Conscious Glaive 7/8
Pile of Trading Cards 5/5
Pile of Trading Cards || Doctor’s Healing Coat 1/??

I grab an Imp and ADJECTIFY it into Bonely and tossing it over to the Doggo as a snack as well as pets

Originally posted on 2018-06-10 12:58:00

Tin Tube ll Can Opener (1/?)
Tin Tube ++ Soda Can (1/?)

"Oh neat, a rake."

I peak out of my hiding place, which was the ruins of a 2-story house and notice the lawn with some really high grass...

I look at the rake and a light bulb appeared above my head, of course, I pocket the light bulb before it left and get ready to continue searching.

Pulling myself onto the lawn with the rake in hand, I Rake the front lawn to find any more base items to add onto my list of potential weapons.

Originally posted on 2018-06-10 19:00:00

QUOTE (DCCCV @ (time=1528504552))

You do not have a bomb. In fact, you just threw a rock which destroyed an imp and made explosion sounds with your mouth. This is not Destroy The Godmodder. You are not a reality-warping Lynch Mob. Yet. +4 XP

(I'll try to avoid doing that in future, sorry)
Asphalt Stomper (4/8)
Compass (1/11)

I play the drums with my hammers as the stick. But since I couldn't find any drums, I use the substitute of two Imp's heads.
As I beat the enemies, I also say to them "Hey, your heads are hollow enough to work as drums, right?" for a COMBO PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL ASSAULT!

Originally posted on 2018-06-11 05:50:00

Conscious Glaive 8/8
Pile of Trading Cards || Doctor’s Healing Coat 2/??
Conscious Glaive || Paradoxical Harmonious LightDark Bladed Staffwand 1/??

With the Staffwand I cast “MASS PLAYER AND ROBOT HEAL”!!

Originally posted on 2018-06-11 05:55:00

Patriotic Terminal (3/4)
Lawmaker && Lighter (1/?)
I pick up the book and use Book Em because I’m lazy right now.

Originally posted on 2018-06-11 06:02:00

Katana && soul sword replica 5/8
Trading cards && my novel 1/?
I create some glyphs between me and the enemies as a wall, protecting me.

Originally posted on 2018-06-11 11:18:00

ERR: 3/11

I promptly apologize to the Angry Rope who's going through the process of alchemization. From there,I slap an Imp! How dare you stand in our way! That's a thing you should not do! So shoo! Get out of here!

Originally posted on 2018-06-11 11:59:00

PATRIOTIC TERMINAL DONE
Lawmaker && Lighter (2/?)
Cattle Prod || Can Opener (1/?)
I use the patriotic terminal to find the stupidest online posts about America and show them to the imps, making them take damage from their sheer stupidity.

Originally posted on 2018-06-11 16:15:00

> Menu
> Battle Techniques
> SKILLAURA
> lvl 2: Master of Disguise
I Disguise myself as the Doggo, halving the chance that attacks aimed at the Doggo actually hit. I can probably tank the damage.

I pet the Doggo, and invite it to join our side (or at least, for it to leave the UND side).

Originally posted on 2018-06-11 22:31:00

Tin Tube ll Can Opener (2/?)
Tin Tube ++ Soda Can (2/?)

Once I finished raking the lawn of items, I take a look at the fence and noticed it was wire fenced with the cable nearly detaching from the fence itself. Not really sure what else to search, I take some time to cleanly rid of the fence of its wire.

Originally posted on 2018-06-12 04:51:00

Asphalt Stomper (5/8)
Compass (2/11)

After beating in the heads of some imps, a thought occurs to me. Before all these imps are wiped out, let me just try something.
I hit another Imp with the nailmelter and light him on fire, then I GAZE into the fire. Wait, I think I'm seeing something, here...

Originally posted on 2018-06-12 23:38:00

QUOTE (ThatOtherGuy @ (time=1528543456))

menu Battle Techniques: SKILLAURA: lvl 1 CMOFLAG(sic), lvl 2??? MASTER OF DISGUISE CAKES: lvl 1 CELEBRATE!!! Inventory: Knife, Gasblade, GASBLADE, shock pen, Duracell Jacket, P.E Jacket, iArmor prototype, Unlimited Internet Computer, Impknife, google glasses, Cattle Prod, Law knife, Forcefield-of-viewers (forcefield glasses), Armor of the Beast, Bottle of Knife fluid, robot arm Allies: Johnny Fabulous (Duracell Jacket, Cattle Prod) Alchemy: Armor of the Beast || Forcefield-of-viewers = ?? (3/?)dammit, ok. dont see why that wouldnt work, but ok. GASBLADE || impknife = ?? (1/??) Armor of the Beast || Knife Cuirass = ?? (2/??) I take the cake debris, and combine it with one of my normal cakes to make a Super Cake. I save it for later. I put the P.E. Jacket on Johnny Fabulous, making him EVEN MORE FABULOUS. I CMOFLAG(sic).

