A stage has been set. Hundreds of seats stretch out in front, behind, and to the sides of you. Where is this place? Wherever you are, you have a feeling that it isn’t really canon. Everyone that you adventured through the Mindscape with, from the most minor of players to the biggest playmakers, are sitting with you, in your row of chairs. Around you are most of the Mindscape’s denizens; small, humble creatures like the Glitch Zombie, to the terrifying and unholy Telltale Heart. Everyone’s dressed up for the occasion, too; everyone’s wearing a suit and tie or maybe a dress… and so have the monsters around you, too.

A familiar tune fills the air; kinda ragtime, show businessy stuff. Chloe’s voice echoes through the air.

ga: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, heroes and monsters…
ga: It is my pleasure to introduce the second annual Chaos Awards!

A chorus of applauding hands fills the air as two vibrant red curtains part. Taking center stage is Chloe Elem herself, dressed in a elaborate blue gemstone dress, her natural flames illuminating the gems. Beside her is Marron… who hasn’t dressed up for the occasion at all. Both girls are holding mics in their hands.

ga: I'm Chloe Elem, and this is my co-host, Marron!
tc: Hi. I'm not here because I want to, but because Chaos forced me to.
tc: Also, I have a last name now, damn it! Name's Marron Needleworker... apparently.
ga: ...Since when did you get a last name?
tc: Last night, basically.
ga: ...Huh. Weren't you meant to dress up nicely, too?
tc: Yeah. I was.
tc: But... I didn't really care. And I still don't.
ga: ...
tc: Deal with it.
ga: A-Anyway...
ga: Before we begin, I'd like to invite Chaos over to the stage to say a few words!
ga: Give it up for... Chaos!
tc: Or don't. He probably doesn't deserve it.

Everyone applauds as Chaos takes centre stage. Both Chloe and Marron leave stage right, with Chloe passing her mic to Chaos on the way out. The lights dim. A spotlight is focused onto Chaos from above, manned by a few Temmies. Chaos has duct-taped a bow tie to his head.

cc: sup.
cc: i'd like (t)o give ©redi(t) (t)o a bun©h of people
cc: ...(t)ha(t)'s righ(t). flawless way (t)o segway to ©redi(t)s. amazing, righ(t)?
cc: anyway...

cc: firs(t), i'd like (t)o give (t)hanks (t)o (t)he gm, whoever (t)he hell (t)hey are, for hos(t)ing (t)his whole (t)hing!
cc: none of (t)his ©ould've happened wi(t)hou(t) you.
cc: you're also (t)o (t)hank for (t)he programming, game design, and basi©ally every o(t)her role here
cc: but, (t)here's a few o(t)her people i'd like (t)o (t)hank on the produ©(t)ion (t)eam.
cc: (t)he_nonexis(t)en(t)_(t)azz. (t)hank you for lending me a few people (t)o use as se(t)pie©es, and for helping wi(t)h (t)he plo(t).
cc: i ©an'(t) (t)hank you enough, man.
cc: also a special thanks to pi(t)_(t)he_angel for the ©ri(t)i©al hi(t) i©ons, and (t)winbuilder for making (t)hose (t)errifying pie©es of ar(t) for 13 and (t)he bu(t)(t)erfly.
cc: you bo(t)h brea(t)hed a spe©ial bi(t) of life in(t)o (t)his game, and (t)ha(t)'s awesome.
cc: spe©ial (t)hanks (t)o mabuz for reviving (t)his spee©h when i acciden(t)ally deleted i(t); (t)ha(t) was pre(t)(t)y handy!

