Post 1

"It seems I need to pick up the pace."

I manipulate the weather to an absolutely absurd degree, localized entirely on the Terror Chicken. I begin by bombarding it with lightning bolts. FLYING TYPES ARE WEAK TO ELECTRICITY!

A little investment 8/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +2 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 )
Elemental 4/25

+2 to Tabbune

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 21:06:00

[i think the format comes from the guy saying REEEEE?]
[you can also keep the spoiler closed if you need to.]
if it was the superword, the page would format fine when the spoiler is closed.
/NULL

Originally posted on 2017-05-26 22:16:00

20/20 Bronze Armor Summoning...
7/30 Vengance
1/20 Halt!

+1 to Abby, +1 to Tabby

BRONZE ARMOR
A knight appears to challenge the PS heretics opposition!

Bronze Knight 40,000/40,000 HP. [AS]

Azurewrath void-punches the Terror Chicken with the Bronze Knight also doing so.

SparkedTheorem follows up, slicing the Terror Chicken a few times before "lunging" at it with Illumina.

Originally posted on 2017-05-27 00:22:00

Well, straight from 0rigins to here. I join as PS. Happy to be working for you Boss.
1/30 I a little thing called a pawn
1/10 A little gift for my friends.
+2 JOE

Originally posted on 2017-05-27 01:24:00

I hit the terror chicken with a really prickly shrubbery, in its face.

Originally posted on 2017-05-27 06:05:00

[PS] I give some High-Quality Chicken Feed to the Terror Chicken, healing them a bit
2/30 I a little thing called a pawn
2/10 A little gift for my friends.
+2 JOE-again

Originally posted on 2017-05-27 14:07:00

33%
4/66
a cold wind 25/30
9/blarg Icey wall +2 amirroredclock
+2 Varient
"Hi new person"
"having allys is great!"
"I can't start +ing you yet, but I will soon, don't worry."
SIDEQUEST:
I leave the area for a moment, off to find a forest. after some time, I find a few tall trees, but see a bird living in them. if I cut it down, the bird will die! thats bad. and soon, its going to be night!
well, I do have some weapons, but monsters are annoying.
oh well. I keep exploring, and soon mobs start to spawn. eventually, I get trapped with my back to a cliff and mobs blocking the exit. annoyed, I grab an axe and whip-like thing from their sheaths, then swipe the whip forwards at the closest enemy, still 15 blocks away, and pull it towards me, sending me towards it and it towards me at the same time, and I swing the axe, embedding it into the skeletons skull, which goes flying. well, there goes one weapon. I kick away the skeletons body, which flys into a zombie, taking a blow. I then swing the whip again and it wraps around a stone, before pulling it towards me, and with another thrust it starts to spin like a top, then run behind the zombie and with a series of kicks, the last one being imbued with iridescent blue-cyan light, and send the zombie into the path of the stone, which is somehow not done flying towards my previous location. a creeper crawls over and starts hissing, but I unsheathe a shield and block, so while the explosion knocks me back in a dramatic way to the tip of the cliff. looks like its done. I then take the remains of the skeleton, find a seed from the tree with a bird on it, use the remains of the skeleton to make it grow, remember the axe, go back and get that, chop down the new tree, repeat until out of bone meal, then go back to town and rebuild the cart, then feed the kids a bunch of apples from the trees to calm them down and use the excess wood, should there be any, to make a sign explaining to the guards whats going on.
[summery: fix cart, use extra action power to calm kids and/or explain to guards if can]

meanwhile on the battlefield I stab puppetblightgannon unless hes dead in which case I kick azurewrath in the shins unless hes dead in which case I freeze the phoenix.


Originally posted on 2017-05-28 13:48:00

o---Chages---
Return: 24 / 30
Thermal Power: 3 / 20
+2 to 1412
Current Summons

Ette runs off to grab some healing supplies for Puppetblight, who's probably suffering from some low-tier stab wounds at the moment. She walks by a hotdog stand. Given that food in Breath of the Wild heals Link, the logical course of action is to buy the hotdog stand and bring it over to Puppetblight! She shells out the gold to buy the stand from a very nice villager, then carts it towards Puppetblight Ganon. She preps a dog, and hands it to him! The hotdog is promptly slashed into two pieces.

Puppetblight then mentions that he likes his hotdogs done in a very specific way; it needs to have at least fifty pickles on it, two drops of mustard, and it needs to be soaked in the blood of the innocent. Ette nods her head, and promptly raids the cart for every last pickle inside of it, stacking them upon the hotdog in some gorgeous tower of green. She then plops two bits of mustard on the 'dog, two yellow pinpricks amidst a sea of green.

