewish? Already we have some Canon Defilement here.
BNGCTYR: Or... hm. Which Ash? Pokemon? There's an Ash in Evil Dead or something right?
Gutza: Considering how bad this fic will probably be, I think there's a chance Evil Dead Ash will show up.
I CAN SEE WY UR STIL USEN EVUL MAJAK 2 PUT LESBAN THOTS IN MY HED AND TRY TO TURD ME IN2 A LESBAN BECUZ IM SO MUK PRITTER THAN THE GURL UR DATEN NOW!!! BUT IT WONT WERK IM STRATE!!!
Gutza: This is a fanfic, right?
Gutza: So why is there a bunch of RL relationship issue stuff going on?
Pit: Allow me to tell you about the wonders of the Self-Insert.
Gutza: You have got to be kidding me. There's actually a Self-Insert character in the fic?
Pit: Not just A self-insert, Self-insertS.
BNGCTYR: Isn't that a standard for bad fanfic? You act surprised.
Gutza: This is going to be the funniest thing I've ever read.
TwinBuilder: Also let's take a look at the fact that she thinks evil magic can be used to put lesbian thoughts in her head.Yep, that definitely makes that "meen lesban" stuff up there earlier "lesbian". I'm not too sure what to think about that.
Gutza: Also, how can someone "turd" you into a lesbian?
BNGCTYR: What, no.
BNGCTYR: It's clearly *LESBAN* majak.
BNGCTYR: Still not sure what a lesban is though.
Chapter 1: CHAP 1 SARAS NEW ADVENTUR
CHAP 1: SARAS NOO ANVENTOR
BNGCTYR: Alright this is just a new low.
TwinBuilder: Didn't she already say "chapter 1" like two times? Regardless, I can't wait for this noo adventur! It will be so exiciting, no doubt!
Gutza: I guess there's no adventure then. Okay guys, time to pack up and go home.
Pit: No, it's a new adventur.
BNGCTYR: Shrug. Maybe she just never learned how to make copypasta.
BNGCTYR: Also what's an anventor? Is it like some kind of inventor of anvils or something.
I was siten in my meth class and my techar Mr Sandarsan was bein reely meen.
TwinBuilder: Meth class. We're going all Breaking Bad up in here, let's go.
Pit: Oh boo hoo, how bad your life is.
Liek jus 2day in reel lief aksed be a queston abot wy my handwritan on my homwerk is difrant frum on my furst quiz of the scole yer (wich startad thes weak) and also wy i do relly wel on homewurk but not on the quoz. I cant tel him that my parants do my homwork 4 me becuz Barak Obaba maed haven ur parrots do ur homewrok ilegal.
Gutza: Apparently the author is a Tea Party member.
Pit: This isn't the first time we're going to hear her moan about Law in this thing.
BNGCTYR: Oh joy. Also damn her parents must be really tolerant of stupidity. Or at least feigning stupidity.
TwinBuilder: Well, I think her parents would just say anything that she said. They're parrots.
Barak Obana prolly maed that law so id fale hi scule and hav 2 get a pore persan job and liv on welfar.
TwinBuilder: To summarize, her teacher is accusing her of cheating and saying she doesn't do good on quizzes, and then she says that Obama made parents helping children with homework illegal and then accuses Obama of rigging the law so that she would fail school. This seems completely and totally legit.
BNGCTYR: ... That's stupid. Nobody wants the government to pay more money.
But teh joaks on him becuz my parants r so ric that ican liv on inharatans 4evar and wil nevar be a lazey pore persan evan if i dont graduat hi skool (wich i wil becuz im reely smart).
Gutza: In what universe are you "reely smart?"
BNGCTYR: "Inharatans." Great.
TwinBuilder: Why don't you use this "smart" to do good on quizzes?
BNGCTYR:So is being "reely smart" mean that you're good at fishing.
Pit: OBJECTION! Back in the first fic, you asked why Monkeys exist if Monkeys came from humans!
BNGCTYR: Isn't that backwards.
Also Mr Sandarsan is blak so he prolly votad 2 Oboma and wants 2 taek munny frum my famely adn otter hard-werking job craters 2 putin Obomacar so that pore pepole wil get helth car they dont deserv becuz they didant ern it.
TwinBuilder: Using "putin" and "Oboma" in the same sentence is never a good sign. Screw math jokes, I think politics jokes should be more accurate. POLITICS JOKES MADE: 1
BNGCTYR: Or just make every misspelling that seems close enough to a pokemon.
BNGCTYR: VOTAD, THE NEWD FRIEND.
BNGCTYR: Wait mixing my refs there.
So aneyway Mr Sandarsan was bein meen 2 me by callen on me 2 anser a queston frum the homwork that my parants did 4 me.
Pit: Then you should be able to answer it.
Butthan alof a sudan the dore to the clasrom opaned. I thot it mite be God lik last tim but it wasant. It was a britesh guy with blod hare who had a majek sord caled the Morondo. It was Sholk.
Gutza: SUDDENLY, SHULK!
Gutza: Also, Shulk has a Scottish accent. He's Scottish.