A generic laugh track plays. Nobody in the audience actually laughs.

cc: and now, personal (t)hanks.
cc: reds(t)one, engie, piono- (t)hanks for being ©razy enough (t)o (t)ry (t)his game ou(t).
cc: if you never (t)ook (t)he plunge, (t)hen who would've?
cc: (t)wo ou(t) of (t)hree of you even s(t)u©k ou(t) (t)ill (t)he very end. (t)ha(t)'s dedi©a(t)ion, righ(t) (t)here.

cc: piono, inser(t), (t)alis(t), (t)eag, pri©ey, sunny, ho(t) po©ke(t), (t)hank you for being a major par(t) of (t)his journey.
cc: even (t)hough you weren'(t) (t)here for (t)he whole (t)rip, i(t) was a joy having you around.
cc: i(t) was fun running you (t)hrough (t)he dea(t)h©ourses of the minds©ape, and i'm (t)hankful (t)ha(t) you played for more (t)han jus(t) a few minu(t)es.

cc: ne(t)pa(t)ham, moo, cools(t)ar, w32, (t)opazian, no(t)mary, (t)winbuilder, modpa©k, nomble, pie, revan, ro(t)om, manof(t)hemen1, (t)ri©kle, (t)ha(t)guy, ziah, deliah...
cc: while you really didn'(t) play (t)he game mu©h, i'm happy you a(t) leas(t) de©ided (t)o (t)ry i(t) ou(t).
cc: i ©an unders(t)and if (t)his wasn'(t) really your "©up of (t)ea", so to say.
cc: and even if some of you never en(t)ered ba(t)(t)le... a(t) leas(t) you (t)ried.

cc: lordof(t)hesword, d©©©v, heze(t)or... even (t)hough you only joined near (t)he very end, (t)hanks for s(t)i©king around.
cc: i(t) means a lo(t), man.

cc: reds(t)one, engie, pi(t)_(t)he_angel, soup, darkside, (t)oas(t), ©rys(t)al, ba(t)(t)lefury, ©onsumme, bomber, ©yan, jon, speed, joe, emerald...
cc: you guys ro©k. wi(t)hou(t) you long-runners, (t)his game wouldn'(t) have been nearly as awesome.
cc: your ©ons(t)an(t) ©on(t)ribu(t)ions (t)o ba(t)(t)le, (t)he plo(t), and jus(t) every(t)hing in general
cc: god damn is i(t) heartwarming to know that you stuck around so long, for something I created. Thank you so much!

Chaos coughs up a hairball. It flies into the audience, dealing (25) points of lethal damage to one of the many Glitch Zombies in the crowd.

cc: blarg, some(t)hing in my (t)hroa(t)
cc: well, (t)ha(t)'s all from me
cc: (t)ake i(t) away, miss elem!

Chaos cartwheels to stage right, accidentally trampling Marron who was on her way back to the stage. Chloe ends up dragging Marron over to centre stage, and helping her back up.

tc: Hi, could I avoid getting injured for once in my life!?
tc: That'd be great, thanks.
ga: Hey, some of these things, you can't control.
ga: ...It does seem that you're the universe's butt monkey, though...
ga: Getting shot, slashed, lasered, scaled, stabbed by your own sister, mauled... you've been through a lot, haven't you?
tc: L-Let's not talk about the ways I've been maimed, alright!?
ga: Alright, alright.
ga: Anyway, it's time to introduce the categories!

A screen drops down from behind Chloe... and we mean actually dropped, smashing a hole into the floor and cracking the screen slightly. Most of the monitor is still visible, though...

tc: ...I'm just surprised that it didn't hit me.
ga: I-I thought we had a decent production value!
ga: A-Anyway...
ga: Hopefully, this screen still works...

The screen flickers to life, displaying the first of many categories.

ga: First up is the MVP Category!
ga: Who was the most important player amongst you all? Maybe it was Roxxy, with her ability to command the party?
ga: Maybe it was Darkside, who cheesed the hell out of the Fatal Error.
tc: You'd totally vote for the Operative, wouldn't you Chloe?
ga: I-I'm not allowed to vote in this!
ga: Besides, I wouldn't let that bias cloud me!
tc: Sure, sure...

The screen flickers again.

ga: Next up are the Best Weapon, Best Armor, and Best Special categories!
ga: Maybe you thought the Jadesaw was overpowered? Or maybe the Skeletron Prime Mask? Or perhaps the Aura of Smooth was just a little too smooth and also shattered the game in two.
tc: Or maybe you're looking at the more "pleasing" side of things. Aesthetics. Style. Thematics.
tc: But let's be honest, you're going to vote for "most overpowered".
ga: Y-Yeah. You totally are.

