Koharu Kagemiya's Epic Adventure
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Koharu Kagemiya's Epic Adventure
You are Koharu Kagemiya, an ordinary anime girl and retired Thymium character. You and your master Nullpetal are on your way to Cell 37b aboard la .kesyblot., a spaceship currently 97.3% of the way through the intercellular void between Cells 156 and 33.4. At Cell 33.4, it'll make several stops to pick up travelers from various civilizations. The built-in TV in your cabin is tuned to the information channel, which regularly displays the distance to the next stop on the itinerary: 17 hours and 25 minutes to Port Gregicality, Naquadah Springs Ԫ-Xcix Cluster, Space 2 (founded 29631).

You remember that Space 2 (founded 29631) is a Gregic space colony founded in 33169 RD, and is very much intended to be confused with the Speakonian colony, Space 2, which was founded in 29631 RD.

You're relaxing in bed, reading a book (it's The Complete Lojban Language, since you want to chat up that cute jbopre from cabin number 5691) when the door opens. Nullpetal is standing in the doorway, wearing her usual battlemage armor.

NULLPETAL: Evening, Koharu. Come here for a moment, will you?

You sigh, put the book on the bedside table, and walk to the door. There's no disobeying Nullpetal's orders.

As you reach the door, you notice a young elf standing just out of sight, also clad in similarly-intricate battlemage armor and holding a tome inscribed with some very complex seal script characters. Upon seeing you, the elf visibly recoils.

NULLPETAL: Giloroth, this is my familiar, Koharu. Koharu, this is my new associate, Giloroth.
KOHARU: ... Hi. Don't worry, I'm relatively safe.

As the elf hears you speak - in clear and coherent English, albeit with a slight accent somewhere between Toki Ponist and Japanese that you've never bothered to stamp out - his expression turns from fear to fascination.

GILOROTH: Wow... She speaks English?
KOHARU: ... U-uh... yes? Why wouldn't- oh.

You stop yourself as you remember that most Anime Girl Plague victims only speak... that stuff. You barely know how to speak it coherently any more, but at least you remember its name - Kasoabitsu.

NULLPETAL: She does. Isn't she amazing? I cured her myself, you know.
GILOROTH: ... Uh. Is she safe to touch?

You'd be more insulted if you didn't get this from everyone on board this ship. Hell, when you boarded, you nearly got shoved into the quarantine pocket dimension by telekinesis-enabled caster-robots controlled remotely through four proxies and three daemons. You're pretty much used to it at this point.

NULLPETAL: Of course. I wouldn't be so irresponsible as to let an infectious anime girl just run around, would I?
GILOROTH: ... Right. Pleased to meet you, Koharu.

Giloroth extends his hand, covered in red-stained bandages, for you to shake.

KOHARU: Likewise.

You shake his hand, then bow for good measure.

NULLPETAL: Come on, now, we're going up to the observation deck.
KOHARU: ... Um. Should I follow you?
NULLPETAL: Of course, unless you wouldn't want her coming with us, Gil?
GILOROTH: I don't mind.
KOHARU: Hold on. Let me get my stuff.

Without waiting for a response, you pick up your treasured book of logical-speech and catch up with your master and her new friend, who have made their way down the corridor.

As you make your way to the elevator, Giloroth tries to strike up a conversation with you.

GILOROTH: Koharu, was it? It's honestly surprising seeing a cured anime girl at all, much less on a spaceship like this.
KOHARU: ... U-uh, yeah. I'm told I'm quite... unusual, in that sense.
GILOROTH: Are you, like, a cyborg or something? Pretty sure those are mechanical joints on your arms.
KOHARU: Sort of? I don't actually know.
GILOROTH: ... Huh.
GILOROTH: ... You can just call me Gil, by the way. I barely even speak Sindarin any more.
KOHARU: Alright. Pleased to meet you, Gil.

You reach the elevator. Nullpetal jabs the up button with her knuckle. Surprisingly, the door opens immediately, and the three of you shuffle inside.

The elevator ride's not long enough to be uncomfortable, and the experience is smooth and uninterrupted as you make your way up to the observation deck.

The doors open to show a vast darkness above you and to your sides; you can see Cell 33.4 as a reasonably sized ball of light right ahead. You notice three groups of people that stand out:

- Two Minecraftians clad in dark steel armor are standing right up next to the glass hull. Next to them is someone in a mechanical exosuit, the back of which is decked out in decadent RGB lights.

- The ghost of a young-looking girl is staring at her phone. Occasionally, she glances at the teenage calico-furred catboy next to her, who is reading an electronic music magazine.

