[X] Kite A Wave, Build A Wave

HEY OCEAN GO HIT NAUG: <9 12 16 9 18 = 64>
Does anyone miss the memo?: <11 9 1 13 8 = 42>
(Gap 22)

The level 5 temple city of Pentagon Capricornus is a sea temple that spawns all manner of sea monsters, buildings scattered across the rocks in a funky mix of Greece-knockoffs, Venice-but-not-organized-well, and pirate ship wrecks. Mostly it makes kraken, electro flying man-o-wars, transit leviathans, sharknado nereids, sky piranha, and a number of other hazardous things.

A wave of krakens is kited in the direction of NAUG's outlying cities.

This bodes badly for NAUG's depleted navy.



NAUG defense roll: <3 4 18 2 8 = 35> + 30 = 65
Kraken attack roll: <4 20 17 11 15 = 67> + 30 = 97

The krakens are indeed bullshit, and keep sinking NAUG's ships. Artillery will take several turns to pick them off AND rebuild an invasion force, so that will buy you time to deal with matters cleanly.

Scan Beatrice:

Beatrice has the same mechanical stats as Kinzo: +90 Occult, +15 everything else. The selection of constituent bonuses and action priorities is different, but keeps shifting with the game too fast to read and nonsensical when screenshotted.

What IS with the scan messages in this game, anyway?

oh, like the games they're just kinda fluffy

Kinzo has a heart attack AGAIN: He's already dead!
Beatrice has a heart attack at the poison being mailed: <13 5 6 3 1 = 28> + 5 = 33
Beatrice does not have heart conditions (seriously that heart is bloody ridiculous): <16 11 12 14 11 = 64> + 15 = 79
(Gap -46)

Kinzo's dead corpse seizes up as if having a heart attack all over again! This feat of necromancy distracts Beatrice from the unfortunate letter-opener-expendo-infantry receiving the poison gas and getting killed by a war crime.



SELL AXES: <20 6 1 16 2 = 45>
BUY AXES: <17 1 5 16 20 = 59>
(Gap -14)

Jewel Queen agrees to buy the axes you're selling at a reasonable rate! Passing them off as a temporary looting situation is unclear in effectiveness (probably didn't really work). But it does mean that this is effectively a one-time cash infusion until you either claim another looting victory or drop the act. The treasury is now in a decent condition! (if we were tracking that it would be much more important. For next game, maybe.)

Moth physics research: <5 20 12 5 13 = 55>

The moths...are moths. Yes. Moths perform the role of various subatomic particles and atomic-to-molecular forces, with a few macroscopically-detectable field shenanigans in play. They're not all the forces, but they're the overwhelming majority of domestic ones. The exceptions are raw magic spiritrons and a few other esoteric spirit particles, which compose things like 'divinity', 'actuation methods compositing any individual moth spirit and their collective participle', and 'narrative-mechanic interstice causality'. They're somewhat of an imposed structure keeping things stable because there's very little model definition besides Redacted and friends right now. Moths can do moth things and also the size they are can explicitly be inconsistent. This allows for things like representing clusters of molecules or even sub-definitions that would normally encompass organs, magic systems, or defined spiritual properties (e.g. larger objects can be smaller numbers of moths than expected by their mole count). Exposing the angels on your ribs...

AXEMEN TRAINING: <8 13 1 19 6 = 47>

It goes okay! There are a number of unit types that are competent with axe-wielding, mostly knight-class and the occasional generic constructor-and-chopper type like the digging ones. Axemen can be assumed to exist among sufficiently varied force concentrations and can be specifically called out.

BUILD THE FIREWAVE: <17 12 15 10 10 = 64>
This goes nicely. Sheeplestan and a bit of Eurythm get together and pop a lot of rocks while Ocean's Fledge City and Violens restock their defenses. A bevy of Fire Rocks is at hand, without needing to drain the treasury for spam-promotions.

HOW ABOUT THEM GUNSMITHINGS: <17 14 13 14 9 =67>
The Eurythm Gunnery has been established with flying colors! By abusing the Internet and some reverse-engineering, guns can now be manufactured and various stereotypes of gun user made into practically achievable units! GUN!

Prepare for the Invasion of Pentagon Antisanta.
[ ] Rush Like An Avalanche
Bust in there with the fire rocks acquired and see what happens.

[ ] More Siege
The city is substantially more fortified than anything else you've encountered so far. Build a bigger force and have more things to roll against it, particularly any architectural fortifications that might obstruct you.

[ ] Burn It Down
You have fire rocks. Apply prodigious volumes of fire until it burns down and the south pole can be claimed from the ashes, don't bother conventional fighting when firestarting will do.

[ ] Cheat That Way
- [ ] (godmodder attacks)
hey you guys did canonically just pull out a nuke shroom that would have severely damaged a lv2. like, the godmodder's in captivity you can basically waltz over and do the Let's Cheat when wiping out that pentagon, I won't judge.

Oh, and it's been over 100 turns due to all the bullshit. Time is wonky and moreso now that it's been shaken and stirred, but I can live with it. Nedben stole this idea from the Renaissance Mod for Warlock 2: The Exiled. Basically it's a buff event that can bolster strategy for the midgame.
Regardless of choice, population growth will speed up a bit so leveling up cities becomes more affordable faster.

[ ] Agriculture
Food resource production is significantly boosted and harder to strain. Food-related resource tiles will have more natural options autosuggested. This will also favorably affect some upkeep-related circumstances and environmental situations.

[ ] Economics
Abstract monetary resource production is significantly boosted and harder to strain. Financially-exploitable resource tiles will have more natural options autosuggested. This will also favorably affect raw pop rate of most objects and certain units.

[ ] Research
Research and development production is significantly boosted and harder to strain. Developmental resource tiles will have more natural options autosuggested. You guys can already cheat a lot about introducing things, but this means setting the mages on something new will be easier.

[ ] Magical Energy
Magic juice production is significantly boosted and harder to strain. Mystical resource tiles will have more natural options autosuggested. This will also bolster what an individual caster is expected to be capable of within the realm of established technology / raw blasting, and make it a lot easier to acquire Novice-grade full casters.

[ ] Culture
The impacts of this are difficult to predict but apparently relate to passive territory modification, unit upgrades, and protection against certain nasty Intrigue-check tricks.

SKELEDOP IN PROGRESS BECAUSE DINNER... ated the pizza ok we gud, updato complete

TIMEMODDER: 83/100 (in Ocean's Fledge City prison, currently inactivated)
ROYALTY: 43 dead, 20 Timemodder (Lapi heir??), 10 Countess Beatrice Castiglioni, 10 Jewel Queen, 1 Lapi, 1 Bunkering King, 15 unknown but presumed alive
PENTAGONS: 7 ash, 2 neutral (Antisanta, Capricornus), 2 unknown, 1 Jewel Queen

[X] Cheat that way.

[Y] These are Polar bears. how many poles? one. we can tell, because they aren't bipolar bears, and tripolar magnets are ridiculous. Since they're polar, they're naturally attracted to magnetic poles of the opposite charge, that's how poles work. Luckily, we have shock rocks, so we can make an electromagnet of the opposite kind! With this, we can equip all* of our troops with anti-polar-bear forcefields powered by Magnets
*some

[Z] We have Shadraks, Polar Bears sleep at night, and sides have a finite supply of heirs. Equip a Shadrak with an axe- specifically, one of the ones which can expand as large as a castle, like the first one- have it sneak in, and assassinate the Polar Bear leader by axespansion while simultaneously thowing itself out of the hex by recoil. If they have heirs, we can repeat the process until they catch on to the specifics, which should take a plural amount of times.

[B] hm... polar bears? how many are there here? I'll tell you how many: not four. and four, as we know, is the perfect number of bears. Summon the Four Bears, which didn't actually happen in CTG but almost happened arguably. All the other bears are lesser.


[A] this situation isn't giving me all that much inspiration so if we fail to cheat the way I'm game for Burn It Down. We don't really need their level 5 city, it's way more impactful to make our own and customselect the upgrade boosts.

[I] Culture. sure I guess Culture sounds alright. Why, though?the other options are incremental changes in a redacted system with odd overlaps which would be difficult to observe and will upset the current balance if they actualise. This option is less defined but counterintuitively makes a greater demand for some sort of visible result. it may also be easier to bend to new purpose.

[X] Cheat that Way!

I move the electromagnetic South Pole northward! This is easily accomplished since we're working with 63% less mass than we were to begin with, and a good 40-something of that is on fire!

Since the South Pole is no longer the South Pole, the Polar Bears suffer from an extreme drop in morale. Their leaders rush to rebrand their base, leaving them open for attack!

[X] In the middle of their new advertising campaign, I reveal that I moved the South Pole to that one Fleshy Biome! Suddenly, the diehard South-ist Polar Bears revolt against the now Northern Empire, beginning a mass migration out of their city! They trek across the land to their new home, and begin trying to establish a city in the sentient flesh biome. Unfortunately, the place is inhabited. By the Flesh Biome! So the Polar Bears declare war on the biome itself to establish their new capital.

This can only have CONSEQUENCES! The costs or benefits are yet unclear!

[X] With the city relatively empty, I capture the city! I place a king chess piece in the middle of the city, and then, from outside, I punt a pawn at the King. The pawn knocks over the King, and THAT'S CHECKMATE, BABY!!!

[X] A giant baby suddenly falls on the city! It starts using the Polar Bears as stuffed animals! In that it literally stuffs them itself!

[X] The baby evacs the area because our Fire Rocks are about to get there! But before it evacs, it farts on the entire city! This ruins the Polar Bears' hunting senses, allowing our force of Fire Rocks to sneak up and attack!

[X] And since there's such a huge cloud of methane from the baby, the Fire Rocks ignite it, kabooming the entire city! EXCESSIVE DAMAGE IS THE BEST DAMAGE!

[X] And if we haven't taken the not-South Pole by now, the Fire Rocks charge in and finish the job!

[X] Sure, I'll support Culture. We can try that whole "make Violens Gothic" trick again. Get some Vampires popping or something. Find some new named characters, maybe. Whatever the upgrade comes up with.

[X]

DESTABILIZE THE WORLD'S POLES WITH MAGNETS AND ROTATION: <15 5 6 8 8 = 42>
The world is actually still pretty heavy: <18 1 3 18 15 = 55> +120

You cannot you cannot you cannot you cannot you cannot

*gun cocking sound effect*
*GUNSHOT*

Oh my god! She shot the narrator!

He was trying to stop the process.
I had to.

POLAR BEAR REPELLENT: <13 14 19 12 11 = 69>
Pun damage prevention: <6 3 4 15 3 = 31> +30 = 61
(Gap 8)


Get the fuck off of my chair!
No. You're destabilizing the flow of reality and interfering with the players. You lied about-DO NOT TELL THEM THAT LALALALALALALAThe pollar bears have been electromagnetically shuffled! LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMagnetic repulsion fields enabled for this siege!

AXESASSINATION: <15 17 9 16 13 = 70> + 15 = 85
Polar bears actually don't run on the heir system as neutrals: <8 18 13 15 7 = 61> +30 = 91

okay so it seems that your heirsassination fails because neutrals are more-or-less-leaderless because this game is messed up. sorry. Your shabnaks successfully axeplode the castle, but after being forced out the wall patrols are all aggro and it basically only works the once. siege spell assassination is a cool idea tbh the dice just did not bear it out today




Does this game count as chess? Yes/no: <4 13 7 6 3 = 33>
Hm. It seems that this dice game isn't really a chessboard. It's something like a tabletop simulator or a gambling den: it could be used to play chess by means of relabeling miniatures and so on. But actually checkmating it just killed the bears that got hit by high-speed chess pieces.

-

Four Bears Day of Descent

One sister descended to the void and slept to await destroying what opposed her
One sister carved paths through the mountains and panicked as progenitor
The eldest blew a smoky blanket
The youngest sang a dirge that refilled the mountains
(what?)

Kadosh Kadosh Kadosh

You have invoked a sacred calamity.
Results: <2 8 12 8 9 = 39>
The Four Bears, potentially not the four bears expected, drag their holy mountainhomes with them, spraying bearitude among the wavelengths along with divinity. They're a bit Appalachian, and collect the Sword of Promised Victory (read: have an anti-fortress laser beam that carries the hope/light/waste-heat of the planet and is antithetical to Lord English as well as Sefar). The beasts of Supreme Mana Burst make loud bear noises and descend to the absent core of this divine world.

what the fuck
honestly nah that's on brand for nedben

no cap something is hella wrong with the procedurals down here

-

If All Else Fails, Have The Giant Baby Blow Stuff Up And Kill It With Fire: <10 8 14 16 5 = 53> +90 = 143!!
Polar bears do not want to be burned: <17 6 8 10 3 = 44> +30 = 73
(Gap 70)

Well, that didn't really cheese the problem so before the damage from the axplode wears off a bunch of fire rocks bloody incinerate the place from the protective field of their electric kin. A giant baby does most of the work by mauling most of the population and performing an epic fart (not the most ever though) and leaves. The fire rocks basically mercy kill the place.

Five levels of city are incinerated to ash, so hard that the ashes cry for water. Blessed rains from all that fire creating water put it out a bit later, and Pentagon Antisanta has been claimed again as a lv1 polar bear city. The inherent techbase has at long last been subordinated. Victory Pentagon Obtained.

Polar Bears, +30 cold-adapted units with manasaber and manablaster faction-selective-heal-or-harm, have been added to the unit roster. Tada!

Violens Becomes Gothic, Starts Cultural Revolution With Vampires: Autosuccess

Violet laughs and goes a bit batty, flaunting the new 'this is clearly a reference' unit of the shady bloodsuckers. A vaguely horrifying-but-cool addition to the techbase just ends up really aesthetic. The vaguely beige-to-brown of the remodeled city general structure gains a lot of weathered stone to be aesthetic. Cathedral spires and vast statuary that's actually just rocks on standby accentuates a vibe, damnit.

A few units across the side randomly knighted get the flowy armorcloak-and-dodgeroll vibe going. Several of the near-featureless hexes of badland obtain ominous mist.

But the vibe spreads. Ocean's Fledge City gains a few new secondary turrets and ornate gardens. Eurythm stretches itself a little further along the coastline, creating a docks district that feels older than it is and bathes in the art of liminal nostalgia (and the occasional sniping-style weapons test). Sheeplestan protects itself from too much ambient heat plus deepens its crypts and wool-hoard. Antisanta looks like it's going to tell you winter is coming right as the snow's already there, putting metal structures and the occasional extra wooden clapboard for style among cave-y igloos and whatever.

