Destroy The Godmodder

The idols are having a squabble with the local Culture Police. 6/8

The enchanters adds runes, chants, and catalysts pertaining to their gumiho/dragon slayer/dragon king/giant fuckoff rock. 6/10

Meanwhile, I drink some pepsi.

edited 5th May '14 6:02:31 PM by ArmoredFury

This Looks Like a Job for Aquaman! Specifically, I summon DCAU!Aquaman to fight the Terror Kraken. This is the one who:

• Comes with all the Required Secondary Powers, as evidenced by fighting Wonder Woman to a draw while on dry land, before taking the fight underwater; replacing Superman in the Justice League in a Bad Future; and singlehandedly took on and defeated an entire army from an alternate dimension.
• Hacked off his own hand to save his infant son and himself from death via the currently-erupting underwater volcano they were chained to the bottom of, replaced said hand with a goddamn harpoon, and ultimately killed his own brother for orchestrating the whole ordeal.
• Doesn't just communicate with, but commands ALL creatures of the deep. He used a whale to destroy a submarine, and rode his own personal Kraken into battle against Solomon Grundy.
• Is the ruling, not exiled, king of Atlantis, the most advanced and powerful civilization on Earth, in-universe.

Charges:

Stars – 7/33

Level i Flare – 7/150

I assist with Dreig's Gensokyo Portal. 18/20

edited 5th May '14 5:38:26 PM by TheAirman

Yay! You're back! Can't wait to see that Pi charge!

I attempt to go back in time to 2 turns ago, so as to:

1: Create a paradox which will probably screw us all over but that includes the godmodder. Man I hate that guy.

2: Retroactively raise the 'epic plan' charge from 1 (on hold) to n+1 (I'll explain later. I mean, if I were to have made progress from when it started, at this point it'd be 3(?))

3: Hopefully kill Dimentio here.

___________

Current (past future (yeah, no crap)) charges:

Herobrine: 8/20

Epic Plan: 1/15 (on hold)

___________

Past charges:

Herobrine: 6/20

Epic Plan: 1/15 (not yet (and possibly never) on hold)

___________

In case you're wondering, yes, I am trying to make this as confusing as possible.

edited 6th May '14 11:45:05 AM by Dimentiosome

Q&A: yes Dreig, 1 gem for 1000 health will work as well. Rough algorithm (x being number of gems spent) would be health restored is equal to 500*(x+1)*x. Also, dimentio, if you think that's confusing, try reading Homestuck.

Dreig begins sewing an outfit! The suspense is incredible! Jon releases an anti-matter bomb, dealing 1500 damage to the cosmic monolith. Oops. Then the monolith uses its overcharge... summoning a massive cosmic dragon! For one attack. In a spectacular failure to remember the general rules of The GM Is a Cheating Bastard that rules destroy the godmodder, omega completely fails to aim the attack, which destroys the pink bulb, the cosmic monolith, and deals 2000 damage to the [OLAC] tank. Then Plantera shows up.

Ichigo finally finishes charging his really big cannon and deals a whopping 10000 damage to the kraken. Artorias also shows up, preparing to attack the godmodder, with a small regeneration buff provided. Fury sits back and watches the destruction, drinking his ice-cold pepsi. airman prepares to one-post summon aquaman before the GM stops him and points out that the situation is bad enough already, does he really want to follow through with this?

Dimentio goes back in time, creating a paradox... But due to said paradox reducing his charge time, he fails to raise his charge level. Dimentio also seems to have left the tvtropes forums, huh. There is now a very big paradox on the field.

.

Battlefield:

Artorias heals for 500, but since he has no overheal capabilities, he goes back down to 8000 hit points. The [OLAC] tank opens fire on one of the tentacles, dealing 3500 damage. Artorias throws some Abyss corruption, but it is sucked into the paradox before it hits the godmodder. The subreddit begins a flame war, and since plants are flammable, Plantera takes 5000 damage.

