Destroy The Godmodder

And likely ablative meat shield. Those also have to be taken into account.

Or maybe we could preform a Deus Ex Machina! But what kind...?

I construct a powerful shield, as Jojo basically beckons the Sues for him with his ANGRY EYES

Seriously, everyone's disappearing for the final fight. At this rate, you guys are gonna lose. Like, actually honest to goodness lose.

To the sparklepires no less.

Q&A: @tartar: That would appear to be the case, yes. @amp: don't get cocky. @trip: I'll leave that to you guys. Although Chekhov's Gunman would work better in this case.

.

engie approaches the god mode sues, and before they can do anything Consumes one of them. Before he can get to the other two, they teleport themselves away with their special powers. Wolfarc puts on inspirational music, increasing the attack power of all the AGs. Jondanger invites two sparklepires to brunch, and then explodes both of them when they accept. You cruel, cruel man. Pieces of the two hit a third, and knock him off the hill.

Amp opens fire with his fusion lance, but Edward is suddenly gone, his super-human speed taking effect. He dashes around, 5 of the standard sues getting incinerated by the wave of energy, but Edward himself slams into Amp before he can reload, smashing him right out of his armor and across the ground at high speed where he plummets into shiny’s pit trap. He’s followed by another standard sue, which he brutally murders.

Dimentio begins convincing a few of the lesser mary sues to help him, but one of the Mary Tzus anticipates exactly what he is thinking, and shoves a sword through his chest! Pillow dashes over to Renesmee and is about to slam a helmet down on her head, only for Jacob to smash into him in wolf form, trying to rip out his throat. Edward laughs. “Your plot armor doesn’t protect you here. We’ve been stripped of our godhood, nothing is balancing this in your favor.”

And then herobrine does something awesome. The sword of the promised memes merges with the Laittlecruiser to form the giant mecha, the Helm of the Tropes. It has an entirely new spec list, and has unfortunately lost the ability to spawn lesser vehicles, but it is quite the behemoth. Spec list will come below the world status. Tabbune unleashes a wave-motion lightning gun, but one of the black hole sues makes it all about her, and the entire thing chains back to her… she dies of course.

Hyena produces a mirror, showing the sues the thing they least want to admit. 5 of the standard sues run crying off the edge of a cliff. Spino lets loose a loud roar of rage and charges straight at Edward Cullen, only to get an elbow in his gut, followed by a judo flip and a fist in his stomach. Tartar suddenly realizes that Edward has the universal reset button, and charges at him with Sandiego, only to get knocked down by Rosalie and Alice. Tabbune constructs a powerful shield, only for the god-mode sues to break it down with a god laser.

The mary sues zerg rush the group, the Mary Tzus predicting every move, the black hole sues diverting all the counter attacks, the sparklepires distracting everyone with their extreme annoyingness, and the godmode sues just wreaking havoc. And then the Helm of the Tropes lands. A massive barrage of weaponry sprays out of it, killing/chasing off the rest of the standard sues.

The Cullen family is pushed back to the edge, supported only by their elite guard. Carmen Sandiego is about to dash forward to try and take the universal reset button when there is a yellow blur. Carmen is suddenly slammed backwards by an electric blast, and suddenly appearing on the ground behind the Cullens… is Sonichu, holding Aghanim’s scepter. Again. Guess we aren’t done with that yet. He hands it over to Edward, who laughs evilly, although whatever upgrade it’s given him, it isn’t immediately obvious...

.

The Battlefield

Pursuing: 4 rounds

The Anti-Monitor [PG]

Pursuing: 3 rounds

Goku, Arceus, Sora [AG]

Pursuing: 2 rounds

The Godmodder: Hp:1/100

Pursuing: 1 round

The Leviathan [AG]

The Hill

Edward Cullen [PG] Aghanim's scepter

Bella [PG] Renesmee [PG] Jacob Black [PG] Alice Cullen [PG] Rosalie Hale [PG] Sonichu [PG]

Sparklepires x10 [PG] God-Mode Sues x2 [PG] Mary Tzus x3 [PG] Black Hole Sues x2 [PG]

The Helm of the Tropes [AG]: Hp: 3000000/3000000. Energy: Me/Me. Relish Nuke: 2/4.

Carmen Sandiego [AG]

pillow [P] The Terrarian [A]

.

The Helm of the Tropes: a behemoth-class battlecrusier with a few modifications Health: 3,000,000

Lazor Cannon: a massive blast carrying the weight of every meme laser in existence.

MOAR DAKKA!!! fires an enormous stream of bullets and missiles of all kinds.

Matrix Duck: The absolutely enormous battleship goes into bullet time, dodging almost all attacks aimed at it.

Gigadrill: The drill that pierces the heavens.

Perfect cliche storm: every meme and cliche in the internet rages in a small area. Potentially devastating, destroys Helm of the Tropes in the process.

edited 13th Jul '15 2:59:19 PM by pionoplayer

I'm actually HERE...I think... Or am I there? Oh well, I'm somewhere.