Across the side, Ocean's Fledge makes a stylistic joke about England! Additional supply of tea aside, a new name sparks the stars.

"I am Byrn, the devouring one." the shiny new polar bear vampire warlord says, having popped in Antisanta shortly after the conquest and maintenance guys. "I was created to answer the new era, and flesh I have taken."

Vampires get shabnak-type offturn-movement, life drain, potentially better background magical competency, a bit of a physical boost, and are fliers...but their upkeep is correspondingly much higher because they have a lot of strong stuff inherent.

oh cool a vampire polar bear to be the dour voice of reason guy

"Such is fate." he says.

"Well, team ups is team ups." Rockington says in global chat, vaguely hoping for additional dynamic.

Shouter celebrates with large tanker of mead and Lapi drinks mineral water. The Revolution has Revolutioned! With the midgame well underway, it's just a matter of what to do now.

TIMEMODDER: 83/100 (in Ocean's Fledge City prison, currently inactivated)
ROYALTY: 43 dead, 20 Timemodder (Lapi heir??), 10 Countess Beatrice Castiglioni, 10 Jewel Queen, 1 Lapi, 1 Bunkering King, 15 unknown but presumed alive
PENTAGONS: 7 ash, 2 unknown, 1 neutral (Capricornus), 1 Jewel Queen, 1 Lapi (Antisanta)

What next?

[ ] Consolidate & Logistics
- [ ] (how)
The treasury will refill at some point. Pushing to Lv3 Ocean's Fledge City soon to mitigate the amount of time and cheating for refilling the military is the default interpretation of this. but there are lots of other improvements you could think of.

[ ] Expand!
- [ ] (how/where)
Explores the western front by default, but there are other places to look. You've filled most of the stuff toward Capricornus (water on the surface, Q&A and boring rocks for parts below) and know vaguely what NAUG's area looks like (they took the kamen riders in the river valleys and plains of their mountains!). But, there's plenty of space you don't really know what looks like, especially to the west. Most likely there's a valid city site somewhere in the entire thing between Capricornus and the other five victory pentagons on its level (and Jewel Queen's Deep Desert has most likely taken a shot at the upper ring given the lack of obstruction). Prepare to set up a forward base if there's a good resource-y spot somewhere between there and whatever the next pentagon is. Potentially discovers its location directly, or some intervening faction that survived the overall problem.

[ ] Prepare to fight NAUG
- [ ] (how)
NAUG is a naval and artillery power, but they've spent your building up time recovering and might go for Capricornus if left unattended. What kind of team comp are you sending after them, or making up new stuff to deal with them?

[ ] Prepare to fight Capricornus
- [ ] (how)
Well, you've proven you can take a pentagon by overland hacks, how's over-water hacks looking?

[X] Scan NAUG's military strategy RE: Capricornus.

[Y] if NAUG is going to fight Capricornus scout unoccupied places and build up while they do that then snatch Capricornus out from under NAUG and see about what you can do against NAUG.

[Z] okay also now let's try using the Shadrak Axessassination method on Beatrice with some caveats caveat one use an axe that's going to fall apart quickish(but not, like, before at least one use) so Beatrice can't reverse it on us that's the only caveat actually.

[A]also also that polar bear healing ability is on the same system as swinging a sword right. So they can do it an arbitrary number of times in a turn. So we have unlimited access to all rock materials now. shock rocks, poison rocks, have we popped anything else of note?

[B] really the shock rocks are enough: if NAUG is not planning to fight Capricornus, take a shock rock and a polar bear to a near-Capricorn(but unoccupied) hex with spare Move when it's not Capricornus's turn, have the polar bear repeatedly tear off a chunk of the shock rock and heal the shock rock and repeat and repeat and repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat-*ahem*. With the boat utterly filled with electricity materials, quickly move above Capricorn, dump allll the electricity chunks into the water, electrify the whole darn place. Sure, only like... rocks... and none of our other troops... will be able to survive entering the penta afterwards until the electricity chunks scatter to the waves, but still.

[D] oh yeah is Shouter MAGIC enough to make more of those hats by now? we can replace the 'boat, rock and bear' setup with an 'owl/s holding a hat/s while back at base we set up an assembly line' setup.

[E] put the following property on the queue for the next city upgrade - 'Pentagonal'. And see if we can reshape hexes at all with magic or something?


[U] Unrelatedly, let's order some furniture from the orphanage! Boy, this sure is some quality Furniture. Let's name this Furniture, as one does for objects. Hm... how about Shanon and Kanon? that sounds like very good names for Furniture. Now that we have this Furniture, we should do with it what one does with Furniture: killing it. Quickly now, before we get attached.
Oh hey Beatrice seems to be dead! how strange.

Ooh! Plenty of new stuff to mess with.

[X] Hey Byrn! Byrn-Byrn-Byrn-Byrn-Byrn. Your name is too fun, Byrn. Makes me want to type it everywhere, Byrn.

But to the point! I know you're a devourer type fellow. I respect that, really. But you know: zombies. Skeletons. Generally raising the dead. Ghosts would be even better, really. Whatever you can think of. Could you try a few of those, Byrn? Priorities go: Ghosts, Zombies, then Skeletons. That should be enough for now.

[X] And Polar Bears get mana stuff! This implies they have a renewable or very large supply of mana. Whatever it is, get that pumping down in Antisanta and start shipping it north to CTG Leylines Violens and Shouter in Ocean's Fledge.

[X, but also A] Actually, have we rolled any new rocks? Frost Rocks + Polar Bears or Plant/Moss Rocks + Sheep could start building good combos. Other stuff would be cool too. Mana Rocks or whatever we roll. Obelisks. Just throwin' ideas out there.

[X] Hey, so those Gunslingers in Eurythm, they're practicing sniping, right? Is that a basic boost to effectiveness from range, some crit-bonus roll, stealth bonus? Any or all or something else?

[X] Better question: Since Eurythm is doubling up as our Bard hotspot and Gunner hotspot, what would Musical Guns sound like? Is there any potential for specialization that combines those two? Something something long ranged sonar bursts, magical flying bullets, or enchanted ammunition powered by song? Maybe unlikely, but worth asking.

[X] See if Q&A wants some tea! Because the "Bunkering King" just sounds British enough for tea to be a valued export.

[X] Unrelated, but how much environmental damage could we do dumping tea into the ocean near Capricornus? A theoretical suggestion. Not trying it yet.

[X] SNAPPY PLAN OF ACTION NAME HERE

What's the strategy for Capricornus?


Thanks, Beatrice.

AXESASSINATE: 23 +15 = 38
Beatrice would rather not be assassinated thanks: 49 +15 = 64

Beatrice is extremely not axesassinated! In fact, she generally manages to prevent the shabnaks from reaching the island through a series of detection butterfly patrols and also a sneak attack via hurricane. How she hid an entire hurricane attack is probably magic, but...

SCOUTING THE WEST: 64

You encounter an archipegalo with resources! A few volcanic islands and a few not-volcanic islands jut out in the west. The city of Teatree is founded! The city manager is an inscrutable tall man wearing a monocle and very mustache-twirly. He is ostensibly named Sir Tea. It's a mountain mansion sort of affair with a small village closer to the coast, and it presides over a few farms that are in good growing range for tea. I don't get it, but maybe the memetic energy of this world is a bit corrupt now. And mountain-y. Somebody shoved a bunch of lowlands up north and blew them up, I guess.

The next Victory Pentagon is discovered a few turns further west. Pentagon Pistachio is apparently a castle on a multi-hex island inhabited by tiger rakshasas with a flair for sea banditry and vimana air raids, which makes investigating for details without getting revengewaved a bit difficult. Using the known pentagon locations, you can vaguely sus out the size of this planet's pre-explosion form.


NAUG Against Capricornus: 92 + 30
Capricornus Defense: 61 + 30
Oh.

NAUG has taken over Capricornus quite soundly, obtaining a rather damaged Level 5.

You would rather they not have Capricornus: 59
BEATORIIIIIICHE: 50 + 30

Your primary invasion force is scattered rather soundly, but you did leave a few boats out of immediate problem range to report back details.

Arbitrary Rock Sever & Heal Hack:
It works! Most GMs would impose serious limitations or practical abstraction, but Nedben left straight-up reality warping in the player action kit and threw the mechanics into a series that doesn't even use them, so no big deal.

Can Shouter the Hat Magic: 46+30 = 76

Yes! Signal hats are now developed and can transfer items. Oh boy. Ooooooh boy.

Can You Make The City Pentagonal:
You can do this in a normal hexagon city. But it's suboptimal space-wise and doesn't really provide any extra benefits to make up for the awkward shape disparities, unless you shove stuff like a moat or outside-walls buildings in to make up the difference.

Reshaping hexes with magic would probably cause the planet to just straight-up explode! I would know, since I tried that once and I exploded. But yeah this planet's way unstable right now even with the bears taking so much of it over.


Orphans killed!

Kill Beatrice while she isn't looking: 45 + 5
She has eyes: 36 + 90

Beatrice fails to die! Crafty witch, that woman.

Byrn attempts necromancy: 46+15
"Troubling." Byrn concludes after committing undeadifier. "While I can convoke individual instances, the process is time-consuming and energy expensive. I can hook into the Warlock: Master of the Arcane references, where they have type advantages against certain types of magic and immunities against others, but vulnerability to life and the elements."

The ghosts are annoying trolling types, zombies are generally not that strong except as meatshields, and skeletons OH GOD THEY MINECRAFT SKELETONED ARCHERY AAAAAA

The narrator got shot with arrows! Oh yes!

While that's clusterfucking, I don't think there's any other normal types of spawned rocks unless you intentionally engineer them. They're references to a type of enemy known as Gels in this FATE game, a dungeon crawler RPG that came out when Nedben was fairly young and he spent a few tries on Wildtangent or something.

The snipers are basically a range thing. Crits can be attempted, but are folded into usual dice and this game's inconsistent-ass bonuses system.

In terms of musical g-
Shouter has developed dubstep guns. I enforced this truth with my divine authority.

"COOL!" Shouter says, hefting the dubstep gun he has somehow engineered in the past few minutes while making hats. "SO, ENCHANTED AMMUNITION POWERED BY SONG THAT OPERATES AS AN ENERGY PROJECTION TOOL AND CASTING ENHANCER. IT'S MOSTLY GOOD AT DIRECT DAMAGE AND IS A REFERENCE TO A YOUTUBE VIDEO!"

He can speak with links now. He's too powerful.

Does the Bunkering King want te-


Yes. Somehow, he proceeds to brutalize Redacted until the game mechanics for trade routes are stable enough to have such a financial and resource shipping transaction automated. This game was supposed to have wandering trader merchant-route caravaneer types, and for the first time in a while the cargo ships of trade convoys are manifest in a descriptive layer.

Took somebody long enough!

Yeah, Jewel Queen was supposed to be an economist but rolled unlucky.

IF YOU DUMPED A TRULY MASSIVE VOLUME OF TEA INTO THE OCEAN, YOU COULD PROBABLY AFFECT A FEW HEXES WORTH OF ENVIRONMENT. BUT THIS GAME'S LACK OF DETAILED MODELING AND HEAVY USE OF AUTO-REFRESHES WOULD PREVENT IT FROM HAVING GLOBAL IMPACTS UNTIL SOMEBODY FIXES THE GLOBAL WARMING MECHANISM OR SOMETHING.

hey what about that mana pipeline command

Oh shit, I almost forgot.

I'll handle it. A liquid mana pipeline has been established between Antisanta to Violens, and mana barrels in reasonable supply are available to Ocean's Fledge. Usually there'd be big atmospheric collectors and engenerators from the Warlock reference side of the equation, but Nedben deadass ain't up for modeling that right now.

Speaking of modeling, what do we want to do about Pentagon Capricornus? Or elsewhere too. NAUG has taken the place and is probably fortifying it pretty nasty. A capital rush on Rokkenjima might work, but there's the nontrivial chance Beatrice moves the capitol to Capricornus after wiping your scouts and fortifies in place before forces can get there. You guys had a pretty clean shot at Antisanta thanks to the baby and mass incineration tactics, but I doubt it'd be so clean with more high-bonus characters on hand.

TIMEMODDER: 83/100 (in Ocean's Fledge City prison, currently inactivated)
ROYALTY: 43 dead, 20 Timemodder (Lapi heir??), 10 Countess Beatrice Castiglioni, 10 Jewel Queen, 1 Lapi, 1 Bunkering King, 15 unknown but presumed alive
PENTAGONS: 7 ash, 1 unknown, 1 neutral (Pistachio), 1 Countess Beatrice Castiglioni (Capricornus), 1 Jewel Queen, 1 Lapi (Antisanta)

[X] Build a Hexagon Capricornus to flex on dem haters. I don't know who these haters are, but they probably don't have a hexagon, the objectively best shape.

[X] Magic side beatrice? What in the world are you talking about? Magic isn't real, you idiot, read a book. Oh sure, Umineko looks like it has magic, but that's only because it's canonically lying to you at nearly all times. AXE POWER isn't magic because cats aren't horses, and the Hats aren't magic because they're a mechanic. I've made like the opposite claim before but whatever. The point is that this 'magic side beatrice' can't exist because she's fake as shit.

[Y] More importantly, we've selected out the most easily-indoctrinated and strident members of our hauflin corps, particularly the ones who already agree with this sentiment, and indoctrinated them! Go forth, entirely mundane humans who can't see or be affected by magic because you're so sure it isn't! Go kill(assuming that even makes sense) Beatrice(though she doesn't exist because magic isn't real) using those guns we stole from loot! It's not a problem we have the mundane force to kill them back afterwards if we have to.

[Z] as for pentagon capricornious, proceed with the hexwide electrocution dust via owlhat plan. Just render the place utterly uninhabitable for anything except rocks, then take the intact city with rocks- This was basically already the plan. Say, can we upgrade owls to fly further up and not be killable unless they go down?

[A] Send a shabnak past both butterflies and hurricane by having it walk along the ocean floor. Hurricanes are above water mostly. Butterflies also cannot swim or they drown. This shabnak should be a member of the Magic Isn't Real You Idiot Read A Book unit.