Then, to substitute for the blood of the innocent, Ette drenches the entire thing in ketchup, which looks exactly like the blood of the innocent. It also tastes better. She hands the 'dog off to Puppetblight, who rubs it against their face due to having no mouth. Ette's like "oh", before realizing that this healed Puppetblight anyway. Amazing.

...If Puppetblight is dead from JOE editing his post to more than 3 words of attacking, this heal will target Azurewrath.

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 01:16:00

8/30 Vengance
2/20 Halt!

+1 to Random, +1 to Irae

SparkedTheorem decides to point out that the CaNPA (cool and new portal armor) isn't really cool and new anymore. The Simumodder promptly has an internal crisis, causing something in his Mindscape to start slapping the physimental image of the Simumodder in his Mindscape to get him to stop having an internal crisis.

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 02:18:00

Perfect Storm: Part 2

Now that the chicken has been somewhat dazed, it's time for phase two: the scalding. I direct a torrent of boiling rain to fall on the Terror, attempting to scald it's feathers off. Meanwhile, the boiling water also collects in the chamber I tried to gas it with, now open-air.

A little investment 9/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +2 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 )
Elemental 5/25

Plus two to Redstonetam.

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 02:53:00

+2 marron
The Fallen: 22/60 (22/30 from me, 0/30) +2 from marron
Disaster relief 10/10 +2 from marron. USING
Suddenly, a fleet of helicopters dart in and begin siphoning away the water in shifts, building retaining walls to hold back the water once it's gotten low enough. Soon the floodwaters have receded and/or been held at bay.

New Charge 1/10

I look at Azurewrath. hmm, seems a bit less azure than usual... obviously more azureness will make them better. So I pull out a bucket of azure-colored paint and give them a fresh coat, which inexplicably heals them.

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 03:12:00

I throw a baby chick at the terror chicken and shout 'Think of the children!'

The baby chick begins pecking at the eyes of the terror chicken.

A Knife 1/27

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 04:30:00

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1495814743))