TwinBuilder: You thought it might be god... like last time... Last time, you got involved with GOD? So... I GUESS this is Shulk? He's supposed to be holding the Monado.
BNGCTYR: The "Morondo." Perfect. So it has the power to change the future but only when wielded by idiots. HUZZAH FOR THE MORONDO. OR SOMETHING.
Pit: Yeah it's Shulk because she said in the summary someone new came in today, and Shulk appeared during that.
"Sara u ned 2 blody cum with me!" he sed, "Lauren lerned the secrete way in2 hevan wen she wuz pretendin 2 be ur frend. And she tolled Satin and Oboma and they concurred hevan and captared God and Jesas!!! Its impassible 4 God and Jesas to turd gay becuz they cant sin but if there captared than Satin rools hevan. U ned 2 cum 2 Nentindo wrold agen to fined ot how 2 saev them."
Gutza: This makes Michelle Bachmann look intelligent.
TwinBuilder: To recap - Lauren told Satan and Obama how to get into heaven and now they captured God and Jesus. Implying that Obama is literally the devil. POLITICS JOKES MADE: 2? Does that even count?
BNGCTYR: Sooo... "Blody cum". Perfect. LET'S HAVE SEX DURING YOUR PERIOD, SAID SHULK.
Pit: Yeah, she thinks Shulk is british because of his voice actor, and will use Bloody so very much.
BNGCTYR: That's not even how it works.
"Ok" i sed and i gotted ot of my seet.
"SIT UR FYNE WITE A** DOWN SARA OR ILL BUSTA CAPE IN UR A**" sed Mr Sandarsan and he puled ot a gun and holded it on its sid ganestar stile.
Pit [Sandarsan]: Yes, Sara, sit down after a crazy blond guy with a sword busts in and tells you some exposition.
BNGCTYR: He'll bust a cape. Man, screw this guy, capes are too awesome to waste on her ****.
TwinBuilder: No! No capes! Do you remember what happened to the last guy who wore a cape? That's right, he got caught in an airplane engine and DIED. This guy speaks the truth.
BNGCTYR: That's Syndrome? Huh. Incredibles reference.
Gutza: We know.
"No u bloddy wont u wankar (I lerned that thats in insalt in the langage they speek in Briten so Sholk isant gonna cal me a wankar)" Sholk sed.
Gutza: Also, British people do not say "bloody" every 3 words.
Pit: Yes, it is an insult, but it's not exactly to be used a lot.
BNGCTYR: "The language they speak in Britain." PERFECT.
"UR KRAKEN A** BETAR GES AGEN!" Mr Sandarsan sed. He shat a ballet at Sholk but Sholk can c the futur and he dogged it.
"AW HELL NAW!!!" Mr Sandarsan shat moar ballets at Sholk butt Sholk dogged tham 2. Than we herd sirans and the polise came all over the room.
"YO F*** THE POLITE DOG!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed.
"Mr Sandarsan u hav a warant ot 4 ur arest 4 rappen wite womans and 4 sellin drug" the polaris chef sed.
TwinBuilder: This guy loves rappen wite womans. Since that sounds like "rapping", I'm taking that as an excuse to say that this guy raps with white womans. Someone compose a rap about this please, since I have no rapping skills.
Gutza: Maybe he and and Dave Strider should get into a rap-off.
Gutza: Oh wait. He'll probably start raping random women.
BNGCTYR: He shat a bullet. I am incredibly disturbed now. Just how powerful is his ****?
TwinBuilder: ...Oh god. Then Shulk "dogged" it, so I guess he turned the bullet into a dog?
Pit: This is gonna suck a lot.
BNGCTYR: Also. This implies that this world has ether in it. Or it's a simulation. Weird.
"ULL NEVAR TAEK ME ALIV HOMELY!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed.
Mr Sandarsan gotted in2 a gunfite with the polise and they shat him ded. Than the polise laft the rome and the otter stoodants gotted ot boks 4 studey hal becuz we cant hav matt class if r matt teecher is ded.
Gutza: Since when does this take place in Rome?
Pit: Expect "shat" to replace "shot". It's just better to lower your expectations that way.
TwinBuilder: Rule of School #381: You can't have matt class if your matt teacher is dead.
BNGCTYR: "They shat him dead." PERFECT.
BNGCTYR: Also, Matt class.
"Sara u ned 2 hurray" Sholk sed "God and Jesas stil ned 2 be saev!"
"rite" i sed "also ho did u no abot God and Jesas bean captar?"
Pit: Because he's Mr. Exposition.
BNGCTYR: Damn right we need to hurray. That teacher's dead, and not too soon for shitting at people and traumatizing them.
Gutza: Also, you know that you've screwed if you got captured against your will and you're an OMNIPOTENT BEING!
"Well im Britesh and the Queen of Briten is teeming up with Harey Potar to try to maek Amerka in2 Britesh colons agen.
TwinBuilder: Uh.
Pit: What. Just What.
BNGCTYR: OH NO THE BRITISH ARE TURNING US INTO PUNCTUATION.