The screen flickers again, in an exceedingly generic fashion. It's probably displaying material related to the categories being shown off. Who really knows?

ga: Here's the Best Boss and Best Foe categories!
ga: The Best Battle category also ties into here, so we're talking about that, too!
ga: Pane, 13, SHAME... they were all incredibly punishing bosses, but only one of them can come out on top here!
ga: And we can't forget about their minions. The fodder between these epic struggles!
tc: Don't forget about the battles, too. Hell, I personally loved watching Mari's house get blown up-

A wrench is thrown from the audience, impacting Marron on the head for (5) damage.

tc: OW! gorillaING WHY!?
tc: I swear to god I'm going to die before the end of these presentations...
ga: I-I'll get you a potion once we're offstage again, don't worry!

The screen flickers again. Who possibly could've seen that coming?

ga: And now, the Best Quote category, and... and...
tc: The Best Girl Contest? What!?
ga: I-I mean, the quote thing kinda explains itself, but really!?
ga: C-Chaos, when did you add this to the rotation!?
cc: jus(t) now. people on (t)he in(t)erne(t) keep deba(t)ing abou(t) (t)his, so i'm pu(t)(t)ing (t)he debai(t) (t)o res(t)
cc: righ(t) here, righ(t) now. doing (t)he world a servi©e.
tc: ...
tc: Well, the only certain thing is that I'll lose this contest, and that... dunno, freaking Roxxanne would win this or something.
tc: I probably won't get a single vote...
ga: D-Don't say that! I'm sure you'll do fine!
ga: I'm probably gonna win, though. It's a cocky thing to say... but I have this gut feeling.
tc: ...

The screen goes black... probably from the damage it took earlier.

ga: And there you have it! Those are our categories!
ga: The temmies around you will be handing out nomination forums to everyone in the audience soon enough. Please be patient!

A forum finds its way to you... why not give out your vote?
https://goo.gl/forms/SKJ5zY3bURmktZ8l1

ga: That's it for now! We'll be taking a short recess to give everyone time to vote!
ga: See you in a bit!

The curtains close.

Originally posted on 2017-10-09 21:37:00

...Did I really forget to post it here?
Whatever.

...And now, you may vote for the winners of the second Chaos Awards!

No complementary post due to the fact that it'd probably just be Chloe going "oh hey look people got nominated" or something.

VOTE HERE: https://goo.gl/forms/OPd6oDxl6VGImbwv2
WARNING: Voting for the same person twice in a question will result in your entire voting forum being deleted! You have been warned. Voting twice will also get your earlier ballot deleted.

Originally posted on 2017-10-11 15:40:00

...Music fills the air as the curtains part once more. Chloe and Marron are center stage. Between them is a table with ten uninteresting looking envelopes within a box, each of them with a red wax seal bearing the symbol of the Chaos Butterfly; the <0>. Mic in hand, Chloe begins to address the audience, a certain joy in her voice.

ga: Heya! Welcome back, everyone!
ga: Thanks for your nominations... and your votes!
ga: You do remember filling out the voting cards that came with the nomination cards, right?
tc: Don't ask how that works.
tc: Because it doesn't.
ga: Anyway, we're here to announce the winners of the second annual(?) Chaos Awards!
tc; Woo.

Applause rips out through the theater. A newly-repaired screen has been glued to the wall behind the presenting duo.

ga: Anyway, we'll be presenting the MVP Award last, as that's the most prestigious award of the night!
tc: ...Actually, we're keeping the Best Girl Contest behind that award.
tc: I'm not in a hurry to see my inevitable loss...
ga: Don't say that, Mar!
tc: ...Mar?
ga: Yeah! Mar. Mar-ron.
tc: That's a terrible nickname.
ga: Really? I think it's kinda cute.
tc: ...It really isn't.
tc: Besides, Mari shares the first three letters of my name! There's bound to be some confusion!
tc: ...
tc: Anyway, let's just get these awards underway...
ga: Agreed!