In any case, my face contorts when the Sparklepires appear.

By the Gods...Those fools!

I write rapidly in my notepad, attempting to force them to Praise The Sun.

edited 13th Jul '15 4:12:32 PM by Wolfarc732

"Cocky? Me? Perish the thought!"

Amperzand suddenly charges the entire Mary Sue Army with nothing but a handgun and a combat knife, apparently in full expectation of victory.

Gotta go fast! I then throw a javelin into Sonichu's chest at Mach 484329752537893798237528923732589735298235723592379523598.

Fairly sure that's a hyperluminal ram weapon you just created. Totally impossible, by the way. Which is not to say I don't support its use here.

Initiating combo attack.

With the power of the elements...

I move to Ed Cullen, and attack him with my gem-blade. An explosion of fire, ice and lightning bursts out from the point of impact and deals minor splash damage to all PGs nearby.

edited 13th Jul '15 4:11:53 PM by Tabbune

I pull out a mirror that shows a flawed version of whoever is reflected in it, and force some of the nearest Mary Sue's to look at it.

One advantage of not believing oneself to be perfect? The ability to accept the flaws in... well, pretty much anything. At least, to a pretty good extent.

I desperately use my terrarian to get Jacob off me. With all my fish gone I'm useless as a fighter mainly. But if He trys to kill me then I kill him. I take out my mega shark and a stack of silver bullets and go crazy on him. Of course I have a megashark, it is a fish themed weapon after all.

And then I eat him.

> Sorry about my inactivity, but I had to prepare a end-game failsafe code for when things go wrong.

> Heh. Mary Sues. I counter-sue them by... well... suing them. I then Proceed to activate a contraption that traps the black hole sues into a white hole.

edited 13th Jul '15 8:27:41 PM by Augmentor-5L1

^{Plot Relevant Monologue.} No. Oh no.

No. I cannot allow this to become dramatic. I cannot. If that happens, I'll be Killed Off for Real.

But wait...if I try to die in the most humiliating manner possible... all the Mary Sues I've won over will feel betrayed. I'll be slaughtered either way. Morton's Fork.

I need a plan. I NEED A PLAN, DAMMIT!!! GAH! I didn't come back from a smelly old bus just to have my last contribution be an old Bill Murray from forever ago!

Wait...WAIT! SUMMON! Yes! YES!!!

SPLIT PERSONALITY!!!

Perhaps we can't create any more charges. And perhaps we can't summon anything drastic. But who ever said anything about inside my head?

I think by now you've realized I'm not exactly normal. My brain does not follow any petty laws of physics, nor any 'Euclidean Geometries'. It does what it wants, when it wants. But usually, it's confined to itself.

Usually.

Occasionally, however, it can manage to leak out. To infect the world around me. This world...this game...this is one such example. But it isn't enough.

Heh. Heh heh heh.

Or is it?

Within the confines of my own orderless cortex, I begin reimagining PARDISPRITE 2.0. With its help, I'll be able to die in a way that is both extremely humiliating and doesn't disapoint the Sues. With two actors in one body, what can possibly go wrong?

200/1000. The end of the world is closer than the end of summer...

edited 13th Jul '15 9:22:55 PM by Dimentiosome

I lay on the floor for a minute after I just got my butt handed to me by Edward freaking Cullen. "Why am I still fighting? Oh, yeah. I'm a good person at heart."

After getting over my fit of self loathing, I gradually get to my feet and see... Sonichu.

What the hell...

Whatever, I'm just rolling with it. Now that my mind is clear of most rage, I understand we need that reset button. But how?

I make a mad dash for the reset button. It cannot- will not- reamain in a PG's hand.

Hey wait so, I don't really know what I'm doing here other than killing sparklepires and everything they ever cared about, plus I'm in-character as a batshit insane berserker with more guns than brain cells and enough armor to not need to care, but if anyone wants to say what I- and presumably a number of others similarly acting on principle -should actually be doing, go ahead. I'll do the thing.

Possibly I should clarify. Amp has a normal number of brain cells, if not very reliable ones, there are just that many guns.

II remind the "twipires" that they became an internet Hate Sink just as soon as they became popular on earth, in part because they were popular there, and the logical extension, which is that if more people love them, more people will hate them.

edited 14th Jul '15 7:24:10 AM by The_Hyena_King

I'm never going to be able to return to this DTG for the next 2 months. So assuming i'm still on the battlefield, I take the remaining things in my squad and to a kamikaze charge into the hoard of "Sues". Except i'll donate the drill aircrafts to anyone who wants them

"All aboard the Hype train!"

Diving into the cockpit of the Helm, the mecha grabs the sword which morphs into a pink unicorn. Moonwalking at ludicrous speeds backwards, the Helm begins blowing apart sues everywhich way and where with a combination beam of rainbows, justin beiber, and trigger warnings.

Activating MOAR DAKKA, the Helm of the tropes goes complete Bullet Hell on every single sue on the battlefield, becoming a mech of mass extermination.