The kraken tentacles flail forwards, but the weaker of the two makes contact with the paradox and shatters into a cloud of black smoke, the other connects with Artorias, dealing 750 damage. Plantera attacks the [OLAC] dealing 1500 damage, and the kraken summons two more tentacles.

The godmodder is about to act when... a bolt of black energy shoots out of the paradox, disrupting his attack for the round. The paradox suddenly pulses, sending out ripples in the fabric of reality, dealing 5000 damage to the kraken, 2250 damage to Artorias, and frightening another subreddit follower into leaving.

.

Godmodder [GM]: Hp: 91/100

Enraged Terror Kraken [PG]: Hp: 10000/50000

kraken tentacle [PG]: Hp: 5000/5000

kraken tentacle [PG]: Hp: 5000/5000

kraken tentacle [PG]: Hp: 5000/5000

very big paradox [???]: Hp: ???/???

Plantera [PG]: Hp: 15000/20000

Artorias [AG]: Hp: 5000/8000 [autoheal: 500 x4]

MAASTRC-US [AG]: Hp: 9500/15000

weaponized subreddit [AG]: Followers: 20/25

edited 6th May '14 7:20:40 AM by pionoplayer

Seeing that the MAASTRC-US is taking damage, I order some of the engineers to perform emergency repairs.

A goddamned battleship emerges out of a portal and looms over the battlefield. A squad of gaudily painted mechs is deployed from the ship, though they take no action. 7/8

The clashing effects of the enchanter's rituals produces a rather intense mana field around them. Not that they notice since they're too pissed off with each other. 7/10

edited 6th May '14 7:31:11 AM by ArmoredFury

Fffff...

"I CAN SEE YOU BEHIND YOUR GLASS SCREEN, GAMEMASTER! YOU ARE NOT SAFE!"

I go to strangle the GM for a bit.

Meanwhile, my troops are on standby.

I do read Homestuck. One of my main goals in life is to make something more confusing than that. also something better than that stupid Divergent movie. Ugh.

I'll see if I can do anything about the monolith. I'm in the past right now, so I can probably make sure past you aims properly.

____________________________________

I summon Steve? to use the TARDIS (in the past, before Dimentio steals it. This creates an alternate timeline). This may not help with the charge, but it'll make the epic plan no longer on hold.

Steve? is about to bring the Epic Plan charge to 2 in 1 turn (from my (current(past future)) perspective, 3 from past), when suddenly...

PRESENT (past future) DIMENTIO SHOWS UP, PLUGGED INTO THE TARDIS' POWER SUPPLY!!!!!

I send Steve? off into the future (so technically current (past future) past) to resume the epic plan.

I jump on normal (as in, past (as in, 2 turns ago (as in, 2 turns ago.)))Dimentio to engage in a ' Mario And Luigi Partners In Time ' -esque battle.

Past Thomas* and Current (past future) Thomas*

____________VS._____________

Past Dimentio and Alternate Timeline Current (past future) Dimardis (Die-mARDIS)

Ooooookay. Beating Homestuck yet?

So, I use a b— OH COME ON!!!! GOING One-Winged Angel ALREADY!!!???

'Music goes from this to this, then this.'

(BTW, this is all 2 turns ago, but far away from the main battlefield.)

*You can just refer to my profile as 'Thomas'. Calling 4 seperate guys 'Dimentio' might get confusing.

Yeah, I should be at school, but I'm pretty sick. D:

___________________

Current (past future) charges:

Herobrine: 9/20

Epic Plan: 2/15 (no longer on hold!!!! Yay!!!)

___________________

Past charges:

Herobrine: 7/20

Epic Plan: 1/15 (still on hold because of the paradox, but Steve? in the future will help (see present (past future) charges).

___________________

This is stupid. And long.

edited 6th May '14 12:29:13 PM by Dimentiosome

I stare the GM dead in the eyes and coldly declare "I regret nothing." DCAU!Aquaman is summoned into battle.