Chloe lifts up the first envelope of the night, and pops open the seal. She pulls a marked sheet of paper out of the envelope, before burning the envelope itself to ashes. She lifts her hand, and allows the ashes to waft away into the air. She then clears her throat.

ga: Anyway, our first award of the night! The Best Weapon Award!
ga: What's the deadliest weapon of them all, you might ask? Well, I think this weapon's a pretty good candidate.
ga: Your winner iiiiiiiis...
tc: It's the Source Code.
ga: THE SOURC-

Chloe shuts up mid sentence. Marron shrugs. The older of the two hosts stutters and stammers for a brief moment, before regaining her composure.

ga: Y-You can't-
tc: Yeah. I read it first. Deal with it.
ga: T-There's a certain air and "pomp" you need to have to read these things out, dear...
ga: Just a blank tone won't get everyone as hyped up!
tc: I mean, do we really care about the results?
ga: ..I do!
tc: Really? This is like, inconsequential!
tc: You're pretty basic, you know that?
ga: ...
ga: Anyway. Winner. Source Code.
ga: While we'd invite it up to give a speech... it's not really animate.
tc: I don't think it'd say anything interesting, anyway.
ga: Oh! I almost forgot! Take a look, everyone!
ga: This lovely screen behind us will announce the runner ups!

BEST WEAPON AWARD:
WINNER: Source Code (15 points)
RUNNER UPS: Chairheir's Promise (11 points), Bill's Cane (9 points)

tc: Amazing. The screen actually has a use this time.
ga: I mean, we can't just shell out 10 Gold for a nice screen AND 4 Gold for repairs... and then never end up using it.
ga: Anyway, how about we talk about our next category, the Best Armor Award?
tc: Go ahead. I won't cut you off this time.
ga: Suuuure.

Chloe lifts out an envelope from the box on the table. One ritual burning later, she begins to read out the contents of the envelope.

ga: The Best Armor Award!
ga: Armor isn't just something that keeps you safe; sometimes, it's far more then that!
ga: It- hold on.

As Marron attempts to sneak a look at the paper she's holding, Chloe sticks an arm out, forcefully keeping Marron from looking at the contents of the envelope. Marron flails and slaps at Chloe in an attempt to look at the envelope.

ga: Anyway- ow- the winner of the- ow- Best Armor Award- ow- goes to- ow-
ga: RADIANCE!
tc: gorilla. Didn't get to do the thing.

Marron ceases her assault on Chloe.

ga: Congratulations on making the best armor, Toast!
ga: We'd invite you up, but technically... your armor won.
tc: Hey, nice job Toaster! Proud of ya!

BEST ARMOR AWARD:
WINNER: Radiance (20 points)
RUNNER UPS: Temmie Armor (15 points), Skeletron Prime Helmet (10 points)

ga: Next up is the Best Special Award!
ga: While I'm pretty partial to my special, I think that everyone has a lovely special!
ga: However... only one of them can be the best!
ga: And...

Chloe stares at Marron.

tc: ...What?
tc: I'm not doing anything this time!
tc: Chill.
ga: ...If you do anything, I'll slap you.

Chloe frees the sheet of paper from its envelope.

ga: The winner of the Best Special Award is...
ga: LIMIT BREAK!
tc: Woo! Toaster with two in a row!
tc: She's the best, isn't she?
ga: I don't think we're allowed to have our own personal biases...
ga: ...But anyway, amazing job, Toast!
ga: Still can't call your special up here, though.
ga: If Lyra had won, we'd probably be able to call up those cute lil' chibi's...
ga: Eeee, I bet they have the cutest little dresses~

BEST SPECIAL AWARD:
WINNER: Limit Break (22 points)
RUNNER UPS: Assist Team (21 points), Masters of the Bazaar (17 points)

ga: Now, one of the... uh, "scarier" awards of the night.
ga: Hopefully, we don't trigger any of you bosses in the crowd...
cc: Just read it out. Nothing bad could possibly happen. I won't lynch you if I lose.
cc: Hahahahahahahaha.
ga: ...
tc: Oh man. You're totally gonna die, aren't you?
ga: ...D-Don't say that.
ga: A-Anyway.

Envelope. Opened. Paper. Burned.

ga: The winner of the Best Boss Award is-
ta: WARE and the Fatal Error!
ga: GODDAMNIT PANE! You didn't even win this!
ga: Did you really feel the need to-
ta: Why, yes! Anyway, why don't I take over this pitiful awards show-

A gigantic set of legs crashes through the ceiling, and a beam rather violently obliterates the Shade of Pane. The Chaos Butterfly has crashed the party.