32% 34/64 use all energy on attack. a cold wind 24/30 +3 simu +2 a mirrored clock 6/blarg Icey wall +2 simu +2 Varient I calm down the raging cow with enough tranquilizers to bring down an elephant, then continue to the main field where I gather orbs of cyan light and hurl them at ganon, and they hold him in place while I pour Spoiler Alert Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleuc yllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylgl ycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleu cylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylseryla spartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucyl arginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglu tamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisol reonylleucylaspartylalanylthreonylarginylarginylvalylaspartylaspartylalanylthreonylvalylalanylisoleucyl arginylserylalanylasparaginylisoleucylasparaginylleucylvalylasparaginylglutamylleucylvalylarginylglyc ylthreonylglycylleucyltyrosylasparaginylglutaminylasparaginylthreonylphenylalanylglutamylserylmethi onylserylglycylleucylvalyltryptophylthreonylserylalanylprolylalanyltitinmethionylglutaminylarginyltyrosyl glutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylmethionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryll eucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalyl prolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucylly sylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucy lglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglu taminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylal anylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysyl histidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylv alylphenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcys teinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylgl utamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylal anylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleuc ylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucyl serylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylg..... .....lmethionyllysylalanylalanylthr eonylarginylacetylseryltyrosylserylisoleucylthreonylserylprolylserylglutaminylphenylalanylvalylphenylal anylleucylserylserylvalyltryptophylalanylaspartylprolylisoleucylglutamylleucylleucylasparaginylvalylcys teinylthreonylserylserylleucylglycylasparaginylglutaminylphenylalanylglutaminylthreonylglutaminylglut aminylalanylarginylthreonylthreonylglutaminylvalylglutaminylglutaminylphenylalanylserylglutaminylval yltryptophyllysylprolylphenylalanylprolylglutaminylserylthreonylvalylarginylphenylalanylprolylglycylasp artylvalyltyrosyllysylvalyltyrosylarginyltyrosylasparaginylalanylvalylleucylaspartylprolylleucylisoleucylth reonylalanylleucylleucylglycylthreonylphenylalanylaspartylthreonylarginylasparaginylarginylisoleucylis oleucylglutamylvalylglutamylasparaginylglutaminylglutaminylserylglutamylasparaginylglut ( titin) on him, wonder if theres a limit to the size of posts here, discover that 1) there is and 2) it is smaller then 189,819 letters, then set him on fire, freeze him, ask a teacher what state of matter fire is once they say there are 3 states of matter, tell them I won't sue if they kill gannon, give them a knife, point them to ganon, take a nap, wake up, see gannons dead, congradulate the teacher, consider suing them anyway, decide not to, and then spread my extra attack damage, should there be any, to all AS non-players by grabing each letter from the scientific name for titin, including the ones I couldn't post here, and toss them over my shoulder at everyone else. however, I'm bored. so this isn't done. in homage to a very early series of attacks, I take out my pickaxe. been a while ,eh? I toss the pickaxe at puppetblight gannon, but being the final boss he's able to block such an easy attack. however, as with the past, the pickaxe ricochets off the stone and bounces back, scraping at gannons armor. this means he'll have to split his attention, as the simumodder once did. I then conjure the helix blade from the void between unknown games, and slash at gannon, using a slight relation to link (fierce deity, in majoras mask) to damage him, before dodging back and using the latent powers of the sword to send rocks flying towards ganon. the pickaxe, all this time, continues to bounce off his armor, but its not dealing enough damage. annoyed, I point at where its going to next impact the ground with the helix blade. the ground flashes orange once as the kanji (japanese thingy) for "bound" appears for a second, then quickly fades. satisfyed, I take off my shoes and throw them at him, though they deal no damage. the real aim was to gain easy access to my socks. remember this? no? 's fine, it was a long time ago. I take off my socks and reveal that their still different colours. the sock police is probably going to catch up to me later... anyway, I take off my right sock, which is gray with intricate patterns, and spin it, creating a whirlwind at my feet. this has the "unfortunate" affect of sending the smell of my feet, which are probably really sweaty since I've never cleaned them since this battle started, towards gannon, distracting him with stink for my next strike. at the same time, the pickaxe flys towards the area marked with [bound], and I simultaneously leap forwards. I kick ganon, and the stench of my feet is even worse up close. its almost too much to bare, but then the pickaxe bounces off the ground and accelerates, boosted by bound. the impact knocks gannon off his feet, and I conjure a few more socks. using the unbeatable sockchuck technique,  I whirl the socks, all at once, but I'm not so good at it. the socks randomly slip out of my grasp while I'm trying to look cool. yes, look cool. even though I'm spinning around a bunch of socks. anyway, they slip out of my grasp and fly off in random directions. but thats fine! i can still rely on my old pal, good old fishcuffs. not fistcuffs, why would you think that? I would never punch a fellow human! no, these are handcuffs made of fish. I handcuff ganon, then decide you know what, ganon isn't human, hes a puppet, so punching him is perfectly acceptable. I then start punching him. and punching him. and punching him. it looks like I've forgotten that this attack has to end eventually. my past self of course. I can't tell you what i did and do it at the same time, right? even though I do that all the time, still. yes, I forgot to stop punching him when did I stop? never. how am I telling you this then? uhhhhhhh magic...? no, I would never embelish how long I punched him for more damage! how DARE you think that. what do you mean you haven't said anything this whole time? hrmph. Meanwhile, I note that 8 charges is normally equal to 8 player HP and thomas had no respawns remaining, as well as that his damage per post avarages lower then a typical 30-charge entity, even if he is left alone and never loses actions via death. if I somehow, against all odds, convince piono that +2 MHP was too little and he won't/doesn't feel like undoing what happened then i attempt to harness the wasted charge to clear up assorted hazards in SIDEQUEST. oh he still has a life. nvm.

What even is formatting I don't even know

That being said, even with Ire's attempt to counter you you still completely wipe out puppetblight ganon.

Cow tranquilized. I don't know how ethical doing something like that is but it sure is effective.

QUOTE (variant @ (time=1495820525))

+1 Ire/Tabbune 5/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise (+1 Joe) 22/30 A Snowball’s Chance (+3 Joe)

#NoPlotNoRot

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1495821044))

o---Chages--- Return: 23 / 30 (+4, 1412) Thermal Power: 2 / 20 +2 to 1412 Current Summons Marron decides that the only way to stop the titin attack is by saying the ENTIRE WORD! That's how logic works, right? She grabs a microphone and a speaker, and begins to recite every single last word in titin. The full version. The speaker, amped up to [LOUD], fires bursts of soundwaves that blasts away the flow of titin onto Puppetblight Ganon, splashing it in JOE's face instead. The burning implement that JOE tries to use also ends up getting deflected into his face! When JOE tries to get a teacher to kill Ganon, Ette helpfully points the speaker towards the teacher, sending them about a mile away. Then, to top it all off, when JOE tries to toss the scientific name of titin at some AS's, the soundwaves blow it into his face! In the process, soundwaves also carry four trees, two raccoons, and at least five whole creepers into his face. The explosive pain is... very painful, to say the least. What's also very painful is Marron's ears, which may or may not be bleeding from how loud the speaker was. But hey- that's the price of deflecting attacks, right? Puppetblight will use Death's Scythe on Thomas if possible for whatever reason! If it isn't possible, he'll target the Terror Chicken!