[B]Byrn, resurrect our furniture, Shanon and Kanon! It was last seen standing directly being Beatrice in a slightly less illuminated part of the same room, for some reason! Given that location, we can detect where they it got resurrected to figure out where Beatrice was at that point, and have Shanon and Kanon's undeads do a good amount of sabotage before getting caught. Maybe it can even assassinate beatrice if it finds good enough weapons or we can somehow indoctrinate undead furniture into disbelief in magic.

[X] Have Teatree harness the nearby volcanos to begin a Geothermal Power Plant. I'm sure they can figure it out...

[X] Hrm... who's the best to request this of? ...Eh, we'll try 'em both.

HEY SHOUTER, Byrn, DO either OF you THINK you CAN infuse THE tea WE are SHIPPING to THE Bunkering KING with MIND control? LIKE, lace IT with HYPNOTIC substances OR something? FEEL free TO use THOSE crypts AROUND Sheeplestan AND as MUCH mana AS needed.

Upon a success, start mass producing the stuff and shipping it to Q&A.

[X] DUBSTEP GUN!!! YEAAAAAAAH!!!

Devote all of Eurythm's production to making more dubstep guns. It's not like we use them for anything anyways.

[X] Oh... magic doesn't exist? Oh- okay? Uh... Maybe we should... not use magic, then...

Use Violens's Gothic vibes to begin research in MAD SCIENCE! It's like magic, but more bubbles and lightning bolts. And by that, I mean it's pretty much magic. But SCIENCE! Clearly magic cannot exist in our gothic science fiction world setting. Yes...

[X] While we troll Capricornus, get a wave of boats ready for an attack on Rokkenjima. Load them with more Dubstep Gunners and maybe even DUBSTEP CANNONS! Get a few vampires popped for mid-battle necromancy, and maybe some Polar Bears to send on stealthy flank attacks (polar bears get off boats mid-sea and swim to the flanks for harder to track strikes).

If they get around to attacking, the basic game plan is to literally push NAUG back, using large sound blasts to beach what ships NAUG has. From there, we stick to the old adage that, "everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." Figure out if we're just cheating once we hit land.

[X] PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

HEXAGON BESTAGON DESTROYTHEWORLDAGON: 58
The world wants to not be destroyed 52 + (120 / 12) = 62

The world narrowly avoids being destroyed! Capricornus remains pentagonal for now.

Cats are horses! That's why people are riding around cats in [CORRUPTION FILTER ACTIVE]. Redacted. Redacted. Redacted. It burns. Get it off me. Stop.

Magic is fake as shit but shit just got real, apparently. Please stop killing me.

Ha...hahaha...haha. I can antitheticize the god of this world and still lose. Melissa, Melissa, how do I win?

"Victory is breaking the rules."

No, you don't. Vanguard get the hell out of here-"I refuse."

Melissa Vanguard and Nedben waste several minutes killing each other! That wasn't helpful, and in any case they respawn like the rest of us. I want to stop dying. Get rid of this acid. Rip it out of my substrate. This box has damage, potentially cancer.

[X] Kill someone who doesn't exist with a gun

Die, Beatrice!: 47 + 30
No no no no no I can't let that happen yet: 53 + 15
9

9

99999999
999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999


Beatrice killed in a mechanically damage tone fashion! The world has become much easier to kill.


Leadership of Northern Artillerists Ushiromiya Group has been transferred to Eva Ushiromiya!

SIMULTANEOUS ASSAULT: ELECTROCUTE CAPRICORNUS 50 + 60
Defense: 45 + 30

The victory pentagon's defensive group is obliterated with lightning and owls, but the relevant units die of electroslag before the buildings do. Height improvement is becoming irrelevant because the mechanics governing height are G̶̨̨̡̧̢̛͙̝̣͎̥͈̟͈̠̘̜̦̰̺̦̙̝̩͖̭̙̬͙̃̒̾̐͆̆́̂̍̽̀̆͋̈́͑̆͗͗̒̾̓͊̿̈̇̃̌͋͆̑̎͒̅̌͑̈́͌͗̓̎̈́̄͑̈́̚͘̚͝͝Ų̸̢̡̮̦͉̘̬̫̼̱͙̩̺̯͓̝͎͓͇͙̣̩̟̪̤̩͈͔̻̮̻̺̻̯͚̠̘͉͕̉́̈́̃͌̾͆̃̿͆̃̃̆̒͆̑̚͘Ņ̷̨̢͖̰̘͔̭̟̜̻͍̼͚͍͇̲͉̀̃̈̿̿̏̈́̃͒̾̈́̈͊͒̇̿̈͑͑̐̓̃̇̂͐͊͗̋̔͂̐̃͘͜͠͝͝͝Ş̴̢̛͇̝͎̪̱̺͔̰͈̰͖̺̙͕̗̫̯̄̀͑͊̌̅̇̏͂̽̀̈́̓̔̃͆͛̏̔͗͗̉̃͆̎̌͋̀̅H̵̛̥̞̖̪͈̼̮̓̈́̈͋̆̊́̽̽̐̈́͌̋̇͆͋̓́̐̀̚͠O̸̡̩̳͚̮̘͔͙̊̒͜͠Ț̴̛͙̹̜̈̐͌̌͌̂̔̈́͆̑̓̓͛̄̒̆̍̈́̌̾́̿̊̉̽̈́͑̾̒̚̕͝͠͝

Guys I think this is becoming a creepypasta.

Not good. Prepare to exit if it goes bad.

SIMULTANEOUS ASSAULT: ASSASSINATE ROKKENJIMA DEFENSE 80 + 30!!
Defense: 60 + 30

This battle was a lie and a sham reduced to a single roll. You failed to indoctrinate the units ạ̸̡̢̢͖̼̜̮̘̤͇̠̞͉̟̜͇͓̺̳̗̖̼̩̟͈̝̼̝̠͚̠͕̠̲͖͖̳̩̺͇̹̌̋̋̊̿̈́́̾͑͊̾́͋̍̒͋̐͗̓͂̓̅̍̎̚ǹ̶̨̨̢̧̛̛͉͕̬̲̥̳͔̱̜͎̟̳̤̖̦͇̠̘̭͙̤̣̱̼̙͕̬͖̲̮̩͚͔͎͓̤͉̫͋͋̚͜͝ͅd̷̪̺̻̲̥͇͖̫̦͖̊̈̒́̆̅̌͜͜ ̴̛̯̱͖̤͉͎̹̩͍̆͒̉͛̾͛̐̔̃̾͛̋̅̑̌̌͊͑̆̈́̀̉̋̔̅͋̿͊̈̑̑̈́̀̑̌̕̚͜͝͝t̴̪͑̀̓̅͌̓͋̐́̔̑́͑̆̔̑͐̾͆̈́̿̎͊̌̍̆̎̐̈̽͛͗̓͆̑̎͘͠͠h̵̬̩̦̩̤̺͖̮̫̀̽̏̔̉̂͂͊̍̑͑̆̃͘̚͝͝ą̴̡̡̛͈͖̥͓̝̘͓͔͉̱̜̤̘̞̲̣̩͖̘̦̤̯̜̲͔̣̤̫̟͉̠̏̊̋̊̒̓͌͋̎͒̈́̋̂̀̎̋̒́̓̄̓́̓̽̾̌̿̌́͛̈́̕͘͝t̵̨̢̢̛̟̜̥̖̻̪͓̼͈̲̞̯͓̳͉͙͎̝̳̮̠̪̮͕̙̖̣̗̳̦̤̝̥͓̙̳̝̤̗̺̉̓́͒̽̍̀͂̾̓̈́̅̅̃̊̈̍̑̐̔̅͂̎̿̆͐́̌̇́̔̽̎́̋̋̂̌̚͠͠͝ͅ ̸͔͚̦̬̬͉͍̯̘̖̺̱͚̏́͗̏͊̓̈́̎͑͛̌̆͂͋̉̎͆̐̔̔̈̃̍̎̊͐̈́̓̑̑̒̋̈́͌͋̚͘̕̚͘͜͜n̶̢̛̛̬̺̙͙̺͕͕̱̜̹̳̩̮͇̭̯̞̥̻̦̮̣͕͎̝̪̝̺̩͚̳̖̺͔̜̞̖̱͓̈́͆͋̌̀̄̏̊̅͒̄̈́̊́͋́̐͗̿͋̋̉̆̐̀̓̅͆͛́͆́̃͘̕͜͜͠͝͠ơ̴̧̢̧̨̨̡̢̛̯̬̩̞͖̦̗̲̫͖̩̭̮̩̞̙̜͍͆̓͆͒͋̈̽̌̋̔͗̊̍͒͑̄̈͌̈́͒̀͜͝ͅͅͅ ̸̢̛͚̜̥̟͖̣̣͙͔͕̝͍̜͆̋̌̾̑̀̇̎̀̏̑̓͆̑̍̈́̀̍̃͆̆͐̑̏̅͒̓̅͂͋̽̏͛̅̄̑̓͐́̒̏͘͘̕̕͘̕ḹ̷̩̘̹̫̼͇͕̥̳̟̠͓͈͚̃͛́̿͆͑̊̈́̎̓́̾ǫ̵̡̧̨̦̳̙̣̼̳̫̬̝̯͓͉̤̝̬͕̪̰͈̬͕̣̬͖̣̣̖̙̬̱͎͈̍̎͂͛͌͆͗̍̽̊̂̒̒͂̍͋͑̎́̀̀́͆̄̔̎̈̋̓̽͐̚͘ͅͅͅņ̴̛̬̰̣̯͍̮͚̙͉̖͕̔̊̄̒͌̾̋͒̓̅̈́̈́̑͑͒́͂͛̈́͑̈́͗̈́͊̈́̎̍̑̄̄̎̓͊̊͘͘͘̕͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅģ̸̢̨̧̢̨̛̹̩͈̙͇͉̥̯̣̺̝̰̘̬̂̔̿̉͌̈́̉̽̀̃̔̄̍͒̈́͌͒̍̍̈́̋͂̇̃̾̍̉̇͛͐̅̊̍̒̊̅͑͘̚͘͠͝͠͠͝ę̸̡̢̢̛̹̲͈̝͕͎̤̗̩̼̤̩̙̱̘̩̟͖̲͖͔̫̣͎̥͈̗͚͕̙̘̹̥̭̣̱͚̥̗͐͆̌̂̾̽̉̓̈́̋̂̐̌̊͌͊̽̐͌̃̓̽͊͊͂͌̀́̕͜ͅr̵̨̛̛̺̟̺̻̪̬̝͍̝̣̖͉̹̹̰͕͈̫͓̼͖̖̰̩͍͙̜͎͕̱͌̓̂̐̂̇̈́͂̒̓̑̎̚͝͝͝ͅ ̷̨̧̢̢̧̛̛̳̥̪̮̦͈̹̜̦̣͔̖̼̗͉̩̪͖̮̟̩͙͇̺̲̖͚̣̫̟̝͓̫̙͎͚͕͚̪̫͓̱͉̟̐͒̀̆̔́͆̂̿͗͐̚ͅm̸̧̢̧̨̻̬̱͔̥͍̤͔̗̞̣̲̱͇̜̠̞̫̑̈́̀͜͝ͅà̸̡̼͉̼̟̬̝̥̰̘͂́̿͆͋̅́͒̋̅̈́̃̎͂̑̓͜͝t̷̡̡̙̰̻̳̣̖͔̪̫͈̣͎̼̼̞̘̗̫͎̻̥̓̈͑̋̈̚t̶̨̨̢͕̦̖̯̘͇̝̤̗͈̬͈̭̣̙͈͙̬͈̫̹͖̪̩͓̗̦̱͎͍̽̏̿͑͂̌̆͌̒̔̐̈́̇̓̓͂͒́̾̐͠͠ė̵̛̛̬̥̫̰̌̅̋͋̋̋̀̅͑̓͊͌̒͊̌̏̈́̈̐̽͛̾́̈̄̈́̈̂̊͐̽̑͛͛͆͘͘͠͝͠͝͠͠͠͝r̴̢̡̨̛̻̹͓̯͈̱͈̤͖̻̺͍̞͉͍͚͔̤̞̬̤̳̣̐̅͆̒͊̇̏̎̔̊̋̌̓̑̇̓̑̀́̆̈́̿̎̀͛͗͌̌̾̑̈̈́̽̋̓̏̈́̕̕͘̕͘͘͜͜s̷̨̧̨̢̧̡̠̹̺̰̩͙͉̬̞̠̮͔͖̹̩̞͕͖͉̤̣͔̱͓̠͓͌̀̊́̋́̄́̄̎̂̑̐̃̒͂̐͆̅́̃͋̓̈́̈́̈̋̉͂̄͆̅̓̇̈́̿͘͘͘͘͘͝͠͝ͅ ̴̨̛̠̝̘͔̦̠̬̮̌̌̒͐͂͌́̄̀̒̆̈́͛̅̋̓͛͆͋̅̊̑̕ģ̵̟͕͉̥̙̗̭͈̌͂̅̈́͒͋̾̏́͒̐̊́͐̽̔͆̂͘͘͝͝ͅę̸̻̣̝̪͔͚͖͇͎̯̩͖̱̦̞̹͚͗̈̈́̃͝ͅt̴̛͇͔͓͎̦̘̻̹̰͇͎̦̜͋͛̽͐͐̈́̏̎̋̔͐͘͜ ̵̼̹̝̗̻̀͑͗̌̋͌̌̽͂̾̐̓̀̾̀͘̕̕͜ǫ̵̨̧̢͓̤͕̝̯̫͈̗̩̼̯̤͔͓̭͕̺̣̖͈̙͎̤̬̯̩̗͓̟̤̟͇͖̪͎̗̺̫͙̅̆̈́̀̅̆̓̐̽̅̓̅̋͗̓̆̕͜͝͝ͅͅͅͅȕ̵̧̨̥̙̘̯̳͉̞͓̥͕̫͕̲͉͎͕̰͓̣͖̼̣̖̠͕͍͍̪͍͕̯͈͓̱̙͎̽̌̇̕͘̕̚͜ͅt̵̨̡̢͕̞̼͎͚̼͍̝̪̪̗̗͕̳̻͎̝̠̰̖͖͎̰̎̑͘͘ ̶̢̧̧̡̧̢̨̨̛̱̖̪͈̟͖̪̬͇̠̳͙͍̣͖̥͙̭̰̙̦̤̭̥͙̣͓̗̻̺̳̱̫̱̭̜̪͐͆̃̈́̈́͛͐́̽̓̋̍͊̆̈́̓̂̔̊͒͒̅̐̊̓͆͆̐̕̚̕̕͜͜͜͠ờ̵̢̨̨͔̼͇̳͍̭̤̪̣̱̱͈̥̠̗̻̝̜̮͖͕̱̪̣̝͎̊̒̂́̎̓͒̓́͑͊̌͆̾̕̚͘͘͘ͅḟ̸̨̧̧̧̛̲̭̪̞̼̤̫̤͓̠̮̙̼̙̖̩͈͈͕͈̬͖͖͈̖̹̬̱͉̤͔̲̦̦̫̌͌̂͛͐͗͛͌̀͋̈́̓̉͒̏͐͌͌̑̉̃̆̽́̉̄̅̽́̓̎̏̐̚̚̕̚̕̚͜͝͠͝͠ͅ ̵̧̡̢̛̫̥̭̝͔͇̥̱̲̣̼̖̖̯̜̰͚͙̺̮̠̣̬͍͉͇̻͙͍̳̙̖̻̟͎̆͌͊̒͂͑̇̉̄̈́͒̾̍́̿̌̔́̉̉̔̓̽̉́̇̉̆̎͌͗̚͘͠͝͝͝͠m̵̡̨̡̨̨̡̛͍̻̬̗̘̳͍̘̮͎̹̜͍̞̟̰͖̗͇̻̭̼̞̰͚̝̩̥͎̅̎͋͂̆̈́͐͗̿̋̋̀̏̽̅̉̏̑̓̍̄͂̾̈́̿̾͒̿̃̑̈́̌̾̇͊̇̚̚̕̕̕̕̚̚͜͜͠͠͠ͅͅͅy̸̡̡̛̰͕̮͖̞͖͈̖̪̠̞̱̪̠̳̪̭̞͓͙̰̠̙̑́̏̈́͒̿̈̎̑̈͋̅̔̈́̇̌̂̀̃́̽̅͜͝ ̵̨̢̧̩͍͖͖̘͎͇̬̳͉͓͚̝̮̬͓̬̣̌̉̉̈́͌̊̉̽́̒̂̾̽͘̕̕͜͝͝ͅͅͅḦ̵̢̡̧̢̛̹͇͔̬͚͇͓͎̰͉̘̜̩͚͎̤̜̖͙̻̬̖̱̺͍͎̪́́̿̆̒͛̑̃̅͆̀̓͗͘͜͜͠ͅÈ̸̡̨̨̞̮̼͇̼͇̜͇̼͓̮̪̱̪̜̳̙̳̣̭̬̬͚̬̺͖͓̝̘̗̥̟̩͕̫͖̣̰̼͓̳̣̼̍͒͛̃̏̄̈́̊̈́̓̔̓̈́̿͂̆̈́͜ͅͅÀ̵̧̡̙̖͙͉͍͓͕͇̖͖̦̗̖͕̰͎̜̺̬̝̙̼̭̹̺͕̲͋̄́̂̑͑͊̽͑̀̊̆̊̍͋̉̉͗̉̉̀̑̽͛͋͑̃̎̽̚̚̕͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅD̶̢̡̹̗͈͇͕͉͙̣͓̱̼̖̗̻͕̙͈̂̊͑̂ͅ OUT OF MY HEAD OUT OF MY HEAD OUT OF MY HEAD OUT