Stars: 8/33

Level i Flare: 8/150

I help Fury's enchanters: 8/10

edited 6th May '14 10:38:02 AM by TheAirman

I finish my outfit, and hide it somewhere unknown. I also finish my Spell Card.

As I begin the final recitation, the ground starts to shake and a large area of space begins to warp.

Gensokyo portal: 19/20!

Gems: 2

Satisfied that I was able to damage the kraken, I assist Fury by throwing a splash potion on the MAASTRC-US. I then pull out an RPG and fire it at the kraken, hoping that my chance to direct the cannon's fully charged wrath at the godmodder will come soon.

Eddie Kingston whips Tofiga into ropes but the giant reverses it. Triple H tags Kingston without either man's knowledge though so as Eddie rebounds into what is sure to be a grand belly to belly suplex, Triple H sneaks up behind Tofia and punches him between the balls. Unfortunately, as soon as the Tofiga lets go, Eddie Kingston tries to hit him with the back fist to the future. The giant falls to his knees on account of his balls, causing Triple H to take the hit instead. Outraged at the sudden loss of their lover, Shawn Michaels hits Eddie with sweet chin music before Chyna power bombs him. The still down Tofiga rolls over to get the pin for the Gulak campaign...but it appears both men's shoulder were down.

At this moment I notice the heavy breath of Triple H on my back, forget that the future is now!

Rounds left until Triple H buries the top guy 4/5.

I summon The Twins, The Twins of course being Spazmatism and Retinazer.

Missile Status:

7/15

edited 6th May '14 2:25:29 PM by Jondanger23

hurryuphurryuphurryup!!! I already know what my next turn will be!!!! It'll be AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

edited 6th May '14 2:27:05 PM by Dimentiosome

Mystery Summon 2/20

I fire cannons at the Kraken

The subreddit summons a Doge flurry at the kraken

Artorias attempts a flipping jump-attack, as I throw knives.

I use my magic powers to open a portal between the earths mantle and the sky above the gm.

I can tell you already, bub. Not gonna work.

Q&A: Okay dimentio, don't be impatient, I only get to update once a day.

Fury begins repairs on the [OLAC] tank, repairing 750 damage. Omega attempts to strangle the GM, excuse me for a second fellas.

There, finished. Wouldn't have taken as long, but it seems the tvtropes forum doesn't accept splits. I really wish this site allowed text formatting. Dimentio continues trying to screw everyone up with his time-travel thing (nope, not beating homestuck, let alone the stuff I come up with on a regular basis). None of it seems to matter though since Dimentio suddenly realizes that the past Dimentio is actually current past alternate Dimentio, and the real one is still nowhere to be found.

Aquaman is summoned to the battlefield... as a PG. I warned you... The ground begins to shake, and another space-warp begins, fortunately this one is probably friendly. Ichigo, for some reason, holds off on blowing the kraken into oblivion, instead dealing 500 damage with a rocket launcher and healing the [OLAC] for the same amount.

Everyone watches with great amusement as indirect's characters continually and pointlessly pound on each other. Jon prepares to summon the Twins, and is once again stopped by the GM who is really getting tired of stupid one-post summons. "When I said that I might need to find some tricks, that wasn't a cue for all of you to start feeding the godmodder high-level entities, you guys are getting dangerously close to actually being at a severe disadvantage instead of a minor one."

Earl fires cannons at the kraken for 1000 damage, trip throws knives at iamnotusingaseriousaccountorsomethinglikethat causing his attack to fail, and Artorias and the subreddit both are directed to attack.

.

Battlefield:

Artorias heals for 500 hitpoints, then him and the subreddit open fire on the kraken. sushi anyone? The kraken and all of its tentacles sink to the bottom of the ocean. The [OLAC] opens fire, but its shots are diverted to the paradox and miss.

