Perfect Storm, Part 3

Now that the feathers have been loosened, it's time to pluck. This supernaturally durable bird won't be flying anytime soon!

A vortex of wind plucks the Terror Chicken plumb naked, plunging it into the open-air cage full of boiling water.

A little investment 10/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +3 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 )
Elemental 6/25

+2 to 1412

Originally posted on 2017-05-29 23:17:00

The Fallen: 28/60 (28/30 from me, 0/30) +2 from marron +2 from DCCCV +1 from redstone
New Charge 2/10
+2 marron

While no one's looking I run off to play baseball. When it's my turn to bat, I just sort of bump it lamely and get to first base. At the next guy's go, I steal second! and on the next guy's turn, third as well! I then leave with my ill-gotten bases before anyone can stop me and use them to reinforce the Bronze Knight's armor. The addition of bases neutralizes the acids, because that's definitely how chemistry works. Definitely.

Originally posted on 2017-05-30 06:08:00

Using ice magic, I lower the temperature of my breath and then blow into the English Professor's ear, causing their mind to begin numbing.


A Knife 3/27
Oversized Insult Machine 2/21


Originally posted on 2017-05-30 07:17:00

Looks like the situation’s changed a bit.
Time to react accordingly.

So, accordingly, Variable drops an accordion from SPACE!!!!! It lands near the science professor, and starts moving across the ground like a slinky, emitting a horrendous cacophony (which wouldn’t be bad if there was a willing music professor on hand) both on landing and as it goes. The science professor is then assaulted with both the horrible noise and the violation of basic physical principles (for example, conservation of energy) represented by this phenomenon, doing serious damage to his mental state.

The Pseudo-Player decides to see if the math professor can calculate the damage they’re about to take from a Dipole swing.
The Tax Man suddenly realizes that he can’t actually attack anything on PS, with the exception of Thomas (who’s likely to have already been mulched by the time he gets to act) and possibly JOE. So, if he can (to any effect), he attacks JOE, or if he can’t, he gets some petty revenge on Azurewrath.

SIDEQUEST

Beta, realizing that he’s about to be cornered, decides to use a few tricks of his own, running up a wall and jumping over the zombies and skeleton, to effectively corner them.
Unfortunately, his Athletics skill isn't that good, and he ended up rolling just shy of enough to do this, so he crashes into the skeleton in the process. But, this does end up cornering the zombies, as the skeleton had been standing behind them for arrow fire (which is now the case because it kind of makes sense and it was left vague before).

+1 random/mirror

7/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise (+1 Joe)
26/30 A Snowball’s Chance (+3 Joe)

Originally posted on 2017-05-30 16:05:00

10/30 Vengance
4/20 Halt!

+1 to Tabby, +1 to Jon Cena

SparkedTheorem punches the Ethics teacher with a bomb that explodes into white, pale, brown, black, and yellow. (This isn't meant to be racist.)

Originally posted on 2017-05-30 16:06:00

Variable drops a history textbook on the ethics professor’s head, dealing a great deal of damage from both the weight of the book and from the sheer force of historical breaches of ethics.

SIDEQUEST

Beta pulls the knives back out, and begins throwing them in all directions. Maybe he hits something.

+1 random/mirror

8/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise
27/30 A Snowball’s Chance

Originally posted on 2017-05-30 16:36:00

[PS] I attack the Bronze Knight again, this time hitting the helmet with blunt, heavy, and fast objects, trying to bend the visor close, while also throwing various things, like ash, sand, dirt, and glass shards through the visor into his face.
6/30 I a little thing called a pawn. +1 from variant
6/10 A little gift for my friends. +1 from variant
+1 to JOE +1 to variant

Originally posted on 2017-05-30 20:40:00

Perfect Storm, Part 4

It's time to end this. Time to take down the Plucked&Boiled!Terror Chicken. Taking a deep breath, I prepare for what needs to be done. I draw out the Base Entropic Sword I tried to make in 0rigins, about to use it for the first time.