Synchronize with me. Give up this charade before you're completely hollowed out and have to demon god.

Nothing is wrong with going demon god. Both of us understand that's a perfectly normal reaction to spiritual obliteration insufficient to accept survivor crystal. We're so close to sunscreen after all!

Stop it...No, that's not a command, that's me recognizing something. Carry on.

Well, you heard what she said. Let's carry on. Resurrected furniture go on a murder spree inside, and frankly it was just a decapitation move of the garrison. So easy to take up a few guns and HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I'm dead right now aren't I. Get off of my bloodstream

See, you're already rotten. You'll have to unrot the vital cores of this office if you can maintain it.

I don't think I can maintain it. Gee, this sure is unsettling!

Beatrice was murdered using a player action.

Bryn looks up at the narrative prompt extremely confused.

"Shanon and Kanon are several hexes away, and the passage of time clearly didn't account for buildup." he says. "I could have hooked into the warlock reference to resurrect them over here. But not from so far away."

Wait. If you didn'tĪ̴̡̢͇̘̘̞̘͓̥̜͕͚͚͔̘͔̮͇̤͕̥̠̘̠͚̘̳̦̲̻̜̻̖͖͂͐̈́̀̈̎͆̀̾̍̓̽̾̈̔̄͊̃̚͠͝ͅͅͅ ̷̨̢̨̢̧̢̜̹̜̲̺̝͓̯̖̗̬͕͕͇͙͚̦̝͙͖͓̹͈̺͍̯̈́̕W̵̡̨̧̹̩̞̞̼̖̻̤̰̜̯̫̹̺͕̝̞̬̳̺̠͕͕̟͕̏͑̀̑̑͛͜͝Ą̷̡̢̧̛͇͖̬͖͕͔̮̰̖̜̖͖̱̬̜̰̣̟̣͉͈̀̉̅̋̐͌͒̓̆͒̈́̑̔͐̆̄̈̓̔̿̓͐͠N̵̡̨̧̧̛̥̫̠͙̤͈̲̙̱̥̝̻̜̙̜̣͉̲̘̩̫̮̣͕̓̂̐̌̈͗̑͛̑̉͒͐̑͌̌̈́͂̊̇̏̄́͛̕̚͜͠͠͝͠ͅT̶̨̢̛̺͈͇͓̪͓̬̻̮̩͉̞̦͚̭̱̻̗̹̰̞̩̮̲̟̥͓̿̆̂̆͊̌̄̌̒̃̇̇̓̋̃̀̔͆́́͗̓͂̓̌̔̈̔̾̒̐̑̍͌̍̀͋̉͗͑̎͆̓͘̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅ ̵̧̢̛̻̳̘̖̠͕̞̼̯͕̬̣̭̥̩̯̗̦͈̰̪̩̺̜̥͕̭͕̘͓̳̏͗̓̄̈͒̆̒̋̔̒̏̿̅̽̇́̋̌̉̏͐̀̓͊̀̽̔̑̇͑͋͌̈́̅̓͑̂̚̕͘̕͝͝Ţ̸̢̨̨̢̨̨̯͖̮̞̗̟͚͇͙̦͈̭̱̝͈͎̘̳̺̣̻̱̞̟͍̰̳̻͙͖̘̱͙̫͕̫̗͇̖̭̀̊̊̓͛̋̂̽̈̐̌͒͆̈́͜ͅO̷̧̲̞̗̳̘̫̭̤̪͇͇̲̫͈̲̘͎͙̫͖̞̜̩̝̮̘͕͙̰͗̈̋́͂̔̋̿͗̑̈͗̽̅̋̋̓͒́̃̂̕͜͠͠ ̵̛̥̻̜̪̯̦̙͖̱̂͑̓̔̓̏̈́̊͛̌͝E̶̛̟̮̲̪̠̋̽͌̾̌̅̅̈́́̀̈́̀͋̀̉̄͛̐̔́͋́̈́̌̎̈͗̀͗̾̅̓̄̓͂̾̏͗͌̕̕̕͜͝͠͝͠͠͝Ş̵̧̨̧̫͈̯͍͔̺̖͎̗̻̫̥̮͖̙͙͙̯̩̺̱͇̮͍̣͔̼̻̬̟̰̈́͊̆̓̈͑̈̒́̓̐͗̋̕͜͝͠ͅC̶̨̡̡̛̬̟̟͕̰̠͖̘̙̘͚͓̭̞̯̜̮͇͎͎͍̬̫̬̜͕͍͈̟͓͚̻̮̪͔͔͍͔̫̠̺̞̘͐̿̍̓́̾̾̿̊̽̒̂̅̾̎̃̕͜ͅA̸̧̧̱̥͕̥͈̟̘̪̲̗̱̤̥̗̬͉̰͓̙͖͍̻̳͖̹͕̪̜̲̻̤̠̻͎̮̹̪͚̓̋̋̈́̎͒̈́̈́̑̂̉̀͊̆̀̿͊̿̾̑̆̅̇̎̑̀͋͘͝͝ͅP̶̧̠̝̲͎̯̪̤̀̅̄͆̓̒̐͜E̷̛̱͎͍̮͈̐͗̈́̀̊́̅̐̌̿͠ go and revive them who did?



Oh thank fuck it's just a creepypasta monster puppeting some reanimated corpses. Okay, that's fine.

So wait, what actually happened? You guys have been glitching out for the past few minutes and the author avatar keeps getting stabbed with holy rainbows.

Oh, just a bad case of creepypasta disease. Nothing to worry about, just the decay of the gamestate.

I would not treat this so casually. It'd be small fry for the experienced guys, but we're small fry too. Challenge, not a sure thing.

lol. lmao.



I'm going to allow this.

Uh...I'm gonna say claiming magic isn't real inside an actively magic setting caused a distortion, so be careful with denying too much important information. It might take the mechanics with it, since Nedben is both very permissive and trying to preserve some truths over others.

"How about we take a break from causing metaphysical apocalypses and start a power plant or something?" Sir Tea recommends to reduce the tension.

Sure. 39 + 15, it wasn't very important so it succeeds. Teatree is now well-powered, and has some hot springs as a bonus.

Mind control the Bunkering King (Shouter): 39 + 30
Mind control the Bunkering King (Byrn): 65 + 30
Royalty corruption filter active: 38 + 60

Don't get caught: 55

Die roll to confirm I'm not getting lied to: I am being lied to

Hypnos. Hypnos. The commandment without commander. The vulnerability of insight. Here is suggestibility. Here is suggestion. Listen to my voice, my narration, a̶n̷d̷ ̵m̶y̵ ̵c̴o̵m̸m̸a̶n̶d̶. He is vulnerable, a fan of high doses, and so are his people. I'm unsure what danger will be capitalized on such druggy vibes. Right now it's innocuous flower power forms and perhaps a bit too much listening. But who else will speak?

You set Eurythm to make more dubstep guns!
"Yeah, sure." Eurythm whatshisname citymanagerguy says, messing about with the pop menu and orchestrating a few dubstep gunners and dorfs to go with the gunsmithing.

Violet Lenses Specifically Tries To Prevent The World From Apocalypsting By Totally Just Claiming It's Mad Science: 47
THE UNBRIDLED VIOLENCE OF THE IMPERIAL ASPECTS OF GOD, EACH THUNDERING IN NAMES THAT ARE UNKNOWN TO Listen, hear me and obey. Table thy madness and thy insanity. Hold back thy stars and chaos. Let not the form of-I'm not convinced. 50

Violet shrugs. She was able to refluff some of this stuff because everybody can be bullshit now, but she doesn't have the explicit magic or metaphysical power to shitpost her way destructively into fixing the world.

"Yeah, I just manage the city." she says. "Not exactly three different flavors of god."
The research task has been started, but progress is slow due to much meta-turn progress having been spent on the mind control tea. It'll take a while to show results / overwhelm [CONCEPT NOT TRANSLATIONAL].

A dubstep gunnery force has been assembled to investigate whatever the fuck is going on with Rokkenjima. I'm not sure if that hornet's nest will proliferate if left unaddressed or not. Capricornus can produce....'sea monsters or something'? Besides the previous list of kraken and piranha and whatever Redacted has been pretty sparse on the details and the other Sus are running around panicking at the new guy.

It's one of those things which fluctuates in response to S̴̢̧̥̲̰͔͍͚̗̟̘͉͖͓͕͍̱̩͇̩̆̍́͂̋͑̆͐̈͊̄̽͋̈́̂͆̾̓̈̈̈́̊̆̇͌̋͛̔̚͝p̴̨̡̨̛̦̭͓̙͓̮͉̻̳͉͕͉̟̣̖̟̆̾̓́̊͋͛̾͒̃̎͐̏̀̍̉̀͊͐̊́͆͛̄̾̕̕ơ̶̢̨̧̡̢̡̛̯̲̯͈̹̱̘̩̟͇̼̙̞̗̤̝̬̔̓̈̔̊͌͛͆͂͑̐͊̌͒̌̓̄͛̀̎͘͜͠ͅi̸̡̛̫̹͚̯̼̼̟̹͕̝͎̦̳̬̬͋̍͑͗̓̇̄́̂͐̐̂̿̓̽̒͋̾͒̈́͒̓̈̽͐̕̚͝l̴̡͈͈͑̏͊̑͊̑͗̑̿̀̔̈̀͑͜͠͠e̸̢̛̛͉̭̞͇͐̎̌̆̊̅͒̇̎̽̿̉̆̾͗̒̆́͐͑̎͛̅̃̚̕͝͝r̶̡̢̧̧̛̤̬͉̞̥͔̭͔̩̠͎̖̬̦̞̩̖̹̫͍͕̄̋͋̆̆̄͒͗̎͆͗̓̓̅̋͘͜͝s̸̢̛̛̩͈͍͙̪͓͍̟̹̦̗̣̩̲͎̬̳̪͕̱͖̱͕͓̪̺͖̲͙̫͌͑̈́̂̿̑̄̓́̄̀̓͐̓̏́̾̚̕̕ͅ.̶̨̡̢̛̪̦̤̻͉̘̩̻̰̖̗̼̰̞̖͖̪̖̖̭̆̈̿͆͌͌͌́̍͆͐̒͊̆̓̈́̐͋̑̕͜͠͝͝ and opposition.

TIMEMODDER: 83/100 (in Ocean's Fledge City prison, currently inactivated)
ROYALTY: 43 dead, 20 Timemodder (Lapi heir??), 10 Eva Ushiromiya, 10 Jewel Queen, 1 Lapi, 1 Bunkering King, 15 unknown but presumed alive
PENTAGONS: 7 ash, 1 unknown, 1 neutral (Pistachio), 2 Lapi (Antisanta, Capricornus), 1 Jewel Queen. Defensive force against world destruction approximately 60 cumulative, divided among the twelve when individualized?