Aquaman attempts to revive the giant squid, but his attempt is heavily distorted by the paradox and fails. Plantera however successfully deals 3000 damage to the [OLAC] tank.

The paradox begins growing... it induces a waking nightmare in two of the subreddit followers, and a third decides things are getting too freaky, and they all leave. The paradox sends out tendrils of darkness, two attacks next round will fail automatically.

The godmodder appears to still be out for the count.

.

Godmodder [GM]: Hp: 91/100 [out cold]

Aquaman [PG]: Hp: 15000/15000

very big paradox [???]: Hp: ???/???

Plantera [PG]: Hp: 15000/20000

Artorias [AG]: Hp: 5500/8000 [autoheal: 500 x3]

MAASTRC-US [AG]: Hp: 7750/15000

weaponized subreddit [AG]: Followers: 17/25

edited 7th May '14 8:40:29 AM by pionoplayer

The battleship projects about two dozen colored spotlights as the center compartment opens, revealing an elaborate stage with twelve girls standing on it.

Aitakatta, aitakatta, aitakatta, yes!

8/8

That's right, the AKB0048 is here! For the next few turns, they will inspire the Anti-Godmodders to fight harder than before!

Meanwhile, the sudden influx of magical energy from Airman causes the mana field to detonate, leaving a rather large crater with an ominous crimson cloud covering it. The enchanters are alright, though. 9/10

I mix a bottle of Vytautas, Powerthirst, and raw gasoline then shoves it down the MAASTRC-US' fuel tank, buffing and healing it slightly.

3/20 Location of summon still pending

I take out a cartoonishly huge hammer and smash Plantera into the ground with it.

The Subreddit trends videos of the godawful Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis video game, and use them to attack Aquaman.

And please guys, can it with the instant summons. These are just as likely to turn on us as they are to help us.

With the Kraken out of the picture, I begin targeting the godmodder with my laser artillery and charging the cannon to its maximum level of firepower. Snapping my fingers, I call my goblins to me. I order the warlocks to begin summoning Sauron and for the engineers to help Fury repair the MAASTRC-US. As the goblins carry out their respective orders and the cannon charges, I draw my holy sword and throw it at Aquaman.

Charges: 1/7

Summoning: 1/4

Triple H grabs and lifts me by the shirt, demanding to know what is happening. Even though he is not that much taller than me, manipulative camera angles have left me helpless. I explain that his team drew the Gulak campaign and he begins to shake me in anger, screaming about why he did not go over. "A...talented...young...ripe...for...pinning" I try to say and Triple H seems to get the point, taking a whiff with his giant nose and zeroing in on the stench of someone else's success, godmodder's.

3/5, misfire! Using the magic of Offscreen Teleportation Triple H appears with his hand on top of the godmodder's shoulder, demanding that I "count it". So I slap the ground, 1-2-3 (this does no damage to the godmodder, but the prestige of the WWE championship has been restored, since Young Triple H will grow into old Triple H, who will be beaten by Daniel Bryan, who will go on to win the WWE championship later that night. Just as Planned) Triple H begins to cut a promo but he disappears before he can start, as does his tank and the traumatized 3G.

Drew Gulak pins Jimmy Jacobs in spite of White Magic's attempts to interfere. The Colony then reveals that while the rudo groups were fighting, they released the Swamp monster and undid all the damage White Magic did to time and space, returning everyone to their proper place...The Global Green Gangsters do not seem to be doing so well though...

I toss a rock. Yeah.

Missile Status:

8/15

I start making anti GM killbots with no antenna or external dataports. 1/5

edited 7th May '14 1:29:59 PM by iamnotausername

I get back from strangling the GM, and I tell my mooks to prepare for Orbital Insertion — Steel Rain style.

Interstellar Polygalatic Badass Army— 1/6

edited 7th May '14 2:22:50 PM by OmegaShadowcry