I slit the Terror Chicken's throat.


A little investment 11/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +3 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 )
Elemental 7/25

+2 to 1412

Also, who here will actually use +1s to charges? I would rather not be giving them out to people who aren't keeping track of them.

Originally posted on 2017-06-01 00:19:00

I will use them if provided
/NULL

Originally posted on 2017-06-01 10:52:00

The Fallen: 30/60 (30/30 from me, 0/30) +1 from DCCCV
New Charge 4/10 +1 from DCCCV 9thanks for all the +s!
+1 DCCCV and Marron

I join DCCCV's attack against all that is terrifying and chickenly and pull out a flamethrower, Cooking it to a delicious golden brown. hopefully.


Originally posted on 2017-06-01 19:07:00

32%
0/64
64 energy boosting my attack (+3000andsomething)
almost forgot to delete that oops
a cold wind 27/30
16/25 The Gilded Chalice +1 amirroredclock
+2 Varient
I walk over to the bronze knight and kick his shins, before gathering a significant amount of cyan energy and firing it with extreme precision to knock out their theath through their helmet, then carving off their helmet so I can take its theath. I consider making some stew,but thats been done. instead, I create a 2-by-4 (thats what wood planks are called right?) and stick the theath to it so it can act as a mace.
as the saying goes, "Happy Murder Rampage Mode Engaged."
of course, I'm not actually Pionobot, so I conjure a Pionobot duplicate to kill the bronze knight.
but then Pionobot tries to kill me!
so I swap places with the bronze knight, but the pionobot turns around and keeps trying to kill me, so I create an illusion to make it think the bronze knight is me, causing happy murder rampage mode to target the knight. finally.

Originally posted on 2017-06-02 10:48:00

Tabbune removed from player list at notification of his leaving. Thank you for letting me know.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1496070388))

32% 64/64 64 energy boosting my attack (+3000andsomething) a cold wind 26/30 14/25 The Gilded Chalice +2 simu +2 amirroredclock +2 Varient plocolder I progress in sidequest, having gotten everything out of the way. yay! thomas does two creative attacks on azurewrath, unless he can kill with 1, in which case he does.if azurewrath dies, attack phoenix. Now then, for me... I get up and activate solar adrenaline, despite the risk of death. losing a turn won't matter that much, after all. i immediately dash to the bronze knight, slaming my fist into its side, and send it flying. an instant later, I've caught up, and slam into its side with a hammer of magma, sending it into a mountain populated by bronze-hating fire golems, which proceed to attack it. moments later, I reach it again and toss it up into the moon, which crashes to earth for the... 57th time I think? people destroy the moon or crash it into earth a lot. anyway the moon crashes to earth and then I arrive at the location and pummel the bronze knight with punches as solar adrenaline starts to wear off. the last punch sounds like this: tink. i then teleportal away. minorsidenote: i would have sighed, not gulped. I also walk over to thomas, tell him he's probably going to die real soon, pat him on the back, and thank him for all the work he's done. then remember he already knew all of this because he's just me with a different name. he is also probably very ded by the end of this turn

Sidequesting...
You continue along the streets, the guards in the marketplace thanking you for your help, and you soon find yourself face to face with the Royal Library. There's just one problem, the large construction crew working on an addition onto the library, under the direction of who you assume to be the head librarian.

You activate both of your damage potential boosters and blast right into the Bronze Knight with a fearsome barrage that deals 15000 damage.

QUOTE (Jondanger23 @ (time=1496080448))

I throw a 1x1x1 inch cube of every element at the Science Professor. super mario 128: 11/12 I DIDN'T BLOW UP THE BAR EITHER: 6/30 +1 to Irecreeper, +1 to Battlefury

Elementary dear Watson. 5000 damage to the Science Professor.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1496080510))

9/30 Vengance 3/20 Halt! +1 to 1412, +1 to DC^3V Azurewrath slices up the Tax Man, with the Bronze Knight doing the same. The English Professor realizes that Wirtig Project is spelled wrong, as well as the other Professors. The professors point this out to their boss and the English Professor is fired for having bad grammar. The English Professor decides to rob a bank for money and is arrested and sentenced to prison for the rest of his life. He is beat up by the other prisoners there.