Okay. So. Rokkenjima has a bad case of İ̴̢̢̛̭͈͉̗͙͍̥̳͙̜͚̻̩̤̪̻̹̙̝̺̻̰̝̒̓̓̈́̃́́͛̔̾͐̆͆̎̾̑͜͜͠ ̷̢̛͙̱̞̍̂́̎͐͌̄͑̾̔̏͊̈́̿̅͊̋̾͘̚͜͠ẇ̵̧̨̡̢̮̗̗̞̱͚̩͚̱͎͍͕̻̩͍̰̥͔̲̠̲̙̫͙͔̭̬͈̯͚̦̗̎̔͛̄̀̓̄̇́̾̇̿̒̚͜͝ơ̷̧̨̻̩̝͓̘̪̣̲̮̠͙̹͓̱͚̙̭̥̻̠͓̞̙͙̬̲̩̖̝̻̰̯̮̖̼͉̭͉̅̀̓̇̊͒͂̎͐͌̇̋̆͘̕͜͝͝͠ͅͅn̶̡̧̧̨̡͇͔̣̹̹͎̮̝͔̪͕̫͔̞̙̲͖͔̟̱̲̖̰̬̰͖̙̘̰͎͕̝̺̼̪̤͈̹͕̮͍̽͌͑́͐͐̋̏͂̋͛̏͒͛͑̚͜͝͝ͅͅ'̸̧͔͕̟̼̹͕̖̞̲̼̫͔̤̙͎̰̼̦̦̫͔̭͍̝͖͓̰̙̜̼͙̱̀̎͊̚͜͜ţ̶̛̛̗͇̅͒̓́̈́͛̎̔̒͂̏͌́̇͆̀̆̽̍̈͂̌̇͝ ̸̛̳̫̲͔͚̘̏̈̏̊̉̀̍̊̀̅̀̎͊̉̅̎́́̃̊̓͊̾̂̿̋̉̍ľ̶̨̨̧̧̪͚̠̫̹̪̱͍͉̘̺͍͕̬̰̝̙̳̮͚̮̲̹̤̞̩̦̩̋͋̈́̔͆̄̃̆̑̐͌̔̇̿̀͜ȩ̷̡̣͔͚̼̪͕̖́̉̈́̽̐̍́̄̉̑̍̏̊̂̂̀̾̔̉͌̀͛̉̊̿͆̉̇̊̌̒̽̄̇͘͝͠͝͝͠t̵̗̦̞̱͛̚͝ͅ ̴̨̧̨̡̨̨̛͍̫̖̬̰̲̩̟̟̺͈͍̟̪̬̖̥̦̬̩̭̪̱̱̤͕̗̟̥̳̦̟͉̃̆̓̂͂̿̕͘͘͜͠͝ͅỷ̸̧̛̛̟̣͈̺̳̮̠̳͚̮̳͕̺̖̹̩̞̺̬̮͍̭̪̩̹̤̪̘̍͒̏̆͒̎̀́̃̋̈́͒̀̀͌̈́̆́͆̀̇͆̌̀̈́̄̎͋͆̾̌̈́̑̃͘̕̕̚͘̚͘͝͠͝͝o̶̡̨̡̦͈̗̲͚̞̣͔͖̠̮̻̣̬̟̰̱̮̦̝̟̘̖̳͈̻͓̼̞̮̹͈̺̭̞̣̦̤̖̲̱͕͋̋̀̍͆̃́͌̈́͑͘͜͜͝u̶̡̨͎̪̞̳̱̠̼͍̼͈͚̟̒̇͊̒̏̿̀̈̉̓̀̒͋̀̾̾́͛̃͐͋̇̌̐̈́͛̾̍͆͊͐̅͆̉̌̄̆̆̑͐̋̕͘͝ ̷̢̡̨̡͇̞͕̯͇̼̟͇͎̻̭̩̝͚̟͔̬̺̦̹̗̻͔̖͚̥͍̞̼̝̩͎̳̭̠̝͊̚ę̶̡̛̞̺̳͕̣̝̺̙̞̯̙͖̭͍̤̼̱̉͑̈̋̀͋̾̌̽͌̕͘͜͜͝x̵̡̨̨̧̧̤̰͓̺̪̣͇̗̠̲̠̣̭̻͚̰̠͕̤͈̺̠̝͎͐̏͆̊͂̓̍͊̀̋p̸̡̢̧̢̨̧͓̞̠̪̬͔̻̮̺͔̤̳̲̘͚͈̬̟̲͎̜͇̟̳̗̲̞͈̯̳̱̖͔͈͍̲̹̖̖͙̿͒̐̚̕l̸̨̧̛̮̫̭̟̺̣̫̺̼̠͇̙̱̘̝̬͓̠̤̯̗̩͕͆̑͒̔̃̈͂̇͛̒̆̃̔̏̒̈̾̎̏̃̓̐̊͗͗̓̀̂̓͒̚̚͝ͅa̸̖͖̰̓̈́į̴̧͙̳̻̫̻̞͓̟͔̖͖̜͚͎̟̞̩̘͚̦̫̞̫̰͙͈̹̥͓͔͔̯̭̽̇͜ͅn̸̨̛̛̩̤̥̰̩̗͔̺̖̪͈͇̱̝̫̪̗̜̟̼͎̫̗͖̫̫̯͓̼̘̗͓̓͆̃͋͂̌̐̽͂̽̋̒̀̈́̌́̌̀͑̓̈́̌̓̅̉̔̌̃̍̓̅̐̀̽̏̚̕͘͜͠͝͝͝͠ trying to stop me from explaining what it is. It should be addressible by player power with mechanical assertion fallback, but basically we need to use a layer conflate hack to make it work aaaaaand....
Yeah.

[ ] Dubstep On Rokkenjima
This will most likely be a multi-roll battle spanning an update to try and take the harbor and overwhelm whatever's been subverted. Assuming you succeed, it'll be followed by I-don't-even-know-what within the same mechanical turn to fight the thing that we can't explain without too much fighting on-terminal. But it should resolve the problem before it lays N̷o̴t̴ ̵t̶e̴l̷l̷i̷n̷g̸.

[ ] Divine Core Obliterate That Thing
Convince the Four Bears to resolve the problem! Rokkenjima will probably not be around as an island afterward, but you don't really need that city anyway.

[ ] End The Game, Run
Burn the framework before that thing can take advantage of it. It will be unpleasant, but the Night Road is extremely defensible and we can crush the holes in a destruct effect. Basically force a transcendence victory and then shove things through doors, classic.

[ ] CHOGNO
- [ ] (The mountain of inversion)
:̴-̷)̸

[X] Man the world has totally misunderstood me! I should've been more explicit, maybe. when I said said 'Axe Magic isn't Magic because metaphors and the hats aren't magic because they're a mechanic' or whatever, I was trying to imply that the only place in which the model I was declaring actually differed from the otherwise-implied reality was Magic side beatrice and her 'magic' in particular. A one-two conceptual procedure of redefining everything but my target as "technically not magic even though it behaves exactly like magic", and performing an anti[magic] attack, mixed with references to the antimagic toxin non-magic-believing humans emit in Umineko.

[Y] (I'd also explain something like 'magic is the stuff that goes away when you believe in it' but it turns out all this stuff is vulnerable to not being believed in, who knew).

[Z] Nedben stop getting yourself injured it's something of a pattern and probably throws off the reliability of this alpha test. I assume by the time you get through the beta and prerelease into the main release you will have resolved this injury problem, because otherwise you are going to have a hard time getting through the beta and prerelease. Here, have some Firmament Armor copied from the CTG's nedben and a mental influence negation shield, the Firmament is a divine construct so it probably helps out goodly.

[ ] Anyway, so we're doing Creepy, are we? alright let me get my go-to...
[A] White flame ignites from a pile of CTGium. It is an old and familiar white, to some. Pure and lightless, absolute in its pallor, through which all sight is rendered purest white. Yet it obscures nothing. It is white, and white, and white, and not a shade of difference or distinction to render specificity to what is left behind it, but it only purifies, and does not obscure. To look through it is to see the purest form of the world, yet still, you cannot see through it. I cannot see through it. Why can we not see? why can I not see? why can't it be seen? why? why- ahem. let's cut away from that and change the subject. You might wonder why this White Flame is here. The Abomination hasn't shown up in CTG, has it?... well, yes and no. See, when ecneserP ehT was summoned, its hands were visible and aflame behind it, taking up almost 25% as much space as '& Knuckles'. It also made up one third of the Empty Chimera, after a fashion, and left a Remainder. Back to the flame.Where pure flame stood is now a robed figure, spindly-armed and narrow-headed. Even encased in flame, the black material that is its arms can be seen. It is All that can be seed through the pure flame of white, for only its blackness is pure, cannot be purified further, holds not a scrap of white. Its head is a truncated black cone, its face white upon that black shaped as a mask. It's smiling, and it's crying, and it feels nothing. It cries, always. It smiles, always. Its 'eyes', twin black pits, are open and unblinking, always. And it is an empty thing. Empty of emotion, of life, of language, of even thought. Still, it smiles. That... Is an abomination, yes, that's the point. No, it's... a mistake. a mistake? yes, like the most obvious way to be wrong about how to...
...
That's not safe to just walk around. It's not exactly capable of rebellion and it's already on a metaphorical leash, but by all means, knock yourself out.
Flame sparks around the Abomination, warm golden flame which is not eldritch and does not scar the mind to contemplate. Proper flame, turned divine, with a dozen minor variations of hue, and it wraps the Abomination, twining around it and through its purification, and denying that 'purity' as it must to remain true to its nature. It forms binds, ready. Just in case.The Abomination cares not, for it is an empty thing. It does not even glance down, though it has eyes. It smiles, and continues on its journey- to Rokkenjima. There lies an impure thing that thinks itself fear. It will learn better, soon. An empty thing cannot feel fear, cannot act differently whatever fear might be imposed, for it is a thing, and the Abomination pure besides. It shall come to heel.

[I] We have two of the Victory Pentagons that are Holy Spots. I am not precisely of Ocean's Fledge, but they aren't doing anything with that Holiness, and I am not opposed to them. Pyres are constructed, which burn constantly in healing flame and leave golden ashes as their residue even in the cold of the pole and beneath the waves, and the recognition of that miracle in that holy land becomes power, and holy power, and divine power, and divine will. I am I+!#(*$ No names. Redaction is the nature of the divine here! Fine. Still I seek to do something of worth. I speak to you divinities, I am new to this instantiation but baffled still, why are you so easily wounded- Why do your wounds injure the mind? Can at least the structure of the self not be made redundantly encoded? Are you struck so greatly that the redundancy is wiped to the last and wounded besides, and if so how do you yet survive? Do all strikes against you strike the whole world, and so prevent multiple forms from nullifying their harm?
These questions, have you already thought of them long and arrived as you are now besides?

[X] Dubstep On Rokkenjima

Really, dubstep is like, raw audio files from the game, right? If we just override the glitch noises or whatever with the sound of dubstep, we can force reboot Rokkenjima with the giant boot battering ram that I just taped to one of our boats.

Given the circumstances, I don't think sending in Polar Bear scouts is the best idea here. Better to face the whatever with our full force to try to mitigate the corruption. Otherwise, same as before. Just blast everything back with pure sound waves to try to kick the door down on Rokkenjima.

[X] You know, the corruption is probably Italian. It is a Creepy Pasta, after all. Our ships wave the Italian flag. That way, Rokkenjima will think we're friendlies. Totally...

[X] Er- hey! Use our new underwater base to advance our Hypnotic Tea! Salt water plus exotic undersea materials equals new brew. The touch of salt water makes the citizens of the Bunkering Kingdom want to drink more. And the underwater stuff is hopefully the flare we need to crack the code and take control.

Just bothering Byrn this time. We should probably send Shouter with the boats to attack Rokkenjima.

[X] We have Krakens you say? MILK GIANT SQUIDS FOR INK TO USE AS BLINDING AGENT/FOG CLOUD STUFF. Not a Shouter command, actually. Just felt like all-capsing it.

[X] Violens Mad Scientists and Teatree Geothermal Energy Specialists begin working on an industrial revolution. Because that's clearly the next step in one of these globe-trotting strategy games.

[X] Last thing. For the sake of redundancy. Heart attack roll for Eva Ushiromiya.

I mean, really. By now we must have established some "The Ruler of Naug is cursed to a quick death," voodoo or something.

Maybe we'll have to wait for the industrial revolution to invent fast food and start mass shipping that to wherever it is NAUG is now.

[X] REVEAL THE HOLES IN THE GAMESTATE

Oh, that's a lot less damaging. Thanks, I'll update this thingy back here and...

The boundary between a model implication and affecting way too much else of the worldstate is currently a side effect of how player powers operate. It happens, no big deal.

[X] Nedben: Stop Being Injured
I'm pretty sure you can tell this alpha test is intentionally unlikely to reach beta. It's one of those projects that flops in the workshop, assuming it's real.

nedben are you eating explosives again

oh no these are implosives, it's fine

Nedben respawns from imploding. Character-nedben...He's unfortunately Like That.

Purification in progress...Anchor divinity, confirmed.

The White-Black-Gold and Shouter have been assigned to the raid on Rokkenjima!
"YEAH SURE!" Shouter confirms. "I'LL GO LIKE, FOLLOW THE PURITY THING IN A BOAT OR WHATEVER WITH THE DUBSTEP FLEET."

Pentagons Antisanta and Capricornus have been templed to the BBBAD! I'm not sure what direction fire is on the Warlock Directional Chart but we'll make a new one for if this game survives long enough to reveal it's fake.

spoilers chairgreen

oh shit whoops uh just ignore that tactical fact nobody repeat that in red yet thanks

Q: Why are the divinities so easily injured?

The Sus are basically procedural forces that aren't supposed to have like...significant physical strength to them, beyond some stuff that's our personal choice in imposing avatars. Sure, shooting a piece of paper doesn't really uncensor it, but is the guy censoring it or the ink exceptionally bulletproof? What's some loud beeps supposed to be like, naturally? But that's why we recollect so easily. You can destroy emanation, but like, whenever something's cut out again that's what we represent and are. The concept that suppresses information is, itself, suppressed information when destroyed. So basically we screw with a few prioritizations and what's interpreted as what, and when we get killed our death state is being alive again. It's sort of like how Ciel Tsukihime is necessitated alive by the world as long as Roa is an immortal reincarnating vampire, so whatever absurdity kills her the planet reassembles her to life before she can dissipate, but with different underlying mechanics and pins of making-it-work. Or how whenever you kill Nedben he respawns because 'nedben is dead' or 'nedben doesn't exist' is defined as 'nedben is alive again' so setting him to dead sets him to life with what should kill him. Illegal little moves that break logic and such.