Sadly your post was not enough to counter JOE's post in its entirety, and weakened as Puppetblight Ganon was, well...
I'm afraid that's one entity with absurd attack that's not sticking around. now all that's left to do is off Thomas...

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1495828295))

wait a minute did i seriously forget to post *breath in* REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I throw a giant frog at the Terror Chicken. super mario 128: 10/12 NO SIR, I DIDN'T BLOW UP MEDBAY: 5/30

You throw the frog at the terror chicken... which lays an egg...
Wait hold on isn't that how you get bassilisks?
The egg hatchs and the bassilisk bites the terror chicken, dealing 5000 damage.

QUOTE (DCCCV @ (time=1495829208))

Post 1 "It seems I need to pick up the pace." I manipulate the weather to an absolutely absurd degree, localized entirely on the Terror Chicken. I begin by bombarding it with lightning bolts. FLYING TYPES ARE WEAK TO ELECTRICITY! A little investment 8/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +2 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 ) Elemental 4/25 +2 to Tabbune

ITS SUPER EFFECTIIVE
6000 damage.

QUOTE (pionoplayer @ (time=1495832379))

/null Joe I think your spoiler and super-word just broke the page's formatting.

nop, it was jondanger's. YA GOOF

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1495833395))

[i think the format comes from the guy saying REEEEE?] [you can also keep the spoiler closed if you need to.] if it was the superword, the page would format fine when the spoiler is closed. /NULL

YA GOOh wait he was right.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1495840935))

20/20 Bronze Armor Summoning... 7/30 Vengance 1/20 Halt! +1 to Abby, +1 to Tabby BRONZE ARMOR A knight appears to challenge the PS heretics opposition! Bronze Knight 40,000/40,000 HP. [AS] Azurewrath void-punches the Terror Chicken with the Bronze Knight also doing so. SparkedTheorem follows up, slicing the Terror Chicken a few times before "lunging" at it with Illumina.

Bronze Knight summoned, it has 17000 attack.
Entities ordered, although you may run into a bit of a problem with their instructions.

4500 damage to the Terror Chicken with Illumina.

QUOTE (A Mirrored Clock @ (time=1495844640))

Well, straight from 0rigins to here. I join as PS. Happy to be working for you Boss. 1/30 I a little thing called a pawn 1/10 A little gift for my friends. +2 JOE

The Simumodder waves. "'Sup?"

QUOTE (randomusername @ (time=1495861511))

I hit the terror chicken with a really prickly shrubbery, in its face.

Oh no not the shrubbery! 6000 damage.

QUOTE (A Mirrored Clock @ (time=1495890422))

[PS] I give some High-Quality Chicken Feed to the Terror Chicken, healing them a bit 2/30 I a little thing called a pawn 2/10 A little gift for my friends. +2 JOE-again

The terror chicken devours the high quality chicken feed in one peck, almost choking on it, but still recovering 5000 health.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1495975713))

33% 4/66 a cold wind 25/30 9/blarg Icey wall +2 amirroredclock +2 Varient "Hi new person" "having allys is great!" "I can't start +ing you yet, but I will soon, don't worry." SIDEQUEST: I leave the area for a moment, off to find a forest. after some time, I find a few tall trees, but see a bird living in them. if I cut it down, the bird will die! thats bad. and soon, its going to be night! well, I do have some weapons, but monsters are annoying. oh well. I keep exploring, and soon mobs start to spawn. eventually, I get trapped with my back to a cliff and mobs blocking the exit. annoyed, I grab an axe and whip-like thing from their sheaths, then swipe the whip forwards at the closest enemy, still 15 blocks away, and pull it towards me, sending me towards it and it towards me at the same time, and I swing the axe, embedding it into the skeletons skull, which goes flying. well, there goes one weapon. I kick away the skeletons body, which flys into a zombie, taking a blow. I then swing the whip again and it wraps around a stone, before pulling it towards me, and with another thrust it starts to spin like a top, then run behind the zombie and with a series of kicks, the last one being imbued with iridescent blue-cyan light, and send the zombie into the path of the stone, which is somehow not done flying towards my previous location. a creeper crawls over and starts hissing, but I unsheathe a shield and block, so while the explosion knocks me back in a dramatic way to the tip of the cliff. looks like its done. I then take the remains of the skeleton, find a seed from the tree with a bird on it, use the remains of the skeleton to make it grow, remember the axe, go back and get that, chop down the new tree, repeat until out of bone meal, then go back to town and rebuild the cart, then feed the kids a bunch of apples from the trees to calm them down and use the excess wood, should there be any, to make a sign explaining to the guards whats going on. [summery: fix cart, use extra action power to calm kids and/or explain to guards if can] meanwhile on the battlefield I stab puppetblightgannon unless hes dead in which case I kick azurewrath in the shins unless hes dead in which case I freeze the phoenix.

you repair the cart and convince the kids to behave with the power of FREE FOOD. The guards were never an obstacle, but the situation has been explained to them, and with enough of the chaos removed, they managed to finally catch the pig, despite it having been greased.