WHAT. H<0>W DID I, THE PERFECT CREATI<0>N <0>F PSI, N<0>T WIN THIS!?
WHY WASN'T I INVITED, EITHER?
ga: I, uh...
tc: ...We, uh...
Y<0>U D<0>N'T HAVE A REAS<0>N, D<0> Y<0>U?
A SHAME.
WHY D<0>N'T I PUT AN END T<0> THIS W<0>RTHLESS SH<0>W?
tc: Hey, good luck doing that.
tc: We'll probably just kill you again-

Marron is promptly flicked across the screen by one of the Butterfly's legs. A gigantic brawl ensues with the Chaos Butterfly... right as the screen decides to rather helpfully display the victors of the category. Good job, screen! You're really helping!

BEST BOSS AWARD:
WINNER: WARE / The Fatal Error (21 points)
RUNNER UPS: The Chaos Butterfly (16 points), The Telltale Heart (7 points)

---

Some time later, the Butterfly is left dead on the ground, its corpse slowly disintegrating into dust. Half of the theater has been destroyed, along with more than a quarter of the audience. A slightly battered Chloe, now in her usual adventurer gear, stands center stage once more.

ga: ...
ga: Thank god this isn't canon.
ga: A-Anyway, everyone alright...?

She waits for a moment for responses. A few "yeahs", "yeses" and "hell no my legs" come from the crowd.

ga: Good, good...
ga: A-Anyway, we have complementary potions being handed out, courtesy of Glitch Temmie...
ga: H-How much do we need to pay for this, again?
"About... 200 gold."
ga: T-TWO HUNDRED GOLD!?
"Hey, potions aren't cheap."
ga: ...
ga: Well. Good start to the second half of the show.
ga: Anyway, Marron's been pretty badly injured, and she won't be able to continue hosting the show with me...
ga: So... give it up for my new co-host and my technically-sister... Mari!

Mari waves to the crowd as she walks to center stage. She's donned her typical scientist's garb and... well, she looks completely normal.

ga: So, Mari! How you feeling?
ut: I could be better.
ut: But hey. I'm basically the only person who can actually sub in besides Chaos, who's too busy sweeping up the Butterfly's corpse...
ut: Let's get this on, shall we?
ga: Agreed!

Mari snatches an envelope, rips it open, and loots the paper. She then crumples up the envelope into a ball before tossing it into the air. With a flick of her fingers, the envelope is fried by a bolt of lightning.

ut: Anyway, the winner of the Best Foe Award is Marron!
ga: ...Really? No build-up to reading it?
ut: Yeah. So?
ga: J-Just leave the readings to me, alright?
ut: Sure. Whatever.

Marron hobbles onto the stage, one leg wrapped up in a comedic number of bandages. She has crutches...

tc: Seriously? You replaced me with your sister?
ut: She totally did.
ga: Yeah. Sorry.
tc: A-Anyway. Thanks for this award... I guess?
tc: Do you really all see me as a foe still? Really?
tc: Come the gorilla on! That's just rude.
ga: I mean, I don't! I think they voted you in as a joke...
tc: Pretty gorilla joke if you ask me.
"I concur. I was robbed."
"Good show, though."

The audience applauds as Marron takes her trophy begrudingly, and hobbles back offstage. The screen helpfully showcases the winners and runners up for the Best Foe Award.

BEST FOE AWARD:
WINNER: Marron...? (22 points)
RUNNER UPS: Glitch Temmie (20 points), The Placebomodder (18 points)

ga: Anyway, it's time for the Best Battle Award!
ga: While epic bosses and their mooks might be one thing, the battlefields they take place on can really make the difference!
ga: I'm a fan of the peaceful Memoir Caverns... but those weren't an option here!
ga: Plus, I can't vote.
ut: I'm more of a Nightmare Mountain person myself.
ut: Also. Totally gonna lob wrenches at everyone who voted for my house getting torn down.
ga: Do you WANT to be escorted out by security?
ga: The tems are merciless creatures, you know!
ut: Hey, I can take them!