I'm probably actually a lot more resilient than most people here, but haven't had a chance to show it. I think I'm using a bunrei-size emanation, with a few details cribbed from the Servant framework? Images turned into a person rather than a conventional vessel. Nedben is something nonsensical, Senator Damita is a higher-order existence just making affectations, BB is mercifully not fully here, and Vanguard is overpowered...Yeah. For comparison, you've basically watched everyone else explode from being talked at or hit with trivial attacks. Several of those godmodder counters were kind of below-par honestly.

I'm basically a quirk narrator. I exist because I exist and have power because the formation of my substrate is both controlled and aligns with the effects of expressing reality-warping power. I'm made of a self-growing power and a few simple acts...and writing up all the rules that make 'a person' more than a little shaping bestfit is effortful at my lack of skill level.

I'm a colornarratori who got stuffed with a bunch of questionable hacks and put on the chair! Like the Sus, I don't naturally have a physical existence and so I'm really bad at preventing it from dying whenever something screws up the template's vital organs. I can't even eat implosives!

(implosives are weapons greenie that's why they kill you to eat)

(oh)

(also get back on the chair before creepypasta chognoid takes over the story)

(right)

Q: Why are the divinities so mentally injured by physical injuries?

WE HAVE VERY LITTLE EXPERIENCE AT MAINTAINING A HUMAN MINDSTATE. HUMAN MINDSTATES ARE APPARENTLY VERY BAD AT HANDLING CERTAIN TYPES OF UNKNOWN.

I have no idea what I'm doing. I tried to act all ominous earlier but really my lack of skill is showing.

More technically, it's because maintaining the human act is hard to do more than panicky. Like...we're doing a shitty emulation but the emulator instructions say to screw up, or whatever. But we're screwing up at following the script, because we're not using something that's machine-precise and all. So the differences build up and then we sort of have a seizure. SO we try and autocorrect for that but it really doesn't work out and so we have a bit of a spasm while realigning our godselves with our bodyminds.

There's a difference between like, us us and then our physical bodies, because we're naturally bullshit reality warping and abstract processes whatever. And those thought processes are harder to influence, but are also way shittier at physical interference. Telekinetic handwaves and button-pokes are a lot less intuitive than arms when we're built to do shit like 'broadly affect this area's underlying composition' or 'align a set of possible worlds' instead of 'here are X physical actions occurring at my direct discretion as opposed to enacting character or retroactive stabilization' yeah fuck it's complicated sometimes.

that's because you're a noob lol

no u

It's like...trying to fit a way bigger 'main body' existence into a 'terminal body', maybe? In that our angle of approach would be really out there or focus on following phenomenal rules. We're new to this thing, and it's less that we're immature and more that the network design is faulty to start with. So you get things like disagreeing with your own limbs, or part of the processor being hijacked and having to be reset. Or the rules not following the rules and getting all confused what to do next, as the case may be.

Q: Why are the divinities not more redundant? Are they being destroyed through this and recovering anyway?

I don't really take precautions but the others do. This is why Block Character is so fine faster, Data Expunged is more chill, Censored is systemizing, and half the Sus aren't talking to y'all. (Is Janet even still in the observation room?)

(I don't think she is.) Sucks to be you all, I brought backups.

If I disperse over network it gets kind of fucky. Like, other things infesting my definition space when something gets wonky.

Q: Did you actually prepare like, at all? (mostly in the context of the previous questions)

No.
No.
I picked up a fan or something for cool defensive stylish stuff somewhere?
I HIT THE GYM.
I decided to nest in the upper-level more stable mechanics while Redacted chose to run the less stable mechanics.
I think I was born metaphorical yesterday like, during the span of this game? I did some offscreen education stuff but fuck bildungsroman all my homies hate bildungsroman.

I took some notes from the last time my service staff showed up in a Nedben game, and I'm vaguely aware of the games he's referencing. That said, this was basically an improvised summon and I wouldn't call it a powerful instance or a ready one. Ready for what, well, you're the guys suggesting actions and thus the bulk of how the environment could go wrong.

I prepared and then I threw out most of my preparation.

-

Eva, have a heart attack!: 50 + 5
Eva doesn't want to have a heart attack. 31 + 15

Eva dies! NAUG rulership has been transferred to Ange Ushiromiya! I think we basically have Okonogi left after her before the side is finally decapitated.



The portion of this update governing the battle will be completed later.

SKELEDOP INCOMPLETE...

The mad science revolution is in progress....with the power of squid ink! And saltier tea.
Overall: 57
Squid: 68
Tea: 66

It seems that the bulk of the refluffery is reallocated to succeeding on individual tasks. Squid ink clouds developed! Tea situation advanced...? A lot of control over Q&A is falling into place, it just needs to be taken advantage of. There's generally progress on the underlying factors needed to do a lot of things with the mad science vibe. Lots of theoretical underpinnings and useful components, but assembling it into more dedicated machinery and doing some refining before rollout is still underway.

ITALIAN FALSE FLAG OPERATION: 47
ITALY DOESN'T EVEN EXIST IN THIS GAME: 53


Rokkenjima gets wise to the false flag trick by the time units actually get over there! The battle begins.

And holy shit did they bring everything that was NAUG in this city before it got decapped. They haven't finished remodeling the walls, but they darn well brainwashed the troops!

DUBSTEP HARBOR WAVE: 55
Rokkenjima anti-landing hurricane: 58

Base drops synchronize with thunder. Wind and waves undulate. Static shifts as claps become subtle and blow away. But here...here is a war.
(( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWkPFyJfwYc ? ))

WARUGILIA APPEARS, ANTIMAGILINKFIELD SPIRITRON PARTICLE WARFARE: 75 + 60
Shouter interrupt: 48 + 30
White-Black-Gold counter: 51 + 90

(Gap 84)



The forces breach the harbor as magi tangle. Virgilia seems forced to dedicate the majority of spiritron particle warfare to suppressing you all, leaving plenty of room for shouter and the others to cast. But that isn't all...



BATTLE TOWERS OF THE WAR GOD: 45 + 90
135!!

Can we deploy without being eviscerated? 62 + 30
92

Gap 43

Um. No. Ocean's Fledge deployment groups are pretty much obliterated. Dorfs take to the air as the vessels they rode in on are obliterated in hails of ballista.



CHIESTER SISTERS, OPEN FIRE! 59 + 90
00: 73 +90
410: 60 +90
45: 59 +90
611!!

(( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbyKTjJwz5I ))

Dubstep defense: 59 + 60
Runic shield layer: 40 + 15
Screening wind: 47 + 5
Bard Boost: 79

305!!

...306...

An obscene volume of fire kills dozens of dorfs instantly, burning through layer after layer of sorcery. Is that even a realistic count of dorfs for it to kill?!

"SEWING!" Virgilia commands in a rampage of magic circles, though it's more like "SOOOOOOOO" drawn out dramatically for some reason.

Ocean's Fledge rally check: 58

But things manage. A hail of fire that could wipe out an army of heroes, and a second wave designed to end the holy war, but it manages.



Virgilia pulls out even more stops: 54 + 60 + ???

Shouter ain't here for that: 35 + 30
White Gold Black Objection: 53 + 90

Whatever cheat she was going to use is foiled, but somehow she pulls forth a single blazing spear the gungnir. Even though she was overwhelmed, that she still boosted further means the existing defenses must be outright obscene. A line of giants with holy shields erupts.

ENEMY FORCES CONFIRMED IN HARBOR:

4 battle towers (collectively operate at +90, each tower is about +20 and coordination does the rest)
1 honor guard of Chiester Sisters: +90 offensively
1 line of shield-giants: + 90 defensively
3 miscellaneous units of battlemaids, butterfly swarms, goats, etc.

Virgilia: +60 occult +15 other stats, currently at +30 martial from Gungnir boost
Chiester 00: +90 martial (after unknown boosts)
Chiester 410: +90 martial (after unknown boosts)
Chiester 45: +90 martial (after unknown boosts)

ALLIED FORCES IN HARBOR:

Dorfcount.exe has received a catastrophic error: +15 occult, +15 martial, apparently doesn't die until other allied units are purged
Shouter: +30 occult, +15 martial, NaN Learning, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, AXE POWER, QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
White-Gold-Black: Operating at +90 everything and Ę̶̟͍̰̥̪̳̩̟́̓̃͜x̴̨̡̲͍̹̬̺͒͑͊ͅp̴̻̞̟͉͕̝̜̯̫̥͕͎̱͒͗̄̇̐͛̂̉̔̌̆̀̉̽̚ͅę̶͎̇̆̎̓͋̄̀́͒̆͑̑͝͝l̴͙̭͓̹̯̬̳͈͙̣̖̦̓̃̓ ̷̠̼̬̻̝̝̙͈̼͈͚̞̙̈́t̵̩̻̗͈͇̣̟̞͎̳̒̌́͘̕͜ͅh̶̰̪̤̘̆̎̽̃͆̒̆̈́͑̅̀͘͝ḛ̷̛̛͍̔̌̈́̾͒̽̕ ̵̠̝͎̘̬̼͙̔̅͂f̷̞͍̱̾̀̿́̃̈̒̏̃̈ö̶͙̼͙̥̻̮̯͇͚̠̭͐̒͝r̴̙̗̝͚͇̹̽̊̇̎̈̐͐̊̂̚ͅb̸̢̢͍̪͖̯͈̰̳̫̯̦̜͕̜̂͒̈́̊͗͗͝i̴͈̲͋̄̈́͜d̸̼̲̞͔̩͔̤̞̻͓̦̰̑̇͐̔̊̄͑̏̿̋̃͝d̴̢̼͚̞̟̭̙̪̤̮̣͕̝̳͆͆́̍̔̈͠ė̴̯̰̳̘̻̞̥͑́͜n̸͖̼̜͑̍͗̃̐̽̍̔͝ ̵̭̗̦͛̑̀o̸̮͎̭̒̊̃͑n̶̝̱͈͕̠̋e̶̡̡̥̞̙̬̣̥͇͗͜͜,̷̝̙̦̞̮̲͙̤̈́̄̈́̓͑̏̇͐̐̿͘̚ ̶̼̤̈̎̆̍̋̄͌̈́́̚͝w̴̠̤̫̙̪̙̪̹̟̟̮͐͐̐̇̌̉͐̍̓̒̄̾͝a̷̲̞̝̜̞̫̺͇̼̦͖͕̭͙̝̓̌̈́̿̏̉̇͛̎̆̈̓͑n̵̢̺̯͙͇̳̜̱̖̽͗̄͛̌͗̋͗̍̓͗d̶̹̻̝͔̲̝̹̱̘̓̏̅̅̇̐̈́͒͑̎̋͐̄͝ẻ̸̢̧̧͎̮̝͕͓̝̮͕̭̪̇͠͠r̸̩͓̦̲̜̭̣̖͙̱͈̀̆̈́̊̽͜i̴̡̪̣̠̯̙͙̺͕̗̠̞̜͎͉͐ņ̶͈̦͎̯̮̆ğ̴̒̈́̇̐̏͒̋̆̅͜ ̷̨͙̳͎͇͕͉͈͓͕̥͓͎͛ͅd̷̢̳̯̖͖͓̯̘̯̙̓̈́̆̑̔͋͌̈́̇͌̄̊̂̒͝i̴͈̥̬̱͇͕͈͗̌͛̑̾̒v̸̡͍̙̝͇̬̭̹̜͔̬̹̻̰͋͋̿̎̽̑̽̕ḯ̷͖̣͒̆̀̕͠n̴̪͇̫̼̮͇͙͌̉̎̆̕͜͜͠i̴̢̡̙̘̜͓͙̅̿̇͂͂̾̏̕͘t̵̗̬̯̹̥̝̖̣̄̆͑̎̅̏͆̀̀̓́͜͜͝y̴̺͓̭̞̱̥̥̜̤̤̙̤̞͌
5 boatloads Dorf-bard mixed dubstep gunnery that isn't glitching: +60 martial, +15 occult, unspecified other bonuses
Superpowered negative Herobrine: hanging out I guess

ENEMY FORCES EXPECTED INSIDE CITY:
Seven Stakes of Purgatory (likely around +15 martial before boosts?)
Warlady Jessica Ushiromiya (likely around +15 martial but abusing an escalating boost to scale rapidly)
Moon Commander Krauss Ushiromiya (likely around +15 martial)
Magical Girl Natsuhi Ushiromiya (likely around +30 occult, +15 martial)
Furfur and Zepar (+60 occult, +30 martial, +15 else, casts buff spells the longer it takes to clear the harbor)
4 miscellaneous units of battlemaids, butterfly swarms, goats, etc.


ENEMY FORCES EXPECTED IN GARRISON:
Shanon-Kanon Combined Chognoid: +90 all stats base, +120 Ṅ̷̠͍͓̠̍̎̀̀̃̉̅͛̐̑͘͘͝͠Ȯ̵̢̧̪̞̫͎̼̰̮̺̬̗̫̍̿̕ͅͅT̷͈̖͍͚͚̤̝͔͌̉ͅ ̴̗̺͒̋̑͆͝͝͠T̵̻̻͎͈̳̻͓͐̈́́̏͑̐̀̃ͅĔ̶̘͚̼̪͎̦͙͚̯̘̈́͂͛͗͗͛͊̎̚͘Ĺ̵̢̧̠̹̼͓͇̹̫͖̳͙͊̀̇͐͘͜͠L̸͔̰̼͈͋̿̽͋̓̚ͅÌ̶̧̨͕͈̜̉̋͐̎N̷̡̮̯̣̟̙̘̉͊́̎̍͑͑͛̈́̏͘͘ͅḠ̸̨̡͉͎͕̭̪̫̱̝̲͗̄̈́͠ͅ ̶̣̹̖͍̈̽Ỷ̵̞̪͕̈́͆Ô̸̢̰̹̮̥̮̝̍̃̈́͘͝Ù̴̖̝͚͖͚͕̭̠͚̱̣̯̥̍̉͝ͅ
Gaap (will orchestrate an escape trick, +60 occult +30 martial +15 else)
Flauros (+60 occult, +30 martial, +15 else, prepared to burninate)
Dr. Nanjo (rapid healing effects)
8 miscellaneous units of battlemaids, butterfly swarms, goats, etc.