3000 damage to Azurewrath.

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1496017009))

o---Chages--- Return: 24 / 30 Thermal Power: 3 / 20 +2 to 1412 Current Summons Ette runs off to grab some healing supplies for Puppetblight, who's probably suffering from some low-tier stab wounds at the moment. She walks by a hotdog stand. Given that food in Breath of the Wild heals Link, the logical course of action is to buy the hotdog stand and bring it over to Puppetblight! She shells out the gold to buy the stand from a very nice villager, then carts it towards Puppetblight Ganon. She preps a dog, and hands it to him! The hotdog is promptly slashed into two pieces. Puppetblight then mentions that he likes his hotdogs done in a very specific way; it needs to have at least fifty pickles on it, two drops of mustard, and it needs to be soaked in the blood of the innocent. Ette nods her head, and promptly raids the cart for every last pickle inside of it, stacking them upon the hotdog in some gorgeous tower of green. She then plops two bits of mustard on the 'dog, two yellow pinpricks amidst a sea of green. Then, to substitute for the blood of the innocent, Ette drenches the entire thing in ketchup, which looks exactly like the blood of the innocent. It also tastes better. She hands the 'dog off to Puppetblight, who rubs it against their face due to having no mouth. Ette's like "oh", before realizing that this healed Puppetblight anyway. Amazing. ...If Puppetblight is dead from JOE editing his post to more than 3 words of attacking, this heal will target Azurewrath.

Yup, JOE went back and worked on his post some more. 7000 health restored to Azurewrath through the best hotdog he's had in a long time.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1496020681))

8/30 Vengance 2/20 Halt! +1 to Random, +1 to Irae SparkedTheorem decides to point out that the CaNPA (cool and new portal armor) isn't really cool and new anymore. The Simumodder promptly has an internal crisis, causing something in his Mindscape to start slapping the physimental image of the Simumodder in his Mindscape to get him to stop having an internal crisis.

The Simumodder points out that he's not the one who made it cool and new, as its just a title.
You do however disrupt the coolness and newness of the portal armor itsself, turning it into the boring and old portal armor.

QUOTE (DCCCV @ (time=1496022787))

Perfect Storm: Part 2 Now that the chicken has been somewhat dazed, it's time for phase two: the scalding. I direct a torrent of boiling rain to fall on the Terror, attempting to scald it's feathers off. Meanwhile, the boiling water also collects in the chamber I tried to gas it with, now open-air. A little investment 9/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +2 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 ) Elemental 5/25 Plus two to Redstonetam.

The chicken does not appreciate this, and begins flicking burning water everywhere. But it still takes 6000 damage.

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1496023925))

+2 marron The Fallen: 22/60 (22/30 from me, 0/30) +2 from marron Disaster relief 10/10 +2 from marron. USING Suddenly, a fleet of helicopters dart in and begin siphoning away the water in shifts, building retaining walls to hold back the water once it's gotten low enough. Soon the floodwaters have receded and/or been held at bay. New Charge 1/10 I look at Azurewrath. hmm, seems a bit less azure than usual... obviously more azureness will make them better. So I pull out a bucket of azure-colored paint and give them a fresh coat, which inexplicably heals them.

disaster relief enacted. All entities now gain 2000 hit points every round!

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
5000 health restored to azurewrath.

QUOTE (randomusername @ (time=1496028630))

I throw a baby chick at the terror chicken and shout 'Think of the children!' The baby chick begins pecking at the eyes of the terror chicken. A Knife 1/27

The Terror Chicken thinks of the children for too long and gets pecked in the eye, dropping the child.
A storm of DONT TOUCH THE CHILDs proceed to beat it to death for 6000 damage.


Originally posted on 2017-05-29 15:48:00

The AS entities look at the Terror Chicken flapping majestically in the sky above, and realize there's no way any of them but the phoenix are going to hit it. They cast their eyes about for any other target and find... JOE. JOE gulps and is immediately swarmed by everything but the Phoenix. JOE takes 11 damage. The Phoenix on the other hand goes up to help out the chicken roasting, but providing a bit of defrosting on the chicken. 2000 damage to the Terror chicken.

The Pseudo Player and Tax Man have received no orders, so they decide to split their efforts. The Pseudo Player attacks JOE, dealing 4 damage to him, and the Tax Man chops 10000 health off of azurewrath with deductibles.