- A pink-haired Pokémon trainer in a wheelchair is accompanied by her shiny Gothitelle, who is using telekinesis to draw in a sketchbook, and her Gallade, who appears to be deep in concentration.

NULLPETAL: Koharu, Gil and I need a bit of time to discuss some business propositions with a mutual friend. You can just stay around here, I'll come find you once we're done and we can go for lunch.

You nod. Nullpetal and Gil go over to a man clad in a black suit and wearing sunglasses, sitting at one of the tables laid out towards the back of the hull, and they begin to speak in hushed voices.

Well, you need to pass the time somehow. What will you do?

→ Chat up the ghost girl and catboy.

→ Chat up the ghost girl and catboy.

You decide to take a look at the ghost and the catboy. If there's a ghost haunting the ship, you might as well get on her good side, you guess?

As you approach, the ghost stands up and waves at you. You feel slightly chilly, even though she seems friendly enough...

???: a-ah.
???: um. hi!
???: m-my name's rana. i... i'm dead, as you can probably tell.
KOHARU: Y-yes, I can see that.
RANA: you seem awfully interested in us...
KOHARU: Uh, yeah. Just thought I'd be friendly and get to know you two.

The catboy finally notices the two of you and stands up, taking his earbuds out of his... human ears? Does he have two pairs of ears? You also notice that he's awfully pale.

???: Nyahallo! Name's Shiro. I'm... also dead. Yes.
KOHARU: ... U-uh. You seem pretty alive to me, save for the-

It's then he unzips his jacket partially, revealing a blood stain on his shirt that looks extremely unpleasant. You wince, regretting having questioned him.

KOHARU: ... O-okay, that explains it... oh man that is disturbing.
SHIRO: Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to freak you out there. What's your name?
KOHARU: ... I'm Koharu. You two are quite cheerful for... undead.
RANA: i mean... i don't really see why we wouldn't be? we're quite content with being, like, dead.
SHIRO: O-oh! Wanna hear my new song?

So that explains the magazine.

KOHARU: ... N-no, not really. No offense.
SHIRO: Alright then. None taken.

Shiro nods.

SHIRO: So, do you just look this... animesque normally?
KOHARU: ... Yeah. You've heard of the Anime Girl Plague incident, right?

As soon as you mention the Anime Girl Plague, the catboy immediately freaks the fuck out.

SHIRO: W-wait, WHAT?!
KOHARU: ... N-no, no, calm down, I'm not contagious. Uh... it's a long story.
SHIRO: ... phew. Go on.
RANA: wait. there are only two reported anime girl plague incidents, and the only one i could ostensibly pin you down as originating from is...
KOHARU: The Zeroth War, yes - but not quite. It's a long story..
RANA: w-wow.
SHIRO: ... Zeroth war?
KOHARU: Yeah. To be fair, though it's a long story, I suppose I could tell it.
RANA: i'd love to hear it.
KOHARU: Well, uh... Rana, you're familiar with the Zeroth War, I presume? You know the Descendant W32Coravint?
RANA: y-yeah?
KOHARU: Yeah, I'll let you in on a little secret; he was never a real player to begin with. Rather, he was a robot interface, and, um...

You sigh.

KOHARU: I'm... what became of him.
RANA: but... that can't be, the records i read show that w32 died when throne ii detonated! there's no way-
KOHARU: The records... well, they don't really show what happened after the "game" stopped...
RANA: so... if you're an anime girl plague entity, and also w32, that means...
RANA: that means you were most likely turned by exe, right?
KOHARU: Y-yeah. W32 saved a copy of her - what I think he called her "Core". That core spread a small amount of the contagion to him inadvertently, so when he "died"...
KOHARU: The radiation kind of activated the plague the same way being killed by an anime girl would.
RANA: a-ah. well, it's cool to meet a descendant, or a former one!
KOHARU: You say that, but... I don't really feel like he and I are the same person. For one, he was just a facet of a higher power, one I've never met, and two, I only share his memories, not his personality, or so I'm told.

Suddenly, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You briefly freak out, then turn around to see the shiny Gothitelle from before with a red and black sling bag slung over its shoulder and a sketchbook under its right arm.

RANA: ... um, do you need something?

The Gothitelle speaks in an androgynous voice. You wonder if it's always been able to speak, or if its trainer taught it.

???: Umm. Sorry for intruding, but I overheard your conversation and found it... rather interesting, and pertinent to my trainer's interests. May we join you?

Make your choice:
- Let the Gothitelle and her trainer join in.
- Politely decline.