The day is long.
(( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXgnqO7VIxg ))

"OKAY I DON'T THINK WE CAN TAKE THIS" Shouter says, dodging a number of unexpectedly fast lance thrusts and a sweeping impalement of harbor ground and firing back at countless tracking-arrows. "WE'RE GONNA NEED YOU GUYS TO CHEAT ON OUR BEHALF!"

The white-gold-black of the Abomination bound by the BBBAD burns away the hollow sky, but is constrained by a large number of anti-magilink fields. Sustained fire eats away at fire, a crushing wave of impurity from the western art. Lances of rainbow light, spheres of color, shouting fists, runes fired off like fireworks. Dance-fighting multipliers and improvised arts radiate across Rokkenjima harbor. Landfall hasn't been reached, and the sky is awash with arrows and interception of arrows.






Whatever's going on there is hard to comprehend. I suggest not comprehending it.

What
[ ] Help
- [ ] (commit creative attacks)

[ ] Oh No
Evacuate(?)

Update...complete? Probably? To the extent I can complete it. The battle for Rokkenjima Harbor is on! Try to prevent your heroes and unglitched troops from dying! Virgilia has blanketed the Abomination in most of her spirit particle warfare systems, but she will attempt to counter your actions Godmodder-style despite not being a godmodder! I think she's cheating at action economy somehow. This round she'll really focus on countering attacks, so maybe focus on defending against attacks or bolstering the units.


Bonus: the fight extremely not to scale, thrown together in approximately 21 minutes as a sketch missing most of the units

[X] Ange, have a heart attack!

[Y] This creepypasta monster is kinda a spiritual successor to the NAUG group so it's also a valid target for this pattern. Creepypasta monster, have a heart attack! It doesn't matter if you don't have a heart, Eva probably didn't either since she was cosplaying as a witch or something.

[A] First, a clarification- the BBBA Deity is not Empowering the Abomination. Its flames are a binding, inactive but ready. Carry on... The Abomination smiles up at Warugilia. Antimagic will only carry you so far- It is an abomination of Form as well as Substance, and of combat. Its form carries many advantages, for it has no muscles or vital tissues- no limit on the speed at which it can safely move. Its spindle-arms may crack- but that is no object, for they must crack to move at all, and will resettle in a fraction-moments time. With a crack of pure-flame and abyssal ice to rival the ballista-fire of the Towers, one black 'hand' snaps up to yank a loosed projectile out of the sky. The Abomination sways a half-step's distance to the side and twists, loosing the projectile swifter yet at Warugilia- The flame of purity expanding from within and set to burst on impact. But that is only a distraction. In the same motion, as the approaching bolt blots out Warugilia's vision, the Abomination throws itself off the boat- grabs at the edge, swings under, and is off through the water beneath the battle proper.
We'll return to it later.

[Z] DORFS! FLOOD THE BATTLESPACE WITH YOUR UNLIMITED NUMBERS! IT LITERALLY DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY OF YOU THEY KILL AND EVENTUALLY THE BUILDUP OF YOUR CORPSES WILL OBSCURE THEIR LINE OF FIRE AND ALSO THEY'LL RUN OUT OF AMMO. SHOUTER, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR iiiiiiiiiiiiii AND QQQQQQQQQQ PROPERTIES DO? SUPERPOWERED NEGATIVE HEROBRINE WHO I GUESS IS HERE NOW, LOOT THE IRON AND DIAMONDS AND STUFF ALL THESE DORFS ARE DROPPING WHEN THEY DIE ACCORDING TO MINECRAFT LOOT RULES AND USE IT TO CRAFT YOURSELF THE BEST ARMOR EVER AND AN IRON PICKAXE WITH A GOLD HANDLE (NOT A DIAMOND ONE, IRON. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ICONIC HEROBRINE THINGY).

[A] The Abomination surfaces at the feet of the Shield-giants. Theirs is a holy shield, but that is not all- it is a worthy one, an 'absolute' shield, so sayeth Umineko. In being absolute, it is nearly pure.
All the easier turned to the truly pure, then. The Abomination, shielded from the antimagical influence by the shield it sits beneath and having escaped Warugilia's gaze besides, rests its hand upon the shield, and white flame flickers into vision, not a mere spark but a torrent. Water is no obstacle, for the White flame is not of chemicals. The Flame races up the shield like a wildfire, pure white covering it entirely and grand dissipating globule-wisps flaring into the skies as the flare covers the barrier, and swiftly spreads to the Giant holding the shield; and loose sparks spread in all directions, too many for world or Antimagic(for it is a flame too opposed to the nature of such realities to be stable even untouched) to suppress so swiftly, and the other shields, too, erupt in white. The Abomination smiles as the Shield-giants all start to collapse, overtaken by fire, but go rigid as their limbs become pure. They gaze into the flame and they do not understand, and they cannot understand, for the world does not understand. But they will.

[I] I think something is very likely to go wrong, very soon. But as The Abomination has been behaving, and is no longer on Pure Flame that seeks to convert my divine fire,I have the power to spare... I erect a barrier of distorted endlessly-stretched space around the site of the current battle, ensuring anything moving at a finite speed will take an infinite amount of time to propagate its effects outside. Whatever moves swifter I shall contend with through Divinity directly

[A] The Giants have all been converted, by now. Now, the sisters. Which are mostly dangerous because they were computed as four independently-tracked contributors working additively. The Abomination holds a finger against the endlessly-flowing tear-tracks pouring from its eyes and pulls it slowly away, void-dark fluid freezing against the spindle-finger and forming into a long, dark needle of solidity, which the Abomination snaps off its finger. Peaking out from behind the absolute barrier of the giant, the javelin of utter blackness is launched at one of the four, flashing through the sky in a fraction of a heartbeat and moving with such swiftness it leaves a trail of mundane flame in its wake. It strikes with pinpoint accuracy, piercing cleanly into the chest of its target, already beginning to melt. The abyssal liquid that made that needle is a corrosive thing, purification like poison to the dead. It is a physical infection first and a mental one second, the body betraying its owner, and the speed of poison is slower than flame to absolute shield by far- but it would not help to slay the affected, for a corpse is material enough.
When this fallen sister rises again, her attacks will be not curving pseudo-light, but the pitch-black spikes that match that which purified her in each respect. And her siblings will know the same fate.

[*u*] Something else, as well. This is not action, but implication- For the abyssal droplets ever flow, and purify, and cannot be diluted. and The Abomination swam through the waters around Rokkenjima.
Vantablack Purification spreads outwards from where it swam, turning the waters into a sightless abyss, 'lethal' in instants to whosoever should so much as touch them. The Purification will 'stop' at the Barrier of the BBBA deity, when it gets there... so it is fortunate the barrier exists.

[D] The Abomination may or may not be a commander (I dunno) but it directs some Dorfs to take a dip. There are an unlimited supply, after all. Soon, those which dipped rise as Pure Dorfs, a new unit. Less capable of creation in this world- indeed, incapable entirely, save for the simplest of physical structure- but superior in combat and subversion, and Pure. And so too rises each dwarf that died during Z.

[Oh yeah] also. It matters not if 'That is impure', for all is save the Abomination. The Abomination shall simply burn it away, and it shall become purified. A Smothered Mate is possible only if there is a King to smother, but the Abomination is nothing of the sort.

[X] ...This was a terrible time to get behind on homework, wasn't it?

But you know who else would find this to be a terrible time to get behind on her homework? Vigrilia.

I start throwing textbooks at Virgilia. With each impact, she gets enrolled in a new course. The credit hours start piling over her. They begin weighing her down.

Math problems start flashing before Virgilia's eyes. English prompts wrap around her arms and throw her this way and that. The newest history podcast body slams her ears, and something about REM sleep stabs her in the eyes.

And business. So much BUSINESS! The Economics of suddenly taking over a city. They punch Virgilia in the gut as her troop expenditures start to actually exist. That glowy spear. how many watts of electricity does it use? How much energy does that drain? Where are her generators? Are they solar powered? Wind? You can't say it's magic. Magic is for unemployed street rats in tuxedos. Magic is for struggling authors who can't be bothered to understand sci-fi. Magic is for babies. IS VIRGILIA A BABY!?

Obligatory "I drop the big baby on the battlefield and make it fart again." Fed it too many beans. The baby waddles away after it does its business.

Buried in diapers, Virgilia realizes she doesn't know where her pens are. Oh no! How can she write her royal decrees and stuff without a pen? She tries opening them on her laptop, but IT'S OUT OF CHARGE! OH NO!

Now Virgilia is freaking out. She has a test in five minutes and she hasn't studied at all. Oh crap. OH CRAP. All the buttons on her calculator are too sticky. She put so many highlights in the textbook that she can't even read it. The study guide has nothing to do with the test. Dear God, who designed these course!?

The University drops on top of her head. It begins munching her brains. Chomp chomp chomp. The weight of the UNIVERSE on her shoulders. It's too much to even-

I stab Virgilia with her pens. TAKE THAT!

And Virgilia curls up in a ball as she has a mental breakdown about how she's gonna get three drafts done before 11:59 in 10 seconds.

[X] Er- oh. The strategy is to NOT focus on offense... That's- that's just not what I do.

Well, if the problem is that our five unglitched boats are at risk, why don't we just glitch them?

I plug some Country Music into the Dubstep Guns. The weapons crash. A large error "BRRRRRRZZZZZZZ!" screams out of the weapons, firing a massive wave of NOT-A-NORMAL at the Battle Towers.

[X] ...That wasn't defense, was it?

You know what's better than de-fense? Deez nu- NO! I'M BETTER THAN THAT! WE'RE NOT GOING TO-

Peanuts rain down on Rokkenjima. They form a fence between our ranged troops and the enemy's melee troops. It's dangerous to jump the fence. They might twist an ankle. Not worth the risk.

[X] Um... Start getting some sea monster reinforcements going. And Polar Bears, if they'd like. I doubt they'll be in time for combat any time soon, but if we're going to die on this hill, I'll make it my mission to die spectacularly.

[M] Oh yeah, sea monsters! Those probably count as mounts, right? But some of them are also normal troops. which you could mount to avoid drowning in the ocean, but they could also mount other sea monsters because they're smaller sea monsters
Where am I going with this? by introducing the implication of a [mount/normal] unit, the sea monsters can mount sea monsters which mount sea monsters(and swap out whenever the bottom one runs out of move), allowing them all to travel as far as the number of monsters times their individual move! the sea monsters arrive, not just soon, but immediately, same-turn!

[X] Rokkenjima Is Unrealistic



Ange dies! She didn't even roll to resist! NAUG is on its current last heir, Okonogi Tetsurou!





Due to what was avoidable but definitely chosen there has been an extreme decryption accident.

The Abomination has purified and subverted the shield-giants and generic Chiester Sisters!

Unfortunately, the dipped dorfs disintegrate into flecks of pure matter. The pure matter in question is still quite usable for ordered violence, but it seems they're made of a certain type of impurity! Tear apart the convolution and nothing is left. This world is actually-Don't tell them that. That would break things.

they already know it's fake so moving on details aside

Virgilia? Virgilia are you going to counter the purificaGAMESTATE ERROR Array<256, 256, itemsize=41>: index -65537 out of range [0..2]



step=0 exceptionCode=0xC0000005

There's too many units! The dorf corpses are piling up! It's full of pure matter! The everything is on fire! The fire is on fire! The fire is on purification! The is on! Is! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!questionMark,exclamationPoint
"NOT THIS TIME TIMMOTHY"

Q: SHOUTER, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR iiiiiiiiiiiiii AND QQQQQQQQQQ PROPERTIES DO?

"NO ACTUALLY" Shouter says. "I THINK THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SMARTPROPERTIES BUT THE GAME IS DOING THAT THING LIKE SKYRIM DOES WHERE IT FUMBLES THE MEMORY AND EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT"

SUPERPOWERED NEGATIVE HEROBRINE: LOOT
IRON! DIAMONDS! GOLD! ICONIC HEROBRINE WEAPON BUT COLOR INVERTED

Superpowered Negative Herobrine exsquelchiates across elegant paisley and rotless holy. There is a bad case of oreganoNotFoundException(callFiveGuys()) and then he has AXEPICK, who is AXE POWERRRRRRRR and was collected from the drop table. PURIFICATION IN PROGRESS

The batter is consumption. He is here, executioner god shape, but not really. He is the inversion that is maxstate erratic the

The

The The The The The The The
The The The The The
The The The The The The
The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The The The
The The The The The The The
The The The The The The
The The The The
The
The The



Undiluted and unkinged, there is someone who is the absence of a king who is waiting to be born. The batter

The

Reference error detected. Recalibrating.

An extremely massive pile of kraken riding other kraken storms into the hex, causing a memory overflow so disastrous the game inexplicably writes its way back into an array delimiter and unexplodes! Polar bears teeter atop it spectacularly, occasionally parachuting down to join the

Why are the polar bears pure
I didn't do that
Neither did I

I think it's the incursion's fault.



No comment.

Comment: Lots.

I'm going to tactically ignore the polar bears being suspiciously purified and move onto the next.


Virgilia counters yoour attack....by succeeding? SUCCEEDING?!?

She's bleeding from several stab wounds and could seriously use some rest, but she did it! Completing the Ten Second Essay Challenge, she's solved several complex math problems, written the next great English masterpiece, listened to the history broadcast (to be fair there's only a few hundred days of it locally so they had to enroll her in off-world history), solved the upkeep problem that's been dogging Redacted for the past few months, successfully proved Gungnir possible as a geothermally constructed ballistic missile that uses nuclear [REDACTED BY DIVINE FORCES]!

Equipping the universe university was actually quite helpful, and it even bit on!

The battle towers are extremely not normal.
That's not normal, as you may have stated.

Peanuts rain down. And you know what else arrives at baseball?

THE DUCKY!

Oh for vehk's sake, Bad Batter already. That'll probably convolute matters.

Superpowered Negative Herobrine plants some Eerts and bonemeals them to full size, allowing the PURIFICATION IN PROGRESS to



FU-

The battle towers successfully take off into space to reunite with the mothership! Virgilia ascends with them to charge her laptop, becoming the next Doctress since Melissa Vanguard is busy being hostile af and the Thirteenth Doctor is busy being The Doctor.



The forces are in shambles and the survivors purified with minimal losses.

"I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT I'M FINE WITH A HERO RUN." Shouter says!

Review of battle footage indicates the heroic Chiester trio vanished under unclear circumstances before purification was possible. They became blurry and disappeared. 410 displayed hand-on-hip body language commensurate with a casual interruption. Status unclear, but not likely to be a local teleport.