The Terror Chicken realizes its made a fatal mistake... it's not marked as Ranged! It can't attack anything useful this round. It bawks angrily to try and get the Simumodder's attention but he seems to be occupied with something else. Also, Thomas respawns, falling out of the air and landing on his face. The Simumodder tosses a +2 to JOE, who is still sort of lying at funny angles on the ground off to the side, and another +2 to Mirrored Clock who is still new, and then pulls out the portal armor. He looks it over, its old, rusted, almost useless now. but that's okay, it still has one last portal left in it.

He opens the portal, and through it you can see the oldest of libraries, the most boring of librarians... dusty old professors and their dustier, older books. And as if called by some sound or force, which they probably are (there are certain frequencies too low for anyone to hear but which certain among the elderly scholarship will answer to unwaveringly. It's a built in loyalty switch universities install in their faculty) they come out. 5 professors, one after the other, followed by a number of student aides.

In the Stronghold the Zombies and skeleton move in to try and corner variant for an easy kill.

Everything ticks up, most entities are healed by 2000 hit points.

Itinerary:
Destroy the Simumodder!
Destroy the Terror Chicken!

Entity Advantage: [PS]

Weather: Sword Dance (2000 damage to two PS entities every round.)
Terrain: Disaster Relief (heals 2000 health to every entity each round.)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 87/100. Golden Sun [A]. Nuclear Heaven [A]
Terror Chicken [PS][Elite] Hp: 132,000/300,000. Chicken out: 2/2. Feathery Wrath: 4/4. Marked. airborne. 1 Minus
Thomas [PS - JOE] Hp: 9/9. Creativity [II]. 1/4.
History Professor [PS] Hp: 75,000/75,000. The Past is Behind Us: 1/5
Ethics Professor [PS] Hp: 75,000/75,000. Unethical: 1/4
Math Professor [PS] Hp: 75,000/75,000. NUMBERS. NUMBERS. 1/6
Science Professor [PS] Hp: 75,000/75,000. Lab Safety Lesson: 1/5
English Professor [PS] Hp: 75,000/75,000. Wirtig Porject: 1/6
Student Aide x5 [PS] Hp: 20,000/20,000
JOEbob [PS - Player] Hp: 6/22. Astral Energy: 32%. Energy Stored: 64/64. Solar Adrenaline: 5/5. Disorient 5/6

Pseudo-Player [N - Variant]: HP: 15/20. Polarize 1/2. 3/10
Tax Man [N - Variant]: HP: 32,000/40,000. Capital Gains 4/10. 1 Plus

Healing note x4
Azurewrath, Lord of the Void [AS - Redstone] Hp: 15,000/60,000. 1 Plus. 3 rounds 
Phoenix [AS - DCCCV] Hp: 17,000/20,000. ranged.
Puppet Knight [AS - 1412] Hp: 30,000/30,000. Valor: 3/5
Bronze Knight [AS - redstone] Hp: 40,000/40,000.
SparkedTheorem [AS - Player] Hp: 17/20. Firebrand [A] Durability: 55%. Illumina [A] Durability: 90%
Emerald [AS - Player] Hp: 20/20. Blood blade [A] Durability: 100%
1412 [AS - Player] Hp: 20/20. Present from the Present: 3/4. Actions: 0/5.

---

The Local Town: The market

JOEbob

Stronghold Pillar Room
Annis/Alicia
Variant
Prison Cell corridor
Monster sounds corridor
Water corridor
Unkown corridor

Stronghold Monster Corridor
Skeleton: Hp: 7
Zombies x2: Hp: 7
Variant.



AS:
Jondanger23
DCCCV
Redstonetam15
1412
Tabbune
Battlefury
Irecreeper
randomusername

N:
Variant

PS
JOEbob
A Mirrored Clock

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 15:50:00

32%
64/64
64 energy boosting my attack (+3000andsomething)
a cold wind 26/30
14/25 The Gilded Chalice +2 simu +2 amirroredclock
+2 Varient
plocolder
I progress in sidequest, having gotten everything out of the way. yay!
thomas does two creative attacks on azurewrath, unless he can kill with 1, in which case he does.if azurewrath dies, attack phoenix.
Now then, for me...
I get up and activate solar adrenaline, despite the risk of death. losing a turn won't matter that much, after all.
i immediately dash to the bronze knight, slaming my fist into its side, and send it flying. an instant later, I've caught up, and slam into its side with a hammer of magma, sending it into a mountain populated by bronze-hating fire golems, which proceed to attack it. moments later, I reach it again and toss it up into the moon, which crashes to earth for the... 57th time I think? people destroy the moon or crash it into earth a lot.
anyway the moon crashes to earth and then I arrive at the location and pummel the bronze knight with punches as solar adrenaline starts to wear off. the last punch sounds like this: tink. i then teleportal away.
minorsidenote: i would have sighed, not gulped.
I also walk over to thomas, tell him he's probably going to die real soon, pat him on the back, and thank him for all the work he's done.
then remember he already knew all of this because he's just me with a different name.
he is also probably very ded by the end of this turn

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 16:06:00

I throw a 1x1x1 inch cube of every element at the Science Professor.

super mario 128: 11/12

I DIDN'T BLOW UP THE BAR EITHER: 6/30

+1 to Irecreeper, +1 to Battlefury

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 18:54:00

9/30 Vengance
3/20 Halt!