The English Professor eventually breaks out of prison through unliscenced and unusual use of a paper and pencil, but he comes back with 7000 health less.

QUOTE (Irecreeper @ (time=1496081926))

o---Chages--- Return: 28 / 30 (+3, 1412, Jon) Thermal Power: 4 / 20 +2 to 1412 Current Summons Rather pissed about the death of Puppetblight, Marron turns her sights towards Thomas. She drags a non-Nightmarron scythe behind her, and lunges towards Thomas, the intent to kill highly obvious. She slices off one of Thomas's arms... then picks it up, and leaves. That was underwhelming. Although, losing an arm is very, very annoying for poor Thomas. At least he'll live. Hahahahaha. On the outskirts of the battlefield, Marron stitches Thomas's arm to the body of Puppetblight Ganon. His life energy feeds into the fabric of Puppetblight, giving it enough energy for one last attack! Its goal; killing Thomas for his sins. Puppetblight floats up, and now that he's free from the rules of being an entity, he surges forth, scythe greatly empowered. His scythe, made out of a pulsating black matter that glows with a midnight-hued flame, is glowing stronger than ever before- Puppetblight's own death earlier has fed into it somehow, turning it into the world's most lethal scythe. Puppetblight laughs as he surges forward, scythe sending up massive founts of rock as it drags behind him. He then proceeds to rip it right through the earth, causing the scythe to re-emerge below Thomas. The scythe cuts up through his body, instantly killing him. Well, kinda. He's just... vanished. Thomas finds himself re-appearing inside the interior of an a place made out of a strange stone- a robot? Thomas finds himself inside the Divine Beast, Dai Puphot. As the name suggests, it's a gigantic puppet. Thomas is currently located within the legs of the beast. He then hears a voice. tc: Hello, you little gorilla. tc: Welcome to the rest of your life! tc: If you want a sliiiight chance of leaving, I'd suggest heading up to the head and activating the mapping terminal. tc: But you won't make it there, will you? tc: Hah. Thomas begins to scurry up a ladder that's near him. However, the way up the ladder is covered in this painful black-and-red goop, which Thomas is forced to slog through! He manages to reach the top of the near mile-long ladder, reaching a round platform around the center of the chest, where the heart would be. The main control terminal rests there, but that's not his objective; Thomas needs to go to the head. He steps on a floating platform, and rides it up. However, there's a fan in the way that Thomas forgot to disable, and it launches him off the platform! It sends him falling down, all the way back down to the leg where he started. He impacts the ground hard. Or he would, if he didn't fall onto a gigantic spike, impaling him. Thomas, not quite dead from that, manages to slowly inch his body up the spike. Once he's off, he's forced to slog through the ladder again, once again reaching the heart platform. Once there, he notices a switch, over a pitfall. He's forced to jump for it. He jumps and manages to grab the switch! This deactivates the fan. It also activates an array of flamethrowers, lighting his entire body on fire and causing him to let go of the lever. He falls back down into the leg, this time landing on the spike head-first. Still somehow not dead from that, he very slowly and painfully removes himself from the spike, and re-slogs through fun pain goop slime death ladder. By the time he's reached the top of the ladder, he's completely exhausted, but still manages to drag himself over to the platform. It lifts him up, and he manages to reach the top as he's not hindered by the fan anymore. He reaches for his Shiekah Slate to activate the mapping terminal, and- tc: pffffft tc: You FORGOT your slate? tc: There's a gigantic neon sign down in the leg pointing to your free Shiekah Slate. tc: So... go and head back down there! Thomas sighs, and walks back to the platform. Instead of gently descending, the platform rockets downwards and tilts at an angle, sending Thomas falling back down onto the spike, this time lower area first. Something something, unimpale, and Thomas searches for the sign and the slate. Neither of them are there. tc: Oh, I didn't specify which leg! tc: It's the other leg. Idiot. Thomas goes "OH GOD I NEED TO GO THROUGH THE LADDER AGAIN" and then sucks it up, and climbs up through the ladder one more time. Once back