GASBLADE || impknife = (1/5) Pyromaniac Imp Summoner. This weapon summons an allied Pyromaniac Imp in robes which throws knife fire around for a short time when thrown.

Armor of the Beast || Knife Cuirass = Mozilla Plate (2/8). A suit of full plate armor, which seems to be overflowing with magical energy. Only time can tell what the heck it even does.
You get some SUPER CAKE.
Johnny Fabulous is even bulkier now.

QUOTE (Paradoxdragonpaci @ (time=1528631900))

Conscious Glaive 7/8 Pile of Trading Cards 5/5 Pile of Trading Cards || Doctor’s Healing Coat 1/?? I grab an Imp and ADJECTIFY it into Bonely and tossing it over to the Doggo as a snack as well as pets

Pile of Trading Cards || Doctor’s Healing Coat 1/6 Healing Famous Doctors Trading Cards. Oh, you have Frederick Banting and Alexander Fleming in this collection! Gotta get them all! They can also be consumed to heal someone, but who in their right mind would eat a card with a doctor on it?
One gets CRONCH'D by the DOGGO. It gains +3 HP
+5 XP

QUOTE (Winkins @ (time=1528653643))

Tin Tube ll Can Opener (1/?) Tin Tube ++ Soda Can (1/?) "Oh neat, a rake." I peak out of my hiding place, which was the ruins of a 2-story house and notice the lawn with some really high grass... I look at the rake and a light bulb appeared above my head, of course, I pocket the light bulb before it left and get ready to continue searching. Pulling myself onto the lawn with the rake in hand, I Rake the front lawn to find any more base items to add onto my list of potential weapons.

Tin Tube ll Can Opener (1/4) Giant Cookie Cutter. Careful, it's razor-sharp.
Tin Tube ++ Soda Can (1/11) Carbonation.
ERR, ELEMENTAL ALCHEMIES NOT AVAILABLE YET.
Looks like you need to try doing this later.
You as you do not have the ability to make ideabulbs pop into existence over your head, you do not get a free lightbulb.
You do find a rake, however, but all you find on the lawn is some grass.

QUOTE (Arsenical @ (time=1528692618))

QUOTE (DCCCV @ (time=1528504552)) You do not have a bomb. In fact, you just threw a rock which destroyed an imp and made explosion sounds with your mouth. This is not Destroy The Godmodder. You are not a reality-warping Lynch Mob. Yet. +4 XP (I'll try to avoid doing that in future, sorry) Asphalt Stomper (4/8) Compass (1/11) I play the drums with my hammers as the stick. But since I couldn't find any drums, I use the substitute of two Imp's heads. As I beat the enemies, I also say to them "Hey, your heads are hollow enough to work as drums, right?" for a COMBO PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL ASSAULT!

You Emotionally harm two imps.
2 damage to both of them.
+3 XP

QUOTE (Paradoxdragonpaci @ (time=1528692935))

Conscious Glaive 8/8 Pile of Trading Cards || Doctor’s Healing Coat 2/?? Conscious Glaive || Paradoxical Harmonious LightDark Bladed Staffwand 1/?? With the Staffwand I cast “MASS PLAYER AND ROBOT HEAL”!!

Conscious Glaive || Paradoxical Harmonious LightDark Bladed Staffwand 1/8 Consious Glaive, ERR CODE REPITITION ERROR

QUOTE (Plague126 @ (time=1528693348))

Patriotic Terminal (3/4) Lawmaker && Lighter (1/?) I pick up the book and use Book Em because I’m lazy right now.

Lawmaker && Lighter (1/7) Flamehammer. A Hammer That's on fire. Now we're talking.
You obliterate two imps
+2 XP

QUOTE (JOEbob @ (time=1528712312))

Katana && soul sword replica 5/8 Trading cards && my novel 1/? I create some glyphs between me and the enemies as a wall, protecting me.

Trading cards && my novel 1/4 Novel Character Trading Cards. A deck of high-quality trading cards you can find at any toy store, except they have JOE's Characters, with all their stats on them. If you made a competing deck, you could turn this into a game!
You create a wall of glyphs.