Gutza: I thought this was a Super Smash Bros fic. But now it's trying to imitate Hart Shaped Love.
Gutza: And in Hart Shaped Love, Bella and Edward go to Hogwarts and meet the TF2 mercs.
BNGCTYR: Do we care.
Also Harey Potar tot Lauren the majek that shes usen 2 try 2 tune u in2 a lesban. Butt im a gud Britesh persan who wants 2 stap the Queen and Harey Potar and Satin and Obaka and Lauren" Sholk sed "Im prolly gunna run 4 King of Briten in the nex elecshan 2 maek Briten a gud plase wer everone is Christen and we no that Amerka is betar than us. Also u can be my gurlfrend so that u can be Queen and also so everone will no ur not a lesban."
Gutza: I thought Britan and the US are good friends?
TwinBuilder: UH.
BNGCTYR: So... Lesban. Great.
"Ok" I sed. So Me and Sholk wented back 2 teh Smahs Manshan 4 an advenitur. Wat wil hapen next? Fined ot next cahpter!!!
TwinBuilder: I'm not sure I want to... But I can't stop reading. I MUST figure out how this continues. And hey, if all of you want to find out too (and I can't fathom why), then say so! Who knows, we might do chapter 2.
-Chapter 2-
TwinBuilder: ...Oh damn, we are.
Summary:
Sara meats teh new carectors and the oled ons.
BNGCTYR: Hold on can we catch up on chapter 1.
Pit: No please, just meat the new ones.
BNGCTYR: ... Uh. Even the dudes? Not gonna imply anything, but...
Im so gald that its satarday so i dont hav 2 be in skool.
Pit: We weren't.
BNGCTYR: Also, you should really retake about every class you've ever taken. Ever.
I toled my dad that i was wory abot failen and he sad it was ok becuz he donats lotsa munny 2 my scool and can tel the prinsipol and teh skool bored that he wont donat unles my grad is chang 2 passen grad if im failen.
Pit: I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
TwinBuilder: So you didn't tell him that your math teacher died?
BNGCTYR: No, it's a MATT teacher. He presumably teaches about matts.
TwinBuilder: So you didn't tell him your MATT teacher died?? That's even worse!
Gutza: This shows why she's not "reely smart."
BNGCTYR: Also, the teacher's first name is matt. Excellent, filling gaps in canon. Also, I guess that this is technically a bit where she talks about stuff OOC. Not that it's easy to distinguish the two.
He sed he did this for my bruther a few tims wen he wuz in hi skool and the skool alweys gived him wat he aksed. Im so hapey im not gona fale.
TwinBuilder: Okay then.
CHAP 2: NO PAPAL AT THE MANSHAN
Pit: I don't want any Papal at my mansion either.
BNGCTYR: Well, maybe this means that this mansion isn't papal. As in related to the pope.
Gutza: Yeah, the Pope probably doesn't want to go near the place.
Me and Sholk went 2 Nentendo wolrd and wer otsid the manshan.
"U ned 2 meat al the pepole hera" Sholk sed.
"I alredy met moast of tham last tim" I sed.
"Wel i wasant hear yet and so wer a buncha otter pepole so u ned 2 met tham" Sholk sed.
Sudanly Mark waked ot of the manshan adn ther was a gurl withim who loked kinda liek him. She wuz relly pritty and had long bloo hare.
TwinBuilder: Is... Is that Marth?
Gutza: The author is now officially lesbian.
Pit: I knew that.
BNCTYR: *Lesban.
"Hi agen Sara" March sed "this is my sitar Lucina."
"Hi Lucina im Sara" I sed "ur relly pritty."
TwinBuilder: Wow, so you can spell Lucina's name right, but nothing else.
Pit: OBJECTION! Lucina is Marth's ancestor! Didn't you try to reaserch?
BNGCTYR: "Sitar." THE NEWEST POKEMON COMING SOON TO POKEMON ... uh... hm.
"Tanks r pritty 2" Lucina sed. Also Mark and Lucinas dad wasant Snaek. It wuz sum bloo-hared guy who got beated up by Capten Failcan (who i gess is the badguy of there gaems). C im doen reserk of thes caractors.
Gutza: I didn't know Captain Falcon was an Epic Fail.
Pit: Oh, and i forgot to mention Solid Snake is Marth's father because that's how you rewrite reality.
TwinBuilder: ...What?
BNGCTYR: So Lucina is attracted to tanks. I'm kind of worried about the implications, but also the timefcuks involved in that.
Gutza: Maybe I could lure her with a Mauss.
I remambered last tim i wuz otsid the manshan and meeted a gurl and she cal me pritty.
"Ur not a lesban, r u?" I sed.
"No ima Christen!" Lucina seemd made that i acused her of bein a lesban.
Gutza: Apparently the author is one of those Anti-gay fundamentalist wingnuts.
TwinBuilder: It seems the author is NOT officially a lesbian.
BNGCTYR: Ahem. This is entirely misrepresenting lesbans. I'm not even going to say it's lesbians, because this spelling thing happens waaaaaay too often.