+1 to 1412, +1 to DC^3V

Azurewrath slices up the Tax Man, with the Bronze Knight doing the same.

The English Professor realizes that Wirtig Project is spelled wrong, as well as the other Professors. The professors point this out to their boss and the English Professor is fired for having bad grammar. The English Professor decides to rob a bank for money and is arrested and sentenced to prison for the rest of his life. He is beat up by the other prisoners there.

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 18:55:00

o---Chages---
Return: 28 / 30 (+3, 1412, Jon)
Thermal Power: 4 / 20
+2 to 1412
Current Summons

Rather pissed about the death of Puppetblight, Marron turns her sights towards Thomas. She drags a non-Nightmarron scythe behind her, and lunges towards Thomas, the intent to kill highly obvious. She slices off one of Thomas's arms... then picks it up, and leaves. That was underwhelming. Although, losing an arm is very, very annoying for poor Thomas. At least he'll live.

Hahahahaha.

On the outskirts of the battlefield, Marron stitches Thomas's arm to the body of Puppetblight Ganon. His life energy feeds into the fabric of Puppetblight, giving it enough energy for one last attack! Its goal; killing Thomas for his sins. Puppetblight floats up, and now that he's free from the rules of being an entity, he surges forth, scythe greatly empowered. His scythe, made out of a pulsating black matter that glows with a midnight-hued flame, is glowing stronger than ever before- Puppetblight's own death earlier has fed into it somehow, turning it into the world's most lethal scythe. Puppetblight laughs as he surges forward, scythe sending up massive founts of rock as it drags behind him. He then proceeds to rip it right through the earth, causing the scythe to re-emerge below Thomas. The scythe cuts up through his body, instantly killing him.

Well, kinda. He's just... vanished. Thomas finds himself re-appearing inside the interior of an a place made out of a strange stone- a robot?

Thomas finds himself inside the Divine Beast, Dai Puphot. As the name suggests, it's a gigantic puppet. Thomas is currently located within the legs of the beast. He then hears a voice.

tc: Hello, you little gorilla.
tc: Welcome to the rest of your life!
tc: If you want a sliiiight chance of leaving, I'd suggest heading up to the head and activating the mapping terminal.
tc: But you won't make it there, will you?
tc: Hah.

Thomas begins to scurry up a ladder that's near him. However, the way up the ladder is covered in this painful black-and-red goop, which Thomas is forced to slog through! He manages to reach the top of the near mile-long ladder, reaching a round platform around the center of the chest, where the heart would be. The main control terminal rests there, but that's not his objective; Thomas needs to go to the head. He steps on a floating platform, and rides it up. However, there's a fan in the way that Thomas forgot to disable, and it launches him off the platform! It sends him falling down, all the way back down to the leg where he started. He impacts the ground hard. Or he would, if he didn't fall onto a gigantic spike, impaling him. Thomas, not quite dead from that, manages to slowly inch his body up the spike. Once he's off, he's forced to slog through the ladder again, once again reaching the heart platform.

Once there, he notices a switch, over a pitfall. He's forced to jump for it. He jumps and manages to grab the switch! This deactivates the fan. It also activates an array of flamethrowers, lighting his entire body on fire and causing him to let go of the lever. He falls back down into the leg, this time landing on the spike head-first. Still somehow not dead from that, he very slowly and painfully removes himself from the spike, and re-slogs through fun pain goop slime death ladder. By the time he's reached the top of the ladder, he's completely exhausted, but still manages to drag himself over to the platform. It lifts him up, and he manages to reach the top as he's not hindered by the fan anymore. He reaches for his Shiekah Slate to activate the mapping terminal, and-

tc: pffffft
tc: You FORGOT your slate?
tc: There's a gigantic neon sign down in the leg pointing to your free Shiekah Slate.
tc: So... go and head back down there!

Thomas sighs, and walks back to the platform. Instead of gently descending, the platform rockets downwards and tilts at an angle, sending Thomas falling back down onto the spike, this time lower area first. Something something, unimpale, and Thomas searches for the sign and the slate. Neither of them are there.

tc: Oh, I didn't specify which leg!
tc: It's the other leg. Idiot.