QUOTE (Emerald_Mann @ (time=1528714751))

ERR: 3/11 I promptly apologize to the Angry Rope who's going through the process of alchemization. From there,I slap an Imp! How dare you stand in our way! That's a thing you should not do! So shoo! Get out of here!

You SLAPP the Small Man, dealing 2 damage.
+2 XP
As a note, you can alchemize two things at once.

QUOTE (Plague126 @ (time=1528730134))

PATRIOTIC TERMINAL DONE Lawmaker && Lighter (2/?) Cattle Prod || Can Opener (1/?) I use the patriotic terminal to find the stupidest online posts about America and show them to the imps, making them take damage from their sheer stupidity.

Patriotism Damage hurts a lot. 1 Damage to all Imps!
+3 XP
Cattle Prod || Can Opener (1/6) Tazer Saw. A small circular saw which spins around, shocking your enemies.

QUOTE (ThatOtherGuy @ (time=1528752697))

menu Battle Techniques: SKILLAURA: lvl 1 CMOFLAG(sic), lvl 2??? MASTER OF DISGUISE CAKES: lvl 1 CELEBRATE!!! Inventory: Knife, Gasblade, GASBLADE, shock pen, Duracell Jacket, P.E Jacket, iArmor prototype, Unlimited Internet Computer, Impknife, google glasses, Cattle Prod, Law knife, Forcefield-of-viewers (forcefield glasses), Armor of the Beast, Bottle of Knife fluid, robot arm Allies: Johnny Fabulous (Duracell Jacket, Cattle Prod) Alchemy: GASBLADE && impknife = ?? (1/??) Armor of the Beast || Knife Cuirass = ?? (3/??) > Menu > Battle Techniques > SKILLAURA > lvl 2: Master of Disguise I Disguise myself as the Doggo, halving the chance that attacks aimed at the Doggo actually hit. I can probably tank the damage. I pet the Doggo, and invite it to join our side (or at least, for it to leave the UND side).

GASBLADE && impknife = "Zombie Blade" (1/??). Well, that's new. A knife that turns things that it kills into more knives that turns things it kills into knives, again and again and again and again.
The Doggo eagerly joins your side.

QUOTE (Winkins @ (time=1528775481))

Tin Tube ll Can Opener (2/?) Tin Tube ++ Soda Can (2/?) Once I finished raking the lawn of items, I take a look at the fence and noticed it was wire fenced with the cable nearly detaching from the fence itself. Not really sure what else to search, I take some time to cleanly rid of the fence of its wire.

You're actually not in the suburbs anymore. You're now downtown. How did you rake a lawn downtown? I have no idea. But this game is SBURB, not GHETO.

QUOTE (Arsenical @ (time=1528843107))

Asphalt Stomper (5/8) Compass (2/11) After beating in the heads of some imps, a thought occurs to me. Before all these imps are wiped out, let me just try something. I hit another Imp with the nailmelter and light him on fire, then I GAZE into the fire. Wait, I think I'm seeing something, here...

As you destroy an imp, You look into the flames, and you see... you see....
A white rabbit, which occasionally flashes with green lightning. It then quickly disappears.
Weird.
+3 XP

JOE is now a Glyphnewb. You get the GLYPH MAGIC branch of battle techniques, based around the optimization of Glyph Technology!
Your level 1 Battle Technique is THE BEST DEFENSE. For an action, you may describe an offensive spell which you cast for damage.

TOG is a Ninja. You can now prepare SMOKEBOMBS, which give your allies a dodge chance.

ParadoxDragonPaci is a Medical Assailant.
You gain the DOCTOR, DOCTOR branch of battletechniques, based around field medic work!
Your Battletechnique is EMERGENCY TRANSFUSION, which steals some of an enemy's HP to give to an ally!

Emerald is a Moongazer.
Your Battle Technique is SPRING A LEAK. For some reason, you have the unnatural ability to find pipes underground, and you always know where to strike to send a jet of fast-moving water into the faces of your enemies.

Arsenical is now a Smorcerer.
Your Battle Technique is FIREBREATH. You know how to perform firebreathing stunts. Use it wisely.

FeatheredDragon is now an Upstart Startup.
Your Branch is MONEY IS IT'S OWN SUPERPOWER. You have recently become absurdly rich, and now you can do anything with it.
Your first technique is GREENBACKED. Use your money to create forts out of cash to improve the AC of one of your allies.
Your second technique is IMPROVED MISERY. You can throw money at your problems to make them go away.