at the heart platform, he looks for a safe way down into the other leg. While he does see the neon sign down there, there doesn't seem to be a safe way down, besides a pool of water down below. He figures that he can dive down into it, and proceeds to swan dive into not water, but acid. He scrambles and screams to get out of the acid, and once out of the pool, lies on the ground, trying to recollect himself. He fails to notice the Guardian down in the leg as he rolls through his pain. The Guardian down there suddenly chops at Thomas using its axe, gravely wounding him. However, Thomas, now fueled with adrenaline, manages to write up a SMASH and instantly obliterate the guardian. He then claims his Shiekah Slate, and looks for a way up out of the leg. There's a little valve on the wall, which he turns and rotates. Acid begins to spray up from that pool that he swan-dived into, creating a "water elevator" of sorts. It's the only way up. Thomas braces himself, and jumps into the spray of acid. The pillar of acid launches him back up to the heart platform, and leaves him writhing in pain. After about an hour of just lying down, completely overwhelmed with pain, Thomas regains his will to carry on, and advances back up onto the floating platform. He then finally manages to activate the Mapping Terminal. He then gains control over the arms of Dai Puphot as they're probably required for puzzles, and also obtains the map for Dai Puphot. He surveys the map, and realizes something; Every inch of Dai Puphot was designed to inflict pain onto the invader. Thomas sighs. This will be a long, painful day. He begins by tackling one of the terminals that's hidden back within the leg he started in. He decides to actually just climb the ladder back down into that leg, slogging through the goop once again, and finds a lever. He pulls the lever, causing an arrow trap to activate, riddling him with Shock arrows. He spasms and drops to the ground. He manages to pull himself together though, and then activates one of the terminals that was revealed by pulling the lever. One down, four more to go. Thomas returns to the other leg of the Divine Beast, forced to just jump down and smash into the ground without any bit of acid to "cushion" his descent. He cries out in pain, but manages to crawl through a gauntlet of saws, spikes, and freakin' laser beams. Well, he didn't really "make" it. He managed to get himself caught on every saw, impaled on every spike, and fried by every single last laser beam. He takes a pained step to the terminal, and activates it. Then he's forced to slog back through the entire gauntlet again, coming out with even more injuries. He's then forced to ride the pillar of acid back up to the heart platform. By this point, Thomas can barely even lift a limb. Marron's voice echoes throughout the beast again. tc: Hm. I'm actually feeling a little sorry for you. tc: Why not go and activate the main terminal now? I've lifted the restrictions; you don't need to get any more terminals. tc: You're free! Thomas drags himself inch by inch to activate the main terminal. He plants his slate on the console, activating it! However, a red-and-black energy swirls out of the terminal, revealing Puppetblight Ganon, once again! It laughs as a single needle descends from the sky, string trailing behind it. Thomas, unable to move at all, is forced to endure the pain of the needle constantly entering and exiting his body. Once the needle's done tormenting him, string has been laid all throughout his body. Puppetblight lets the needle vanish, before conjuring his scythe! He sticks it to where the needle once was, now stuck in a constant spin. He then grabs hold of one of the string that's inside Thomas's body, and pulls. The scythe moves back through every hole that the needle went through, but not with nearly as much grace. It severs and obliterates his innards and limbs, causing a serious amount of blood to be sprayed all over the heart platform. The final bit the scythe cuts through, just to maximise the pain, is Thomas's head. It's cleaved right in two, made unidentifiable from the remainder of Thomas's giblets. Puppetblight then scoops up the giblets as his energy fades, and transfers them back to the battlefield, the giblets pouring out like a waterfall over JOE's head. His energy now fully expended, Puppetblight vanishes into a black smoke, removed from existence. All leftover damage, if any, will go and fry the Ethics Professor.