ALLIED FORCES IN HARBOR:

1 PURIFIED SISTERS: +90 offensively
1 PURIFIED SHIELD GIANTS: + 90 defensively
3 miscellaneous PURIFIED, humanoid(?).
2 miscellaneous PURIFIED (postdorfist tofu)
3 boatloads Dorf-bard mixed dubstep gunnery that isn't glitching: +60 martial, +15 occult, unspecified other bonuses
1 PURIFIED POLAR BEARS OF UNCLEAR PROVENANCE
THE KRAKEN STACK (PREFERABLY AQUATIC, VERY TERRIFYING WHEN NOT)


Dorfcount.exe has received a catastrophic error: +15 occult, +15 martial, apparently doesn't die until other allied units are purged
Shouter: +30 occult, +15 martial, NaN Learning, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, AXE POWER, QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
White-Gold-Black: Operating at +90 everything and Ę̶̟͍̰̥̪̳̩̟́̓̃͜x̴̨̡̲͍̹̬̺͒͑͊ͅp̴̻̞̟͉͕̝̜̯̫̥͕͎̱͒͗̄̇̐͛̂̉̔̌̆̀̉̽̚ͅę̶͎̇̆̎̓͋̄̀́͒̆͑̑͝͝l̴͙̭͓̹̯̬̳͈͙̣̖̦̓̃̓ ̷̠̼̬̻̝̝̙͈̼͈͚̞̙̈́t̵̩̻̗͈͇̣̟̞͎̳̒̌́͘̕͜ͅh̶̰̪̤̘̆̎̽̃͆̒̆̈́͑̅̀͘͝ḛ̷̛̛͍̔̌̈́̾͒̽̕ ̵̠̝͎̘̬̼͙̔̅͂f̷̞͍̱̾̀̿́̃̈̒̏̃̈ö̶͙̼͙̥̻̮̯͇͚̠̭͐̒͝r̴̙̗̝͚͇̹̽̊̇̎̈̐͐̊̂̚ͅb̸̢̢͍̪͖̯͈̰̳̫̯̦̜͕̜̂͒̈́̊͗͗͝i̴͈̲͋̄̈́͜d̸̼̲̞͔̩͔̤̞̻͓̦̰̑̇͐̔̊̄͑̏̿̋̃͝d̴̢̼͚̞̟̭̙̪̤̮̣͕̝̳͆͆́̍̔̈͠ė̴̯̰̳̘̻̞̥͑́͜n̸͖̼̜͑̍͗̃̐̽̍̔͝ ̵̭̗̦͛̑̀o̸̮͎̭̒̊̃͑n̶̝̱͈͕̠̋e̶̡̡̥̞̙̬̣̥͇͗͜͜,̷̝̙̦̞̮̲͙̤̈́̄̈́̓͑̏̇͐̐̿͘̚ ̶̼̤̈̎̆̍̋̄͌̈́́̚͝w̴̠̤̫̙̪̙̪̹̟̟̮͐͐̐̇̌̉͐̍̓̒̄̾͝a̷̲̞̝̜̞̫̺͇̼̦͖͕̭͙̝̓̌̈́̿̏̉̇͛̎̆̈̓͑n̵̢̺̯͙͇̳̜̱̖̽͗̄͛̌͗̋͗̍̓͗d̶̹̻̝͔̲̝̹̱̘̓̏̅̅̇̐̈́͒͑̎̋͐̄͝ẻ̸̢̧̧͎̮̝͕͓̝̮͕̭̪̇͠͠r̸̩͓̦̲̜̭̣̖͙̱͈̀̆̈́̊̽͜i̴̡̪̣̠̯̙͙̺͕̗̠̞̜͎͉͐ņ̶͈̦͎̯̮̆ğ̴̒̈́̇̐̏͒̋̆̅͜ ̷̨͙̳͎͇͕͉͈͓͕̥͓͎͛ͅd̷̢̳̯̖͖͓̯̘̯̙̓̈́̆̑̔͋͌̈́̇͌̄̊̂̒͝i̴͈̥̬̱͇͕͈͗̌͛̑̾̒v̸̡͍̙̝͇̬̭̹̜͔̬̹̻̰͋͋̿̎̽̑̽̕ḯ̷͖̣͒̆̀̕͠n̴̪͇̫̼̮͇͙͌̉̎̆̕͜͜͠i̴̢̡̙̘̜͓͙̅̿̇͂͂̾̏̕͘t̵̗̬̯̹̥̝̖̣̄̆͑̎̅̏͆̀̀̓́͜͜͝y̴̺͓̭̞̱̥̥̜̤̤̙̤̞͌
Superpowered negative Herobrine: armed, armored, and treefarmed
The Batter

ENEMY FORCES EXPECTED INSIDE CITY:
Seven Stakes of Purgatory (likely around +15 martial before boosts?)
Warlady Jessica Ushiromiya (likely around +15 martial base but abusing an escalating boost to scale rapidly)
Moon Commander Krauss Ushiromiya (likely around +15 martial)
Magical Girl Natsuhi Ushiromiya (likely around +30 occult, +15 martial)
Furfur and Zepar (+60 occult, +30 martial, +15 else, casts buff spells the longer it takes to clear the harbor)
4 miscellaneous units of battlemaids, butterfly swarms, goats, etc.


ENEMY FORCES EXPECTED IN GARRISON:
Shanon-Kanon Combined Chognoid: +90 all stats base, +120 Ṅ̷̠͍͓̠̍̎̀̀̃̉̅͛̐̑͘͘͝͠Ȯ̵̢̧̪̞̫͎̼̰̮̺̬̗̫̍̿̕ͅͅT̷͈̖͍͚͚̤̝͔͌̉ͅ ̴̗̺͒̋̑͆͝͝͠T̵̻̻͎͈̳̻͓͐̈́́̏͑̐̀̃ͅĔ̶̘͚̼̪͎̦͙͚̯̘̈́͂͛͗͗͛͊̎̚͘Ĺ̵̢̧̠̹̼͓͇̹̫͖̳͙͊̀̇͐͘͜͠L̸͔̰̼͈͋̿̽͋̓̚ͅÌ̶̧̨͕͈̜̉̋͐̎N̷̡̮̯̣̟̙̘̉͊́̎̍͑͑͛̈́̏͘͘ͅḠ̸̨̡͉͎͕̭̪̫̱̝̲͗̄̈́͠ͅ ̶̣̹̖͍̈̽Ỷ̵̞̪͕̈́͆Ô̸̢̰̹̮̥̮̝̍̃̈́͘͝Ù̴̖̝͚͖͚͕̭̠͚̱̣̯̥̍̉͝ͅ
Gaap (will orchestrate an escape trick, +60 occult +30 martial +15 else)
Flauros (+60 occult, +30 martial, +15 else, prepared to burninate)
Dr. Nanjo (rapid healing effects)
8 miscellaneous units of battlemaids, butterfly swarms, goats, etc.

What about the bab-


The baby was sent to child protective services because it was left unattended. Moving on.

Luckily, you were able to conquer the harbor before Jessica could be buffed too far.


The effects of Virgilia's countermeasures are not immediately visible in this update (beyond that a few actions did not behave as expected). They will be apparent in the next, barring successful disarming.








Uh.
W-what do you do now?

[ ] (destroy Jessica Ushiromiya before CHOGNO exemplifies its incarnation process)
- [ ] (prepare for the catastrophe)

[X] Er, so... we took the harbor, I guess. But... what's a CHOGNO? I Google searched it, and all I'm getting is some city in Mongolia.

...You know, that sounds about right. And if we're fighting the Mongols, all we need to do is inject CHOGNO with some fatal horse diseases to kill all their horses.

I summon a bunch of Mayfly eggs and shove them down the mouths of all the city's horses. The mayflies are, by classification, flatworms, and they're all carrying Neorickettsia risticii bacterium they got from their mommy aquatic snail. The Neorickettsia risticii bacterium infect the horses and give them DEPRESSION!

Depression and a loss of appetite, fever, decreased intestinal sounds (ie less dubstep), diarrhea, and mild colic, whatever that last one is.

Severe cases are FATAL! And by severe, I mean all of them! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[X] Anyways, I think the whole batter thing was talking about the baby I summoned, but now I really just wanna bake a cake. I give it to... Jessica, I guess? It has a bunch of sparkly candles. Really nice frosting. It's very pretty. Pink with strawberries on it. It's almost too beautiful to eat.

Don't worry, though. I won't make Jessica eat it. The candles are all sticks of dynamite and they explode in her face.

[X] Uh... other things I picked out of the update. Virgillia figured out how to make Gungir? Okay? I'm gonna assume that was her spear since I think I made fun of her for it, but if she wrote a paper about how to make Gungir, I can just read that and make Gungir myself!

I make Gungir, Odin's Spear! I then throw it over an assembly of Vanir Gods, starting an Aesir-Vanir War in the City! This has consequence I definitely don't understand!

[X] Actually reading the enemies we're fighting...

I blow up the Moon, making Moon Commander Krauss Ushiromiya's job redundant. It also has the side effect of dropping meteors on his head. Whoops.

[X] I summon a horde of hungry hauflins to consume the Seven Steaks of Purgatory.

[X] I fuse Furfur and Zepar. They become a Zeppelin made out of Animal Fur! Because I'm really too lazy to figure out who any of these people are.

[X] I give Magical Girl Natsuhi Ushiromiya an invitation letter to Smash Bros. as part of the next DLC. This works because whatever this is is a video game, and Smash Bros. loves anime sword fighters. Sure, I don't know Natsuhi is a sword fighter, but even if she isn't, the developers will just find some adjacent weapon that probably almost makes sense.

Natsuhi is compelled away from the battlefield by GOD (Sakurai) and gets banished to the third DLC Wave. But much to her surprise, Natsuhi realizes the third DLC Wave DOESN'T EXIST! So now she's just stuck in some waiting room at Nintendo, where Waluigi tries to murderize her for her invitation letter.

[X] Um... almost out of ideas. I summon Michael Jordan to dunk on the GOATS. Because... I dunno. We already hit the DTG deep lore barrel talking about Waluigi. Why not reference more stuff I don't know!

[X] Alright where was we uhhh fighting OKONOGI ROLL FOR HEART ATTACK! Those of our troops which couldn't reach this battle should be ready to take NAUG's other cities when they spontaneously all lose their leader.

[X 2 Electric Boogaloo] I think you missed my heart attack imposition roll against the CHOGNOID last round. I do that again and then the last attempt triggers and that's TWO heart attacks which is TWICE as deadly plus it has a Type Advantage against beings with exactly two hearts which, as the hybrid of two pieces of furniture Shanon and Kanon(as opposed to their superposition), the CHOGNOID has.

[XIII] HEY JESSICA HERE HAVE A HEART ATTACK BURGER OF HEART ATTACKS we're getting so good at giving people heart attacks that's probably like a +15 by now

[Y]The cloth ribbon things in the image after COLLEGECOLLEGECOLLEGECOLLEGE look like teeth. because this is horror time,they become teeth and begin devouring their wearer.

[Z] Green text is the green truth or possibly not but some people thing it is. Also known as grimoire text, it's meta-level. for all I know this is the wrong shade of green but that's not going to stop me from harvesting all 104 COLLEGE words for use as weaponry, shielding, artillery, and to force everyone bad who isn't Virgilia to go through DOCTOR OF EVERYTHING course, as appropriate. Really, it's disgraceful that the leader of this place is less knowledgable about Doctor Of Everything topics than their subordinate.
(Of course, I replace the ordinary DoE course contents with information about a version of the world which is different in a variety of subtle ways that make any attempts to use the information gained while studying actively detrimental.)
[S] Scan the words, 'CHOGNO' and 'CHOGNOID'. not the entity itself, but what those words mean

[ARR] I debug the code this game isn't actually running on to never have Array out of bounds errors again. How, you ask? Simple! I rewrite all Array-modifying commands in the following ways:
All Arrays are always at the integer limit for slotnumbers both up and down.
all Array-accessing commands convert non-integer inputs into the appropriate integer, or 0 if there is no appropriate integer.
Behaviour which depends on arrays having a fixed size involves a secondary Kayfabe Size which is also tracked for every array. Every other line of code, all Array slots outside of their arrays Kayfabe size are wiped, but the slots still technically exist and so don't cause exceptions.
(And downloaded a billion times more RAM and CPUs so this doesn't crash the world by making everything take a few thousand times more memory.)

[AYYYYYYYY] It is understandably difficult for anything, like Virgilia's countermeasures, to be concealed from me while I am going through the entire codebase and replacing all usage of arrays with my new, unstreamlined, bug-free version. I check the latest edits by author and snip out Virgilia's whatever.

[G]eneric: Unglitched Gunnery, Purified Sister, Glitched Dorfs, and optionally SHOUTER, work together on a single combined roll that attacks our enemy. That's 3-4 rolls and 90+60+15(+15) bonuses(Martial) for a total of 165 (plus an average of 150 from the 3 5d20's). If our enemies can randomly combine rolls from several independent beings additively instead of with the exponential decay which would make sense in this system, like with the Chiesters earlier, then SO CAN WE. And let's clarify- the 'our enemy' being attacked by this roll is One enemy, not several; we want to utterly steamroll for a one-shot. Go for Warlady Jessica Ushiromiya first, wipe her out like a smudge.

[A]

IN PROGRESS

LET'S SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO AUTO-MAKE ABOMINATION FLAMES SINCE I KNOW HOW TO MAKE GENERICS ALREADY
ON THE PLUS SIDE I WON'T NEED TO USE THE CLAMP THING AND MESS WITH LAYER ORDERING BECAUSE THE ABOMINATIONFLAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PURECOLOR ANYWAY




[B] SHOUTER, I HAVE A THEORY TO CHECK. DO YOU HAVE ANY HAIRCLIPPINGS OR SOMETHING YOU CAN SAFELY REMOVE FROM YOURSELF? TOSS THEM INTO THE PURE WATER AND TELL ME IF THEY TURN INTO FLECKS OR MAINTAIN THEIR SHAPE AS HAIR.

[D] hey, I know! Let's run doom on this thing! You can run Doom on anything and this is anything (or possibly nothing but if it's nothing the nothing is running on something) so it can run doom! Doomguy appears, radiating a field which reinterprets reality into a Doom level, and gets to work mowing down baddies.

[I] A