Pit: I should mention everyone who isn't a Christian is automatically Atheist and Gay/Lesbian.
BNGCTYR: What. Well at least she's not being antiislamic? I guess? Hm.
"Thats grate. Im sorey i akused u of bein a lesban" I sed.
"Its ok i no u ned 2 be carefol or lesbans will rap u" Lucina sed, "butt i cant be a lesban becuz i hav a bofrend his naem is Roban."
TwinBuilder: Remember kids, be careful or lesbians will rape you in your sleep!
BNGCTYR: No, "Rap". She's gonna drop the sickest rhymes on her fat ****. MISSED RAP POTENTIAL: 1
Pit: That's funny, i made my Lucina in FE: A's boyfriend Chrom.
"O ya that remineds me i hav a gurlfrend now her naem is also Roben. The 2 Robans r twin brothur an sistar butt there parants wernt vary kreatev with naems. We cal them Goy Roben and Gurl Roben so taht it isant confusen" Mark sed "also sens i hav a difrant gurlfrend we cant dat."
Gutza: Robens? So they're going to rob you?
Pit: I think i'm losing a few brain cells.
BNGCTYR: Wait, wait, wait. SO LUCINA IS A LESBIAN, SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! wait no darn. it's mark.
TwinBuilder: You mean "lesban". Honestly, I thought you'd be the guy who'd correct everyone on that.
BNGCTYR: But see, a lesban is something different from a lesbian. I'm not sure what it is, so I can't be sure whether someone is a lesban.
"Thats ok Sholk is my bofrend now" I sed.
"Grate" Mart sed.
I new Lucina and me wode be grate frends. Adn weall wented in2 manshan 2 meat everone eels.
Tha new pepole in teh Manshan wer intrestin. I meated Lucinas bofrend Buy Roban and Marks gurlfrend Gorl Roban. Ther was Mageman who had a canen on his arm liek Samas so maybee hes Samas litol bruther (hoapfely he isant gay).
TwinBuilder: Don't worry, he's just a tin can. Robots don't have feelings.
BNGCTYR: ...
Ther was Roselena who loked alot liek Peech.
TwinBuilder: Makes sense.
Pit: Because Rosalina is a clone of Peach. The same logic that is used to make the conclusion that White Mage is a clone of Peach.
BNGCTYR: But... She kind of isn't. She's got a different moveset.
Ther was also Viloger and Wifit Tranner and ther wer boy an girl vershans of bothof them. Ther was Pakman and Grenigga who wer poakmons so they beleeved in evilushon and not God so i didant maek frends with them.
TwinBuilder: Okay, I'm done. Pac-Man's a Pokemon, and Greninja's Grenigga. Everything makes sense here, definitely nothing wrong. Yep. Totally.
Gutza: Another thing the author doesn't get: Just because you believe in God doesn't mean you have to not believe in evolution.
Pit: Back in the original, Pokemon were Pacman, so that's a thing.
BNGCTYR: Man, she's already made enough Pokemon without these horrible fakes.
Ther was the Mi Fitters and ther were three of tham with difrant wepons. Ther was Pollutena who is an angle liek Pete butt shes his bos or sumthin so i gess shes a moar impotent angle. And ther was Litol Mike who is a boxcar.
TwinBuilder: The thing about Litol Mike is that HE ALWAYS ROLLS BOXCARS.
BNGCTYR: Props for the ref, but what's "Litol"?
TwinBuilder: Little. I guess?
Pit: Wait. You're saying that PALUTENA is now an ANGEL because you're religiously stupid? RAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
[Pit was detained by the other 3 MSTers. Please hold.]
BNGCTYR: No you weren't. Nothing to see here.
Gutza: She's not an angel. She's an angle. Probably a right angle.
BNGCTYR: Really, because I thought she was too obtuse for that. Huh.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 2.
Gutza: Hey, it is Pi Day.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 3. You just gotta keep track of this stuff.
BNGCTYR: No you weren't. Nothing to see here.
Ther miteof ben otter pepole 2 but the gaem isnt relees yet so idont no abot tham if ur reeden this aftar the gaem is ot pritend i sed the otter pepole wer there.
Gutza: I don't think that Nintendo could have snuck in a bunch of unknown characters. It would take a tactical genius... CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
Pit: If you're not sure of everyone, why did you go with it?
BNGCTYR: The otter people. So in summation. There are secret otter characters. WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.
I also notesed al the otter pepole frum b4 wer there. Ther wer sum difrances liek Icke was moar musklar now (maybee he was sad that Lauren was lyen 2 him al along wen tehy wer daten and she was reely a lesban so he werked ot alot becuz thats how reel mans deel with sadnas. Thats the resin hes mor musklar in thes storey).
Sudanly Mastar Hanned flyed up.
"Sara ur bak" he didant seem hapey 2 see me becuz hes a jurk who lissans 2 teh librul medea and beleevs al teh gud thins i do r ron.
TwinBuilder: Well, Master Hand's definitely a jerk. But only when he's being controlled by Tabuu. ...There's something suspiscious going on here. Is Tabuu feeding liberal media to Master Hand?? POLITICS JOKES MADE: 2.