Wait, I thought Puppetblight Ganon was dead? ... Oh well. I guess Thomas is too now.
The Ethics professor finds this entire thing incredibly unethical, and takes 10000 damage from trying to figure out how it fits into his worldview.

QUOTE (randomusername @ (time=1496090111))

I insult the English Professor's sexual orientation through carefully designed rhyme phrases, then subtly imply that I have had unsuitable relations with his mother. The professor suffers a moderate amount of burn damage. A Knife 2/27 Oversized Insult Machine 1/21

The English Professor bursts into flames, taking 6000 damage from the sick burns before applying an ice pack.

QUOTE (A Mirrored Clock @ (time=1496090755))

[PS] I weaken the Bronze Knight's armor by pouring multiple acids and staining materials on it, like hydrochloric acid, burning oil, tar, and fire, to warp and bend it, focusing on the joints. 4/30 I a little thing called a pawn-+1 from Sim 4/10 A little gift for my friends.-+1 from Sim +2  to JOE

He's meeellltttiiiiiiiiinggg...
6000 damage.

QUOTE (DCCCV @ (time=1496096243))

Perfect Storm, Part 3 Now that the feathers have been loosened, it's time to pluck. This supernaturally durable bird won't be flying anytime soon! A vortex of wind plucks the Terror Chicken plumb naked, plunging it into the open-air cage full of boiling water. A little investment 10/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +3 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 ) Elemental 6/25 +2 to 1412

The terror chicken quickly regrows its feathers, but the wind disorients it sending into the open air cage. It quickly squawks in outrage and screams back into the air, but it's taken 7000 damage.

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1496120900))

The Fallen: 28/60 (28/30 from me, 0/30) +2 from marron +2 from DCCCV +1 from redstone New Charge 2/10 +2 marron While no one's looking I run off to play baseball. When it's my turn to bat, I just sort of bump it lamely and get to first base. At the next guy's go, I steal second! and on the next guy's turn, third as well! I then leave with my ill-gotten bases before anyone can stop me and use them to reinforce the Bronze Knight's armor. The addition of bases neutralizes the acids, because that's definitely how chemistry works. Definitely.

This definitely is how chemistry works. 100%.
6000 health restored.

QUOTE (randomusername @ (time=1496125036))

Using ice magic, I lower the temperature of my breath and then blow into the English Professor's ear, causing their mind to begin numbing. A Knife 3/27 Oversized Insult Machine 2/21

BRAIN FREEZE!
5000 damage.

QUOTE (variant @ (time=1496156742))

Looks like the situation’s changed a bit. Time to react accordingly. So, accordingly, Variable drops an accordion from SPACE!!!!! It lands near the science professor, and starts moving across the ground like a slinky, emitting a horrendous cacophony (which wouldn’t be bad if there was a willing music professor on hand) both on landing and as it goes. The science professor is then assaulted with both the horrible noise and the violation of basic physical principles (for example, conservation of energy) represented by this phenomenon, doing serious damage to his mental state. The Pseudo-Player decides to see if the math professor can calculate the damage they’re about to take from a Dipole swing. The Tax Man suddenly realizes that he can’t actually attack anything on PS, with the exception of Thomas (who’s likely to have already been mulched by the time he gets to act) and possibly JOE. So, if he can (to any effect), he attacks JOE, or if he can’t, he gets some petty revenge on Azurewrath. SIDEQUEST Beta, realizing that he’s about to be cornered, decides to use a few tricks of his own, running up a wall and jumping over the zombies and skeleton, to effectively corner them. Unfortunately, his Athletics skill isn't that good, and he ended up rolling just shy of enough to do this, so he crashes into the skeleton in the process. But, this does end up cornering the zombies, as the skeleton had been standing behind them for arrow fire (which is now the case because it kind of makes sense and it was left vague before). +1 random/mirror 7/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise (+1 Joe) 26/30 A Snowball’s Chance (+3 Joe)

Oh no! Accordians! One of the evil instruments, thank goodness there's no music professor here to suffer for your art. 8000 damage to the science prof.