Thomas goes "OH GOD I NEED TO GO THROUGH THE LADDER AGAIN" and then sucks it up, and climbs up through the ladder one more time. Once back at the heart platform, he looks for a safe way down into the other leg. While he does see the neon sign down there, there doesn't seem to be a safe way down, besides a pool of water down below. He figures that he can dive down into it, and proceeds to swan dive into not water, but acid. He scrambles and screams to get out of the acid, and once out of the pool, lies on the ground, trying to recollect himself. He fails to notice the Guardian down in the leg as he rolls through his pain. The Guardian down there suddenly chops at Thomas using its axe, gravely wounding him. However, Thomas, now fueled with adrenaline, manages to write up a SMASH and instantly obliterate the guardian. He then claims his Shiekah Slate, and looks for a way up out of the leg. There's a little valve on the wall, which he turns and rotates. Acid begins to spray up from that pool that he swan-dived into, creating a "water elevator" of sorts. It's the only way up. Thomas braces himself, and jumps into the spray of acid.

The pillar of acid launches him back up to the heart platform, and leaves him writhing in pain. After about an hour of just lying down, completely overwhelmed with pain, Thomas regains his will to carry on, and advances back up onto the floating platform. He then finally manages to activate the Mapping Terminal. He then gains control over the arms of Dai Puphot as they're probably required for puzzles, and also obtains the map for Dai Puphot. He surveys the map, and realizes something; Every inch of Dai Puphot was designed to inflict pain onto the invader. Thomas sighs. This will be a long, painful day. He begins by tackling one of the terminals that's hidden back within the leg he started in. He decides to actually just climb the ladder back down into that leg, slogging through the goop once again, and finds a lever. He pulls the lever, causing an arrow trap to activate, riddling him with Shock arrows. He spasms and drops to the ground. He manages to pull himself together though, and then activates one of the terminals that was revealed by pulling the lever.

One down, four more to go.

Thomas returns to the other leg of the Divine Beast, forced to just jump down and smash into the ground without any bit of acid to "cushion" his descent. He cries out in pain, but manages to crawl through a gauntlet of saws, spikes, and freakin' laser beams. Well, he didn't really "make" it. He managed to get himself caught on every saw, impaled on every spike, and fried by every single last laser beam. He takes a pained step to the terminal, and activates it. Then he's forced to slog back through the entire gauntlet again, coming out with even more injuries. He's then forced to ride the pillar of acid back up to the heart platform. By this point, Thomas can barely even lift a limb. Marron's voice echoes throughout the beast again.

tc: Hm. I'm actually feeling a little sorry for you.
tc: Why not go and activate the main terminal now? I've lifted the restrictions; you don't need to get any more terminals.
tc: You're free!

Thomas drags himself inch by inch to activate the main terminal. He plants his slate on the console, activating it! However, a red-and-black energy swirls out of the terminal, revealing Puppetblight Ganon, once again! It laughs as a single needle descends from the sky, string trailing behind it. Thomas, unable to move at all, is forced to endure the pain of the needle constantly entering and exiting his body. Once the needle's done tormenting him, string has been laid all throughout his body. Puppetblight lets the needle vanish, before conjuring his scythe! He sticks it to where the needle once was, now stuck in a constant spin. He then grabs hold of one of the string that's inside Thomas's body, and pulls. The scythe moves back through every hole that the needle went through, but not with nearly as much grace. It severs and obliterates his innards and limbs, causing a serious amount of blood to be sprayed all over the heart platform. The final bit the scythe cuts through, just to maximise the pain, is Thomas's head. It's cleaved right in two, made unidentifiable from the remainder of Thomas's giblets. Puppetblight then scoops up the giblets as his energy fades, and transfers them back to the battlefield, the giblets pouring out like a waterfall over JOE's head.

His energy now fully expended, Puppetblight vanishes into a black smoke, removed from existence.

All leftover damage, if any, will go and fry the Ethics Professor.

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 19:18:00

I insult the English Professor's sexual orientation through carefully designed rhyme phrases, then subtly imply that I have had unsuitable relations with his mother.

The professor suffers a moderate amount of burn damage.

A Knife 2/27
Oversized Insult Machine 1/21



Originally posted on 2017-05-29 21:35:00

[PS] I weaken the Bronze Knight's armor by pouring multiple acids and staining materials on it, like hydrochloric acid, burning oil, tar, and fire, to warp and bend it, focusing on the joints.
4/30 I a little thing called a pawn-+1 from Sim
4/10 A little gift for my friends.-+1 from Sim
+2 to JOE

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 21:45:00