Winkins is a Parcourier.
Your Branch is BMX BANDITRY. Not as good as Angel Summoning, but hey, you can do sweet bike tricks.
WHEELIE COOL DISARM, the ability to knock weapons out of the hands of your enemies. If they don't have any weapons, you literally just cut their arms off.

EOTB
Your robots and allies kill off the rest of the Imps, and it's time to get a move on. You move through the countryside, when you come across a collection of scarecrows with crows on them. But these aren't actually scarecrows, these are Liches!

[UND] Lich 25/25 HP. x9.
[UND] Crow Storm 60/60. Bodyguarding Liches.
[UND] Corny Ogre 30/30 HP.
[UND] Sunburnt Ogre 30/30 HP.
[UND] Ogre hiding inside a barn 30/30 HP. 3 AC.

[SNA] Angry Rope 5/5.
[SAM] A Samurai 14/20 HP. 3 AC. Dissapears in 2 rounds, unless you give him money.

[PLA] Plague126 15/20 HP. 1 AC NUCLEARIZE 3/10
[PLA] JoeBOB 12/20 HP. 2 AC. Getting Attacked Reflects 2 Damage back at attacker.
[PLA] DOGGO that's totally not ThatOtherGuy 12/20 HP. 4 AC.
[PLA] Paradoxdragonpaci 12/20 HP. 1 AC. Fireproof!
[PLA] FeatheredDragon 11/20 HP.
[PLA] Arsenical 16/20 HP. HP regen 1!
[RBT] Johnny 5 5/10 HP, 2 AC. Is Alive. REGENERATING 2 HP a round for 2 rounds!
[RBT] 5J 7/12 HP, 2 AC. Ready to Rumble.
[RBT] Johnny Fabulous 10/10 HP. 3 AC. Wearing a Jacket and Armed with a Cattle Prod!
[RBT] Judge 5 10/10 HP, 3 AC. Wielding the Lawknife!
[DOG] DOGGO 10/40 HP. Nuclear.

Originally posted on 2018-06-16 03:30:00

I hand flamingFlapjacks the iArmor prototype and google glasses, because they probably like being alive. I toss Plague the gasblade to use however he pleases (mainly when booking 'em).
If I can, I stick the Forcefield Glasses on Johnny Fabulous.

I slide on over to the barn, cool as ice, a vaguely cigarette-shaped item in between my teeth and a lighter in my hand. With a click, the flames are alive. Of course, I don't light the fake cigar because that would be stupid. Instead, I light a second lighter. From this one bursts not a small flame but a comically oversize knife. I hold the sharpened iron over the fire until its red, and then white-hot.
Hopefully, having heated the GASBLADE like this will allow it a temporary increase in armor penetration, allowing it to cut through AC like a HOT KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER.

Originally posted on 2018-06-16 04:15:00

/Placeholder

Originally posted on 2018-06-17 03:11:00

Katana && soul sword replica 6/8
Trading cards && my novel 2/?

I see if I can create liquid glyphs with my chestplate so I can refill the glyph lighter.

Originally posted on 2018-06-17 20:11:00

"Hate to cut in like this, but the door was locked"
I use the heated GASBLADE to cut past the Barn Ogre's Armor (and no, I don't care that its armor is literally a barn) and into his flesh, in the most horrific way imaginable.
"Knife to meet'ya, though."

Originally posted on 2018-06-17 21:29:00

Asphalt Stomper (6/8)
Compass (3/11)

Crows! My worst enemy. Not only regular crows, either, an outright Storm of them! Storm Crows! There's only one way to deal with these.

Using the clothes we found a while ago, as well as several other unused items we're carrying on us, I assemble a haphazard ACTUAL SCARECROW to scare away the crows, or at least some of them.


Originally posted on 2018-06-18 05:30:00

I think I'm gonna join this.
I alchemize Cell Phone && Clothes
I then proceed to be the other guy, and proceed to cluck foolishly like a chicken. Good thing no one's watching, I look ridiculous!

Originally posted on 2018-06-23 02:14:00

Flamehammer (3/7)
Taser Saw (2/6)
I use the Lawmaker to savagely poke imps.

Originally posted on 2018-06-24 21:54:00

Katana && soul sword replica 7/8
Trading cards && my novel 3/4
I cut myself on my left arm with glyph-formed funnel of force, extracting a bunch of blood which i put in a cup or some such, before healing my wound.
Cup of blood get! or possibly cup of joe's blood.

Originally posted on 2018-06-24 22:09:00