You successfully dodge the incoming attack AND smash the skeleton to pieces.

QUOTE (Redstonetam15 @ (time=1496156773))

10/30 Vengance 4/20 Halt! +1 to Tabby, +1 to Jon Cena SparkedTheorem punches the Ethics teacher with a bomb that explodes into white, pale, brown, black, and yellow. (This isn't meant to be racist.)

The bomb does nothing, but the accidental racism triggers the ethics professor so hard his head explodes, dealing 5000 damage.

QUOTE (variant @ (time=1496158566))

Variable drops a history textbook on the ethics professor’s head, dealing a great deal of damage from both the weight of the book and from the sheer force of historical breaches of ethics. SIDEQUEST Beta pulls the knives back out, and begins throwing them in all directions. Maybe he hits something. +1 random/mirror 8/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise 27/30 A Snowball’s Chance

Ah the crushing weight of the sins of the past. 6000 damage.

You throw knives everywhere, dealing 2 damage to both of the zombies.

QUOTE (A Mirrored Clock @ (time=1496173219))

[PS] I attack the Bronze Knight again, this time hitting the helmet with blunt, heavy, and fast objects, trying to bend the visor close, while also throwing various things, like ash, sand, dirt, and glass shards through the visor into his face. 6/30 I a little thing called a pawn. +1 from variant 6/10 A little gift for my friends. +1 from variant +1 to JOE +1 to variant

I believe the bronze knight is made out of bronze, but nonetheless bashing him on the head works. 6000 damage.

QUOTE (DCCCV @ (time=1496272748))

Perfect Storm, Part 4 It's time to end this. Time to take down the Plucked&Boiled!Terror Chicken. Taking a deep breath, I prepare for what needs to be done. I draw out the Base Entropic Sword I tried to make in 0rigins, about to use it for the first time. I slit the Terror Chicken's throat. A little investment 11/20(+3 from Variant, +3 from Irecreeper +3 Redstonetam15, +1 Jondanger23, +2 from 1412 ) Elemental 7/25 +2 to 1412 Also, who here will actually use +1s to charges? I would rather not be giving them out to people who aren't keeping track of them.

The Terror Chicken flails about as you try to grab it to slit its throat and takes many slash wounds from your blade. 7000 damage.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1496310737))

I will use them if provided /NULL

But why would he give them to YOU. You're the ENEMY.

QUOTE (1412 @ (time=1496340460))

The Fallen: 30/60 (30/30 from me, 0/30) +1 from DCCCV New Charge 4/10 +1 from DCCCV 9thanks for all the +s! +1 DCCCV and Marron I join DCCCV's attack against all that is terrifying and chickenly and pull out a flamethrower, Cooking it to a delicious golden brown. hopefully.

The chicken does not seem to appreciate being deep-fried. 6000 damage.

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1496396926))

32% 0/64 64 energy boosting my attack (+3000andsomething) almost forgot to delete that oops a cold wind 27/30 16/25 The Gilded Chalice +1 amirroredclock +2 Varient I walk over to the bronze knight and kick his shins, before gathering a significant amount of cyan energy and firing it with extreme precision to knock out their theath through their helmet, then carving off their helmet so I can take its theath. I consider making some stew,but thats been done. instead, I create a 2-by-4 (thats what wood planks are called right?) and stick the theath to it so it can act as a mace. as the saying goes, "Happy Murder Rampage Mode Engaged." of course, I'm not actually Pionobot, so I conjure a Pionobot duplicate to kill the bronze knight. but then Pionobot tries to kill me! so I swap places with the bronze knight, but the pionobot turns around and keeps trying to kill me, so I create an illusion to make it think the bronze knight is me, causing happy murder rampage mode to target the knight. finally.