Laughter rings out from the Temmie part of the audience.

ut: What!?
ut: You think I'm a joke, don't you?
ut: Well, come and SAY THAT TO MY-

Chloe plants a hand over Mari's mouth, censoring most of her obscenities.

ga: P-Please pardon my sister!
ga: Anyway, the winner of the Best Battle Award is...
ga: THE LOVELY YET DEADLY SPHERE!

Applause.

ga: Dragging the Sphere here would likely kill everyone, so we're keeping it on the backline for now.
ga: We are mailing a trophy to it, though!
cc: Neat.

BEST BATTLE AWARD:
WINNER: The Sphere (19 points)
RUNNER UPS: The End (14 points), Shattered Skies Part 2 (8 points)

ga: And now, the Best Quote award!
ut: Were there really that many memorable quotes?
ga: Probably. I'm having a hard time recalling them off the top of my head...
ut: This was a bad category idea, wasn't it?
ga: Yeah...
ga: But anyway...

She pulls out the envelope. Chloe appears to be whispering something...? However, what she's saying is loud and clear...

ga: please don't be me getting flustered please don't be me getting flustered
ut: You're holding a mic. We can all hear that.
ga: ...

Chloe's face goes red, right on stage. Mari snags the envelope from her, and frees the paper from its grasp.

ut: Anyway, the winner of this... mediocre at best category is...
ut: ...
ut: The hell?
ga: What's so "the hell"?
ut: Just... look.

The two stare in silence at the paper for a brief moment.

ga: Uh...
ga: The winners are Marron's quote, Toast's quote, and Engie's quote!
ga: Three way tie! Amazing!
ut: Who the hell is Engie? Isn't he one of those universe eaters?
ga: I think? No idea what he's doing putting his quote here.
ga: S-Scary dude, though.
ga: There's no "memory universe eater", right?
cc: (t)here is no(t)
ga: T-Thank god.

BEST QUOTE AWARD:
WINNERS: Marron's Quote, Toast's Quote, and Engie's Quote (8 points each)
RUNNER UPS: Every Other Quote (7 points each), Chaos's Quote (5 points)

Silence befalls the theater in anticipation of the MVP award.

ga: Now! The award you've all been waiting for!
ut: Except the Best Girl Contest. God knows that's the real thing we're waiting for.
ga: I mean, of course you'd care about that.
ga: And that's fine. Liking the silly category is fine.
ut: You think my favorite category is trash don't you
ga: ...A little...?
ga: A-ANYWAY! MVP AWARD!
ga: We have six potential candidates for this award!
ga: The calculated and deadly Roxxanne!
ut: The undying, game-snapping Toast!
[small][small]tc: Yeah! Go Toast![/small][/small]
ga: The explosive and draconic Darkside!
ut: The... uh, gasterblaster guy, Hezetor!
ga: The... uh, JOE!
ut: And finally, the not-actually a writer Author!
ga: Which one of these contestants will be deserving of the MVP Award?

Chloe opens up the envelope, and retrieves the paper. Mari immediately begins to laugh and yell.

ut: OH MY GOD YES.
ut: ROXXOR CONFIRMED-

Chloe performs a tactical slap on Mari for (3) damage.

ga: Now is NOT the time!
ga: A-Anyway!
ga: Your winner... or should I say WINNERS, for the MVP Award are...

A drum rolls across the stage.

ga: ROXXANNE AND THE AUTHOR!

Applause fills the stage.

ga: Now, Roxxanne told me she had a speech prepared in case she won... so why don't you come on up to the stage, Roxxy?

The audience continues to applaud as Roxxanne comes up onto the stage, standing right new to Chloe.

ua: ...I'm a horrible person. I frankly do not deserve this role for any moral quandary of mine, and Its a laugh and a half to even pretend why not. I've screwed up so much, in and out. I'm happy to have been of service to you all as a tactical coordinator.
ua: Thank you so much for believing in me and being my friends, all of you people! I really can't explain how much this means to me, even if it is a tie.
ua: Oh, and congradulations to the Author for his wonderful help to the team while you were with us!