BNGCTYR: Hmmmmmmmm. Also the real question is whose hands these are.
Pit: Tabuu is Obama.
Gutza: That makes sense in this fanfic's world.
"Do u stil hav my paparwerk frum last tim" I sed.
"No i throwed it ot becuz idont liek u" Mister Han sed.
"Ur Meen!" I sed.
TwinBuilder: Look at the quality burns going on here. Simply beautiful. This is the type of stuff you think of in the shower hours after someone actually says something mean to you, and you're like, "Damn, I wish I thought of that sooner!"
BNGCTYR: Who's Meen? I prefer Meenah, but that's just personal preference.
BNGCTYR: Also, too close to home man. Too close.
"Its ok I new thes wode hapaned becuz ican c the futur so I alredy filed ot ur paparwerk agen 4 u" Sholk sed "u jus ned 2 sine it."
TwinBuilder: Another trigonometric function of an angle! MATH JOKES MADE: 4.
BNGCTYR: But what was the angle? Palutena? So she needs to make a sine of Palutena. Or Pit.
TwinBuilder: Pit was an angle too...
Pit: Let's not forget Sara becoming an angle with her final smash!
"Yay" I sed. I sined the paparwerk and ther was noting Mastar Hen cold do 2 kep me otta tha Manshan.
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 5.
Gutza: Yet more sineing. That's not even a word.
Pit: But there's nothing preventing me from keeping you out.
BNGCTYR: MORE SINES!
"Ucan shar a rome with Lucina i gess" Matterhorn sed.
Gutza: IS THE AUTHOR A LESBAN OR NOT?!
BNGCTYR: You know, she honestly doesn't work hard enough to deny being a lesbian. Or a lesban.
BNGCTYR: You'd think she wants to take a different room.
"Grate!" I sed.
"Cum with me" Lucina sed. So we wented 2 her room wichwas also my room now. I new theens wode be grate and id be able to saev God and Jesas.
Pit: Oooooooooooooh.
TwinBuilder: Oh yes... You're both going to enter the same room together... And then, no one will be able to stop you from doing whatever it is you're about to do that definitely isn't private. Totally. I bet that's definitely not what the author had in mind when making this fic. So, I guess it's on to Chapter 3...?
Gutza: My sex scene sensors are detecting something...
BNGCTYR: My gaydar is going wild here! It's off the charts! RADARS DON'T EVEN HAVE CHARTS HOW IS THIS HAPPENING
-Chapter 3-
Summary:
Sara fites a battal with Capten Falkne butt thins dont go accordion 2 plane.
TwinBuilder: Yep.
BNGCTYR: Whats a battal
Pit [General]: EXECUTE PLAN ACCORDION! IT'S FOOLPROOF!
Gutza: Wait. I just realized something.
Gutza: A plane is something in geometry.
TwinBuilder: Oh yeah. This accordion is definitely lying on a flat, two-dimensional surface. MATH JOKES MADE: 6.
BNGCTYR: Hmm, does that really count as a math joke.
Notes:
I see sum libruls r hear 2 say bad thins abot my storey agen.
Pit: OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN.
U libruls sholdnt doo that butt i thenk moast pepole who say my storey is bad r bean pade by Barak Obema (prolly with taxpayar dolers, 2) too maek me lok bad.
BNGCTYR: "U libruls sholdn't doo that butt." Best line ever.
Gutza: Another anti-LBGT statement.
BNGCTYR: Uh what.
Pit: We wouldn't get paid enough to do this for an infinite salary.
BNGCTYR: Especially because that would wreck the economy. But then again surely you have some understanding of math.
Jus remamber that evan tho ur getan alota munny now ur stil gona go2 hell wen u die becuz of this.
Pit: But what if we don't believe in hell? GET REKT SCRUB.
Gutza: Or what if the liberals are just people who happen to have different viewpoints instead of Satan's soldiers?
Also 2moro is laber day so i get a tree day weakand. Tahts grate, butt i maye hav treble updat thes storey 2moro becuz on my mom wants me to leev the hose and hane ot with on of my frends 2moro wile my dads at werk.
Gutza: IT'S TREE DAY! PLANT SOME PINES AND OAKS!
Pit: Should i make the Mega Man 7 joke or not?
TwinBuilder: Go ahead.
Pit: But where's Bass? *Pit holds up a paper drawing of Bass*
BNGCTYR: *Holds up a bass* *Holds up the other kind of bass.*
Gutza: Wait a second. "wile my dads at werk?" Does that mean that HER DAD IS WILY?
BNGCTYR: No,
Maybee shes planen sumthin for my birtday (witch is wendsday! Im so exited! Im gona be fiften yers odd).
TwinBuilder: You're fourteen years old and yet your grammar is that of a five year old. Huh.
BNGCTYR: "witch is wendsday." I'm confused about this statement. Wait, nevermind, got it. There's a witch named wendsday. She's excited because her parents caught the witch and they can burn them to death now.
CHAP 3: SOMETHEN IS RONG
Pit: Yeah, this fanfic is what's rong.