FOCUS ON THE ROYAL FAMILY AND KICK THEIR ROYAL ASSES SO HARD, THEIR ENTIRE RACE DIES!

edited 14th Jul '15 10:24:15 AM by LordHerobrine

"TO HELL WITH STRATEGY, I'M AN ELDRITCH ABOMINATION"

Cue me smashing through the Mary Tzu's in the least tactical manner possible - moving fast at them.

Alright, back from... taking care of something.

...I have no idea what a sparklepire is, but I take care of one of them.

edited 14th Jul '15 1:03:42 PM by fseftr

Q&A: @dimentio: Or you could survive past the end and have a character available should you decide to join in a DTG game again. @coolstar: Okay then. I'll see you round then.

.

Wolfarc forces several of the sparklepires to praise the sun. They begin to sparkle, and this enrages Edward so much that he rips two of them apart. Amp charges the mary sue army in full expectation of victory, and gets one of the mary tzus who didn’t expect it before being bowled over by Sonichu, before Sonichu gets a javelin thrown through his chest at absolutely insane speeds. Ludicrous Gibs. Everyone that isn’t a Suetopian applauds.

Tabbune jumps at Edward Cullen, but suddenly he’s behind tabbune.    foolish mortal. I’ve reascended. This staff was just what I needed.    he slams his foot into tabbune’s back, sending him tumbling through the air. Shiny pulls out a mirror that reflects everyone’s flaws… and several of the sparklepires freak out when they see themselves reflecting! 2 sparklepires abandon ship. Pillow smashes the terrarian into Jacob. Jacob stumbles back after a few hits, and then is gunned down by a mega shark loaded with silver bullets. And then Renesmee charges pillow, snapping the Terrarian in two, and attempting to attack his mind.

Augmentor somehow traps a black hole sue in a white hole, and the raw contradiction of being able to do that kills the sue. Spino charges Edward Cullen again as Cullen laughs over the fallen tabbune, but he whirls around and backhands Spino across the ground. The hyena king’s logic bomb breaks the minds of two of the weaker-minded sparklepires. Coolstar and his army of cartoon warriors suddenly crest the top of the hill, having somehow made it through the army of sues on their own, only a few elites are left, but in their charge they manage to take down one of the god mode sues and a sparklepire.

The Helm of the Trope begins moonwalking backwards, tearing a swath right through the forces of the Sues, when the final godmode sue unleashes a massive energy beam that slams into the massive bot, dealing 500000 damage before getting obliterated by the massive storm of dakka. 2 of the remaining sparklepires are killed in the bullet storm. Engie charges straight at the Mary tzus, one of them doesn’t expect it, and is killed, but the other blocks with an anti-universe eater blade…? Huh? Somehow it blocks engie’s attack.

The fight is going well, when suddenly chunks are being blown out of the Helm of the Tropes. Everyone turns around to see a small army of mutant mobs rising over the ledge of the hill, accompanied by several mutant enderdragons and mutant withers… and then the Leviathan arrives. The mutant bosses manage to get out of the way, but the Leviathan completely rips up the rest of the mutant mobs.

.

The Battlefield

Pursuing: 3 rounds

The Anti-Monitor [PG]

Pursuing: 2 rounds

Goku, Arceus, Sora [AG]

Pursuing: 1 round

The Godmodder: Hp:1/100

The Hill

Edward Cullen [PG] Aghanim’s scepter

Bella [PG] Renesmee [PG] Alice Cullen [PG] Rosalie Hale [PG]

Mary Tzu [PG] Black Hole Sue [PG] Mutant Enderdragons x3 [PG] Mutant Withers x10 [PG]

The Leviathan [AG]

The Helm of the Tropes [AG]: Hp: 2250000/3000000. Energy: Me/Me. Relish Nuke: 3/4.

Carmen Sandiego [AG]

edited 14th Jul '15 2:34:01 PM by pionoplayer

It's not working... It's...not...   working...   

I am currently falling into madness from both the sheer pain of being stabbed and falling too far within my own mind. This isn't exactly good.

Be that as it may, with all the adrenaline now pumping through my system, I wrench the bloodstained blade out of my stomach, push the Sues out of the way and dart for Edward. Would I be okay if he bites me? Eh, only one way to find out, I guess.

200/1000 It's getting closer...

I throw 100 of every TF 2 comic in a physical form at Rosalie Hale.

I teleport to the enemies, transform into Feral Chaos, and begin violently slashing every enemy in my path. Sorry I'm late, but I had other things that I had to do. I'm back now.

edited 14th Jul '15 3:54:26 PM by InfinityRyujin

After I have skidded acros the ground, I get to my hands and knees. I spit out half a tooth and some blood before curling my hands up into fists.

No... I am not this useless. I will not be some vampire-wannabe who-couldn't-act-to-save-his-worthless-life's chew toy.

Pulling out the last of my Fear Gas, I jump onto Cullen's back before smashing the canister in his face. I will then most likely get thrown off in an undignified heap.

edited 15th Jul '15 1:24:23 PM by TheSpinoGuy