MVP AWARD:
WINNERS: Roxxanne and the Author (6 points each)
RUNNER UPS: JOE (4 points), Toast (3 points)

Roxxanne leaps off of the stage, leaving only Chloe and Mari on stage once again. A single envelope remains.

ga: Now...
ut: The main event.
ga: W-We just did the main event!
ut: This is the REAL main event.

Silence befalls the stage. An even THICKER silence. Apparently, this really is more important than the MVP award.

ga: W-What's with this feeling?
ga: I feel... pressure.
ga: L-Like a thousand people will k-kill me if their waifu doesn't win.
ut: Welcome to the internet, dearest sister.
ga: ...Scary!
ga: A-Anyway!

Chloe pulls out the envelope.

ut: You won't be able to give this category its proper justice.
ut: Mind if I read it out?
ga: G-Go ahead! By all means!
ut: Niiiice!

Mari takes the envelope, and rips it open.

ut: Oh? That's the winner? Fascinating.
ut: My, my! What a twist!
ut: But, it'd be rude to keep you all in suspense, so I'll just read it out.
ut: Your winner of the BEST WAIFU CONTEST, TWENTY-SEVENTEEN, IS...

Chaos, apparently done with sweeping up the Butterfly's remains, is taking the time to roll a rather large drum across the stage.

ut: MARRON NEEDLEWORKER!

Rampant applause takes everyone by storm! This is all cut off by a very loud and sudden "WHAT!?" from the sidelines. Marron 'sprints' in as fast as her crutches will let her.

tc: Y-You're kidding, right?
tc: This is some cruel joke, right!?
tc: Nobody would vote for me! Nobody!
tc: I'm kinda weak, I rely on my sister for a lot of things, I'm like the flattest girl in existence, I didn't even land a single blow in my battle-
ga: S-Stop it with the self-loathing, Marron!
ga: Take a look at the paper! Mari's not lying.

Marron hobbles over another foot, before taking a good long look at the paper. Tears well up in her eyes, before she eventually begins crying on stage.

ga: O-Oh my god!
ga: M-Marron!?
ga: A-Are you alright?
tc: Y-Yeah...
tc: I... I didn't really except t-to w-win...

Marron's smiling. Within the audience, Ette is giving a standing ovation to her sister.

tc: A-Am I really that special...?
ga: Of course you are!
ut: According to the audience, yes.
ut: You kinda pale in comparison to the real best girl, Miku.
ut: But still.
ut: Congrats!
ga: Yeah! Congratulations!

Marron pulls Chloe into a hug (for the sole reason that she's the closest person), and begins crying her tears of joy into her chest. The audience applauds at the sight, and the announcement of her victory. After what seems like a minute, the applause dies down, and Marron lets go of Chloe, and balances herself on her crutches once again.

tc: Man.
tc: It's a shame canon me won't remember this.
ga: Yeah.
ga: Hey, revel in this victory while you can, girl! You've earnt it!
ut: That's the nature of these contests.

Mari opts to escort Marron offstage, taking her trophy in hand for her. Marron slowly hobbles off with Mari slowly walking behind her.

BEST GIRL CONTEST:
BEST GIRL: Marron (27 points)
NOT BEST GIRL: Roxxanne (19 points), Toast (18 points), TOFS (16 points), Mari (15 points), Zetta (14 points), Chloe (13 points), Lyra (9 points), Nia (4 points)

Only Chloe remains on stage now.

ga: Man. I totally jinxed myself there, didn't I?
ga: Hahahaha...
ga: A-Anyway...
ga: Thanks for attending this show, guys!
ga: We couldn't have held this show without you all, and without your support!
ga: Till next time, everyone!
ga: And... thanks for playing!

The audience applauds as the curtains close on DTG: Chaos, for the last time.

---

ut: Wait, why's there an envelope beneath the box?
ut: Let me get that...
ut: Uh, the winner of the fabled "Sap Jar Award" is the Red Sap Jar!
ut: Congratulations, jar. The red one. You beat Green and Blue, 10 to 4, and 10 to 5.
ut: You... uh, did it?
ut: ...who comes up with this gorilla, anyway?
ut: Anyway.
ut: Goodnight!

Originally posted on 2017-10-12 02:10:00

So long, and thanks for all the dogs.

Originally posted on 2017-10-14 00:13:00