You get abruptly stomped on by Pionobot who only stops to deal 8000 damage to the Bronze Knight before flying away to go wreak havoc somewhere else.
You'll probably see him again in the future at a REALLY inconvenient point in time.


Originally posted on 2017-06-02 17:35:00

Azurewrath and the bronze knight team up together, charging forward in a series of goofy-looking sword stances that seem to hold no purpose... but a true swordmaster would know that they have entered cutscene mode and are in the middle of performing an attack of incredible power! Together the two of them unleash a massive barrage of energy swords on the tax man that almost annihilate him in one blow. The phoenix fleis up and expresses 2000 hit points worth of displeasure with the Terror Chicken's continued existence, and the puppet knight charges forward and slashes at the ethics professor for 4000 damage.

The Tax man staggers to his feet, he may be mortally wounded, but he's got a job to do, dangit. He marches over to JOE, and after a short while (that I narrated in greater detail before accidentally closing out the tab with the completed EoTB) it becomes apparent that he has WAY overdue back taxes, and the Tax Man drops the entire IRS headquarters on him. JOE dies.

Thomas fails to respawn due to being dead, and the Terror Chicken falls out of the sky due to having lost large quantities of its feathers, losing Chicken Out in the process. The professors all get together and begin discussing very seriously the next course of action they should take, and finally, decide they should assign a joint project to azurewrath and the phoenix. The weight of all the end-of-course work gets to them immediately and begins piling down, weighing on their brains, causing such amounts of trauma that they both take 10000 damage. The student aides hang back. They don't seem to be super inclined towards attacking... what are they here for?

The simumodder continues being a lazy git and just +2s Mirror and JOE

Everything ticks up and down. The healing notes finally get tired of being ignored, and stand up and walk away without a word.

Itinerary:
Destroy the Simumodder!
Destroy the Terror Chicken!

Entity Advantage: [PS]

Weather: Sword Dance (2000 damage to two PS entities every round.)
Terrain: Disaster Relief (heals 2000 health to every entity each round.)

Simumodder [PS]: Hp: 87/100. Golden Sun [A]. Nuclear Heaven [A]
Terror Chicken [PS][Elite] Hp: 112,000/300,000. Chicken out: 1/2. Feathery Wrath: 4/4. Marked. 1 Minus
History Professor [PS] Hp: 75,000/75,000. The Past is Behind Us: 2/5
Ethics Professor [PS] Hp: 50,000/75,000. Unethical: 2/4
Math Professor [PS] Hp: 75,000/75,000. NUMBERS. NUMBERS. 2/6
Science Professor [PS] Hp: 64,000/75,000. Lab Safety Lesson: 2/5
English Professor [PS] Hp: 59,000/75,000. Wirtig Porject: 2/6
Student Aide x5 [PS] Hp: 20,000/20,000
JOEbob [PS - Player] Hp: DED/22. Astral Energy: 33%. Energy Stored: 0/66. Solar Adrenaline: 0/5. Disorient 0/6

Pseudo-Player [N - Variant]: HP: 16/20. Polarize 2/2. 4/10
Tax Man [N - Variant]: HP: 6,000/40,000. Capital Gains 5/10. 1 Plus

Healing note x4
Azurewrath, Lord of the Void [AS - Redstone] Hp: 7,000/60,000. 1 Plus. 4 rounds
Phoenix [AS - DCCCV] Hp: 9,000/20,000. ranged.
Puppet Knight [AS - 1412] Hp: 30,000/30,000. Valor: 4/5
Bronze Knight [AS - redstone] Hp: 13,000/40,000.
SparkedTheorem [AS - Player] Hp: 17/20. Firebrand [A] Durability: 55%. Illumina [A] Durability: 90%
Emerald [AS - Player] Hp: 20/20. Blood blade [A] Durability: 100%
1412 [AS - Player] Hp: 20/20. Present from the Present: 4/4. Actions: 0/5.