I was sleapen in Me and Lucinas bed wen sudanly the lodspekar in the rome startad talken with Mastur Hands vois.
TwinBuilder: Oh, so they skipped the sex scene.
Pit: Aww, i wanted to film that!
BNGCTYR: Darn. Wait no that would be pedophilia. We'd go to jail. Definitively not bad.
"Sara u ned 2 cum 2 teh arina 2 fite Capten Falken" Mastar Honda sed.
BNGCTYR: "Sara u need 2 cum." Excellent.
Pit: Master Honda? I hardly even know-a!
Gutza: Maybe Master Honda should let her ride him (double enterende because a Honda is a car).
Me and Lucina waked up.
"U ned 2 fite Capton Futon?" Lucina sed "u ned to be carfol Capten Falcin is dangaros. He beeted up my fathur and alos me and my bruther and the Robans and Iek neded 2 teem up lotsa tims in r gaems to stop his evul planes."
Gutza: MORE MATH JOKES!
TwinBuilder: MATH JOKES MADE: 7.
Gutza: Hey wait. "beeted up?" "lek?" Now she's using vegetables in her typos.
"Its ok" ised "i hav powars frum God that i can us 2 defet him."
"tahts cool" Lucina sed.
Gutza: The author is definately a Mary Sue at this point.
Gutza: Also Lucina sounded like Aradia for a moment. "0h 0kay."
TwinBuilder: Captain Falcon's your brother...?
Pit: And Marth, her brother, has Solid Snake for a father.
So i wented 2 the areena 2 fit Capital Falcone. It wuz a 1-on-1 fite on teh fecal defenestration stag tahts teh stag withot anethin expect the flor 2 standon. Wen the mach beganed Capten Falken runed up2 me.
TwinBuilder & Pit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
TwinBuilder: "FECAL DEFENESTRATION????" That's it. This fic has achieved critical failure levels. There's no way this is not a trollfic.
BNGCTYR: I think it is. Then again, Poe's law.
BNGCTYR: That is basically just throwing **** out the window.
"FALKIN..." he sed. I new he wuz gona us his Folcan Pinch atak witch wold reely hurt me if I didant us my powars frum God 2 activat my final smosh. So i tred 2 do that BUTT NOTING HAPANED!!!
TwinBuilder: So your Final Smash is Splash.
BNGCTYR: Yes. Also it hasn't been established how whe would be able to use her final smosh yet.
Pit: YES, THE MARY SUE IS POWERLESS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BNGCTYR: Also, final smosh. All things considered, I'd be slightly sad if it was the final. Even with my indifference to the channels.
"... PONCH!!!" Kappa Vulcan sed. I wuz hit by teh atak and flyed of the stag and lots 1 of my liefs. I repared on a platfoam abov the stag butit vaneshed.
Pit: We're doing two stock or three stock?
BNGCTYR: *Shrugs.*
BNGCTYR: Also. Kappa Vulcan. So he's now a mythical creature that's either a Roman god or an alien from Star Trek.
"ONO!" I sed "HOW CANI WIN THES FITE WITHOT MY GOD POWARS!!!"
BNGCTYR: Blasphemy.
Pit: Erm...With your Forward Smash? You should have a moveset.
BNGCTYR: (SHE DOESN'T)
BNGCTYR: (UNDERSTAND THE GAME)
"Dont giv up Sara!" Lucina sed "I beleev in u!"
Pit: Meanwhile, we don't.
Gutza: Also this fic is also a cat poster.
"Ya I beleev in u 2" Sholk sed "defeet taht bluddy wankar Capton Falcan."
Sudanly a basbol bat apared on the stag and I garbed it. I did that theen wer u start glowen with the basbol bat and than hit reely hard.
Pit: Captain Falcon dodged it easily because it takes close to a second to charge.
Gutza: AND AGAIN WITH THE BLOODIES!
That cause Capten Falken 2 fly of the stag and los a lief so we wer both evan. Than I ussed mor items to keep up with him until we both onely had 1 lief left. Sudanly, a smash bell apared.
"MWA HA HA!!!" Captan Falcan sed "Im gona us thes 2 beet u!!!"
He startad hitten the Smash Bal 2 try 2 getit to brake. Butthan a fan apared and i throwed it to knock Capten Falcen away frum the smash baal and braked it myslef.
Gutza: Butthan? Is that a new character? And why has Taco Bell rebranded itself to Smash Bell.
Pit: Something Something DLC.
BNGCTYR: So.... she stopped it. Wonderful.
Pit: The fan wasn't in Smash 4! WHAT IS THIS FAILURE?
BNGCTYR: She said it earlier. She hadn't gotten it yet.
I wuz finaly abel 2 us my finale smash witch i did and it mad me tun in2 an angle liek b4 and I noked Capton Falkan of the stag agen and wan the mach.
"Yay u 1" Lucina and Sholk runned up 2 me wen the fite was ovar.
TwinBuilder: So... A winner is you? And you turned into an angel too! I guess you used your obtuse powers to save the day? MATH JOKES MADE: 8.
BNGCTYR: You misspelled angle.
"Ya but theres treble!" I sed "my God powars r gon!!!"
"Ono! That must be becuz God is captar by Satin" Lucina sed.
"Bluddy Hall!" Sholk sed "who had u defeet Satin and saev God and Jesas withot ur god powars!"
TwinBuilder: Oh, Treble's still here. Pit, do you know when Bass comes in?
BNGCTYR: I already brought some bass in. It's precooked.
*Estimated Arrival of Bass: Probably 4 chapters or something*
Pit: Oh good.
Gutza: Also, why did she have her god powers previously even though God was locked up by then?
"I dont no ill hav 2 thenk of sumthin" I sed.
Sudanly tho a reely big evul guy flyed up. It wuz the evul guy frum the end of the vido that shoed that Sholk wode be in Smash Broas. I dont no wat his naem is or wat he loks liek, butt if u no who he is than he loks exectly liek his dose in Sholks gaem.
Gutza: SUDDENLY METAL FACE!
Pit: Google "Xenoblade bosses"! HOW HARD IS IT?
BNGCTYR: She doesn't know what game he's from. I hope.
Al i no is taht he is relly big (becuz he has a big shado) and hecan fly.
"Ono! Its teh bad guy frum my gam!" Sholk sed. Accept he sed the bad guys naym becuz he new it.
BNGCTYR: So... Metal Face? Zanza? That other guy between Assface and Godhead? Hmm... hold on. Egil, right. Him. But in all seriousness, she's probably talking about Mumkhar.
"MwaHaHa! Kween Lazerbath and Harey Potar sent me 2 bluddy captar Sara so that Lauren can rap her!" The Bad Guy sed.
TwinBuilder: So the Queen of England is a Transformer, and her alternate mode is a bath that is full of extremely deadly lasers. ...Yep. This thing has passed critical failure and is spiraling into the abyss as I type. Hundreds of sirens are blaring because this is a full-blown emergency, as if everything that is holy is begging for this thing not to be read.
TwinBuilder: But the only way we can beat this thing's curse is by MSTing to completion. It is our job. And so that's what we're gonna do.
Gutza: Let's do this guys. Let's make this happen.
BNGCTYR: Wait, Lauren's going to rap someone? Huh. We really need to compile a list of sick raps that went unmade.MISSED RAP POTENTIAL : 2
"Ur a bluddy wankar!" Sholk sed.
"No ur a bluddy wankar!" the bad guy sed becuz they wer both Britesh.
Gutza: ENOUGH WITH THE BLOODIES ALREADY!
Pit: Sure, blame the voice actors!
Shark runed at teh badguy and tred 2 hit him with the Tornado sord butt the badguy noked the majak sord awey and then hit Sholk 2 nok him awey in a difrant director. Than Lucina tred 2 fite him butt he beet her 2. I new if i didant do sumthin the badguy wode win soi runed ovar and grabed the Monsanto frum the grond and hit the badguy a buncha tims withit.
Pit: "Shark runed at teh badguy..." Sounds metal.
BNGCTYR: The tornado sword... Hm. TOP SPOILERS HERE.
Gutza: Shark? Tornado sword? That means only one thing. SHARKNADO!
BNGCTYR: No. Also, it's actually more of a cyclone.
Gutza: Also, why does she keep saying butt instead of but?
TwinBuilder: Bad grammar. That or rule of funny.
Gutza: Hey wait! Now Monstanto owns the Monado? What are they going to acquire next? The Master Sword?
Pit: OBJECTION! Only Shulk can hold the Monado! The only way Dunban could use it is his sheer power, and even then he lost an arm!
BNGCTYR: Well, the true reason is somewhat unclear. It's implied that all you actually need is a pure heart and the desire to live and all that jazz. Also, Alvis.
"Stop doen that u wankar!" he sed. Butt son it wuz cleer i wode beet him so he gived up and flyed awey. Lucina and Sholk gotted up and I gived Sholk his sord bak.
"Ono so the bad guy from my gaem is teemin up with all teh otter evul pepole! This is bluddy turible!" Sholk sed.
Gutza: So now Shulk has the ...SORD as well as the Monado. Wonderful.
Pit: I TOLD YOU MAN, I TOLD YOU ABOUT GRAMMER.
BNGCTYR: IT KEEPS HAPPENING.
BNGCTYR: No, he just has A sord. Also, the otter evul pepole. Great. A bunch of evil otter dongs
"I no rite!" Lucina sed "we ned 2 thenk of sumthin."
Gutza: So Lucina's illiterate?
BNGCTYR: No, she's left-handed. Or ambidextrous. Or ambisinistrous. Or left-brained. Even though the lb/rb thing is kind of possibly fake.
"Maybe wecan thenk easer if we go get sum fode. Ucan breen ur bofrend and ur brothar and ur brothars gurlfrend" I sed.
Gutza: By "wecan" I assume she means Wiccan? That's probably not what it means, but I'm doing that just for Rule of Funny.
BNGCTYR: Also, sum fode.