---

The Local Town: The market
construction crew
Head librarian
JOEbob

Stronghold Monster Corridor
Zombies x2: Hp: 5
Variant.



AS:
Jondanger23
DCCCV
Redstonetam15
1412
Battlefury
Irecreeper
randomusername

N:
Variant

PS
JOEbob
A Mirrored Clock

Originally posted on 2017-06-02 17:38:00

33%
0/66
a cold wind 28/30
20/25 The Gilded Chalice +2 simu +1AMC
+2 Varient

Oh, I'm dead? huh.
I do the obvious and re-swanrespawn

Originally posted on 2017-06-02 17:57:00

[PS] I go over to the English Professor and begin applying medical aid to them, sewing up some of their wounds.
8/30 I a little thing called a pawn. +1 from Sim
8/10 A little gift for my friends. +1 from Sim
+1 to JOE +1 to variant

Originally posted on 2017-06-02 22:08:00

11/30 Vengance
5/20 Halt!

+1 to Abby, +1 to variable

Azurewrath and Bronze Knight attack(!) the Terror Chicken.

Meanwhile...
SparkedTheorem turns to the English Professor

SparkedTheorem: You know, there's # (a) reason ### (why) this ##### (sword) is called Firebrand.
SparkedTheorem:Because it ##### (turns) people into ##### (stone).


Originally posted on 2017-06-03 00:24:00

I Just Realized that my "A little investment" has actually in fact gone over it's intended charge cap. I shall rectify that now, by using it.
A little investment 24/24

Seeing that my attacks are not doing that much in the grand scheme of things, I perform a hard slash across one of the wings of the Terror Chicken. Searing heat and freezing cold surge along the blade, as energy is randomly distributed across the sword. The resulting slice was so hard that I cut into the space-time continuum, which opens up, sucking me into it. I am transported into the library the professors were in 2 seconds before the Simumodder opened up a portal, where I hit the History Professor with the same slash, knocking him out cold. I am then sucked back into the rift, where I am transported back to the present time. In the Present, the History Professor winks out of existence, since if he was knocked out, he couldn't have gone into the portal to the battlefield. The History Professor's Student Aides also wink out, since they are busy rushing the concussed Past History Professor to the nearest doctor.

BOO YEAH.

Elemental 8/25



Originally posted on 2017-06-03 01:30:00

I light a box of stale memes on fire, causing the highly volatile mass to begin exploding. I toss the fiery mass at the person who would be offended the most, the English Professor.

A Knife 4/27
Oversized Insult Machine 5/21 (+2 from variant)

+2 to variant

Originally posted on 2017-06-03 10:13:00

+1 random/DCCCV

17/30 Legitimate Business Enterprise (+8 Mirror/Joe/Random)
28/30 A Snowball’s Chance

Originally posted on 2017-06-03 18:19:00

I go up to the Ethics Professor with a briefcase full of cash. "Take this money and leave. What do you mean, 'that goes against my ethics'? Just take the money!"

I then smack the Ethics Professor in the face with the briefcase.

super mario 128: 12/12 eggscutting

I DIDN'T BLOW UP THE LAW OFFICE OR THE DETECTIVE'S OFFICE: 8/30 (+1 from Redstone)

Suddenly, exactly 128 clones of Mario appear!

Mario Clone: 100 HP (there are 128 of them)
Attacks:
Generic Punch: 10 damage.
Jump: 25 damage, takes one turn to charge.
Passives:
Weakness in Numbers: For every Mario Clone killed, the others gain 5 damage on all of their attacks.

+2 to Redstone


Originally posted on 2017-06-03 19:36:00