TwinBuilder: Eh, I guess that counts. MATH JOKES MADE: 9.
Pit: No words needed.
"Ok" Lucina sed.
So Lucina and Me and Sholk and Mart and the 2 Robans wented 2 chikfela 2 talk abot wat we shold do 2 fite the evul pepole. Also we donated extar munny 2 tha chickfela so they cold stop teh gay ajenda.
TwinBuilder: Chickfela - Proud homophobes.
BNGCTYR: I think they actually are. Chik-Fil-A, that is.
Pit: I guess the ride will never end for us, will it?
BNGCTYR: Also, chickfela is short for chickfelatio. Yes, that's misspelled, but par for the course honestly.
Gutza: Also Marth has become an employee of Wal-Mart. Or Quik-E-Mart. Or Whatever-Mart.
TwinBuilder: No. No it will not. So, I guess we should stop here, this page is getting pretty long! If you've read this far, then good job. You've managed to get enjoyment out of three chapters of horrible grammar and mindless drivel. Maybe the other chapters will improve? ...Nah, who am I kidding. They won't.
TwinBuilder: If any of you want us to continue doing this, then say so! We'll see if it works out.
BNGCTYR: Also, chickfela is short for chickfelatio. Yes, that's misspelled, but par for the course honestly.
TwinBuilder: What a note to end on.
Pit: Tune in next time to see: Mental Face, Nothing but Exposition for a chapter, and us again.
BNGCTYR: Wait really? Mental Face? So she DID learn. A bit.
Gutza: The More You Know...
END OF ACT 1
http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.FrzHJyQVEnG/latest Part one.
http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.wKAM9YJhkPT/latest Part two.
Cat drawn by me. Accepting requests, depending on a lot of things. DTG Atsume: http://www.imgur.com/a/tij95
1'-[7']-{'3}-'3-'3 '6-11'-7'-6'-7' '1-{'3}-8'-12'-'3-2'
'10-'5-'8-'11 1'-[7']-8'-7'-'3 '2-11'-2'-'9-7'
'10-'5-'3-'3 1'-[7']-'3 '10-8'-{'3}-['10]-4'-7'
'10-{'3}-'3-'3-'6-8'-4' {'3}-11'-2'-'9-7'
Spam restoration: http://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/forums/forum-discussion-info/2195940-posts-threads-deleted-because-of-spam-filter-place
Official DTG Cards Against Humanity suggestion pad: http://piratepad.net/DTGCAH
Scratch TV obviously what else?
He scream
Subpar Smush Bros 2:
Act 1: http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.FrzHJyQVEnG/latest
Act 2: http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.wKAM9YJhkPT/latest
Harry Potter Becomes a Communist:
Act 1: http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.P7$Lqo79kHU/latest
(I don't know why this is broken. Just copy and paste it, alright? Can't fix it.)
Act 2: http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.D4ATsVqCIgj/latest
Act 3: ABANDONED.
THE PROPHECY SEEMED FAR AWAY
BUT FINALLY WE'VE REACHED THE DAY
GIVE UP THE PAST, EMBRACE THE STRANGE
EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT WILL CHANGE
When both sides are doomed, which do you choose?
DOWN HERE IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED
1. I send you a link to a piratepad.
2. You comment on the fanfic on the piratepad.
3. WE RAKE IN MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!
(Yes, I know you are joking)
THE PROPHECY SEEMED FAR AWAY
BUT FINALLY WE'VE REACHED THE DAY
GIVE UP THE PAST, EMBRACE THE STRANGE
EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT WILL CHANGE
When both sides are doomed, which do you choose?
DOWN HERE IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED
I'll put you in for maybe a later part of SSB2. I'd like your chumhandle if i need to message you.
"TwinBuilder: You're fourteen years old and yet your grammar is that of a five year old. Huh." Twin, I'll have you know that I am 5 years old and I am very offended by this statement. Also, who's BNGCTYR?
He scream
Also, intermission 1 is ON!
http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.NUX$2tz3yLT/latest
Cat drawn by me. Accepting requests, depending on a lot of things. DTG Atsume: http://www.imgur.com/a/tij95
1'-[7']-{'3}-'3-'3 '6-11'-7'-6'-7' '1-{'3}-8'-12'-'3-2'
'10-'5-'8-'11 1'-[7']-8'-7'-'3 '2-11'-2'-'9-7'
'10-'5-'3-'3 1'-[7']-'3 '10-8'-{'3}-['10]-4'-7'
'10-{'3}-'3-'3-'6-8'-4' {'3}-11'-2'-'9-7'
Spam restoration: http://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/forums/forum-discussion-info/2195940-posts-threads-deleted-because-of-spam-filter-place
Official DTG Cards Against Humanity suggestion pad: http://piratepad.net/DTGCAH
Don't have one, unfortunately.
THE PROPHECY SEEMED FAR AWAY
BUT FINALLY WE'VE REACHED THE DAY
GIVE UP THE PAST, EMBRACE THE STRANGE
EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT WILL CHANGE
When both sides are doomed, which do you choose?
DOWN HERE IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED